CPH Post - 2022 World Cup supplement

A MESSI CHRISTMAS!

LOIC PADOVANI

HAMILTON

To paraphrase the nal line in Stand by Me: “I never had any World Cups later on like the one I had when I was 12.” Well, maybe the one when I was 16. But regardless of your age, it’s hard to beat the magic of the tournament.

So it is with heavy heart to note that the World Cup in Qatar promises to be the most surreal of experiences – not like Salvador Dali or David Lynch, but more in a 2017 everybody cool is dying kind of way.

For many, their two favourite months of any even-numbered year have been packed into one. And it promises to be overkill: like the 3,900 tonnes of explosives that attened Dresden or the line-up at the 1996 Roskilde Festival (Bowie again).

Is there life in bars?

Staging it in November and December is a once-in-a-lifetime event for us all. After all, FIFA will never be this corrupt again, and the oil isn’t going to last forever.

On Fridays in December, watching World Cup knockout games in pubs and bars will compete with o ce julefrokoster and trips to Tivoli, while in shops Panini albums will battle it out with advent calendars and ceramic nisser.

Given the choice, most would say ‘one at a time’: let’s enjoy the World Cup and the buildup to Christmas, but not together. How much pampering can our livers indulge?

The June genie

For the many who love football, some of their happiest ever moments are rooted in watching the tournament. But how much of that owes itself to the tournament taking place in the best month of the year?

June, in the northern hemisphere, routinely churns out the weather dreams are made of. More often than not, it’s the rst month of the year to deliver genuinely warm days – a novelty factor that makes you treasure the time all the more.

In recent years, July and August have become positively tropical, bringing as much torrential rain as balmy weather. But June is always crisp: its blue skies a reminder of Planet Earth at its best.

Under pressure

The World Cup in Qatar presents fans with many dilemmas: every single xture is a potential clash with work responsibilities, precious family time, and Christmas-themed occasions that we can’t grab the headlines of later.

What time should we start drinking when we watch games, and what is a reasonable time to stop work? Should we sacri ce watching our children’s Nativity play to enjoy games with friends? Will we end up spending less on presents for loved ones? And will we be

too zonked out by the time Christmas arrives to enjoy it properly?

Jesus got Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh. The World Cup in Qatar could end up giving us a pink slip, a divorce and cirrhosis.

Let’s dance! So read on and enjoy! This special edition is packed full of information about how to best enjoy the 2022 World Cup: from the best big screen venues to watch games to your best bet to nd kindred spirits (page 10).

We’ve also caught up on the mixed-nationality couples anxiously awaiting Denmark’s group games (3-5) and got the lowdown on the hosts (pages 8-9). If things don’t go Qatar’s way, they could easily end up as the worst performing home country in history. But who knows! Maybe FIFA will pull out the magic wand – like they did for South Korea in 2002.

In the immortal words of David Bowie: Let’s dance!

BEN

Three families representing Denmark and their Group D opponents talk about how their households tend to have di erent allegiances when national pride is at stake

LOÏC PADOVANI

The 2022 World Cup is going to be one of a kind on so many levels. In Qatar, the best national football teams will have the opportunity to prove they have the greatest talents in the world.

Denmark is one of 32 teams hoping to reach the nal on December 18. But while they’re an outsider to go all the way, they are strongly fancied to emerge from a group that also contains Tunisia, France and Australia in the group stage.

Pledge of allegiance

There is always an added element of excitement for the mixed nationality families. More speci cally, it is those who have family ties with at least two of the contenders.

The rivalry can be jovial, mischievous or volatile – sometimes all at the same time. With national pride at stake, even children are not o limits when it comes to securing allegiances.

Mothers against sons, fathers at war with their daughters, and Farmor jeering Morfar, our living rooms become warzones.

Let the banter ow!

We caught up with three families in Denmark who face this very predicament: having links to Denmark and either Tunisia, France or Australia.

From Australian meat pies to French foie gras and Tunisian couscous, nothing was sacred among the banter ahead of the 2022 World Cup.

AUSTRALIA

DIVIDED LOYALTIES AT THE 2022 WORLD CUP

Here we go again! Drawn together in the same group in 2018, Australia and Denmark will once again face each other in a World Cup group game: but crucially, this time around, in the nal game.

A matter of birthrights

Danish-born Kenneth Pedersen has shared his life with Katie, a native of Australia, since 2000. But despite spending a fair chunk of his childhood in Australia, he is 100 percent behind the Danes.

Katie is likewise all in with Australia, despite living in Denmark for 14 years. Her heroes are Tim Cahill and Harry Kewell, two of the stars when the Socceroos and their golden generation reached the nal 16 in 2006.

Their three kids are more or less 50/50, so the atmosphere during the game will surely be very intense.

Unlikely to suit both

In 2018, the game nished in a 1-1 draw, leaving both sides with a hope of qualifying for the next round from the nal game.

This time around, the game will be more decisive, so there’s no room for sentiment. May the best team win!

Do you intend to watch the game together?

Katie: De nitely. We will be happy either way if Australia wins or loses. But you never know, it’s football, anything can happen.

Who will be the most vocal during the game?

Kenneth: It will be interesting because in the last World Cup, Australia was also in the same group as Denmark. We saw the

game together and I was really surprised by Katie’s volume, so I kind of stepped back a bit. She was cheering a lot, shouting and getting very excited about it all.

Who do you think is the favourite between the two teams?

Kenneth: I think we have one of the best squads we’ve had in a long time. We have a really good chance of getting very far and that puts a lot of pressure on the team. It will be interesting to see how it will go, whereas Australia has almost no expectations. Nobody thought they would qualify. They will do the best they can, and if they get anything that will be really great for them.

There’s a bit of a split in the family in terms of allegiance. How does it play out at home?

Katie: I think the kids will support Denmark because they grew up here. But they also have Aussie ags.

Kenneth: We went to Australia several times; they really like the country so it will be 50/50 I think.

What’s more likely to happen on game day? A cold Tuborg or Australian meat pies?

Katie: Some Aussie stu , like pies or lamington. It’s like what Americans do for the Superbowl, for example.

Who will be the most upset by a loss?

Kenneth: That would absolutely be me. If you look at the group, the game against Australia we absolutely have to win. We would be super crushed if we lost that game.

What do you think the nal score will be?

Katie: I’m gonna say 3-1 to Australia.

Kenneth: At least 3-0 for Denmark if not 4-0.

AUSTRALIA

Qualified: Australia won their play-o game against Peru in a thrilling penalty shootout.

Goal average in qualifying: 2.25

Concession average in qualifying: 0.6

Coach: Graham Arnold

Captain: Mathew Ryan

Star man: Mathew Ryan – the FC Copenhagen goalkeeper was one of the key players of his team during the qualication stage.

Unsung hero: Andrew Redmayne – the goalkeeper replaced Ryan for the shootout against Peru in the deciding play-o game and saved two penalties to send the Aussies to the World Cup.

Surprise package: Joel King – the OB Odense defender has only four caps with the Socceroos.

FIFA World Ranking: 38

Tournament odds: 700/1

Group odds: 9/2

Previous World Cups: 5

Best World Cup performance: 2006 – Round of 16

Nickname: Socceroos

Verdict: It would be a huge surprise if Australia manages to reach the Round of 16. With a lot of unknown players, the Socceroos will likely struggle against better opposition and could end up nishing last. But as Katie said “anything can happen”.

TUNISIA

Mohamed Slimane, a Danish-Tunisian IT specialist from Copenhagen, used to train with Wimbledon nalist Ons Jabeur, and he is hoping some of her magic rubs o on the Carthage Eagles at the 2022 World Cup.

But not at the expense of Denmark, his homeland and the county of his mother Kirsten – a draw would be the most acceptable result.

Parental rivalry match

His parents, though, will be rooting for their respective countries! Kirsten met Samir in Tunisia in the 1980s before they made Denmark their home, where they have been happily married for 38 years.

Mohamed, a keen footballer himself – who supports L’Étoile in Tunisia, FC Copenhagen in Denmark and Manchester United in general – won’t be joining them in southern Denmark to watch the game, but he has a pretty good idea about what will happen!

Your mother is Danish, your father Tunisian. Is this the rst time that your dual nationality loyalties have been tested in a football game before?

Yes! I believe it is the rst time we’re meeting in an o cial football game such as the World Cup.

Tunisia beat Denmark at the 2005 World Handball Championship. Is that a day you remember?

Funnily enough, I attended that game with my mother and a group of Danish tourists as we were living in Tunisia and working together for a Danish travel agency at the time. Tensions were

high and it was an unbelievable game with a crazy atmosphere. Tunisian fans can be extremely passionate and invested and it was a deserved win back then from a strong Tunisian team that reached the nal four.

Do you intend to watch the game with your family? This time I will be watching it at work unfortunately.

Would you say that one of your parents will be louder than the other in their support? Probably my mother.

Who will be most upset by a loss? I’m sure that whoever loses will support the team that wins and hopes they qualify for the next round.

Which cuisine do you think they will eat on game day? Tunisian, or at least if we watched the game together. Tunisian cuisine is after all a little better than the Danish cuisine haha.

Who is your favourite player in the Tunisian team? Probably a bit biased but that would be Anis Ben Slimane, given the amazing last name he has. Otherwise it would be Hannibal Mejbri: incredible work rate and he gives it his all in every single game.

Do you think either team will qualify for the next round? Football is a funny game and anything can happen. I’m rooting for Denmark and Tunisia to both qualify for the next round!

What do you think the result against Denmark will be?

Tough one – but realistically I think Denmark will clinch the victory. May the best team win and let’s hope for an awesome game!

TUNISIA

Qualified : Tunisia beat Mali in the playoff in the African zone qualifications

Goal average in qualifying : 1.5

Concession average in qualifying : 0.25

Coach : Jalel Kadri

Captain : Youssef Msakni

Star man : Wahbi Khazri – with three goals during the qualifications, the 31-year-old striker has ample experience to help his team.

Unsung hero: Ellyes Shkiri – the FC Köln defensive midfielder is one of the key elements for Jalel Kadri in his squad. He contributed a lot during Tunisia’s qualification for the 2022 World Cup.

Surprise package: Montassar Talbi – the defender has been a strong element for his team during the qualifiers. He has played well for French club FC Lorient this season.

FIFA World Ranking: 30

Tournament odds: 900/1

Group odds: 17/4

Previous World Cups: 5

Best World Cup performance: 1978, 1998, 2002, 2006, 2018 – First round

Nickname: Eagles of Carthage

Verdict: Tunisia could be a dark horse in this group, but will need to upset Denmark or France to qualify for the next round. A great defence means that they don’t concede many goals, but the challenge will be scoring goals.

FRANCE

Mathieu Carlier has lived in Copenhagen since 2004. He and his Danish wife Lotte have two daughters: Chloé and Camille.

Mathieu grew up in the era of Michel Platini, Dominique Rocheteau and Alain Giresse, the mainstays of a squad that made the semi- nals of the World Cup in 1982 and 1986 and won Euro 1984.

Since then, he has always watched French games with a lot of passion and optimism.

Used to one another Denmark and France are used to facing each other in the World Cup group stage, having already met one another in 1998, 2002 and 2018. On two of those occasions, both teams progressed.

But given their growing injury list, the defending champions have a lot to do to defend their title, whereas Denmark are always a threat.

The pair met one another recently in the Nations League, with Denmark winning both games, and few French people will forget how the Danes delivered the nal coup de grâce to the defence of their 1998 crown.

Do you intend to watch the game with your family?

Yeah, we will be at home celebrating it –probably with some friends and a good appetiser.

Would you say that one of you will be louder than the other in your support?

That will be me! At the start of the game, my wife is really excited, but she often leaves the room when things don’t go as she wants.

FRANCE

Qualified: France nished top of Group D, going undefeated in eight games.

Goal average in qualifying: 2.25

Concession average in qualifying: 0.37

Coach: Didier Deschamps

Captain: Hugo Lloris

Star man: Kylian Mbappé – the Paris Saint Germain striker is one of the greatest football talents on the world stage. He will surely be one of his team’s pillars in Qatar.

Unsung hero: Adrien Rabiot – with N’Golo Kanté and Paul Pogba out, the Juventus mid elder has been critical to Didier Deschamps’s side seeing success during quali cations.

Surprise package: Randal Kolo Muani – Leipzig forward Christopher Nkunku’s last minute injury has forced Deschamps to turn to the Eintracht Frankfurt striker, who only has two caps for his country.

FIFA World Ranking: 4

Tournament odds: 15/2

Group odds: 1/10

Previous World Cups: 15

Best World Cup performance: 1998/2018 – Winners (defending champion)

Nickname: e Blues / Les Bleus

Verdict: Packed with talent, France are the favourites of Group D. But they will have to be wary of the champions’ curse, because after winning the World Cup in 1998 they were eliminated in the group stage in 2002 ... thanks largely to a 0-2 loss to Denmark.

How do you feel when Denmark and France face each other?

It’s always a nervous and tense moment for me. Denmark and France met in September and lost 2-0. Some Danes taunted me afterwards, and I was disappointed, even though it’s always in a good spirit.

There are a lot of injured players, are you worried about your team for the event?

Well, I think it will be really hard, I’m a bit pessimistic. We denitely have a lack of team-building. Fortunately, we have a lot of great players, but we have to remember the curse of the defending champions and be humble.

There’s a bit of a split in the family in terms of allegiance. How does it play out at home?

My wife is supporting Denmark, so that will be intense on game day. The kids grew up in Denmark, so I think they will be for the Danes, but they generally go for the team who wins. I feel sometimes a bit alone, being the only man in the family.

Who will be the most upset by a loss?

Clearly me. The Danes are not favourites, so they don’t have a lot of pressure on them in this game, whereas we expect a lot from the French team.

What do you think the nal score will be?

That won’t be easy, I hope that France will win 1-0 thanks to a Mbappé goal.

Publisher: CPH POST • Editor: Hans Hermansen • Info: hans@cphpost.dk • Tel: +45 2420 2411

DENMARK

Qualified: Denmark nished top of Group F, only losing to Scotland in the nal game of quali cation.

Goal average in qualifying: 3.00

Concession average in qualifying: 0.33

Coach: Kasper Hjulmand

Captain: Simon Kjær

Star man: Christian Eriksen – the Manchester United midelder has done a lot for the national team since his rst selection. A fantastic player who has overcome immense adversity.

Unsung hero: Joakim Mæhle – the Atalanta defender scored six goals during quali cation and has had a major impact on Kasper Hjulmand’s system.

Surprise package: Alexander Bah – the 24-year-old Ben ca right back only has four Denmark caps to his name, but deserves his spot thanks to a great season with the Portuguese team.

FIFA World Ranking: 10

Tournament odds: 33/1

Group odds: 4/11

Previous World Cups: 5

Best World Cup performance: 1998 - Quarter- nalist

Nickname: e Red & White

Verdict: In great shape, Denmark are coming to Qatar brimming with con dence. e Danes are certainly among the outsiders to win it all. ey will likely nish second in the group, but could win it, having beaten favourites France twice in the Nations League recently.

BEN HAMILTON

There’s one thing we can all be certain of: this World Cup will be like no other.

And most of that boils down to the choice of Qatar, the rst debutant hosts of the World Cup since Italy in 1934.

As far as bizarre selections go, it’s up there with the selection of ‘Crash’ as Best Film at the Oscars in 2006, unknown Australian model George Lazenby being unveiled as the new James Bond and, well, Colombia being con rmed as the hosts of the 1986 edition.

Even FIFA president Sepp Blatter, who personally oversaw its selection many years ago, regrets the choice!

How weird exactly?

Its selection was all the more stranger when you consider that originally they wanted to hold it in the summer. Somehow, a majority on the FIFA ExCom ruled in favour of playing 64 games in a microwave.

Its switchover to a slot during the Northern Hemisphere’s winter has inconvenienced almost everybody involved in the game, and also further a eld – God only knows how many Christmas events will end up su ering.

So here, on these two pages, is an assessment of exactly how weird this World Cup might end up becoming.

Qatar is the smallest and possibly most corrupt host in World Cup history, but will it become the worst performing too? And what other records might tumble?

THE MOST CORRUPT?

Well, before you shout it has to be Qatar, bear it in mind that Benito Mussolini, Vladimir Putin and Argentinian junta leader Jorge Rafael Videla have all been heads-of-state of host nations before.

In 1934, Mussolini was keen to use the tournament to promote fascism, reorganising the logistics of matches to support the propaganda. Mussolini was accused of personally selecting referees for the Italy matches, and if he did, it worked, as Italy went on to win. However, they did go on to win gold at the 1936 Olympics and then defend their trophy in 1938. After WWII, Stadio Municipale Benito Mussolini was renamed. The propaganda was again out in force in 1978. The Argentine authoritarian military junta government, two years after their coup, viewed it as an opportunity to seek legitimacy on the world stage and took a win at all costs approach.

Throughout the tournament, Argentina always played second, so they always knew what was required. Against France in the first group stage, after the referee turned down a stonewall penalty following a Daniel Passarella foul of Didier Six, he was overheard telling the culprit “Don’t do that again please, or I might have to actually give it next time.” Rumours the Argentines were high on speed were rife. A random drug test on a urine sample revealed the player was pregnant – coincidentally, so was the

WILL HOSTS QATAR BE …

waterboy’s wife. It got worse in the second group stage. After drawing against Brazil, Argentina needed to beat Peru by four goals to advance to the final. They won 6-0. But in the end, the tournament only attracted 15,000 overseas fans – a failure compared to almost all other finals.

2018 was tame in comparison. Hosts Russia progressed to the quarter- nals but never looked like serious contenders. It’s only in hindsight that the tournament looks murky, although most will probably say otherwise. Of course, Russia will remain tarred by the same brush as Qatar: the underhand nature by which the countries were both con rmed as hosts in 2010. Votes were bought from at least ve FIFA ExCom members from the Americas.

Since then, it is well documented how Qatar has used migrant workers to build its WC stadia. According to the Guardian, 6,500 have died – but perhaps it’s even more shocking to learn that 70 percent of the deaths are simply unexplained. Tales of workers being unpaid, deprived of their passports and generally mistreated have dogged the country for the last decade. It’s a toil of blood unprecedented in the tournament’s history. And then on top of everything, Qatar reneged on its promise to allow the sale of beer at the tournament, announced barely two days before the start, while o cials recently attacked a Danish TV crew for lming in a public place.

THE MOST WINTRY?

While the World Cup nal has never been held later than July 30 – a distinction shared by Uruguay in 1930 and England in 1966 (so lucky for host nations) – the 1956 Olympics were also held in the last two months of the year, although the Melbourne games did not intrude on Christmas, a less commercial festivity back them, lasting from November 22 until December 8.

Despite the World Cup taking place during the northern hemisphere’s winter, Qatar’s average temperature in December tends to be 21 degrees, so it is unlikely it will come anywhere close to matching the all-time record for the coldest ever game.

That distinction belongs to 1930 hosts Uruguay. When France’s Lucien Laurent became the rst scorer in World Cup history on July 13, in a 4-1 demolition of Mexico at the Estadio Pocitos, it was snowing – for the rst and last time in the tournament’s history. What’s even more bizarre is that it hasn’t snowed in Uruguay since. It’s like God created the World Cup, shook his globe to bring its nations together (only four European nations ended up competing), and then let the snow settle, never to fall again.

So no, the 2022 World Cup won’t be the coldest. Maybe that honour will befall when Uruguay co-hosts in 2030?

THE SMALLEST?

Hitherto, the World Cup has only been hosted by ve countries that observers might describe as small: Uruguay in 1930 (size of 181,034 square kilometres), Switzerland in 1954 (41,284), England in 1966 (243,610), West Germany in 1974 (357,022) and co-host South Korea (100,210) in 2002. But they all dwarf the 11,571 sq km inhabited by Qatar. The country is only 160 km north to south and 80 km east to west, so no car journey should take longer than two hours. It is only marginally bigger than Jamaica and Cyprus!

THE WORST PERFORMING?

Only once in World Cup history have the hosts failed to make it out of the group stage, which is no mean feat when you consider that Scotland, in eight appearances at the tournament, have never contested a knockout game. South Africa in 2010 was the only host to bow out in the group stage, but they still managed to beat France – so no huge disgrace there. Drawn alongside Ecuador, Senegal and the Netherlands, Qatar don’t have an impossible group, but should they be knocked out without winning a game, they will indeed go down in history as the Worst Performing Host in history. Come on Qatar! Even unfancied Russia (2018), the US (1994), Japan/South Korea (2002) and Switzerland (1954) managed to make the knockout stages!

WILL HOSTS QATAR PROVIDE ...

The day after the draw, FIFA con rmed Senegal vs The Netherlands would be the opening game of the tournament. Senegal famously beat defending champs France in the opening game of 2002, continuing a tradition of African sides shining in the spotlight started by Cameroon when they heroically beat 1986 champs Argentina in the rst game at Italia 90.

But that decision was scrapped in August, when Qatar vs Ecuador was brought forward by a day to o cially kick o the tournament. It makes sense as the hosts have contested every opening game since 2006. From 1974 until 2002, the defending champs had that honour, but then FIFA voted to not grant them automatic quali cation – so far, none have failed to qualify.

So is Ecuador vs Qatar the worst opening game? It had a long way to go to match the drama of Cameroon and Senegal’s victories or the entertainment of Germany vs Costa Rica in 2006 and Croatia vs Brazil in 2014. Never before have such lowly ranked sides (44 and 50) been involved. But while there was something bizarre about the manner of the 2-0 win for Ecuador, was it as bad as Germany vs Bolivia in 1994 and two forgettable a airs in the 1980s. Probably not!

Not since the 2002 World Cup in South Korea and Japan have the kicko times been so inconvenient for European football fans. That tournament memorably resulted in some of the earliest mass commuting in history, as millions arrived early to work to catch key clashes such as England vs Brazil in the quarter- nals. There’s nothing more de ating than losing with a clear head at barely 10 in the morning, although it didn’t help matters that England goalkeeper David Seaman got lobbed from 40 metres out.

So no, they’re not the worst kicko times in World Cup history, and as an added bonus, the only seven games to start before midday CET are all ones neutrals would probably avoid watching anyway. We defy any neutrals to admit they were excited about these seven 11 AM kicko s: Argentina vs Saudi Arabia, Morocco vs Croatia, Switzerland vs Cameroon, Wales vs Iran, Tunisia vs Australia, Japan vs Costa Rica and Cameroon vs Serbia. Sorry, Cameroon, we know you’ll prove us wrong. Saudi Arabia already has.

So by the time all the knockout games start, they will either start at 16:00 or 20:00 CET. The semis will start at 20:00 and the nal at 16:00.

COUNTRY WITH THE WORST GOAL RETURN?

Five teams have failed to score at the World Cup: Indonesia in 1938, Zaire in 1974, Canada in 1986, China in 2002 and Trinidad and Tobago in 2006. They share an unenviable record.

This year, one of them is returning to make their second appearance. And should they go a further 270 minutes without scoring, they will set a new record for the worst goal return in history. That nation is Canada!

Some have come perilously close to going six matches without a goal. In their rst appearance in a nals, in 1970, El Salvador lost their group games 0-3, 0-4 and 0-2. Suddenly Indonesia had company! But 12 years later, El Salvador had a chance to right their past, although it didn’t look good when they trailed Hungary 0-5 after 54 minutes to make it 14 conceded without reply.

Up stepped Luis Ramírez Zapata, the Salvadorian Saviour. His goal after 64 minutes didn’t stop the rot – Hungary eventually won 10-1, a World Cup record scoreline – but it did end up being their only goal in six games. They ended the tournament with a goal di erence of -12.

But Canada could end up even worse! Their 0-5 showing will no doubt play on their minds as they

seek their rst tournament goal to shake o the title of equal-worse goal-scorers in WC history. But fail to nd the net, and the title will be theirs all alone.

It’s very unlikely but several players could potentially become the top World Cup scorers in history in Qatar. That record currently belongs to Miroslav Klose, who found the net 16 times in 24 matches between 2002 and 2014. Not only does a striker need to be proli c, but they need to play in a successful team. In the four tournaments Klose contested, Germany made the semi- nals every single time.

The rst, and closest to Klose’s record, is his countryman Thomas Muller. He stands on 10 goals, and although seven might sound like it’s doable, only two players have managed this since 1978 – in fact, for seven WCs on the trot up until 1998, the golden boot winner always scored six.

Four more players are also within touching distance, but it would need the kind of e ort not seen since the early 1970s. Portugal’s Cristiano Ronaldo and Uruguay’s Luis Suarez currently have seven, so would need 10 to topple Klose, while England’s Harry Kane and Argentina’s Lionel Messi stand on six. For three of the four, this will be their last World Cup. Kane, on the other hand, might have a realistic chance of catching Klose in 2026.

THE WORST OPENING GAME?

THE WORST KICKOFF TIMES?

THE ALL-TIME TOP WC SCORER?

Wherever you watch the World Cup, it will be fun, but choosing a good venue can take you to the next level

To be fair, this article is just as much for voyeurs as it is die-hards who want to know the best venues to watch 2022 World Cup games this November and December.

Of course, I’m not suggesting half our readership is perched at a rear window watching Ironside/Perry Mason (yeah, the same actor killing them before he helped catch/put them away) trying to get away with murder.

Be a part of history

But as the recent death of the British Queen showed us, more and more people want to be “a part of history” – and if that includes watching jubilant French and crestfallen Argentinians (like I witnessed at Absalon’s Church on Sønder Boulevard in 2018), then why not?

Head to a venue where you know the watching fans will be as passionate as those in the stadiums – it’s got to be better than watching at home, right? Unless, of course, you live with Grace Kelly.

Bella no, later maybe

Or, simply seek out one of the big screens showing the games. For Euro 2020, this honour befell Ofelia Plads, but this time around, Bella Arena is the place to be.

As is often the case, tickets sold out very quickly for all the games, but that needn’t be the end of your interest, as tickets tend to materialise pretty quickly if certain teams get knocked out and you search hard enough. Ask among friends, check online forums etc.

Lots to choose from

But there are a host of other venues with big indoor screens in Copenhagen, including the aforementioned Folkehuset Absalon and also Hafnia Hallen, Hooked in Carlsberg Byen, Hotel Maritime and Forum.

You never know: you might end up at a screen where you get both a good atmosphere and cultural insights. So voyeurs and people who love it, together as one – like the plot of Blue Velvet, in fact.

Ebullient for England

Storm Inn, Stormgade 20, Cph V; @stormgade20

Storm Inn landlord Adam Tobin’s beer pipes are so clean, they can play ‘God save the King’, but winning the 2022 World Cup would be another story: anyone for ‘Land of Hope and Glory’?

It’s been a long time since people have been tipping the Three Lions to win the World Cup – but after losing in the nal of Euro 2020 and the semi- nals in Russia, they’re serious title contenders.

It has to be said that the atmosphere when they knocked Denmark out of the Euros was sensational.

Rival fans spent three hours chanting in the Storm Inn carpark until they were hoarse, while Adam kept on lling their pints from

BIG SCREENS AND BEST BARS

an improvised pump.

With its cask ale selections, and tasty hot pies, the Storm Inn is one of the only genuine English boozers in Copenhagen, so where better to sing a few verses of ‘Football’s Coming Home’ and ‘Vindaloo’.

“England will win this tournament” promises Adam the landlord. “Or not. Either way, we’re drinking!”

Dedicated to Denmark

Kennedy’s Irish Bar, Gammel Kongevej 23, Cph V

Ireland won’t be featuring at the World Cup this time around, and neither are Northern Ireland. So in the absence of the Green Army, the nation’s most quintessentially Irish pub is throwing its good vibes behind Denmark.

Entering Kennedy’s on Gammel Kongevej, just a stone’s throw from the famous City Lakes, is like returning to the ‘Old Country’.

Its charming rustic interior has several inviting corners to snuggle up in, and besides showing football on multiple screens, it’s well known for its regular jam sessions, monthly pub quizzes and basement pool area.

“We’ve got to be backing Denmark, haven’t we,” enthuses Tony Kennedy, the co-owner of the bar, who presumably won a toss of the coin when he and partner Tim Tynan named the joint 20 odd years ago.

“After all, half of our customers are Danes: and we’ve got to keep our locals happy!”

Cafe Canadians call home

Cafe Svejk, Smallegade 31, Frederiksberg; @ cafesvejk

“I fucking hate football,” con des Cafe Svejk manager Paul McNamara, which is in keeping with a bar that normally backs the Czech Republic.

But in the absence of Patrik Schick and Tomáš Souček this year, Paul has run his nger down the alphabet and found the next available ‘C’: Canada!

Figuring the Copenhagen Canucks need somewhere they can call home, Paul has Canadian milk at the ready, with a Halifax, Novo Scotia-born member of sta at hand to serve it.

For the duration of the side’s adventure in the tournament – so probably nine days then –Paul will not be washing his Canadian national football shirt, which had to be shipped in and wasn’t cheap!

There’s more to Svejk than the bar. Step outside you’ll not only nd plenty of places to sit in the December sun, but the charming side-street Andebakkesti where Frederiksberg Have awaits you at the end.

Before that, make sure you drop in at Bon Bon Is, the capital’s number one ice cream shop. The Italian in uence on their ever evolving line-up … well, it’s like Carlo Ancelotti at Real Madrid all over again.

Never write o Netherlands

The Globe, Nørregade 43-45, Cph K

The Globe has been known to serve up Dutch delicacies such as bitterballen along with matchday deals on Grolsch.

Welly for Wales

Charlie’s Scott, Skindergade 43, Cph K

Charlie, yes, he’s a real bloke, is known to be friendly to the Welsh contingent on the rare occasion they qualify for major tournaments: three out of the last four thanks to Gareth Bale and Co. Weird fact: Wales have a 100 percent record at making it out of the group at three tournaments, Scotland have a 0 percent record at eleven.

Pour la France!

L’Education Nationale, Larsbjørnsstræde 12, Cph K

This laid-back Parisian café in the Pisserenden district is a bit pokey, but it’s where you want to be if Les Bleus make the nal again, which they are developing into an annoying habit of late. The cafe unfurls the tricoleur and swaps Bourgogne for Kronenbourg when the football’s on, and don’t turn down an opportunity to try their food.

Pepe talking Portugal

Falang Asiateria, (formerly Det Gule Hus), Istedgade 48, Cph V

The Portuguese diaspora have been congregating at Istedgade 48 to watch national games for decades. At one point, this place was called Restaurant Skank.

Go Germany!

Berlin Bar, Gammelkongevej 147, Frederiksberg

With 140 bottled German beers and 13 on tap, the owners are passionate in equal measures about their German football and beer.

Aussie, Aussie, Aussie!

Southern Cross, Løngangstræde 37, Cph K

For decades, this pub has been faithfully serving Aussies in Denmark, along with hundreds of other internationals. A proper locals’ locale for watching Anglo teams.

VI9SIT DENMARK/KIM WYON

At The Storm Inn during Euro 2020

CONRAD MOLDEN

In September, Danish sports brand Hummel unveiled toned-down football kits for the Danish team’s World Cup campaign as a protest against the event being hosted in Qatar.

The best we’ve got?

Of course, this World Cup has been highly controversial due to forced labour, slavery and deaths. More than 6,500 migrant workers have allegedly died in horri c conditions. Many teams and companies have discussed boycotting the event to make a statement … but none have actually followed through.

So Hummel’s redesign of the herrelandsholdet’s kit is the closest thing to public objection. It appears as a sincere statement about the human rights abuses surrounding the tournament. For me, however, it is disingenuous, insulting and deeply unDanish.

Normally no BS Humility and sincerity are at the core of Denmark’s society. People are polite, direct and modest. Initially coming from Britain, I was shocked by what I perceived as rude Danes.

I would stupidly send very British emails to administrators at Aarhus University lled with indirect questions and long paragraphs .

They were so polite and formal they’d leave them confused about what I was actually trying to say: *Posh English accent* “Dearest Sir and/or Madam, I was wondering if there was any possibility you could help locate a department here I can…blah… blah… Rule Britannia.”

I would then receive an abrupt and blunt phone call from a woman called Helle asking: “What do you want?” (Fun fact: all administrators at Aarhus University are 45 and called Helle.)

Her call would be sudden with no BS and I initially found it very rude, but actually it was not. She was irritated but doing her best to help me; Danish directness is politeness. (And I later came to understand that saying “Hvad?” in Danish is not half-as-rude as its English cousin “What?” and most Helles are directly translating.)

Pre-meeting meetings

Over the years I have grown fond of this di-

rectness. I will not kiss too much ass (or arse) though. To ensure that goals are achieved, the culture here does also call for forventningsafstemning (expectation synchronisation).

Essentially that’s a pre-meeting about the upcoming meeting to check that every member of the meeting has the same expectations about that meeting, so that when they meet, the meeting will be a success.

It can take a lifetime to be so brutally inclusive. I have been at sta meetings that felt eternal. We would talk and talk for hours in circles. Meetings where time and space no longer made sense, where no-one in the room could even remember what did we start talking about? What time is it? What day is it? Was there LSD in the ka ekande?

Promotional protest?

Hummel stated that the “Denmark jerseys for the upcoming World Cup have been designed as a protest against Qatar and its human rights record.”

They are not boycotting the event – they will still be there. Their protest is a slightly faded logo on a 100 percent polyester top – a protest

you can buy at Landsholdsshoppen for 600 kroner with fri fragt, gratis retur and levering in one to three days.

This isn’t a protest, it’s highlighting an issue, pretending to care and exploiting the situation. The Danes have a term for such unprincipled behavior: dårlig stil. It’s like a vegan explaining the environmental destruction of the meat industry before getting caught eating a shawarma. If Hummel were serious, they would remove their logo all-together.

If ol’ Helle broke loose

It’s at times like these that I’d welcome a little of Helle’s fearless sincerity. The world can see what a monster the World Cup has become – it is not just the responsibility of this country but all 211 member nations to boycott.

From a football-loving country that has a real chance of winning, what a statement it would be if Denmark just walked away.

“Vinde verdensmesterskabet?” I can imagine Kasper Hjulmand asking. “Not under these conditions. We had a forventningsafstemning with DBU and the players. Let us do this in 2026 without all the horror. Vi ses i Nordamerika.”

HUMMEL

Football is a language of its own Denmark is going to win the World Cup! Disagree? In that case, you need the right vocabulary to do so. Find all the Danish football words you need on our website and make sure to follow us on social media for your chance to win a limited-edition football mug.

Read more at studieskolen.dk/vm.