TRYING TO BE FUNNY SINCE 1880
sThe Corne¬ Daily Sun Vol. 130, No. 420 News Trustee Leak
The list candidates for President David Skorton’s replacement has been leaked. Rob Ford is a top candidate. | Page 3, duh
CORNELL-SUNDAY, APRIL 20, 2014 ! RAIN PUDDLE, AMSTERDAM Opinion Hello?
Dining
The Sun’s sophomore managing editor talks about what it’s like to be a sophomore. | Page -1
Brownies for Days
Paco Paco ’17 takes a look at the best homemade brownie shops across town. | Page 007
What’s paper? – It’s free, man
Science
Sports
Weather
Surprise!
Yay Sports!
What do you expect? HIGH: -75° LOW: -200º
Cornell researchers have discovered that marijuana affects one’s exam performance. | Page 42
Despite their massive loss, a Cornell athlete says, “We’re still going to win the next one.” | Page qwerty
Gates Hall Shatters
Students to glue shards back together
By A VEGETABLE Sun Distinguished Turnip
SUE BARU / SUN STAFF SNAPCHATTER
NO MORE CARS!
Administration gets it all over with: all C.U.roads permanently closed
Cornell has begun talks with the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation in an effort to gather $15 million in funds after the glass exterior of Gates Hall was shattered by a stray Hoy Field baseball Saturday. “We’re looking to just glue the whole thing back together,” said Herbert Hershee, dean of computing and information science. “What happened to Gates Hall was an unfortunate freak accident, but we are confident that the Gates Foundation will back us up during this tough time.” According to Hershee, the incident occurred when Gus Hardballs ’14 launched a baseball flying at nearly 100 miles per hour toward Gates Hall Saturday afternoon, during a home game against Columbia University. Hirsch said that previously, the location of Gates Hall had not been deemed hazardous because it is aligned with the bottom edge of the field. “We did not expect such a large portion of the building to shatter from just one broken window,” Hershee said. It was a chain reaction of sorts, and when it happened we were all just kind of like, ‘seriously?’” According to a University press release, no students were injured when significant portions of the exterior cracked and fell away, though there were numerous noise complaints. Efforts to pick up the fallen shards were completed in about four hours and 20 minutes, and the University plans to use about 40,000 gallons of hot glue to fix them to the
frames sometime this summer with the assistance of computing and information science students. “All that’s left is the money,” Cornellius Haze, vice provost for glass buildings, said in a statement. “But I hear Bill Gates has a lot of it.” Some CIS students, however, noted that the increased light and fresh air resulting from the lack of windows might be of benefit to students. See GATES not in the paper
KELLY CONNORS / SUN SNAPCHAT EDITOR
By ANN KNEE
bright side, now all of you can ditch your cars and enjoy the physical benefits that come In a move University admin- along with walking up our istrators deemed “absolutely thousand-or-so hills on camnecessary,” all roads on campus pus.” will be closed indefinitely to Students across campus were motor and vehicular traffic due outraged after the University’s to additional construction pro- announcement and Simon’s jects. comments, demanding that he “Look, we’re giving the “find a way” to alleviate the whole damn campus a facelift repercussions associated with and that’s why the road clothe roads are sures. “I totally understand closed,” said “I’ve orgaGregory P. that people are up in nized a group Simon ’63, vice of around arms about this.” president for 4,200 students, roads and sewand we’re Gregory P. Simon ’63 ers. “We had marching to Gates Hall and Day Hall right Klarman Hall, and now we’re this moment to fix this someplanning to expand projects to how,” Irma Protesteur ’16 said. all of West Campus, that one In response to the large garden behind the Plant Science amount of student backlash and Building and Okenshields.” community response, the Roads will remain open to University agreed to implement buses and bicycles, Simon said. yet another construction project Simon also said he believes — moving walkways on every the road closure will not be of road, sidewalk and dirt path on “great inconvenience” to the campus and a ski lift on Libe Cornell community. Slope — whose estimated cost “Look, I totally understand is approximately $420 million. that people are all up in arms See ROADS page 14853 about this,” he said. “But on the
Sun Senior Snoozer
The Sun Kisses Print Good-bye To publish only on‘far superior’website starting next week By COFF ELOVE Sun Senior Snapchatter
Starting next week, The Cornell Daily Sun will abandon its print edition and will be exclusively available online due to recent budget cuts and the whole “dying industry thing.” Several Cornell students and faculty members said they are excited for The Sun to make its online transition, noting the “far superior” quality of the website. “When I think of a high quality, flawless website, I think of The Sun’s,” said Prof. Taleesha MacDonald, electrical and com-
puter engineering. “The website runs impeccably fast — it’s a great representation of the University’s academ i c
So long to all that | The Sun’s inaugural issue (above right) was published on September 16, 1880. The Sun’s editorial staff has announced the cessation of print operations “with no apology for our disappearance.”
excellence.” Former Sun Editor in Chief Snailey Lox ’13 said she “can’t even” express how important the change is. “It’s perfect for us! This will eliminate print corrections and everything that embarrasses the newspaper,” she said. “Short on content? Not an issue — the website will just mysteriously go offline for a day or two. This is off-the-record, right?” Rob Malchandhaniam ’15 said the structure and style of the website nearly “brings him to tears.” “As a computer science major and incoming summer analyst at Microsoft, I think I am sufficiently qualified to say that The Sun’s website is beautiful; the sight of the site brings me to tears,” he said. “The Wordpress and coding is a symphony of HTML.” See NEWSPAPER page 1880