04-19-12

INDEPENDENT SINCE 1880

The Corne¬ Daily Sun Vol. 128, No. 130

THURSDAY, APRIL 19, 2012

!

ITHACA, NEW YORK

24 Pages – Free

City Braces for Traffic ‘Apocalypse’ Gay Muslim Activist Bucks Cultural Norm

Mayor:projects will clog roads

By JINJOO LEE Sun Senior Writer

By JOEY ANDERSON

ture reconstruction projects that had been put on hold when funding was short.

In a walking tour with press following the conference, city officials elaborated

On Wednesday, Faisal Alam, a “queer-identified Muslim activist,” spoke at Cornell about issues surrounding two communities — LGBT and Islam — that he said are rarely addressed together.

Throwing in both heart-wrenching and heartwarming anecdotes, and a few unexpectedly irreverent jokes, Alam talked in a fast and lively tone about current movements regarding the struggles faced by Muslims who identify themselves as lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgendered.

Alam noted in the beginning of his talk that the issue is not well-received as a topic for discussion in many Islamic organizations.

“I have done over a hundred speaking engagements over the last 10 years and this is only the second time that an Islamic organization has cosponsored an event with me,” he said, thanking Cornell’s Islamic Alliance for Justice for co-sponsoring the event with the LGBT Resource Center.

Alam highlighted the difficulties of reconciling Islamic faith with being gay.

“This topic of Islam and sexuality is very, very

See TRAFFIC page 4

See LGBT page 5

Sun Senior Writer

In anticipation of a wave of construction projects in downtown Ithaca set to begin at the end of the month, city officials and engineers are initiating a public relations campaign aimed at allaying the impact of increased traffic congestion.

Mayor Svante Myrick ’09 has dubbed what is expected to be a gridlocked summer “Carmaggedon,” likening the experience of sweating out the July heat in traffic to the apocalypse.

Myrick opened a press conference Wednesday with excerpts from “Second Coming,” the 1919 poem by W.B. Yeats that foretells the coming of the messiah.

MATT MUNSEY / SUN STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER

‘Carmaggedon’ | Mayor Svante Myrick ’09 leads a walking tour of the city Wednesday, visiting construction sites that city officials say will cause a ‘carmaggedon’ this summer.

“‘Surely some revelation is at hand. Surely the Second Coming is at hand,’” Myrick read.

“It’s a poem about the end of the world, a poem about the apocalypse. It’s a poem about traffic downtown dur-

ing the summer of 2012,” he said.

Thanks to an influx of state and federal dollars in a thawing economy, Myrick and a team of engineers explained, the city was finally able to undertake infrastruc-

Cornell Partners With Major NGO On Global Service

Patrols Rise With Heat

More parties in warm weather, police say

By DANIELLE SOCHACZEVSKI Sun Staff Writer

By LIZ CAMUTI Sun City Editor

President David Skorton touted the new CARE-Cornell venture as the “first-ever” partnership between a major NGO, or non-governmental organization, and a single university in a speech about Cornell’s dedication to community service on Wednesday.

Skorton and several administrators traveled to Washington, D.C., on Tuesday to launch the partnership, which will provide support for agricultural development projects aimed specifically at impoverished female farmers.

CARE — or the Cooperative for Assistance and Relief Everywhere — works with poor girls and women to help lift their families out of the cycle of global poverty. Last year, CARE worked in 84 countries and helped 122 million people around the world, according to the University.

Spearheaded by Cornell’s Atkinson Center for a Sustainable Future, the CARE-Cornell partnership will provide financial support for CARE projects through the Impact through Innovation Fund.

Money from the fund — which is jointly provided by the Atkinson Center and CARE — will match CARE staff with Cornell research teams to create pilot projects for advancing sustainable food systems in developing countries.

The Impact through Innovation Fund currently has two projects in the

CHRIS PHARE / SUN STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER

CARE-Cornell | Skorton speaks about a new global partnership Wednesday.

works: a crop improvement program in Ethiopia and a healthcare initiative for women in Mozambique without reliable access to food, according to the University.

“Today marks an important milestone in bringing the impacts of research to our human family, especially its most vulnerable members,” Skorton said at the launch. “By meshing the expertise of Cornell faculty and See CARE page 4

The early onset of summer may have students feeling carefree, but Cornell Police and Ithaca Police are aware of the uptick in partying said to be attributed to the warm weather. In response, they have upped their nighttime presence on and off campus to combat risky behavior.

There was an increase in patrols on campus this week, with officers working extra shifts — especially after 11 p.m., when most partying takes place, according to CUPD Chief Kathy Zoner.

This past weekend, Cornell Police saw six alcohol-related cases and two instances of unlawful possession of marijuana, all of which occurred after 11 p.m.

According to Zoner, criminal activity, damaged property, public urination, alcohol consumption and fights are more frequent during warmer weather.

CUPD patrols are therefore generally increased at the beginning and end of the

academic year, coinciding with the nicer weather, she said.

“There tend to be more parties — and larger parties — when the weather is warm,” Zoner said. “During Senior Week, we will increase our presence.”

More police will help ensure the safety of students who remain oncampus during Senior Week, according to

“There tend to be more parties ... larger parties ... when the weather is warm.”

Kathy Zoner

News County Wide Web

The Regional Economic Development Council is considering proposals to expand Internet access to rural areas in the Southern Tier. | Page 3

Opinion Bad Vibes

Mona G. ’13 explains why guys should leave the use of vibrators to the ladies. | Page 11

Dining Burger King

The Sun reviews the food served at Ithaca Ale House, dubbing their burgers the best in town. | Page 12

Arts Put Your Records On

James Rainis ’14 recommends albums to pick up on one of his favorite holidays, Record Store Day. | Page 15

Matt Koren ’12, Senior Week chair.

Last year, there was a significant increase in emergency calls made to Cornell University Emergency Medical Service in the warm months of April and September, according to Rebecca Goldstein ’13, director of CUEMS. See CUPD page 5

Sports Double Trouble

Both the men’s and women’s tennis teams recorded their first Ivy League victories of the spring. | Page 24

Weather Partly Sunny HIGH: 77 LOW: 46

2 THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Thursday, April 19, 2012

Today

DAYBOOK

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Daybook

Today Doing Cornell History: The University Archives and Its Treasures 10:30 - 11:30 a.m., Auditorium, Boyce Thompson Institute

Down by Merrick Beach

Emerald sea glass glints as

Globalization and Peace: The Missing Link 12:15 - 1:30 p.m., G08 Uris Hall

Breathless waves of jade

Career Options Outside of Research 4:30 - 6 p.m., 701 Clark Hall

Beckon her to walk

The TRUTH About Leadership: What It Means for You 5 - 6 p.m., Call Auditorium, Kennedy Hall

Into the dusk of rubies Echoing questions

Town Hall Event With Presidential Candidate Ron Paul 6 - 8 p.m., Lynah Rink

Tomorrow

— A Girl ʼ13

Middle East Policy in a Precarious Age: Iran and the Islamist Challenge 2:30 - 4 p.m., 142 Goldwin Smith Hall Anthropology Colloquium with Kevin Caffrey 3:30 - 6 p.m., 215 McGraw Hall

PUPIL POETRY

LUX-Art and Science Exhibition 5 - 7 p.m., Galleries, Milstein Hall Thai Festival 6:30 - 8 p.m., Clark Atrium, Physical Sciences Building

cornellians write verse

Cayuga’s Waiters Spring Fever XXXVIII 8 p.m., Bailey Hall

Students may send poetry submissions to news@cornellsun.com.

BROOKLANE APTS.

607-257-5444

www.brooklanecornell.com

.co m

n ells

r

Walk to campus from this professionally managed 1 bdrm.

Free off-street parking, w/w carpeting, On-site laundry facilities.

Call for appt.

un

When secured by 4/19/12

w w w.c o

1ST MO. FREE RENT

www. cornell sun .com THE NEW

120 EAST STATE ST.

277-6115

Cinemapolis.org

genteel waxing for ladies & gentlemen

607.269.0929

WWW.PROPERPUSS.COM

240 LINDEN AVENUE, ITHACA

The Corne¬ Daily Sun INDEPENDENT SINCE 1880 Editor in Chief

Juan Forrer ’13

ALL DEPARTMENTS

Business Manager

Helene Beauchemin ’13

(607) 273-3606

Business: For questions regarding advertising, classifieds, subscriptions or delivery problems, please call from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., Monday-Friday.

News: To report breaking news or story ideas, please call after 5 p.m., SundayThursday.

SEND A FAX VISIT THE OFFICE THE SUN ONLINE E-MAIL

(607) 273-0746 139 W. State Street, Ithaca, N.Y. www.cornellsun.com sunmailbox@cornellsun.com

Postal Information: The Cornell Daily Sun (USPS 132680 ISSN 1095-8169) is published by THE CORNELL DAILY SUN, a New York corporation, 139 W. State St., Ithaca, N.Y. 14850.

The Sun is published Monday through Friday during the Cornell University academic year, with three special issues: one for seniors in May, one for alumni in June and one for incoming freshmen in July, for a total of 144 issues per year. Subscription rates are: $137.00 for fall term, $143.00 for spring term and $280.00 for both terms if paid in advance. First-class postage paid at Ithaca, New York.

Postmaster: Send address changes to The Cornell Daily Sun, 139 W. State St., Ithaca, N.Y. 14850.

NATIONAL THEATRE LIVE: ‘She Stoops to Conquer’ 6:30 Thurs. 4/19 & 1:30 Sat. 4/21 THIN ICE 7:25 / 9:35 Ends Thurs.

BRAKE (UR) 7:00 / 9:30 (no 7:00 on 4/19) Ends Thurs.

SALMON FISHING IN THE YEMEN (PG13) 7:15 / 9:25 JEFF WHO LIVES AT HOME (R) 7:20 / 9:20 PINA (PG) 9:10 THE ARTIST (PG13) 7:10 Starts Friday: IN DARKNESS / BEING FLYNN

THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Thursday, April 19, 2012 3

NEWS

Council: Greater Internet Access Needed in Southern Tier

By CAROLINE FLAX Sun Staff Writer

After a recent report found that 25 percent of Tompkins County does not have access to “reliable and affordable” Internet access, competing options have emerged for expanding access to rural areas of the Southern Tier region. At a meeting of the Regional Economic Development Council — one of 10 regional development councils that Gov.Andrew Cuomo created to to improve New York State’s troubled economy — on Wednesday at Cornell, council members considered the most recent proposal to remedy this problem.

In a report released in January, the Tompkins County Broadband Committee, which aims to promote Internet technology countywide, emphasizes the role of Internet access in allowing people to participate in the global economy and to take advantage of educational and cultural opportunities.

“The Tompkins County Legislature has a choice. It can assume that Internet access is a personal matter … or treat broadband access to the Internet as … [equally] as necessary to the health of the community as roads and highways,” the report states.

Joe Starks, president of ECC Technologies — a company that specializes in project management and telecommunications consulting — proposed Wednesday that fiber optics cables — telecommunication wires that transmit data — be constructed to bring broadband to more isolated areas in the region.

Starks said that building these cables would allow companies such as Facebook, Google and Yahoo to extend their businesses into the Southern Tier region.

“Those organizations are looking for infrastructure, and they have a lot of other options,” he said. “You don’t have infrastructure out there, and you need it today.”

Under Starks’ proposal, the Southern Tier would construct about 235 miles of fiber optic cable in the Elmira and Binghamton areas in order to bring Internet access to more businesses, as well as to public safety and health care institutions.

Starks noted that increasing Internet access to these industries could “establish global competitiveness” in the region.

He said that without the infrastructure to do so, the Southern Tier is at a disadvantage compared to places that have already brought this technology to their communities.

The Southern Tier is currently “five years behind those progressive communities,” he said.

Starks emphasized that installing fiber optic cables would

ZAC PETERSON / SUN STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER

Assessing access | Members of the Regional Economic Development Council proposed means of improving internet access for rural areas in the Southern Tier at meeting on Wednesday afternoon at Cornell.

best enable Tompkins County to advance technologically.

The committee’s January report, however, suggests a wireless solution to the problem instead of Starks’ fiber optics proposal. After Starks presented his proposal Wednesday, council members reiterated the recommendations put forth in the report.

Some added that Starks’ system may not be the most economically viable for Tompkins County.

According to Pat Pryor, Tompkins County legislator and chair of the committee, a wireless solution would be more effective in expanding Internet broadband to industries in the region, such as agriculture and tourism, that are largely excluded.

Chuck Bartosch, a member of the committee and the founder of local wireless Internet provider Clarity Connect, Inc., echoed Pryor’s sentiments, saying that fiber optics are not economically feasible for Tompkins County.

“We don’t really care what the technology is, we care about what is cost effective,” Bartosch said.

According to the broadband committee’s report, fiber optic cables could cost anywhere between $25,000 to $60,000 per household. Wireless access, on the other hand, costs only $300 to $800 per household.

Still, Starks said that since more communities are choosing to install fiber optics, using another technology will create a divide between different communities.

“There are a lot of communities that are doing this today,” Starks said. “The new digital divide is those communities that get involved and those that do not.”

Caroline Flax can be reached at cflax@cornellsun.com.

Org.Brings Science Education to Haiti

By CAROLYN KRUPSKI Sun Contibutor

Cornell’s largest pre-health services career organization, PATCH, spent six weeks this semester working on an initiative to bring science education to a poverty-stricken elementary school in Port-au-Prince, Haiti.

Students in the Cornell PreProfessional Association Toward Careers in Health created 60 science kits with experiments for fourth- and fifth-grade students, as well as accompanying instruction booklets for the projects, that were sent to the Haitian school.

“We realized that, if we want to help, we have to do it ourselves,” said Sharjeel Chaudhry ’13, co-president of PATCH. Chaudhry said that when he heard about the obstacles schools were facing in the wake of the 2010 earthquake, he felt that PATCH could offer assistance.

“A lot of support that has gone to Haiti has gone to Port-au-Prince. A lot of money has been raised by celebrities, but it hasn’t [reached the Haitians] who need it,” he said.

Chaudhry said that giving money to schools does not result in necessary improvements.

“Most of the time, if you give [the schools] money, they will use it on teachers, they will use it on used books,” Chaudry said. “[This] school is in the rebuilding process … With a brand new setting, it is easier to implement a brand new approach as well.”

The team decided to focus the content of the kits on teaching sustainability, as well as topics relevant to the needs and interests of Haitian students.

“Most of the projects are pertinent to the area,” Chaudhry said, and deal with scientific concepts, such as deforestation, that are relevant to Haitians.

Chaudry said the group performed extensive research to determine the focus of the kits.

“We bounced our ideas off of … doctors, school administrators there and, most importantly, off of Haitian students on campus,” Chaundry said.

“There were two Haitian students … who really understood the cultural side of Haiti and implications of everything we do.”

Ensuring that the kits could be reused was another important part of the project.

“The big thing about these projects is that they are sustainable,” Chaudry said. “We tried to buy the high-quality, more expensive [item] so that it would be durable and last four or five years.”

Chaudry said it is difficult to quantify the project’s success at this point.

“Our best metric is self-reporting — asking [the students] what they got out of it,” he said. “Even if only two students in the entire class pursue science that would not have otherwise pursued science, we have been successful. $1,500 on two students is a solid investment.”

Chaudry said that PATCH plans to pursue the project again next year

–– but with a different focus.

“We are looking to do the same project for schools in the United States,” he said. “We are looking to form a connection with schools in New York City with disadvantaged youth … [for example], 11th or 12th grade students who operate at a fourth- or fifth-grade level.”

Chaudry also said that the program may be adopted by natural disaster relief agency Humanity First to be used in schools in other countries recovering from natural disasters.

“Humanity First will gauge how successful they feel the project [has been],” Chaudry said.

PATCH students said they have learned a lot from working on the project.

“As Cornell students, we have been extremely privileged to have access to an abundance of resources here that have really facilitated our education, particularly in science courses,” said Chloe Michel ’13. “The Haitian students deserve an opportunity to utilize different scientific tools and run experiments just as elementary-aged students in other regions of the world have been able to access.”

For Martine Fleurius ’13, who hails from Haiti, the project served as an opportunity to help his native community.

“I felt a personal duty to be involved since the project was for the benefit of children in my home country,” Fleurius said.

Caroline Krupski can be reached at cek92@cornell.edu.

Dartmouth College President Jim Yong Kim was announced as the World Bank’s 12th president on Monday. President Barack Obama nominated Kim on March 23, The Dartmouth reported.

Prof. Stephen J. Greenblatt, literature, Harvard University, was awarded the 2012 Pulitzer Prize for general nonfiction on Monday for his book, The Swerve: How the World Became Modern. It traces the ideas explored by Roman philosopher Lucretius in his epic poem, “On the Nature of Things,” The Harvard Crimson reported.

Five Columbia University faculty members have been elected as fellows of the American Academy of Arts and Sciences, one of the country’s most prestigious academic honor societies, The Columbia Daily Spectator reported.

Nearly four of five Brown University students approve of President Barack Obama, according to a poll conducted by The Brown Daily Herald.

Many students said Obama has worked hard to pursue policies that are of particular importance to college-age students.

A.J. Steward Smith, Princeton University’s dean for research will change administrative roles and become the vice president for the Princeton Plasma Physics Laboratory, the Princetonian reported. Smith will be the University’s primary liason to The U.S. department of Energy.

Zachary Brunt, a freshman at Yale University, died Wednesday. Brunt was found dead at the J.W. Gibbs laboratory, according to the Yale Daily News. The cause of his death remeains unknown.

— Compiled by Manu Rathore

4 THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Thursday, April 19, 2012

NEWS

Skorton Promotes Partnerships Abroad Myrick ’09 Says Dialogue Will Soothe Traffic Woes CARE

Continued from page 1

students with that of CARE professionals on the ground, we are speeding the delivery of sustainable solutions to those who need them most.”

Panelists at the launch also recognized the partnership as an initiative that reflects Cornell’s commitment to the applied sciences, community service and international engagement.

Dorcas Robinson, director for gender and food security for CARE U.S., who sat on the panel at the program’s launch, cited Cornell’s dedication to applying science to real world problems as one of the reasons for the collaboration.

“Cornell is a world-class university with leading scientists in a number of fields, including climate science and agriculture,” Robinson said.

“It’s a university committed to the application and practice of science.”

Prof. Christopher Barrett, applied economics and management and a panelist at the launch, emphasized the importance of the CARE-Cornell partnership in upholding Cornell’s mission as a land-grant institution, as well as reasserting its commitment to community service.

“Cornell is the only Ivy League land-grant university and is dedicated to coupling first-rate science with extension to solve problems in the world,” Barrett said. “You can think of CARE as being our cooperative extension [partner] abroad.”

Skorton reiterated this comparison in his address to local community service groups on Wednesday, noting that, as a land-grant institution, the University is dedicated to service in for-

eign countries, as well as in Ithaca.

“We are the only private college that has a formal public mandate to do this kind of service … we view the whole university under the land grant philosophy, not just the four public colleges.”

Skorton said. “As we're approaching the 150th anniversary of the University … I think it’s unbelievably important that we are spending a lot of time and effort to be there as a public servant.”

Skorton also noted that the University was recently named to the President’s Higher Education Community Service Honor Roll — “the highest accolade” a University can receive for community service work, he said.

Barrett noted the importance of the partnership for advancing the mission outlined by Skorton in his white paper — a report issued in March that reaffirms the University’s plan to increase investments in international study.

“The president is trying to push for a heightened sense of international engagement on campus,” Barrett said. “What better way to do this than to strike a partnership between Cornell and a leading international humanitarian organization?”

Barrett said CARE is an organization composed of “highly motivated people with tremendous credibility on the ground,” who he said will benefit with Cornell.

“They need science and engineering based solutions — they need new, creative ideas that can only come from places like Cornell,” Barrett said.

Liz Camuti can be reached at lcamuti@cornellsun.com.

TRAFFIC

Continued from page 1

on why some of the projects — reconstructing the East Clinton Street Bridge; revamping the deck floor of the Seneca Garage; demolishing the Women’s Community Building on Seneca — were necessary, and what impact they would cause.

The closure of East Clinton Street Bridge on April 30 will pose a particularly difficult problem for traffic, according to Tim Logue MRP ’00, a transportation engineer. The closure will block off one of two entry points to the South Hill from the center of Ithaca, forcing drivers to make a detour around the “turning fork”— the bridge on Aurora Street over Green Street.

To make matters worse, many of the detours themselves will be under construction. Drivers headed to South Hill, for instance, will only be allowed to use one lane on Green Street while the other lane is re-paved.

Logue said that the location and density of the construction projects will pose challenges for the City’s Department of Public Works, the body responsible for city streets.

“We’ve had summers that were challenging, that had some pretty big traffic impacts,” Logue said. “This one strikes us because Clinton and Prospect Street carry upwards of 16,000 cars per day, so it’s a major corridor for us. There are very few choices on how to get to South Hill, so all of those cars have limited choices. And the detour for that project has construction on it also, and then there are all these other private [construction projects].”

Despite forecasted clots in traffic flow, Myrick and a team of city engineers said they were thankful for the increases in city and state investments, which will allow the city to make necessary technical updates to streets and bridges.

“Even though we’re lamenting how bad [this traffic situation] is, we’re well aware that these investments are long overdue,” Myrick said. “Talk to the people in the City of Ithaca and they’ll tell you that it’s about time that we fix some of these roads, fill some of these potholes and repair these bridges. We know that these investments, both public and private, are worthwhile, and we’re happy for them.”

Assistant City Engineer Tom West ’83 said that the East Clinton Street Bridge — constructed in 1919, and repaired several times since — is near the end of its lifespan. West said that components of its infrastructure, on average, received very low ratings in recent evaluations, and likened the aging bridge to an old car.

“At a certain point you have to replace your car — when it’s more rust than car,” he said.

In preparation for the fuss that hot, frustrated drivers will likely make this summer over the detours, the City of Ithaca has increased communications with the public. They hired a public information writer, responsible for collecting information from the different project managers and communicating it to the public.

Myrick said he hopes that increased communication with commuters will sooth frustrations among drivers, give them advance notice to plan their routes and encourage walking, biking and riding the TCAT bus.

Joey Anderson can be reached at janderson@cornellsun.com.

THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Thursday, April 19, 2012 5

NEWS

Gay Muslim Activist Cites Deragotory Language as a Barrier to Acceptance LGBT

Continued from page 1

complex and very difficult.

There are lots of emotions involved because sexuality is a personal topic,” he said.

Showing cartoons and images rife with Islamaphobia to the audience, Alam said that Muslims are often stereotyped in the U.S. as militaristic, radical and oppressive toward women.

Moreover, “within the LGBT community, there’s the widespread idea that Islam is homophobic,” he said.

Alam emphasized that some progressive Muslim groups are now emerging, adding that such movements should be a basis of hope for LGBT inclusiveness within Muslim communities.

“We don’t necessarily equate Islam with LGBT. But in the last 10 to 15 years, there are people coming to the forefront that are saying they are Muslim and LGBT,” Alam said. “Ideas are springing and [people are] saying that these two are not magnets that repel against one

another.”

Alam said that it was important to move beyond religious rhetoric and to focus on people’s individual struggles.

“It’s very easy to get caught up in the semantics of theology.

There are 10 verses in the Koran that supposedly oppose homosexuality,” he said. “What I want to talk about are people’s lives, people who are thrown out of their homes, forced into arranged marriages.”

Alam also highlighted some of the more subtle difficulties faced by Muslims that identify as LGBT, saying that even language can become a barrier to acceptance.

“How do you describe [LGBT] to your grandmother who doesn’t speak English ... when all the words describing your identity in your language are derogatory?”Alam said.

Derogatory language is something that Alam knows well. His family emigrated from Pakistan to the U.S. when he was 10 years old to a small town in Connecticut. There he was

CUPD Prioritizes Safety CUPD

Continued from page 1

According to IPD Deputy Chief John Barber, Ithaca Police is also adding officers to weekend patrols in light of the recent warm weather. Between four and eight extra officers will work Friday and Saturday night shifts in Collegetown, East Hill and the Commons, he said.

“We have noticed an increase in partying,” Barber said.

IPD takes a zero tolerance approach to enforcing local ordinances, according to Barber.

“We want a safe environment for everyone,” said Barber. “We will continue to maintain the positive quality of life in these neighborhoods.”

In a press release Tuesday, CUPD and student leaders reminded students to be considerate of their neighbors and aware of

campus and city rules when hosting parties on- and off-campus.

“Our number one priority is student safety,” Goldstein said.

“Calling 911 for help when necessary is crucial.”

In the press release, Chris Sanders ’13, president of the Interfraternity Council, encouraged students to take advantage of the New York State Good Samaritan Law as well as both the campus and Greek Life medical amnesty policies when faced with an emergency situation.

“If a brother, sister or friend is incoherent or passed out and can’t be roused, don’t just let them sleep it off. Alcohol poisoning and drug overdose can be fatal,” he said. “It is always best to call for help — even if you are not sure if it is necessary.”

Danielle Sochaczevski can be reached at dsochaczevski@cornellsun.com.

taught in his Muslim community that Islam condemns homosexuality.

“No ifs, ands or buts about the conversation — there were no such things as gay Muslims.

They didn’t exist. That was it,” Alam said.

Although he knew “something was different” from a young age, Alam was unable to give a name to his sexual identity until high school, during which time he also became heavily involved in the young Muslim community.

At the end of his freshman year, Alam finally faced his “two separate identities” and had a nervous breakdown.

“This level of schism in one’s life can only last for so long until it takes a toll on your body, your soul, your psyche,” he said.

After the breakdown, Alam became determined to “never let something that happened to [him] happen to others like [him] in [his] community.” That is when he began his activism, he said.

He eventually gained enough

support to found Al-Fatiha, an organization for LGBT Muslims. While recognizing that there are barriers, Alam said that he is optimistic about the future of the two communities.

“I may not get there with you, but we will get there one day,” he said.

Mariyah Ahmad ’13, publicity chair for the Islamic Alliance for Justice, noted the importance of creating a dialogue about LGBT issues in the Muslim community — issues she said are usually hidden in the Muslim world.

“It’s shocking to me that this is the first time this topic was addressed openly at a place like Cornell,” she said.

Sarah Rahman ’12, president of the IAJ, said that although the students within the IAJ did not all share the same opinions about this topic, it was important to “create a safe space to have these discussions — without fear of judgment or repercussion.”

“This talk is not just about homosexuality, religion or Islam

— it’s about something bigger — love, kindness, respect and friendship,” Rahman said.

“People need to realize that you don’t have to agree with someone’s belief and way of life to accept them and love them.”

Matthew Carcella, associate dean of students and director of the LGBT Resource Center, who knew Alam prior to his visit to Cornell, said that he was glad to have brought Alam to campus.

“I thought that he was very open and honest and spoke about his experiences, which is something that we often don’t do enough of. And I think that it was touching to a number of people for a number of different reasons,” he said.

Alam’s last few words at the talk expressed both optimism and caution.

“As you go out into the world, I hope you speak and hold onto your truth — no matter how much people may try to oppose your truths,” he said.

Jinjoo Lee can be reached at jinjoolee@cornellsun.com.

6 THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Thursday, April 19, 2012

NEWS BRIEFS

Schneiderman Accuses Two Of Unlicensed Surgery

ALBANY, N.Y. (AP) — New York Attorney General Eric Schneiderman has accused two men without doctor’s licenses of doing cosmetic surgery last year that disfigured three women.

A criminal complaint says Carlos Arango and William Ordonez recruited women from a spa in Queens and did liposuction and fat transfers without general anesthesia, while Dr. Marlon Castillo periodically entered the procedure room.

Arango and Ordonez are accused of surgery on two patients in Connecticut and one in Manhattan, though neither is a licensed physician, physician assistant or nurse in either states.

Patients reported pain and some permanent disfigurement.

Castillo and Arango have pleaded not guilty to charges including fraud and assault and were jailed with bail at $100,000.

Authorities say Wednesday they are still looking for Ordonez.

All are natives of Colombia.

N.Y. Bill Targets Theft of Family Pets ALBANY, N.Y. (AP) — Stealing the family dog or cat in New York could soon send a pet thief to prison.

A bill under consideration by New York lawmakers would send someone convicted of stealing a pet, including mutts and stray cats that found a home, to prison for up to four years for felony grand larceny. “This treats pets as the family members they are and sends a powerful message to the community,” said Bill Ketzer, northeastern senior legislative director of the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty of Animals.

The measure passed in the Senate on Wednesday and now goes to the Assembly for its consideration.

The sponsors say the punishment for the crime — now a misdemeanor — must be toughened to meet the severity of the crime, which includes stealing dogs as bait for fighting dogs and use in research as well as the use of pets as pawns in domestic violence. The measure would likely be the toughest of its kind in the nation.

‘World’s Oldest Teenager’ Dick Clark Dead at 82 LOS ANGELES (AP) — Dick Clark, the ever-youthful television host and producer who helped bring rock ‘n’ roll into the mainstream on American Bandstand and rang in the New Year for the masses at Times Square, has died. He was 82.

Spokesman Paul Shefrin said Clark had a heart attack Wednesday morning at Saint John’s hospital in Santa Monica, where he had gone the day before for an outpatient procedure.

Clark had continued performing even after he suffered a stroke in 2004 that affected his ability to speak and walk.

Long dubbed “the world’s oldest teenager” because of his boyish appearance, Clark bridged the rebellious new music scene and traditional show business, and equally comfortable whether chatting about music with Sam Cooke or bantering with Ed McMahon about TV bloopers. He long championed black singers by playing the original R&B versions of popular songs, rather than the pop cover.

Ryan Seacrest, who took over main hosting duties on the countdown show from Clark after the legend grew frail, said in a statement Wednesday that he was “deeply saddened.”

“I idolized him from the start, and I was graced early on in my career with his generous advice and counsel,” Seacrest said. “He was a remarkable host and businessman and left a rich legacy to television audiences around the world. We will all miss him.”

He thrived as the founder of Dick Clark Productions, supplying movies, game and music shows, beauty contests and more to TV. Among his credits: The $25,000 Pyramid, TV’s Bloopers and Practical Jokes and the American Music Awards.

“Dick Clark was a true pioneer who revolutionized the way we listened to and consumed music,” record executive Clive Davis said in a statement. “For me he ranks right up there with the giants of our business.”

For a time in the 1980s, he had shows on all three networks and was listed among the Forbes 400 of wealthiest Americans. Clark also was part of radio as partner in the United Stations Radio Network, which provided programs — including Clark’s — to thousands of stations.

“There’s hardly any segment of the population that doesn’t see what I do,” Clark told The Associated Press in a 1985 interview. “It can be embarrassing. People come up to me and say, ‘I love your show,’ and I have no idea which one they’re talking about.”

He was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes in 1994 and served as spokesman for the American Association of Diabetes Educators.

Clark, twice divorced, had a son, Richard Augustus II, with first wife Barbara Mallery and two children, Duane and Cindy, with second wife Loretta Martin. He married Kari Wigton in 1977.

“Generations of Americans grew up with Dick, and yet he seemed forever young,” Mayor Michael Bloomberg said in a statement. “His spirit will always live on in Times Square, and in hearts of millions of New Yorkers.”

NATIONAL NEWS BRIEFS

Romney, Obama Engage In Scorching Battle Over Economy

CHARLOTTE, N.C. (AP) — Their battle joined, challenger Mitt Romney savaged President Barack Obama’s handling of the economy on Wednesday while the commander in chief commiserated up close with victims of the recession and warned that Republicans would only make matters worse.

“Obama is over his head and swimming in the wrong direction” when it comes to the economy, Romney said in a scorching speech delivered across the street from the football stadium where the president will deliver his Democratic National Convention acceptance speech this summer.

“Even if you like Barack Obama, we can’t afford Barack Obama,” the former Massachusetts governor declared, an evident reference to the president's ability to transcend at least some of the public’s dissatisfaction with the pace of the recovery. Romney quoted liberally — and mockingly — from Obama’s 2008 campaign pledges to repair the economy.

At the same time, Obama sketched his case for re-election in swing-state Ohio, where he met with unemployed workers who have enrolled in job training programs. Then he spoke at the Lorain County Community College.

“Right now, companies can’t find enough qualified workers for the jobs they need to fill” locally, he said. “So programs like this one are training hundreds of thousands of workers with the skills that companies are looking for. And it’s working.” By contrast, he said, between the years 2000 and 2008, Republican policies produced “the slowest job growth in half a century ... and we’ve spent the last three and a half years cleaning up after that mess.”

Campaign symbolism counted for much on a day that seems destined to be replicated often in the six months until Election Day. The Republican challenger delivered his scathing denunciation of the president's policies with the Bank of America Stadium over his shoulder. Aides dubbed his remarks a pre-buttal to the president’s own, and early-arriving partisans heard a recorded medley of rock music that included “It’s Still the Same.”

Each man taunted the other at times.

“I wasn’t born with a silver spoon in my mouth,” Obama said in an evident reference to Romney, whose father was president of American Motors, an automaker.

Romney jabbed that unlike four years ago, when Obama walked through stage-set columns at his convention, things would be different this summer.

“You’re not going to see President Obama standing alongside Greek columns. He’s not going to want to remind anyone of Greece,” Romney said, “because he’s put us on a road to become more like Greece,” where crushing debt has led to an austerity plan and public protests.

Judge Asked to Sign Off On BP Oil Spill Settlement NEW ORLEANS (AP) — BP and attorneys for more than 100,000 people and businesses presented a federal judge Wednesday with a class-action settlement designed to resolve billions of dollars in claims spawned by the 2010 oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico.

The London-based oil giant and the lawyers are asking U.S. District Judge Carl Barbier in New Orleans to give preliminary approval to the settlement agreement. The judge hasn’t indicated when he will rule.

BP PLC estimates it will pay about $7.8 billion to resolve these claims, but the settlement doesn’t have a cap. It will likely be one of the largest class-action settlements ever.

“As in any settlement, neither side will receive everything it wants — not BP, which believes that plaintiffs’ claims are subject to considerable litigation risk, and not the (Plaintiffs’ Steering Committee), who maintain that they would one day obtain larger awards if their claims were to proceed to trial,” the filing said.

The details of the agreement, spelled out in hundreds of pages of documents, are consistent with the deal announced last month, but the reaction was mixed, leaving open the possibility that many businesses and individuals might decide not to take part.

Dean Blanchard, a shrimp processor in Grand Isle, La., said he was disappointed. He said shrimp processors like him in the hardest-hit areas of the coast should get more money.

“They want to make it a one-size-fits-all, and it’s not,” he said.

“They’re looping too many people together.”

He said he would opt out and predicted others would do the same. “I have lost millions of dollars. They can never bring me back.”

Kevin Heier, a blue crab harvester, wasn’t sure yet what he would do.

“Frustrating? That’s an easy word for it. It’s beyond frustrating,” he said. “We were fine before the spill. The seafood is harder to get, it’s more expensive, people aren’t buying the seafood like they used to.”

The agreement announced March 2 doesn't resolve separate claims brought by the federal government and Gulf states against BP and its partners on the Deepwater Horizon drilling rig over environmental damage from the nation's worst offshore oil spill.

The settlement also doesn’t resolve claims against Switzerlandbased rig owner Transocean Ltd. and Houston-based cement contractor Halliburton. Barbier has scheduled a May 3 hearing to discuss plans for a possible trial on the other claims.

THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Thursday, April 19, 2012 7

Judge Quits Trayvon Martin Case, Citing Conflict of Interest ORLANDO, Fla. (AP) — The judge presiding over the Trayvon Martin shooting case has removed herself after George Zimmerman’s attorney said she had a possible conflict of interest.

Florida Circuit Judge Jessica Recksiedler recused herself Wednesday because of a potential conflict that relates to her husband.

He works with Orlando attorney Mark NeJame, who was first approached by Zimmerman’s family to represent the neighborhood watch volunteer.

But NeJame declined and referred them to Mark O’Mara, who is now representing Zimmerman. NeJame has since been hired by CNN to comment on the case.

Judge Kenneth M. Lester Jr. will preside over the case after a second judge also had a conflict.

Zimmerman is charged with second-degree murder for the Feb. 26 shooting of the 17-yearold Martin. Zimmerman said he shot Martin in self-defense after Martin attacked him.

Martin was unarmed.

For All Your Cycling Needs!

STEPHEN CROWLEY / THE NEW YORK TIMES

Expires Sunday, April 29, 2012

8 THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Thursday, April 19, 2012

THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Thursday, April 19, 2012 9

OPINION

The Corne¬ Daily Sun Independent Since 1880

A

130TH EDITORIAL BOARD JUAN FORRER ’13 Editor in Chief

HELENE BEAUCHEMIN ’13

JEFF STEIN ’13

Business Manager

Managing Editor

RUBY PERLMUTTER ’13

JAMES CRITELLI ’13

Associate Editor

Advertising Manager

JOSEPH STAEHLE ’13

LAUREN A. RITTER ’13

PETER A. JACOBS ’13

ANN NEWCOMB ’13

Sports Editor

Web Editor

Design Editor

Associate Managing Editor

BRYAN CHAN ’15

ESTHER HOFFMAN ’13

Multimedia Editor

Photography Editor

EVAN RICH ’13

ELIZA LaJOIE ’13 Blogs Editor

Web Managing Editor

ZACHARY ZAHOS ’15

DAVEEN KOH ’14

Arts & Entertainment Editor

Arts & Entertainment Editor

ELIZABETH CAMUTI ’14

KATHARINE CLOSE ’14

City Editor

News Editor

REBECCA HARRIS ’14

AKANE OTANI ’14

News Editor

News Editor

DANIELLE B. ABADA ’14

SCOTT CHIUSANO ’15

Assistant Sports Editor

Assistant Sports Editor

HALEY VELASCO ’15

REBECCA COOMBES ’14

Assistant Sports Editor

Assistant Design Editor

NICHOLAS ST. FLEUR ’13

AMANDA STEFANIK ’13

Science Editor

Assistant Design Editor

JOSEPH VOKT ’14

SYDNEY RAMSDEN ’14

Assistant Web Editor

Dining Editor

SEOJIN LEE ’14

MAGGIE HENRY ’14

Marketing Manager

Outreach Coordinator

ERIKA G. WHITESTONE ’15

AUSTIN KANG ’15

Social Media Manager

Assistant Advertising Manager

JESSICA YANG ’14

HANK BAO ’14

Human Resources Manager

Online Advertising Manager

WORKING ON TODAY ’S SUN ASSISTAN DESIGN EDITOR DESIGN DESKER PHOTO NIGHT EDITOR NEWS DESKERS SPORTS DESKER ARTS DESKER DINING DESDKER NEWS NIGHT EDITORS

Editorial

Amanda Stefanik ’13 Elizabeth Sowers ’15 Fiona Modrak ’13 Zac Peterson ’14 Liz Camuti ’14 Rebecca Harris ’14 Danielle A. Abada ’14 Zachary Zahos ’15 Sydney Ramsden ’14 Manu Rathore ’15 Danielle Sochaczevski ’15

Grading Turnitin

ONE YEAR AFTER PROVOST KENT FUCHS approved a Faculty Senate resolution calling for campus-wide implementation of the plagiarism detection service, Turnitin, faculty are still debating the effectiveness of the program.

In certain Cornell classes, students submit their papers to Turnitin, which then compares a student’s paper to its vast database of material, that includes student submissions, scholarly articles and other potential sources of plagiarism. The service also copies that student’s paper and adds it to the database for future comparison.

Since its implementation, a handful of teachers have added Turnitin to their grading processes. We discourage other faculty from using Turnitin. While plagiarism may be a problem at Cornell, we believe that it reflects a moral failing by the student, as well as an educational failing by the University. Neither one of these issues can be simply undone by putting an essay through a digital strainer.

A professor using Turnitin is choosing to focus on the malfeasant’s academic result, as opposed to the flawed process that got her there. This misjudgement is especially evident in classes where students are not being graded relative to each other. Developing analytical skills and the ability to critically evaluate material should be the priority of essay writing.

Turnitin does not focus on the root problems, and students will find their way to academic dishonesty. A simple Google search will turn up a number of websites that offer students a convenient service, connecting them to a freelance writer who will research and write their entire paper for them. These services have been labeled “essay mills.” A 2009 feature by The Chronicle of Higher Education identified several writers who have produced hundreds of papers for others. Turnitin cannot account for this or other types of academic dishonesty that are easily available to students.

Having to put your paper through Turnitin can also be nerve-wracking. Since the punishment for plagiarism ranges from horrible to cataclysmic, one cannot blame even an honest student for bouts of paranoia after submission of a paper. To take advantage of this anxiety, Turnitin provides students a service called WriteCheck, which (for the price of $7 per paper) will evaluate how much of their writing is plagiarized.

WriteCheck can also be used by plagiarizers to touch-up their papers, allowing them to avoid detection. Professors should not use a service that takes advantage of the anxiety of honest students while providing a workaround for dishonest students.

As we mentioned previously, Turnitin indexes the writing of every student paper that is submitted to it. It then uses that massive database to market itself to schools as an effective means of catching cheaters. Students have no say in the process of allowing a for-profit corporation to use their writing for its own gain. The courts have ruled that this is not copyright infringement, but that does not make it fair. Turnitin is utilizing the whole of another person’s work, without that person’s permission, for its own gain.

Sounds familiar.

CORRECTION Due to an editing error, an Arts story Wednesday, “[Space] Travel,” appeared with a photograph of a different exhibit than the one discussed in the article.

Y.O.L.O.

s a second semester senior, I’ve had more time on my hands than I know what to do with; so much extra time that I actually couldn’t think of a single reason not to work out. There are no papers that need writing, no meetings that I refuse to blow off and no power naps to stand between the gym and me. And so I have become something of a gym rat.

My favorite thing about going to the gym is watching Days of Our Lives while I work out. This may seem silly to some of you, but I have been watching DOOL for as long as I can remember. I’ve been watching since before Joey Tribbiani got a role on it. Yeah, it’s been that long. My second favorite thing about working out is a certain piece of eye candy.

I see this man at the gym once or twice a week. I wouldn’t say he’s handsome or even particularly cute, but I am inexplicably attracted to him. I think it’s his arms — they are so big, so muscular, so ... large. Whenever I see him, I get the urge to touch him. Something pulls me toward him. I refer to him as Dave/Gravity (D.G.) because he looks like a Dave and though the force pulling me toward him is much stronger than 9.81 m/s2, it is comparable.

Two weeks ago I told my roommate about this and we decided that D.G. could totally be my soulmate. Conclusion: I had to ask him out.

But what game plan could I construct to ask out a stranger? All I knew was, “Hey, I watch you on the stepper at least once a week and that’s pretty sexy. Dinner sometime?” was not an option.

The Monday before last I went to the gym and jumped on the elliptical but I couldn’t focus. All I could think was that in moments, D.G. would walk in and I would have to bide my time till his 30 minutes on the stepper were up ... Alas, he did not show up.

On Wednesday I forewent my usual gym time to have lunch with my buddy Mary-Sue. After lunch, the two of us sauntered over to the commencement fair. That’s when I received a text from my most faithful wingwoman telling me that D.G. was at the gym.

I ran out of the Cornell Store, my heart pounding and my diploma frame in hand.

Once I arrived, I saw D.G. on the stepper. I managed to loiter around the front desk for a solid five minutes while I waited for him to finish. Gametime.

D.G. had just passed the front desk when

I ran after him. “Excuse me,” I said and he turned around. I hadn’t even started working out but I was winded. I didn’t know what to say so I started the only way I knew how.

“Hi.” He was waiting for more so I added “We haven’t met but...” Good going, Captain Obvious. And then, in a fit of insanity I cannot take back, I said “...but I think you’re cute — do you want to go out sometime?”

He said he had a girlfriend. Oddly enough, I didn’t mumble a lame excuse, just an “Oh, well I thought I’d ask.” But then I thought, oh no — I’ll have to stop going to the gym at this time so I can avoid him. I’ll miss DOOL and the opportunity to anonymously enjoy his arms from my coveted spot on the elliptical.

Who knew so much had been at stake?

I was about to say, “so, do you want to stop coming to the gym at this time or should I?” But before I could deliver my possible avoidance tactic, D.G. said something else. He said

Hazel Gunapala Appropriately Cynical “I think I’d have said yes” and grinned. It probably wasn’t even true, but the fact that he thought to say it made me happy. It was nice to know that my measured spontaneity was not a total waste.

Now that I think about it, I wonder why I was nervous at all. What’s the worst that could’ve happened? He could’ve say no. Oh wait, he did. But I didn’t know him to begin with, so who cares?

I hope this inspires you to do something that seems scary, unusual or just plain stupid.

If you can’t act strange or careless in college, when can you? Being smart enough to know better shouldn’t condemn you to a boring, bythe-book life. So stop saying no when you mean yes and take some damn chances, because even if you fall flat on your face and look like a complete a-hole, I bet it’ll make for a great story. Y.O.L.O. Hazel Gunapala is a senior in the College of Arts and Sciences. She may be reached at hgunapala@cornellsun.com. Appropriately Cynical appears alternate Thursdays this semester.

Letters

Explaining the new SAFC funding process To the Editor: Re: “Student Organizations May Face New Route to Funding,” News, April 16 This past year has been a difficult one for many student organizations on campus. As a result of 104 new groups, a 30 percent increase in year-over-year requests, and a new “second chance” policy that allowed groups to bring in missing documentation, the Student Assembly Finance Commission was forced to implement an annual cap of $5,500 for student groups.

This came as a surprise to many groups, many of which received almost double that amount in prior years. Practices, tournaments, conferences and other events were cancelled because groups did not have the money to fund their programming. While more clubs received funding this past year and funding was easier to attain due to the second chance policy, the result was a lower cap for groups across the board.

Throughout the past two semesters the Commission has been working diligently to develop a solution. Our proposed solution is a tiered system that would place all student organizations into a tier that would have a specific funding cap. The proposal aims to address two major problems that exist with the current funding system. The first is that student organizations that need the most money cannot receive it. The second is that more than $200,000 of the funds we allocate goes unspent by groups, thereby driving the cap lower and preventing money from going to groups that would actually spend it. Our proposal seeks to properly align organizations’ incentives — to encourage responsible budgeting that would minimize inefficient allocations due to unspent funds as well as provide funding availability based on an organization’s needs.

Groups will benefit by having access to funds that is more in line with their spending needs.

Moreover, groups will be able to increase their tier in the future should the need for more funding arise.

One of our goals in reforming the SAFC funding process is to elicit as much feedback from student organizations as we can. On Feb. 24 we e-mailed all presidents and treasurers asking for participation in evaluating proposed changes to our guidelines. We partnered with the Cornell eRulemaking Initiative in order to solicit feedback from students in a moderated online discussion. The proposed changes were officially presented to the S.A. last Thursday and since that initial presentation we held an open forum during which many presidents and treasurers provided useful comments. We’ll be presenting our updated proposal at the SA meeting today at 4:45 p.m. in Uris G08. We encourage all to attend as input from the students this proposal stands to benefit is crucial.

Larry Kogos ’13, SAFC co-chair; Brandon Coulter ’13, SAFC co-chair; Roneal Desai ’13, S.A. liaison

THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Thursday, April 19, 2012 11

OPINION

T

Sex of the Unexpected

he other night, I ordered Insomnia Cookies. While you may think this is a lame way to start a sex column, bear with me. It was a Friday, and if you know me at all, I was not going to sit in my room Friday night and eat Insomnia Cookies. I ordered them for my roommate, as an apology of sorts for the night before.

You see, my semi-drunken sexual exploits were disruptive on a night where my roomie needed some intense shut-eye.

So the cookies arrived. I answered the door, and to my surprise, there stood an extremely sexy delivery boy. I hadn’t remembered Insomnia delivery boys to be so attractive, although to be fair, I hadn’t ordered Insomnia since first semester freshman year. Yet there he was.

“So you’re having a low-key night tonight?” he asked. Low-key? Please, I was standing there in a see-through shirt and four-inch heels, what did he think I was doing?

“No, these are for my roommate, I’m actually preparing to rage pretty hard at a north campus frat house tonight.” As I spoke, he handed me the cookies, but he didn’t quite let go.

“Is your roommate home?” He asked. I responded that she wasn’t. Our eyes locked and we both realized where this was going.

I invited him upstairs to have some cookies. We shared a double chocolate chunk cookie, soon engaging in a warm passionate kiss. Things escalated rapidly from there, soon we were going at it so acrobatically that my roommate’s cookies spilled all over the floor.

I’m sorry, this can’t go on. This didn’t happen. Well, the part about the sexy Insomnia Cookies delivery boy and the fact that I wanted to invite him upstairs happened. Seriously though, this guy was good looking. As he was walking away, I wondered why the classic scene we all know so well from pornography never quite plays itself out in real life.

As an aside, I don’t really watch porn. And by that I mean, I’ve only seen porn maybe one time. I guess it’s just something I never got into. I was thinking about watching a bunch of porn for the first time then writing column about it at some point. Maybe next time.

Anyway, the excitement of this delivery boy situation lies in that it’s so unexpected. Think about when you order food for delivery. What are your plans usually? Probably to lounge

G

uys, are you scared of vibrators? Do they haunt your dreams, crawl into your bed at night and buzz in your ears? Vibrators are a danger to the family structure and to the basis of society as we know it. Vibrators can take from you your dignity, your power and most importantly, your sex life.

Vibrators are like magic wands, same shape and same hand motion necessary for proper use. Upon first contact with the vibrations, your girl will be put under its spell. Signs of the terrible spell are uncontrollable convulsing, sweating and attempted yodeling or opera singing. Following these odd but serious symptoms comes a deep sleep, a sleep that you, my prince, cannot awake her from. Only the power of the intense vibra-

Mona G. One Night Stand tions over her most sensitive of areas can awake this sleeping nymph[o].

Vibrators are meant to be used by your girl solo — like, when you’re out of town or when you’re just not cutting it under the covers. Advice: Do not bring a vibrator to bed. We will compare this mistake to suggesting a threesome with a man of unmatched sexual prowess. So, do not bring the seemingly harmless, yet equally stimulating vibrating device into bed if you plan on getting some.

Once a guy of mine made this fatal mistake. He had brought this tiny vibrating bullet into bed, attached to his finger. He then began to search for my clitoris, which is a later article unto itself. Once found, this vibrating beauty began to send shivers up and down my body. He

around stuffing your face watching Game of Thrones. Having sex with your delivery man/woman is the last thing you’d expect to happen. So if it ever did happen, it would be completely awesome. You could get some real, gritty material for the next porno you’re going to write.

actually happens, it’s amazing.

Not only is it some of the best sex you’ve ever had, but they seem to automatically know your likes and dislikes without any kind of prior sexual education! How were they harnessing this sexual prowess within their completely normal persona? Why didn’t they tell

Morgan T. After Midnight Sex itself is, more often than not, expected. But what comes close to being as great as unexpected sex, is sex that is unexpectedly great. You all know what I’m talking about.

It usually plays out like this: The girl or guy you’re expecting to hook up with is fairly attractive. He or she is good looking but not in an overtly sexual, Sofía Vergara way. Maybe a little nerdy (we go to Cornell after all), but pretty funny. Generally you’re expecting some average, run of the mill kind of stuff in the bedroom. But then when the sex

you before how great in bed they were?

Maybe you could have prepared yourself before, upon finishing, you blurted out that they should be your date to your next sorority function. That, my friends, is unexpected.

Morgan T. is a junior in the College of Human Ecology. She may be reached at morgant@cornellsun.com. After Midnight appears alternate Thursdays this semester.

Bad Vibes continued rubbing me with this little stick of wonder, and orgasm approached. “Not so fast,” I said, as a welltrained sex maestro, I forced the orgasm back into submission and returned to the build up. After a good while, I was all ready for the sex to begin — begging for it at this point.

He was turned on as well by the sight of my pleasure.

So we began to make love. But something was now missing. The sex was good but my body was not responding.

My orgasm had gotten tired and had fallen asleep after all the excitement beforehand. I did not want to accept this fate, so I asked my guy to do me from behind, then to put his hand right where I needed it to be. Still though, I was not getting there — and luckily I get there 90 percent of the time, every time.

My clit was lonely and missing its little vibrating friend that had so intensely pleasured my pleasure button. Now this dick just wasn’t doing it for me. And again, it was not the dick and it was not the guy. It was the desensitizing of the vibrator. His fingers on my clit were not enough, and without some powerful stimulation, the sex was not leading me to orgasm. So he came and I did not, which is, of course, unacceptable. So I suggested he work overtime on me, and bringing back the mini vibrator, he gave me three orgasms.

Although the vibrator was smaller than my pinky finger, it was powerful. I usually cum from just sex, but this time, my body grew used to a vibrating bullet right on my clit. So when it was taken away, my body and mind were disappointed to the point of no orgasm — sad, sad story. This is a common occurrence. Men use vibrators to get their ladies all hot and ready, just to be disappointed by the less than dramatic ending.

As a scientist through and through, I did some

JSTOR snooping to get the full picture on electromechanical vibrators, as they are properly called. There is a scientific debate as to whether the use of vibrators enables or inhibits orgasm during sex. Some say that using vibrators will decrease the sensitivity of the area, making orgasm harder to reach by a non-battery operated method. Others, however, believe they can “cure” non-orgasmic women with vibrating sex therapy. One particular study found that 79 percent of women orgasm nearly every time when using a vibrator for clitoral stimulation (Davis, et al. 1996). This is almost double that of women who orgasm from vaginal intercourse, 44 percent of women. The conclusion is obvious — women love the vibrations! The body craves this sort of stimulation.

Vibrators are here to sooth those of us who are not getting any and too lazy to use our own hands. Vibrators are a single girl’s only treat on Valentine’s Day. Vibrators are not meant to enter the relationship realm, unless no dick is involved. Lesbians should, by all means, enjoy the use of vibrators on each other, daily. I would also advise trying a strap-on vibrator to get a more realistic feeling. We must also consider the use of vibrators in D.P., which happen to be the initials of my first boyfriend. Double penetration with a vibrator seems much more enjoyable than in any other form. So, although I do not advocate using a vibrator on a girl before sex or instead of sex, if you want to use the vibrator during sex, it sounds sexy to me.

I hope men are now more cautious of using vibrators on their girls. But if not, just know they will do a better job than you do and girls will reach orgasm quicker, easier and even more intensely than we would have with you.

Just stick to the dick.

Mona G. is a junior in the College of Agriculture and Life Sciences.

One Night Stand appears alternate Thursdays this semester.

Feedback and submissions may be sent to monag@cornellsun.com.

12 THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Thursday, April 19, 2012

DINING GUIDE

The Corne¬ Daily Sun

Dining Guide

Your source for good food

Greasy Pub Fare for the Fine Dining Crowd

By YILIN ZHANG Sun Staff Writer

Pinesburger 1213 Taughannock Blvd.

Call The

(Route 89 - 3 miles north of Cass Park) Ithaca, NY 14850

(607)

273-3709

www.glenwoodpines.com

Voted BEST BURGER in Ithaca!

– Ithaca Times Readers Choice

Perfect Burger: I mean, how can you resist the perfect, and the big and sexy? My legal-aged friend ordered Stone Pale Ale and really liked the thick and strong taste.

Despite the disappointingly long wait, we found every plate to be absolutely delicious. The Buffalo Chicken Spring Rolls were delightfully crunchy and served with a tomato bleu cheese dip, which was a unique and delicious touch. The pizza was similar to the classic favorite Margherita pizza.

The Za Pizza, with its thin and crispy crust, was a refreshing change from the ubiquitous greasy and doughy late-night snack.

Now, let me tell you: once you try the burgers at Ithaca Ale House, you will begin to question why you wasted your time and money at Stella’s, Rulloff’s or the dining halls and did not discover the deliciousness of the Big Sexy Burger and the Perfect Burger.

The Perfect Burger is served with a large steak knife right through the

Sun

273-3606 • M-F • 9-5

for more information about advertising in THE DINING GUIDE

3 generations of Lucatellis serving the community

205 elmira rd.

•

273-0777

www.lucatellis.com

Bar opens at 4 p.m.

Dinner served Tuesday-Sunday from 5 p.m.

Dine inside or outside on our patio Closed Mondays

Live entertainment in our PIANO LOUNGE Thurs.-Sat. at 6 p.m.

middle and with your choice of sides. It has all the typical ingredients of a common burger: beef patty, cheese, bacon, lettuce, tomato, ketchup, mustard and mayonnaise. But it is put together perfectly: the burger is warm, the buns are soft, the beef is cooked to your liking, the cheese is melted just right and the size of the burger is suitable for the average mouth. The Big Sexy Burger is the classic BBQ burger made to perfection. The BBQ sauce is blended perfectly with mayonnaise and two different cheeses, and the end result gets away with not being too heavy or greasy. The fries were also incredible; they were crunchy inside but soft outside and fried to golden perfection.

While we were more than satisfied with our delectable burgers, we fortunately had space for some dessert. The dessert menu features a wide range of mouthwatering options, and just browsing them will have your stomach growling.

E SALE S

RESTAURANT

HOME OF THE

EMILY BURKE / SUN SENIOR PHOTOGRAPHER

Always prepared before heading to any restaurant, I did some research and gathered that the Big Sexy Burger, the Perfect Burger, the Buffalo Chicken Spring Rolls and the thin-crust pizzas are absolutely legendary. The menu items boast interesting names, such as the Monster Burger and the Bastard Burger, that only enhance their temptation. The appetizers are slightly expensive, but the main plates are very fairly priced and suitable for the typical college student. While drooling over the menu, our waitress took a noticeably long time bringing our drinks and taking our orders. The restaurant was not that busy, and the slow service and indifferent waitress brought down the sunny mood.

When the time finally came to order our appetizers, we ordered the Buffalo Chicken Spring Rolls and The Za Pizza. For our main plate, I ordered the Big Sexy Burger and my friends had the

O LOBSTER E

In your search for a delicious meal in the Commons, you may ask yourself some crucial questions in your journey to the heart of Ithaca’s restaurant scene. Who has the best burgers in town? Ithaca Ale House, so I’ve heard! Known for its decadent, juicy burgers made with ale and its large selection of ales (hence the name), this place is representative of true American food. If it’s in the Commons, how come I’ve never seen it? Located on the other side of Mahogany Grill and Bluestone Grill in the Commons, the restaurant’s narrow purple roof and its comic font is hardly noticeable from afar.

Blasting classic rock music and showing football on large TV screens, Ithaca Ale House has more of a sports bar or pub feel than that of a fine dining eatery.

This place is completely packed everyday of the week and does not take reservations. Knowing this, my friends and I arrived early for dinner (around 6:00 pm) and were told that it would be a 20-minute wait. Having picked a sunny day for our hunt for delicious burgers, we were excited to enjoy the restaurant’s outdoor seating, a must-have for hungry friends looking to make the best of Ithaca’s few beautiful and warm days.

We finally decided on the hot cookie sundae: an irresistible combination of warm cookies, ice cream, chocolate syrup and whipped cream. The portion size was quite large and one dessert can likely be shared between 3 to 4 people. We left the Ithaca Ale House with bloated stomachs and frustration with the lousy service, but overall a happy impression.

Ithaca Ale House is strongly recommended to diners looking for the tastiest burger in town in the heart of the Commons.

Although the service was slow and of poor quality, the food definitely made up for the restaurant’s flaws and left a great memory. The publike touch and the option of outdoor seating makes the dining experience unique. So kick back, relax at the outdoor seating in the sunshine, and have a juicy one!

Yilin Zhang can be reached at yz278@cornell.edu.

THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Thursday, April 19, 2012 13

Call 273-3606 Mon.-Fri. 9-5 for information about placing your ad in the DINING GUIDE

stay informed

A&E

14 | The Corne¬ Daily Sun | Thursday, April 19, 2012

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT Killing Joke MMXII Spinefarm Recorrds

AKai Sam Ng If you’ve listened to LCD Soundsystem’s “Losing My Edge,” you’ve already heard Killing Joke’s music without realizing it. “Losing My Edge” takes its drumbeat and bass line from Killing Joke’s “Change,” which is pretty ironic given the fact that “Losing My Edge” is a pissing contest about being original and relevant. But if you’re going to claim that you hung out with Captain Beefheart so early in his career that nobody noticed you were there, who’s going to notice if you rip off the entire b-side of a single from the 1980s?

Known more for being a large and pervasive influence on others than for their own music, the band introduced its harsh and gritty sound in their self-titled debut in 1980 that later became the foundation for all varieties of industrial and heavy music. Where Joy Division inspired future musicians to become minimally melancholic, Killing Joke inspired them to be harsh and angry.

Killing Joke was part of the late 1970s post-punk explosion that produced bands like The Fall, Wire and The Cure. Defying break-ups, reunions and lineup changes, these bands are still going strong after 30 years, and are on their 29th, 12th and 13th studio albums, respectively.

Killing Joke is no exception: Though they never officially broke up, the band went on hiatus in 1996, reformed under a different lineup in 2002, disappeared again and reformed under their original lineup in 2008.

Despite this, the band was able to release three albums along the way, making MMXII their 15th studio album. But even after 30 years, the band continues to put the post back in post-punk by adopting a more industrial rock-, metal-

OT

O O

O

O O

O

EST

SPINS

O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O

new and notable music in review

O

influenced sound without forfeiting their origins. As abrasive as ever, the songs are more structured and controlled than the chaotic all-over-the-place roughness of their early work.

Killing Joke hardly leaves behind the social and political commentary that defined their peers like This Heat and The Pop Group. From the montage of mushroom clouds on This Heat’s Deceit to The Pop Group’s For How Much Longer Do We Tolerate Mass Murder? to Killing Joke’s “Follow the Leaders,” all three bands silhouettes an apocalyptic vision of impending destruction because herd mentalities convince people that evil acts are normal. If there is anything consistent in the punk-politics of Killing Joke, it is their inconsistency. While nuclear war loomed large in the 80s, frontman Jaz Coleman lamented about seeing “the sun turn green/ from my penthouse window/ it’s different now/ because you got no shelter.”

In accordance with the title, MMXII also focuses on 2012 doomsday theories as well as other occult themes.

While occultism is not new for the band, it has never surfaced as visibly as it does in MMXII. This plus their political track record is, unfortunately, a mixed bag. Coleman rants about the Rapture and ancestor worship to the point where he sounds demented, which complements nicely with the band’s rock-like-it’s-the-end-of-the-world attitude. But it does induce a lot of eye rolling and detracts from the powerful political message the band intended.

Can we really take seriously a person who calls for an end to corporate greed (“Corporate Elect”) when he also accuses FEMA of building concentration camps in preparation

O

O

O OO

O

O

for Congress to declare martial law (“FEMA Camp”)?

Album opener “Pole Shift” is a perfect example how torn the album is between awesomeness and eye rolling. On one hand, Coleman’s insane rant about the north and south poles switching on December 21, 2012, and causing a global catastrophe is an engaging story that works with thrashing guitars and guttural screams to create an epic nineminute track. On the other hand, the band actually believes it. In a press release promoting MMXII, the band warns that the pole shift is a disaster beyond our control, and yet they find “positive light in the dawning of the Age of Aquarius.”

MMXII creates another more positive form of disbelief: It’s confounding, even a little unfair, that a band that played with long gone ancients like Joy Division could still come out with something this good. Big basslines and scratchy guitars create a mixture of industrial rock, postpunk and heavy metal that manages to stay harsh and abrasive while sounding fresh and classic. The band doesn’t try to hide the fact that they’re old, but they make it clear that they still have something to say.

Disregard the horrid album cover and ridiculous conspiracy theories, because MMXII is overflowing with immense and epic heavy rock. If you have never listened to Killing Joke, this album is a great place to start. If the band has taught us anything, it’s that there is never a time when it is too old or too late to do something.

Kai Sam Ng is a sophomore in the College of Arts and Sciences.

He can be reached at kng@cornellsun.com.

Bassnectar Vava Voom Amorphous Music

B+

Zach Reisler COURTESY OF BASSNECTAR.NET

Vava Voom is a filthy creative continuation of Bassnectar’s evolving career. Having made his name crafting hip-hop-esque simple beats with feint wobbles and eclectic samples on albums like Beatfreak Bohemia and Motions of Mutation, Bassnectar rose to fame as the dirty, long-haired monster bouncing on stage and has continued to release sick tracks. His last album Divergent Spectrum was one of his best yet with the hit remix of Ellie Goulding’s “Lights;” It also contained heavy hitters like his remix of Gogol Bordello’s “Immigraniada” and the gritty smash “Upside Down” — an even doper remix

by Terravita in the remix pack released weeks after.

Now the bass god (no, not Lil’ B) has graced us with another dose of heavy, satisfying sub-bass on the new album. The title track, “Vava Voom,” features Lupe Fiasco rapping and is a fresh and resounding hip-hop beat similar to the beat from “Beamer Benz or Bently.” It makes you want to lean with it, rock with it, do the laffy taffy, get low or whatever ridiculous dance with which you get down to addictive hip-hop beats.

The following track, “Empathy,” is similar to “Lights” with its lingering bass and emphasis on counts one and three. Droning female voices accent the bass with their high pitches while bright synths strangely illuminate the track, a real headbanger.

Next, on “Ugly” featuring Amp Live you get a very typical Bassnectar sound with a scratchy bass alternating with snare-filled build-ups. Bassnectar flows seamlessly

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

between dubstep and drum and bass on this track, giving you both the headbanging pleasure of dubstep and the crazy speed of drum and bass — the switch up gives the track character.

The crowning jewel of the album — for all you true bassheads out there — I’m talking about “What,” featuring Jantsen. A glitchy intro introduces an escalating snare that drops with no mercy. Crushing, whining bass combined with a syncopated rhythm makes this track the most exciting. It’s bouncy, with a Jamaican hype man talking in the breakdowns — a face-melting drop just around the bend. This is definitely a late night crowd pleaser.

Other standouts include “Do it Like This” featuring Ill Gates. It seamlessly uses silence — with a notable lack of booming signature bass — and offers a refreshing respite to not hear. It has some strange ticking sounds and brief electro grinds that compliment the steady beat.

Incorporating audio from actual ping-pong rallies, “Ping Pong” is the last noteworthy song to mention. It is insanely creative how he sampled the sounds of the pingpong balls hitting rackets and tables and fused them into the track. From even just a sound engineering standpoint, this one is definitely worth a listen.

Some of the final songs on the album don’t particularly stand out and were muted, slow and not in line with Bassnectar’s energetic style. The album ends with “Chronological Outtakes,” which consists of a series of

short bits of rock and dubstep songs and various sound effects, like people talking and lips smacking.

Bassnectar’s career has followed an upward trajectory, and with this new album and his non-stop touring, I only see it continuing.

The first time I saw Bassnectar was at Coachella 2010. Hair down to his back, draped over his face, Bassnectar looked like a little furry man onstage; with his head constantly banging to his own music, he bounced about the whole set, maintaining high energy while dropping some insane tracks.

Just this spring break, I saw him perform at Ultra Music Festival in Miami. He only played for an hour but he brought the ruckus and had a sea of people moving in unison to his entrancing bassy tracks. Confetti rained and the lights strobed, moving wildly when he dropped the beat. I then looked up to see fireworks in the sky and felt euphoric dancing with thousands of sweaty dubheads.

I have never been let down by a Bassnectar show, and Vava Voom is no different. The album gets it so right on certain tracks and falls short on others. Yet it is the dirty brilliance of the tracks discussed that makes this album a standout success.

Zach Reisler is a sophomore in the College of Arts and Sciences. He can be reached at zrr3@cornell.edu.

A&E

Thursday, April 19, 2012 | The Corne¬ Daily Sun | 15

The Five People You Meet at Coachella M y In-N-Out double double and animal fries having already passed in (and out), my week of truancy spent in the California sun is officially over. Bronze and beleaguered, I arrive back to Shithaca’s gloom and a poppin’ Cmail inbox after living the dream at Coachella. Jealous? I ain’t gon’ lie — it was kind of perfect. For one, I’ll be set with a slew of default profile pictures for months. What’s more, I’ve got enough stories to tell (think Texts From Last Night) to last at least two semesters. And before you tell me about your CTown weekend of frats on frats on frats, I got two words to stop you in your tracks: Tupac’s hologram. But while I could get into the strange sorcery of 2Pacalypse’s appearance at Snoop and Dre’s headlining set, I’ve got to say that Coachella is nearly as much about the people as it is the music. That being said, here are the five people you meet at Coachella:

2. ‘Hipsters’ By hipster, I actually mean a bunch of try-hard teens in crochet crop tops wearing feathered hippie headbands with Smart Waters in their suede fringe bag. I’m pretty sure they have a shrine made to Vanessa Hudgens as their divine entity. Let me tell you, I can spot a “hipster” a mile away by their Aztec-print tote. The real perpetrators are the girls who think they can pull off a Native American headdress. Sure, white girl, I really believe you sympathize with the Cherokee nation, but could you express your emotionality without a feathery three-foot protrusion poking my face as I try to watch the stage from behind you?

1. The Bon Iver Bros I first noticed these frat boys when they decided to set up a game of Beersbee in the endless security checkin line. These shirtless dudes were pounding Miller High Life’s in their neon wayfarers and Christian Audigier board shorts. Of course, I judged them like I 3. Hipster Haters judge anyone who wears Ed Hardy, and I thought, “I Hipster haters prevent Coachella from becoming one guess someone has to be here for Avicii.” Little did I know, I asked some beefy guys beside me at Bon Iver to bad UrbanOufitters campaign. They’re condescending and critical but also a godsend. When cover me from they get drunk, they like to run into the creepy stoner the groups of pseudo-hipsters seated dude who, at the venues (awaiting the next set) despite his nearly screaming the best things: “Get out of catatonic state, your cuddle puddles!” When they get would not stop stuck in a crowd of high-waisted studfollowing me.

Profanity ded denim shorts, they like to shout, Those beefy bros “Hippie roadblock! It’s a hippie roadvery promptly Prayers block!” While they’re not always fun stood guard and — I mean, I should be allowed to then immediately broke out in bellows as Justin Vernon came on stage. wear a maxi shirt without a hipster hater heckling me — They then proceeded to belt out every single Bon Iver they’re necessary as the keepers of the hipsters. lyric word-for-word in perfect accuracy. They even had 4. Philosophical Druggies Vernon’s falsetto down. I don’t — what the — huh?

More than half the population at Coachella is either This does not compute. But the next day, once again queuing up at Coachella’s many security checkpoints, I drinking, blazing, rolling, tripping or all of the above at overheard several bros extol their love for Beirut’s front any given moment, but I much prefer the philosophical man, Zach Condon, and St. Vincent’s Annie Clark. druggies to the belligerent drunks and faded ravers. The Protective, gentlemanly frat boys into Beirut and Bon philosophical druggies often offer surprising insight.

Iver — be still my heart. I love myself a contradiction. Front row at Jeff Mangum, I found myself theorizing the Serious question — do we have these Bon Iver bros at cause of Mangum’s reclusive lifestyle with some compromised individuals. As the vocalist of Neutral Milk Hotel, Cornell?

Alice Wang

ZANDER ABRANOWICZ ‘14 / SUN STAFF ILLUSTRATOR

Jeff Mangum has been in hiding for years, much to the chagrin of his fans, and it’s difficult to determine exactly why. Amongst the druggies and I, we theorized that if Zach Condon was a sandwich, he’d be something on pita bread with avocado sprinkled sunflower seeds. If St. Vincent was a sandwich, she’d be a panini with grilled asparagus and something fancy like truffle oil. But if Jeff Mangum was a sandwich, we couldn’t tell if he’d be a cucumber finger sandwich or a sloppy joe — he’s really that much of a mystery. Needless to say, this sandwich conversation would’ve never occurred without the help of some THC and MDMA. 5. The One-Uppers You know those pretentious fucks that like to strike up conversation with other festival-goers just to hear themselves talk? Coachella is crawling with these jerks.

“Oh, you’ve only seen The Black Keys at festivals? I mean, I much prefer smaller venues. In fact, I just caught them at the Mercury Lounge last week but honestly they had much better showmanship in 2008 when I saw them at the Bowery.” Unfortunately, these conversations will turn into pissing contests between one fedora-wearing asshole against a capri-wearing douchebag trying to recite all the opinions and analogies they memorized off Pitchfork.

Alice Wang is a freshman in the College of Arts and Sciences. She can be reached at awang@cornellsun.com. Profanity Prayers appears alternate Thursdays this semester.

Have You Seen My Records?

BY JAMES RAINIS Sun Senior Editor

Ah, Record Store Day. A Luddite’s dream: a celebration of tangible art in the age of digitization, convenience and piracy. Started in 2007 by a coalition of avid indie record shop supporters, it’s a holiday that tries to combat the impersonal experiences of corporate music stores and online downloads with a sense of community. As someone who has undoubtedly violated the sacredness of this holiday — I am quite familiar with how torrents work and I’m pretty sure that I’ve bought a record at Target before — it’s a rather intimidating monolith. But rather than get political about it (because this pariah don’t preach), I’m going to focus on what I do understand: the music! In honor of the hippest of holidays, artists from all scenes are making exclusive Record Store Day releases. So hop on down to the Commons and visit Angry Mom Records (located in the basement of Autumn Leaves Used Books) and pick up some of these sweet jams (Note: not all of these are guaranteed to be at Angry Mom, but you’re sure to find something worth picking up regardless).

“R U Mine?” by Arctic Monkeys

Already deemed worthy of a video by the Sheffield quartet, this is a song that views Zeppelin-quality riffage through the sepia-toned perspective (think allusions to The Lone Ranger) Alex Turner rode to near perfection on last year’s Suck It and See. It shows the boys embracing a more traditional rock sound without abandoning the trickily constructed lyrical turns that have set them apart from day one.

“Born to Die (Damon Albarn Remix)”/“Blue Jeans (Penguin Prison Remix)” by Lana Del Rey If you have spent any time on the internet in the past six months, you are already tired of all the hype surrounding the former Lizzie Grant. But once Mr. Damon “I was in Blur and Gorillaz” Albarn and Penguin Prison, the production crew behind “Don’t Fuck With My Money,” are through with her, you’ll forgive believing the hype, if only for a little while.

The Flaming Lips and Heady Fwends

by The Flaming Lips Wayne Coyne and company not only recorded a double LP for your Record Store Day pleasure, but brought along a diverse crew including Neon Indian, Coldplay’s Chris Martin, Bon Iver, Tame Impala, Nick Cave, Biz Markie and, most spectacularly, Ke$ha to help make it. Like everything the Lips put their name on, it’s bound to be freaky, kind of bizarre and a

little ridiculous. Mostly, though, it’ll probably just kick ass.

Upstairs at United, Vol. 3 by JEFF the Brotherhood To some people, this may just seem like some dorky garage band’s halfassed contribution to a holiday that would give them a little bit of street cred.

Those people are forgetting something: this isn’t just some dorky garage band.

This is JEFF the fucking Brotherhood we’re talking about here. It’s bound to be a raucous introduction to a band that has been described as “rabblerousing” by none other than the venerable Peter Jacobs ’13. If you like rock music but just wish it would get to the awesome parts already, this is one you ought to check out.

Mclusky Do Dallas by Mclusky You know what? I’m not even going to try to sell you this album using useless things like “adjectives” and “related artists.” I’m just going to let the song titles (“Lightsabre Cocksucking Blues,” “Fuck This Band,” “To Hell With Good Intentions”) and some sample lyrics (“All your friends are cunts/Your mother is a

THE NEW YORK TIMES

ballpoint pen thief,” “Pull up my pants now the camera crew is gone/In your statement to the police, tell them how you turn me on,” “My love is bigger than your love/We take more drugs than a touring funk band”) speak for themselves. If you thought any of those were at all funny or clever, you will love this album.

The Breakfast Club Soundtrack by Various Artists If you don’t tear up when you hear “Don’t You (Forget About Me)” by Simple Minds, you have no soul.

James Rainis is a sophomore in the College of Agriculture and Life Sciences. He can be reached at jrainis@cornellsun.com.

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

16 THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Thursday, April 19, 2012

Los Angeles Times Daily Crossword Puzzle Edited by Rich Norris and Joyce Nichols Lewis

ACROSS 1 Historical novel, usually 5 CCCII x III 9 Digital camera option 13 Show signs of age, as wallpaper 14 Gray with age 16 Ohio tribe 17 Ventura County city 18 Prepare to transplant, as to the garden 19 Swig 20 Phenoms 23 Trip letters 24 Breezed through 25 Cut 29 “Death, that hath suck’d the honey __ breath”: Shak.

31 Fitting 33 10-Down suffix 34 Peace in the Middle East 36 Ginormous 38 Env. info 39 Sardegna o Sicilia 41 Mine entrance 42 A little too clever 44 Physicist Tesla 46 64-Across spec 47 Shell game need 48 Durable cloth 49 Africa’s northernmost capital 51 Suffragette who co-founded Swarthmore 52 “Conan” airer 55 Trochee and iamb 59 Tombstone lawman 62 Fishing boot 63 Private jet maker 64 Nine West product 65 Muscat native 66 Periodic table fig.

67 It may be rigged 68 “After the Thin Man” dog 69 Oft-misused pronoun DOWN 1 Tough guy’s expression

2 How roast beef may be served 3 Some living legends 4 “Put __ on it!”

5 Exemplars of poverty 6 Capuchin, e.g.

7 Lacking sharpness 8 Waffle maker 9 Last critter in an ABC book 10 Raw mineral 11 Fry cook’s supply 12 Bumped into 15 Abbr. in a CFO’s report 21 “Do I dare to __ peach?”: Prufrock musing 22 This, in Tijuana 26 Some molars 27 Cybercommerce 28 Sedimentary formation 30 “Charlotte’s Web” setting 31 Chat room inits.

32 Museums for astronomy buffs 34 “Full House” actor 35 “Farewell, chérie”

36 Coquettish 37 Munro’s pen name 40 Reggae relative 43 __ dixit: unproven claim 45 IOC part: Abbr.

48 Museum guide 50 Drive forward 51 Cursed alchemist 53 Lotto variant 54 Pol Thurmond

56 Couple 57 Avatar of Vishnu 58 Weak spot 59 Last letter in most plurals (but not in this puzzle’s six longest answers, which are the only plurals in this grid) 60 Word of discovery 61 Palais resident

ANSWER TO PREVIOUS PUZZLE:

COMICS AND PUZZLES

Sun Sudoku Fill in the empty cells, one number in each, so that each column, row, and region contains the numbers 1-9 exactly once.

Each number in the solution therefore occurs only once in each of the three “directions,” hence the “single numbers” implied by the puzzle’s name.

(Rules from wikipedia.org/wiki /Sudoku)

1

Puzzle #515 7

9 8

4 7

4

1 1

5

1 2

9

3

5

9

8

5

3

4

1

2

7 6

2 2

4

7 C

xwordeditor@aol.com

By Victor Barocas (c)2012 Tribune Media Services, Inc.

Doonesbury

Mr. Gnu

Piled Higher and Deeper

04/19/12

04/19/12

April 25, 2012

by Garry Trudeau

Travis Dandro

by Jorge Cham

It’s up to us. reduce reuse conserve protect recycle

THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Thursday, April 19, 2012 17

Quality, Affordable, For 4 GConvenient!

1, 2, 3 Renovated.

Bedroom Apartments 2 Parking, Laundry, Utilities!

(214) 289-5134 (607) 273-7368 www.IthacaApartmentRental.com 1 Bdrm.

Standard Rate: $3.50 per day for first 15

words, 33 cents per day per word thereafter. 5 or more consecutive insertions, $3.25 per day for first 15 words, 31 cents per day per word thereafter.

Commercial Rate: $5.30 per day for first

15 words, 34 cents per day per word thereafter. 5 or more consecutive insertions, $5.10 per day for first 15 words, 32 cents per day per word thereafter.

The Sun is responsible for only one day make good on ads.

273-3606 classifieds@cornelldailysun.com

3 N OTICES Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous Meetings: Wednesdays 7PM First Congregational Church 309 Highland Road 351-9504

F NOW renting. Apartments without hassle.

Hudson Heights Apartments are located on South Hill, 8 minutes from Cornell.

Close to CU. $390 plus Prices start at $610/month. u Rent includes: furniture, all utilities, parking, garbage and recycling.

There are two laundry facilities on the premises and the bus route is on the block.

Contact Tony for an appointment: 607-280-7660 or email renting@ithacaLS.com

3 BEDROOM Across from Cascadilla Dorms All W/Private Bathrooms

6 G RADUATION H OUSING

Beautiful renovated Victorian building Mezzanine level in each bedroom Incredible!

607-277-0910 pjapartments.com pjapartments@gmail.com

Still looking for accommodations for graduation weekend? 2 BR furnished apartment available on Cliff Street, 2 miles from downtown. Email jdbenedict412@gmail.com for more information.

One Bedroom AND Studio

9 L OST

AND

F OUND

Collegetown’s Finest 400 College Ave 1 - 2 Bdrm Apts Covered & Uncovered Parking (607) 277-3767 www.StudentRentalsIthaca.com

2 BEDROOM APARTMENT

607-277-0910

Cayuga Heights / Community Corners area.

Near Cornell. Utilities included. $950/month. 607-319-4140

pjapartments.com pjapartments@gmail.com

2BR Apartments

Many New Beautiful Renovations Completed.

Available for 2012-2013.

BEST DOWNTOWN ROOMS

Features w/w carpeting, 2 BEDROOM GARDEN APARTMENT across from Cascadilla Dorms f

on Cliff street just 2 miles from downtown.

Spacious layouts with furnishings available.

All appliances including dishwasher. On bus route. Ample parking. Available now and for 2012/2013 academic year. email jdbenedict412@gmail.com for more information.

New renovation. Highest quality fittings and furniture. Beautiful patio.

Lots of windows.

607-277-0910 pjapartments.com pjapartments@gmail.com

PRIVATE ROOMS with or without bathrooms Fully furnished, utilities included Kitchen and laundry facilities on-site Free parking, shuttle to campus Fitness center, pool table and Free wireless internet in the TV lounges www.ithacastudentapartments.com 607-277-1234

You are invited to visit

ithacarenting.com to view floor plans, pictures, lease, tour schedule, and prices for our Collegetown properties.

607-272-3000

p

Office: 119 Dryden Road Rent Smart. Live Well.

26 A PARTMENT FOR R ENT

Collegetown Terrace Apartments

Find Your Next Apartment At:

Collegetown Terrace Showroom

1-5 Bedroom Apartments All Locations Certified Properties of TC Inc. 273-1669 certifiedpropertiesinc.com

Casa Roma Apartments Studios, 1, 2 and 3 Bedrooms Covered Parking Available Heat and Hot 8/5. Water Included T www.ithacastudentapartments.com 607.277.1234

Studios to 18 Bedroom Mansion

25 ROOMS FOR RENT

Now Renting 2012-2013

$1180.

Mini-studios, mini-kitchen, TV lounge, laundry. $510up.

607-273-9462 www.ithacarenting.com

COLLEGETOWN

PARKING West & North Cornell Campus Contact 607-273-1654 for information

New Map Features!

Free, Safe and Searchable!

A

Ithaca Commons

PAM JOHNSTON APARTMENTS

Parking College Avenue www.ithacastudentapartments.com 607-277-1234

WWW.ITHACARENTS.COM

1 Bedroom

Heart of Collegetown Heat, hot H2O, Internet A/C, 42 inch TV! www.travishyde.com (607) 327-1211 kworden@travishyde.com

1 - 2 Bedroom Collegetown - College Ave, Cook St. Linden Ave, Dryden Rd, Bryant Ave. 607-330-2442 Office at 307 College Ave. info@urbanithaca.com www.ctownrentals.com

All land, adventure, & water

M-F 9-5

AVAILABLE NOW 407 College Ave

CITY VIEW - 2012-13

Commons West Studio, 1,2 & 3 bedrooms Elevator, laundry, intercom High speed internet 607-273-9462 www.ithacarenting.com

23 PARKING

Westbourne Manor is looking for Graduate Students interested in a room furnished / unfurnished for Fall 2012 Academic Year. Free off-street parking, laundry/ kitchen on site. $550.00 utilities included.

Questions, (607) 229-3478

Arts and Crafts Style House on North Campus.

Two bedroom with hardwood floors, fireplace, dining area with built- ins, and upstairs attic loft. $1180.

Available 8/16.

Two bedroom (one room is converted porch) with large living room with high beamed ceilings and hardwood floors. $1180. Available 8/5.

Cats allowed. 257-0313

HOUSES, APTS, PARKING

Friday 04/20/2012 at 7:00PM Barton Hall - Gymnasium viewing starts at 7:00PM. iPod, bicycle, calculators, watch, and more. If you would like to see list of items send request to lostandfound@cornell.edu

Big, bright, mini-kitchen.

Free internet & 50” HDTV in lounge.

Laundry, parking. 607-273-9462 www.ithacarenting.com

519/521 Wyckoff Rd.

Studio, 1, 2, 3 & 6 BDR’s Elevator, intercom, high ceilings.

Dishwashers, laundry, internet.

Parking available. 607-273-9462, www.ithacarenting.com

Amazing NEW luxury units to open August. 10-mo. lease, incl heat.

All NEW incredible view, floor-to-ceiling windows, right next to campus, 309 Eddy St. Off street parking avail nearby.

Call Nick 607-256-3778 or nick@lambrourealestate.com

CU Police Lost&Found Auction

s

26 A PARTMENT FOR R ENT

We

Coming July 2012!

Come Visit Our

Featuring a Built-in Model Apartment 325 College Avenue Monday-Friday 11AM-6PM Saturday 12PM-6PM Novarr-Mackesey Property Management showroom@ithacastudentapartments.com www.ithacastudentapartments.com 607.277.1234

LIKE US ON FACEBOOK!!!

www.cornellsun.com

26 A PARTMENT FOR R ENT

26 A PARTMENT FOR R ENT

1 Bdrm.

Mt. Pleasant Properties

Furnished. Short term.

Close to CU. $690 incl. Elec/Gas. 607-564-9057

1.5 miles past Vet school.

Studio, 1 and 2 bedrooms with free internet, standard cable, dumpster and parking. Pets allowed with deposit.

On bus route 43. Great for grad/Vet students.

Call for availabilities. www.kimballrentals.com 257-0313

THE IVY - 2012-13 111 S. Cayuga Street Spacious 3 bedroom, 3 baths.

Elevator, laundry, A/C. 607-273-9462 www.ithacarenting.com

COLLEGE AVENUE I 1 BEDROOM APTS 607-272-3389 AVRAMISRENTALS@AOL West Campus University Ave. 2 & 3 Bedroom Apts.

Large bedrooms & living areas.

Includes heat. Laundry.

Fully Furnished.

607-339-1137

1 bedrooms. Close to CU. $390 plus utilities, no pets, credit checks 607-564-9057

27 H OUSE FOR R ENT Collegetown, gorgeous 4 story house.

5 huge bedrooms; can house 9 people.

Open plan kit/dining/living.

2nd livingroom. Amazing kitchen.

2.5 baths. High quality; beautifully furnished.

Porch, garden and free parking.

607-277-0910 pjapartments.com pjapartments@gmail.com

29 S UMMER S UBLET

30 SUBLET

2 Bedroom College Ave

Looking for an apartment?

Furnished. Large bedrooms & living space.

Parking & Laundry on premises.

607-339-1137

1Personals 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32

1-Bedroom Cottage with working fireplace, nice deck and yard. 125.5 Eddy St, corner of Eddy and Cook Sts. $895/mo, Aug-Aug, free street parking.

Call Nick 607-256-3778 or nick@lambrourealestate.com

1 bedroom.

Prime downtown location; quiet building, onsite mgmt/maintenance; Includes laundry, parking, heat, internet, trash removal; partially furnished; A/C; available May - 8/3/12; $850/month; S. rmw6@cornell.edu Cayuga Street contact: S

SPACIOUS 1 BR APTS. Linden Avenue Fully furnished.

Includes heat.

339-1137

The Sun’s Classified Headings

26 A PARTMENT FOR R ENT

CLASSIFIED AD RATES Ads are accepted at The Sun‘s office at 139 W. State Street downtown, by phone or e-mail.

Deadline: 3:30 p.m. at The Sun‘s office on the day preceding publication. Monday’s deadline: Friday, 3:30 p.m. at The Sun office.

I’m subletting a large quad at Gun Hill that could house up to 6 people.

Call Will at (316) 841-7967 for more information.

Personals Adoption Notices Services Dining and Entertainment Graduation Housing Travel Ride Wanted Lost and Found For Rent For Sale Automobiles Bicycles Motorcycles Computers & Electronics Lots of common space F Up to 9 people Auctions_ and Sales Help Wanted Position Wanted Business Opportunities Wanted Wanted to Buy Wanted to Rent Parking Roommate Wanted Rooms for Rent Apartment for Rent House for Rent House for Sale Summer Sublet Sublet Commercial Space Pets

18 THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Thursday, April 19, 2012

THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Thursday, April 19, 2012 19

www. cornellsun. com

20 THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Thursday, April 19, 2012

SPORTS

Red Prepares to Take On Quakers on Road BASEBALL

Continued from page 24

MONICA SUH / SUN CONTRIBUTOR

#forthewin | Freshman Quoc-Daniel Nguyen won his singles match on Sunday, contributing to the team victory.

Men,Women End Season This Weekend TENNIS

Continued from page 24

beaten us.”

One area where Tanasoiu said he sees a definite need for improvement is in the Red’s doubles play, as the team did not come away with one doubles point this weekend.

“We still have a hole in our doubles play, and I think that’s obvious by now,” he said. “We are putting ourselves in a very challenging situation after the doubles point, but the guys have been able to bounce back in spite of that and they fought extremely hard.”

Despite this setback, the team is focusing on its other strengths, according to Nguyen.

“I think we have definitely

changed our mindset to focusing on trying to break down our opponents more mentally and physically,” he said. “I feel like we have worked a lot harder than the other teams, we are fitter than them and mentally tougher than them.”

The Red will play its final two matches of the season this weekend, hosting Penn at Reis Tennis Center on Friday and then traveling to Princeton, N.J., on Sunday to face the Tigers.

“Coming into those matches I think that we have a lot more confidence after our Yale match on Sunday,” Nguyen said. “I think things are coming together really well … [It is the] last two matches of the season and hopefully we can end on a good note

by wining both of those matches.”

Although the season is drawing to a close, this is still just the beginning for Tanasoiu, as he just took control of the Red squad a few months ago.

“This weekend, in my opinion, is a test to what happened in the previous one,” he said. “I would like to see [if we are] consistent enough to maintain the same level of play, the mentality … I want to see if we can sustain that in the next one and if that’s the case, we will have a very good chance to win both of those matches.”

Dani Abada can be reached at dabada@cornellsun.com.

looked like it was about to stage another comeback in the seventh when senior Frank Hager hit a single to load the bases, but Siena reliever Jim Meindi was able to work out of the jam.

This weekend, the Red will head to Philadelphia, Pa. for its penultimate Ivy League regular season series. The team has played well on the road, sporting an 18-5-1 record. The Quakers (15-17, 6-6) are coming off three losses to Princeton, the second place team in the conference. The Quakers did come away with one win, though — a 5-4 victory in nine innings — and one of their losses to the Tigers was by one run.

“We’re expecting a tough opponent,” said junior infielder Brenton Peters. “We’ve got to go into the series with a lot of confidence.”

The Quakers are led by juniors Greg Zebrack and Ryan Deitrich, who are batting .378 and .333 respectively and have driven in a combined 46 runs on the season. Zebrack is coming off Ivy League Player of the week honors two weeks ago after the Quakers swept Yale and defeated Big East powerhouse Villanova. The junior hit .588 in five games while knocking in ten runs and hitting for the cycle on the week. Senior Vince Voiro leads the staff with a 5-2 record in seven starts and

a 2.53 ERA. The Red, although it dropped mid-week games, has received some honors as well.

Sophomore pitcher Connor Kaufmann, who threw a complete game no-hitter earlier in the season, received his second Ivy League Pitcher of the Week honor for his complete game victory against Columbia.

Freshman Brian McAfee gave up no runs and only three hits in an eight-inning performance, also against the Lions, earning him the Ivy League Rookie of the Week.

Sophomore Chris Cruz–who is hitting .309 and leads the team in slugging percentage at .659–hit his 11th homerun of the season against Columbia, tying him for the program record for homeruns in a season. “[Cruz] has come up huge in big-time situations,” Peters said. “I’ve never seen somebody with as crazy power as he has.”

After facing off against the Quakers this weekend, the Red will have to prepare for its final Ivy League series against the Princeton Tigers. The series will likely decide the winner of the conference, as the Tigers on the Red’s tail, just one game back in the win column.

“Everyone in our division is right there with us,” Peters said.

“It’s probably one of the most competitive [divisions] I’ve seen so far.”

Scott Chiusano can be reached at schiusano@cornellsun.com.

Dean Gears Up for Century Wexler Discusses Aliens and Bromance Intercollegiate Tournament WEXLER

Continued from page 23

GOLF

Continued from page 24

Kohler’s 70. Senior John Dean and sophomore Carl Schimenti supported them with solid rounds of 76 and 77, respectively.

“We started off real well in the first round on Saturday,” Dean said. “I don’t know how it happened, but we lost our rhythm and momentum going into the second round on Saturday and kind of blew up. We had a good finish on Sunday, but it’s unfortunate we messed up the second round.”

The team shot 24 strokes higher in the second round, with only Schimenti improving from his first round score. Esposito and Koehler both saw significant drop offs, as they shot scores of 84 and 82, respectively.

“Consistency is clearly an issue,” Dean said. “With the second round … We had an awkward break in our time between rounds and may have gotten a little stiff and mentally weren’t quite there going into the beginning of the second round and it clearly showed in our first few holes of the second round. If you don’t count our second round, we were right in the thick of things.”

Cornell finished strong with a team score of 294 in the final

round, led by Schimenti’s oneunder 70. He finished tied for 27th in the 74-player field to lead the Red. This invitational also afforded the Red an opportunity to stake out some of its other Ivy League competition. According to Schimenti, the Cornell team came away impressed, as the golfers realize the tough competition they will face in the upcoming weeks. All five Ivy League teams in the field finished ahead of the Red. The Red has another chance to top the other Ivy League competition this upcoming weekend at the Century Intercollegiate Tournament. The Cornell team recognizes that this tournament may be more difficult than the last due to the course, according to Dean.

“We’re going to try and do our best to maintain consistency throughout the tournament, and put in two solid rounds in this two-round tournament,” he said.

“It may get a little interesting, since the course we’ll be playing on will be pretty difficult compared to Princeton’s course. We’ll definitely have to work on our long game to make sure its fine tuned for this weekend.”

Albert Liao can be reached at aliao@cornellsun.com.

runner obviously I don’t smoke, but I used to tell them I was out smoking but had been in the party. It was always just a fun game to play, seeing who could get into the party first without standing in line. I was definitely the best at that, sneaking my way through.

And if the sweet-talking failed ... ?

I think we resorted to a couple things — a couple open windows, occasionally. Really anything to avoid standing in line for something.

8. For the sake of being told I would get an interesting response if I asked this: what is your opinion on aliens?

I’m not a big alien supporter. My freshman roommate, Matthew Cato ’12, is a firm believer in aliens. We’ve had many a debate on the topic. So if anyone wants a solid debate on aliens, just find Matt Cato. He should be walking around somewhere. ... Whatever Cato believes, I’ll

believe the opposite.

That’s pretty much how it works.

9. Is women’s track co-captain Molly Glantz ’12 at all jealous of your bromance with her boyfriend Josh Vick ’12? [laughing] Yes, she’s got to be jealous. Me and Josh have a special bond, and it’s looking like we’re going to be living together next year in Chicago. I think she’s pretty jealous. He enjoys coming to the

it’s looking like this summer we’re going to go on The Price Is Right.

That’s happening?!

Oh, it’s happening.

You and Danny?

Oh yeah — me, Danny, maybe [Chris] Arlinghaus ’12. So it’s looking like we’re going to get on the show. I mean, the goal is to get on there — meet Drew Carey, spin the wheel.

We’ve been practicing the way you run down the aisle — we’ve been

“I’m a sucker for WALL-E. I really connected with WALL-E.” Steven Wexler meets to watch her run, but also to watch me run. I mean, I’d probably be jealous as well ...

Josh is a great man — if he wasn’t going out with Molly he’d probably go out with me, basically.

10. If you had to choose between being a voice in a Pixar film, or being a contestant on The Price Is Right, which would you choose?

Pixar voice is my long-term dream, but

practicing that, we’ve been practicing our bidding. There’s a lot of research that goes into it.

And long-term goal would be Pixar?

Yeah, definitely just want to be a voice. I want everyone who knows me to go watch a movie and be like “Ahh — that was Wex!” I don’t know how one gets into that industry, but I feel like you would be good at that.

I’ll find a way! I’ll find a way.

Do you have a favorite Pixar film?

I’m a sucker for WALL-E. I really connected with WALL-E. I’ve never seen it.

Great film, you’ve got to see WALL-E — it’s your classic story of the nice guy — or robot — always coming in second. But by the end *spoiler alert* he gets the lady and casually saves the world. I look up to the little guy.

And how does one get on The Price Is Right, as a contestant?

They have the audience, and then they spend time before the show interviewing everyone. So you just have to be an interesting person ... I’m going to do some more research into that to really be their signature person.

They love old ladies, so that’s going to hurt our chances.

I’ll have to send them a copy of this interview.

Yep, absolutely.

Alex Kuczynski-Brown can be reached at akb@cornellsun.com.

THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Thursday, April 19, 2012 21

SPORTS

SOFTBALL

Cornell Prepares for Challenging Schedule This Weekend

By LUCAS PITMAN Sun Contributor

The softball squad (19-6, 10-2) heads to Hamilton, N.Y., to face Colgate (15-19, 9-3) Thursday at 3:30 p.m. Previously slated as a doubleheader, the trip north is now just a sole game. According to reports, a pitcher from Colgate has sustained an injury, while another key member of the pitching staff left the team, diminishing reliable options and forcing a cancellation of the second scheduled matchup.

“Lately, we have not been able to get many complete games so we will most likely go with several pitchers and use this game as a tuneup for our upcoming series against Penn,” said head coach Dick Blood.

Over the past 10 games the Red has managed to put up five or more runs on seven occasions.

Furthermore, four players are maintaining a batting average over .300.

Additionally, three players in particular are flexing their muscles at the plate, teeing off for at least six or more home runs this year alone.

“Colgate’s number one pitcher,

who will go Thursday, is very solid and throws very hard,” Blood said.

“They also have a very outstanding infield crew which also presents a test for us.”

“They are a team that is comparable to the teams we play in the Ivy League,” said senior infielder Erin Keene. “[There will be] good competition, a chance to see some good pitching and to really get a feel for what we are going to see this weekend.”

Irrespective of Thursday’s outcome the Red will be in a prime position to have a shot at winning an Ivy League title.

“This week we have been focusing mentally on the weeks coming up,” Keene said. This is the most challenging part of our Ivy League season coming up and every game counts. We are just trying to stay in the zone mentally and keep focused on one game at a time and one team at a time and take it from there.”

Another factor that will play a major role in Cornell’s ability to move forward is its upcoming showdown with Penn.

“This weekend is a very huge

weekend for us,” Keene said. “Penn is a really good team and they are our biggest contender right now in the South division, so it’s going to

be huge ... I think that every game that we can win helps the momentum continue and it’s important for us to win ... Just to get used to it and

to make winning a habit.”

Lucas Pitman can be reached at sports@cornellsun.com.

HEART OF COLLEGETOWN APARTMENTS: Studio, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 10

HOUSES:

8 or 14 people

PARKING

Collegetown Center Collegetown Plaza Collegetown Cour t plus other proper ties

607-272-3000

c

or n

e lls

Please visit

www.ithacarenting.com to see pictures, prices, lease, floor plans, tour schedules RENTING OFFICE: 119 DRYDEN ROAD

u n .c om

cornellsun.com

Tell The Cornell Daily Sun and get a chance to be one of 5 lucky winners of a $10 gift card to CTB! Visit www.facebook.com/cornellsun for more information.

22 THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Thursday, April 19, 2012

THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Thursday, April 19, 2012 23

SPORTS

WITH

T E N

Q U E S T I O N S

S T E V E N

By ALEX KUCZYNSKI-BROWN Sun Senior Writer

Two years ago — before she was even 10 Questions Girl — Alex Kuczynski-Brown ’12 promised Steven Wexler ’12 of men’s track and field fame, that he would have the opportunity to be 10 Question-ed. This past Monday, on the patio of CTB, she finally made good on that promise. They discussed his various natural abilities, which include but are not limited to painting murals in the track house, doing “the Bernie,” and eating expired food. Wex also shared his strategy for getting on The Price Is Right, and how he hopes he doesn’t get into another fight with a hurdle at this year’s Heps.

1. For starters, I wanted to ask about your high school track days — namely, what was it like going to rival high schools with current teammate Tom Randall ’12?

Yeah, I went to Don Bosco which is right down the road from Tom’s school.

Heated rivals in football and everything.

Obviously our school was the smarter, stronger school in the rivalry. It was neat, though — me and Tom got to know each other. Tom has admitted he would have gone to Bosco if he could choose it again. ... [The rivalry] causes some weeks in the house where I don’t talk to Tom, or he doesn’t talk to me — during the week when they play each other back home.

There’s a lot of pride in our high school and stuff, which is neat. It’s a lot different from other areas. When Tom isn’t paying attention I have been trying to convince his puppy that it’s name is Bosco instead of Zander — I think that would give me the rivalry win for life.

If you could explain the phrase “Bend over Bosco.” [laughing] You know, I think it’s pretty self-explanatory. Bergen [Catholic] [is full of ] pretty immature guys, so they’ve got to resort to some low blows about Bosco, but we are definitely the eye of all the lady schools around the area. They’re always looking to hang out with the Bosco guys, so I think Tom’s school gets a little jealous.

Is it true you used to wear superhero tee shirts to track meets?

That is true — I got roped into it, I promise. But I was the Flash. We had Batman and Superman ... I was the Flash, you know, lived up to it ... speedsuit as well — everything, all included.

So you discontinued this tradition when you came to Cornell, is that right?

I discontinued it. Nobody was on board with me. I lost all my sidekicks, so I wasn’t able to continue.

2. I know Heps are coming up in a few weeks, so in anticipation of that I was wondering if you could talk about your “fight with the hurdles” at last year’s Heps?

Last year I had the race of my life; people still talk about it to this day — about how demoralizing it was. I got up to the ninth hurdle in the lead, and I fell over the hurdle. I still beat a Dartmouth guy, which I was pretty proud of. But yeah, I fell, it was brutal. The announcer was quoted saying [does announcer voice] “The race leader just ate it, what a bummer.” It was pretty demoralizing, so hopefully this year goes a little better.

What did Professor Dale Grossman have to say about your performance?

My roommate Danny [Hagberg ’12] told her about how he won the hurdles, which she was obviously very proud of him for. And then [laughing], he told her about how I fell, which she found pretty amusing. She felt bad — she felt for me, but she thought it was pretty funny. It was pretty comical, I can look back on it

W E X L E R

TRACK AND FIELD and laugh now. On that note, I would like to give a shoutout to Professor Grossman for being such a great Big Red athletics supporter — she is really great.

Is there video of this race?

There is video proof, oh absolutely ... you know, I watch it occasionally to see if it measures up with all the hurdle fails on YouTube. I do not plan on uploading it on there anytime soon, though.

3. What is “the predator”?

The predator — you know, we all have a little predator inside ourselves. ... I’m pretty competitive at most things I do, and the predator is what comes out, the competitive me. If I want something, I’m going to get it, and that’s the predator. It’s an exclusive club — some of my roommates are fellow predators, but it’s a tough crowd to join, I’d say.

When does this come out in practice?

In practice occasionally it will come out. I wish I could do the predator trot right now, but I don’t know if I can do it here, in Collegetown. The predator will come out in practice sometimes ... that’s when people really see what it’s all about.

4. Apparently you’re quite the artist — what can you tell me about the giant mural you painted in the track house?

In our house we have some neat things that we’ve just done out of pure boredom.

We have a cereal kitchen wall, so it’s a bunch of cereal boxes that line our kitchen. And I decided to paint a mural of the Ivy League running on our wall.

Our landlord’s not too happy about it, but it’s a work of art.

How long did it take you to do this mural?

It took about a week. I definitely took a vacation from classes and focused on my artwork.

Where’d you learn to paint like this?

Well, it’s natural. Most of my talents are just natural ability.

And you left Brown out of the mural?

I did leave Brown out. I like to say it would have messed up the evenness of the sides, but I mean ... Brown’s Brown.

And regarding this cereal wall, how many cereal boxes are there would you say?

That’s a good question. I don’t really eat the cereal, but I helped assemble the wall, and it’s a lot. It’s quite the spectacle.

You don’t eat the cereal, though?

No. Oh, because I was going to ask you, of

these cereal boxes — how many were expired when you ate them? Because I understand you have this tendency to eat expired food. [laughing] Yes, I will eat anything ... one time I ate a whole box of 1994 muffins. Any challenge I’ll take on regarding expired food.

Where did this habit come from?

You know, it’s more just — I believe you live longer if you get your body used to all that expired bacteria. People believe I don’t eat this stuff and make up stories ... but it’s just another feat of mine.

Your teammates seem to think you got it from your grandfather, who you always refer to.

Oh yeah, my grandfather — he’ll eat anything and I’m really just trying to continue his legacy. My grandpa Big Al would also not be too happy if he heard the guys were mocking his ability to eat anything. I am sure he still has a mean right hook.

Speaking of your stomach and intestinal fortitude, I’m told you can do some crazy stripper belly rolls. How’d you develop this skill?

The belly roll is definitely something through the years I’ve developed. No one can do it quite like me. It’s definitely a back-up plan in case my career ambitions don’t work out.

Can you explain the mechanics of this belly roll you’ve perfected?

If you just picture the best belly-roller you’ve ever seen ... it’s that times about two. It’s very attractive.

Do the ladies really take to that?

I’d like to think so, but who knows.

There’s a girl out there who’d be into the belly roll.

Apparently you’re also the best at doing “the Bernie.” What does that entail, and how’d you get to be so good at it?

The Bernie’s a move that swept the nation, and it’s more you bend your back back ... and just Bernie it up. I’m very talented at the Bernie.

How’d it get its name?

I believe it’s from the movie Weekend at Bernie’s.

Oh okay, that would make sense.

It’s almost like a limp body — I pride myself on my Bernie ability.

5. Why does Tom Randall call you “the mayor”?

Tom likes to think I know a lot of people and I like to just be the nicest guy to

OLIVER KLIEWE / SUN SENIOR PHOTOGRAPHER

I C.U. | Junior Steven Wexler talks more than just sneakers and hurdles, revealing his best dance moves and his tricks for sneaking into parties.

a lot of people. I guess he just thinks I know a good amount of people around here. It mostly comes from home as well, where Tom just believes that I would go around as if I was the mayor and just meet everybody.

Well I feel like I’m receiving conflicting information here, because one of your teammates claims that you are “the biggest hater” he knows, and that you always talk down to people from states that are not New York or New Jersey. So what do you have to say for yourself?

I have a lot of New Jersey pride. I believe that’s Chris Bain ’14 — I met his parents, and they just loved me right from the start. And they invited me to Texas whenever I wanted. And basically Bain got a little jealous of that, and started telling people that I hate on Texas. That’s false — I love Texas and everything about it. Everything’s big there. Bain’s not too big of a guy, so I think he missed out on the “Everything’s bigger in Texas.”

Is this why you want to marry a girl from Texas?

Yeah, I love Texas. I hope to move there eventually and settle down with a nice Texas girl.

Anyone in mind right now?

No, no. Just a belly-rolling-Bernielover who enjoys my artistic ability.

6. Why the propensity for sleeping in closets?

I’m a sleepwalker — you never know when I’m just going to pop up somewhere. I’ve woken up in a closet before, I’ve also woken up in my roommate’s bed midweek. Everyone’s usually shocked by this, I’m so used to it I kind of just act like it’s normal at this point.

I don’t know if this goes along with your sleepwalking, but your freshman year roommate claims you used to speak Spanish in your sleep.

That’s a fact. When I’m conscious I’m not very good at Spanish, but apparently in my sleep, I’m fluent. The talents are just endless.

7. I guess this has something to do with you being “the mayor,” but what was your strategy for getting into parties freshman year?

I used to tell the bouncers that either my cousin was in the frat, or occasionally I’d say I was out for a smoke. As a track See WEXLER page 20

The Corne¬ Daily Sun

Sports

THURSDAY APRIL 19, 2012

24

TENNIS

Red Picks Up Speed as Season Nears End

By DANI ABADA Sun Assistant Sports Editor

OLIVER KLIEWE / SUN SENIOR PHOTOGRAPHER

Doubled up | On Saturday, freshmen Sara Perelman (above) and Gabby

Sullivan won their doubles match to secure the point and later, team victory.

Both the men’s and women’s tennis teams came away from the weekend with a win and a loss apiece.

On Saturday at Reis Tennis Center, the Red (9-8, 1-4 Ivy League) defeated No. 48 Brown, 43.

“On Saturday we played Brown and had a very exciting win over the 48th ranked team in country,” said head coach Mike Stevens. “It was a very good [win], it showed the women on the team that their hard work paid off. They were playing well, it was a good win for the team.”

Saturday’s victory over Brown (16-6, 2-2) was the Red’s first in Ivy League play this spring.

“We knew they were a really strong team but we didn’t want to lose,” said freshman Sara Perelman.

“We came out super strong with doubles. We have been wprking super hard … and focusing a lot on double and keeping momentum going.”

However the next day, when Cornell hosted No. 28 Yale (16-3, 40), the team did not fair as well, falling to the Bulldogs without raking up a single point.

“Yale is a very good team,” Stevens said. “They have been ranked in the top-20 and now they are 28 in country, so they are very good and they showed it. They are in great shape, they work hard and they

acted very professional on the court.

Some of the matches were pretty good for us and some of the matches we just weren’t as good as the Yale players. It was good for our team to see that’s how they need to play and what they need to work towards as far as getting better. I certainly think that next year we can be at that level and that’s certainly their goal.”

Despite the loss on Sunday, the Red is staying positive and focused on the future, according to Perelman.

“Yale is really good, so we just tried to do the best we can so use that match to prepare for net weekend,” she said. “We have tow really beatable teams and if we win that would be a really good end to the season.”

Cornell plays its last two games of the season this weekend, traveling to Penn for a match Friday, and returning home to finish up at home on Sunday against Princeton.

“We know our matches will be great, as far as exciting and close we are certainly looking forward to the challenge,” Stevens said. “We just want to make sure we can end the season on a good note. Our goal is to win them both — we know we can beat them, but it’s going to be tough.”

The men also saw some improvement this weekend on the road, falling to No. 64 Brown (165, 2-2) on Saturday and then rallying to beat Yale (13-8, 2-2) on

Sunday.

On Friday, the Red (8-15, 1-4) came close to a victory, but ultimately fell, 4-3 to Brown.

“I was very pleased with how they fought; even though we lost against Brown I thought they put a great effort out there,” said head coach Silviu Tanasoiu. “We had a few chances and we weren’t able to capitalize on them as we had in the past. I told the guys it’s just a matter of time. We are putting the work in, we are doing the right thing and it’s just a matter of time until we turn the corner.”

And turn the corner they did, as on Saturday, the Red beat Yale, 4-3.

The victory marked Cornell’s first Ivy win of the season.

“In the Yale match we came out and played great tennis in all six spots,” Tanasoiu said.

“We came away with a great win that I know that a lot of people were looking forward to getting. Overall it was a very productive weekend.

The guys proved to themselves that if we are going to stick to the plan, we are going to come on top eventually.”

However, both the matches were close, according to freshman QuocDaniel Nguyen.

“Both matches could have gone either way — it was pretty tight,” he said. “We could have beaten Brown but Yale could have also See TENNIS page 20

BASEBALL

C.U. Falls in Non-Conference Play

By SCOTT CHIUSANO Sun Assistant Sports Editor

The Red dropped a nonconference series for only the second time this season. The squad was defeated by Siena in a doubleheader on Tuesday, 6-2 and 5-4 respectively. Despite the losses, the Red has an important fourgame Ivy series with Penn this weekend to prepare for.

The two losses, which came at home, were the Red’s fourth and fifth losses on Hoy field this season, putting it only one game above .500 on home turf.

The Red (25-10-1, 10-2 Ivy League) did not have an answer for Siena’s pitching — as it was one-hit in the first game — the lone single coming off the bat of freshman Kevin Tatum. In the second

game, Cornell jumped out to an early 2-0 lead when junior catcher Chris Burke hit a two-run single up the middle with bases loaded in the second inning. The Saints rallied back against junior and senior pitchers Mike Kazley and Patrick Lewicki, making the score 5-4 going into the bottom of the sixth. The Red See BASEBALL page 20

TINA CHOU / SUN STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER

Keeping up | At the Princeton Invite, the Red had difficulty playing past day one.

GOLF

Cornell Posts Strong Start Among Ivy Competition

By ALBERT LIAO Sun Staff Writer

Cornell’s golf team got its first look at most of its Ivy League competition this year at the Princeton Invitational over the weekend. The team performed solidly in the first round, with sophomore Max Koehler

leading the way with a 70 — his first under-par score of the year — to a team score of 289, just three strokes behind Yale and Georgetown for the lead. The team fell apart during the second round, finishing with a team score of 313, putting the Red in eighth place. After a strong final round,

Cornell finished eighth in the 14-team field.

In the first round, everyone on the team played consistently, with sophomore Craig Esposito finishing with an even-par 71 and sophomore Zack Bosse shooting a 72 to back up See GOLF page 20

MONICA SUH / SUN CONTRIBUTOR

Outta the park | Sophomore Chris Cruz hit his 11th homerun of the season.