Christmas in style

I have a suggestion for you. This Christmas, you make a conscious effort to stay calm and compassionate – whatever curveball life might throw at you. You keep your cool. You bite your tongue if necessary and swallow the bitter remark without saying it.

This Christmas, you are not rehashing old arguments and you are not falling for the trigger points your partner, your kids or your family present. You stay centred in yourself and let these things bounce off you. You are titanium.

Look, Christmas is the major time for couples to get into fights over petty things. The reason is this: you are suddenly spending three or four uninterrupted days together and at the same time, everyone’s expectations are sky high.

Everyone wants the most sparking, enjoyable and perfect Christmas experience for their family, partner, kids, and themselves. It is no wonder that stress builds up… and we all know from past experiences that there is always something going wrong. It might be that your famous dessert does not come together, your kids are in a bad mood, or your partner is teasing you about not having enough sex or your family.

In the past, those trigger points would have caused an eruption on your side, blowing the whole Christmas mood out the window in no time. But not this year.

This year, you stay calm, cool and collected, and respond compassionately. Maybe the dessert can still be eaten, tasting as good as always. Maybe the kids are just going through some growing pains and need comfort, not boundaries. And maybe your partner is just trying to make an old joke about your family, and you can laugh it off together.

You will see everyone’s surprise, in the moment that you react differently from what they expect. They will all change their behaviour as well.

I’m not saying that you need to devalue or disown yourself. Not at all. Be yourself, and use love and understanding as your guidance.

I’m wishing you a wonderful, relaxing and peaceful Christmas, and a great start into an amazing 2020. •