01-24-13

INDEPENDENT SINCE 1880

The Corne¬ Daily Sun Vol. 129, No. 75

THURSDAY, JANUARY 24, 2013

‘Powerful’Online Class Starts Amid MOOC Debate

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ITHACA, NEW YORK

Hot ’n cold

16 Pages – Free News ‘Sexual State of the Union’

‘Sexpert’ Susie Bright discussed sex trafficking and censorship of sexual expression on Wednesday.

Course gives C.U.access to new audience

Opinion

By JONATHAN SWARTZ

Hop on Board

| Page 3

Jimothy Singh suggests various modes of transportation as bedroom alternatives.

Sun Staff Writer

As the University considers whether or not it should begin offering massive, open online courses, it has begun teaching a free, online course on hospitality — marking the latest in the University’s attempt to navigate its place on the web.

The self-paced, online course, “Marketing the Hospitality Brand through New Media: Social, Mobile, and Search,” which began earlier January, is based off of class materials from the School of Hotel Administration.

Taught by Prof. Robert Kwortnik, services marketing, and Dr. Bill Carroll, senior lecturer in the hotel school, the course was first offered as a regular class on campus in Spring 2012.

“That class became the springboard for the online course, which [Carroll and I] developed throughout the summer and fall of 2012,” Kwortnik said.

Because students can enroll in the course for free, Kwortnik expects a substantial number of students to sign up for the course.

“It’s ... exciting that the new course will reach a wide audience of learners — without a doubt, more students will take this course than I have taught in my [entire] career,” he said. “That’s a powerful reach.”

Furthermore, the course will allow eCornell to explore free courses as a marketing strategy, according to Chris Proulx ’91, president and CEO of eCornell.

See eCORNELL page 4

| Page 7

Arts Balling With the Governor

Arielle Cruz ’15 talks about the artist line-up at the upcoming Governor’s Ball. | Page 9

Sports An Unfortunate End

Sophomore forward Cole Bardreau ends the ice hockey season early after fracturing his neck. | Page 16 JORDAN VARTANIAN / SUN STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER

Evan Fauntleroy ’13 warms up with a hot beverage on a cold Ithaca day.

Weather Snow HIGH: 10 LOW: 4

New Sexual Assault Prog.

Responds to Fall Attacks

By JOSEPH NICZKY Sun Senior Writer

COURTESY OF CORNELL UNIVERSITY

‘On his shoulders’ | Former Cornell vice president Steve Muller Ph.D. ’58, center, lead the negotiations during the Willard Straight Hall Takeover in 1969. He died Saturday at age 85.

Negotiator in WSH Takeover Dies

By ALEXA DAVIS Sun Staff Writer

Former Cornell vice president Steven Muller Ph.D. ’58, who was instrumental in ending the Willard Straight Hall Takeover in 1969, passed away Saturday due to respiratory failure. He was 85 years old.

According to Prof. Theodore Lowi, government, Muller had helped negotiate the peaceful withdrawal of armed student protesters during the Takeover when students took over the Straight to demand that the

University improve its treatment of black students.

“I have nothing but good memories of [Muller]. He was very collegial and had that quality of being able to engage people to help them see others’ perspectives. I was impressed by his genuine listening to students,” Lowi said in a press release. “He took most of the troubles [of the protests] on his shoulders."

In addition to negotiating the peaceful resolution of the Takeover, Muller was also instrumental in creating the Einaudi Center for International Studies,

according to Prof. Emeritus Walter Lafeber, history.

“He succeeded Mario Einaudi as director in 1962, and was instrumental in making the Center one of the leading entities of its kind in the United States. [Einaudi Center for International Studies] was a pioneering effort in many ways, and we owe a great deal to Muller’s foundational work in those critical initial years,” Lafeber said in an email. “[Muller’s] most significant, See MULLER page 5

In response to several reported sexual assaults in the fall, Cornell introduced a program on sexual assaults and safety to orientation week in January. University officials say that it may make participating in the program, called “Speak About It,” mandatory for all incoming students in the fall.

The program aimed to educate students about issues related to preventing sexual assault.

One hundred forty-nine new students attended the program.

Administrators will evaluate their feedback before deciding whether to offer the program in the fall, according to Sarah Jones, assistant dean for new student programs.

‘Speak About It’ focuses on consent, boundaries and healthy relationships,” Jones said. “It’s a one-hour presentation by a group of performers who are sharing real stories from college students from around the country. They use those stories to talk about sex and healthy relationships … and how every member of the community has a role in preventing sexual assault.”

Jones said that the program encourages students to discuss numerous topics regarding sexual relationships.

“The goal is really to introduce students so that they can get examples of different ways to use language to talk about consent,” Jones said. “It was also about ways to be a bystander in our community. So if you’re at a party and you see someone or you see your friend has had too much to drink, how do you reach out to them to see if they need help?”

Laura Weiss, director of the Women’s Resource Center, said she thinks having an event like ‘Speak About It’ in orientation is a good conversation-starter.

“Introducing [students] to the idea early is a good idea,” she added.

Weiss said that the new program is only a portion of Cornell’s overall response.

“I think it really needs to be big picture. … It’s never a job that’s really done,” Weiss said.

Weiss said that she thinks the University will continue the ‘Speak About It’ program next semester.

“I think the Speak About It program will be a continuing part of orientation going forward because I think introducing to students the issues that it covered from their first moments on campus is important,” Weiss said.

See SEXUAL VIOLENCE page 5

2 THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Thursday, January 24, 2013

Today

DAYBOOK

Thursday, January 24, 2013

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“Imbisciles”

Coffee Hour: Alternative Academic Careers 12:45 - 2 p.m., 341 Caldwell Hall Cynthia Fryer Steer Presents “Emerging Markets: What Now?” 3 - 4:15 p.m., B10 Sage Hall Super-Earths and Life: Characterizing Exoplanets 4 - 5 p.m., 105 Space Sciences Building Business Analytics for Flexible Resource Allocation Under Random Emergencies 4:15 p.m., 253 Frank H.T. Rhodes Hall

Meaning is contrived Reality is not perception Apples don’t taste red —That Haiku Kid ʼ15

Tomorrow From Birthers to Dreamers: Citizenship and the Moral Meaning of Time 3 p.m., 153 Uris Hall Large-Scale Brain Network Interactivity: Implications for Goal-Directed Cognition and Aging 3:30 p.m., 202 Uris Hall

PUPIL POETRY

Our Expanding Oceans Lecture 5:30 - 7:30 p.m., Museum of the Earth

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THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Thursday, January 24, 2013 3

NEWS

‘Sexpert’ Delivers Sexual State of the Union at C.U.

By NOAH RANKIN Sun Staff Writer

Two days after President Barack Obama’s second inauguration, Susie Bright, a blogger, speaker and ‘sexpert’ — a sex expert — delivered what she called a “sexual State of the Union” at Cornell.

Embracing sexual expression, Bright said that she faced backlash when she published and founded “On Our Backs,” the first magazine to feature lesbian erotica, in the 1980s. “[Other feminists] thought that we were crudely and violently exploiting female imagery to the detriment of all womankind,” she said. “We were saying that we were taking control of our sexual image and [that] this is a fundamental of women’s sexual liberation movement.”

Later, Bright said she realized that her opponents “had all the same sexual idiosyncrasies, fantasies, wishes, dreams as anyone else.”

“Now, when I look back on it, it was a much more tragic turf war. The women’s movement had been marginalized,” she said.

“As I grew older, I would find myself in the living rooms and bedrooms of people who had once been my enemies on the subject, and I would say, ‘What do you know? Old

so-and-so has a vibrator!’”

Over time, Bright said, she realized that people who censor sexual expression indulge in sexual acts and fantasies similar to everyone else.

“Everyone is sexual. This is why [the censors] bother me so much,” she said. “They want to be able to see everything. They want permission to indulge in all of it. But just them. Not for you.”

The opposition to sexual expression has not changed throughout the years, according to Bright.

“If someone were to ask me what hasn’t changed in the sexual State of the Union, I would say that would be the top of my list,” she said.

Reflecting on Obama’s second inauguration, Bright said that she was politically motivated to attend the event. She said she wanted to be present at the inauguration that had more to it “than who won or lost [the presidential election].”

“I was part of a group of artists who came up with the idea that making art in public was one of the best examples of participatory democracy that one can demonstrate,” she said. Bright added that she wished to “be a part of something that was bigger ... something that witnessed a peaceful transition of

Preparing for prospectives

MORGAN GREENE / SUN STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER

Sex, politics and pleasure | Visiting Cornell, sex writer Susie Bright delivers what she called the “Sexual State of the Union” Wednesday in Goldwin Smith Hall.

power.”

In addition to reflecting on the presidential inauguration, Bright also criticized the lack of discussion on sex trafficking around the world.

“It’s an issue that there’s no country that doesn’t have its own version of [sex trafficking victims],” Bright said. “Unfortunately, on the world stage, a subject like [sex trafficking] is spoken of, as if it weren’t another form of forced labor. Why do we talk about ‘sex slaves’ differently, as opposed to somebody who is forced to work in any other occupation without pay, under threat of violence?”

By NOAH TULSKY

MORGAN GREENE / SUN STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER

Cornell campus tour guides reconnect at their first staff meeting of the spring semester Wednesday.

Dartmouth College sororities extended bids to 89 out of 113 women, the highest percentage in the past four years of winter rush, as a part of the formal winter sorority recruitment, The Dartmouth reported Wednesday.

Six University of Pennsylvania students filed a lawsuit against the Trustees of the University of

Noah Rankin can be reached at nrankin@cornellsun.com.

Cornell Receives $1.4M Grant To Launch Seminars on Urbanism Sun Staff Writer

Harvard University delivered verdicts to approximately 125 students embroiled in a cheating scandal Tuesday.

The college plans to make an investigation related announcement near the start of the spring semester, The Harvard Crimson reported.

Bright concluded that the degree of sexual expression there is in a society is related to what that society’s political climate is like.

“If you can’t say something about the body, about sexuality, there’s your standard.

And everything flows from that,” she said.

“In places and in cultures where sexual speech is heavily regulated, you see it reflected in every aspect in a lack of democracy.

Sexual speech, democracy ... the freer one is ... the more participatory you see the other.”

Pennsylvania Inc., alleging the students’ residence was afflicted with various problems including leaks, rodents, mold and the collapse of their third floor bathroom ceiling, The Daily Pennsylvanian reported Wednesday.

Yale University received a record-high 29,790 applications this year for the class of 2017, marking a three percent increase over last year’s application count of 28,977, the Yale Daily News reported Tuesdday.

The crime rate at Brown University dropped 60 percent over winter break compared to the last four weeks of the fall semester, The Brown Daily Herald reported.

Hoping to allow humanities and design students to learn about urban design, Cornell will launch seminars about contemporary cities for undergraduate and graduate students in Fall 2013.

The University will fund the seminars with a $1.4-million grant from the Andrew W. Mellon Foundation. The seminars will specifically target students who are interested in urbanism — how a city’s inhabitants interact with the environment around them — according to Timothy Murray, director of the Society for the Humanities.

“This multi-year grant will allow a sustained and systematic exchange of perspectives, tools, theories and methods between disciplines that really have to work together to conceptualize ... the mass urbanization of the world population,” said Kent Kleinman, dean of the architecture college.

The pilot program will consist of a “two-pronged approach” to studying urbanism, featuring two distinct seminar series, according to Murray.

The Urban Representation Labs, one of the two seminar series, will allow students to study Cornell’s collection of urban materials in a seminar-style setting.

The second seminar series, called Expanded Practice Seminars, will bring humanities students into design and architecture studios to research global urbanism. The students will also collaborate on traditional architecture and design projects, according to Murray.

The Urban Representation Labs will focus on art about cities, ranging from the hip-hop collection at the University’s libraries to paintings at the Herbert F. Johnson Museum that focus on the rise of the bourgeoisie, according to Kleinman.

The artwork, some of which is unique to Cornell, is valuable to understanding the contemporary city, according to University Librarian Anne

Kenney.

For example, Kenney noted that students will be able to view visual art and listen to hip-hop recordings that played an essential role in rebuilding the Bronx community, which was damaged by the construction of the Bronx Freeway in the 1960s.

“It was more than a hip hop phenomenon; it was a community-building phenomenon,” Kenney said.

The second seminar series, the Expanded Practice Seminars, will benefit Cornell because it will use a hands-on, global focus and will ask students to take field trips to cities, Kleinman said.

“This direct confrontation with the urban condition will, I believe, ground the research in a kind of particularity and site specificity that is common in design fields,” he said.

Murray said that the two seminar series reflect two different approaches to studying urbanism. “[The aim is] to provide a common pedagogical opportunity for the two communities to share their methods, observations and approaches to urban theory, culture and design,” he said.

Kleinman said that the seminars are important because they will immerse humanities students in studies of design.

“Physical planning and architecture involve constructing material and spatial armatures to support social and cultural life,” he said. “You cannot undertake this task without deep reflection on the human condition.”

Humanities students will also benefit from learning about architecture because they will “experience the technical and conceptual training in digital design that architectural graduate students receive,” Murray said.

Furthermore, Kenney said, Cornell’s urbanism seminars will help “break down some of those silos between different disciplines” and bring “critical humanistic thought to tackling global issues.”

Noah Tulsky can be reached at ntulsky@cornellsun.com.

4 THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Thursday, January 24, 2013

NEWS

eCornell Course Uses Hotel School Content NEWS

Continued from page 1

choose to enroll for additional courses ... or a certificate program track,” he said. “In that sense, we are exploring the use of these types of [free] courses as a marketing strategy.”

According to Proulx, eCornell decided to offer the course for free online to gauge the public’s response based on the number of students who enroll, decide to take additional courses or pursue a certificate program on eCornell. “[The course’s online] format — free and [capable of ] highvolume — was initiated to explore the response of the professional market to courses with larger enrollment,” he said.

Kwortnik emphasized that although the course is taught online, there is still considerable interaction between the students and the instruction team. For example, students may join a discussion forum with other course participants to debate brand strategy as a part of an assignment.

“Although the participants in the course are not physically in the classroom, eCornell has offered opportunities for them to be virtually engaged with the course in a way that does support Cornell’s brand of teaching excellence,” he said.

Furthermore, the course will attract students who are interested in gaining particular knowledge about specific topics in a disciplined, thought-provoking way in their own time, according to Carroll. “[The course] combines traditional instruction with leading industry expert advice, applied in simulations of typical industry activities,” Carroll said. “Moreover, it encourages student interaction with one another and instructors on a near real time basis.”

According to Proulx, while this is similar to traditional Massive Open Online Courses in that it is free and online, it is different from MOOCs in several ways. Unlike most MOOCs, it the course has an option for a follow-up program that leads to a University-sanctioned credential.

Additionally, the course differs from a traditional MOOC because it has a “tight industry focus ... the active facilitation of the course by a learning team ... and the potential for a sustainable revenue model,” Proulx said.

Though the course is free of charge and open to the general public, it is not a part of the University’s overall MOOC strategy plan, according to Provost Kent Fuchs.

“The University is still considering the possibility of joining one of the large MOOC consortia, [a group of colleges partnering to offer MOOCs],” he said in an email. “We hope to have a decision by the end of February.”

Although the course contains elements of a MOOC, the online course is more focused, according to Proulx.

“In contrast to many MOOC efforts which have broader objectives ... [this] course is designed for marketing professionals in hospitality who are focusing on using new media channels such as social, mobile and search engines to enhance their property’s brand and grow revenue,” he said.

According to Proulx, if the University decides to begin to offer MOOCs, eCornell and the University should collaborate to enhance online learning offered through Cornell.

“I believe that should the University offer a range of MOOCs through one of the consortia, we can exchange ideas and lessons learned between what we are doing [at eCornell] and what might be happening in other parts of campus to continue to advance online learning at Cornell.”

Jonathan Swartz can be reached at jswartz@cornellsun.com.

NEWS

Profs Recall Muller’s ‘Foundational Work’ MULLER

Continued from page 1

Cornell], however, was his work in structuring and initiating the Einaudi Center for International Studies,” Lafeber said in a University press release.

Born in Hamburg, Germany, Muller immigrated to England, and then the U.S. after his father was released from a concentration camp in Nazi Germany. He became a naturalized citizen of the U.S. in 1949, according to a University press release.

After appearing in films as an actor during his teenage years, Muller graduated from the University of California, Los Angeles, in 1948 and then studied literature at Oxford University. He then served in the Army Signal Corps from 1954 to 1955 and completed his Ph.D. in government from Cornell in 1958, according to a University press release.

Muller became provost of Johns Hopkins University in 1971 and assumed the role of the president after only 10 months, according to The Associated Press. Muller served as president of the university for 18 years, during which time he fundraised millions of dollars and oversaw the growth of many major academic disciplines.

“When [Muller] became president, John Hopkins was in a pretty bad place [financially], just like Cornell. I talked to several people and they thought he did a splendid job as president of [John Hopkins],” Lowi said in an interview with The Sun. “They didn’t have any complaints, and I thought if a university president doesn’t have any complaints from the faculty, then that’s pretty successful.”

Alexa Davis can be reached at adavis@cornellsun.com.

‘Speak About It’ Prog.

Well-Received by Students SEXUAL VIOLENCE Continued from page 1

tion where we’d like to make this type of program mandatory for all students in orientation,” Jones said. “The program we had last week in January, we really used it to pilot a specific program. Now, student leaders and students who were at the program will have a chance to assess it.”

Although the University is

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M-F 9-5 for information about placing your ad in the

DINING GUIDE

still waiting for students to return their evaluations, administrators believe the program was well-received by the audience.

“I thought that the audience was engaged and it was very well-received. In orientation events, you can usually tell when it falls flat,” Weiss said.

Joseph Niczky can be reached at jniczky@cornellsun.com.

THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Thursday, January 24, 2013 5

OPINION

The Corne¬ Daily Sun Independent Since 1880 130TH EDITORIAL BOARD JUAN FORRER ’13 Editor in Chief

HELENE BEAUCHEMIN ’13

JEFF STEIN ’13

Business Manager

Managing Editor

RUBY PERLMUTTER ’13

JAMES CRITELLI ’13

Associate Editor

Advertising Manager

LAUREN A. RITTER ’13

JOSEPH STAEHLE ’13

Sports Editor

Web Editor

ANN NEWCOMB ’13

ESTHER HOFFMAN ’13

Design Editor

Photography Editor

ELIZA LaJOIE ’13

BRYAN CHAN ’15

ZACHARY ZAHOS ’15

DAVEEN KOH ’14

Multimedia Editor

Blogs Editor

Arts & Entertainment Editor

Arts & Entertainment Editor

ELIZABETH CAMUTI ’14

KATHARINE CLOSE ’14

City Editor

News Editor

AKANE OTANI ’14

REBECCA HARRIS ’14

News Editor

News Editor

ELIZABETH PROEHL ’13

DANIELLE B. ABADA ’14

Associate Multimedia Editor

Assistant Sports Editor

HALEY VELASCO ’15

SCOTT CHIUSANO ’15

Assistant Sports Editor

Assistant Sports Editor

REBECCA COOMBES ’14

AMANDA STEFANIK ’13

NICHOLAS ST. FLEUR ’13

SYDNEY RAMSDEN ’14

Assistant Design Editor

Assistant Design Editor

Science Editor

Not even a date could melt Morgan’s icy heart

R

ecently, Cornell’s bible that is The New York Times published an article about how the dating scene of our generation is hyper casual. It was mostly the same old article you read about “millennials” that is 60 percent bullshit and 40 percent true. I guess I still read it, so the NYT is doing its job.

On the other hand, I didn’t need another source telling me how sad my love life is. Thanks, NYT. Basically, it said exactly what you

heart freezes over with a harder layer of ice with each passing day at this school, but at least I didn’t date a bunch of losers.

We need to stop worrying about the means and start thinking about the end.

The person matters, not whether you ever went on a traditional date with them. Relationship lines are blurred in college. I could be romantically interested in my classmate, who is also my partner on a project, who is also my editor (not you, Liz, wink wink). Going on a

Dining Editor

JOSEPH VOKT ’14

MAGGIE HENRY ’14

Assistant Web Editor

Morgan Bookheimer

Outreach Coordinator

SEOJIN LEE ’14

AUSTIN KANG ’15

Marketing Manager

Assistant Advertising Manager

ERIKA G. WHITESTONE ’15

HANK BAO ’14

Social Media Manager

Online Advertising Manager

JESSICA YANG ’14

Behind The Time

KATERINA ATHANASIOU ’13

Human Resources Manager

Senior Editor

DAVID MARTEN ’14

JACOB KOSE ’13

Senior Editor

Senior Editor

JAMES RAINIS ’14

PATRICIO MARTÍNEZ ’13

Senior Editor

Senior Editor

DANIEL ROBBINS ’13 Senior Editor

WORKING ON TODAY ’S SUN EDITORS IN TRAINING EDITOR IN CHIEF MANAGING EDITOR ASSOCIATE EDITOR PHOTO NIGHT DESKERS ARTS DESKERS NEWS DESKERS SPORTS DESKERS DESIGN DESKERS PROOFERS

Editorial

Why Dating Is Not the Answer to Our Problems

David Marten ’14 Akane Otani ’14 Liz Camuti ’14 Ryan Landveter ’14 Matt Munsey ’14 Arielle Cruz ’15 Meredith Joyce ’14 Manu Rathore ’15 Jinjoo Lee ’14 Haley Velasco ’15 Hannah Kim ’14 Catherine Leung ’15 Garrett Ishida ’16 Rebecca Harris ’14 Kerry Close ’14

Ensuring Academic Neutrality at WCMC

SINCE SHE WAS NAMED DEAN OF WEILL CORNELL MEDICAL COLLEGE in Fall 2011, Dr. Laurie Glimcher has remained a director at two of the world’s largest pharmaceutical companies, drawing six-figure salaries annually from both corporations in addition to her academic salary. Some experts question whether such ties endanger the objectivity of research at the college. While there are no allegations that Glimcher has committed any wrongdoing, we join these experts in their concern that such connections — both personal and financial — have the potential to distort the neutrality of academic research.

Leading research experts from the nation’s top bioethics institutions have pointed out that such close ties to business can prove harmful to academic institutions in a variety of ways. Being personally and financially invested in these companies — in Glimcher’s case, pharmaceutical giant Bristol-Myers Squibb and the Waters Corporation, a laboratory equipment firm — can stifle academic integrity and hurt a college’s reputation for objective research. Even if the sum does not in fact distort research, just the appearance of impropriety is in itself a problem for Cornell.

The University has defended Glimcher’s ties to the pharmaceutical industry, stating that her other duties do not detract from her work as WCMC dean. In fact, President David Skorton has lauded her ties to these corporations, saying they align with WCMC’s long-term goal of dramatically expanding its partnerships with industry. We acknowledge the benefits of agreements between academia and the private sector, and know that these bonds can bring life-saving research advancements to market. However, we remain concerned that Glimcher’s personal financial stake in these companies’ success — in 2011 she received $259,500 in compensation and $1.5 million in deferred share units from Bristol-Myers Squibb alone — could lead her to put corporate profits before the best interests of the medical college’s students, faculty and patients.

Cornell has directed the formation of a panel to recommend a “conflicts management plan” to prevent any conflicts of interest between Glimcher and the medical industry. We commend Cornell’s careful attention to the issue. Yet such strong, personal connections between a top academic official and industry are dangerous.

We are not convinced that the University’s conflicts of interest panel will eradicate the possibility Glimcher will be influenced by her ulterior sources of income.

would expect: Our generation goes on fewer traditional dates and we’re unsatisfied as a result. But I wonder, are we actually unfulfilled with our dateless culture, or are just being made to feel that we should be? Some would say the answer lies in removing ourselves from the hook-up culture, as kind of cultural rebellion. I feel a certain pressure to want to go on dates that I can’t seem to separate from my actual feelings about the person who is asking me out on one. Do I like this person only because they are carrying out the traditional romantic ritual?

So, when I was asked to go on a date Monday night, I was supposed to figure this all out. As I was getting ready, I couldn’t decide if I was getting dressed for my night class, the date or to go out for syllabus night afterward. Clearly, I was mentally and emotionally confused about the whole thing.

The date ended up being completely fine. We went to dinner, it was snowing — it was all very romantic and traditional. Wouldn’t you know, a date turns out to be a great way to assess if you’re compatible with someone! For a moment, I thought, “Maybe the way our generation seeks partners is misguided.”

The next day, I assessed whether the experience was actually fulfilling. I came to the conclusion that it doesn’t really matter if you get to know someone on a date, or at a bar, or in a class or via technology. Whatever relationship model persists in a particular culture will have its pros and cons. Maybe at Cornell, we are emotionally guarded and have a penchant for drunken hook-ups, but we also spend less time in committed relationships just to avoid being alone. Sure, my

date with that person might be fun, but not crucial.

How many of us really know ourselves well enough to accurately assess if we are interested in someone anyway?

This is the greater problem in our and really any generation. We know ourselves in the way we know our social media brand, in the way we know our major (some of us), and in the way we know what groups we are a part of.

However, when it comes to the ebbs and flows of our personality and how to surf those waves with a partner, we are confused.

Honestly, the tools I use to assess my interest in romantic partners are pretty arbitrary: Am I attracted to them? Do they dress well? Do they have good taste in music? The things that seem to matter only scratch the surface of who a person is. I mean, I have multiple somewhat creepy crushes on people I’ve never even met. So, as a 20-something and a millennial when I read these stories about how wrong our hook-up culture is, it just seems so removed from the actual experience. There are a lot of things wrong with the traditional dating culture as well — for instance, why should the man be the one to pay — but that’s a different column. As college students, we’re lucky if we find “the one,” regardless of how we try to find them.

Over the course of Cornell’s history, no professor has ever come up with a formula to find love. But here’s to hoping The New York Times covers it if they ever do.

Morgan Bookheimer is a senior in the College of Human Ecology. She may be reached at mbookheimer@cornellsun.com.

Behind the Time appears alternate Thursdays this semester.

SUBMIT YOUR LETTERS Continue the conversation by sending a letter to the editor to opinion@cornellsun.com.

Letters should be in response to any recent Sun news article, column, arts piece or editorial. They should be no longer than 250 words in length.

THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Thursday, January 24, 2013 7

OPINION

T

Planes,Trains and Sex on Wheels

here is a problem with today’s sexually active youth. We aren’t adventurous enough. I don’t mean this in the Kama Sutra, let's-try having-sex-while-upside-down-balancing -on-one-hand sort of adventurous, but rather the let’s have sex on top of a moving train sort of adventurous.

Now some of you might be thinking: “But Jimothy! You haven’t even done that and you've done everything.”

That’s where you'd be wrong. Because I have, and the experience derailed all of my expectations on what sex could be like. However, it took a lot of preparation and no small amount of luck. As a result, I am legally obligated to not recommend that readers try it, even though I totally do.

However, I know that not all of you have access to trains, so I’ve compiled a list, in order of difficulty, of vehicles that you should probably try to have sex in or on. If I haven’t listed your preposition of choice it's because either a) it’s not exciting or b) I can’t comprehend how you could actually do it.

Car (In: Novice, On: Intermediate)

Now everyone has done this, but that doesn’t mean it needs to be the standard crampedin-the-backseathope-to-God-noone-pulls-up-next-

S

to-you sort of sex. We can spice it up!

In honor of the freshly-fallen snow, try locking your steering wheel to the right and having sex while doing craaazzzy donuts in an empty parking lot. If you’re on top of the car, try ghost-riding it (Note: this is different from the tantric sex act, “ghost riding the dick”).

Train (In: Novice, On: Master)

On face, trains are deceptively similar to cars: There are seats, they can be stationary, Scottish people have been known to spot them. The kicker, though, is that there are other people.

Using the bathroom is an option, but there’s that fear that you might fall through the hole in the toilet onto the tracks. Which is probably really kinky, but out of the purview of this particular column. I would suggest taking the very early or late commuter trains because there are no people.

On top is tricky; I’m not going to lie. You need a willing partner, no fear of death (or perhaps, fear of death), 15 meters of rope and a slow-moving commuter rail train (preferably Czech).

Bribe your way up top as the train nears the station (since it’ll be slowing down), tie yourself down to the maintenance rails on top, do your thing, get off before any of the people in the station notice there are two half-naked people on top of the train.

Horse (On: Intermediate)

Use the natural bouncing motion to your advantage. Going bareback is hard, but more impressive. I once saw someone do a handstand on a horse, so I imagine that having sex on one is similar in difficulty.

Airplane (In: Intermediate, On: Master)

Pro tip: You cannot get kicked off of

dirty in one gets my respect. Now, having sex on a canoe ... That is another matter entirely. The only way I can imagine this working is having two couples on either edge of the canoe humping at the same time in order to keep the canoe from tipping.

If you’re interested in either of the above canoodling scenarios, drop me a line. Someone out there has got to

Jimothy Singh Quest for the Perfect Tale a moving airplane, so the worst the flight attendants could do is less-thanpolitely ask you to return to your seat.

Unless you’re on top of the moving airplane, but at that point, you probably have other problems.

Canoe (In: Master, On: The One)

I have a hard enough time sitting in a canoe worrying about not tipping over and being devoured by the Kraken, let alone copulating in one (Copulation Canoe is now the name of my Sea Level Club canoe charter service). Thus, anyone who can do the

have a lake fetish.

Spaceship (N/A)

People who can get it on in a spaceship do not read school newspapers.

They’re off doing things more awesome than we mortals can comprehend.

Because seriously: zero-gravity boobs.

Wuuuut.

Jimothy Singh is a senior in the College of Arts and Sciences.

He may be reached at jsingh@cornellsun.com. Quest for the Perfect Tale appears alternate Thursdays this semester.

First in Command

ociety imposes roles of dominance and roles of submission on people in their everyday interactions with one another. Nearly every meeting comes with a predetermined ranking. For instance, the barista at Starbucks wants to make your drink just the way you like it because she is there to serve. Similarly, you are at Cornell, in part, to impress professors with your hard work. When you meet any random individual at a party, an instant determination of the dominant and submissive individual is established when one person refuses to smile back or disregards a question posed to him or her by the other. Usually, these first measures of dominance and submission carry into later

Mona G. Erotic Epiphanies interactions between the two people. It usually takes a drastic move to change these roles, once firmly established. Yet, there is a way to make waves in the pool of power struggles.

Get someone in bed with you and strip him or her down to his or her tighty-whities, then decide who’s on top. You might be surprised by the drastic changes in the dynamic.

Everyone wants to be dominated as well as to feel dominant. We have it in us to be the giver and to be the taker, even if the taker usually just gives and gives, then gives more in the morning. A big burly man would most definitely pop a stiff one just thinking about a little chick climbing on top of him, pulling his huge arms over his head (or as far as they will go, those damn trapezoidal muscles) and telling him that he is in for a ride. Or, more accurately, he is about to be ridden. As much as he prizes being

in charge, he looks forward to being with someone who can get him begging.

I am a prime example of a person who desires both ends of the domination spectrum when I get it on. My close friends know that I have a thing for innocent types, those who are inexperienced but ready and overly willing to learn from a dedicated teacher. I like the feeling of overwhelming a boy with intense sexual energy. I always think back to my middle school boyfriend and the time I granted him his first glimpse of boobies. His eyes went wide and his mouth curled into a slight grin as I sat on top of him and slowly removed my shirt and bra, revealing my new pubescent developments to their first suitor. It was as if I had him at “nipple.” Each time after that, I was the one on top. I later broke up with him and watched him beg me to take him back. The energy of the bedroom is powerful nyet mysterious. Use it wisely.

To feel true domination, there must be a sense of fear involved. When you lose control of a situation completely, fear begins to brew. When you don’t know at all what comes next, anticipation intensifies. You become absorbed by the other’s bedroom initiatives. You then have nothing left to do but lay back and allow yourself to be taken, without resistance, fully giving in. Has anyone ever held down your arms with his or her knees, pulled your hair and told you to shut up after each sentence you utter? Has anyone ever forced you to scream, “Fuck me!” louder and louder before they will fulfill you? Has anyone ever grabbed your whole body, flipped you over, held your legs together with one hand and then grabbed your ass with the other while thrusting himself inside of you? Well, if not, then let me tell

you: It’s hot. One person usually just gets this animalistic energy that brews up during intercourse or foreplay. Let them do their thing, even if their typical role is that of a spectator. They could surprise you with a jolt of kinkiness.

Although it may be the ultimate domination there is no need for freaky sex toys, ropes or chains joining you in bed.

By encouraging domination, I am not claiming that all women have it in them to be a dominatrix, Van der Sex style, complete with whip, blindfold and black leather high-heeled boots with matching miniskirt and bra. Men do not need to be blessed with baseball size biceps and a deep voice to make their women succumb (although that deep voice whispering naughty nothings in my ear doesn’t hurt my libido). We all have it in us to be naughty and in control in the bedroom, even if we like to present ourselves as sweet and respectable in all other situations. We all know the sexy librarian. It is the most sexy when a normally very shy and proper person becomes a tiger under the sheets (or in the shower, on my desk chair or on the kitchen table).

It is highly important to our development as adults to experience dominance over one another. It is good to practice achieving domination from a place of inferiority, not just in the bedroom but in other aspects of our lives. It will certainly help us as college students when we enter the workplace as lowly interns, analysts and assistants.

Although tough, it is not impossible to change dominance roles in real life. But our sex lives are the safest place to experiment, like working under a hood in the chem lab. If we are ever going to get places in life, we must pull ourselves out from under the weight of societal rank. We must be able to shake up our worlds enough so that our employer may experience life on the bottom, looking up at our pretty faces.

Mona G. is a senior in the College of Agriculture and Life Sciences.

She may be reached at monag@cornellsun.com. Erotic Epiphanies appears alternate Thursdays this semester.

8 THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Thursday, January 24, 2013

DINING GUIDE

The Corne¬ Daily Sun

Dining Guide

Your source for good food

By ZACHARY SIEGEL

What to Eat in Another World

Sun Staff Writer

I had the opportunity to travel to China this winter break, and I was exposed to the complex cuisine of the diverse country. The Chinese food we all know and love — dare I say, “American Chinese food” — often masks the heterogeneity of China’s regional culinary traditions, despite how tasty and convenient our favorite dishes may be. Hunan, Cantonese and Zhejiang food each bring something very different to the table.

One ingredient in particular, the Szechuan peppercorn, symbolizes our misunderstanding of Chinese cuisine and the difference between an authentic dish and our oversimplified take-out.

For those who have never tried these enigmatic peppercorns, they numb your taste buds and leave a peppery, spicy, sour flavor lingering on your tongue. The chemical sensation feels similar to a very mild electric current constantly running through your mouth. It’s weird — really unlike any other culinary ingredient, and it takes some getting used to. But after a few bites, I found myself infatuated with the unique effects of these peppercorns and unable to resist the allure of Szechuan cuisine.

The Chinese call the sensation ma la, which translates as numbing and spicy. Ma la is a hallmark of the Szechuan region in the southwest of the country, but the peppercorns are typically left out of dishes found in the surrounding regions. A Szechuan broth-based stew known as a hot pot teems with ma la, creating a dish incredibly different than the hot pots of the surrounding provinces of China. Chinese cuisine’s regional variation, often neglected in America, is in fact a key aspect of Chinese cuisine.

Szechuan peppercorns repre-

sent all of the problems with the general American interpretation of Chinese food; it’s use departs from the emphasis on saccharine, crowd-pleasing, oily dishes that dominate our menus. Sale of the ingredient was banned from the United States from 1968 through 2005, and thus American palates have been denied the distinct pleasure of true Szechuan flavor.

“But sesame chicken and beef with broccoli are so good,” you may point out; “American Chinese food may not be exactly authentic but it’s a delicious and familiar choice to fill me up for dinner.”

However valid that may be, taking a culinary risk can yield great rewards. I crave those established dishes as much as anyone, but failure to explore the varieties of Chinese cookery is like eating with your head in the sand. You’re missing out on something exciting.

Granted, it’s not so bad to keep ordering in from Apollo or Jade Garden for dinner. I love American Chinese food, as fraudulent as it may be. But for those seeking a new culinary experience, adventures await in Chinese regional cuisine.

For those who love intense spice, Hunan food is known for its heat. Many Cantonese dishes from southern China can be found on American menus, but the region offers far more than the hackneyed versions of the food we order in.

The spices of India are common in western China, creating some dishes that I would never have thought I would see in a Chinese restaurant. And, of course, Szechuan serves up the puzzle of ma la. Kind of like those extra-hot Buffalo wings you love despite the pain they assault you with, a dish swarming with Szechuan peppercorns will keep you eating more because the only momentary escape from the grip on your tongue is to shove more food

ZACHARY SIEGEL / SUN STAFF WRITER

in your mouth.

Not all authentic Chinese dishes share the appeal of an exciting new approach to the cuisine. Many are unapologetically traditional and would likely not bode well across the Pacific.

Stewed soft shell turtle with beef testes and bull genitals — on the menu of my first meal in China — failed to seduce my adventurous side. I was excited to try new

flavors and to eat genuine Chinese food, but I drew the line somewhere before two parts of a bovine penis accompanying turtle meat on my plate.

Visiting China was eye-opening, but, most importantly for me, it was also a culinary experience (mouth-opening, if you will). I encourage everyone to order something wholly unfamiliar next time you eat in a Chinese restaurant, or

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any restaurant for that matter. The authentic dishes are often there, waiting to be ordered by a daring American. You may find a flavor combination that you never expected.

Or, it may feel like someone is forcibly holding a battery to your pepper-filled taste buds. Either way, I think you will like it.

Zachary Siegel can be reached at zsiegel@cornellsun.com.

THE HEIGHTS CAFÉ and GRILL

Ithaca’s Best-Kept Secret for Over Seventeen Years.

The Heights Café and Grill Community Corners • 903 Hanshaw Road, Ithaca, NY 14850 257-4144 • www.heightscafe.com Cocktails, Lunch, Dinner • Private dining room available Reservations suggested

A&E

Thursday, January 24, 2013 | The Corne¬ Daily Sun | 9

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT A$AP Rocky LONG.LIVE.A$AP Polo Grounds, RCA Records

BSam Bromer

A$AP Rocky may be from Harlem — his given name is Rakim Meyers, in a nod to Wu-Tang legend Rakim — but listening to Long.Live.A$AP, the much-hyped 24year-old’s debut album, you wouldn’t know it. The album, released only a year after his critically acclaimed mixtape, draws influence from sources both within and thoroughly removed from the world of hip-hop.

His music draws on Houston’s oozy chopped-andscrewed sounds, the confident, smooth flow of California gangster rap, and lyrical gymnastics that can clearly be traced to hip-hop staples like UGK. In fact, with a few exceptions, like the choppy string-based loop of the album’s star-studded climax, “1train,” a homage to Wu-Tang Clan and the other legends of A$AP’s hometown, that New York sound is unrecognizable here.

A$AP travels far from his roots, bringing in producers that are known for their abilities to circumvent genre restrictions, like Danger Mouse and Skrillex, as well as Florence Welch, of Florence + the Machines. Welch seems somewhat out of place on this album that is colored with lyrical content worn out by genre-clichés, which is especially the case on the catchy but ultimately meaningless track “PMW” (you can guess what the acronym stands for).

Despite Long.Live.A$AP’s refreshing genre-and-geo-

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graphic mishmash, unlike the other recent highly anticipated hip hop releases like Kendrick Lamar’s good kid, m.A.A.d. city, A$AP sometimes seems satisfied with the status-quo of bragadocious, catchy lyrics and surefire club hits that lack the substance to make this a truly substantial release. The intention of the album’s hit second single, “Fuckin’ Problems,” for example, is clear: there is no secondary motive behind the lascivious claims of debauchery.

Other times, though, A$AP reveals a subtle sense of self-deprecation that is a welcome change from the album’s often brainless premises. On one of the most promising tracks, “LVL,” A$AP employs one of his many aliases, “Mr. Pistol Popper,” over a groovy, trip-hoppy beat produced by Clams Casino, as he coolly utters, “fuck a copper.” It isn’t clear whether this is coming from the mind of his ultra-ghetto alter ego or from A$AP himself, but this lack of clarity adds some much-needed ambiguity to lyricism that is often in need of it. However, “LVL” is the exception. Most of the time, A$AP is unambitious and seemingly content to achieve success in his lyrical comfort zone rather than trying to find any true clarity or meaning through his experiences.

In all fairness, though, A$AP’s rise to fame was nearly unprecedented. He has risen to fame in an era where rappers’, and musicians in general, rise to stardom is so

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rapid that there’s very little time to reflect on the journey they took to get there. It seems that A$AP’s nearinstantaneous transition from the streets of New York to his current sublime lifestyle has left him bereft of a strong identity or any real ability to reflect deeply upon his past. As he nostalgically reflects in the album’s finale, “Suddenly,” he has gone “from ugly to comfortably … suddenly.”

Yet, scattered throughout the album there are hints that he has the potential to move beyond the played-out hit-making rhymes, be more than this album suggests, and take on a more serious role in the hip-hop community. In “Hell,” another impressive Clams Casino-produced track featuring Santigold, A$AP declares, “heaven need a villain just like hell need a newer idol.” On “1train,” he claims to feel like “a villain or a missionary.”

These juxtaposing lyrics cut to the heart of A$AP’s real issue: will he be tempted by the beckoning of highgrossing hits and “lightweight” rapping, or will he take the high road to success through a search for something more? Only time will tell, but for now, this album, while catchy, well-produced and impressively wide-ranging on the production side, falls short.

Sam Bromer is a freshman in the College of Arts and Sciences.

He can be contacted at sbromer@cornellsun.edu.

HELLO GOVNA’!

PHOTOS COURTESY OF GOVERNORSBALLMUSICFESTIVAL.COM

BY ARIELLE CRUZ Sun Staff Writer

Yesterday, something beautiful came across my Facebook feed. It was brightly colored, yet unassuming. I expected nothing from this small block of text that I passed by on my leisurely scroll. Another festival announcement for a show I probably wouldn’t get to go to. I clicked and scanned anyway. Better to look at this than begin my first assigned readings of the year. Blurgh.

This was no ordinary festival announcement. It was an announcement more glorious than I could imagine. It was the list for the Governors Ball. A festival that last year had been mildly exciting -- but not quite exciting enough to blow 200 dollars on -- had transformed into the lineup of all east coast concert lineups. Or, as my roommate put it ever so succinctly, “Holy shit.”

The official lineup for Governor’s Ball in New York City was released online on Tuesday. The festival, which takes place each year on Randall’s Island in early June, may be far away, but the general excitement surrounding it has made all of the time between then and now seem insignificant.

Let me put my excitement in perspective.

Last year the big headliners were Passion Pit, Duck Sauce, Chromeo, Beck, Modest Mouse and Explosions in the Sky. Those were the biggest names on there. One of them has only one recognizable song in its arsenal, “Barbara Streisand.” This year’s festival will be headlined by Kanye West, Kings of Leon and one more big name that has yet to be announced.

The full list includes the artists behind at least five of the top 20 albums of 2012 on most major yearly rankings. Last year’s artists would have landed on the middle tier of this year’s supped-up lineup at most.

Moving from a two day event with about 20 artists to a three day extravaganza with over 60 acts, the Governor’s Ball has graduated from another blip on the summer festival radar to what is sure to be a major and well attended concert of 2013.

What is even better than this list of names, you ask? That the festival is taking place only five hours away from our campus, and only about 20 minutes to an hour from where most Cornellians hail from, the Tri-State Area.

Although the artist selections for Governors Ball are not quite as forward-thinking as some of the west coast festivals like Coachella, a festival that has a knack for recognizing talent far ahead of the general public, the Gov Ball staff did develop a cache of artists

filled with recent up-and-comers. Some of which, like Feist, Azealia Banks and The Vaccines, look as though they were hand picked off of Coachella’s past lineups. But certainly not all.

Beach House and Dirty Projectors who produced two of the Cornell Daily Sun’s top albums of the year and the Lumineers will be making appearances in our lovely big apple. I take a little pride in that.

If fingers crossed I am able to attend, one of the shows I will literally fight people to get to is Kendrick Lamar. I can think of nothing better than blissfully gangster rapping along to good kid, m.A.A.d city as awkwardly and enthusiastically as only a white girl from Westchester can. I spent half of my car rides during winter break sitting with friends, turning Lamar’s music up and dancing like a complete G. I got some weird looks. Worth it.

Alt-J will be a must. The British band released its first full length album, An Awesome Wave, was released last year and won the prestigious Mercury prize, past winners of which include PJ Harvey, The xx (another Gov Ball attendee) and Franz Ferdinand, to name a few.

The band earned it. The energetic and eclectic beats guided by the smooth and commanding voice of Joe Newman cast a power-

ful aura that made me want to bask in it forever.

Beach House’s Bloom, Best Coast’s The Only Place and Grizzly Bear’s Shields were incredibly well received last year, and The xx, Of Monsters and Men and Local Natives have created some great music over the past years that have been popularly sampled and added to film and T.V. soundtracks like 90210.

Kanye West is an obvious choice. Cocky or not, he is amazing. Maybe we’ll spot a very pregnant Kardashian in his midst. Or the festival will get a visit from his good friend, and Scarsdale dweller Jay-Z ... Well, I can dream can’t I? I wish I had room to talk about the Vaccines, Azealia Banks, Nas, and Japandroids. But, alas you will have to research for yourself, good readers.

New York, we officially have a festival we can be proud of (and gloat about a little), an event that may cause as much travel congestion as a presidential visit. An ode to the best of 2012, and hopefully an indicator of more good to come, the Governors Ball is a place that all music lovers should try to get to this June.

Arielle Cruz is a sophomore in the College of Agricultural and Life Sciences. She can be reached at acruz@cornellsun.com.

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

A&E

10 | The Corne¬ Daily Sun | Thursday, January 24, 2013 MEREDITH JOYCE Sun Staff Writer

had to watch films to find the clocks — something that doesn’t exactly catch the untrained eye. This arduous process requires an almost uncanny amount of attention to detail. In one scene, the clock is behind the receptionist as a man comes to meet a woman at a bar. In another scene, there is a brief shot of a watch in the middle of a drug deal. Sometimes the clock is the focus of the shot and sometimes it’s just another prop.

Watching The Clock, I was completely captivated. What should have been tedious, long and time consuming was incredibly interesting, clever and thought-provoking.

As the clock moved each minute, I felt that I was peeling away more of the mystery of ubiquitous time.

No still or minute does the entire piece justice. As a viewer, I felt like I was at once paying attention to the present scene and to the entire concept of the film. I was interested to see the next clip but I was also searching for the clock in the frame.

What I most enjoyed about The Clock is that it does not reveal, or even vaguely reference, its maker. It’s a piece meant to make you sit and think, providing a landscape upon which a viewer can ruminate about time, what it means and where it is, or if it even is. Although it leaves the viewer with more questions than answers, it’s successful in putting time on the human level.

The Clock is almost too clever. It has a concept you just need to explain to others and a depth that will keep you thinking for a long time. It’s timeless. Take a minute or 24 hours. See it.

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IN

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SITT

Time is not something we spend too much time thinking about. Where is it? Can we control it? On New Year’s Eve at 5 p.m., as the Museum of Modern Arm officially closed, The Clock started. It was especially appropriate given that New Year’s is one of the only times that we collectively celebrate time, that vaguely defined and vastly complicated human construct. It turns out that sitting through time might be the most interesting way to pass it.

The Clock, Christian Marclay’s latest avant-garde cinematic experience, is interesting both in concept and in theaters. The “film” is actually a montage of 24 hours of movie footage, all ripped from the past 100 years of film history. There are scenes from French, Italian and American movies — even High School Musical makes an appearance. What ties the entire film together is clocks. Marclay found shots from films where clocks were somewhere in the frame, whether prominent or hidden, from every single minute of the day, and ordered those shots in such a way that the seconds, minutes and hours are never altered or skipped. In the end, this conglomeration of unrelated shots comes to form a 24-hour day. In essence, Marclay’s work is simultaneously free from the constraints of a linear — or rational — storyline and bound by the constraints of time itself.

Born in California, raised in Switzerland, educated in American art schools and based in Manhattan and London, Marclay is known for his challenging and experimental works, which often combine sounds, noise, video and film into one indefinable genre. His work constantly

pushs the boundaries of the art world, even as it blurs the lines between different mediums. Starting as a D.J. in the punk rock scene of the 1970s, Marclay has worked on visual art for museums around the world. However, The Clock is his most ambitious work yet.

COURTESY OF CHRISTIAN MARCLAY

Capturing time takes a lot of time. To make this piece, Marclay spent three years finding and cutting the film’s thousands of excerpts. With the help of Final Cut Pro, he

Meredith Joyce is a junior in the School of Industrial and Labor Relations. She can be reached at mjoyce@cornellsun.com.

The Four Crowds of NYC Concert Culture

H

aving been trampled on by many a sloshed New Yorker, I’ve come to know the New York City concert scene all too intimately. Whether it’s the Knitting Factory, Le Poisson Rouge or even Terminal 5 (shudder appropriately), no venue can evade the necessary evils of concert culture. Of course, that entails $15 Bud Lights (I’m looking at you, Gramercy Theater), endless delays of “technical difficulties” and a species specific to the island, the Manhattanite try-hard. When each aforementioned ingredient enters into a potent slurry (myself caught in the middle), what results is a wonderfully deplorable dialogue that sounds, strangely, not unlike unaired portions of an HBO’s Girls script. It’s 50 percent Texts From Last Night, 50 percent Betches Love This, and 100 percent shameless amusement. If there was a @GSElevator for the pretentious hipster fucks that “don’t believe in labels” at, like, a Sleigh Bells concert, this would be the shit that came out of their mouths. Here are some of the real-life overheard lines that so perfectly represent four crowds you’ll meet at any music venue in the City.

THE VIP “I’m press.”

— The press, in response to every question ever asked.

You know that joke about vegans? “How do you know if someone is vegan? Don’t worry, they’ll tell you.”

Yeah, that pretty much sums up the press. They like to huddle in little groups next to the entrance lines for the mere pedestrian concertgoers and often proclaim to possess the hearing powers of, like, Ray Charles. They wear their press badges and DSLRs proudly on their chests like some type of emblem on their superhero costumes (read: uniform of chucks and plaid) and vehemently refuse to dance during sets. They get to pee in the special air-conditioned toilets and score free

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

merch from all the PR peeps trying to smooze them. Every fourth word out of their mouth is “press,” even if they’re just some loser with a tiny radio show at a state college — ouch! But, I tell you, even when I am press at a concert, I still feel like somebody’s lame cousin they had to invite to the school dance, or something. And then when I’m not press, I can’t help but be attacked by the pervasive VIP ethos that forces me to watch these badge-bearing bitches jaunt off to their majestic porcelain commodes as I wait in line for the sodden Porta Potties. Talk about the Haves and the Have-Nots.

THE DRUNK THERAPIST “We understand each other on SUCH a deep level because we both grew up with the same abandonment issues — and by that I mean the economy and our moms.”

— Girl who “so totally almost went to art school” I met this girl standing in line for Ghostface Killah, and I’d already been listening to her conversation for half an hour before she started playing therapist to her friend. Standing there, psychoanalyzing her as she tried to psychoanalyze her friend doesn’t make me any better of a person, but these pseudo-psychologists are such easy targets.

Any venue south of 14th street will be crawling with these slurring girls who can’t get

Alice Wang Profanity Prayers over themselves but still say things like, “He’s just someone who can’t get over himself.”

ANYBODY FROM BROOKLYN “Ross just asked me to model for his project.

It’s like a cult-themed photoshoot, so they’ll cover me in blood standing naked in the forest, and my boyfriend’s doing the lights. You

ZANDER ABRANOWICZ / SUN STAFF ILLUSTRATOR

should so totally come model too ‘cause you’re like skinny in a way that looks like you just have a fast metabolism even though I know you just never really eat.”

— Typical passive aggressive Williamsburg girl I overheard this gem at the hipster mecca known as the Glasslands Gallery, waiting for the set to start. The crowd was packed with the art-house type, half the girls wearing vampy all-black outfits with red lipstick and half the guys rocking beanies in 75-degree weather. When I overheard this line, it sounded so stereotypically Brooklyn that it almost seemed scripted from a “Shit Brooklyn Girls Say” skit. Alas, these people truly exist, and as I waded my way through a crowd of graphic design interns holding a craft beer in one hand and an iPhone paid by their daddy in the other, I suddenly felt the irony of it all: How can so many people trying to be so different end up all the same?

-Girl who has no idea what Norman Mailer looks like “Now all he needs is a ukulele!”

-Same girl who pretends to read Norman Mailer also has no idea what a ukulele sounds like These guys are the worst because not only do they like to insert the word “literally” in places it doesn’t belong, but they also like to get into very loud belligerent arguments about, like, the importance of social media in catalyzing the uprisings of the Arab Spring.

There’s nothing worse than the words “Hosni Mubarak” to kill the buzz of a sweet set. Oddly, this crowd of pseudos exists largely downtown. Midtown and above, instead of twats trying to outsmart each other, you get punks trying to out-yuppie each other and a lot of old dudes taking out hot younger women. Also notable: The higher the level of pseudo-intelligence, the worse the dance skills.

THE PSEUDO-INTELLECTUALS Referring to Hamilton Leithauser, vocals for The Walkmen: “He looks like Norman Mailer!”

Alice Wang is a sophomore in the Colleges of Arts and Sciences. She can be reached at awang@cornellsun.com. Profanity Prayers appears alternate Thursdays.

THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Thursday, November 29, 2012 11

COMICS AND PUZZLES

Los Angeles Times Daily Crossword Puzzle Edited by Rich Norris and Joyce Nichols Lewis

ACROSS 1 Polynesian tongue 6 Early Democrat’s foe 10 Diary closer 14 Pump name 15 Premoistened cloth 16 Still-life subject 17 Luminous Spanish king?

19 Practitioner of meditation 20 Lassie’s “In a pig’s eye!”

21 Monopolize 22 Seed source of omega-3 23 Back-of-the-book items 27 Bloodhound’s 48-Across 29 Chart containing only threes?

31 Salt’s “Halt!”

35 Flat hat 36 Like a comics Pea? 37 Close tightly, as one’s hand 38 Groggy response 40 “Welcome to Maui!”

42 Seldom seen, to Seneca 43 Grinch portrayer 45 Myrna’s “Thin Man” role 47 KoKo or YumYum, in Lilian Jackson Braun mysteries 48 Plus 49 Turkish sty leader?

51 Bulldogs’ home 53 Seven-time MLB All-Star Soriano 54 Fair 57 Sighing sounds 59 Consume 60 Bee’s charge 61 Rock in actress Susan’s path, perhaps?

66 Hon 67 Lang of Smallville 68 “Monster” (2003) co-star 69 Like many LAX flights 70 First place?

71 Trap

DOWN 1 Large body of eau 2 Dismiss 3 Acne treatment brand 4 Longtime “60 Minutes” pundit 5 Babies 6 Teens conflict, briefly 7 Up in the air 8 Droid alternative 9 Day one, informally 10 Casual greeting craze?

11 One who might get caught off base 12 Company with a hedgehog mascot 13 __ fixe 18 Took out in handcuffs, say 23 1971 prison riot site 24 Works on stage 25 Expresses doubts 26 Biblical brother 28 ESPN reporter Paolantonio 30 Sierra __ 32 Analgesic brand

33 Skinny types 34 “Oh, really?”

37 Itinerant Yuletide singer 39 How owls know when mice are bluffing?

41 Georgetown player 44 LAX posting 46 Business matters 49 Execute, in old France

50 Deep-dish comfort food 52 Soup dispenser 54 Author Picoult 55 Supported by 56 Bank deposit 58 Last word on New Year’s Eve? 62 Brown in a bed 63 Loan no.

64 Old French coin 65 Upholsterer’s target

ANSWER TO PREVIOUS PUZZLE:

xwordeditor@aol.com

By Michael Sharp (c)2013 Tribune Media Services, Inc.

Doonesbury

Mr. Gnu

Piled Higher and Deeper

01/24/13

Sun Sudoku Puzzle #I over 909 ZEBRA HAND

www.cornellsun.com

T H E

Fill in the empty cells, one number in each, so that each column, row, and region contains the numbers 1-9 exactly once.

Each number in the solution therefore occurs only once in each of the three “directions,” hence the “single numbers” implied by the puzzle’s name.

(Rules from wikipedia.org/wiki /Sudoku)

01/24/13

by Garry Trudeau

D A I L Y

Travis Dandro

by Jorge Cham

S U N www.cornellsun.com

12 THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Thursday, January 24, 2013

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More than just the news.

The Corne¬ Daily Sun

SPORTS

Cornell Searches For Ivy Win SWIMMING & DIVING Continued from page 16

develop as it approaches the Ivy League Championships.

Looking forward, the Red will have its final regular season Ivy League meet on Feb. 2nd against Brown. Both the men’s and women’s teams hope to end their regular season on a high note and have a strong positive momentum going into the championship season.

“Our final dual meet against Brown will be a meet that we can definitely win if we focus,” O’Neil said.

“What's important for us all to remember is that although we all have our own individual events, swimming and diving is a team sport. If we support each other and remain unified as a team, Brown will have a hard time beating us.”

Jibrine said she hopes this season’s competition against Brown follows the success of last season’s meeting between the two teams.

“Last year we were victorious against Brown, so the team is motivated to bring in another win against them this year,” she said. “Also, since the Brown Meet is only a couple weeks away from the Ivy League Championships, the team will be focused on swimming as fast as possible to be in good standing going into the Championship.”

With only a month and a half left in this year’s season, both the men’s and women’s swimming and diving teams look to build momentum going into the team’s final races. The team looks for its first Ivy League win over Brown.

“I have a good feeling about these last few weeks. We are a mentally strong team and I think we have a chance to perform extremely well at our final two meets,” O’Neil said.

John McGrorty can be reached at jmcgrorty@cornellsun.com.

www.cornellsun.com

THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Thursday, January 24, 2013 13

14 THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Thursday, January 24, 2013

THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Thursday, January 24, 2013 15

SPORTS

En garde

OLIVER KLIEWE / SUN SENIOR PHOTOGRAPHER

This Saturday, the Cornell women’s fencing team will travel to Temple University to compete in the Philadelphia Invitational, the last tournament before the Ivy League Championship. The Red (12-1, 0-0) are riding the momentum that was started during a very successful fall season, in which the team was only defeated once, by No. 6 St. John’s — who placed 3rd in last year’s national championship. The Philadelphia Invitational will feature No. 8 Northwestern, No. 9 Temple and No. 10 Duke — three talented squads who will put the Red to the test.

Cornell Prepares for Terrier Invite at B.U. TRACK & FIELD

Continued from page 16

-ers,” he said. “Every time I jump, I compete with myself and the bar. Even though sometimes I don’t win against the bar, it’s a constant war.”

Next up for the Red is the Terrier Invite at Boston University this weekend.

Women’s head coach Rich Bowman said the Red will have the opportunity to compete against other Ivy teams that it does not usually face during the course of a regular season before the Heps.

“We like our depth,” Bowman said. “The more people we can get [competing], the better we’ll get. We’ve a lot of team members that can compete and contribute.

They’ve been great up to this point and we’ve got a long way to go.”

The CorneDaily Sun

Taylor said he is asking the team to trust individual abilities to contribute to a team win this weekend.

“I think fear is a limiting factor for athletes,” he said.

“And for most kids at Cornell, it’s the fear of failure, than the fear of success. Really putting yourself out there in a situation where you have the opportunity to fail is a big thing. I hope that they overcome their fears.”

Both coaches said that the track at BU is a fast one, which will probably affect how the Cornell runners compete.

“I’m excited because it’s one of the fastest tracks around,” junior sprinter Ebolutalese Airewele said. “It’ll be nice to see if I can run all events that I want to run for the Heps in this meet.”

Juan Carlos Toledo can be reached at jtoledo@cornellsun.com.

The Corne¬ Daily Sun

Sports

THURSDAY JANUARY 24, 2013

16

MEN’S ICE HOCKEY

Bardreau Ends Season Early After Neck Fracture for RPI. Bardreau sat out for just one shift, but returned to finish the rest of the game against the Engineers despite Saturday night ended with a win for being serously injured.

“That was the was the scariest part Cornell against Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute, 3-2, in a grudge match about it. You never know, one more between the two competitors. But it hit to the back again [and] he could also ended with a season-ending injury have been paralyzed,” said sophomore for sophomore forward Cole Bardreau. forward John McCarron. “And we An MRI later revealed that thank God . . . that he only has to Bardreau fractured his neck due to the wear a brace and we’re happy with force of the hit — he was later seen on that. He got pretty lucky.”

The loss of Bardreau will be signifiTuesday, watching practice from the cant for the Red, “Growing up, you were always taught [that] when but junior teamDustin somebody gets wronged on your team, you’ve got to mate Mowrey will step take care of it, so I think our team knew that ... in and take his Unfortunately it’s college hockey. You’re not allowed place for the rest of season in the to fight really, but that kid knows what’s coming for the front for the Red. him. ” Despite Bardreau’s injury, the Cornell John McCarron players said that they have his back.

“Growing up, you were always sideline, while wearing a neck brace.

“He’s a lucky human being. He’s a taught [that] when somebody gets very lucky kid. He had no pain or any- wronged on your team you’ve got to thing like that throughout the course take care of it, so I think our team of the game — no indication — but knew that. I was there on the ice. I in for [Bardreau]. he’s a tough kid,” head coach Mike stepped Unfortunately it’s college hockey — Schafer ’86 said.

At 9:34 of the first period on you’re not allowed to fight really, but Saturday, Bardreau was hit into the that kid knows what’s coming for him. boards from behind by RPI’s Greg No threatening or anything, maybe Burgdoerfer, which resulted a five- [Burgdoerfer] didn’t mean to do it, but minute major and a game misconduct he knows he did something wrong,”

By HALEY VELASCO

Sun Assistant Sports Editor

OLIVER KLIEWE / SUN SENIOR PHOTOGRAPHER

Down for the count | During the game agaist Rensselaer Polytechnnic Institute on Saturday, sophomore forward Cole Bardreau suffered a neck fracture after being thrown into the boards, putting an end to the rest of his season with the Red. McCarron said.

Bardreau returned to the Red a few weeks ago, after being part of the U.S.’ gold medal win at the Junior World Championships in Russia after defeating Sweden in the finals.

“It’s unfortunate for the young man to be so high with the World Junior [Championship] and the gold, and then come back and get hit from behind and fracture his neck and be out for the season,” Schafer said.

“Devastating for Cole.”

“It was a huge blow to us. [Bardreau is] such a big part of our team. I can’t even imagine how high his emotions were [after winning the Junior World

SWIMMING AND DIVING

Championships in Russia] — to get this [injury] is probably an all-time low in his life. It’s hard to deal with,” McCarron said. “He’s going to support our team; he’s going to be with us here [for] the rest of the way. We all hope [for] the best for him, we’re going to look out for him.”

“We played without him a little bit, obviously when he was [at] World Juniors, and we’ll adapt, but [it’s] devastating for him that his season ends that way,” Schafer said.

Haley Velasco can be reached at hvelasco@cornellsun.com.

TRACK AND FIELD

Red Falls to Ivy Rival Columbia C.U. Hosted

By JOHN McGRORTY Sun Staff Writer

This past Friday and Saturday, the men’s and women’s swimming and diving teams competed against Ivy League rival Columbia University. Although both the men and women had some exciting races and the men’s diving team in particular had an impressive showing, both teams were unable to beat Columbia.

With a final score of 172127 on the men’s side and

178-115 on the women’s side, the Red was unable to secure the all around points necessary to win in both the men and women’s respective meets.

The women’s swimming and diving (1-6) team put forward a tremendous effort against Columbia. However, in a meet in which Columbia set four pool records, the team was unable to close out the event with a win.

“We fought our hardest but Columbia had great depth to bring in a lot of points and

MATT HINTSA / SUN STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER

Just keep swimming | Cornell was defeated by Columbia this past weekend, after the Lions set four pool records, but hopes to recover at Brown.

they were really prepared to swim fast this meet,”said sophomore fly swimmer Nicole Jibrine.

Columbia had a very strong overall showing in this meet and showed an extremely deep team.

On the men’s side, the Red (1-6) had an impressive start to the meet. The diving team had an early lead of six points.

But performances later on by the swimmers raised the possibility of a fast end to this year’s season.

“We had some awesome performances at the Columbia meet this past weekend ... Some standout performances from the meet include Freshman Victor Luo's two wins with outstanding times,” senior diver James O’Neil said. “Races such as his make the team excited to see how we will perform at Ivy Championships.”

Although the final points were not indicative of the Red’s effort, there were many positive moments that will help the team continue to See SWIMMING & DIVING page 13

Invitational

By JUAN CARLOS TOLEDO Sun Staff Writer

While the majority of Cornell students were home on break, the track and field teams have had meets each of the past three weekends and are taking steps in the journey to reclaim the indoor Heps championship. This past weekend, the Red hosted the Upstate Challenge in Barton Hall — a meet in which the Red competed against six other teams.

According to men’s head coach Nathan Taylor, the Upstate Challenge saw most of Cornell’s athletes get the chance to finally compete.

“The Upstate Challenge was the first meet where just about everyone was competing,” he said. “It was good for this meet to show us where some of the athletes are.”

Taylor said that this meet was challenging for him as a coach.

“It’s a challenge to really push yourself when there isn’t really very much competition,” he said.

“Some guys can do it, and some guys can’t. [Junior Montez Blair] and [sophomore Stephen Mozia]

KELLY YANG / SUN STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER

Exceeding expectations | Junior Montez Blair and sophomore Stephen Mozia both shattered records this weekend.

demonstrated that they can. Both are ranked second in the country [in their respective events].”

Sophomore thrower Stephen Mozia shattered the Barton Hall and Cornell record in the shot put with a throw of 65’ 3.25”, while junior high jumper Montez Blair broke his own Barton Hall and Cornell records three times, finally clearing a height of 7’ 5.5”.

Blair said he reamins motivated to compete, despite the strength of the field around him.

“I don’t compete against othSee TRACK & FIELD page 15