22
Winter 2021
ARTS
Creative Writing: Reflecting on 2020 SourcePoint's creative writing program has been meeting virtually since the coronavirus pandemic began last spring. A recent assignment was to write about things that have occurred because of the pandemic, including resulting feelings, ability to pivot, and how challenges were overcome.
This Time Out of Time
The novelty wore off a long time ago and then the settling-in started. It is a heaviness that I feel in my body, as well as my spirit. I think that means it’s a soul thing. At the beginning I played with minor distractions: I stopped coloring my hair in March, bought too many canned goods, and changed all of the cabinet hardware in my bathroom and kitchen. Thinking I was spending too much time online, I deleted Candy Crush from my tablet and then put it back. Twice. My point is that small addictions have taken hold. The presidential election was a major distraction. When it became clear that my candidate won, I felt a physical and mental release that is hard to describe. But the new freedup space in my psyche provided room for existing anxieties to grow and for new ones to move in and flourish. Fear has become a permanent resident that I don’t know how to evict. I have tried owning that fear, ignoring it, and even running away from it. But I can’t run far enough or fast enough. My last resort is to accept it and extend a peace pipe. In other words, learn to live with my fears. So I have come full circle. I’m looking for distractions again to crowd fear or at least make it uncomfortable while it lives in my bones. Connie Hill is a member of SourcePoint.
Contentment
The year 2020 has prompted me to take my pulse to see how well I’m coping. To my continual amazement, I think I’m doing pretty well. I’ve had some minor disappointments, such as being selected as an Ohioana author, but then the in-person event was canceled. Like others, I sometimes feel relatively friendless, but then remind myself that emotion is simply because my friends and I can’t be together in person as we once were.
whom I have researched and written. I consider my Polish family, who, during World War II, lived inside the territory of the largest SS training camp outside of Germany. For six years, they and all the other villagers were forced laborers under the Nazis. I think of my widowed great grandmother, Jadwiga, sitting in her two-room house with dirt floors and a large ceramic oven for heat while V2 missiles were launched over the roof. Her nerves must have frayed each time she heard their whistle and the inevitable thunder as it crashed in some field nearby. Jadwiga was not only an emotionally strong woman, but was also incredibly brave and generous. She covertly took food to starving neighbors who were forced to work on the Germans’ farms that once were theirs. When the Nazis were attempting to arrest her priest, he hid in the roof of the empty church right across the street from Jadwiga’s humble home. It was Jadwiga who covertly brought food and supplies to the priest for his six months in that roof home. If the Germans had discovered Jadwiga’s actions, they would have shot her immediately. I think of my 10th great grandfather, Richard Warren, one of the Mayflower passengers in 1620. Separated from his wife and children, he experienced the miserable two-month journey followed by months of a cold New England winter. He and others foraged in bitter weather searching for the best settlement, and then cared for his fellow passengers who were ill, half of whom did not survive. During this pandemic, no one asks me to do anything so brave as Jadwiga’s or Richard Warren’s courageous actions. Just wear a mask, avoid crowds, and stay at home as much as possible. When I start to feel sorry for myself, I reflect on all the people in history who found themselves under unthinkable situations and oppression. Some likely withered, but most found the emotional strength to take their situation day by day. So, here I sit with my computer, television, books, and friends and family on Zoom to help me pass my days. Complaining and feeling down just doesn’t seem fitting or honoring to millions of people in history who suffered through real hardships. And so, I strive to simply be content. Donna Gawell is a member of SourcePoint.
I discovered I have the gift of contentment, and it probably is hereditary. Instead of a gloomy pallor during these months, I spend my time contemplating my ancestors' lives about
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