04 21 14 entire issue lo res

TRYING TO BE FUNNY SINCE 1880

sThe Corne¬ Daily Sun Vol. 130, No. 420 News Trustee Leak

The list candidates for President David Skorton’s replacement has been leaked.

Rob Ford is a top candidate. | Page 3, duh

CORNELL-SUNDAY, APRIL 20, 2014 ! RAIN PUDDLE, AMSTERDAM Opinion Hello?

Dining

The Sun’s sophomore managing editor talks about what it’s like to be a sophomore. | Page -1

Brownies for Days

Paco Paco ’17 takes a look at the best homemade brownie shops across town. | Page 007

What’s paper? – It’s free, man

Science

Sports

Weather

Surprise!

Yay Sports!

What do you expect?

HIGH: -75° LOW: -200º

Cornell researchers have discovered that marijuana affects one’s exam performance. | Page 42

Despite their massive loss, a Cornell athlete says, “We’re still going to win the next one.” | Page qwerty

Gates Hall Shatters

Students to glue shards back together

By A VEGETABLE Sun Distinguished Turnip

SUE BARU / SUN STAFF SNAPCHATTER

NO MORE CARS!

Administration gets it all over with: all C.U.roads permanently closed

Cornell has begun talks with the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation in an effort to gather $15 million in funds after the glass exterior of Gates Hall was shattered by a stray Hoy Field baseball Saturday.

“We’re looking to just glue the whole thing back together,” said Herbert Hershee, dean of computing and information science. “What happened to Gates Hall was an unfortunate freak accident, but we are confident that the Gates Foundation will back us up during this tough time.”

According to Hershee, the incident occurred when Gus Hardballs ’14 launched a baseball flying at nearly 100 miles per hour toward Gates Hall Saturday afternoon, during a home game against Columbia University. Hirsch said that previously, the location of Gates Hall had not been deemed hazardous because it is aligned with the bottom edge of the field.

“We did not expect such a large portion of the building to shatter from just one broken window,” Hershee said. It was a chain reaction of sorts, and when it happened we were all just kind of like, ‘seriously?’”

According to a University press release, no students were injured when significant portions of the exterior cracked and fell away, though there were numerous noise complaints. Efforts to pick up the fallen shards were completed in about four hours and 20 minutes, and the University plans to use about 40,000 gallons of hot glue to fix them to the

frames sometime this summer with the assistance of computing and information science students.

“All that’s left is the money,” Cornellius Haze, vice provost for glass buildings, said in a statement.

“But I hear Bill Gates has a lot of it.”

Some CIS students, however, noted that the increased light and fresh air resulting from the lack of windows might be of benefit to students.

See GATES not in the paper

KELLY CONNORS / SUN SNAPCHAT EDITOR

By ANN KNEE

bright side, now all of you can ditch your cars and enjoy the physical benefits that come In a move University admin- along with walking up our istrators deemed “absolutely thousand-or-so hills on camnecessary,” all roads on campus pus.” will be closed indefinitely to Students across campus were motor and vehicular traffic due outraged after the University’s to additional construction pro- announcement and Simon’s jects. comments, demanding that he “Look, we’re giving the “find a way” to alleviate the whole damn campus a facelift repercussions associated with and that’s why the road clothe roads are sures.

“I totally understand closed,” said “I’ve orgaGregory P. that people are up in nized a group Simon ’63, vice of around arms about this.” president for 4,200 students, roads and sewand we’re Gregory P. Simon ’63 ers. “We had marching to Gates Hall and Day Hall right Klarman Hall, and now we’re this moment to fix this someplanning to expand projects to how,” Irma Protesteur ’16 said. all of West Campus, that one In response to the large garden behind the Plant Science amount of student backlash and Building and Okenshields.” community response, the Roads will remain open to University agreed to implement buses and bicycles, Simon said. yet another construction project Simon also said he believes — moving walkways on every the road closure will not be of road, sidewalk and dirt path on “great inconvenience” to the campus and a ski lift on Libe Cornell community.

Slope — whose estimated cost “Look, I totally understand is approximately $420 million. that people are all up in arms See ROADS page 14853 about this,” he said. “But on the

Sun Senior Snoozer

The Sun Kisses Print Good-bye To publish only on‘far superior’website starting next week

By COFF ELOVE Sun Senior Snapchatter

Starting next week, The Cornell Daily Sun will abandon its print edition and will be exclusively available online due to recent budget cuts and the whole “dying industry thing.”

Several Cornell students and faculty members said they are excited for The Sun to make its online transition, noting the “far superior” quality of the website.

“When I think of a high quality, flawless website, I think of The Sun’s,” said Prof. Taleesha MacDonald, electrical and com-

puter engineering. “The website runs impeccably fast — it’s a great representation of the University’s academ i c

So long to all that | The Sun’s inaugural issue (above right) was published on September 16, 1880.

The Sun’s editorial staff has announced the cessation of print operations “with no apology for our disappearance.”

excellence.”

Former Sun Editor in Chief Snailey Lox ’13 said she “can’t even” express how important the change is.

“It’s perfect for us! This will eliminate print corrections and everything that embarrasses the newspaper,” she said. “Short on content? Not an issue — the website will just mysteriously go offline for a day or two. This is off-the-record, right?”

Rob Malchandhaniam ’15 said the structure and style of the website nearly “brings him to tears.”

“As a computer science major and incoming summer analyst at Microsoft, I think I am sufficiently qualified to say that The Sun’s website is beautiful; the sight of the site brings me to tears,” he said. “The Wordpress and coding is a symphony of HTML.” See NEWSPAPER page 1880

OPINION Letter

The Corne¬ Daily Sun Stuck in High School Since 1880 THE 132ND EDITORIAL BOARD, MOST LIKELY TO MAKE THE SUN GO BANKRUPT HALEY VELASCO ’15

Most likely to turn The Sun into a Chris Christie campaign headquarters

CATHERINE CHEN ’15

TYLER ALICEA ’16

Most likely to ditch business for fashion

Most likely to takeover The Sun in a coup

CAROLINE FLAX ’15

ZACH STEELE ’15

Most likely to believe anything she hears

Most likely to sell his soul for ads

NICK DE TULLIO ’15

SCOTT CHIUSANO ’15

Most likely to become a starving artist

Most likely to bitch about his superlative

RACHEL ELLICOTT ’15

ALEX REHBERG ’16

Most likely to leave us for some cool startup

Most likely to make it to Hollywood

ELIZABETH SOWERS ’15

KELLY YANG ’15

Most likely to start begging for new designers

Most likely to never be without her camera

CONNOR ARCHARD ’15

NOAH RANKIN ’16

Most likely to be yelled at for getting too close to a fire

Most likely to become the next Beyonce

ANNIE BUI ’16

ANUSHKA MEHROTRA ’16

Most likely to fall asleep on the job

Most likely to suffer from obsessive selfie-taking

KAITLYN TIFFANY ’15

SEAN DOOLITTLE ’16

The Arts & Entertainment Editors are too cool for superlatives.

KATHLEEN BITTER ’15

Most likely to become a rocket surgeon. ... That’s a thing, right?

What she said

KAY XIAO ’16

Most likely to make The Sun overeat ... oops, too late

CHARDAE VARLACK ’15

SYDNEY ALTSCHULER ’16

Most likely to make The Sun seem cool (FINALLY!)

Most likely to end up on television

EMILY BERMAN ’16

ANNA FASMAN ’16

Most likely to make sports relatable

Most likely to be on the Teletubbies

NICOLE HAMILTON ’16

MANU RATHORE ’15

Least likely to go to art school

Most likely to hide in social situations

EMMA LICHTENSTEIN ’16

KATHLEEN SHIM ’15

Most likely to get a real job after working at The Sun

Most likely to not have a Twitter

LUISE YANG ’15

CHRISTOPHER UHLER ’15

Most likely to dislike people

Most likely to go into party planning

ARIELLE CRUZ ’15

ALEXA DAVIS ’16

Most likely to use Quark forever

Most likely to succeed

MICHELLE FELDMAN ’15

Most likely to have some fabulous marraige proposal

DARA LEVY ’16

Most likely to be Anna Fasman’s ’16 agent

JAYNE ZUREK ’16

Most likely to steal InDesign

WORKING ON TODAY ’S SUN No one. We give up.

Editorial

In Support and Opposition To Calling For A Clarification of the Meaning of MOOCs, The Expansion Of All Services, The Prioritization Of Students’ Needs And Someone for Some Elected Position

PLEASE SEE THE ABOVE HEADLINE FOR EDITORIAL. That pretty much covers it.

On betrayal: An open letter to Taco Bell President Brian Niccol To the Editor: We, the Cornell Branch of the Marijuana Majority — comprised of signee organizations including Gilman Hill Farming Cooperative, the Ultimate Frisbee Teams, the Underwater Hockey Team, the Interfraternity Council Commission on Mental Health and Recreational Activities, the Experimental Film Club, The Cornell Daily Sun Arts and Entertainment Section, Cornell Cinema, that dude who’s always reading on the Arts Quad (you know where) and other organizations representing a diverse array of Cornell students whose total amounts to 16 percent of Cornell’s undergraduate population — would like to publicly condemn Taco Bell President Brian Niccol for actions carried out at an Ithaca Taco Bell location on April 20.

While students across campus were celebrating Easter Sunday, catching a few rays on the Slope or recovering from a particularly grueling Wine Tour weekend, the Ithaca Taco Bell — located near Northside Liquor on Route 13 — had functionally disappeared. Between the hours of 9:00 a.m. and 3:00 a.m., not a single Crunchwrap Supreme, Cheesy Gordita Crunch, Loaded Potato Griller or Doritos Locos Taco passed through the drive-thru window. Fourth Meal, which that has become for many an important outlet for academic stress and inter-cultural dialogue, never happened, leaving many students distraught.

Following the creation of the offbeat delight that is the Waffle Taco, we began to trust you, Niccol. Your actions this past Sunday have proven that our confidence in you is misplaced, and may be better rewarded elsewhere — say, at Jimmy Johns, a business that sweetens the pot with its super convenient delivery services and whose sandwiches are agreed by many of our members agree to be “not that greasy.”

The CBMM’s allegiance to your organization is not something to be undervalued. We helped build you into a fast food impresario — we can just as easily tear you down.

(Please come back. They literally don’t sell Baja Blast anywhere else around here.)

The Entirety of CBMM

Letter

New President?

I have some ideas To the Editor: Re: “BERRY PATCH: Hey, Mr. President,” Opinion, March 14.

After reading your piece on the potential candidates for President of Cornell, I realized that they were all terrible. The Big Red Bear? LIKE, HE IS A BEAR. Get some common sense, and to everyone important who is reading this (because obviously I am so important that everyone is reading this), I think I have some ideas on who would make a good next president. Except for what you guys said about Denise Cassaro, that was genius.

First of all — and I guess we are going to have to hear how he is when he speaks at Convocation — but Andy Bernard ’95 would be a great choice. He just loves Cornell and goes out of his way to let everyone know that he went there. If that isn’t dedication, I do not know what is. And on Graduation Day, if he does a good job, we might as well just give him the job, am I right? If he’s a good speaker I don’t see why not. I have high hopes that he will be fab.

Secondly, 3LAU. I don’t know what everyone is talking about, I know who he is and he is GREAT. He just really knows how to drop a beat. What a great quality to have in a university president. With his understanding of beats, he will definitely be able to keep his hand on the pulse of the University. See what I did there? Clever, right? Also that jaw line. But I digress.

Thirdly, we should definitely be giving Frank Underwood a call. He may be busy as President of the United States or whatever, but he is the epitome of leadership. We need someone like that leading us. Or his wife. She is fierce.

Finally, I have to reiterate what I said before. Denise Cassaro is a great idea. Like the more I think about it the more I like it. HER EMAILS ARE SO COLORFUL. DENISE FOR PRESIDENT. Miss Opinionated ’15 P.S. Just some other thoughts: Olivia Pope, Schmidt, that guy I saw on campus wearing a suit or even that perspective student I met from Long Island who got in early decision who is going to be an Applied Economic and Management major. Or was it Industrial and Labor Relations? Whatever.

STOP WEIGHING IN. THE ASSOCIATE EDITOR OF THE SUN IS BEGGING YOU TO PLEASE DO SOMETHING ELSE WITH YOUR TIME.

INDEPENDENT SINCE 1880

The Corne¬ Daily Sun Vol. 130, No. 128

MONDAY, APRIL 21, 2014

!

ITHACA, NEW YORK

12 Pages – Free

News

Arts

Sports

Weather

Politics of Language

Heating Up the Haunt

Big Red Win

Mostly Sunny HIGH: 77° LOW: 46º

Kenyan writer and activist Ngugi wa Thiong’o spoke about language and African history Thursday. | Page 3

The men's lacrosse team defeated Brown on Senior Day this Saturday.

MC Danny Brown performed at the Haunt this Friday.

| Page 12

| Page 8

C.U. Commemorates Anniversary Univ. Releases Updated Of Willard Straight Hall Takeover Climate Action Plan

By SOFIA HU

Update includes policy recommendations

By SLOANE GRINSPOON Sun Staff Writer

The Campus Sustainability Office — in collaboration with the President’s Sustainable Campus Committee — released an update to the University’s 2013 Climate Action Plan last week.

The update, called the Cornell Climate Action Plan Update and Roadmap 2014-15, outlines the actions Cornell will “Cornell is commited to a undertake over the next two 2050 neutrality target, years to meet the “Neutrality, Innovation and Leadership” and ... we will evaluate the goals outlined in the Climate feasibility of accelerating the Action Plan, which is the target date to 2035.”

University’s plan to decrease the campus’ net carbon emisProf. Ian Fahey sions.

President David Skorton officially outlined his plan to get the University to cut the net carbon emissions to zero by the year 2050 by signing the American College and University Presidents’ Climate Commitment in 2007.

Since then, additions to the Roadmap include a more specific listing of feasible actions the University can take.

According to the Roadmap, it’s “scope” is to determine actions each team can take over the next two years while holding action managers accountable to making the changes.

See CLIMATE page 4

Sun Staff Writer

Cornellians gathered in Willard Straight Hall Friday to commemorate the forty-fifth anniversary of the Willard Straight Takeover.

The Takeover’s commemoration featured cultural performances and speeches by student leaders, as well as keynote speakers Eric Acree, director of the Africana Library and Andrew Martinez ’12, advisor of ALANA Intercultural Programming Board.

Acree put the Straight Takeover into historical context by discussing the “narrative” of African Americans both before and throughout the course of the Takeover.

Beginning with William B. Bowler, the first student of African descent who enrolled in the University, Acree discussed the key and courageous roles activists played in advocating for black students.

“I look at the students that took over the Straight as courageous students,” Acree said.

“Some activists were unable to complete their education at Cornell because of the backlash they received. They were, in my opinion, sacrificial lambs for us today.”

Despite the progress that had been made since the Takeover, Acree said there were “still some things” that needed to be done in order to ensure student support.

Martinez also discussed the importance of continuing progress in his speech.

JASMINE CURTIS / SUN STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER

45 years | Eric Acree gives a keynote speech to commemorate the anniversary of the Willard Straight Hall Takeover.

“Every student has a chance to have a legacy and have an impact at Cornell,” he said. “It doesn’t have to be a takeover… [Thursday] was a great example of students coming together to express a concern on the governance of this campus.”

See COMMEMORATION page 5

Univ.Assembly Will Vote on Resolution To Stop Offering Free First-Year Bus Passes

Hadippa

By SOFIA HU Sun Staff Writer

KELLY YANG / SUN NEWS PHOTOGRAPHY EDITOR

Emma Crawford ’17, Sitara Patel ’17 and Kadambari Suri ’17 dance on Ho Plaza to promote the upcoming Pao Bhangra show.

The University Assembly will discuss and vote a resolution that calls upon the University to stop offering free TCAT bus passes for first-year undergraduates and graduate students Tuesday.

The TCAT sees an annual deficit of over $700,000, partially caused by an increase in first-year students who use the service, which has driven down the subsidy amount the TCAT receives per student.

The proposed resolution states that if Cornell cannot increase the subsidies it gives the TCAT — approximately $830,000 according to the Ithaca Journal — first year students will no longer receive free bus passes and will be offered the discounted OmniBuss pass that students can already purchase.

However, the issue of free bus passes is not new.

The bus passes were first given to freshman, transfer students and professional and graduate students in July 2005, when student protesters and

the University reached an agreement following the years-long Redbud Woods controversy.

Students, Ithacans and City officials protested parking lot construction there for several years over environmental and campus sustainability concerns.

In July 2005, the University began the construction of a 176-space parking lot currently standing behind West Campus, between Stewart and University Avenues. Planned and built as part of the University’s West Campus Residential Initiative, the parking lot required the razing of Redbud Woods — a woodland that grew up on estate grounds once owned by Robert Treman 1878 and his family.

Treman is best known for donating land to create public parks in Tompkins County, including Robert Treman State Park.

Between 2001 and 2005, the University contested the City of Ithaca Planning and Development Board’s attempts to stop the parking lot construction. In March 2005, the Tompkins County Supreme Court overturned the City’s refusal to grant

the proposed parking lot use approval.

In protest, hundreds of critics gathered in Ho Plaza as eight students chained themselves to then president Jeffrey S. Lehman’s ’77 office on April 28, 2005. The “Redbud Eight” lead an occupation of Day Hall that caused the building’s lockdown.

The protesters called the University’s plans to raze Redbud Woods hypocritical and demanded that the University save the woodlands. When the police removed the protesters and charged them with trespassing later that day, the administration still planned to move forward with the parking lot construction.

“When it comes to the parking lot, we are not changing our position,” said Susan Murphy ’73 Ph.D. ’94, vice president of student and academic services. “We believe in the design of the parking lot as part of the West Campus Residential Initiative.”

Following his release, one of the protesters, Danny Pearlstein ’05, told Murphy and dean of students Kent See TCAT page 5

2 THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Monday, April 21, 2014

Today

DAYBOOK

Monday, April 21, 2014

weather FORECAST

Daybook

Today How to Get Into (Or Out of) Showbiz With Robert Lieberman 7:30 - 8:30 a.m., 2573 Clara Dickson Hall Developing Your Professional Portfolio Noon - 1 p.m., 421 Computing and Communications Center Public Speaking Workshop 4:45 - 6:30 p.m., 153 Martha Van Rensselaer Hall C.U. Music: Xak Bejerken, Piano, With Guest Violinist 8 - 9:45 p.m., Auditorium, Barnes Hall

Tomorrow

Hi: 77° F Lo: 46° F Partly cloudy

Get out your flip-flops, shorts and tanks because spring has finally sprung! After last week’s sneak attack of snow, it looks like the warm weather is here to stay now.

Yes, it’s going to rain, but it’s better than a blizzard, right?

Hi: 68° Lo: 37° Showers The rain continues today, making for a somewhat dreary hump day.

Hi: 55° Lo: 30° Chance of rain

American Red Cross Blood Drive Noon - 5 p.m., Memorial Room, Willard Straight Hall Earth Day Gallery Walk 4:30 p.m., Johnson Museum of Art

We survived the rain! Today’s forecast looks pleasant, so make sure to get outside if you have a chance.

Hi: 61° Lo: 36° Clear

Science Cabaret: Let’s Talk About the Weather 7 p.m., Lot 10 Lounge

More warm weather for the start of the weekend.

Screening of Taxi Driver 7:30 p.m., Willard Straight Theatre

Hi: 70° Lo: 45° Chance of rain

TUE WED THU FRI

— Compiled by Aimee Cho

www.cornellsun.com

The Corne¬ Daily Sun INDEPENDENT SINCE 1880 Editor in Chief

Haley Velasco ’15

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Business Manager

Catherine Chen ’15

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Postmaster: Send address changes to The Cornell Daily Sun, 139 W. State St., Ithaca, N.Y. 14850.

NEWS

Kenyan Activst,Writer Talks Politics of Language at Cornell

THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Monday, April 21, 2014 3

Mouthwatering

By LUSINE MEHRABYAN

African and other local literature.

“The way departments were organized was as if British national literature was the standard,” he said.

African writer and activist Ngugi wa Thiong’o and “[But] we were saying our journey can begin anywhere filmmaker Ndirangu Wachanga spoke about the role of in the world — [that] if you are in Africa, Africa [can language and culture during the period of Britain’s col- be] your starting point.” onization of Kenya at Cornell Thursday.

At the event, Wachanga screened part of his new According to Ngugi, a central theme in his early documentary called Ngugi wa Thiong’o: The River work comes from this period of colonial rule.

Between Indigenous Languages. He said his inspiration “A colonial story about Kenya cannot be told from for making a documentary of Ngugi began seven years the point of view of the colonizer,” ago. he said. “The colonized must also “A colonial story cannot “This is part of the history of my be able to tell their story from the be told from the point of country … as an information scientist I point of view of their struggles for often turn to archives, but in the absence view of the colonizer.” liberation.” of archives I turn to testimonies,” Ngugi said he was interested by Wachanga said. “I use [Ngugi] as the axis the implications that language can Ngugi wa Thiong’o around which narratives about colonial have in politics — and how in and post colonial period can be “colonized” situations, the colonizer always makes the anchored, [and] his autobiography as a way to shine colonized speak their own language or put their lan- light to the biography of East Africa.” guage as the standard of value.

Wachanga said Ngugi’s method of storytelling “The colonized must find some way of connecting impacted his journey in making the documentary. with their own languages as the starting point,” he said.

“I am interested in the architecture of memory — “All languages have their own musicality, beauty, possi- what we remember, how it is remembered, what we forbilities and limitations, but the way we are made to get and repress,” Wachanga said. “My interviews have experience language is through hierarchy.” exposed me to stories of struggles, dreams of indepenWhile a lecturer of English literature at the dence, national failures and collective triumphs.”

University of Nairobi in the 1960s, Ngugi said he worked to change the name of the English department Lusine Mehrabyan can be reached at to “English literature” to reflect world literature with lmehrabyan@cornellsun.com.

Sun Staff Writer

KELLY YANG / SUN NEWS PHOTOGRAPHY EDITOR

Students enjoy Indian cuisine at the Society for India’s formal Saturday.

C.U.Recalls Anniversary of Rwandan Genocide With Panel

By JONATHAN LOBEL

ties to prevent genocide and ethnic cleansing, declaring this to be a “legal and political duty” to The Institute for African their populations at the 2005 Development honored the 20th World Summit.

Dieng closed his address, sayanniversary of the Rwandan Genocide with a roundtable dis- ing the best lesson people can cussion Thursday, whose speakers draw from the Rwandan genoincluded Adama Dieng, the cide is that “prevention is a better United Nation Secretary- strategy than intervention after General’s Special Adviser for the the fact.” “[Countries need a commitPrevention of Genocide, Consolee Nishimwe, a survivor ment] to build and strengthen of the 1994 Rwandan genocide, existing institutions to prepare and act,” he said. and several Cornell professors.

According to Prof. Muna Prof. Kifle Gebremedhin, biological and environmental engi- Ndulo, law, one of the main neering, opened the event as the problems in Rwanda was the lack moderator and referenced a of an international response. He recently published article in said there was a need for counGlobalPost that claimed the tries to improve their domestic world learned “nothing from the and international policies in this 800,000 men, women and chil- regard. “[Countries] dren [who] have a responsiwere slaugh“[Countries] have a bility to protect tered in the course of 100 responsibility to pro- other peoples,” Ndulo said. days in 1994 tect other peoples.”

“Atrocities con[in Rwanda].” tinue to happen, “Rwanda Muna Ndulo so clearly the remains a scar world still has to on the conscience of humanity,” Dieng said. learn [many] lessons.”

According to Ndulo, states He added that the possibility of genocide today is still “high need “early warnings” to aid them and real.” Vast human rights vio- in preventing the conditions that lations are occurring in Darfur, make genocide possible.

“It is much easier to prevent the Central African Republic, South Sudan and Syria as mil- genocide than to intervene once lions have perished in these coun- it is already happening,” he said.

“Action is highly unlikely withtries, he said.

While the United Nations rec- out early warning.”

Prof. Nicolas Van de Walle, ognizes the sanctity of states, according to Dieng, this does not government, addressed changes grant states the right to treat their in the world that have occurred populations in whatever manner since the Rwandan genocide — such as economic improvement they desire.

Dieng added the language of in the African Great Lakes region, the United Nations charter — which van de Walle said was a which states that external inter- “regional mess” 20 years ago.

Though van de Walle said vention “shall not be used in the [protection of ] common interest” conditions in certain places in — is ambiguous and leaves many Africa such as the Sahel region have deteriorated, he also said the questions unanswered.

However, he said that states African Union is a much acknowledged their responsibili- “sounder” organization than it Sun Staff Writer

was 20 years ago.

Democracy has become much more legitimate in Africa and military rule has become much

more illegitimate, van de Walle said. He also said there has been “real progress” in Africa, noting the rapid technological and eco-

nomic growth occurring there.

Jonathan Lobel can be reached at jlobel@cornellsun.com.

4 THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Monday, April 21, 2014

NEWS

Updated Roadmap Includes Policy Recommendations CLIMATE

Continued from page 1

According to Prof. Tim Fahey, natural resources, co-chair of the president's sustainable campus committee, the new Roadmap is a more up-to-date plan for the University’s immediate future.

“Perhaps the single most important component of the new update is the indication of the resources that will be needed in order to continue the progress towards carbon neutrality,” he said.

“The resources are generally identified following the list of steps under each action.”

According to Fahey, the update includes several new elements.

This includes a list of several policy recommendations the university plans to undertake, such as the implementation of an “efficiency standards policy” for equipment purchases and the establishment of a campus-wide policy for “reduced fossil-fuel consumption among Cornell-owned vehicles.”

The Roadmap also outlines the future of the “Think Big, Live Green Campaign,” an engagement program that seeks to educate and involve faculty and students on green initiatives and issues on campus. The initiative was piloted last Fall, according to Fahey.

Though 2050 is still the official target date for carbon neutrality, President David Skorton has indicated recent intentions to accelerate this goal to a target date of 2035.

To read the rest of this article, please visit cornellsun.com.

Sloane Grinspoon can be reached at sgrinspoon@cornellsun.com.

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NEWS

Student: Discussion of Takeover Is ‘Insightful’ COMMEMORATION Continued from page 1

Martinez was referring to Thursday’s Student Assembly meeting, held in the same room. The S.A. meeting — where the Ad Hoc Committee of Student Democracy took control and withheld President David Skorton’s and Vice President of Student and Academic Services Susan Murphy’s ’73 Ph.D. ’94 speaking time -— was still fresh on many of the audience members’ minds, as leaders of both the S.A. and the Ad Hoc Committee attended the commemoration.

“Yesterday, we saw a very good demonstration of shared governance and we also saw an instance where people said, ‘Maybe what we currently have established isn’t quite what we want,’” said Ulysses Smith ’14, S.A. president. “Hopefully going forward, we will be able to work collectively to change, but leaving here today, let’s not forget where we came from and who we are supposed to be serving.”

Anna-Lisa Castle ’14, an organizer and speaker of the Ad Hoc Committee, also said there was a need to continue the progress of advocating for students.

“The history of the Straight Takeover needs to be a living history. If student government is failing the students who are underrepresented or marginalized, it is our responsibility to continue the fight that our predecessors started,” she said. “That’s what happened yesterday, and that’s what we’re celebrating today.”

The event was prefaced by the Black Students United’s discourse with Prof. James Turner, Africana studies, and a historic tour of the Wari House Cooperative, where a cross was burnt the day before the Takeover.

Selam Gebre ’14 said Turner’s discussion on the legacy of the Straight Takeover was “insightful.”

“According to Professor Turner, the legacy [the black students] left included the institutionalization of a commitment to embrace and advocate for black students on campus,” said Gebre, who is a co-emcee of the commemoration event. “Most importantly, he mentioned their legacy of social responsibility and advocacy for solidarity and cooperation here at Cornell.”

Sofia Hu can be reached at shu@cornellsun.com.

’05 Pact Hiked Ridership TCAT

Continued from page 1

Hubbell ’67, “You have disgraced the University today.”

Two months later, the environmental activists again protested against the University as more than 80 students, professors and Ithacans tied and chained themselves to trees and ground pipes, forcing construction workers who had already felled a few trees to stop, The New York Times reported.

The protesters and University officials began weeks-long negotiations and reached an agreement on July 17, 2005. The Redbud Woods Working Group allowed the University to continue with the parking lot construction, in

exchange for free transit passes to first and second-year students.

In the months following the agreement, TCAT ridership increased by 15 to 20 percent, The Sun reported in January 2006.

Two years after the agreement, the University stopped offering secondyear students bus passes, citing the end of a survey on transportation.

Meanwhile, TCAT ridership continued to increase, seeing record ridership for six consecutive years and reaching over four million total rides in 2012.

To read the rest of this article, please visit cornellsun.com.

Sofia Hu can be reached at shu@cornellsun.com.

THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Monday, April 21, 2014 5

OPINION

David J. Skorton |

The Corne¬ Daily Sun

Thoughts for Earth Day 2014

Independent Since 1880 132ND EDITORIAL BOARD HALEY VELASCO ’15 Editor in Chief

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Editorial

In Support of A Democratic Process AT THURSDAY’S STUDENT ASSEMBLY MEETING, members of a group called the Ad Hoc Committee for Student Democracy took control, instituting their own agenda and controlling the speakers list. This group not only introduced Resolution 72 — which was tabled indefinitely at the Student Assembly meeting April 10 — but also discussed issues such as compensation for graduate students, Haven’s elections and ALANA funding. While we are glad that groups that have felt marginalized on campus had the opportunity to speak, we are wary of the precedent these events may have on how issues will be presented to the Student Assembly in the future.

We understand the frustration of those who presented Resolution 72 to the Student Assembly on April 10. We said in an editorial last Monday that the Student Assembly — regardless of the subject matter — should have allowed for a full discussion when the issue was first brought to the S.A. However, in this situation, the Student Assembly voted to table Resolution 72 indefinitely and chose to not give students the opportunity to discuss the resolution until after the fact.

On Thursday, we saw the Ad Hoc Committee act in a similar manner, where they minimized the voices of other groups. By introducing their own agenda and controlling the speaker’s list, this group presented only one side of arguments on various issues.

Again, we saw the democratic process disregarded in pursuit of presenting a particular group’s opinions. While we agree that all students should be able to have a voice on campus, we do not approve of any voice being heard over others.

We also take issue with the fact that the President David Skorton’s time was so blatantly disregarded. His role in attending the Student Assembly’s meetings is to foster communication with students regarding current campus issues. Skorton directly spoke to the group, saying, “If we’re not going to talk with each other, you’re doing the same thing to me that you’re accusing others of doing to you.” The compromise was to add Skorton to the open mic list, limiting his time to speak to three minutes total. In that time, he noted that the students who felt underrepresented could have attended his office hours to discuss these issues, but they chose not to do so. We believe that those students represented by the Ad Hoc Committee for Student Democracy should have attempted to exhaust all democratic avenues to present their opinions to the University before resorting to Thursday’s events. We urge groups who feel like their opinions are minimized on campus to try to facilitate conversation between the University and other organizations on campus before taking such drastic measures.

We agree with the notion that all students should have the opportunity to present their opinions. However, following the actions of the Ad Hoc Committee for Student Democracy on Thursday, we are concerned that instead of hearing issues in a fair and democratic manner, the Cornell community will continue to see individual stakeholders monopolize the conversation.

From David

T

omorrow, April 22, is Earth Day, the tion competition also is currently underway 44th anniversary of what many con- in almost all North Campus residence halls, sider to be the birth of the environ- with living units tracking their energy use mental movement and an opportunity for on a real-time energy dashboard. The winall of us to consider the health and ners will be announced later this month.

The Student Sustainability Guide, prospects of our shared planet and what we can do as individuals and as a university sponsored by the Campus Sustainability community to live more sustainably and Office, Sustainability Hub and Campus Life, offers many ideas for making small effect positive change.

As someone who on the first Earth Day changes that can make a big difference on was driving a bright red “muscle car” with a and off the campus — from buying local V8 engine and a hefty appetite for leaded goods and produce, to adjusting our laptop gasoline, I am encouraged by the collective settings to save energy, to using the free Big progress we have made since 1970, but also Red Bikes bike-share program for getting increasingly aware that there is much more around campus. In addition, there are curto do — and that all of us must help find rently nearly 30 sustainability-related stusolutions to safeguard our environment and dent organizations on campus that can help us put our good intentions into practice. live in a sustainable way.

Thanks to greater awareness, much of it Cornell is home to the Atkinson Center for a Sustainable Future, one of the world’s driven by students, a quarter of all dining premier centers for research on sustainabil- hall meals are sourced locally and sustainity and, among many other initiatives, the ably; the amount of waste sent to landfills organizer of the annual Jill and Ken Iscol each year has decreased by 700 tons since Distinguished Environmental Lecture. I 2005 (and the compost facility off hope you’ll join me for tomorrow’s Iscol Stevenson Road has become a new birding Lecture, featuring Luc Gnacadja, former hot spot); annual water consumption has executive secretary of the U.N. Convention dropped by 15 million gallons since 2005 to Combat Desertification, and our first and many more of us are carrying and using Iscol Lecturer from the global south. Mr. refillable water bottles to “Take Back the Gnacadja will also be participating in sever- Tap.” When last I checked, the water bottle al classes and other events during his visit to filling station outside my office had saved 16,338 plastic bottles from landfills, and Cornell.

With each new high-level report, it water fountains, many with bottle fillers, are located around becomes clearer to the campus, includme that the greatest ing in the dining challenges of our While individual actions are halls. time are global essential to creating a While individual inequalities, enviactions are essential ronmental sustainsustainable future, institutional to creating a sustainability and the able future, institudomains where these initiatives are also critical tional initiatives are problems intersect. also critical to reachScientists are now to reaching our ing our sustainabilivirtually certain, for sustainability goals. ty goals. As some of example, that you know, in 2007, human activities are at the urging of the causing climate change. The Intergovernmental Panel on student group KyotoNOW, I was one of the Climate Change, in a report on global original signers of the American College warming released last month, notes that and University Presidents’ Climate “there is strong evidence of impacts of Commitment, committing the university recent observed climate change on physical, to strive for carbon neutrality by 2050. biological and human systems.” Further, Since 2008, we have made major investthe report suggests that while every society ments in infrastructure and engaged the is vulnerable to the impacts of climate campus community in actions that have change, poorer communities tend to be reduced our gross emissions by nearly a third. Continuing our commitment to a more vulnerable to loss of health and life.

And just last week, the same intergov- low-carbon future, we are building a twoernmental panel found that greenhouse megawatt solar farm near the airport this emissions were rising faster than ever, and spring, and there is still time to help us governments are not doing enough to name the facility through a social media address the issue. Moreover, divisions contest that is running through the end of between wealthy and developing countries April.

Cornell’s Climate Action Plan, develare making it difficult to complete a global climate treaty by the target date of late oped by faculty, staff and students in 2009 2015, which in turn will make it difficult to and updated every two years, is our overarachieve the very low carbon pollution levels ching blueprint to move toward carbon that scientists think will be necessary by neutrality. Please take the time to read the plan at climateaction.cornell.edu. The latest 2050.

A greater understanding of issues related revision of the plan was approved by the to sustainability is something that all of us Board of Trustees in March and acknowlneed to develop, to act upon during our edges my endorsement of a Faculty Senate time at Cornell and to take with us beyond resolution calling for us to accelerate our the campus; and there are many resources efforts to achieve carbon neutrality. A faculavailable on campus to help. Cornell’s ty-administrative working group is currentminor in climate change is open to any ly developing strategies that could help us Cornell undergraduate, and we offer more meet a more aggressive goal of carbon neuthan 430 courses across the university relat- trality by 2035, and will report back to me ed to sustainability. The breadth of courses by June 1 with specific recommendations, across every college helped earn us recogni- which I will share with the campus.

In anticipation of the working group’s tion as the fifth “coolest school” in the report, and on the eve of Earth Day 2014, Sierra Club magazine’s ratings last year.

The EcoReps Program, additionally, let’s recommit to educating ourselves about trains 40 to 50 upper-level students each environmental sustainability, advancing our year in peer education and sustainable knowledge through rigorous research and behaviors through a two-credit CALS cap- doing all we can to change our behavior stone course offered each semester. EcoReps and our priorities to create a more sustainwork with residence hall directors and resi- able world. dent advisors in nearly all North Campus residence halls to run programs and compe- David J. Skorton is president of Cornell titions on recycling, energy conservation, University. He may be reached at david.skorton@cornell.edu. From David appears bi-monthsustainable eating and water conservation.

The Unplugged 2014 energy conserva- ly this semester.

THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Monday, April 21, 2014 7

OPINION

Eric Schulman |

Schulman’s Schtick

Ender’s Game and Divestment: The Price of Compromise

Web

Comment of the day “This move seems juvenile and counterproductive. While demonstrations of power like this may make people feel good, it stifles the hard work that S.A. reps actually do and are trying to accomplish.”

Cornell13 Re: “Students Take Control of Student Assembly Meeting,” News, published April 18, 2014

E

nder’s Game is Orson Scott Card’s best work and a pleasure to read.

The plot revolves around Andrew “Ender” Wiggins, who moves away from his scary big brother to a boarding school in space where he learns to fight aliens. Yes, this book sounds like a 10-year-old boy’s fantasy, but it seriously addresses childhood, empathy and human nature.

Ender’s Game transcends the science fiction label. It’s not just good science fiction; it’s a good novel in general. It captures the broad spectrum of human experience, which is surprising considering Card’s narrow mindedness about homosexuality. He has such a knack for making inflammatory comments about homosexuals that fans decided they couldn’t enjoy the film adaptation of his book knowing the royalties went to him.

Although fans didn’t miss out on much by skipping the Ender’s Game movie (science fiction movies surrounded by hype always disappoint), skipping the movie for political reasons seems extreme. Fans couldn’t find a middle ground between enjoying the movie and vocalizing their disgust with its author’s opinions. Obviously, speaking out is important, but abstaining from a movie because you personally give Card a few dollars in royalties is going overboard. I bring this up because fans went overboard protesting Ender’s Game in the same way as Cornell students have when the Student Assembly introduced Resolution 72. The resolution proposed Cornell divest its endowment from companies arbitrarily determined to be profiting from Israel’s occupation of Palestine. The S.A. tabled the resolution (the responsible decision, considering they weren’t elected to comment on global politics on the student body’s behalf), but the debate surrounding the resolution has been more of a screaming match (students literally yelled at each other after the vote) than the dialogue it should be.

The problem is that our campus and country are more partisan than ever — at least in terms of Science-Fiction and the Israeli-Palestinian con-

For dialogue, we must bend over backwards and hear both sides of the story. ...

Maybe, check out the blog written by the group you didn’t join. flict. Nobody objected to Ender’s Game’s release in 1986 even though Card made his homophobic views public knowledge by the early 90s. But, things have changed. Fan’s objection to the movie was overwhelming; partially because society increasingly accepts homosexuality, which is good, and partially because we don’t compromise anymore, which isn’t. This relates to our discussion on campus over Israel and Palestine’s future because partisanship prevents both sides from talking with each other — which is problematic considering that skipping dialogue over Israel’s relationship with Palestine for partisanship has bigger consequences than skipping a movie.

Students for Justice in Palestine brought the issue to Student Assembly, a neutral third party, in the form of Resolution 72 because SJP didn’t believe its detractors would compromise on meaningful action.

If we want dialogue about the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, we must go out of our way to listen to the other side. A big contributor to our one-sidedness is our newfound control over news with social media. We tend to miss out on or deliberately avoid opinions that challenge our way of thinking because social media insulates us to our friends and neighbors’ opinions. Generally, fans who know enough about Orson Scott Card to protest the movie are friends and don’t temper each other with their posts to Facebook and Twitter. In the same way, I doubt supporters and detractors of Resolution 72 are Facebook friends — or dominate each other's new feeds — considering how they kept to themselves during the meeting. The resolutions’ supporters probably spammed each others’ news-feeds calling to end the Israeli apartheid while those against it spammed each other with posts about standing up to an anti-semitic, sneak attack. For dialogue, we must bend over backwards and hear both sides of the story — which isn’t that hard considering most political groups have online blogs. Maybe, check out the blog written by the group you didn’t join.

You can easily pick sides in the controversies surrounding Resolution 72 and Ender’s Game, but I challenge you to compromise. If you skipped Ender’s Game for political reasons, go see it. If you feel guilty, attend a rally or make a donation supporting inclusion. Your political action is necessary and way more valuable than the petty amount you personally give Orson Scott Card in royalties. If you disagree with someone about Resolution 72, try understanding their point of view. Or don’t — Orson Scott Card would approve considering he refuses to understand why anyone might object to his opinions. We can’t move toward meaningful action until both sides are invested in each others’ interests. Both Israelis and Palestinians sincerely believe Israel is their home. Garnering enough political support for a resolution (or organizing a peace rally instead — now that the weather is good, I love excuses to be outside) requires cooperation. Unfortunately, we’re not at the point we can cooperate (although I’d love to be proven wrong). In the mean time, while the issues are fresh, we should drop the partisanship and start talking with each other.

Eric Schulman is a freshman in the College of Arts and Sciences. He may be reached at eschulman@cornellsun.com. Schulman’s Schtick appears alternate Mondays this semester.

Kai Sam Ng |

Cross-Eyed and Painful

When Debunking Gender Pay Gap Gets Awkward M

ark J. Perry and Andrew G. Biggs, scholars at the American Enterprise Institute, wrote in a Wall Street Journal column that the Obama administration’s push to close the gender wage gap is deceitful.

“The numbers bandied about to make the claim of widespread discrimination are fundamentally misleading and economically illogical,” Perry and Biggs claim, because once you control for educational background, job risk and industry, the wage gap between men and women disappear. The title proclaims that the “77 cents on the dollar” battle cry is a myth.

Part of Perry and Biggs’ argument focuses on the Obama administration’s use of aggregate wage measures to come up with 77 cents.

Comparing median weekly earnings of all men to all women fails to account that men work more, that men choose riskier jobs and that working mothers choose jobs with more flexibility. Aggregate wage measures are too blunt, and they are right. But repudiating aggregate wage comparisons for other factors like occupational choices and marital status muddles the issue of the gender wage gap, contrary to the word Perry and Biggs chose — “myth” — that implies they succinctly debunked the existence of the issue.

Attributing the “wage gap” to different occupational choices requires explaining why women “choose” lower paying jobs or “choose” jobs that happen to pay lower. “Women often choose fields of study, such as sociology, liberal arts or psychology, that pay less in the labor market,” they affirm.

Okay, sure: but why?

What is Perry and

Biggs’s explanation that women happen to choose lower-paying, less risky or flexible jobs? If women clearly know that they could earn more, why don’t they make their husbands stay at home so they could become financiers and engineers? To this, they remain oddly silent, playing the act of messengers simply describing the world as it is.

This deafening silence is revealing, for such questions are on the cusp of the rabbit hole of “choice” and social expectations that the debunkers seem keen to avoid. In trying to show that gender pay inequality is not so bad, the debunkers realize they must point fingers at a much larger, fractious and nebulous cause beyond “economic choice” that they simply do not want to touch.

It is easy to see why the debunkers, often in the neoclassical economics vein, tip-toe around discussing the “real cause,” for the cause is antithetical to the “rational expectations” metaphors they use. The intellectual historian Daniel T. Rodgers, in his elegant and eloquent book Age of Fracture, charts the rise of this rational expectations movement is closely tied with Chicago School economist Robert Lucas. “All the ‘irrationalities’ that psychoanalysts had relegated to the unconscious, that anthropologists had relegated to ‘culture’ … could be more compellingly explained by shifts in costs played out against stable preferences.

Economic actors did not simply react to economic information: Rather, Lucas maintained, they learned to anticipate economic actions, decoding the rules of thumb of other economic actors and

foreseeing their line of action.” Markets were aggregates of anonymous, fluid actors anticipating policy outcomes with lightning-quick accuracy.

Socially detached, with no gender, race and historical structural constraints, these rational actors made decisions based purely on their own preferences and resources. Situations that disadvantaged women in the work field like those that spurred the Fair Credit Reporting Act, among others legislative attempts to equalize the economic field for women, are delegated as mere footnotes in history.

The conceptual mismatch — using a model that assumes no structural constraints to test whether a structural constraint exists — is not only circularly reasoned, but awkward because it attributes the effects of real structural constraints on an individual’s “preference.”

“The choice of college major is quite free. …

Likewise, many women prefer to stay home with their children,” Perry and Biggs generalize.

Ramesh Ponnuru, writing in Bloomberg View, responds similarly: “There’s no reason to think that women will ever, on average, have the same preferences as men about combining employment and parenthood.” These explanations are unsatisfying.

Even within the highskill, high-paying jobs that the debunkers weirdly confine their analyses to, outright gender discrimination is rampant. It is possible that women choose to not enter these industries because they have ‘maternal instincts’ or ‘lack confidence’ — but it is just as likely that they are discriminated against. And regardless of biological imperatives

or confidence, it is unclear why we should embrace an economic system that values ‘feminine’ labor less than plain old labor.

Outside of the high-paying jobs that the debunkers focus on are minimum wage industries that are, more often than not, predominantly female than predominantly male. The trade-off the debunkers make between a smaller salary and more family time falls apart in these industries: Because of a lower wage, timekeeping clerks, maids and house cleaners must work full-time only to earn less. “If women were paid 77 cents on the dollar, a profit-oriented firm could dramatically cut labor costs by replacing male employees with females,” Perry and Briggs theorize. There is no need to speculate; the numbers show that firms already do this.

And for the econometrics nerds: Perry and Biggs fail to control that women could opt to work less because of smaller salaries. By conflating the relationship between wages on hours and hours on wages, their arguments are biased towards seeing the relationship as onesided.

The 77 cents figure might not be entirely accurate, and the gap might not be entirely d i s c r i m i n a t o r y.

Explaining the gender wage gap is awfully complicated, with factors jumbled on factors.

But don’t describe it as a myth and justify that with a stick diagram of supply and demand.

Kai Sam Ng is a senior in the School of Industrial and Labor Relations. He may be reached at kng@cornellsun.com.

Cross-Eyed and Painful appears alternate Mondays this semester.

A&E

8 | The Corne¬ Daily Sun | Monday, April 21, 2014

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT Danny Brown at the Haunt Cool Ranch Doritos and Classic Hip-Hop

BY CALVIN PATTEN Sun Staff Writer

Chances are pretty good that if, at some point last Friday night, you screamed out “Cool Ranch Doritos” with several hundred of your closest friends in reference to the smell of “stank pussy,” you were seeing Danny Brown at The Haunt. The one of a kind Detroit MC, in the midst of his Old Tour, brought plenty of energy, some outlandish clothing and his impressive array of songs to Ithaca. Along with DJ Skywlkr and openers ZelooperZ and Bodega Bamz, he presented an exciting, energy-packed show to the at-capacity venue.

Opener ZelooperZ, in tight silver leather pants and a matching hat, started things off well. While certainly the least known of the three acts, he does have an appearence credit on Danny’s “Kush Koma” and came out with the intention of seeing everyone turnt (I think he was already there). With a sound somewhat reminiscent of A$AP Rocky, ZelooperZ’s songs had easily repeatable choruses which helped the audience. His beats were also ideal for the occasion, with heavy bass lines to help get the people already amassing in front of the stage jumping and moving.

Spanish Harlem-based rapper Bodega Bamz came out next, toting a handle of Henessy. Bodega, touring largely off the success of his mixtape Strictly 4 My P.A.P.I.Z. has a style that in the vein of the Mafioso rap of fellow New Yorkers such as Raekwon and Big L. While certainly a respectable artist, Bodega’s songs did not work quite as well for

the scene. Most of the attendees were college students, who in general trended much closer to hipsters looking for a party than the classic hip-hop heads that Bodega likely appeals to. One particularly ironic segway involved Bodega yelling “fuck yeah” and the crowd responding with “still trapping.”

Broadly generalizing, I would guess the closest thing to “trapping” most attendees had been involved with was sharing some Adderall with their friends.

Ultimately though, Bodega was solid, with his A$AP Ferg featuring song “Amen” being the highlight of his set.

Finally, it was time for the main event, with Danny taking the stage along with his hype man and Skywlkr (ZelooperZ and the Bodega were also on stage, albeit mic-less). Danny was a spectacle unto himself — wearing tight COURTESY OF DANNY BROWN black pants under a blue and yellow, Mickey-Mouse-themed Kimono. In tures of almost every Danny Brown song, addition, he had on what can only be many have a bleak quality which could described as grandma glasses and had his hair potentially serve to undermine a crowd that stuck up in some sort of perm, with the top came to dance and jam. So while many portion dyed a fairly vivid green. After sever- Danny Brown Stans would cite personal cuts al songs, he took off the Kimono, revealing a like “Scrap or Die” and “Clean Up” as some Duck Dynasty tee shirt, complete with faces of Danny’s strongest work, they are notably of the Robertson family. When it comes to absent from his set list. strangest outfits in Hip Hop, Danny might Instead, a steady diet of staples like “Break have Kanye beaten.

It (Go),” the appropriately timed “Lie4” (“I Despite all of his well documented quirks got that income tax swag” never fails to make and eccentricities, Danny put on a show like me laugh) and the debaucherous “Blunts a professional. He effectively ran through the After Blunts” kept the crowd jumping, dancmore party friendly songs of XXX and Old, ing and sweaty. Danny did not waste time, keeping both serious fans and dilettantes into transitioning from song to song with rapidity, the performance. While rampant drug use keeping his energy high even as the crowd and explicit sexual activity are certainly fea- sagged a bit towards the middle of the set. His

unique voice actually sounded really good, something I was concerned about him replicating in a live setting, and several times he let out his goofy, trademark giggle. One brief pause before the final song did allow him to express his appreciation for “molly” (an acquaintance several audience members may have also made) before he surged into “Dip” to some of the loudest cheers of the night.

Then, his set completed, Danny wished Ithaca a good night, stuck his reptilian tongue through his famous gap tooth smile one last time and exited, surely looking forward to some well deserved blunts and brews.

Calvin Patten is a junior in the College of Agriculture and Life Sciences. He can be reached at cpatten@cornellsun.com.

Arts Around Ithaca Far From Canterbury: A New Musical

John Brown’s Body

7:30 p.m. Thursday through Saturday at the Schwartz Center

9:00 p.m. on Friday at the Haunt

Far From Canterbury, with book, music and lyrics written by Danny Bernstein ’14, directed and choreographed by Stephen Low, is a new musical based on “The Wife of Bath’s Tale” from Geoffrey Chaucer’s The Canterbury Tales. The musical follows a young knight and his two friends as they embark on a quest to figure out “that which women most desire.” Far From Canterbury: A New Musical will be performed at the Schwartz Center for the Performing Arts April 24 through 26, at 7:30 p.m. Tickets are $5.

COURTESY OFJOHN BROWN’S BODY

— Kaitlyn Tiffany

Le Joli Mai (The Lovely Month of May) Wednesday at 7:00 p.m. at Cornell Cinema

Cornell Cinema will present the 1963 French film Le Joli Mai (The Lovely Month of May) as the last installment in their Springtime in Paris series on Wednesday, April 23 at 7:00 p.m. The film paints a portrait of the spring of 1962 in Paris, the first spring of peace after 23 years of war. Directed by Chris Marker and Pierre Lhomme, the restored film was shown at the Cannes Film Festival in 2013 and was called “both a tender portrait of a city and an indictment of a way of life,” by Film Comment.

— Kaitlyn Tiffany

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

’90s reggae act, John Brown’s Body, native to Boston, Mass. and Ithaca, N.Y. will visit the Haunt on Saturday, April 26. The group has been credited with patenting a sound called “Future Roots Music,” based in reggae, as well as dubstep, electronic, hip-hop and ska, and have been referred to by the Village Voice as “reverent and revolutionary at the same time.” The group is on tour promoting their recent L.P., Kings and Queens, their first studio album since 2009. Tickets are $15 and doors open at 8 p.m.

— Kaitlyn Tiffany

THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Monday, April 21, 2014 9

A&E

Rebels With A Cause

“Now all the criminals in their coats and their ties / Are free to drink martinis and watch the sun rise / While Rubin sits like Buddha in a 10-foot cell / An innocent man in a living hell.”

— Bob Dylan, “Hurricane” “Congregations genuflect / Black robes brag, golden epaulettes / Freedom’s phantom’s gone to heaven / Gay Pride’s chained and in detention.”

— Pussy Riot, “Punk Prayer”

I

n 1975, Bob Dylan received a package. In it was an autobiography written by a former middleweight boxer who had spent the last eight years in a cell, dealing not only with the prison sentence that had wrongly taken away his freedom, but with the “anger and illusion” that had defined his youth. Without a doubt, this man had his fair share of flaws — he had spent his adolescence in and out of juvenile penitentiaries — but these lapses of character did not compare to the cruel, institutionalized bigotry that seemed to have led to his imprisonment late one night in 1967.

Dylan was hooked. Weeks later, the two met face-to-face and one of the greatest protest songs of the last half-century began to coalesce.

Rubin “Hurricane” Carter — the human rights advocate and former boxer whose wrongful 19-year imprisonment came to be detested around the world — died Sunday in his Toronto home. He was 76.

Carter’s death will, for good reason, prompt reflection on the life of a man who faced years of injustice with impressive dignity and intense resolve. But, seeing as coming to terms with one person’s entire life in a few short paragraphs is an essentially impossible task — and that this is, after all, an Arts and Entertainment section — I’d like to focus on music. Specifically, I want to address two questions. First, how did a protest song turn one man’s fight to clear his own name into a powerful symbol of the fight against racial discrimination and political oppression? And second, does this story, though harrowing, have any implications for protest musicians today?

As powerful as Carter’s story was in its own right, Dylan’s “Hurricane,” penned with Sam help from collaborator Bromer Jacques Levy, was so immensely effective in broadcasting Carter’s plight to the world because it clearly and logically laid out the details of Carter’s arrest, trial and imprisonment while also molding the inmate into an archetypal hero. In his eight minute journey through Carter’s nightmarish experience, Dylan masterfully portrays his subject battling the mess of crooked cops, coerced witnesses and complicit jury-members who wanted him imprisoned and dehumanized. To the tune of an angrily strummed chord progression and the swelling and receding of a lone fiddle tune, he walks step by step through the odyssey, from the murdered bartender found in a “pool of blood” to the lying witnesses who “drink martinis” while Carter rots away for a crime he did not commit. All throughout “Hurricane” is its legendary refrain, describing Hurricane as “the man the authorities came to blame,” who could have been “the champion of the world.”

Of course, as one Slate author writes, Dylan was “more of a storyteller than a fact-checker;” his retelling of this saga had to be tweaked to avoid lawsuits and Carter was never really all that close to becoming “champion of the world.” But that didn’t matter. Dylan’s “Hurricane,” immersed in the raw details of Carter’s case, was not meant primarily as a forensic argument, but as a parable for the astounding injustices committed by American lawmakers and law enforcers against African Americans. In crystallizing Carter’s experience into its essentials, he created a hero and helped pave the way for his eventual release (which would still not come until nearly 10 years later, despite his retrial in 1976). As for the song itself, Dylan never again played it after 1976’s Night of the Hurricane II, the final stop on his carnival-like tour to spread the word about Carter. Having served its task, “Hurricane” was decommissioned to this day, much to the chagrin of Dylan fans.

But, you might ask, how does this all translate to an age of hashtag activism, where social trends disappear as quickly as they skyrocket? As Malcolm Gladwell wrote in his searing critique of this sort of activism, networks are “messy” and subject to a “ceaseless pattern of correction and revision;” how does one make an impact when his or her message is constantly being distorted, diluted and, eventually, forgotten?

Well, the members of Pussy Riot certainly embody one option: Wearing the black hat. This Russian collective, which has captured the attention of millions of Americans, is influenced more by punk, anarchism and thirdwave feminism than the folk protest of the 1960s and 1970s. Yet, Pussy Riot still shares one key trait with Rubin Carter: the urge to protest for prisoners’ rights. Sure, they went about the whole thing backwards, going to prison for their protests rather than protesting their time in prison, and sure, they have taken on a persona of ironic and damn angry subversion (see their hilarious interview on The Colbert Report as an example) rather than saintliness, but Pussy Riot may be, for better or worse, the (strange and unnatural) heirs to Rubin Carter. Capturing the public’s attention, it seems, is no longer a matter of becoming a hero, but of embodying the anti-hero.

There’s No Place Like Brome

Sam Bromer is a sophomore in the College of Arts and Sciences. He can be reached at sbromer@cornellsun.com. There’s No Place Like Brome appears alternate Mondays.

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

10 THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Monday, April 21, 2014

Los Angeles Times Daily Crossword Puzzle Edited by Rich Norris and Joyce Nichols Lewis

ACROSS 1 Campus drilling gp.

5 Repairs, as a lawn’s bare spot 9 On the higher side 14 Fictional lab assistant 15 Be certain 16 Garbo of the silver screen 17 Man-made organic pump 20 Take care of 21 Start of Caesar’s incredulous question 22 GI rations 23 1040 publisher: Abbr.

25 Prefix meaning “high” 27 Dish not made from the reptile it’s named for 34 Kissing pair 35 Out __ limb 36 Get a feeling about 37 Feed bag morsel 38 Like a soloist on a dark stage 41 Fill up on 42 Barn-raising sect 44 Electrified particle 45 Falls behind 46 Pseudonym 50 “The Lord of the Rings,” e.g.

51 Encouragement “on the back” 52 Bog fuel 55 Capone nemesis Eliot 58 Triangular Greek letter 62 Finger-pointing perjury 65 Sing like Bing 66 50+ org.

67 Company with bell ringers 68 Shell out 69 Zebras, to lions 70 Actor Hackman DOWN 1 Narrow inlets 2 Folklore monster 3 Carryall with handles 4 They give films stars 5 Slalom item

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10 Logical proposition 11 Apple relative 12 To be, to Brigitte 13 “Peanuts” phooey 18 Tuning __ 19 Break in the action 24 Break in the action 26 Word with tube or pattern 27 Florida metropolis 28 Vision-related 29 Game with Skip cards 30 Mathematical comparison 31 Wee hr.

32 Grammarian’s concern 33 Lizards and snakes, for some 34 Do nothing 38 Use FedEx 39 Comical Costello 40 Clouseau’s rank: Abbr.

43 Cowboy’s hat 45 Reason for an ump’s safe call 47 Emmy winner Fey 48 Arctic expanse 49 It means nothing to Juan 52 Inferiors of cpls.

53 Tombstone lawman 54 Burn-soothing substance

Sun Sudoku

xwordeditor@aol.com

04/21/14

Puzzle #4

SAIL UP TO THE SUN

56 Mark from a surgical procedure 57 Having no doubt 59 Occurring as you watch it 60 Huckleberry Hound, for one 61 Songstress Murray 63 Conclusion 64 Plant gathering information

ANSWER TO PREVIOUS PUZZLE:

COMICS AND PUZZLES

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THE CORNELL DAILY SUN | Monday, April 21, 2014 11

SPORTS

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Laxers Back on Track With Senior Day Win Over Brown at Home M. LAX

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defense gave up just three shots in the third quarter, as compared to a combined 23 during the first half.

“You just [have] to feel it out at first,” Freshour said. “They ... [were] really going to the cage hard. We just [had] to support a little bit more there. Once we figured that out in the second half, I think we came out and handled that much better.”

“The game plan was to be aggressive today,” Kerwick noted.

“Defensively, we thought we matched up with them physically and athletically.”

Meanwhile, Donovan was putting on a show, jumping out from behind the cage to the left end to receive and bury a pinpoint pass from Hogan through traffic. A second Donovan goal from nearly the same spot gave the Red a commanding 10-3 advantage with one quarter to go.

From there, Lintner and the seniors comfortably massaged the lead before Brown nabbed four goals in the closing minutes to narrow the final score to 14-9, officially marking the end of the Red’s three-game losing skid.

“To get over that hump, it’s just great to get back to where we know we can be,” Freshour said.

The Red will look to hold momentum next week against rival Princeton on neutral turf in Bethpage, New York. With Harvard defeating the Tigers 9-8 Saturday, the Red needs a victory coupled with a Crimson loss at Yale to win the Ivy League regular season title and secure home field advantage for the crucial conference tournament.

“We say that the Ivy League is our ticket to the playoffs,” Lintner said.

“We’re not counting on an at-large [bid to the NCAA Tournament] by any means. The Ivy League is huge and we got to sort of pay attention to it, but it’s all about us. We focus on us and we prepare the right way for the teams that we’ve got up next, and Princeton’s that team. So we’re going to prepare for the Tigers this week and bring them our best.”

With the postseason quickly approaching, Kerwick said he thinks his team is still headed in the right direction after treading through a difficult mid-April stretch.

“We still have a long way to go, but the guys are working awfully hard,” Kerwick said when asked what the Brown contest told him about the Red. “If we continue to do that, good things are going to happen for this team.”

Chris Mills can be reached at cmills@cornellsun.com.

The Corne¬ Daily Sun

Sports

MONDAY APRIL 21, 2014

MEN’S LACROSSE

Donovan Nets Four in Ivy Victory

out,” said senior defenseman Tom Freshour.

While Knight held the Brown attack at bay, senior attackman and team goals leader Dan Lintner began his Scratching and clawing to keep pace with Harvard atop afternoon hat-trick with a patient wind and release after the conference standings, No. 12 Cornell (10-3, 4-1 Ivy) being found alone in open space by junior midfielder John used an explosive third quarter to edge Brown (6-6, 1-4), Hogan. A second unassisted goal from Brown’s Molloy was 14-9, Saturday in the Red’s final regular season game at later answered by a low strike from Lintner, giving the Red a tenuous 5-2 lead at halftime.

Schoellkopf.

“Great effort by Christian and Tom “Even though we didn’t play our “In the third quarter we and [junior defenseman] Jordan Stevens best today, we fought through it and came out and, like Coach and [junior long stick midfielder] had a very good second half and that’s Connor Hunt,” Kerwick said. what you have to do,” said interim said, we had one of the “Defensively [they] played very well. ... head coach Matt Kerwick. “Our third best third quarters we’ve They kind of solidified things for us in quarters haven’t been great lately, so the first half and then in the second half we kind of harped on that at halftime, had all season.” our offense stepped in and did their and I thought that was one of our best part.” third quarters in a while.”

Dan Lintner Looking for some second half The Red entered the afternoon redemption, the offense began to turn to hoping to avoid a fourth defeat in as many games, but the Bears struck first when Brown fresh- its eventual top scorer for the day, Donovan. The junior finman Dylan Molloy evaded a defender and converted from ished with four goals, two assists and some added leadership close range at 10:23 in the quarter. Just six seconds later the along the way.

“Once we started getting frantic in the first and second Red was celebrating, however, as senior midfielder Doug Tesoriero won the following faceoff and found junior attack- quarter and started dropping the ball, [Donovan] calmed us down and just told us to keep our passes sharp and move our man Matt Donovan on the left side for a 12-yard strike.

Two more Cornell goals put the seniors and company up feet,” Lintner said. “[In] the third quarter we came out and, 3-1 heading into the 15-minute mark, but the Red’s early like Coach said, we had one of the best third quarters we’ve lead rested largely on the shoulders of freshman goalie had all season.”

Senior midfielder Joe Paoletta joined in the Senior Day Christian Knight. Despite Cornell being outshot by Brown, 10-6, in the first quarter, Knight made five crucial saves, fol- festivities with an unassisted score off a scrum two minutes lowed up by five more in the second, masking his team’s ini- into the third. Fellow senior midfielder Connor Entenmann followed up with a shot rifled in from the right hash to put tial struggles.

“Christian played great that first half, really bailed us the Red up 7-2.

By CHRIS MILLS

12

BROWN @ CORNELL

9 Game: Cornell Brown

14 1ST 3 1

2ND 2 1

3RD 5 1

4TH 4 6

FINAL 14 9

Sun Staff Writer

W. Laxers Sneak Away With Victory Over Yale With an 8-7 victory over Yale on home turf this Saturday, the women’s lacrosse team secured a trip to the Ivy League Tournament for the third straight season.

It was a back-and-forth affair between two Ivy League teams jockeying for a spot in the conference tournament. The Bulldogs came into the match a game behind Cornell in the standings, and needed a win to improve their chances.

The Red squashed that opportunity, beginning in just the first minutes of the game when junior attack Lindsay Toppe found the back of the net to give the home team an early lead. Yale responded with two goals of its own, reversing the deficit, but sophomore attack Emily Tripodi scored the next two goals.

The Bulldogs responded to Tripodi’s scoring run, though, finding the net twice more to take a 4-3 lead heading into the second half.

The Red regained the momentum coming out of the locker room, as senior attack Chelsea Rowe scored just under four minutes into the second half, and junior midfielder Sarah Hefner followed suit shortly after, giving the home team the lead once again.

Yale tied the game for the fifth time, 6-6, midway through the second half, but it did not take long for Cornell’s offense to respond.

Freshman attack Catherine Ellis scored after picking up a ground ball, giving the Red a one-goal lead that Toppe added to just two minutes later. The Bulldogs mustered up one more goal, but junior goalie Carly Gniewek was solid in net, protecting the lead for the remainder of the game. She played all 60 minutes, saving seven shots on the day.

Cornell is back in action next Saturday against Penn for Senior Day, looking to improve its position in the Ivy League tournament.

— Compiled by Scott Chiusano

MICHELLE FELDMAN / SUN SENIOR EDITOR

Hat trick | Senior attack Dan Lintner scored three goals on Saturday, helping power the Red over Brown on Senior Day.

While Brown’s Molloy continued to pester the Cornell defense with his third goal of the afternoon, his teammates were less successful against a stifling Red back line. The See M. LAX page 11

TENNIS

Men,Women Fall to Princeton in Road Match

By DANIELLE LETOURNEAU Sun Staff Writer

On Friday, the men’s and women’s tennis teams battled Princeton in a conference road match. The Cornell women (7-9, 0-6 Ivy League) started their match by celebrating their graduating seniors Shannon Comolli and Ryann Young.

Unfortunately, the Cornell squad was toppled by No. 58 Princeton (17-5, 6-0), 6-1.

In doubles, Princeton won at the No. 3 position, 8-3. However, Cornell sophomores Christy Kung and Dena Tanenbaum fought hard at the No. 2 spot, tying the doubles competition at 1-

BRIAN STERN / SUN STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER

Tough crowd | Junior Quoc-Daniel Nguyen said that the Princeton fans gave the home team some extra energy.

that was because it was Princeton’s last Freshmen Marika Cusick and home match and their senior day and Alexandra D’Ascenzo, however, were they were hungry for a win.”

However, the team fought back in outmatched and lost the No. 1 doubles singles. match, 8-3.

“We tried to pick it up in singles after In singles, No. 3 Cusick was victorithat and competed ous, winning her really well,” Nguyen match 6-2, 6-4. “We didn’t have a lot of said.

However, Princeton In singles, junior had already won the energy and aggression Sam Fleck and freshoverall match after in doubles.” man Bernardo Casares coming away with vicRosa dominated their tories in the No. 2, 4 Quoc-Daniel Nguyen opponents, winning in and 6 positions.

Despite the team’s loss, Comolli left it straight sets. Fleck won his match deciall on the court in a three-set marathon sively with scores of 6-3 and 6-2 to tie match. She started the game on a positive the match up at 1-1.

Princeton (13-10, 3-3) regained the note, winning the first set, 6-3. However, her opponent pushed back and won the momentum, though, and won the next second set by the same score. The third two matches at the No. 4 and No. 5 posiset was evenly matched and was forced to tions to lead 3-1.

However, Casares Rosa fought back a tiebreaker, but Comolli was unable to and defeated his opponent 6-4, 6-3 to pull out a win and fell, 13-11.

The men’s team (12-8, 2-4) returned bring the match back to a one-point diffrom Princeton late Friday night disap- ference.

At the No. 1 position, freshman pointed with its 4-2 loss.

The squad started off at a disadvan- Stefan Vinti had an enduring match, tage after losing the doubles point. Both fighting off a few match balls, but ended the No. 1 and No. 3 matches had final up losing 6-4, 4-6, 6-4.

In the third set, Nguyen’s No. 6 scores of 8-4 in Princeton’s favor.

Junior Quoc-Daniel Nguyen — who match went unfinished after Princeton played at the No. 1 position with junior took the win so that Cornell could travel Jason Luu — felt that the doubles teams home and rest up for its final match of needed to be more intense in their the season against Penn on Sunday.

Nguyen hopes the team can leave the matches.

“We didn’t have a lot of energy and match from Friday in the past and peraggression in doubles, which showed form well against Penn.

“Hopefully we can step up and perbecause they won the doubles point pretform really well like I know we can and ty cofortably,” Nguyen said.

Nguyen said he believes the team end it on a good note,” he said. “We just needed to have more energy to match the need to come out with a fresh, new rowdy Princeton crowd on its home mindset and energy.” court on Friday.

“We weren’t giving ourselves the best Danielle Letourneau can be reached at chance to win,” he said. “A big part of dletourneau@cornellsun.com.

1.

A&E

Sunday, 4/20, 2014 | The Corne¬ Daily Sun | Section 43

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT In This Issue: The Colonialist Semiotics of James Franco’s Instagram Comments Section by James Franco, HBO CEO Sends Weekly Check to Daily Sun Arts Section, Pharrell’s Hat: Where Is He Now?, Arts Writers Polled on What They Would Use Time Travel For: 100 Percent Say to Go Back to 2012 and Never Like Macklemore, Gender Riots Break Out on Campus After Slope Day Programming Board Accidentally Books a Female Headliner, Jordan Belfort Speaks at Delta Chi: Brothers Call Speech ‘Beautiful, Inspiring’ and ‘Everything I was raised to believe in,’Arts Music Writers Conflicted: Reviews Are Sometimes Due Before Pitchfork Tells Them Whether an Album is Good, Cornell Cinema Shows Kill Your Darlings Again: Prof. Austin Bunn Begs Them To Stop, Cannot Have One More Polite Conversation with Brown-Nosing PMA Major, College Student Laughs at George W. Bush Painting, Doesn’t Know What Abu Ghraib Is, Oscar Predictions for 2015 Through 2025, In-Depth Interview: Real Ithaca Meth Dealers and Their Thoughts on Breaking Bad, Lana Del Rey Finally Reads Lolita, Retires From Music.

White Girl Talks About How Much She Loves Beyoncé by Rachel Ellicott Aren’t you just, like, literally dyyyinggg? No, not dying. That would be depressing. Dyyyinggg. You know, like that feeling you get when you watch Bey’s self-titled visual album?

Actually, that’s the only time you should be literally dyyyinggg, because what else is there to die for than Beyoncé? Also, why isn’t Beyoncé recognized in Microsoft Word’s dictionary? I can’t. I just. It’s a TRAGEDY, I tell you. Gawsh, this is, like, literal-

ly the worst moment of my life.

Let me tell you how Bey has changed my life. So, like, the other night my boyfriend and I totally got into this major fight and I was all like, “Babe you’re drunk. Stop trying to tell me you don’t see this going anywhere.” But then I realized we weren’t fighting because he was drunk. We were fighting because we were drunk in love. Bey taught me that. Bey taught me everything.

This Week in the Arts Section

So then last night, my boyfriend and I broke up. But while I was on my way back from my fifth fro-yo run of the day (mochi are to literally die for), a favorite ballad of female empowerment came on: “Survivor.”

It’s like she wrote it for me before she even knew she wrote it for me.

Because Bey is everything, I feel like nothing.

Then I remember, “I woke up like this.” Flawless.

CBS announces David Letterman to replace Late Show replacement Stephen Colbert SEAN DOOLITTLE Arts & Entertainment Editor

take the reins from Letterman at the end of the year. CBS President Leslie Moonves, in a press release this morning, stated, “We are confident that Stephen and his patent brand of dry wit and sharp satire are a perfect replacement for the hilarious 20-year legacy that David will leave behind. Just in case it turns out we were wrong, however, it is with a heavy heart that we must preemptively fire Mr. Colbert.”

This announcement comes after weeks of speculation as to who would inevitably replace the Late

In a never-before-seen move by television executives, CBS announced that current Late Show host David Letterman will replace current Late Show successor Stephen Colbert, who will replace current Late Show host David Letterman when his contract ends in 2015.

On April 10, it was revealed that Colbert, current host of Comedy Central’s The Colbert Report, would

Show replacement. Many television experts had favored Jay Leno, former two-timing two-time Tonight Show host, to replace Letterman, finally putting an end to the socalled “Late-Night Wars.”

Colbert responded by announcing he will make the move to TBS when his time hosting is up, following in the footsteps of ginger talk show host Conan O’Brien. O’Brien will subsequently take over The Colbert Report, which will be renamed The Colbert Report with Conan O’Brien.

BY KAITLYN TIFFANY & ZACH ZAHOS

James Rainis ’14 sues himself for slander Zach Zahos ’15 calls reviews “my work.”

Kaitlyn Tiffany ’15 uses six degrees of separation to somehow bring the article back to Lena Dunham.

Henry Staley ’16 defends Wolf of Wall Street, Nymphomanic, the Greek System, Woody Allen, Hemingway and White Privilege in one column.

Alice Wang ’15 compensates for her status as Arts’ only female columnist by making 12 dick jokes per paragraph.

Calvin Patten ’15 calls a mediocre rap album “promising,” swears he will never forgive himself if he ever makes an adult man feel bad.

Sean Doolittle ’16 writes criticism for the whole family.

Sam Bromer ’16 forgets to write his article, apologizes profusely, calls himself an “asshole.”

Marissa Tranquilli ’15 takes risky stance, praises The Mindy Project, Frozen, Ithaca College’s theater department Mark DiStefano ’16 plot-spoils 40 year-old movies, inciting outrage from those cryogenically frozen from 1972 until last week.

Rachel Ellicott ’15 refuses to write for Arts this week because there are no attractive male celebrities visiting campus.

18 Student Designer Spotlights, all with obviously identical interview questions.

An Arts writer leaves their house to go to an Ithaca event and give it careful, interesting coverage. Just kidding, no they don’t.

The Arts section looks around, notices that it is 80 percent white males, proceeds to not care at all.

Marvel Announces New Project: 14th Film Planned for 2016 MARISSA TRANQUILLI Sun Staff Writer

Today Marvel announced the release of X-Venger Guardians First Class: Origins Into Darkness, a six-hour extravaganza featuring over 200 different superheroes and mutants. The film is the most ambitious project tackled by the industry to date and is speculated to beat the worldwide record for box office income, projecting over 3 billion U.S. dollars (three times the GDP of Samoa, give or take).

The Urethras Shattered Vinyl Emma Court Coming off the heels of their much-celebrated eponymous debut, the critical hype surrounding Shattered Vinyl did not disappoint: The Urethras’ sophomore album is as functional and delicately designed as the organ from whence the group got its name.

The premise of Shattered Vinyl is simple and startlingly brilliant — frontman Man Man said the group was inspired to break all preceding musical conventions, and that they did. Some might say four hours of shattering vinyl, CDs, cassette tapes, phonographs and USB drives is simply too much, but those

The film stars recurring actors Robert Downey Jr., Hugh Jackman, Mark Ruffalo, Paul Rudd, Andrew Garfield, Chris Evans, Chris Pratt and Chris Hemsworth. The film is also rumored to feature Chris Elliot, Chris Pine, Chris Rock, Chris Parnell, Chris Christie and Chris Brown. We have also be informed that Chris Evans will be playing both The Human Torch and Captain America. With an hour and a half-long fight scene, the movie was shot in 3D and promises to melt our eyeballs entirely out of our faces.

In a completely new move for Marvel, they seem to be

featuring only male superheroes, sidelining any female superhero that was badass in the comics. Stan Lee also was promised the role of Captain Marvel and has stated that, in an unusual move for the Marvel films, screenwriters have chosen to include no actual dialogue. Rather, the entire film will be a collection of witty one-liners.

Like any true Marvel fan, I will be outside the theaters, peeing in jars for a week, wearing only a slutty Iron Man costume, waiting for the release of the X-Venger Guardians First Class: Origins Into Darkness.

TE S T S P I N S philistines lack the ear to appreciate subtle nuances in the type and nature of the destruction. Each group member has their own distinct, transformational musical signature, and it shows in the album — Man Man took a break from the guitar to pick up a machete, while drummer Don “The Man” Ron preferred a more hands-on approach, for example. The fourth track, “Broken Cassette Tapes” has a slow, relaxed rhythm, with the sound of splintering plastic ever so often punctuated by the unspooling of magnetic tape.

Listeners prescient enough to buy the bonus ver-

sion are treated to four minutes of walkmen being dropped off the Empire State Building. For those uninterested in listening to four hours of things being broken — I don’t know how that’s even possible, but I digress — Shattered Vinyl is also a great refresher in defunct musical formats, which The Urethras helpfully defined on the album insert. Floppy disks were a thing once upon a time, remember that? People said that Arcade Fire changed the modern music industry forever, but this kind of high-concept music is the stuff we Arts writers dream about. Well, besides minimum-wage jobs, of course.

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

The Corne¬ Daily Sun

Sports

MONDAY APRIL 21, 2014

16

Fraternity Intramural Team Applies for Varsity Status

By GEE D. EYE

Sports Championships. In the only missed year, the athletics chair had signed a badminton doubles team up for Wednesday Drawing inspiration from the nights, and the team was forced to forfeit all Northwestern football players who have of its games, despite being one of two teams decided to fight the system and try to union- participating in the sport. The chair was ize, a Cornell University fraternity that asked impeached shortly after. to remain nameless has applied for varsity “It’s most definitely a selling point during team status. rush week,” the president said. “We take our After winning the University’s coveted rushes around the house and make sure they “Intramural All-Sports Championship” tro- pass by our trophy case.” phy — awarded to the fraThe Director of ternity with the most “Have you even ever Cornell Intramurals ambitious athletics chair noted that the program watched our inner- does not give out trowho understands that signing up for disc golf phies to the winner of tube water polo singles and horseshoes is a the title. surefire route to the title “The winners get a Tteam play?”

— for three consecutive shirt,” he said. “I’m not Fraternity Ahletics Chair years, the fraternity decidsure where these troed a chance at the next phies are coming from.” level was well-deserved.

When asked why the “Have you even ever watched our inner- fraternity did not first try to gain club status tube water polo team play?” the fraternity’s for its teams, the athletics chair scoffed. athletics chair said when asked if the move “Club? Most of us were the backup point was justified. “It’s no game of ‘Marco Polo’ guards on our high school J.V. teams, and out here. You put us in those rafts, and shit you’re sitting here talking about club?” he gets real, bro.” said.

The fraternity had no answer for the speThe fraternity’s social chair acknowlcific sport in which it hoped to gain varsity edged that varsity team status would also status. drastically improve mixer opportunities, “Pick any of them, really,” the athletics noting that “Core Four sororities dig athchair said. “Our pledges are required to take letes, bro.” two semesters of bowling P.E. If that doesn’t Team uniforms were not going to be an scream ‘varsity ready,’ I don’t know what issue for the fraternity, as the members does.” decided to cut “bro tanks” out of their The fraternity president made sure to add championship T-shirts. that, aside from the last three, the fraternity “The intramural program has been forchad also won seven of the last eight All- ing a dress code on us for years,” one new

Sun Staff Writer

member said. “As a varsity team, we can finally wear boat shoes and pastel shorts and nobody can stop us.”

The University’s decision on the move is pending, and has been tabled for the time being in order to make room for more

By FLY LIKE AN EAGLE

If you haven’t seen Space Jam, you probably hate sports, children or fun in general. But there was talk a few weeks ago of a sequel to the beloved cartoonmeets-reality movie, and while it was whispered that LeBron James might replace Michael Jordan, those rumors were quickly tossed away. While James might be the logical substitute for Jordan, some other names come to mind for the star of the movie.

5) RICHARD SHERMAN Ok fine, he doesn’t play basketball, but with an ego like that, I’m sure

Sherman would put himself up there with the ranks of M.J. and the King.

I’d also like to see if his interactions with Lola Bunny might be similar to his infamous post-game interview with the lovely Erin Andrews.

4) SKIP BAYLESS He is a born and bred hater of LeBron James, so I think it’s only fair to give him a shot to overshadow James in the only way that is even slightly plausible. I also think Daffy Duck looks and acts a lot like Stephen A. Smith, so Skip would not be missing his partner in crime, and would likely still get riled up enough to make this an interesting movie.

3) CHRIS BOSH Let’s be real; the resemblance between Bosh and one of the Monstars is truly uncanny. Maybe he would serve better as a member of their team, but I think you could just as easily put him in the Looney Tunes category. His arms might not stretch quite as far as Michael Jordan’s, but his neck would certainly give him the extra reach for that last-second miraculous dunk.

Bosh is also no stranger to the camera.

His photo-bombing game is unparalleled, you’ve got to give him that.

COURTESY OF WARNER BROTHERS STUDIOS

What’s up doc? | In the rumored sequel to the best basketball movie ever created, who will be the new star?

2) TERIO This kid is a born star. He is certainly not camera shy, and he has already been adopted into the NBA clique, as he’s been known to hang with the Miami Heat posse. If Michael Jordan could not intimidate the Monstars, I think this kid is the next best bet. My only worry is that the bulldog that knocks Jordan on his ass

The writer can be reached at cornellifc.org

COURTESY OF HENRY LY

Moving on up | This past week, a fraternity applied to have its intramural teams considered at the varsity level, a move that has been “a long time coming,” according to the fraternity president.

Space Jam 2: Top Five Picks for the Star Sun Staff Writer

important issues, like whether the basketball team will be dropped to Division III status next year.

in the movie would have no shot against Terio. Also, who wouldn’t want to see him bust some moves on a cartoon basketball court?

1) J.R. SWISH There is arguably no bigger clown in the professional sports world than J.R. Smith. He’s a Looney Tune in his own rite, and what better way to trip up the hulking Monstars than by untying their shoes? It’s brilliant. As much as everyone adores the classic soundtrack to this movie, I also think the producers could kill two birds with one stone with J.R.’s own rap “So Right” as a substitute.

Sure there might be a few kinks to work out with the casting of these guys. Like how to fit Terio down the golf hole to Looney Tune land? Could Richard Sherman spend this much time on screen without mentioning his Stanford education? Could Skip Bayless exist on camera with only a Stephen A. Smith look-alike, and not the real thing? How fast would the Toon Squad get fed up with J.R. Smith’s shot selection? And then there’s the obvious question of a new sidekick for the star, because I’m honestly not sure that Wayne Knight and J.R. Smith would make a perfect duo. Possibly Smith and Andrea Bargnani, but only if Bargnani could learn that he is, in fact, a white guy, and therefore cannot dunk from the free throw line. But these are all kinks that could most certainly be worked out to create another Warner Bros. Classic.

Fly Like an Eagle can be reached at warnerbros@cornellsun.com.

Sun Sports Section Actually Used for Something Productive Typically dismal Ithaca weather has forced Cornell’s sports teams to spend a lot of time indoors lately. Last week’s mid-April snow sighting had the men’s lacrosse team confined to the Ramin Room, where a legitimate full practice is often hard to come by.

In lieu of the Ramin Room’s poor design, the team found itself running low on lacrosse balls towards the end of practice.

“We needed to find another option,” the team’s coach said.

When you put a bunch of AEM majors in a room together, what do you get? Born innovators, clearly. The captains of the team found a Daily Sun news stand outside the Ramin Room, strategically placed where no one would ever find it, and brought a stack of copies back in.

“We balled up a couple copies of the sports section and used them as lacrosse balls,” said the lacrosse team’s captain.

He acknowledged that it was a lot more difficult to get anything behind their throws, but said that his team was “always up for the challenge.”

Balled up copies of the Sun’s sports section were strewn throughout the Ramin Room by the end of the practice.

“We didn’t mean any disrespect to The Daily Sun,” the captain added.

The team’s captain was quick to say that the practice actually turned into a productive one.

“We made the most of it,” he said. “I guess we’ve got to thank the sports section. Those articles finally got put to good use.”

— Compiled by Summer Sunshine