Living Whole by Tracy Meeker

MINISTRY

LIVING WHOLE TRACY

MINISTRY

MEEKER

LEADERSHIP

CURRICULUM

Dear friend, Thank you for answering the call to ministry. I am excited to join you on this leg of your journey and share some of the tools, therapies, and hard-won teachings that God has brought to me on my path toward living out shalom.

In this class, some of what we discuss comes from secular sources. In my experience, the Lord is fully capable of using doctors, technology, and therapy just as powerfully as He is able to use prayer, petition, and faith.

It is my sincere hope that you will engage with this curriculum fully; what resonates with your heart may not be the right tool for someone you minister to years down the road, and the therapy you may not need could end up being the thing that God uses to rescue someone else from darkness. If you leave this class with a full spirit and a full tool belt, I will feel that I have done what God’s asked me to do. We’re in this together!

My prayer for you as we navigate this class together is threefold: that you will meet people and partners who walk with you further than the next few weeks, out onto dusty roads to prepare the places where God plans to go; that you meet yourself, more deeply than you have before, and discover the capacity in your own heart for grace and health; and that you meet Jehovah Rapha in the places where you need His tender touch. We do the hard work first so that others can follow more easily.

Tracy

HOW COMPLETE ARE YOU? “Another implication of [the Biblical creation story] is that the human person is conceived as a whole. Man became a living soul (Gen 2:7). Thus it would be inappropriate to say that man has a soul; man is a soul. The Hebrew conception of man makes no room for a dualistic theory of man. The word nephesh (which is commonly translated as ‘soul’) implies… all the functions of man: spiritual, mental, emotional, as well as physical. The nephesh can be hungry (Ps 107:9; Deut 12:20), thirsty (Ps 143:6), satisfied (Jer 31:14), enjoy good food (Isa 55:2); it can also love (Gen 34:3; Song 1:7), be troubled (Ps 31:9), cry (Ps 119:20), make research (Lam 3:25), know (Ps 139:14), be wise (Prov 3:22), worship and praise God (Pss 103:1; 146:1). The same principle applies for the human organs. Guts, or rechem, have compassion (Gen 43:30); kidneys, kilyot, convey instruction (Ps 16:7); the heart, leb, thinks (Ezek 38:10), feels (Ps 39:4) and understands (1 Kgs 3:9); the ears, ozenim, understand (Prov 18:15). The flesh, basar, which is supposed to contain all the physical functions of man, has also spiritual functions. The flesh is troubled (Jer 12:12), knows (Ezek 21:10), is spiritual (Joel 3:1), [and] worships (Isa 66:23; Ps 145:21).

Thus, man may think with his body and eat with his soul, just as he may think with his soul and eat with his body. Actually the two words nephesh (soul) and basar (flesh) are often interchangeable (Num 31:35; cf. Ps 145:21). The reason for that confusion is that soul and body do not exist separately. Man is conceived in totality.

For the Hebrew, to be whole, complete, “total” means therefore to be healthy.”

Jacques B. DOUKHAN1

LIVING WHOLE GROUNDWORK: THE ENNEAGRAM ������������������������������������������������������������ 7 HEALTH IS HOLISTIC �������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 11 PHYSICAL

“TALITHA KOUM”: HEALING SO THAT WE MAY LIVE �������������� 21 THE BODY AS A BAROMETER ��������������������������������������������������������� 29 EMOTIONAL

THE LANGUAGE OF FEELING �������������������������������������������������������� 39 SHABBAT: REST LEADS TO PEACE ������������������������������������������������ 49 FORGIVENESS ������������������������������������������������������������������������������������ 59 SPIRITUAL

SPIRITUAL WHOLENESS AND HEALING ������������������������������������� 67 IDENTITY, INTEGRITY, AND SHALOM ���������������������������������������� 75 COMMISSIONING & MINISTERING FROM COMPLETENESS ���������������������� 81

REVISITING IDENTITY:

While taking the Foundations of Freedom course, use this space to record things you learn that are particularly meaningful and important to your journey toward wholeness. You can also record how God continues to speak life into you through those revelations and lessons.

PROPHETIC ENCOUNTER

Ask God to show you an image of yourself in this season of your life. Use the space below to record what He shows you, either in words or images.

Now ask the Lord for a picture of where He plans to take you through this class. Use the space below to record what He shows you. (We will circle back here at the end of our eight weeks together.)

Groundwork: the enneagram

GROUNDWORK: THE ENNEAGRAM

“Lord, let me know myself; let me know you.”

St. Augustine

KNOW THYSELF It’s not uncommon these days to hear someone proudly say, “Ah, well… I’m such a FIVE.” And if you’re unfamiliar with the Enneagram, this statement would be fairly confusing. Are we rating our looks? Judging ourselves on some strange sliding scale of value? Why the number?

Chris Heuertz, author of The Sacred Enneagram, has this to say: “As a sacred map to our soul, the Enneagram is a compassionate tool, sketching out possibilities and opportunities, pointing us back to our True Self.”2 He goes on to say: “Most of us spend a lifetime trying to figure out who we are and how we relate to others and God… Unfortunately, in the process of forming an identity, we succumb to building up lies and illusions around our sense of self that only lead us further away from who we truly are. But the Enneagram offers a bright path to cutting through the internal clutter and finding our way back to who we are created to be.

Based on the nine classic archetypes of human character structure, the Enneagram exposes the nine ways we lie to ourselves about who we think we are, illustrates the nine ways we get lost, and reveals nine ways we find our way home to our [t]rue [s]elf and to God.”3 The Enneagram is gaining cultural traction and popularity as a valuable tool for self-awareness, and inter-personal relationship improvement. As St. Augustine so brilliantly pointed out in his simple prayer, self-knowledge leads us to God, and knowledge of God can help return us more deeply to knowledge of self.

Over the next eight weeks, we will return to this tool many times. In order to cultivate a prayer practice geared toward wholeness, we will be incorporating some study of our Enneagram types.

Which means, we must know what those are. ~7~

LIVING WHOLE by Tracy Meeker

From the EnneaApp, developed by Ian Morgan Crohn and others: “If you are new to the Enneagram, EnneaApp will help you find your “enneatype”, or personality, which references the strategy you use to get your needs met and avoid pain. EnneaApp will help you familiarize yourself with the basic motivation of the nine ennea-types. The three colors (red, blue, and yellow) that appear throughout the application designate the triad the ennea-type belongs to…

The application also contains detailed information about the growth path of each type, how to get along with other types, the assets and challenges of different ennea-types at work and much more.”

Please download the EnneaApp and take the free assessment. Us the spaces below to record some of the information available to you – but please be aware that the Enneagram is an ancient and multi-faceted tool. People often study it for years before they begin teaching it. Therefore, my intention is not to present myself as an Enneagram expert, but as someone who sees its value and the possibility for true self-improvement through increased awareness and intimacy with our original design.

MY ENNEATYPE DOMINANT TYPE (NUMBER AND DESCRIPTOR)

WING

HOLY IDEA

~8~

Groundwork: the enneagram

VIRTUE

BASIC DESIRE

BASIC FEAR

FIXATION

PASSION

DIRECTION OF INTEGRATION

~9~

LIVING WHOLE by Tracy Meeker

DIRECTION OF DISINTEGRATION

HOMEWORK:

Listen to the song by the artist Sleeping At Last that corresponds with your dominant type.

Record your reaction to it below:

~10~

1

HEALTH IS HOLISTIC

“The lord God placed the man in the Garden of Eden to tend and watch over it. But the lord God warned him, “You may freely eat the fruit of every tree in the garden — except the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. If you eat its fruit, you are sure to die.”

Then the lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.”

Genesis 2:15-18

“A crowd soon gathered around Jesus, and they saw the man who had been possessed by the legion of demons. He was sitting there fully clothed and perfectly sane, and they were all afraid.”

Mark 5:15 NLT

LIVING WHOLE by Tracy Meeker

HOW DO WE DEFINE HEALTH? If you ask someone, “Do you think you’re healthy? ”, they might grin sheepishly and shrug, thinking of the second bowl of ice cream from the night before, or the hours of Netflix they watched over the weekend instead of getting outside. Another might smile proudly and tell you about the latest diet they’re trying and their favorite workout. And another might frown, painfully aware of the ongoing autoimmune issues they face.

Culturally, our ideas about health have a lot to do with our habits and our history – and that isn’t entirely wrong. But without a more complete vision of health, we can’t experience a more complete version of health.

1. The Garden of Eden is a picture of life under God’s original design a. Genesis 2:9-25 – in the Garden, we live in competence, freedom, and community.

This is a Biblical picture of the modern framework for human motivation and personality known as self-determination theory. i. Competence: the ability to do something successfully or efficiently. We see Adam is placed in the Garden to tend to it and is also trusted to identify and name the animals. ii. Autonomy: the capacity to decide for oneself. God tells Adam that he is free to eat anything in the garden, except from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil; this illustrates the importance of and tension between freedom and boundaries. iii. Community: a feeling of fellowship with others, as a result of sharing common attitudes, interests, and goals. Before sin, Adam lived in direct connection with Yahweh. We also see God acknowledge that it is not good for man to be alone and create a “perfect helper” for him.

Man’s “ biological” life is directly dependent on his relationship with God. God breathes into man’s nostrils and man becomes alive. Life is then a dimension of the “encounter” between God and man.

Jacques B. DOUKHAN

1. King David’s repentance and healing a. Psalm 51 – David acknowledges his shame and disconnection, then asks for: i. Mercy: to stoop in kindness to an inferior. “Mercy is...a quality intrinsic to the nature of God.”4 God meets us where we’re at. ~12~

CHAPTER 1 — Health is holistic

ii. Purification/ washing: This again calls up the connection between the physical and the spiritual aspects of the human being. iii. Restoration to connection with the Holy Spirit: “Do not banish me from your presence, and don’t take your Holy Spirit from me.” (v. 11)

As Christians, we have been called to live with excellence. Health and wellness are not just good ideas — they were God’s ideas from the beginning.

Jordan RUBIN

1. Jesus heals the demon–possessed man in the graveyard a. Mark 5:2-20 (NLT) – this is a story of physical, emotional, spiritual, and environmental healing i. PHYSICAL: “howling and cutting himself with sharp stones” to “sitting there fully clothed” ii. EMOTIONAL: “living among the burial caves”, to healed but fearful of repossession, to fully free and evangelizing iii. SPIRITUAL: free from demonic oppression and “fully sane” iv. ENVIRONMENTAL: why does Jesus allow the demons to go into the pigs and drive them over the cliff to drown?

2. Mark 5:18 (NLT) – As Jesus was getting into the boat, the man who had been demon possessed begged to go with him. But Jesus said, “No, go home to your family, and tell them everything the Lord has done for you and how merciful He has been.” i. How does what we know about this man’s previous treatment inform this interaction? How can we relate to this?

~13~

LIVING WHOLE by Tracy Meeker

ii. Why would the man want to stay close to Jesus? Why would Jesus say no?

iii. What does this tell us about the importance of testimony to health and healing?

RESOURCES FROM “HEALTHY & FREE”5

1. Physical health is a spiritual responsibility 2. Proverbs 3:1-8 – “My child, never forget the things I have taught you. Store my commands in your heart. If you do this, you will live many years, and your life will be satisfying. Never let loyalty and kindness leave you! Tie them around your neck as a reminder. Write them deep within your heart. Then you will find favor with both God and people, and you will earn a good reputation. Trust in the lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. Don’t be impressed with your own wisdom. Instead, fear the lord and turn away from evil. Then you will have healing for your body and strength for your bones.”

3. Soul and Spirit: “An in-depth study of the Greek words for “soul” and “spirit” suggests that they are similar, in fact, almost identical. However, I found this definition, and it ~14~

CHAPTER 1 — Health is holistic

helped to clarify the difference for me: The soul is “the essential life of man ‘looking earthward’ and the spirit is that same principle of life breathed (like wind) into man from God that can look towards and experience God.” This suggests that the spirit and the soul have different emphases.” a. The body is the vessel for both; therefore, it is vital that we continue to align it with God’s best. b. Clarity in the physical health can lead to clarity in discernment, an increase in prophetic capacity, and a deepening of our ability to love God with our entire being.

4. Declarations: “The formal announcement of the beginning of a state or condition.”

WE ARE GOD’S MASTERPIECE

Ephesians 2:10 (NLT): “For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.”

• A masterpiece is a work of craftsmanship that demonstrates the mastery of the creator.

• We are evidence of God’s creative mastery.

• He restored us (healed us) through Christ, “so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.” Healing and restoration are purposeful.

• Our bodies are temples for the Holy Spirit — see Exodus 26 for an outline of how much God relishes the creation of both form and function.

Those who know Jesus should not only be the happiest, but also the healthiest people on the planet!

Beni JOHNSON

~15~

LIVING WHOLE by Tracy Meeker

SOCRATIC DISCUSSION

How do we define health? What are our expectations? What are worldly standards and what are God’s standards? Where do they align and where do they differ?

NOTES:

~16~

CHAPTER 1 — Health is holistic

FOR THE TOOLBELT

1. Where do you think disease infiltrates us (body, mind, spirit)? Can these entry points be segregated?

2. In what areas of your life have you repeatedly sought healing? Have you ever asked Jesus to heal you holistically in those places? What would that look like?

~17~

LIVING WHOLE by Tracy Meeker

3. How can you see self-determination theory being applied as a ministry tool? Where do you find yourself connected to community? Where do you feel competent? Where are you making authentic choices that reflect your God-given identity?

4. If the Garden is a picture of health, and the man in the graveyard is a picture of healing, how are the two related? Where do I find myself in each of them?

~18~

CHAPTER 1 — Health is holistic

Read Mark 5:30-31 in The Passion Translation

What is God saying to you?

~19~

2

“TALITHA KOUM”: HEALING SO THAT WE MAY LIVE

“Then a leader of the local synagogue, whose name was Jairus, arrived. When he saw Jesus, he fell at his feet, pleading fervently with him. “My little daughter is dying,” he said. “Please come and lay your hands on her; heal her so she can live.”

Mark 5:22-23

A woman in the crowd had suffered for twelve years with constant bleeding. She had suffered a great deal from many doctors, and over the years she had spent everything she had to pay them, but she had gotten no better. In fact, she had gotten worse. She had heard about Jesus, so she came up behind him through the crowd and touched his robe.

For she thought to herself, “ if I can just touch his robe, I will be healed.” Immediately the bleeding stopped, and she could feel in her body that she had been healed of her terrible condition.”

Mark 5:25-29

LIVING WHOLE by Tracy Meeker

PHYSICAL HEALING The reasons we seek healing are as various and individual as each of us. If someone were to ask you why you want to be healthy, your answer would not be the same as the person sitting next to you. Our reasons for seeking wholeness are as varied as the things we are seeking healing from and for. Our purpose clarifies the process; it helps us to understand what we must be capable of doing in order to live out of our original design. Beginning in the body can help us to anchor the bigger picture. It can help us to remain grounded in gratitude for this life and the intricately designed temples that the Lord created our bodies to be.

1. Physical healing can manifest both through a process and as a miraculous event a. God often works through processional restoration b. Jesus often works through miraculous encounter c. Holy Spirit gives us the grace to bridge the existence of both possibilities 2. In Jesus’ ministry, physical healing is often the precursor to emotional and spiritual healing a. We carry emotion, memory, and especially trauma in the body b. It can be difficult to experience healing without addressing trauma capsules stored in our physical body c. Physical healing is often measurable and tangible d. Builds faith and restores hope 3. 1 Peter 2:24 (TPT) – “He himself carried our sins in his body on the cross so that we would be dead to sin and live for righteousness. Our instant healing flowed from his wounding.”

4. Isaiah 53:4 / Matthew 8:16-17 (NLT) – … “He took our sickness and removed our diseases.”

HEALING OF THE BODY AND RESTORATION OF THE PERSON

Read Mark 5:25-34, Matthew 9:20-22, Luke 8:43-48 1. The woman had suffered from continual bleeding for twelve years a. According to the law, this meant she was unclean and had to be ostracized b. Additionally, anything she touched would be considered unclean c. Being physically outcast leads to emotional trauma ~22~

CHAPTER 2 — “Talitha koum”: healing so that we may live

2. The woman pushes through the crowd, touches Jesus, and receives instant physical healing a. She fights through her own shame and stigma to get close to Jesus b. She has enough faith to reach out and touch him i. According to the law, this would result in him becoming contaminated ii. According to faith, this would result in her becoming complete c. She recognizes and claims her instantaneous healing 3. In The Passion Translation, Mark 5:30 says “Jesus knew at once that someone had touched him, for he felt the power that always surged around him had passed through him for someone to be healed. He turned and spoke to the crowd, saying, “Who touched my clothes?” a. Jesus’ disciples point out that he is being touched by many people around him b. Our intent matters when we get close to Jesus 4. What is the tension between information and faith? i.e., doctors and the Great Physician?6 How does this story paint a picture of physical healing being a catalyst for spiritual, emotional, and environmental healing?

~23~

LIVING WHOLE by Tracy Meeker

“The daughter of Jairus was twelve years old; this woman had suffered for twelve years.

Jesus touched the girl; the woman touched Jesus. The two intertwining miracles in this chapter speak of Jesus healing the gentiles and raising Israel back to life.”

Footnotes of The Passion Translation7

Read Mark 5:35-43 – When it comes to your physical healing, where do you see yourself and others reaching out, like the woman did with Jesus? Do you see yourself or others waiting until the situation seems impossible? When He shows up, what is your reaction?

“But for you who fear my name, the sun of righteousness will rise with healing in his wings. And you will go free, leaping with joy like calves let out to pasture.”

Malachi 4:2 ~24~

CHAPTER 2 — “Talitha koum”: healing so that we may live

MEDICINE AND MIRACLES: ALL HEALING IS DESIGNED BY GOD

It can be tempting to pit medical healing and miraculous healing against one another – to think of one as evidence of the strength of science and the other as evidence of the sovereignty of God. But the reality is that all healing is designed by God. There are many, many medical resources available to us as individuals, and as those seeking to minister to others, it is in our best interest to carry an awareness of those options. Additionally, if we carry a deep faith that God works just as powerfully through doctors as He does through prayer, we will give our hurting friends permission to seek Him with all their heart, mind, and soul.

Physical healing may be necessary for those who are dealing with both injury and/or illness.

Sometimes these resources offer healing for both, and sometimes they primarily address one or the other.

1. Resources for physical healing a. Traditional western medicine i. Familiar and accessible ii. Prevalence of side effects b. Chiropractic care / functional medicine i. Integrated approach ii. Unfamiliar options iii. Associated cost c. Physical therapy i. Accessibility ii. Non–traditional physical therapy d. Play therapy i. Dr. Stuart Brown ii. Play is a reaction to God’s presence and restoration (Zec 8:5) e. Nutritional therapy i. Addressing chronic illness

iii. Fasting

ii. Nourishing the self

iv. Eating disorders

~25~

LIVING WHOLE by Tracy Meeker

EXAMPLES OF HEALING

1. Old Testament a. Barrenness

e. Snake venom

b. Shrivelled hand

f. Insanity

c. Leprosy

g. Resurrection

d. Plague 2. New Testament a. Blindness

f. Paralysis

b. Leprosy

g. Seizures

c. Bleeding

h. Possession

d. Deafness

i. Resurrection

e. Muteness 3. Psalm 30:2 4. Isaiah 53:4-5 5. Isaiah 58:8

“The body is a multilingual being. It speaks through its color and its temperature, the flush of recognition, the glow of love, the ash of pain the coldness of non–conviction. It speaks through its constant tiny dance, sometimes swaying, sometimes a jitter, sometimes trembling. It speaks through the leaping of the heart, the falling of the spirit, the pit at the centre, and rising hope. The body remembers, the bones remember, the joints remember, even the little finger remembers. Memory is lodged in pictures and feelings in the cells themselves.”

Clarissa PINKOLA ESTES8

~26~

CHAPTER 2 — “Talitha koum”: healing so that we may live

FOR THE TOOLBELT

1. Which tools for physical healing do you see yourself using most in your ministry?

2. Consider how these therapies might overlap and support each other. Which might you consider researching more?

3. What does it mean to you to be “ healed so that you might live”?

~27~

LIVING WHOLE by Tracy Meeker

Matthew 6:22-23 (NLT): “Your eye is like a lamp that provides light for your body. When your eye is healthy, your whole body is filled with light. But when your eye is unhealthy, your whole body is filled with darkness. And if the light you think you have is actually darkness, how deep that darkness is!”

What is God saying to you?

Job 38:36 (NLT): “Who gives intuition to the heart and instinct to the mind?”

What is God saying to you?

~28~

3

THE BODY AS A BAROMETER

“In effect, humans have dragged a body with a long hominid history into an overfed, malnourished, sedentary, sunlight–deficient, sleep–deprived, competitive, inequitable, and socially–isolating environment with dire consequences.”

Sebastian JUNGER 9

“God created it. Jesus died for it. The Holy Spirit lives in it. I’d better take care of it.”

Rick WARREN

LIVING WHOLE by Tracy Meeker

A STATE OF HEALTH

Why is physical health important?

1. Disease can cause us to feel discouraged and isolated a. Physical pain is exhausting i. Psalm 6:6 b. Being unwell can cause us to become intensely introspective i. Psalm 13:1-2 c. Chronic pain actually changes the central nervous system 2. Physical health is our responsibility and our reaction to redemption a. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 b. 1 Corinthians 3:16-17 3. The body is a barometer a. Intuition and discernment are God-created and God-given gifts to help us navigate life on earth b. For most people, these gifts are rooted in the body i. The heart ii. The gut iii. Revisit the Enneagram intelligence centers

Play energizes and enlivens us. It eases our burdens. It renews our natural sense of optimism and opens us up to new possibilities.

Dr. Stuart BROWN THE PRACTICALITIES OF PLAY

Play can serve as a powerful bridge between physical healing and long term health. It is unique in the way that it connects the mind and the body through a joyful expression of the self.

When we talk about healing, it is easy to focus on “doing the work�. This is not incorrect, but in my opinion, it is incomplete. Work and play are counterparts, but in our modern world (and especially in ministry) we can easily lose sight of the vital nature of playing.

~30~

CHAPTER 3 — The body as a barometer

“The opposite of play is not work. The opposite of play is depression.”

Dr. Stuart BROWN

Play is a powerful tool for reaching and maintaining a state of physical health, especially if we find a form of play that allows us to be active. We can also think of play as bridging the gap between physical health and emotional healing, in which case our bodies become the bridge guardian, keeping an inventory of everything that passes over the bridge — asking, “Who goes there?” and making a note. The body, the guardian, engages and then remembers.

1. When our bodies are operating at their best, they actually have the capacity to prohibit boundary transgressions. a. “I had a feeling about that situation...”

2. Many of the most common modern emotional illnesses we face have physical manifestations, a. Our bodies tell us when we have allowed something toxic to enter into our personal ecosystem i. Food allergies or sensitivities ii. Poisonous words and traumatic encounters iii. Lies from the enemy b. Our bodies are powerful tools for accessing healing and maintaining health.

3. Research indicates that play is a necessary element for human wellness, and by implication, wholeness. a. Matthew 18:2 — Jesus called a little child to him and put the child among them.

Then he said, “I tell you the truth, unless you turn from your sins and become like little children, you will never get into the Kingdom of Heaven.” i. Jesus directs us to be childlike ii. One thing that separates children from their adult counterparts is the frequency and voracity with which they engage in opportunities to play DEFINING PLAY

• Play is a biological drive as integral to our health as sleep or nutrition • Play is “purposeless, all-consuming, and fun.”

~31~

LIVING WHOLE by Tracy Meeker

• We lose track of time • Play is done for its own sake • What qualifies as play is unique to the individual “Play involves: Anticipation, waiting with expectation, wondering what will happen, curiosity, a little anxiety, perhaps because there is a slight uncertainty or risk involved (can we hit the baseball and get safely on base?), although the risk cannot be so great that it overwhelms the fun. This leads to… Surprise, the unexpected, a discovery, a new sensation or idea, or shifting perspective. This produces… Pleasure, a good feeling, like the pleasure we feel at the unexpected twist in the punch line of a good joke. Next we have… Understanding, the acquisition of new knowledge, a synthesizing of distinct and separate concepts, an incorporation of ideas that were previously foreign, leading to… Strength, the mastery that comes from constructive experiences and understanding, the empowerment of coming through a scary experience unscathed, of knowing more about how the world works. Ultimately, this results in… Poise, grace, contentment, composure, and a sense of balance in life. Once we reach poise, we are ready to go to a new source of anticipation, starting the ride all over again.”10 REFLECTION

Think about the last time you lost track of time doing something that brought you joy and satisfaction. What was it? How was it healing? Write about it below:

~32~

CHAPTER 3 — The body as a barometer

Ask Holy Spirit where He shows up when you play. Write your answer below.

FOR THE TOOLBELT

Dr. Brown is quoted as saying, “A lack of play should be treated like malnutrition – it is a health risk to your body and mind.” Are you malnourished when it comes to play? What steps can you take to change that?

How can you use play as a therapeutic tool or option in your ministry?

~33~

LIVING WHOLE by Tracy Meeker

HOW DOES THE BODY STORE TRAUMA?

Trauma capsules: One school of psychology is referred to as body psychotherapy. In this method, a trained therapist leads patients through the process of reconnecting with the body, and identifying where certain memories are stored and re-experienced.

1. The body cannot tell the difference between physical and emotional danger 2. Body psychotherapy allows us to process extremely difficult emotions and experiences without having to verbalize our feelings while in a fight or flight state.

3. Body psychotherapy serves a dual purpose: it heals the past wounds, and strengthens our connection to our barometer to help change our patterns and prevent future wounding.

4. It is an excellent tool for those dealing with anxiety, PTSD, eating disorders, panic disorders, and depression Trauma capsules can also be loosened through the practice of play. There is a joyful reintegration that happens as we engage in physical play which serves as a counterbalance to the “work” of therapy. We deepen our capacity to feel, and this expands our emotional fluency, which we will address in the next chapters.

PHYSICAL SYMPTOMS OF EMOTIONAL WOUNDS

• Anxiety • Panic attacks • Fatigue • Rage • Eating disorder • Adrenal fatigue • Autoimmune disorder (shame) • Weight fluctuations • Exhaustion • Dizziness / disorientation Sometimes, we have to work backward — we have to start in the body to gain access to the heart and mind. It is not uncommon for people to find that physical therapy deepens their emotional therapy, and gives their spirit greater capacity to look up and experience God. ~34~

CHAPTER 3 — The body as a barometer

FOR THE TOOLBELT

What is the value of experiencing different types of physical therapeutic options?

What part does community play in physical health and healing?

~35~

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SOCRATIC DISCUSSION

Why does God give us access to healing through physical processes like play, exercise, and nutrition? Does this access look the same for everyone?

~36~

CHAPTER 3 — The body as a barometer

PROPHETIC ENCOUNTER

Ask Holy Spirit to show you what your brand of play is. Ask God what He had in mind when He designed you, and what kind of playful practice would be most healing for you. Write your answers below.

~37~

4

THE LANGUAGE OF FEELING

“Now the man and his wife were both naked, but they felt no shame.”

Genesis 2:25

“And when we become disembodied from our emotions to the point that we literally don’t recognize which physical feelings are connected to which emotional feelings, we don’t gain control, we lose it. Without our understanding or consent, emotions start driving our decision making and behavior while thinking is tied up in the trunk. On the other hand, when the heart is open and free and we’re connected to our emotions and understand what they’re telling us, new worlds open up for us, including better decision making and critical thinking, and the powerful experiences of empathy, self– compassion, and resilience.”

Brene BROWN11

LIVING WHOLE by Tracy Meeker

SHAME IS THE ROOT

Let’s go back to the Garden. If disobedience is the original sin, then shame is the original emotional manifestation of that relational wound. Brene Brown defines shame as “the intensely painful fear of disconnection”, and we can see support for this in the Biblical account of the Fall.

1. Originally, Adam and Eve were naked and without shame a. Nakedness can be an allegory for vulnerability b. Their connection to God was complete in all three aspects – physically, emotionally, and spiritually 2. The serpent introduces doubt — about what God said, about Eve’s connection to God, and her understanding of reality a. “Did God really say you must not eat the fruit?” b. “You won’t die!”

3. Genesis 3:7 – “At that moment their eyes were opened, and they suddenly felt shame at their nakedness.” a. The root wound is shame b. They recognize their vulnerability, but nothing about their physical state has actually changed c. “I was afraid because I was naked” (Gen 3:10) WHAT IS SHAME

1. Guilt means I feel badly about my choices or actions; shame means I feel badly about myself. a. Guilt is judicial in character

b. Shame is relational

2. Shame emphasizes sin’s effect on self-identity12 3. Hebrew word for shame is Asham a. The root word is Aysh, which means ‘fire’

c. Chaos is also represented by the letter ‘mem’

b. The word picture is of something strong that devours

d. Shame is experiencing the “fire of chaos” within

~40~

CHAPTER 4 — The l anguage of feeling

4. Greek word for shame comes from “entrope” a. Literally means ‘turning-in upon oneself ’ b. Necessitates disconnection because of this turn c. Related to entropy, which again links us to chaos EMOTIONAL LITERACY

In her book “Dare to Lead”, Brene Brown writes: “Getting clear on the language is an important start to understanding shame. Emotional literacy is the core of shame resilience, which means moving from shame to empathy — the real antidote to shame.”13 Consider the depth of what Jesus has done for us through this lens of empathy: he endured the whipping to purchase our physical healing, meaning he empathizes with physical pain, wounding, and even disfigurement. And then, “he endured the cross, disregarding its shame.”

(Heb 12:2 NLT) The shame Jesus disregarded here was multifaceted: that he was hung on a cross like a criminal, the mocking and jeering of his executioners, the fact that it appeared to those watching that he was not actually who he said he was. But remember that Jesus would have also been hung naked on the cross; he redeemed us from original sin through his obedience and that original shame of our nakedness through his, by disregarding and “despising” that shame.

As Christians, we get to experience Jesus’ all-encompassing empathy as the antidote to our shame. He pulled up the root, made us free, and now asks us to follow in his footsteps.

EMOTIONAL LITERACY EXERCISE:

“In a world of emotional literacy, we would be able to recognize and name between thirty and forty emotions in ourselves and others… Emotional literacy… is as critical as having language. When we can’t name and articulate what’s happening to us emotionally, we cannot move through it.”

Brene BROWN

Write out your emotional lexicon. How many words can you think of for emotional states?

~41~

LIVING WHOLE by Tracy Meeker

EMOTIONAL LITERACY CONTINUED HAPPY

MAD

SAD

SCARED

SURPRISE

DISGUST

Adored

Aggravated

Alone

Afraid

Astonished

Embarrassed

Alive

Accused

Blue

Alarmed

Curious

Exposed

Appreciated

Angry

Burdened

Anxious

Delighted

Guilty

Cheerful

Bitter

Depressed

Bashful

Enchanted

Ignored

Ecstatic

Cross

Devastated

Cautious

Exhilarated

Inadequate

Excited

Defensive

Disappointed

Fearful

Incredulous

Incompetent

Grateful

Frustrated

Discouraged

Frightened

Inquisitive

Inhibited

Glad

Furious

Grief–stricken

Horrified

Impressed

Inept

Hopeful

Hostile

Gloomy

Lost

Mystified

Inferior

Jovial

Impatient

Hopeless

Haunted

Passionate

Insignificant

Joyful

Infuriated

Let down

Helpless

Playful

Sick

Loved

Insulted

Lonely

Hesitant

Replenished

Shame

Merry

Jaded

Heartbroken

Insecure

Splendid

Stupid

Optimistic

Offended

Melancholy

Nervous

Shocked

Unacceptable

Pleased

Ornery

Miserable

Petrified

Stunned

Satisfied

Outraged

Neglected

Puzzled

Tender

Pestered

Pessimistic

Reassured

Terrific

Rebellious

Remorseful

Reserved

Thankful

Resistant

Resentful

Sheepish

Uplifted

Revengeful

Solemn

Tearful

Warm

Scorned

Threatened

Uncomfortable

Spiteful

Useless

Testy Used Violated

~42~

CHAPTER 4 — The l anguage of feeling

NAMING EMOTIONS

In many older cultures, it was believed that speaking someone’s full name gave the speaker some power over the person being named. In some tribes, full names were only shared with a trusted few due to the power ascribed to naming. When Jesus encountered the Gerasene demoniac, he demands the name of the demon and then proceeds to drive out the thousands in the man’s body.

In a prophetic culture, we believe in the power of accurately identifying supernatural sources of strongholds, torment, oppression and disease, so that we can address them and break them off.

It is completely reasonable to think about specificity when naming emotional states and wounds from the same perspective.

• We must learn to accurately name our emotions • We must learn to identify what they feel like, and where we feel them • We must allow time and space to process them verbally, physically, and spiritually • We must seek out and offer empathy as the antidote to shame • We must be clear about our emotions so that we can empathize accurately PRACTICAL APPLICATION

An article in the Harvard Business Review outlined the connection between burnout, exhaustion, and loneliness. It’s a complicated web of connections, but the important idea is this: it is incredibly easy for us to mistake one feeling (loneliness) for another (exhausted). The same way our minds can mistake thirst for hunger, we can also conflate our emotional needs and wounds. Having language for emotions, and connecting them to a physical feeling, is vital to health.14 Read the following words and then take a moment to check in with yourself; can you locate where you feel these emotions? For example, you might feel loneliness in your shoulders, shame in your gut, joy in your chest… it will be different for everyone.

Loneliness: Joy: Guilt: Apprehension: Elation:

~43~

LIVING WHOLE by Tracy Meeker

Take a moment to remember a time you felt deeply loved by and connected to God. Write about that memory and what you felt, both in terms of emotions and in your physical being, below:

FOR THE TOOLBELT

Below is a list of resources for emotional healing: 1. Talk therapy a. Also known as psychotherapy b. Talking and working toward a solution c. Tracking moods and writing about thoughts ~44~

CHAPTER 4 — The l anguage of feeling

2. EMDR a. Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing b. Alleviates distress associated with traumatic memories c. Enhances and accelerates healing from emotional trauma d. Commonly used for those suffering from PTSD 3. Neurofeedback a. Subdivision of biofeedback b. Monitors and recalibrates brainwaves c. Useful for neurological and emotional issues 4. Cognitive Behavioral therapy a. Short-term form of psychotherapy b. Focused on problem-solving c. Change thought patterns to change responses 5. Art therapy a. Help people express themselves creatively b. Assess the emotional undertones of their art c. Decoding non-verbal messages 6. Mindfulness and Breathing/ Meditation a. Ideal for preventing relapse into depression b. Treats generalized anxiety and addiction c. Rebalances neural network SOCRATIC DISCUSSION

Read Philippians 4:6-7 – “Do not fret or have anxiety over anything, but in every circumstance and in everything, by prayer and petition (definite requests), with thanksgiving, continue to make your wants known to God. And God’s peace [shall be yours, that tranquil state of a soul assured of its salvation through Christ, and so fearing nothing from God and being content with its earthly lot of whatever sort that is, that peace] which transcends all understanding shall garrison and mount guard over your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” ~45~

LIVING WHOLE by Tracy Meeker

How do these verses show us a Biblical picture of emotional healing and/or health?

~46~

CHAPTER 4 — The l anguage of feeling

Read Psalm 13 (TPT)

What is God saying to you?

~47~

LIVING WHOLE by Tracy Meeker

Read Psalm 42 (TPT)

What is God saying to you?

~48~

5

SHABBAT: REST LEADS TO PEACE

The Lord replied, “I will personally go with you, Moses, and I will give you rest — everything will be fine for you.” exodus 33:14

“That’s why Sabbath is an expression of faith. Faith that there is a Creator and he’s good. We are his creation. This is his world. We live under his roof, drink his water, eat his food, breathe his oxygen. So on the Sabbath, we don’t just take a day off from work; we take a day off from toil. We give him all our fear and anxiety and stress and worry.

We let go. We stop ruling and subduing, and we just be. We “remember” our place in the universe. So that we never forget . . . There is a God, and I’m not him.”

John Mark COMER 15

LIVING WHOLE by Tracy Meeker

THE HARVEST IS PLENTY

Matthew 9:35-37 says, “Jesus traveled through all the towns and villages of that area, teaching in the synagogues and announcing the Good News about the Kingdom. And he healed every kind of disease and illness. When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them because they were confused and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. He said to his disciples, “The harvest is great, but the workers are few.”

This is where we get to thank Jesus, once again, for being our example and showing us how to do ministry. Most Christians are familiar with the phrase above, and often it can become a sort of lament for why we are all so busy in our lives, or a call to action for those who are already acting.

But verse 38 is Jesus answer to that perspective: 1. Matthew 9:38 — “So pray to the Lord who is in charge of the harvest; ask him to send more workers into his fields.”16 a. Jesus has deep compassion and sees the intense need of the communities and individuals around him b. He answers the call to action and brings healing and freedom c. He recognizes that the great need requires more workers, and we can assume that part of the reason for this is because he understood that workers must also have time to rest 2. Luke 5:15-16 — “”...vast crowds came to hear him preach and to be healed of their diseases. But Jesus often withdrew to the wilderness for prayer.”

A RECIPE FOR REST

We know that the Bible says faith without works is useless. Our ministry is a manifestation of our faith in Jesus, and it can be tempting to operate in that labor non-stop. But we also know that God Himself rested after six days of creative work. Biblically, we can find this tension existing in Jesus’ ministry as well, as he did miraculous healings on the Sabbath, which was God’s commanded day of rest. And yet, he also withdrew from the crowds and slept or spent time with his disciples, observing his own boundaries when necessary.

1. Faith inspires works that make our heart-posture evident a. Our belief, faith, and love drive us to the work of ministry b. Deep faith provokes deep compassion 2. Work requires rest to restore this same heart-posture ~50~

CHAPTER 5 — Shabbat: rest leads to peace

a. If we work without ceasing, we gradually lose sight of God b. We break from self-sufficiency to remember and experience God’s grace c. We break from our daily activities to meet with God d. Rest is vital to our connection to the Father, and also to ourselves 3. Rest is part of creation and a natural, Divinely-designed rhythm a. God rested on the seventh day b. Man needs to observe this rhythm of keeping a sabbath c. Servants, animals, and the land are all included d. A sabbath is both a response to God’s rhythm, and a rejection of the Egyptian (consumerist) culture17

“One of the first things I look at when I begin spiritual direction with a pastor is his or her daily planner. It reveals volumes about that pastor’s spiritual condition, values, fears, and ambitions. It tells me who their bosses are, who their lover is, and how much value they place on their soul. If you’re working more than 50 hours a week, you’re not doing it for God, no matter how eloquent your rationalizations.”

William C. MARTIN18 WHAT IS THE HEART OF REST?

1. Hebrew word is menuchah a. “A rest of love freely given, a rest of truth and sincerity, a rest in peace and tranquility, in quietude and safety”19 b. Equally connected to holiness c. Rest was created and sanctified by God, so we can glorify His name 2. Rest requires faith and obedience a. We have to believe that God will care for us b. We have to humble ourselves to see that we are not the lynchpin c. We have to obey God’s example 3. Jesus replaces the law of the Sabbath ~51~

LIVING WHOLE by Tracy Meeker

a. Jesus is our new place of rest b. Matthew 11:28 c. 1 Peter 5:7 d. We must still engage in actual rest so that we re-enter into spiritual rest PROPHETIC EXERCISE

Ask Holy Spirit to show you a place in your life where you need to rest. Write what He shows you below:

~52~

CHAPTER 5 — Shabbat: rest leads to peace

FOR THE TOOLBELT

Practical ways to rest 1. Good sleep habits a. Sleep recalibrates our bodies and restores our brains, nervous and respiratory systems, and organs b. Sleep also allows us to dream, which can create powerful opportunities to encounter God in the night c. Sleep can be disrupted by i. Stress and anxiety ii. Caffeine iii. Food choices iv. Sleep environment v. Illness or physical pain 2. Contemplative rest a. Prayer and worship

c. Scripture

b. Listening to God

d. Meditation

3. Recreational rest a. Relates back to play b. Avoid high cost, high exertion c. Should be refreshing d. God walked in the Garden 4. Aesthetic rest a. Exposure to the grandeur of creation b. Can be outdoor or indoor c. Should have an element of beauty (natural or artistic) 5. Understand your personality type* a. Introvert are refreshed in solitude b. Extroverts are re-energized in community ~53~

LIVING WHOLE by Tracy Meeker

*This is one more place where some study into your personality can prove extremely valuable as you tailor your rest practices and ensure that you truly are nourishing yourself and your relationship with God in the time you set aside as your Sabbath. Both the Meyers-Briggs Personality Assessment and the Enneagram can be useful tools for gaining insight into the self, your coping mechanisms, and how better to honor your unique identity through your choice of sabbath rest.

1. How do you want to elevate your commitment to a practice of rest over the next month?

2. What is your plan for how you’re going to incorporate that practice into your life?

3. Who are you going to lean on as an accountability partner as you prioritize rest as a path toward wholeness?

4. What aspects of your personality and identity do you need to acknowledge and honor in order to rest well?

~54~

CHAPTER 5 — Shabbat: rest leads to peace

LECTURE NOTES:

~55~

LIVING WHOLE by Tracy Meeker

Read Hebrews 4. What is God showing you?

~56~

CHAPTER 5 — Shabbat: rest leads to peace

Read Psalm 23 in the Passion Translation. What is God saying to you?

~57~

6

FORGIVENESS

“Jesus’ life is the example for how to love. It’s that easy. And that difficult.”

John Mark COMER 20

Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you. ephesians 4:31–32

LIVING WHOLE by Tracy Meeker

WHO AM I WITHOUT THIS WOUND?

In a society where we are often seeking significance, we can become enamored with the attention our wounds afford us. But we have to practice saying to ourselves, “I am significant without this wound.” We must see ourselves as God intended us to be: living freely in connection with Him, not limping through the garden unable to enjoy Paradise.

Consider this quote from Eugene H. Patterson:

“Pity is one of the noblest emotions available to human beings; self-pity is possibly the most ignoble.

Pity is the capacity to enter into the pain of another in order to do something about it; self-pity is an incapacity, a crippling emotional disease that severely distorts our perception of reality. Pity discovers the need in others for love and healing and then fashions speech and action that bring strength; self-pity reduces the universe to a personal wound that is displayed as proof of significance. Pity is adrenaline for acts of mercy; self-pity is a narcotic that leaves its addicts wasted and derelict.”

We have already learned that empathy is the antidote to shame, and Jesus’ choice to enter into our humanity allowed him to empathize with us fully, thereby destroying our shame. If we are called to live complete, as he was complete, then being empathetic is a part of that call (this concept can be used interchangeably with pity in the context of the quote above).

On the other hand, self-pity can be seen as the antithesis of forgiveness, and forgiveness is another vital element of living in wholeness.

1. Forgiveness is a bridge between physical, emotional, and spiritual healing a. Psalm 51

b. Mark 2:1-12

~60~

CHAPTER 6 — Forgiveness

THE PROCESS OF FORGIVENESS

For many people, forgiveness can feel like a difficult task, especially if the physical, emotional, or spiritual wound created was deep. People can struggle with feeling as though they have not fully forgiven if pain or grief resurfaces; others wonder if they’ve really accomplished the task if they don’t feel any differently after declaring their forgiveness. Because of this, it is important for us to find an outline for the process that makes sense and is practical for us.

Forgiveness is an act of creation.

Clarissa PINKOLA–ESTES21 WHAT FORGIVENESS IS NOT22

1. Excusing a. Excusing is casual and routine b. Forgiveness requires sustained effort, usually over a long period of time 2. Denial or passive acceptance a. Remaining silent and refusing to confront in the presence of an offence is not the same as forgiving. b. Passive acceptance emphasizes keeping peace at any cost c. Forgiveness involves recognizing and grieving over the damage done d. Choosing to release the negative emotions associated with the offender 3. Self-blame a. Forgiving another does not require us to accept responsibility b. We may share responsibility in some cases, and in others we may not 4. Always associated with remorse or repentance a. We can forgive those who refuse to accept responsibility for their actions 5. Reconciliation a. Reconciliation requires forgiveness, forgiveness does not always require reconciliation b. It can be right to forgive and still unwise to enter back into a relationship with someone who shows no remorse and may offend again ~61~

LIVING WHOLE by Tracy Meeker

FOUR ELEMENTS OF FORGIVENESS23

• Express the emotion • Understand why • Rebuild safety • Let go These elements are non-linear, and the process may cycle through each stage multiple times, depending on how satisfied you are with the healing you experience.

1. Name and address the emotion a. Accurately identify the feelings elicited by the wound i. Revisit emotional literacy here ii. Anger is often a secondary emotion, covering something we do not want to acknowledge or feel iii. Verbal expression of the emotions in a safe place to a trusted ally iv. Determine if the feeling is linked to a physical feeling, and allow for that deeper process to occur as well b. Counter-balance: this part of the process requires wisdom in that we must also give ourselves a break. Forego thinking about the wound at times; it is the difference between cleaning out a cut and picking at the raw skin.

2. Dig down for understanding a. Our brains are hardwired to seek explanations, and will continue to do so until they are satisfied. i. Empathy plays an important role once again ii. At this stage, we can choose to abstain from punishing the offender 3. Recalibrate the relational element a. When forgiving, we need to feel some sense that we will be protected from a repeat of the wounding. This is not guaranteed, of course, but we have to reclaim our sense of safety i. Sincere apology ii. Better boundaries ~62~

CHAPTER 6 — Forgiveness

iii. Removal of the relationship iv. Here is where we choose not to dwell on the event (break off its power) 4. Forgiveness realized a. This is a decision to abandon the debt that ‘justice’ would demand, in the name of mercy. i. “Stepping down from [what feels like] the powerful position of victim to allow equality again.” ii. This is a declaration that this wound is not what gives you significance, power, or identity iii. If this feels impossible, the processing steps may not have been sufficiently completed.

HOW FORGIVENESS HEALS24

1. Unforgiveness (resentment, shame, guilt, anger from the past) causes a variety of physical side effects a. The body produces excessive amounts of adrenaline and cortisol i. Can compromise the immune system ii. Contributes to cardiovascular disease 2. Hostility is an inflammatory emotion a. Heightens risk of heart attack and stroke b. Linked to autoimmune disorders (also rooted in shame) 3. Seeking forgiveness alleviates shame and guilt, and restores us to emotional balance a. The body, mind, and spirit naturally seek homeostasis b. God’s design is for us to live in freedom, achieved through reconciliation FORGIVENESS AND SHALOM25

“If you forgive anyone’s sins, they are forgiven. If you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven.”

John 20:23 ~63~

LIVING WHOLE by Tracy Meeker

“In the verse above, Jesus is appearing to the one who denied him (Peter) and to the others who ran for the hills when he was arrested. Does he show up with revenge on his mind or at least some bitterness, or an “I told you so”? No, Jesus shows up with forgiveness. His first word to them is “Peace be with you.” In Greek, the word is ‘eirene’ which means ‘peace’; but Jesus didn’t speak Greek, his actual word here would have been ‘shalom’.

Shalom is usually translated as ‘peace’, but it’s so much more than that. As a traditional Hebrew greeting and farewell, Strong’s Concordance defines shalom as “completeness, soundness, welfare, peace.” It’s like saying, “We’re all good. All is well between you and me.” When Jesus says ‘shalom’ to his disciples as he first appears to them after the Crucifixion, he’s speaking a word of forgiveness.”

1. John 14:27 – “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” a. Jesus gives us his shalom – his completeness b. We are called to live untroubled c. Being forgiven and extending forgiveness allows us to live without fear SOCRATIC DISCUSSION

What part does empathy play in the process of forgiveness? What does this mean for our picture of emotional health?

~64~

CHAPTER 6 — Forgiveness

1. As you were engaging in this lesson, did you discover any unresolved pain in your life?

Write it down below.

2. Choose a leader you trust and seek out an opportunity to process that pain with their support.

3. Ask Holy Spirit for a picture of life lived freely in forgiveness – both given and received.

Write down what you see / hear / experience.

~65~

LIVING WHOLE by Tracy Meeker

Read Isaiah 26:3

What is God saying to you?

~66~

7

SPIRITUAL WHOLENESS AND HEALING

Once Jesus was in a certain place praying. As he finished, one of his disciples came to him and said, “Lord, teach us to pray, just as John taught his disciples.

Jesus said, “this is how you should pray.”

Father, may your name be kept holy. May your kingdom come soon. Give us each day the food we need, and forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us. And don’t let us yield to temptation.”

Luke 11:1-4

LIVING WHOLE by Tracy Meeker

GOD’S STANDARD FOR SPIRITUAL WHOLENESS

1. Keep God’s name holy a. Recognize and honor His sovereignty b. Live in a way that honors His holiness 2. Earnestly desire to see His Kingdom 3. Trust God for our physical well-being a. Acknowledge that we have needs, and they will be met by our Father b. “Give us each day” means living in constant dependency 4. Seek God’s forgiveness and offer ours to those around us a. Empathy is one of Jesus’ teachings 5. Resist temptation a. Learn from the example of Adam and Eve b. Model our behavior after our Redeemer How does our work in the physical and emotional realm benefit from spiritual wholeness?

WHERE DOES SPIRITUAL WHOLENESS START?

1. Matthew 9:10 – “Later, Matthew invited Jesus and his disciples to his home as dinner guests, along with many tax collectors and other disreputable sinners. But when the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, “Why does your teacher eat with such scum?” When Jesus heard this, he said, “Healthy people don’t need a doctor – sick people do.” Then he added, “Now go and learn the meaning of this Scripture: ‘I want you to show mercy, not offer sacrifices.’ For I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners.” ~68~

CHAPTER 7 — Spiritual wholeness and healing

a. Hosea 6:6 – “I want you to show love, not offer sacrifices. I want you to know Me more than I want burnt offerings.” b. Two examples of spiritual dis-ease i. Sinners (who know they are sinners) with whom Jesus chooses to break bread ii. Pharisees (who think they are righteous), and are a picture of religious pride and spiritual disconnection c. Jesus reminds the Pharisees of Hosea, whose prophecy was all about Israel’s disconnection from God and the punishment of their sins i. Acknowledges that sin is sickness, and he is the doctor ii. Offers healing to those who recognize their need for him iii. Pride blinds us to our need for Jesus, and blocks healing INTIMACY LEADS TO SPIRITUAL HEALTH26

1. Vulnerability with the Lord a. Biblical accounts of all kinds display the variety of postures and emotions that God’s people have shown Him i. Wild worship, fear, doubt, ecstasy, grovelling, despair, delight ii. “We are hardwired for connection. From our mirror neurons to language, we are a social species. In the absence of authentic connection, we suffer. And by authentic I mean the kind of connection that doesn’t require hustling for acceptance and changing who we are to fit in.”27 iii. We are seeking authentic connection with our Creator 2. Trusting God a. “Understanding who He is and all of His attributes, and believing He is who He says He is.” b. Proverbs 3:5-6 3. Boundaries are vital a. God builds relationship with us by revealing parts of Himself over time b. Revelation as a response to and a catalyst for maturity c. This is a model for relational health as well ~69~

LIVING WHOLE by Tracy Meeker

4. Time spent in His presence a. Daily prayer and meditation b. Worship – singing, creating, adoring God in nature c. Recognizing His fingerprint on our lives 5. Learning God’s character a. Asking Him questions about who He is, and waiting for His answer b. Learning about Him, not just about ourselves and our needs WHAT IS THE CONNECTIVE TISSUE BETWEEN THE THREE ASPECTS OF WHOLENESS? (PHYSICAL, EMOTIONAL, SPIRITUAL)

GUEST SPEAKER: CHRISTINA ANDRIESE

How do we incorporate wholeness into our relationships?

~70~

CHAPTER 7 — Spiritual wholeness and healing

Can we be complete outside of community?

ADDITIONAL TOOLS FOR MAINTAINING SP IRITUAL HEALTH

1. Freedom Prayer a. Guided, intensive prayer b. Break strongholds and generational curses c. Identify wounds and oppression d. Radical, intimate encounters with the Father, with Jesus, and with Holy Spirit 2. Soaking a. Learn your spiritual dialect and practice it b. Intimate, personal encounters with God c. Accessible any time 3. Serving a. Builds and maintains connection to community b. Postures our hearts like Jesus c. Helps us keep from being myopic and self-absorbed d. Creates discipline, maturity, and opportunities for growth ~71~

LIVING WHOLE by Tracy Meeker

REVISITING SELF-DETERMINATION THEORY

1. Where do you feel autonomous in your life?

2. Where do you feel competent in your life?

3. Where do you feel connected to community?

4. How can you help those around you quantify their contentment using this tool?

5. Does identifying your places of autonomy, competency, and community tell you anything about your God-given purpose?

~72~

CHAPTER 7 — Spiritual wholeness and healing

ENNEAGRAM / PRAYER PRACTICE LECTURE NOTES

~73~

LIVING WHOLE by Tracy Meeker

SOCRATIC DISCUSSION

Is it reasonable to say that one metric for wholeness and health is that we are able to empathize without feeling that our state of health is threatened? Why or why not?

~74~

8

IDENTITY, INTEGRITY, AND SHALOM

Our values should be so crystallized in our minds, so infallible, so precise and clear and unassailable, that they don’t feel like a choice — ­ they are simply a definition of who we are in our lives.

Brene BROWN

Joyful are people of integrity, who follow the instructions of the Lord.

PSALMS 119:2

LIVING WHOLE by Tracy Meeker

WHY OUR VALUES MATTER If we acknowledge that God created us each uniquely and for a purpose, it would follow that our individual values would align with our calling. As Christians, we follow an overarching value set that God laid out for us in His commandments and that is a reflection of His character. His values show us that He intends the best for us and from us. But still, there is a sense in which the values that drive us and the moral compass we use to navigate through life respond both to God’s decrees and how we were designed.

Here, we will pull once again from Brene Brown’s work on courage, vulnerability, and leadership.

In her book Dare to Lead, she outlines a process for identifying and living into our values, which we will replicate here. Since those going into ministry will naturally be called upon to lead, it makes sense that we engage in this refining activity.

Additionally, identifying our values allows us to live in integrity, aligned with our purpose and the personality that God created in us. It is highly likely that you’ll discover your core values also relate to your Enneagram type. This synthesis leads us back to a deeper sense of completeness or shalom.

1. We have only one set of values28 a. “We don’t shift our values based on context” b. “We are called to live in a way that is aligned with what we hold most important regardless of the setting or situation” 2. The task is to pick two values that you hold most important a. Most everyone wants to pick between ten and fifteen b. Start by circling those fifteen, then work down to two 3. Being complete means knowing who you are, and who you are not a. “If you have more than three priorities, you have no priorities” b. Your two core values are where all of the “second-tier” circled values are tested – where we find our integrity 4. Choose two beliefs that are most important and clear to you a. They help you find your way in the dark b. They fill you with a sense of purpose c. You should feel a deep resonance of self-identification ~76~

CHAPTER 8 — Identity, integrity, and shalom

d. Resist holding onto words that resemble something you’ve been coached to be, words that have never felt true for you LIST OF VALUES Accountability

Faith

Love

Time

Achievement

Family

Loyalty

Tradition

Adaptability

Financial stability

Making a difference

Travel

Adventure

Forgiveness

Nature

Trust

Altruism

Freedom

Openness

Truth

Ambition

Friendship

Optimism

Understanding

Authenticity

Fun

Order

Uniqueness

Balance

Future generations

Parenting

Usefulness

Beauty

Generosity

Patience

Vision

Being the best

Giving back

Patriotism

Vulnerability

Belonging

Grace

Peace

Wealth

Career

Gratitude

Perseverance

Well–being

Caring

Growth

Personal fulfillment

Wholeheartedness

Collaboration

Harmony

Power

Wisdom

Commitment

Health

Pride

Community

Home

Recognition

Compassion

Honesty

Reliability

Competence

Hope

Resourcefulness

Confidence

Humility

Respect

Connection

Humor

Responsibility

Contentment

Inclusion

Risk taking

Contribution

Independence

Safety

Cooperation

Initiative

Security

Courage

Integrity

Self–discipline

Creativity

Intuition

Self–expression

Curiosity

Job security

Serenity

Dignity

Joy

Service

Diversity

Justice

Simplicity

Environment

Kindness

Spirituality

Efficiency

Knowledge

Sportsmanship

Equality

Leadership

Stewardship

Ethics

Learning

Success

Excellence

Legacy

Teamwork

Fairness

Leisure

Thrift

~77~

Write your own

LIVING WHOLE by Tracy Meeker

How can what you learned about identity in your CPSOM class help you as you clarify and live into your values?

Knowing and living our values help us to live in wholeness. When we understand what God built into our hearts as a driving motivator, we can honor our design and choose to live in integrity more often.

Spirituality is the deep human longing to experience the transcendent in our ordinary life — it’s the expectation to experience the extraordinary in the ordinary, the miraculous in the mundane, and the sacred camouflaged in the profane.

Pittman McGEBEE GOING DEEPER WITH VALUES29

1. Who is someone who knows your values and supports your efforts to live into them?

~78~

CHAPTER 8 — Identity, integrity, and shalom

2. What does support from this person look like?

3. What can you do as an act of self-compassion to support yourself in the hard work of living into your values?

4. What are the early warning indicators or signs that you’re living outside of your value?

5. What does it feel like when you’re living into your values?

~79~

LIVING WHOLE by Tracy Meeker

6. How does living into your two key values shape the way you understand wholeness?

Know my values = Know me. No values = No me Brene BROWN

1 Thessalonians 5: 23-24 – “Now may the God of peace make you holy in very way, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless until our Lord Jesus Christ Comes again.

God will make this happen, for he who calls you is faithful.”

What is God saying to you?

~80~

COMMISSIONING At Centerpoint Church, when a group of students is moving on to a new level of authority or stepping out of the role of student and into the role of minister, our leaders will commission them. I’m going to do that below, with a prayer and call to action. But first, I want to wrap up our time together with a few final thoughts and questions.

MINISTERING FROM COMPLETENESS Wholeness is challenging to achieve and even more so to maintain. I originally wrote “difficult”, but revised that word in favor of “challenging” because the truth is this: our Father’s shalom… the completeness of Jesus’ love and the presence and power of the Holy Spirit are available to us at every moment. They are not difficult to find, but it is often a challenge to accept that which we so deeply need.

As you continue on your journey, I’d like to challenge you to stay connected with at least one of your classmates and plan regular discussions that will further your healing. I’ve included a few prompts to launch your own Socratic dialogue: “Jesus felt power go out from the power that continually surged around him”… what must it be like to live in that level of wholeness and intimacy with the Father? How healthy must the disciples have been?

Once we become healthy and whole, are we more or less likely to find ourselves in connection with the sick? What does Jesus’ life show us about this?

When does empathy get distorted? What’s the boundary to avoid codependency?

How does clarity of language lead to effective boundaries? What is my plan to maintain my boundaries while still practicing deep, Christ-like empathy?

END NOTES

1. Doukhan, Jacques B. “The Hebrew Concept of Health.” https://www.shalomlc.org/index.php/ resources/publications/shabbat-shalom-magazine/126-hebrew-scriptures/232-the-hebrew-concept-ofhealth 2. Heuertz, Christopher L. “What is the Enneagram?” https://gravitycenter.com/sacredenneagram/ 3. Heuertz, Christopher L. “The Sacred Enneagram.” https://gravitycenter.com/sacredenneagram/ 4. Elwell, Walter A. “Entry for ‘Mercy’”. “Evangelical Dictionary of Theology”... 1997. https:// www.biblestudytools.com/dictionary/mercy/ 5. Johnson, Beni. Healthy & Free: A Journey to Wellness for Your Body, Soul, and Spirit. Destiny Image Publishers Inc, 2015 6. This question was suggested to me by my brilliant friend and fellow CPSOM facilitator Christina Andriese.

7. The text of The Passion Translation is a wonderful, illuminating, and deeply inspiring tool; the footnotes offer incredible insight for deeper study.

8. Estes, Clarissa Pinkola. Women Who Run With the Wolves. New York: Ballantine Books, 1992 9. Junger, Sebastian. Tribe: On Homecoming and Belonging. New York: HarperCollins Publishers, 2016 10. Brown, Stuart L. Play: How It Shapes the Brain, Opens the Imagination, and Invigorates the Soul. New York: Avery, 2009 11. Brown, Brene. Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts. New York: Random House, 2018 12. Elwell, Walter A. “Entry for ‘Shame’”. “Evangelical Dictionary of Theology”... 1997. https:// www.biblestudytools.com/dictionary/shame/ 13. Brown, Brene. Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts. New York: Random House, 2018 14. Brown, Brene. Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts. New York: Random House, 2018 15. Comer, John Mark. “Garden City: Work, Rest, and the Art of Being Human”. Zondervan, 2015 16. The emphasis here is mine.

17. Comer, John Mark. Garden City: Work, Rest, and the Art of Being Human. Yates & Yates, 2017 18. Martin, William C. “Ministry Begins with Rest.” https://www.soulshepherding.org/ministrybegins-rest/ 19. Robinson, George. “Shabbat Rest and Renewal.” https://www.myjewishlearning.com/article/ shabbat-rest-and-renewal/ 20. Comer, John Mark. Loveology: God. Love. Marriage. Sex. And the Never-Ending Story of Male and Female. Zondervan, 2014.

21. Estes, Clarissa Pinkola. Women Who Run With the Wolves. New York: Ballantine Books, 1992 22. This list is adapted from Mark R. McMinn’s book entitled Psychology, Theology, and Spirituality in Christian Counseling 23. Howes, Ryan. “Four Elements of Forgiveness.” https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/intherapy/200909/four-elements-forgiveness 24. Johnson, Beni. Healthy & Free: A Journey to Wellness for Your Body, Soul, and Spirit. Destiny Image Publishers Inc, 2015 25. Myers, Ed. “Shalom and Forgiveness – Simple but Difficult.” https://graceandgrind.wordpress. com/2016/03/31/shalom-and-forgiveness-simple-but-difficult/ 26. Johnson, Beni. Healthy & Free: A Journey to Wellness for Your Body, Soul, and Spirit. Destiny Image Publishers Inc, 2015 27. Brown, Brene. Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts. New York: Random House, 2018 28. This entire exercise and the language included is pulled from Brene Brown’s Dare to Lead.

I highly recommend reading the book in its entirety, or at least the chapter on living into our values.

29. These questions are also from Dare to Lead.

LIVING WHOLE Our Living Whole class will grow out of one overarching question: What is God’s original design for healthy human living? Th is question will lead us to ask and examine a multitude of others. We will work together to identify a theologically sound metric for healing and health. We will ask ourselves and each other if complete health is maintainable, if it is transferable, and if the enemy is powerful enough to distort the truth that “His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life”.

We will also ask things like: “Where can we find play in the nature of God?”; “What is the tension between faith and information, and how do we navigate it?”; “What tools are available to me as I seek completeness?”; and “How can I define and measure health so that I can minister to others who are seeking it?” Th is will be our ultimate goal: to launch you into your God-given calling and purpose, ministering from completeness.

KEY OUTCOMES  To discover God’s original design for health and develop in that design.  To define a metric or standard by which to measure our maturity in our journey toward holistic health.  To begin to articulate a "theology of healing," a "theology for healing", and "theology from healing."  To discover Biblical examples of completeness, as well as modern tools to help us accomplish this goal.  To examine and experience different healing methodologies through the lens of Christian faith.

 To begin to think about and pursue health that is shaped by (a) intimacy with the Trinity and (b) an appreciation of God’s intent, justice, and love.  To experience the transformative power of empathy and community through Socratic discussions relating to physical, emotional, and spiritual health.  To ask deep, challenging questions about our own completeness.  To have a radical encounter with Jehovah Rapha.

TRACY MEEKER Tracy Serpa is the Assistant Children’s Ministry Director at Centerpoint Church in Murrieta, CA. She also serves in the Prophetic Ministry, both on the prayer team and as an artist. She has two incredible children, Wyatt and Charlotte, and a German Shepherd mix named Daisy. In addition to her work on staff at the church, Tracy is an adjunct professor at a local community college. As a part of Centerpoint’s School of Ministry, Tracy is passionate about seeing the next generation of leaders have a deep, meaning ful understanding of health and the many modes of healing made available to us by our Creator. Tracy’s core values of Freedom and Learning inform all aspects of her work and her quest to see the healthiest generation of ministers launched into the church body and the world at large.

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