CPH Post 23 March - 25 April 2018

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NEWS Language school cries foul after rivals win contract

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FEATURE

Madsen’s new defence Denmark’s trial of the century resumes this week with eight days of questioning

WASTE NOT, WANT LESS

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No trains, school or public services from April 10 COMMUNITY St Patrick’s Day was another lively affair in the city centre

16-17 INOUT

‘Grey Gardens’ revisited A theatrical version of the classic documentary is among our picks

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ATIONWIDE industrial action is impending. If negotiations between employers and unions over future pay and conditions do not resume and reach a compromise, the government will lock out all state workers on April 10.

This means 400,000 employees will be sent home without pay, schools and daycare institutions will close, no trains will run, and government departments will be shut.

The innovation minister, Sophie Løhde, formally served notice of the lockout on March 7 following the confirmation that 10,900 teachers and pedagogues had been selected by unions to go on strike from April 4 in 12 municipalities.

The government has been accused of severely ‘upping the ante’ in the conflict. The number of af-

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fected workers is far more than the almost 10 percent covered by the union’s threatened strike action.

Strike should be short …

GRETE Christensen, the chair of the Danish nursing council and leader of the negotiations for all the regional employees, expects the conflict will lead to quick government intervention.

The government can choose to stop a conflict by law, which it did after 25 days of the teachers being locked out in 2013.

“When you see how many employees suddenly won’t be working – over 400,000 – you can see that Denmark will more or less grind to a halt,” she told Politiken.

Christensen feels the employers have deliberately made the lockout warning as broad as possible so an intervention will be necessary.

Many affected UNION members won’t receive their normal salary and will need to apply to the union’s strike fund, which means less money.

Parents cannot take their children into work with them, unless their boss approves it, as it is not a right under Danish labour laws.

And they can’t take a holiday – even a previously scheduled one.

Hospitals will cancel planned operations but still run emergency services. The police will continue to work, but will be weakened because administrative and technical personnel will be locked out.

Services to the elderly will largely remain untouched, and motorists will be able to get away with parking illegally, provided they don’t park in areas controlled by the private parking firms. (SG)

4-5 No more TV licences A PARLIAMENTARY majority have agreed to cut the budget of state broadcaster DR by 20 percent and replace the TV/media licence with a tax. The licence costs 2,527 kroner per year – and calls for a fairer system in which the well-off pay more have been growing in recent years.

The cuts mean DR will get 740 million kroner less every year.

Watery credentials TEN PERCENT of water samples taken from 1,700 wells reveal a level of Desphenylchloridazone considered too high. In total, the pesticide was found in 29.2 percent of the samples, and some of the wells have been closed.

The revelation came a day after Denmark confirmed it would help Cape Town switch its water supply to groundwater sources to address an ongoing shortage.

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ONLINE THIS WEEK IN LINE with the new budget law, incoming passengers are again being spot-checked at Copenhagen Airport to see whether they are receiving social security benefits. Some 21 were caught on March 5 – the first day of their reintroduction after they were discontinued in 2016. Recipients are only allowed to take a holiday with permission from their job centre.

Mall to double in size THE FISKETORVET shopping centre site looks set to double in size from 51,000 to 121,000 sqm according to plans approved by Copenhagen Municipality. The leasable retail area will grow from 40,000 to 55,000 sqm. The construction dates have not yet been finalised, but could coincide with the opening of a Metro station in 2024.

LGBT dreams fulfilled THE CAPITAL will hold the huge LGBT sporting event EuroGames in 2021, fulfilling the ambition of bidding entity Copenhagen 21, which had already landed the rights to stage the world’s largest LGBT festival, WorldPride, in the same year.

Together the events could draw upwards of 500,000 people to the city. Copenhagen last hosted EuroGames in 2003.

Teaching school blasts unfair decision IA Sprog claims quality of Danish-language lessons will take a nosedive STEPHEN GADD

T

HE DECISION by Copenhagen Municipality’s employment and integration committee to award the tender for the subsidised Danishlanguage tuition of foreigners to only two schools has come under fire.

From August, only Clavis and UCplus will be able to offer the classes – at a cost of 2,000 kroner per module, compared to a cost of between 8,000 and 15,000 kroner were they offered privately.

Cost over quality LAST YEAR the government decided to change the way in which municipalities were reimbursed from a ‘per person’

amount to a block grant, which dramatically raised their costs.

Copenhagen, with an estimated 12,000 students a year, was the hardest hit, so it put the contract for teaching the foreigners (everyone except refugees) out to tender in order to attract a lower price.

Tenders were requested in November and eight schools obliged and were duly scored 70 percent according to their cost and 30 percent to their quality.

The results were then announced on March 6.

Students will miss out HOWEVER, IA Sprog has decided to appeal against the decision, reports Politken. Its rector, Jørgen Jespersen, warns that foreigners will now get a significantly lower quality.

“The committee could have said to us ‘Your price is a bit

PXHERE

Airport apprehensions

23 March - 25 April 2018

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Biowasting like pros

HERE WERE major revelations on the opening day of the trial of Peter Madsen, 47, who stands accused of murdering Swedish journalist Kim Wall, 30, on his vessel last August. Day 2 was scheduled for Wednesday March 21.

COPENHAGEN has adapted to biowaste sorting like a duck to water since the issue of special green bags last summer, exceeding the expectations of the municipality by 30 percent. Between August and December last year, the monthly amount collected rose from 188 to 1,066 tonnes, and the municipality believes 14,000 tonnes will be sorted in 2018.

Out of respect MADSEN claims he concealed the truth out of respect to Wall’s relatives as she was killed in a “horrible accident” – a combination of exhaust gas and a fall in cabin pressure caused her a slow and painful death – while he was on deck, unable to open the hatch due to the pressure.

Madsen explained how he

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tried to discard Wall’s intact body in a panic, but decided to give up after 50 minutes, eventually deciding to cut her up into six pieces.

Was it premeditated?

THE PROSECUTOR claims Madsen asked three different women to join him on the Nautilus in the week leading up to Wall’s death, and that he arranged to meet Wall on the day she died, following up on her spring interview proposal.

They had never met before.

The prosecutor has video evidence that the same saw Madsen used to dismember Wall’s body was hanging in his lab just hours before they set sail, and that he watched a video of a woman’s throat being cut the night before – evidence recovered from

Cold but not much snow COPENHAGEN got its first proper snow covering of the winter on March 2, but despite more snowfall on March 5 and 6, it failed to properly settle. Temperatures have been mostly sub-zero this past month.

A period of particularly icy wind in late February caused the sea to freeze in places along the coast.

Not much to smile about

Red Square off colour

high, but so is your quality.

Would you be willing to lower the price?’, but they didn’t do that,” said Jespersen.

While UCplus and Clavis scored 6.69 and 6.60 – 3.33 and 4.67 for quality – IA scored 6.34 overall, and 7.0 for quality.

Dansk Flygtningehjælp, A2B AS and Københavns Sprogcenter meanwhile scored 7.33, 5.33 and 4.33 respectively for quality.

COPENHAGEN Municipality is spending 11 million kroner on replacing the surface of the Superkilen urban park in Nørrebro, known locally as ‘Red Square’, just six years after its opening.

The red polyurethane coating has made the ground slippery.

Revelations galore in Madsen trial Submariner claims he lied over cause of death to spare the feelings of the victim’s family

ONLINE THIS WEEK

his iPhone profile, as his phone has never been recovered.

The prosecution will claim Madsen liked restraining women and that there is evidence Wall was restrained and that her head was clamped. Madsen maintains there was no sexual activity on the Nautilus.

International interest ON DAY one, on March 8, the media took 20 of the 36 seats in court. The rest of the press, 105 journalists from 15 different countries, watched from a lounge with a live feed to the trial. Just four courtroom seats were available to the public, and the queue started at 04:00.

The trial will resume for a further nine working days from March 21, and it is scheduled to conclude on April 25. (BH)

All over for the Rover THE IRISH Rover served its last pint over the St Patrick’s Day weekend. Opened in 2004 on Strøget by Jono Farrelly, who sadly died last year, it relocated to a nearby address on the walking street in early 2017 after its landlord decided to redevelop the building.

Changes hit Kystbanen COMMUTERS are up in arms over train schedule changes that mean they will no longer be able to catch a Kystbanen train to the airport or Sweden. Instead they will need to change at Nørreport or Central Station. Kystbanen services will also be less frequent.

Marching and running A MARCH For Our Lives event to protest against US gun laws will begin outside the US Embassy on March 24 at 12:00, and a plastic waste awareness event, the Ocean Run, will start at 10:00 on April 7 at Amager Strandpark.

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23 March - 25 April 2018

Putting women first at the UN

U

LLA TØRNÆS, the development minister, and Karen Ellemann, the gender equality minister, released a strongly-worded statement ahead of the 62nd session of the UN Commission on the Status of Women, which began in New York on March 12, reiterating their belief that “women must be able to decide on their own body – period”.

Tackling Africa THIS YEAR’S theme was ‘Rural Women’ and in the light of the recent #Metoo movement, it was a busy agenda. Among the items up for consideration were the sexual education of girls in Africa and Denmark’s candidacy for the Human Rights Council.

“Denmark has a strong voice because we are among the world’s most equal countries,” contended Ellemann.

ONLINE THIS WEEK ULLA TØRNÆS - TWITTER

Ministers unequivocal in call for change

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Ministers with purpose

Dispelling the myths TØRNÆS was particularly keen to make a difference in the developing world. “We know that if women postpone the time of their first pregnancy, they are more likely to take an education and then establish a family,” she said.

Both ministers are keen to dispel long-held myths that surround the issue, including the belief that sex education leads to earlier sexual activity, and that virgins will always bleed when they first have sex – a belief that has resulted in girls being branded impure on their wedding night and in some cases even killed. (BH)

No female utopia

New Dane focus

Festival gender divide

DENMARK ranks 47th when it comes to international women working here being satisfied with their careers, according to InterNations, the world’s largest network for people who live and work abroad. The findings are based on responses from nearly 7,000 female expats living in 168 countries. Mexico topped the rankings, followed by Myanmar, Cambodia, Bahrain and New Zealand.

THE GOVERNMENT intends to focus on certain ethnic minority groups in its 25 million kroner intensification efforts to create more equality – particularly in the LGBT arena and the fight against sexual harassment.

“The lack of equality in certain ethnic minority environments is a joint cause that we must fight together on,” said the equality minister, Karen Ellemann.

ROSKILDE has commended an initiative backed by 45 international music festivals – but no Danish ones – for more gender equality on their programs, but worries it is wishful thinking.

By 2022, the festivals pledge, the ratio should be 50-50. According to a DR list, 27 percent of the performers at Roskilde are female – the best ratio in Denmark. Copenhell was the worst with only 3 percent.

More female priests

SheDecides ever growing

SOME 51 percent of the nation’s priests are female. Fully 70 years after Denmark got its first three female priests, they have gone out – to paraphrase a Biblical expression – and multiplied. However, according to the review of the country’s 2,163 parishes carried out by DR in collaboration with the Church Ministry and Folkekirken, most of the Danish church’s senior clergy are men.

THE DEVELOPMENT minister, Ulla Tørnæs, represented Denmark at a SheDecides conference in Pretoria in early March. Co-founded last year by the Danish government in response to the US’s decision to no longer financially aid UN organisations that raise awareness about contraception, abortion and planned families, some 40,000 people and 150 organisations have since joined the movement.

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History at golf tournament THOMAS Bjørn will make history at the Centurion Club in St Albans, England in May when he competes with Scotland’s Catriona Matthew – the first time the European Tour has permitted a mixed-pairing. Among the duo’s opponents in the GolfSixes tournament will be the defending champs, Denmark’s Lucas Bjerregaard and Thorbjørn Olesen, and two all-female pairings.

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THE COPENHAGEN POST | CPHPOST.DK

23 March - 25 April 2018

The grassroots organisation Foodsharing Copenhagen is finding new ways to fight a prevailing social problem DOUGLAS WHITBREAD

S

UPERMARKETS have become decadent palaces where we can buy any type of fruit and veg – from Californian kiwis to Colombian avocados. However, there’s a cost for this abundance unseen by most shoppers.

Industrial farming practices and highly competitive market conditions are responsible for the global over-production of perishable goods. This means that a lot of the food arriving at national distribution depots will inevitably end up as refuse.

In Denmark, recent food waste prevention strategies have attracted wide support. Nevertheless, a group of international activists are highlighting this as a systemic problem, asking if this is the best way to feed our growing population.

Grassroots champions THIS IS the assertion of a cohort of volunteers from the action group Foodsharing Copenhagen (FSC), which was founded in 2015. The local organisation, which is linked to a broad association first established in Germany, is now the second largest of its kind in Denmark (behind SSAM), with close to 1,000 registered volunteers – roughly 95 percent of whom are internationals.

However, the organisation’s strategy differs from previous attempts to tackle food waste.

Instead of working with the likes of Rema 1000 or Netto, it collaborates with wholesalers

“You say tomato ... I’ll say it in that accent as well if it’s free”

Copenhagen Foodsharing braces itself for the impending rush at Osramhuset on March 3

who supply stores throughout the country. FSC currently operates a twice-a-week collection of fruit and vegetables from these vendors, taking away tonnes of edible food that would otherwise be binned.

At its events, teams of 40 volunteers work rotation-shifts to sort and categorise the collected items. But when it comes to handing the food out, unlike other commercial ventures, FSC operates under the principle of unconditional redistribution – so anyone, rich or poor, is allowed to take the unwanted produce for free.

Food for thought “YOU FIRST have to understand why we have food waste,” FSC chair Saimon Skurichin explained to CPH POST. “After this you seek to find ways to prevent it from taking place. Once you’ve done all you can to prevent food waste, then you see what you can do to maximise the use of what is left, which is called the national food surplus.”

An approach that focuses on distributing the surplus, he claims, goes to the source of the food waste issue in Denmark – one stage before it blights supermarket shelves.

“We work with the biggest wholesalers in the region who supply almost all the food to Copenhagen, and our message from working with them

is quite simple: all surplus food currently being produced should be shared,” he declared.

“We know why the problem [of food waste] is happening, but until we can figure out a grand [national] plan of how to reduce it, all we can do is redistribute the surplus that we as a population continue to produce,” he added.

Numbers don’t add up SPEAKING as a researcher, separate from his role as head

of FSC, Skurichin was privately sceptical about the validity of figures used to describe the monumental success of Danish food waste prevention.

“The problem [that I have with this] is that when I did my research I found there were some estimations of the food waste output for different types of residential households that are scientifically accurate,” he contended.

“However, in similar studies SAIMON SKURICHIN - FACEBOOK

Rapid story of success NO-ONE likes to see good things go to waste, not least Danish politicians. Many within Parliament are leading advocates of global policy directives created to prevent the waste of food in countries around the world.

Their ongoing support for this cause can be traced back to a campaign called Stop Wasting Food (SSAM) founded by a Russian émigré to Denmark, Selina Juul, in 2008.

Her demands for supermarkets to curtail their food waste gained national attention within weeks of their issuance after Rema 1000 agreed to drop bulk

discounts on fruit and vegetables. Other major grocery stores in the country followed suit with similar strategies designed to reduce commercial food waste.

SSAM also inspired several separate initiatives, including Your Local, Refood and Wefood.

The rise of the movement was seized upon by five successive governments, which partnered with SSAM to create a range of national and international initiatives. In 2015, it was announced that Denmark had reduced its national food waste by 25 percent over seven years – a figure that has been lauded internationally as proof the country has enjoyed tremendous success tackling the issue.

Narratives like this are gratifying as they demonstrate how, against the odds, local activists collectively find a solution to a global issue. Nevertheless, these types of stories can also mask our awareness that much more is needed to be done to resolve this problem in its totality.

ALL PHOTOS (UNLESS STATED): DOUGLAS WHITBREAD

Surplus to requirements: internationals address root causes of food waste

And the winner of the raffle hamper, says Saimon Skurichin, is everyone

COVER

23 March - 25 April 2018

conducted on businesses and corporations in the private sector, the data is produced and owned by the companies. In these cases, you can’t get hold of the real numbers as they’re not obliged to give them to you.”

While Skurichin appraises that Denmark is clearly doing a lot to combat food waste, he

doesn’t believe all the numbers currently used to calculate the national reduction were correct.

“The country is a frontrunner – there’s no disagreement about that. No other countries are doing anything better than Denmark, but these figures in my opinion seem to be nonsense,” he affirmed.

“We can’t save it all” THOSE who regularly volunteer with FSC are a band of highlymotivated individuals who work hard through a hands-on approach. But it is rarely plain sailing, according to Karoline Hill, who has been a volunteer since its inception.

“We [volunteers] represent the grassroots players in the fight against the food waste problem,” she told CPH POST. “However, the truth is that an organisation such as FSC should not exist – it should not be necessary for us to have to share food, which is perfectly fine to eat, but would otherwise be thrown out.”

Despite her grievances, Hill argued that the organisation’s events were opportunities through which attendees were made aware of the issue of food waste.

“In our roles, we just hope we can get people to understand this [problem] and get them to try to change their behaviour because consumers are still one of the largest contributors [to food waste] – so that’s why we want to work with them,” she determined.

“Our major goal is not just to save surplus waste but to get people to understand why the system produces waste.”

Community spirit N EV E RT H E L E S S, the organisation has become a tightly-bound social network that is growing all the time. Mourad Karib, a volunteer with FSC for a year, believes the organisation is particularly popular with nonDanish residents.

“A lot of international people struggle to make a life for themselves when they arrive in Copenhagen,” he explained.

“They need to find a place [to live] and find a job. It can be very hard for them, so if they find free food and people to share it with – then they feel good and they will come again [to events].”

In this sense, Karib demonstrates that the work of volunteers doesn’t only push the agenda of food waste prevention forwards, it also serves to encourage wider community participation.

“For me at least, a FSC event is a place I know I can go every Saturday and you get this feeling of being part of something,” he enthused.

“These people are welcoming, and they are my friends – and we work together on our joint passion to take care of the world.”

It’s hard not to be happy in such surroundings

Long-term volunteer Karoline Hill wants people to understand why there is so much waste

Volunteer Mourad Karib reckons the events are a great way for internationals to network

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NEWS

THE COPENHAGEN POST | CPHPOST.DK

ONLINE THIS WEEK PETER Frederiksen, a Dane arrested in 2015 in South Africa and charged with 36 counts of murder and sexual abuse – including the rape of a child and the murder of his ex-wife – has been handed two life sentences.

The case has been a macabre one ever since the police discovered 21 clitorises in a freezer in Bloemfontein three years ago.

Next door to terror THE DANISH embassy in the Burkina Faso capital of Ouagadougou went into lockdown following a deadly terror attack on the nearby French embassy and a government building on March 2.

Meanwhile, Denmark has opened an embassy in Algiers to open up more trade possibilities with Africa’s fourth-largest economy.

Classified carelessness TWO DANISH servicemen – a current and a former employee at the Danish embassy in Abu Dhabi – have been charged with gross negligence in a case involving the leaking of classified information.

The pair are accused of treating classified Danish Defence documents in a manner that made it possible for a locally-based employee to steal them and deliver them to a “hostile power”.

SAS link to Nepal crash THE DASH8/Q-400 turboprop plane that crashed attempting to land at Kathmandu Airport in Nepal on March 12, killing at least 50 people, was once owned by SAS. The Scandinavian airline grounded 27 of the planes in 2007 after a series of dramatic landings, mostly caused by vulnerable landing gear. It then sought compensation from the plane’s Canadian producer Bombardier.

Four dead in Maersk fire FOUR CREW members who went missing when a Maersk Line ship caught fire on March 7 have been declared dead. A further 23 aboard the Maersk Honam were safely evacuated when the vessel, which was on its way from Singapore to the Suez Canal, was hit by a serious fire in the Arabian Sea in the northwest Indian Ocean.

21st century champions of solidarity Denmark talking tough, particularly regarding Russian aggression, but strong stance goes unrecognised by Transparency International

F

EW WORDS embody the indomitability of the human spirit as effectively as solidarity. From Polish shipyard unions to freedom fighters, its essence underpinned many of the 20th century’s greatest triumphs over adversity.

Fast-forward to 2018 and the movement’s new posterboy is Danish PM Lars Løkke Rasmussen, who has been dishing out pledges of solidarity like they’re smarties.

Behind Britain FIRST in the queue is Britain and its defiant stance in response to the alleged Russian state’s attack on former Soviet operative Sergei Skripal and his daughter in Salisbury.

“We will be in close dialogue with our British allies to consider what countermeasures will take place,” said Rasmussen. “We still have sanctions against an increasingly aggressive Russian state following their invasion of the Crimea Peninsula.”

Underpinning Ukraine RUSSIA was also in the telescopic sight when the foreign minister, Anders Samuelsen, announced 860 million kroner of funding to aid reform in Georgia and Ukraine over the next five years.

On a visit to the region in February, Samuelsen underlined “unequivocal backing for two countries under pressure from Russia”, adding that “reform is the best defence against Russian aggression”.

Samuelsen will host a big international conference in Copenhagen on June 27 concerned with making reforms in Ukraine, to which foreign ministers from all the EU, NATO and G7 nations have been invited.

Plea for Syrian justice EMBOLDENED by his stance against Russia perhaps, Samuelsen declared a 30-day ceasefire in Syria a step in the right direction, but underlined that all countries had a responsibility to get the Syrian government to halt its bombardment and allow humanitarian aid.

“Denmark is actively supporting the mechanisms under the UN and other organisations that work towards prosecuting the guilty parties when the time comes. That’s something the world community must focus on,” said Samuelsen.

To bring matters full circle, the foreign minister mentioned Russia as a country that needed to stand up and be counted in the wake of escalating violence in Syria in recent weeks.

UNITED NATIONS

Life for clitoris killer

23 March - 25 April 2018

Increasingly outspoken

At a G5 meeting in Brussels in February, Denmark announced it was earmarking 99 million kroner over three years to regional peacekeeping and stabilisation efforts in the embattled region.

The focus of the funding will be fighting organised crime and terrorism, boosting the justice sector, and other initiatives to support G5 efforts in the region.

Tough in the Sahel THE GOVERNMENT is also talking tough over the Sahel region in Africa, where it has revealed it intends to step up its efforts to combat terrorism and irregular migration.

Less transparent NEVERTHELESS, despite all the solidarity, Denmark has lost its place at the top of the Transparency International ranking, where it has stood alongside New Zealand since 2012.

Natascha Felix, the chair of the Danish department of Transparency International, told Politiken the fall was an “alarm signal” caused by IT firm Atea’s publicised bribery case, the new freedom of information laws, the way SKAT gave away 12 billion kroner to fraudsters, and the abuse of power in connection with the Chinese official state visits in 2012 and 2013.

Felix would like to see action taken on a political level – especially the lack of transparency over private support to political parties and the lack of a register of lobbyists – while others despaired of the lack of transparency regarding private funding for political parties.

(CPH POST)

Repats top figures

Another Nordic summit?

Minister slams re-education

SOME 14 of the 20 nationalities most likely to immigrate to Denmark are European, according to Danmarks Statistik. Of the 67,445 foreign immigrants who arrived in 2017 – numbers peaked in 2015 at over 70,000 – 5,262 were Romanians, with the Poles (4,531) Americans (4,101), Germans (3,684) and Indians (2,561) completing the top five.

Meanwhile, 21,937 Danish repats returned.

IT IS SPECULATED that Sweden could end up hosting a summit between North Korea and the US or, at the very least, mediate between the countries – a role it has become accustomed to in recent years. The North Korean foreign minister, Ri Yong-ho, visited Sweden on March 15 – a trip that Pyongyang officials described as being for “bilateral relations and issues of mutual concern”.

THE IMMIGRATION and integration minister, Inger Støjberg, wants to tackle the practice of parents sending their children to their home countries for re-education because they fear they are becoming too Danish. The municipalities know of at least 130 cases, and in many it has reportedly affected the young people in terms of school work, the Danish language and their general well-being.

Hunting Red October FOUR WEEKS ago, a majority in Parliament voted to beef up defence spending, citing a perceived increased threat from Russia. And the spending will again enable Danish Defence to hunt submarines, reports Ingeniøren.

As well as in the Baltic, subs presumed to be hostile have been observed in the strategically important waters around Greenland, and an analysis carried out by the Defence Ministry in 2016 pointed out that Denmark was also unable to detect and deter subs in the Arctic seas.

ONLINE THIS WEEK Control extension likely DENMARK will most likely extend its border controls by another six months by again citing the unprecedented terror threat.

Denmark has joined forces with five other Schengen countries – Sweden, Norway, Germany, Austria and France – to resist the wishes of the EU migration commissioner, Dimitris Avramopoulos. The controls are due to end on May 12.

Turkish spying charges THREE people face ‘spying’ charges after helping the Turkish government to identify Danish residents in support of the failed coup to depose President Erdogan in 2016. The charges, which cite paragraph 108 of the Criminal Code concerning help given to a foreign intelligence service operating in Denmark, must be approved by the justice minister, Søren Pape Poulsen.

Term is inaccurate UNIVERSITY of Copenhagen research suggests the term ‘welfare tourist’ should be dropped by politicians as it badly reflects upon immigrants who claim benefits.

Nine out of ten EU citizens, who lived here between 2003 and 2012 and claimed benefits, stayed in the country for at least two years, while most managed at least five years.

Five-country bust AN INTERNATIONAL drugs bust – which also involves parties in Sweden, the Netherlands, Spain and Morocco – resulted in 14 arrests in Denmark in early March. The raids followed the November discovery of 422 kilos of amphetamine tablets in Amager – an all-time record.

Large quantities of cannabis, cocaine and cash have also been recovered at various addresses.

‘Liberty’ not to blame IN THE same way ‘Broen’ has not been responsible for a rise in grisly murders on bridges, aid organisation Folkekirkens Nødhjælp has conceded that DR’s Africa-based series ‘Liberty’ is not to blame for a fall in donations – despite earlier claims. On the contrary, two-thirds of Danes support development work, according to a Foreign Ministry report.

23 March - 25 April 2018

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TYRSTRUP KRO

Marienlyst Strandhotel – a modern spa hotel that wonderfully combines its historical romance with modern stylishness. The hotel is internationally recognised, 4-starred, and is blessed with the sea at its doorstep. Marienlyst is excellently located near the Øresund coast and close to Kronborg Castle, Maritime Museum of Denmark, Marienlyst Castle, Helsingør waterfront, the Danish Museum of Science and Technology, the Louisiana Museum of Modern Art and a host of other opportunities for exciting activities. As a guest, you have free access to Casino Marienlyst, where there is ample thrill to be found at the gaming tables and jackpot machines.

This idyllic and renowned inn is surrounded by stunning nature that convenes with culture and local character. You can visit Brødremenighedens Bakery in Christiansfeld, where you can try its legendary honey hearts – fresh out of the oven daily since 1783 – but you can also enjoy the local specialities that are part of the inn’s very own award-winning kitchen. This offer includes a gourmet dinner that promises mesmerising eating experiences of an international standard and outstanding service. Moreover, upon departure you’ll be given an exclusive wine gift from Tyrstrup Kro.

The offer includes: • 1 x overnight stay in the Superior Room (ocean view can be purchased) • Kitchen chef’s selected 3-course menu in Salon Marienlyst • Entry to spa with indoor and outdoor facilities • Lease of robe, slippers and 1 extra towel • Large morning buffet in Salon Marienlyst • Free entry to Casino Marienlyst • Free Wi-Fi & Free parking

The offer includes: • Aperitif and a welcome note from the kitchen • 1 x 3-course gourmet menu • 1 x overnight stay • 1 x breakfast buffet featuring local specialities • 1 x exclusive wine gift from Tyrstrup Kro upon checkout

Additional fee for room with an ocean view: 200 DKK per room.

Additional fee for the period 1.4.-1.6.2018: 100 DKK per person.

Extra fee for arrival on Saturdays: 200 DKK per person.

Arrival Sunday, Monday or Tuesday including 30.05.2018.

Arrival for all days in 2018.

Price-code: L231b

Price-code: L61a

Discount code: 4441

Discount code: 4441

Can only be booked through Small Danish Hotels via www.smalldanishhotels.dk/cphpost or at +45 7080 6506.

Should you prefer to book by telephone, you are asked to please use the discount code 4441

8

NEWS

THE COPENHAGEN POST | CPHPOST.DK

ONLINE THIS WEEK THE DANES have slipped another place in the 2018 World Happiness report rankings and are now only the third happiest people in the world. The Finns, meanwhile, have jumped two spaces to overtake the Norwegians and claim the crown.

Iceland, Switzerland, the Netherlands, Canada, New Zealand, Sweden and Australia completed the top 10. Burundi finished last.

Caught on Facebook A WOMAN has lost half of her disability pension after the insurance company AP Pension checked her Facebook profile and found out about her active lifestyle, which included all her personal bests recorded via the Endomondo app. However, the insurance tribunal Ankenævnet ruled she still has a diminished ability to work. It is not thought she will have to repay any money.

A bridge no more AN ERROR led to a protected bridge being torn down and replaced in south Jutland. Fiskebæk Bridge, which was located south of Toftlund and was over 200 years old, was listed as protected, but that didn’t stop a construction team tearing it down and replacing it with a big PVC pipe to lead a local stream under the road.

Murder sentences upheld BANDIDOS gang member Ian Ramm Hansen’s life sentence for his role in the murder of three men at a flat in Frederiksberg in November 2015 has been upheld by the Eastern High Court.

Another defendant, fellow gang member Benyamin Rahimi, who has bipolar affective mental disorder, received 12 years for planning the killing. An appeal to the Supreme Court is possible.

No more appeals A TRIBUNAL has ruled that the case of a photographer who was fined for taking photos of waves of refugees on a southern Jutland motorway in 2015 will not be heard in a higher court. Martin Lehmann refused to pay a fine of 1,500 kroner on the spot, and a local court waived the punishment, despite conceding the police were “fully justified” to ask him to leave.

Crimes count for double … in the ghetto REGERINGEN

Third happiest now

23 March - 25 April 2018

New government proposal to severely publish offences in vulnerable districts reportedly has majority backing

I

T IS BELIEVED that a new government proposal to double the punishments for crimes committed in Denmark’s vulnerable districts – those contentiously referred to as ‘ghetto’ areas – has the support of Socialdemokratiet.

The proposal is part of the government’s plan, ‘One Denmark without parallel societies – No ghettos in 2030’ – 22 initiatives announced amidst a heavy police presence in Mjølnerparken on March 1.

“It should be safe to be in all corners of Denmark. We shouldn’t have certain areas that are more unsafe than others, and we have a challenge there with our parallel societies,” Søren Pape Poulsen, the justice minister, told Berlingske.

Boldly announced in Mjølnerparken ... with a heavy security detail

believe that what they need is to be further criminalised. They need to be helped out of it.”

ternal affairs minister.

“The goal is clear: families need to take care of themselves, and the kids need to learn Danish and get the best conditions possible to have a good life.”

Unlikely to succeed KELD ALBRECHTSEN, the head of vulnerable neighbourhood group Brabrand Boligforening, argues that it goes against the principles of a justice-based society and won’t have the desired impact.

“In particular, it would affect youngsters who are perhaps heading into a gang or crime,” he said according to BT tabloid. “I don’t

Stop the isolation AMONG the measures in the ‘ghetto plan’ are physically changing housing areas, lower social benefits for those moving to ghetto areas, more police presence in the same areas, obligatory institutionalisation for kids, and stiffer punishments for crimes committed in certain areas.

“We need to physically and mentally influence people who despite many years of living in Denmark have isolated themselves from our society and, in the worst case, work against our fundamental values – values like freedom, equality and judicial security,” said Simon Emil Ammitzbøll, the in-

A sixth sense ghosts

Bullying tribunal criticised Turkish Embassy attacked

SOME 14.4 percent of Danes believe in ghosts or in places being haunted, according to an Aarhus University study. Some 16.47 percent of Danes believe in a higher power, 6.85 percent in fate, 6.08 percent in astrology, 5.67 percent in magic and 5.17 percent in luck. Some 24 percent of women believe in ghosts compared to 5 percent of men.

PARENT and pupil organisation Forældre og Skole has criticised a national tribunal set up in August 2017 to deal with bullying complaints because it takes so long to act. The tribunal has so far received 18 complaints, but only two of them have been processed. Students association Foreningen Danske Skoleelever believes it is too bureaucratic.

THE TURKISH Embassy in Denmark, located in the Copenhagen district of Østerbro, was attacked on Sunday night by people throwing Molotov cocktails at around 02:54. The embassy building sustained slight fire damage and no-one was injured. Police believe that up to four perpetrators were involved.

Ex-PET head charged

WiFi habits of tourists

Media unfair to Henrik

JAKOB Scharf, the ex-head of PET, has been officially charged with breaking his contractual oath regarding handling official secrets in relation to the publication of his memoirs, ‘Syv år for PET – Jakob Scharfs tid’, in October 2016. An injunction withdrew his book from stores, but then Politiken decided to publish the book as a supplement. Scharf could face six months in prison.

USING 28 sensors in its city centre to monitor WiFi signals, the chamber of commerce and tourist organisation in Horsens in Jutland is currently assessing which attractions tourists head to. Inspired by a similar initiative in Djursland, the March project hopes to collect data that can improve the tourism industry.

However, locals are expressed concerns about their privacy.

A MEGAFON survey on behalf of TV2 and Politken reveals that 58 percent of Danes didn’t think the Danish media gave Prince Henrik a fair shake during his time in Denmark. And only 23 percent felt its treatment was acceptable. Meanwhile, the queen wrote a letter of thanks on February 21 to all those who expressed their condolences.

An official period of mourning ended on March 14.

Feeling unrepresented MEANWHILE, a national survey reveals that only 82 percent of young people with non-western backgrounds aged between 18 and 29 felt democratically represented in Copenhagen, compared to 94 percent of naturalised Danish citizens in the same age range.

The survey also revealed that 27 percent of the non-western citizens either agreed or strongly agreed that religious rules should be followed – even if they violated Danish law. (CPH POST)

ONLINE THIS WEEK TV2 exaggeration A TV2 STORY about an African family getting 327,656 kroner in social benefits, despite having left Denmark, was exaggerated.

DF and Venstre were quick to condemn the family, but other media showed it was the total sum received, and that a much smaller figure was obtained when the family were outside Denmark. TV2 pleaded a semantics defence and changed the story.

Lifetime effect of poverty AN AARHUS University study claims that children aged 13-15 are especially vulnerable to the effects of poverty. One year of poverty at that age will result in them earning 12 percent less in wages than the average worker as an adult – mainly because they are more likely to study for a shorter period and enter the labour market earlier than their better-off peers.

Too easy for hackers CHRISTIAN Dinesen, an IT security expert at the consultancy firm NNIT, has warned DR that a number of state institutions are making it far too easy for hackers by not having the latest security updates. A Rigsrevisionen survey reveals that the likes of the Foreign Ministry and railway owner Banedanmark could be vulnerable to ransomware attacks.

Less faith in police ONLY 79.2 percent of the public have confidence in the police when it comes to dealing with local crime – a figure that has fallen from 84.3 percent in 2013, when Rigspolitiet, the Danish national police, first consulted their opinion. The recent gang war and the diversion of officers to the borders and possible terror targets have seemingly taken their toll.

Oldest Denmark reference AN AARHUS University historian has found the earliest ever reference to Denmark in a text written in Italy between 470 and 526 – four centuries older than the Jelling Stones. It says the Danes are “not as intelligent as their neighbours to the south”.

In related news, archaeologists are examining 20 skeletons discovered under City Hall Square, which are believed to be 1,000 years old.

NEWS

23 March - 25 April 2018

ONLINE THIS WEEK

PIXABAY

Mentally-impaired excuse becoming the norm

Marine protection action

9

ONLINE THIS WEEK Jet engine breakthrough

A TEAM led by DTU Aqua using funding from the Foreign Ministry is assessing the effect of pollution on marine life in the Gulf of Guinea, which is primarily caused by ships and heavy industries in nearby Ghana. The findings will help Ghana to better legislate. Meanwhile, algae’s continued threat to marine life in the Baltic was discussed at a conference in Gdansk in early March.

SIX STUDENTS from the DTU and Purdue University in the US have pooled their resources to create a new IT tool that can be used to service Pratt & Whitney jet engines. The brief was to structure and effectivise servicing and reduce maintenance costs, which are often higher over an engine’s lifetime than the engine originally cost to buy.

Goodbye to fossil fuels

SEVERAL infants in a neonatal unit for sick or premature babies at Aalborg University Hospital have been found to be infected with the MRSA bacteria. Some were infectious but not showing signs of being ill. Meanwhile, a new research centre for microorganisms’ antibiotic substances has opened at the DTU. Funding is secured until 2023.

A STATE ruling means oil and gas extraction is no longer possible from Danish land and internal waters, which means Dutch company Nail Petroleum BV won’t be granted a permit to search for petroleum on islands south of Zealand. In related news, New York State has noted Denmark could be a “key partner” in its wind turbine project to service the energy needs of 1.2 million homes.

Eco ferries and buses IT HAS been a busy month for eco-transport breakthroughs.

Stena Lines has plans to convert one of its ferries so it will eventually be able to sail on battery power alone, while Roskilde Municipality intends to completely convert its buses over to electricity.

Elsewhere, a 130 million kroner biogas plant has been inaugurated in Brande, mid-Jutland.

Worst flu season ever AS OF MARCH 14, a record 4,758 people in Denmark had been hospitalised with flu so far this winter. Most have had influenza B, which Denmark failed to vaccinate against despite an EU recommendation. It is estimated that flu has caused the deaths of 246 mostly elderly people. Meanwhile, a white-tailed eagle died of bird flu near Slagelse in Zealand in late February.

Free measles jabs FROM APRIL 1, the health authority Sundhedsstyrelsen will be offering free MMR (measles, mumps and rubella) vaccinations to adults – particularly those travelling to countries where measles is prevalent. Some 21,315 people caught the disease in Europe last year – up from 5,273 cases in 2016 – resulting in 35 deaths.

Infant MRSA infections

Prescribed reading for the authorities

Criminals in Denmark are four times more likely than their Swedish counterparts to be given treatment rather than a punishment

Mentally-ill nation THE FIGURES also mirror those released by the Sundhedsstyrelsen health authority for 2017 that reveal 13.2 percent of the adult population (623,000 people) have mental health issues – up from 10 percent in 2010.

The number of Danes who say they have a high stress level has risen from 20.8 percent in 2010 to 25.1 percent in 2017, which equates to over 1 million people. Unemployed people tend to be the worst affected by stress.

It might not be surprising to learn that the number of cases in which the police have to force someone into mental care has shot up by 74 percent since 2017.

In total they responded to 4,463 calls that involved them having to commit someone against their will – up from 2,567 registered cases a decade earlier. The problem is further stretching already limited police resources.

Sometimes the police are too late. On March 15, a 19-year-old man deliberately drove his car into Thisted Airport in north Jutland, setting the building

alight and killing himself in the process.

Illegal fishing rampant

Brain Prize success

Feeding the addicts

GREENPEACE has caught six trawlers operating in parts of the Øresund where the practice has been banned for 80 years. All of them are based at Gilleleje Harbour. Meanwhile, a DTU study reveals many fishermen are throwing out unprofitable fish, normally because of their size, despite EU rules prohibiting the practice. In 90 percent of the cases, the catches aren’t logged, which is also illegal.

LUNDBECKFONDEN has awarded its 1 million euro Brain Prize to a team for developing our understanding of Alzheimer’s disease and other dementia disorders. Meanwhile, a study by the Danish society Alzheimerforeningen reveals that 73 percent of close relatives of sufferers experience negative impacts on their own health.

Alzheimerforeningen has called for more support.

A SURVEY of 99 GPs has revealed the majority (83) are failing to follow official procedures when it comes to prescribing addictive medications such as morphine and treatments for anxiety or insomnia, reports DR. Not only are doctors prescribing over the telephone without meeting the patients, they are often giving them the green light to take lengthy courses.

D

ANISH criminals are almost four times as likely to receive mental health treatment, as opposed to being punished, than their Swedish counterparts, according to figures from the Danish regions.

In 2016, 4,062 Danes received treatment instead of being punished because according to the law they were deemed to be insane at the moment of the crime. In 2001, there were only 1,445 cases.

In Sweden, where the population is more than double Denmark’s, the figure was around 2,000 criminals – 20 per 100,000 residents, compared to Denmark’s 74.

Experts believe the Danish law on the subject, which stems from the 1970s, should be looked into to see if it functions optimally. For example, treatment can be given to those convicted of lesser crimes, such as burglary.

Empty psychiatric beds HOWEVER, 150 beds set up in secure surroundings for mentally-ill patients considered a danger to society will remain empty, reports Jyllands-Posten.

As part of the government’s latest 400 million kroner psychiatric care package, the provision was made to allocate the beds in the hope that fewer employees at psychiatric homes would be attacked. Five have lost their lives at the hands of patients in the last four years.

Nevertheless, 15 beds provided at a psychiatric home in Vejle have remained empty since their introduction on March 1, and in Greater Copenhagen, where 47 beds will be made available, the municipalities estimate they only require 25.

Sophie Hæstorp Andersen, the head of the Capital Region, questions whether the money could have been better spent elsewhere in psychiatric care, as the beds appear to be a “nuisance the municipalities apparently do not want”. (CPH POST)

Tongue-tie concerns AT LEAST 120 families have travelled to the Netherlands to have a simple surgery performed on their infants to cure their tongue-tie – a condition in which the frenulum at the bottom of the tongue is too short and tight, restricting movement and impeding breastfeeding. Danish doctors tend to be more reluctant to recommend or carry out a frenetomy due to perceived risks.

Life science ambition THE GOVERNMENT has unveiled 36 initiatives to propel Denmark to the top of the European life science sector. The initiatives will aim to make it more attractive to research and develop in Denmark and improve the access to qualified labour. Between 2001 and 2015, the number of full-time positions within the life science sector increased by 45 percent.

Cow tax recommended A REPORT released by Det Miljøøkonomiske Råd has recommended that a tax of 2,280 kroner per cow per year be levied on farmers to tackle methane pollution and reduce greenhouse gases. The report recommended that farmers who introduce measures to restrict emissions should be rewarded financially, so they would actually get some of the money back.

10 NEWS

THE COPENHAGEN POST | CPHPOST.DK

ONLINE THIS WEEK LINE LEONHARDT and Dorte Schou’s book ‘Shithole’ was withdrawn in early March by their publisher Høst & Søn after it emerged they used the real names of their subjects, reports Radio 24syv. ‘Shithole’ follows the exploits of real-life homeless youngsters, such as Romer and Burger, who mainly hang out in Kongens Have in Copenhagen.

It was published on February 23.

Duped into agreeing THE MUSICIAN Master Fatman has revealed to P1 that he was duped by a 2002 letter into giving his permission to a US group to name their group the Gay Nigger Association of America in tribute to his 1992 film ‘Gay Niggers From Outer Space’. It later transpired the group were an alt-right trolling and hacking group that wanted to be able to use racial slur words freely online.

Disaster series planned NORDISK Film has confirmed plans to make a miniseries about the Scandinavian Star disaster to mark the 30th anniversary of the fire that claimed 159 lives in April 1990. Spread across three decades, the series will most particularly examine the aftermath and search for truth as investigators strove to establish the cause.

Not #1 for long CAROLINE Wozniacki’s reign as world number one didn’t last long. Superior results for Simona Halep since their meeting in the final of the Australian Open have seen the Romanian leapfrog her.

And Woz’s cause was not helped by a last-16 exit at Indian Wells last week, where she lost to the eventual runner-up, Russia’s Daria Kasatkina.

Dismal in Pyeongchang “WE NEED to face the fact that we aren’t a winter sports nation,” said Team Denmark head Lone Hansen following a disappointing Winter Olympics in Pyeongchang in which both the curling teams finished last.

Denmark’s best placed finisher was speedskater Viktor Hald Thorup in the men’s mass start in which he came fifth.

Find your own Little Miss Sunshine

ONLINE THIS WEEK SUPER DUPER TENNIS

Burger not amused

23 March - 25 April 2018

Is Caroline Wozniacki sharing your home? Put the kids to the test at Super Duper Tennis DAVE SMITH

C

AROLINE Wozniacki’s recent triumph in the Australian Open, the first grand slam title of her career, will no doubt encourage many young Danish girls to take up the sport, but in a country bereft of tennis courts, where are they supposed to learn?

Well, one new company has the answers. Super Duper Tennis thinks outside of the court to make tennis more accessible for kids to learn and play.

It’s easy to overlook, but a tennis court isn’t an essential learning tool

success and confidence when learning the game.

Easter opportunity CLASSES are grouped according to age and skill in low ratio settings, and kids are taught a progressive based curriculum in English by enthusiastic, experienced and passionate coaches.

Starting from April 7, Super Duper Tennis is offering group kids tennis classes (ages 3-11), both on weekdays and at the weekends, at indoor venues in Vesterbro, Osterbro and Valby, as well as a four-day Easter Break Camp (March 26-29) for kids

Adult classes too MEANWHILE, adult group fitness tennis classes on the small courts are also available for beginners on Sundays in Valby.

Adults will get fit to music while working on their game. Classes start on April 7.

For all inquiries, contact Super Duper Tennis at cph@ superdupertennis.com or 2195 1090.

Stunning opening

First sex doll brothel

Volunteer deposits

‘SÅ LÆNGE jeg lever’, a new film about the life of Danish musician John Mogensen, set the box office alight over its opening weekend in early March, selling 91,500 tickets – the highest total since ‘Jagten’ in 2013. In related news, the rights to broadcast the Oscar-nominated Danish-Syrian documentary ‘The Last Man In Aleppo’ have now been picked up in 57 countries.

AARHUS has become the fourth city in Europe to open a sex doll brothel following Barcelona, Paris and Dortmund.

‘Doll House’ offers a choice of five 50 kilo dolls, which are made of thermoplastic rubber and stainless steel, in themed rooms such as ‘classroom’ and ‘doctor’s room’. The venue’s tag line is: “The place where all gentleman are welcome and where girls don’t say ‘no’.”

SEVERAL music festivals, including NorthSide and Tinderbox, will request their volunteers pay a 300 kroner deposit to deter them from skipping work, which will then be paid back if they work all their shifts. Meanwhile, NorthSide is reducing the number of its tickets following complaints that conditions were cramped in 2017. It has also cut its music budget.

Museum’s helping hand

Shape of things to come

MOESGAARD Museum has played a pivotal role in landing Denmark the IAAF World Cross Country Championships in Aarhus in March 2019. Organisers Dansk Atletik Forbund arranged a trial race over their proposed course, which included traversing the roof of the museum. The brewer Mikkeller has already been confirmed as a sponsor.

DAN LAUSTSEN, the 63-yearold cinematographer shortlisted for an Oscar for ‘The Shape of Water’, has revealed that offers of work have been increasing since the nominations were announced in January. In related news, Viborg animation company Nørlum is eagerly awaiting the critical response to a new Disney series ‘Big Hero 6’, for which it made 15 of the 25 episodes.

UEFA HAS confirmed that the the number of teams qualifying directly for the 32-team group stage will rise from 22 to 26, thus making it much harder for clubs from smaller footballing nations like Denmark. Spain, England, Germany and Italy will get four automatic qualifiers. UEFA has also changed the kick-off times so games start at 18:55 and 21:00 CET.

DANISH TV operator Viasat told Jamie Carragher his punditry services would not be required for its coverage of the Champions League clash between Manchester United and Seville on March 13 after it emerged the former footballer had spat in the face of a young girl a few days beforehand. However, it has not ruled out working with him again.

Royal is a model

The FUNdamentals LAUNCHED in New York City, Super Duper Tennis has recently brought its brand of ‘street tennis’ to Copenhagen with fun-filled group tennis classes available for kids aged 3 to 11.

Super Duper Tennis classes focus on providing a safe, exciting and educational experience.

Kids learn the FUNdamentals of tennis on sized-down kids courts, often set up in unconventional settings, where kids play with smaller racquets, balls that bounce at their height and lowered nets – all to ensure early

CL dreams more remote

Viasat axes spitter

aged 4-11 in Valby.

Registration for the spring classes and Easter Break camp are available online at: copenhagen.superdupertennis.com.

PRINCE Nikolai, 18, the eldest grandson of the Danish queen, is pursuing a career in modelling.

Represented by Scoop Models, he appeared at London Fashion Week on February 17, where he modelled the new fall and winter collection of Burberry. Princess Maria-Olympia of Denmark and Greece, a grand-daughter of the queen’s sister Anne-Marie, is also a model.

More Michelin stars DENMARK has two new Michelin-star restaurants – Jordnær in Gentofte and MeMu in Vejle – and now has a total of 30 stars, two behind Sweden.

Kadeau in Copenhagen has become the third two-star eatery in the country, joining AOC and Henne Kirkeby Kro. Geranium remains the only three-star eatery.

Pharrell and Beyonce NORTHSIDE has unveiled three more headliners for this year’s festival: US hip-hop group N.E.R.D featuring Pharrell Williams, US indie rockers The War On Drugs, and Body Count, the US metal/rap combo band with Ice T. Meanwhile, Tom Jones (DR Koncerthuset, June 30) and Beyonce and Jay-Z (Telia Parken, June 23) have also confirmed June concerts.

Ice hockey smoke bomb A CROWD of 3,500 spectators had to be evacuated when a smoke bomb was detonated at a game between Herning Blue Fox and Herlev Eagles in the quarter-finals of the Danish Cup on March 9. The game resumed at Herning Isstadion once local police had determined it was safe for the spectators to return.

BUSINESS

23 March - 25 April 2018

ONLINE THIS WEEK Miscoms at TDC TELECOMS giant TDC has experienced a series of disruptions to its services over the last month. The worst incident, on March 5, affected all telephones and landlines that receive either broadband or 4G – around 1.85 million people.

Eyes on the US and UAE BRIAN Mikkelsen, the business minister, recently visited the US and Mexico to strengthen trade relations, while an Environment and Food Ministry trip to Dubai in the UAE sought to promote sustainable solutions within food production and water tech. Meanwhile, Denmark has appointed a ‘TechVelopment’ advisor to Nairobi as part of a strategy to enhance it tech presence in Kenya.

Golfer precedent A LANDMARK decision could heavily impact on employees on flexitime. The insurance company ETU Forsikring dismissed a flexitime employee who it discovered was regularly playing golf during working hours, but it was successfully argued in court that this was in line with his contract as he was fulfilling all his obligations. He was compensated 386,000 kroner plus costs.

Property still pricey FALLING apartment prices in Aarhus and Copenhagen over the first quarter of 2018 have been attributed to rising interest rates, a tightening up of the laws regarding credit, and falling prices in Oslo and Stockholm.

However, prices are still expected to rise 6.4 percent this year – one of the reasons low-income earners struggle to afford to live in the major cities, reports Momentum.

Finnish expansion MOBILEPAY has signed a deal with Finland’s biggest retail chain S Group and the chain’s bank, S-Bank, which means Finns can start using the Danish digital payment system at 1,000 supermarkets across the country this spring, along with an additional 600 businesses.

Is more research the answer?

Denmark is among the world leaders for patents per capita, but the export figures don’t always follow the script

Meanwhile, Parliament has passed a law to ensure that confidential consultancies stay between the company and its patent consultant – a move that will safeguard Danish companies’ secrets in the US where most of the world’s patent cases are processed.

Current legislation forces Danish companies into risky and costly processes to avoid their business secrets being revealed during trials.

country’s biggest market, fell over 5.2 percent the three months.

Patents = success?

NEVERTHELESS, Denmark is not short of talent. According to the 2017 annual report published by the European Patent Office, it ranks third in the world (behind the Swiss and the Dutch) for patent applications per capita – 377 patent applications per million citizens – following a 13.1 percent rise in volume last year.

The three companies responsible for the greatest share of the 2,114 applications lodged last year in Denmark were Novozymes (193 applications), Novo Nordisk (144) and Vestas (82). Some 65 percent stemmed from the Capital Region

Exports = jobs?

THE GOVERNMENT has also unveiled a new strategy for economic diplomacy to boost growth and employment in Denmark.

The strategy hangs its hat on increasing exports and attracting foreign investment into Denmark, as well as tackling the challenges associated with protectionist trends that are emerging in the world today.

However, while the number of people employed in Denmark grew by 2,000 to 2,721,000 over the course of December 2017 – just 1,100 below the highest level ever – Danish exports are falling, according to Danmarks Statistik.

The rate fell 0.3 percent in January – a consequence of the fall in interest among mainly EU countries such as Germany and the UK, most particularly in the food and machinery sectors – capping a three-month decline of 0.8 percent on the same period a year earlier.

Exports to Germany, the

Revenue = success?

DANISH companies are continuing to report mostly rosy results.

Pump manufacturer Grundfos and shoe manufacturer Ecco posted record turnovers of 25.6 billion and 9.5 billion kroner.

Less delighted, however, was Lego as both its turnover (35 billion) and its profit (7.8 billion) fell by around 10 percent. Confirmation that it has started producing a new line of sustainable bricks made from plant-based plastic checked its disappointment slightly, though.

Lego aims to be completely sustainable by 2030.

Progress was steady at Bavarian Nordic and SAS. The biotech company saw turnover soar 40 percent to just over 1.4 billion kroner, but was disappointed with the performance of its cancer vaccine Prostvac. And the airline made an expected quarterly loss (239 million Swedish kroner) as streamlining continues.

Finally, dairy giant Arla is taking nothing for granted. It will shortly implement a savings plan to cut costs incurred in travel, meetings, recruitment, marketing, R&D and consulting, after an efficiency program last autumn failed to have the desired effect. The exact details will be confirmed in April. (CPH POST)

Foot in the door

When it rains, it pours

Tat will do nicely

FOLLOWING complaints from their classmates that they couldn’t get interviews, a group of students from Copenhagen Business Academy created Novorésumé, a startup specialising in attractive cover letter and résumé templates. It has latterly gone on to become an international success, accumulating a user base of 457,000 people across 190 countries. “Novorésumé saw how technology and design could enhance people’s chances of getting job interviews,” Marie Helles, who mentored the company’s founders at CPH Business Incubator, told CPH POST. (DW)

FOR BUSINESS founders to be successful in Copenhagen they require cash, dedicated colleagues, a novel idea and opportunities to establish relations with future corporate partners. In 2010, Rainmaking created ‘startupbootcamp’ – a program designed to aid this process by bringing local business innovators together with financial backers – and now they have opened a second space in Copenhagen at Pier 47 on Langelinie, with capacity for 400 innovators. “The Danish startup scene has momentum right now,” Rainmaking partner Martin Bjergegaard told CPH POST. (DW)

FIRST modelled by the ancient Egyptians, and then used to show individuals’ affiliations to certain causes or communities, tattoos have always been popular. But when Tattoodo was set up in 2013, it was responding to a new global trend that was redefining the industry. Tattoodo’s online site and app for individuals to discuss and share tattoo designs has been successful, attracting around 20 million users per month. “Tattooing has a huge global audience, with roughly 36 percent of millennials inked around the world,” Caspar Høgh, the COO of Tattoodo, told CPH POST. (DW)

A

RECORD number of Danish companies are turning to research and education in their hunt for success, according to Danmarks Statistik figures for 2016, which reveal they shelled out 43 billion kroner – up from 39.5 billion kroner in 2015.

However, while R&D investment has increased by 15 percent since 2010, Sweden (18 percent) and Norway (32 percent) have seen bigger rises, and it is feared not enough smaller Danish companies are getting involved – partly due to the state cutting 700 million kroner from Innovation Fund Denmark.

READ THE REST OF THESE STORIES AT CPHPOST.DK

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ONLINE THIS WEEK Putin link to bank A 2013 WHISTLEBLOWER report in connection with Danske Bank’s money-laundering scandal at its Estonia branch has implicated the family of Russian President Vladimir Putin and high ranking FSB officials, reports Berlingske newspaper.

The report also indicated that Danske Bank had “probably” committed a crime and “assisted in money laundering”.

Smaller for Maersk MAERSK Line intends to order fewer massive container ships in order to give its fleet more of a balance. Out of its current order book consisting of 20 ships, only six are of the largest Triple E type. Many harbours aren’t even equipped to load and unload the large ships.

Redesigning Entebbe COWI HAS designed a new passenger terminal and cargo building for Entebbe Airport in Uganda, which the Danish engineering group is renovating along with Chinese and Lebanese contractors. It has also outlined improvements for landing strips and taxiways.

Vestas number one VESTAS remains the world’s top supplier of wind turbines for the second year running, topping the FTI Consulting ranking ahead of Siemens Gamesa, which jumped two spots into second place, Goldwind, General Electric (down two spots) and Enercon. Spanish firm Siemens Gamesa believes it will overtake Vestas in 2020.

Media shake-up BERLINGSKE Media has shaved 93 jobs – about a tenth of its staff. Metroxpress will be renamed BT Metro and its online site closed along with business.dk and aok.dk, but not bt.dk, which will remain free.

The production of BT tabloid, which will be reduced in size, and Berlingske will be taken over by Wunderkind, while the broadsheet’s news site will introduce a paywall of 99 kroner per month.

12 OPINION

THE COPENHAGEN POST | CPHPOST.DK

21st Century Alchemy is a column for career-minded professionals, entrepreneurs and small businesses written by David Parkins, a business (re) development specialist, company culture strategist, career coach and IMCSA speaker (ep3.dk)

I

T DOESN’T matter if your career is sky-rocketing or has tanked, it doesn’t matter if you’re still in high school or a superstar with 20 years of experience, it doesn’t matter if you’re an intern or the CEO, regardless of where you are and what you’re doing, professionally or personally, anyone who is serious about getting better needs both a coach and a mentor.

Alright for athletes …

ERIC SCHMIDT (Google and Apple) once said: “Every famous athlete, every famous performer, has somebody who’s a coach.

Somebody who can watch what they’re doing and say: ‘Is that what you really meant; did you really do that thing?’ They can give them perspective. The one thing that people are never good at is seeing themselves as others see them. A coach really, really helps.”

STEPHEN GADD

Bill Gates (Microsoft) said: “Everyone needs a coach. It doesn’t matter whether you’re a basketball player, a tennis player, a gymnast, or a bridge player. We all need people who will give us feedback. That’s how we improve.”

Coaching and mentoring make sense if you’re an athlete or you’re doing something competitive. Your coach would focus on improving your form and technique and building your stamina and you’d spar or play against your mentor because in some ways they’re better than you.

But useless for us?

BUT SADLY, many of us don’t have the same mentality when it comes to our daily lives or our career. We say: “I’m doing just fine” or “I got this” and when things are going well, it’s probably true. But what happens when ‘doing just fine’ is no longer enough – when it’s no longer satisfying? What happens when you experience setbacks and obstacles? What happens when you don’t know how to move forwards?

It would be utter nonsense for a football team to NOT have a coach. It would be utter nonsense for any team, department or company to not have a coach either. It would be foolish for a professional athlete to not have a training or sparring partner.

But it would also be foolish for a professional [fill in the blank] to not have a training or sparring partner too.

But most of us don’t. No matter how well intended, most of us hate advice and criticism.

Most of us are petrified at performance evaluations. Why? Why are we so unwilling to receive and respond to good advice on how to do live our lives and do our jobs better? Is it pride? Is it fear?

Straight, No Chaser An Englishman abroad, Stephen has lived and worked in Denmark since 1978. His interests include music, art, cooking, real ale, politics and cats.

PIXABAY

DAVID PARKINS 21st CENTURY ALCHEMY

23 March - 25 April 2018

In any segment of society, the domino effect could be just around the corner

A

SK MOST people about political corruption and they will probably conjure up an image of late-night meetings in smoke-filled rooms, suitcases full of money changing hands, ministers feathering their own nests, slush funds etc.

They probably also associate these things with countries far from these shores, where dictators hold sway or the rule of law is lax or non-existent.

Not so squeaky clean DANES love to bring up the fact that they are one of – if not the – least corrupt countries in the world. But earlier this year, Denmark received a rap over the knuckles from Transparency International.

In the organisation’s yearly poll ranking 180 countries according to their perceived level of public sector corruption, Denmark slipped down to second place after having been joint-first since 2012.

Why was that? The report mentioned several specific things: gifts for municipal IT contracts, tax authority SKAT’s incompetence in giving away 12 billion kroner to fraudsters, a lack of transparency over private cash for political parties, and no register of lobbyists.

Denmark is one of the only countries in the civilized world

where it is not compulsory for MPs to register their business interests.

Back in 2012, a register of politicians’ meetings with lobbyists was introduced with the laudable aim of keeping tabs on who met with what pressure group. However, it had an extremely short life-span, being dropped again after only a couple of months.

Why are Danish politicians so afraid of transparency?

A cautionary tale AS A CONSEQUENCE of the Freedom of Information Act, the UK press in 2009 was full of stories about MPs’ widespread misuse of parliamentary allowances and expenses for anything from cleaning moats, erecting duck houses, employing family members in non-existent jobs etc.

Some were even doing up the London flats they were entitled to in order to be near the Houses of Parliament so that they could sell them later at a huge personal profit. Tony Blair’s expenses were shredded ‘by mistake’ when they were the subject of a legal bid to have them published.

Why should anyone think Danish MPs are fundamentally more honest – especially if there is even less scrutiny? Just look at all the scrapes current PM Lars Løkke Rasmussen has been in, with creative use of expenses, and receiving gifts, to name but two.

Join the club THERE is also the matter of the ‘business clubs’ that exist to raise money for political parties.

There is only limited transparency there as the rules allow anonymous contributions not exceeding 20,000 kroner. Politiken estimated that at least six of the candidates running for mayor around the country recently were supported by clubs such as these.

During 2015, Maersk gave 4 million kroner to Venstre, Konservative, Liberal Alliance, Dansk Folkeparti and Radikale.

Coincidentally, these were the parties negotiating a new contract for North Sea exploration.

The company ended up with a tax relief package worth 5 billion kroner up until 2025.

An ailing political culture NONE OF this is illegal. But it could be argued that it is not healthy for the political system in general.

When politicians, parties and ministers accept money from big business or trade unions, how can we be sure they are impartial?

Maybe it’s time the Danish public woke up and started seriously agitating for these practices to be abolished. In addition to open registers of interests, private party funding could be scrapped altogether – from whatever source. Then we’d all know where we stand.

OPINION

23 March - 25 April 2018

ADRIAN MACKINDER

Mackindergarten British writer and performer Adrian Mackinder (adrianmackinder.co.uk) and his pregnant Danish wife moved from London to Copenhagen in September 2015. He now spends all his time wrestling with fatherhood, the unexpected culture clash and being an Englishman abroad.

An Actor’s Life

13

NEXT ISSUE

IAN BURNS

Fashion Jam JENNY EGSTEN-ERICSON IN 2 ISSUES

PIXABAY

The Road Less Taken JESSICA ALEXANDER

Mishra’s Mishmash MRUTYUANJAI MISHRA IN 3 ISSUES

Crazier than Christmas VIVIENNE MCKEE

Early Rejser

True enough, the Krankies became invisible when they hit their 40s

T

HIS YEAR I turn 40 – which apparently means I am no longer culturally relevant. That’s what marketing companies and advertisers believe. I join a demographic whose views don’t count. I am no longer valid as a human. I have no place in society. I am worthless.

And may I say this: what a relief. What a load off. Because I don’t mind telling you: I was getting pretty sick of having my finger on the pulse. I was tired of being a cultural touchpoint.

I was fed up of people phoning me up – and they did, every day – asking me about the hot new sound, or who is the best Spice Girl?

Like anyone needs my advice on that. Everyone knows.

It’s Sneezy Spice. Easy. Because I remember the ‘90s. There was Sneezy Spice, Angry Spice, Dopey Spice, Bashful Spice, Creepy Spice, Old Spice, All Spice and Oasis.

Anyway. What does all this mean? It means I’m free and I’m free to be honest. Because if what I say doesn’t matter, then it doesn’t matter what I say.

Descent into madness AGE IS a curious phenomenon. At the start of your adult

life, you have no experience.

You’ve done nothing. You’re a blank sheet. And your first job interview is a handy reminder of how little you’ve achieved. I remember in my first interview being asked about my greatest achievement, and all I could muster was the time I made a really tasty sandwich.

I studied theology and philosophy at university. That’s no good in job interviews. Why do I want this job? Why do any of us want a job? What is work anyway? Is this really an interview?

Are we even here?

But here’s the kicker – and they don’t tell you this when you start out – after a certain age, your experience works against you. You become part of the problem: an obstacle, a blockage. You become the grumpy bastard at work who sits in meetings, arms folded, being negative about everything, simply because you’ve seen the same terrible ideas emerge time and time again and you know they never succeed.

What does all this mean? It means there is a sweet spot in life – probably about half an hour long – when you know enough to know you might be good at something, but not enough to know that, in reality, you’re not.

Child genius I AM TRYING not to pass my cynicism onto my son. It’s not fair, he’s only two. I want him to grow up in Denmark confident he can achieve anything he sets his mind to. That’s not easy in a country that has embraced Janteloven, a moronic Nordic ideology conceived by a miserable Danish-Norwegian author specifically constructed to crush individual personal ambition.

Nice one, Danes.

I shouldn’t worry. I’m convinced my son has already got life all figured out. Why do things for yourself when you can have two adult slaves run around after you all day? I know he knows how to get stuff. I’ve seen him foraging around every drawer and cupboard in the kitchen. He could probably rustle up something not out of place on the menu at Noma, but he knows it’s far better to let Mum and Dad do it.

Right now, life is simple.

Keep him fed, keep him active and neutralise any potential tantrums at the first opportunity. What does all this mean?

It means that even with 40 years’ life experience, I still have no clue what I’m doing. But that’s half the fun, right?

ADAM WELLS

Straight Up

IN 4 ISSUES

ZACH KHADUDU

A Dane Abroad KIRSTEN LOUISE PEDERSEN

Do you want to learn to play the piano or even the violin but don’t have time to leave the house?

No stress, more fun – I can teach you at home.

A very experienced teacher with a good sense of humour is looking forward to hearing from you. neitinokkonen78@gmail.com

14 COMMUNITY

THE COPENHAGEN POST | CPHPOST.DK

23 March - 25 April 2018

ABOUT TOWN

PHOTOS BY HASSE FERROLD

The last month has seen four embassies celebrate their national days. First off, it was the turn of Iran on February 9 at its embassy (left) where ambassador Morteza Moradian’s guests included his Polish counterpart Henryka Moscicka-Dendys. Two weeks later, Estonian ambassador Märt Volmer welcomed many members of the diplomatic corps to the Hotel d’Angleterre to celebrate his country’s centenary (centre left). Among those gathered were (left-right) Icelandic ambassador Benedikt Bjarki Jonsson, the former Danish minister Bertel Haarder, US ambassador Carla Sands, [Volmer], Lithuanian ambassador Ginte Damusis and Latvian ambassador Kaspars Ozolins. Next up were Bulgaria’s celebrations on March 2 (centre right), where ambassador Roussi Ivanov oversaw proceedings at his residence in Charlottenlund. And finally, Ghana held a colourful celebration at the Hellerup Park Hotel on March 6 (right), which included a ‘cutting the cake’ ceremony involving (left-right) the Ivory Coast’s ambassador Mina Balde Laurent, Burkina Faso’s ambassador Maria-Goretti Agaleoue, Ghanaian ambassador Amerley Awua-Asamoa and Cuban ambassador Yiliam Sardinas Gomez

As is always the case, there have been a number of cultural events organised by the diplomatic corps over the last month. Hungarian ambassador László Hellebrandt presided over a concert by the Cantemus Pro Musica Girls’ Choir at Roskilde Domkirke on February 23 (left). On the same day, Austrian ambassador Maria Rotheiser-Scotti (black boots) presented a classical Viennese concert performance of ‘A Journey of Dreams’ by Niklas Walentin and Alexander McKenzie (centre left) at the Italian Institute of Culture in Hellerup. Also present were Norwegian ambassador Aud Kolberg (red top) and Macedonian ambassador Naim Memeti (dark suit). On March 1, Icelandic ambassador Benedikt Bjarki Jonsson visited Nordatlantens Brygge to see ‘Under the Tree’ (centre), one of a number of films being shown in a North Atlantic film festival. And a day later, Russian ambassador Mikhail Vanin (dark suit) was in attendance as a new bust of composer Peter Tchaikovsky was unveiled at Gamle Scene (centre right), the venue of so many renditions of his classic ballets. Finally, on March 13, Canadian ambassador opened Francophone Film Weeks at Cinemateket (right), a festival that will run until March 30. The opening film was ‘Montréal La Blanche’

There were a number of diplomatic corps events marking International Women’s Day (IWD). South African ambassador Zindzi Mandela and Australian ambassador Mary Ellen Miller held a joint lunch event at the Odd Fellow Palæet on March 8 (left), which included inspiring speeches and a performance

by Danish-Zambian singer Kwamie Liv. One day later, the Romanian Embassy co-organised an event on entrepreneurship in Romania and Denmark with an IWD slant (centre), which saluted pioneering companies in the area of organic cosmetics. And then unrelated to the IWD, but perhaps as a precursor of sorts, the ambassador spouse group visited Cinemateket on February 27 (right)

The new Serbian ambassador is Jasmina Mitrovic Maric. Dobrodošli!

US ambassador Carla Sands was Discover America Denmark’s guest of honour at its USA Travel Show event at the Radisson Blu Scandinavia Hotel on March 5, where she joined DAD managing director Karin Gert Nielsen (red dress), CPH POST chief executive Hans Hermansen (red tie) and DAD senior director Chris Ellis

COMMUNITY

23 March - 25 April 2018

THE COPENHAGEN POST | CPHPOST.DK

T

HE ARTISTS of tomorrow were in full view at the International School of Hellerup on Rygårds Alle, as two exhibitions opened on March 14, drawing in a wide range of inquisitive spectators.

15

Students, teachers, family members and the odd alumnus filled the exhibition room to admire this upper school double-header, and they weren’t disappointed.

The MYP 5 Personal Pro-

ject Exhibition has been six months in the planning and is as the name suggests a chance for the students to really reach within and take inspiration from their introspection. Not only were the final artworks on

display, but also the work process, as the MYP 5 was just as much about the journey as the completion.

The DP 2 Exit Exhibition, meanwhile, was the culmination of the Diploma

Programme Visual Arts course – two years on a canvas as the students exhibited their greatest hits along with with a written rationale articulating their purpose and intention.

The ladies will be participating in a pre-season tournament in early April, with the official Women’s Sevens Tournament kicking off at the end of April.

As always, the Exiles are open to inviting new teammates to

join, whether or not you have any prior experience!

They are truly open to anyone trying it out – the club is a great mix of university students, full-time workers, expats (from over 15 countries) and Danes –

and also have a very strong social membership!

Exiles train twice a week – during the winter on Tuesday at DTU (women 18:00, men 19:30) and Saturday at Lyngby Stadium (15:00), and during the

summer at the DTU on Tuesday and Thursday (both 18:00).

For further information, contact seniors@exiles.dk or ladies@ exiles.dk, and find out more at exiles.dk and via Facebook and Instagram.

DAVE SMITH

ALL PHOTOS: INTERNATIONAL SCHOOL OF HELLERUP

OUT AND ABOUT

DAVE SMITH ALL PHOTOS: EXILES

T

HE EXILES are getting ready for their 2018 season!

The men’s team are heading off to Germany for a pre-season tour, and their season officially kicks off later this month!

SCIENCEANDCOCKTAILS.ORG

Learn about data and privacy protection at this Science & Cocktails event from Yves-Alexandre de Montjoye of Imperial College London. Discussion is followed by music and cocktails (April 10, 20:00; Fabriksområdet, Cph K; free adm)

Former US President Bill Clinton is among the speakers at a conference about leadership that is aimed at toplevel management, which is organised by Presidents Institute (April 17, 12:00-21:00; Comwell Conference Center Copenhagen, Center Boulevard 5, Cph S)

A rare chance to see an English-language musical, which is an Easter treat to boot. Teatret Gorgerne wowed all-comers when they last staged ‘Jesus Christ Superstar’ (March 30 & 31, 19:30; Købnerkirken, Shetlandsgade 6, Cph S; 150kr, billetto.dk)

A yoga workshop series in four parts, timed with the moon phases, with science-based theory and nutrition information (April 4, 19:00; sign up via SMS at 2014 9683; free adm)

PIXABAY

PIXABAY

LEIF JØRGENSEN

Learn about various leisure activities and upcoming events and network with other international citizens (April 5, 17:00-18:30; Huset-KBH, Rådhusstræde 13, Cph K; sign up via ihcph.kk.dk; free adm)

GAGE SKIDMORE

COMING UP SOON

Enjoy a night of laughter with the English Comedy Night featuring comedians from Scotland and New Zealand (April 12; Downtown Dubliner, Ny Østergade 14, Cph K; 120kr) XIOU WANG

16 COMMUNITY

THE COPENHAGEN POST | CPHPOST.DK

23 March - 25 April 2018

Ireland the brave! Icy winds cannot deter the St Patrick’s Day Parade

Photos: Hasse Ferrold Words: Ben Hamilton

H

UNDREDS braved icy winds to join the St Patrick’s Day Parade on Saturday March 17 as Copenhagen was taken over by a multitude of green.

An annual fixture since 2005, the crowds started assembling at Rådhuspladsen in the early afternoon, where they were treated to Gaelic dancing and music, along with a welcome Irish coffee and pint of Guinness or two.

And then at 17:00, the procession took off for a one-hour walk around the city centre.

It might have been cold, but at least it didn’t rain!

Actor Tom McEwan once again stepped up to play St Patrick in his famous furry coat. He was joined at the front of the procession by Irish ambassador Cliona Manahan

Regular participants Gordon Pipes and Drums were out in force, as were the Dark Green School of Irish Dancing, and what parade would be complete without the Irish wolfhounds?

Two days earlier, there was at a celebration at the Radisson Royal Hotel, which turned green for the occasion. Catherine Byrne, the Irish health minister, addressed those gathered, including (right) Ambassador Manahan and hotel manager Brian Gleeson

23 April - 25 April 2018

COMMUNITY

17

Leg-tied and a little legless: saluting the legends of 2018

Photos: Ayelah Willumsgaard Words: Ben Hamilton

H

ER FAMOUS green wellies are unmistakable. And what colour is her bicycle?

Silly question!

For 18 years, Siobhán Kelleher-Pedersen has been organising the St Patrick’s three-legged Charity Race in every shade of green imaginable. Every year, it is a knockout success.

And Saturday March 17 was no different, as 520 racers braved icy winds to take on the challenge of running three-legged to six pubs and drinking half a pint of beer at each.

This year’s race raised 53,630 kroner, taking the total generated since it became a charity a decade ago to 462,780 kroner.

Who would bet against them raising a million by 2028!

The winners were a pairing called Junior Senior (Mathias Randrup and Mathias Holst) who romped home in just 16 minutes 30 seconds, three quarters of a minute clear of their nearest rivals. Pictured with the victorious pair are Siobhán and her big brother, John Kelleher, a co-organiser since he hung up his racing boots

The race attracts all manner of wacky costumes and hats, and over the years more and more mixed pairings have been entering – one even won it once

Irish ambassador Cliona Manahan (centre with Siobhán) had the honour of starting the race, which visited Kennedy’s (registration), Axeltorv (the start), The Shamrock Inn, Pub and Sport, The Globe, Victoria Pub and The Dubliner (finish)

18 HISTORY

THE COPENHAGEN POST | CPHPOST.DK

23 March - 25 April 2018

Danish-Irish conquests: pillaging, pubs and the Paddy’s Day phenomenon The two countries have a lot in common – and this camaraderie was no more evident during their 2018 World Cup playoff in November BEN HAMILTON

D

ENMARK and the Republic of Ireland have a lot in common. There’s the constant rain, of course, and their love of beer, and even Hamlet, who was originally Irish apparently. They have similar populations (5.7 vs 4.8 million) and are part of bigger regions (Scandinavia and the British Isles) of which they like to think they’re top boys despite being outnumbered (by the Swedes and the English). Talking of which, they’re big exporters to the UK (of bacon and people) and, as we found out last November, they love their footy, even though they’re better at other sports (handball and Gaelic varieties).

Viking conquest THE COUNTRIES have a shared history that goes back over a millennium. This was brought to the fore over the summer of 2007 when the Sea Stallion, the Viking Ship Museum’s reconstruction of a longboat, arrived in Dublin after completing a six-week, 1,000mile voyage from Roskilde.

Based on a wreck discovered in Roskilde Fjord, the original vessel was made in ‘Dubhlinn’ in around 1042 when the Irish capital was a mere Viking trading fort. The 65-member crew spent most of their time on deck exposed to the elements and soaked to the skin.

The Vikings are believed to have first invaded Ireland in 795 on Rathlin Island off the northeast coast – as was often the case, the first victims were monks at a monastery. The pillaging continued sporadically over the next two centuries as the Vikings began to occupy,

initially close to the shore, and then inland, particularly as it became clear there were more monasteries to loot. Between 849 and 852, we have our first historical reference to a different kind of Viking: the Dane.

But the Irish enjoyed their fair share of victories, and eventually Brian Boru, a ruler from Munster, saw them off in 1002 – seemingly for good – but then another Viking victory in 1014 led to another period of Scandinavian rule.

Denmark’s culture minister, Brian Mikkelsen, took the arrival of the Sea Stallion as an opportunity to apologise! “In Denmark we are proud of this ship, but we are not proud of the damages to the people of Ireland that followed in the footsteps of the Vikings,” he told the crowds who had gathered at the dockside.

Trade wars FOLLOWING the Viking exodus, it wasn’t until the 20th century that the two countries started to come into close contact again – particularly as the British ruled Ireland until 1922.

Nevertheless, there was a trade rivalry between the two in the 19th century – particularly with regard to bacon, eggs, and butter.

And following its independence, Ireland realised it could learn from Denmark in its bid to stand on its own two feet.

“Denmark is not only a smaller country than Eire but her climate is less equable, her soils are, in general, lighter and poorer, she has no coal and no water power to compensate for its absence, nor has she any iron ore or other metallic ores to serve as a basis for industrial activities,” commented the Irish historian JP Beddy in 1943.

“Yet, in comparison with Eire, she has a bigger population, a greater agricultural output, a more extensive industrial system, a larger foreign trade, a lower national debt, a higher national income and a better standard of living.”

Both countries went on to join the EU in 1973, along with the UK. Inn to stay IN RECENT years, Ireland’s biggest export to Denmark has been pubs. When the Shamrock Inn opened its doors near Axeltorv in 1989, it became Scandinavia’s first Irish pub.

They used to be enemies, but now they’re good friends

Its landlady Eileen Bruun De Neergard told CPH POST in 1999 how Guinness did not even have a Danish agent back then, meaning she was forced to make frequent visits to procure supplies of the brew.

The next pub on the scene that is still going strong today was the Dubliner on Strøget.

Its Scottish landlord Gus Brown first visited Copenhagen in 1986, when he was given a job at Burger King by Charlie Scott (who today runs a bar under his name on Skindergade).

And then on a trip to Sweden to watch Euro 1992 he entered the Dubliner in Gothenberg where he met his future business partner, Ian McGlinchey. The pair started working together and heard about a special building in Copenhagen. Formerly it had been a Häagen-Dazs ice cream parlour. Back then, there was no nightlife in the centre of town, so it was by no means easy drawing in the punters when it opened in 1995.

The Globe on Nørregade is the city’s third oldest ongoing Irish pub. Like the Dubliner, it has only had one landlord, Brian McKenna, who has been craicing the whip since 1997. A passing Dane saw something in the 22-year-old manager of McCormacks in Dublin and enticed him

into setting up a pub in Budapest.

Two years later the pair found a multi-level premises with numerous nooks and crannies that was being used as an Indian restaurant. Using their ingenuity, the pair created a distinct pub complete with a 35-foot high tree and a main bar area constructed out of old church items. Nevertheless, the first half year was tough and it wasn’t until the 1998 World Cup that the word started to spread.

More Irish pubs have since followed: most notably Kennedy’s at the Vesterbro end of the Lakes (2000) and the Irish Rover on Strøget, which was set up in 2004 and run by former Dubliner bar manager Jonno Farrelly until his untimely death last March. Both of the pubs will probably echo Brown’s sentiment that international customers will never be enough. He estimates that English-speakers only account for 10 percent of his trade, with Danes making up around 65 percent.

Paddy’s invasion NOBODY can under-estimate the role the pubs have played in making St Patrick’s Day on March 17 such a huge event. It’s impossible to avoid the multitude of green in the city centre thanks to the success of the 3-Legged Race and the Parade.

The 3-Legged Charity Race,

in which tied competitors run from pub to pub, drinking a beer at each pitstop, was founded in 2001 by Garrett McKeon, Desmond Carswell and Siobhan Kelleher-Petersen, who continues to take charge to this day with help from big brother John, a two-time winner and current quizmaster at the Globe.

In 2003 it experimented with being the 3-legged Spud n Spoon Bar race, but otherwise the formula hasn’t changed much since the first year. The number of competitors certainly has though: from 18 pairs in 2001 to over 300 today. After the 2008 race was run in a blizzard, a time limit was introduced, and since 2007 it has raised around 400,000 kroner for charity.

The parade, meanwhile, started in 2005. Traditionally, three hours of afternoon entertainment at Rådhuspladsen, the city hall square, climaxes with the walking of a procession through the city centre’s streets, always with St Patrick himself (either Ian Burns or Tom McEwan) at the front. Everyone is welcome to participate, providing they are wearing some green!

Its co-organiser Marianne Green was among the founders, and last year she told CPH POST how it quickly became a truly international affair following its first year. “When it first started it was mostly people we knew through Irish cultural activities and friends and families of those that got involved,” she said.

“However, we launched it as an international event from the beginning and had ambitions for it to develop as such. This was very well received by the Danish press and it quickly grew and became a popular event.”

19 Goa crazy for South Indian cuisine’s delectable dosa FOOD AND DRINK

23 March - 25 April 2018

EMMA KINTISCH

THE SOUTH INDIAN

Copenhagen restaurants in Frederiksberg (Godthåbsvej 12), Vesterbro (Vesterbrogade 38) and at Fields on Amager (Arne Jacobsens Allé 12), as well as restaurants in Aarhus, Aalborg & Herning, and a takeaway in Vanløse (Sallingvej 61); open daily in Cph F & V until 23:00, from 12:00 at weekends; four set menus 139-297kr, kids menu 99kr, dosas 79-89kr; southindian.dk EMMA KINTISCH

I

NDIAN cuisine isn’t particularly well-known for its finger-food in Europe. Sure, we’re all familiar with samosas, bhajis and pakoras as precursors to having something really hot – a stay of execution, some might say – but few restaurants have embraced the sub-continent’s street food and made it the star of the show.

The South Indian has bravely done exactly that with the ‘dosa’ – a tasty, affordable filled pancake, served with dips and dumplings and best enjoyed in an informal setting. Conducive to socialising, diners tear away the edges, working their way around the protein filling like a culinary game of Jenga, strategically making sure they don’t run out of dippage on the way.

It’s been so popular that the owners have already opened seven restaurants across Denmark, so isn’t it time you found out what all the fuss is about?

A palace for the palate WITHIN the walls of a pale green building, nestled among Copenhagen’s bustling city streets, resides a welcome refuge from the cold: the South Indian Frederiksberg, which as well as the dosa offers other traditional Chettinad staples.

Although unique specialisations are offered at each venue, they all prepare essential staples for those seeking a classic South Indian experience. A wide selection of dishes, long-established recipes and an elegant atmosphere provide restaurant-goers with a dining experience that treats the palate.

Delectable dosa ALTHOUGH the menu boasts a variety of starting options, the

Assessing the dosa to dippage ratio is essential before beginning, particularly if sharing!

dosa reigns supreme as the restaurant’s specialty. Select from a wide range of fillings – from basic choices like butter or egg to more adventurous offerings such as chicken or chocolate – that are served between two crisp, triangle-shaped pancakes made out of a lentil and rice dough.

Each fresh, sliced, crisp, gluten-free dosa is topped with a vegetable garnish and accompanied by three distinct dips.

Each sauce supplements the dish in a different way: the coconut chutney adds a sweet tang to each bite, while the vegetable and tomato dips complement and cool the flavour.

For those with bottomless stomachs, choose the all-youcan-eat option and feast on dosa combinations of all kinds.

Aromatic alternatives FOR AN alternative beginning course, it is worth exploring ‘the 65’s’, a compilation of newer dishes with a special combination of spices that are just as delicious as their more traditional counterparts.

The shrimp dish is a classic south Indian take on seafood, while the fresh cauliflower or paneer options are perfect for a hungry vegetarian. The restau-

rant can even personalise the spice level to individual tastes, but do not be afraid to embrace the heat!

Lavish courses THE EXTENSIVE number of items might require multiple trips to this source of fine south Indian dining. The Chettinad

p15b

chicken masala presents a spicier option for those seeking a bolder but well-established choice and the spinach chicken offers a milder, but equally delicious meal.

Menu listings kathirikkai kara kulambu, a seasoned eggplant curry, and paneer masala, a seasoned cheese dish, also provide tasty meat-free options.

And the restaurant’s naan bread cannot be beaten – the buttery, golden brown bread breaks away easily between the fingers and melts in the mouth.

And for dessert, try the kulfi: light Indian ice cream in mango, pistachio and original flavours, which provides the perfect ending to a delicious night.

20 INOUT: ONSTAGE THE COPENHAGEN POST | CPHPOST.DK

April 20-May 12, Teatret ved Sorte Hest, Vesterbrogade 150, Frederiksberg; 180kr, concessions available, teaterbilletter.dk; 90 mins, over-17s only ORIGINALLY written in Swedish in 2015 by Sara Stridsberg, Why Not Theatre’s production of The Art of Falling will transport its audience to the East Coast of the United States, telling the story of a unique mother and daughter duo, Big and Little Edie.

The script of this absurd tragicomedy is based on the real-life story of Jackie Kennedy’s reclusive cousin and aunt, a story originally introduced in the cult 1975 documentary Grey Gardens, which later inspired an acclaimed TV movie starring Jessica Lange. And this production is the first version of it in English.

PRIDE AND PREJUDICE April 18-28, Mon-Sat 19:00, Sat & Sun 14:00; Krudttønden, Serridslevvej 2, Cph Ø; 140kr, concessions available, ctcircle.dk The Copenhagen Theatre Circle, which is celebrating its 50th year, welcomes back one of its favourite sons, Jens Blegaa (Earnest), to helm this Jane Austen classic.

Copenhagen Drummers April 14, 15:00 & 20:00; Bremen Teater; 295kr; lights-on.dk Known for their spectacular shows, which combine water, pyrotechnics and other tricks of light, the band offer actual proof that you can win a TV reality show and forge yourselves a career. They haven’t looked back since winning Danmark har talent in 2010.

ELEKTRA ongoing, ends Sun, performances at 19:00; HIT, Huset 4th floor, Rådhusstræde 13, Cph K; 120kr; huset-kbh.dk HOW DO you follow a farce about a French cad three-timing air stewardesses? With a Greek tragedy, of course!

Following the success of Boeing-

MUSIC

The Garden April 24; Huset-KBH; 140kr The eccentric neo-punk twins from Orange County will come to Copenhagen to play their stylish West Coast tunes.

This will be the third time the group have returned to the city since 2017. Like the name suggests, their new genre of ‘vada vada’ music will grow on you.

(DW)

A NUMBER

by CARYL CHURCHILL

Boeing, CBS Theatre has moved on to Elektra, a dark thriller set after the Trojan War in which a princess avenges the death of her father, King Agamemnon.

Exactly! It’s where we get Elektra complex from: the pyschology involved when a woman falls for a man like Dad. This play demonstrates how twisted a child’s mind can become when they see their loved ones betray each other. (MA)

OPERA

The Exterminating Angel March 23-May 6; Operaen, Ekvipagemestervej 10, Cph K; 150925kr, kglteater.dk Inspired by a 1962 Spanish surrealist film, this English-language opera from award-winning composer Thomas Adès tells the unfolding story of how a mysterious curse descends upon a party of diners and prevents the guests from leaving. (DW)

FACEBOOK PAGE

MUSIC

THEATRE

KGLTEATER.DK

Roma Music Festival April 8, 11:00; DR Koncerthuset, Ørestads Blvd 13, Cph S; 65kr, under-15s free adm They’re everywhere, but how much do we know about their music? As part of a series of events celebrating different cultures from around the world, guests will be invited to experience the dance, music and art of the Romani people. (DW)

A 15-actor cast will cram themselves onto the stage for dancing, dalliance, decorum and occasional deception in this comedy of manners.

And it is no exaggeration to claim that Blegaa has pulled off a casting coup by recruiting Improv Comedy Copenhagen regulars Adrian Mackinder, Marius Lathey and Charlie Waller to play three of the key roles. (BH) ARTIST FQACEBOOK PAGE

ARTIST FQACEBOOK PAGE

US EMBASSY SLOVENIA FACEBOOK

MUSIC

Big and Little Edie are former aristocrats now living in squalour in a big but completely rundown house in East Hampton, New York. The play’s smart commentary on the boundaries of high society makes the play a must-see.

“The more we delve into the play, the more we realise that Stridsberg has been inspired by the documentary… but there are some quite vital differences and we are having fun discovering those differences and really exploring the subtext,” explains Why Not Theatre cofounder Sue Hansen-Styles, who plays the role of Big Edie in the play.

Following in the tradition of the likes of Vita & Virginia and WIT, this play further reinforces Why Not Theatre’s mission to deliver experiences that cut across international and cultural barriers to connect with diverse audiences.

RICKARD S SÖDERSTRÖM

THE ART OF FALLING

23 March - 25 April 2018

COMEDY

Copenhagen Improv Festival March 27-31, 20:00; ICC Theatre, Frederiksholms Kanal 2, Cph K; 170-210kr; improvcomedy.eu Now in its fifth year, the annual festival will feature 150 international performers as 20 international teams gather for a celebration of unscripted laughter and fun. Who will emerge triumphant in the end? Apart from the audience. (DW) Krudttønden Serridslevvej 2 2100 København Ø teaterbilletter.dk

Ian Burns

70 20 20 96

Rasmus Emil Mortensen

that-theatre.com

director Helen Parry

21 Feb – 24 Mar ‘18 Photo: Simon Dixgaard

INOUT: EVENTS

23 March - 25 April 2018

ongoing; various venues in CPH DOUGLAS WHITBREAD

THIS COMING month’s art schedule provides a wide range of options for gallery visitors.

In the exhibition #Whatif? (Kunsthal Charlottenborg, from March 17) internationally-renowned artists such as Renzo Martens, Lara Baladi and Forensic Architecture ask hefty questions such as “What if art could eradicate poverty?” and “What if we could live without fossil fuels?”

Hieroglyphs – Symbolist Drawings 1890-1910 (Statens Museum for Kunst, from April 19) demonstrates the importance of draughtsmanship to the Danish artistic scene at the turn of the 20th century. The exhibition elaborates upon an age of creativity in which symbolism became prominent within the country.

48 TIMER April 27-29; Cph N; 48timer.com COPENHAGEN’S unique Nørrebro neighbourhood will celebrate its annual culture festival in rare form this spring.

The notoriously vibrant area will transform into one of the city’s largest celebrations of the year with music, food and entertainment to boot.

The program for the weekend-long party isn’t released yet, but is sure to boast a line-up of events that celebrate the quirky personality of the neighbourhood. Families and party-goers alike will find an activity to suit any agenda.

Over a period of 48 hours, experience the best of Copenhagen by visiting the festival as either a guest or a volunteer. (SB)

J-POPCON April 27-29, DGI Byen, Cph V; Fri & Sun 150kr, Sat 250kr, festival pass 400kr, j-popcon.dk OVER 3,000 people will attend the annual festival that celebrates the best of Japanese anime, manga, cosplay and games. The program this year promises to be better than ever, with events including an Anime Music Video com-

SPECTACLE

First day of the racing season April 6, 18:00; Klampenborg Galopbane, Klampenborgvej 52; 60kr; galopbane.dk Enjoy the fun and competitive spirit of Klampenborg Racetrack as it begins its 2018 season. Enjoy a flutter or two, listen to music and enjoy some great food and racing at the track. (MA)

petition, a fashion show and a Japanese pop-culture item auction.

This experience is the perfect chance to meet fellow Japanese culture-obsessed people. You can attend all three days of the weekend convention, or purchase single day tickets.

Tickets can be found online, as can opportunities to volunteer or participate in some of the festival’s competitions and shows. (SB)

ART QUIZ

Big Quiz Nights March 22, April 5 & 19, 19:30; The Globe, Nørregade 43, Cph K; 30kr, five per team April 9 & May 7, 19:30; Kennedy’s, Gammel Kongevej 23, Cph V; 25kr, four per team The winners get 1,000 kroner at the Globe, and 800 at Kennedy’s.

And who knows, the odd rollover has been known to go too.

DESIGNERFORUM FACEBOOK PAGE,

Friday Night Skate returns April 27, 20:00 (also May 11 & 25); Solbjerg Plads, Frederiksberg; fns-cph.dk Soak up the atmosphere of the capital on this rollerskating odyssey through the streets of Copenhagen. Skate around in the company of blaring music and 500 participants of all levels.

Don’t forget your helmet! (MA)

TOPART THEATRE

GLOBE PUB

ACTIVITY

KLAMPENBORG GALOPBANE FACEBOOK PAGE

Copenhagen Sakura Festival April 28 & 29 from 11:15; Langeline Park, Cph K; free adm; sakurafestival.dk Experience performances, cosplay, music, lectures and a cup of Japanese tea while gathering under 200 bloomed cherry blossom trees to celebrate Japanese culture.

Spend the day immersed in culture and serenity. (MA)

EVENT FACEBOOK PAGE

HASSE FERROLD

THEATRE HISTORY FESTIVAL

The annual presentation from the graduates of the Royal Danish Academy of Fine Arts (Kunsthal Charlottenborg, from April 14) will display the work of 26 budding talents who’ve recently completed six years of academic education. Artists will use a variety of mediums including video, film and sculpture.

Lea Gulditte Hestelund is interested in how human bodies are ascribed meaning in contemporary western societies. In her solo exhibition, Consumed Future Spewed Up As Present (Overgaden, from April 7), she explores this topic through mysterious scenarios taken from science-fiction plotlines.

Danish digital artist Christoffer Birkkjær and Portuguese visual artists Duarte Filipe regularly collaborate to explore the intersection between classical drawing and computer visualisation. In their new installation, Even (Overgaden, from April 7), the artists examine landscape features such as mountains, cliffs, rivers and valleys.

OVERGADEN_EVEN

SPRING ART QUARTET

21

MARKET

Designer Forum April 6-8; Forum, Frederiksberg; 50-120kr; designerforum.dk At Denmark’s largest outlet event, save up to 80 percent on leading brands for both men and women, which fortunately for us would cost more to send back to the supplier than give away at these prices. Go VIP on Friday and get first dibs.

ASTA NIELSEN SILENT FILM FEATURING MICHALA PETRI On April 6th experience percussion player Mathias Friis-Hansen of The Royal Danish Orchestra alongside world-renowned recorder player Michala Petri in a unique and intimate silent film concert.

We present some 50 films with English dialogue or subtitles every month.

See what’s on at cinemateket.dk or visit us in Gothersgade 55

22 INOUT: MUSEUMS CORNER THE COPENHAGEN POST | CPHPOST.DK

23 March - 25 April 2018

After winter, spring should be a walk in the park KATHRINE MARIA AMANN, EDITOR AT COPENHAGEN MUSEUMS AND ATTRACTIONS

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LOWERS, birds and budding trees – finally, spring has arrived!

This is the season of utter rejuvenation, in which nature is

allowed to come back to life with full vigour and sheer beauty.

What better way to celebrate this magical time of year than going for a stroll in one of the

enchanting Copenhagen gardens – while even getting a bit of culture as you go?

Kongens Have, Øster Voldgade 4A, Cph K

T

HE KING’S Garden (Kongens Have) in central Copenhagen is the oldest park in the city and has existed

for more than 400 years. Once a private garden for the Royal Family alone, it is today one of the most popular hangout spots for the people of Copenhagen – you might even have to fight for space on the lawn on a

Østre Anlæg, near Østerport Station, Cph Ø

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HE ROMANTIC Østre Anlæg was created to mimic wild nature with its curvy pathways and mountainous terrain. The park contains a

variety of wild flora and fauna – especially in the lake. It also holds one of the best playgrounds in town. However, if the Danish spring weather is as unpredictable as ever, you can still enjoy the dazzling light and colours of nature through the

collection counts masterpieces by artists such as Monet, Gauguin and Degas. Their short, broken brushstrokes, which barely convey form and pure unblended colors, remind us of the bright briefness of summer.

spiration from London’s famous Crystal Palace. The Botanical Garden is part of the Natural History Museum of Denmark, which is situated a short walk away. Here you can experience

botanical, geological and zoological objects collected over 400 years from expeditions to every corner of the world.

Roman mythology.

At night time, Ørstedparken is infamous for being a meeting point for gay people seeking a bit of romance. Right behind the park you’ll find the charming Nansensgade with quirky

cafes, wine bars and antique book shops galore. Also in the neighbourhood in Nørregade is the cathedral Vor Frue Kirke, where Crown Prince Frederik and Mary were married in 2004. The cathedral is open to the public.

STOP AND SMELL THE ROSES Botanisk Have, Øster Farimagsgade 2C, Cph K

T

HE BOTANICAL Garden is located in the centre of Copenhagen and holds

Denmark’s largest collection of living plants. The park is especially noted for its historical glasshouses dating from 1874, of which the Palm House is the most spectacular – drawing in-

PLAYGROUNDS AND MONUMENTS Ørstedparken, Nørre Voldgade 1, Cph K

A

LONG THE old fortifications that protected the city up until the 1850s, the public park Ørstedparken, which

is named after the Danish physicist Hans Christian Ørsted, was laid out in 1876. This stunning old park contains two popular playgrounds, a lake, barbecue areas and a unique selection of statues derived from Greek and

DISCOSOUR

Danish Golden Age and the Skagen painters’ art inside the Hirschsprung Collection situated in connection to the park.

In the other corner of the garden you’ll find the National Gallery of Denmark (Statens Museum for Kunst). Here the permanent

THE ART OF NATURE

KENNETH SØRENSEN

tion, regarded as one of the ten best Islamic art collections in the Western World. Additionally, the David Collection exhibits a selection of Danish early modern art and furniture.

PRAECEPTOR

sunny summer’s day. The park also serves as a setting for the traditional puppet theatre every day (except Mondays) during the summer from June 3 to August 20. Overlooking the garden is the captivating David Collec-

KRISTOFFER TROLLE - FLICKR

PROMENADE LIKE A KING

ON SCREENS

23 March - 25 April 2018

23

More reminders that nobody makes you spew like Spielberg?

BEN HAMILTON

D

ISLIKING director Steven Spielberg, who has two films coming out over the next month, is a form of masochism in which the sick bucket’s always within range when we get to the last 10 minutes of his films.

Steven chunderberg THEY’RE either unrealistic like Schindler’s List, when World War II oh so conveniently ends just when it’s looking bleak.

As if Hitler would have ever invaded Russia like that. Or downright cruel like Hook, the tale of an honest working man given a second chance at parenthood, whose dreams are cruelly snatched away by the epitome of Wall Street greed.

But if that fails, then Spielberg does his best to drown the ending in sentimentality. Minority Report, Munich and War of the Worlds would have all benefited from downbeat endings, and it’s interesting to note that the ‘director who wouldn’t grow up’ didn’t write the screenplays for any of them.

With the exception of AI, the continuation of a Stanley Kubrick project, Spielberg stopped scribbling scripts early in his career with Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Poltergeist and The Goonies – and none of them have bad endings. So, it would appear that Spielberg doesn’t ruin his own scripts, only other writers’.

Six stars from The Post THE FEEL-GOOD ending of Spielberg’s Oscar-nominated The Post (83 on Metacritic; released on April 5) has also come under fire. Set in the early 1970s, it recounts the battle the Washington Post (Meryl Streep, Tom Hanks and half the cast of Breaking Bad) had with the US government over its plans to publish damning information about the Vietnam War. Despite a good score on Metacritic, some reviewers contend that the film is too calculated in its bid to reflect today’s sociopolitical climate.

Out of interest, the Washington Post gave it the highest possible rating, matching the Boston Globe’s assessment of Spotlight.

Player Number One (Not Released Worldwide; March 29) sees Spielberg return to his

favourite genre: nerdboy fantasy.

In a dystopian future, most citizens prefer to spend their time in the OASIS, a virtual space where anything is possible. When its creator dies, he sets a challenge that will reward the winner with ownership, and an evil corporation wants to win at all cost.

The potential is huge: it could end up being as big as The Matrix … as long as it doesn’t try to play all its cards at once.

The Matrix succeeded because it drip-fed the premise slowly; subsequent sequels failed because they overloaded the viewer.

Even if the pedigree of creator Ernest Cline doesn’t fill us with optimism, the producers have done a sterling job at acquiring the rights to use a whole host of licensed film icons, from DC Comics and Lords of the Rings characters, to Freddy Krueger and Chucky from Child’s Play, to the DeLorean from Back to the Future.

Four to feast on THE MAKERS of You were never really here (87; March 22) have done that with Joaquim Phoenix (a blink twice performance by Alessandro Nivola) in this dark tale of child prostitution for which a strictly adult constitution is obligatory.

The same is true of A Quiet Place (77; April 5) in which a family live in absolute silence to avoid ghoulies that go bump in the night every time you accidentally bump into something.

Real-life wife and husband Emily Blunt and John Krasinski co-star.

The constitution of Harry Dean Stanton held out long enough for him to complete his final film, Lucky (79; April 5), a fitting finale that includes a cameo from regular collaborator David Lynch.

And the constitution of the United States is at stake in Battle of the Sexes (73; April 12), a recreation of the famous tennis game between Bobby Riggs (Steve Carrell) and Billie Jean King (Emma Stone) by the same directorial team that brought us Little Miss Sunshine.

Wide berth busters PACIFIC Rim 2: Uprising (NRW; March 22) isn’t from the same director as the original (recent Oscar winner Guillermo del Toro). And hardly any of the cast have been retained either.

All the editor’s men gather around the machine that goes ping

The same is true of this Tomb Raider (46; March 15)reboot – its second as a 2007 origins story spectacularly bombed, although it didn’t have a great height to fall from. At least Angelina Jolie’s replacement Alicia Vikander doesn’t have loads of annoying tattoos to airbrush.

Rampage (NRY; April 12) would kill for that kind of CGI quibble. We’re talking big apes, wolves and crocs – and the only man who can save New York is the Rock. King Kong has a new rival.

A Wrinkle in Time (52; April 5) is as thick with CGI as its leads Oprah Winfrey and Reese Witherspoon are with make-up.

This tale of female empowerment would have had a shout at the Oscars given the current climate – if it had only been half-decent.

If only heist thriller Den of Thieves (49; April 5) starring the rarely likeable Gerard Butler and horror The Strangers: Prey at Night (50; March 22) were half-decent. They’re not.

Animation and amour ELSEWHERE, we have a trio of cartoons, although it’s doubtful Peter Rabbit (52; March 22) will be screened with English subtitles. The general rule is that the more adult ones are, such as Nick Park’s promising

prehistoric romp Early Man (68, March 22) and the Oscarnominated Loving Vincent (62; March 15), a treat for fans of van Gogh as the whole film has been animated to look like his paintings.

Finishing with three romances, Every Day (53; March 22) is another risible take on Groundhog Day in which the object of a girl’s affection changes bodies every day. In Midnight Sun (NRY; April 12), a girl who is allergic to daylight finds love (with Big Arnie’s son, Patrick Schwarzenegger) – so not that far off the plot of Twilight. And The Leisure Seeker (46; March 15) teams up Donald Sutherland and Helen Mirren in this year’s most pointless film.

Not to be outdone, Netflix is offering British supernatural thriller Requiem (March 23), which screened in the UK to mixed reviews in February, and The Defiant Ones (76; March 23), a highly recommended miniseries that centres on Dr Dre’s relationship with his producer.

Following in April are Paterno (HBO Nordic; April 7) in which a college football coach (Al Pacino) deals with the revelation that an associate sexually abused kids; Killing Eve (April 8), a hitwoman drama starring Sandra Oh (Sideways, Grey’s Anatomy) that promises a little more than the usual teenage fantasy kicks; and Kiri (April 4) in which a child is abducted by her biological family.

Trust in television SUTHERLAND is also the star of new TV series Trust (HBO Nordic; March 26), which retreads the kidnapping of John Paul Getty’s grandson, as told in For all the Money in the World.

Also on HBO Nordic, Billions returns for a third season and Barry, a drama about a hitman who takes up acting (a little like Christopher Moltisanti in The Sopranos), makes its bow (both on March 26). Krypton, an embryonic Superman origins series, made its debut on March 22.

Annihilates the opposition LAST BUT not least we have this issue’s best straight to small screen film, the hauntingly good Annihilation (79; Netflix, March 12), Alex Garland’s follow-up to Ex Machina, which you will have probably already seen by the time you read this.

Its absence from the cinemas is great news for residents of The Beach and anyone who likes to keep a sick bucket in easy range.

But with a name like ‘Annihilation’, Spielberg spewage is unlikely.

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