ministry
PASTORING john
ministry
hansen
leadership
curriculum
Dear Student, You’ve come to a School of Ministry - so, at your core, you feel drawn to ministry. You may already know that you want to be a pastor, missionary, or minister of some kind in a church or mission setting. Or, you may simply be on a journey of exploration right now - a journey in which you hope to discover whether God wants you to explore a future in vocational ministry. In either case, you need exposure to and experience with some of the most fundamental aspects of carrying out ministry. This is a book on some of the foundational, practical tasks of pastoring. The exposure and experience I want to give you in this class will equip you to carry out the core functions of pastoral ministry, should God give you the opportunity. The content of this book and this class will also help you to envision whether you can see yourself doing the kind of service that ministry often calls for. I want to share with you what I have learned about how to do the foundational work of pastoral ministry. The primary context from which and for which I will teach these things is the local church - and Centerpoint Church in particular. The value in this is that what you will learn in this class is not theoretical; it is based in a very specific context! At the same time, all that you will learn in this class - about pastoral care visitations, weddings and funerals, leading change, empowerment culture, and personal character as a pastor - is relevant and useful for engaging in ministry at any level. I should note, however, that this is not a fully comprehensive book on pastoring. There are many more skills to learn for pastoring than this one book and class can convey - but this book will give you a good foundation as you embark on a journey of discovery and equipping for ministry. I believe Jesus is eager to see leaders rise up in His Church who can carry out the work of ministry and leadership so that as people find Jesus they also discover a community where love, wholeness, care and support are available. That’s what this class is about. I have taught this class over the years with the title “P49”; that’s a reference to Philippians 4:9, which says, “Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me — put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.” It is my hope that whether you become a pastor, a missionary, a minister, an educator, a business person - or anything else - that you will be able to serve the Body of Christ with the kind of practical ministry I’ll outline in this book and in this class. I’m grateful to put my example before you in the form of this book - and I hope you will put it into practice for practical ministry that honors Jesus and builds up His church!
John Hansen Lead Pastor, Centerpoint Church
PASTORING Chapter 1: PASTOR AL CARE AND COUNSEL ������������������������������������������������������������������� 5 Chapter 2: SACR AMENTS ��������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 23 Chapter 3: EMPOWERMENT CULTURE ������������������������������������������������������������������������� 45 Chapter 4: OFFICIATING WEDDINGS ������������������������������������������������������������������������������ 63 Chapter 5: OFFICIATING FUNER ALS ������������������������������������������������������������������������������ 87 Chapter 6: LEADING CHANGE ����������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 115 Chapter 7: RESULTS & RELATIONSHIPS\ ����������������������������������������������������������������������133 Chapter 8: LIFELONG DIRECTIVES �������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 151
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PASTORAL CARE
Care for the flock that God has entrusted to you. Watch over it willingly, not grudgingly—not for what you will get out of it, but because you are eager to serve God. 1 Peter 5:2
PASTORING by John Hansen
THE SHEPHERDING METAPHOR So many of the metaphors in the Scriptures come to us from Middle Eastern or Greek culture. Often, biblical metaphors relate to agriculture - and this is especially true with the word “pastor”. In an ancient Middle Eastern context, there would be an immediate awareness of what a pastor is, in terms of its association with the actual work of shepherding. A shepherd provides direction and leadership to an entire flock of sheep, setting the course for where the flock will go, the path the flock will travel, and the duration of the journey. But a shepherd also provides intimate, close and personal care for the sheep along the way. Generally speaking, the flock as a whole doesn’t need much, except leadership, food, water, and protection. But from time to time, individual sheep need personal attention. If a sheep twists its ankle or breaks its leg, the shepherd is the one who will pick that sheep up and carry it and set its leg in a splint. If a sheep gets bitten by some other animal, the shepherd will tend to the wound. If a sheep gets caught in a thicket, the shepherd will help get that sheep free. If a sheep gets a burr in its wool or an insect bite, the shepherd is the one who will care for that sheep, by detangling the wool, cutting out the burr, or applying an oil or salve to the bite or wound so it can heal. This is the work of the shepherd. The word pastor is just a different way of translating the word shepherd. Yes, it is a metaphor. But the kinds of functions seen in an actual shepherd of sheep are an indication of what we should expect in the work of a person doing pastoral ministry. Our modern vision of a pastor may not always help us to see that. We tend to see our pastors only in one element of their work - standing up before the people and preaching a message. It is crucial that we understand that is only one part of the pastoral role. Equally important is their ability to bring close personal care to God’s people the way a shepherd brings care to the sheep. PART ONE: DOING THE WORK OF PASTORAL CARE 1. Embrace the it is needed!
function of
and
when
We live in a time when so much energy is expended on crafting soundbites, posting stories, and engaging in perception management on social media. A lot of the pastors that we love to listen to are adept at their use of media and image management. We might get the idea that being a pastor is about creating social media videos and giving energetic, inspiring talks to large crowds of people. Pastoral ministry may include those kinds of things, but they are not the heart of pastoral ministry as Jesus envisioned it. Jesus spent a lot of time sharing his message with large crowds and I imagine that if there were social media in his day, he might have used it the way he used a lakeside location to his ~6~
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advantage to address a large group of people. But Jesus also spent much time ministering directly to individuals - praying for them, counseling them, listening to them, and helping them. Giving help and care when it is needed is at the heart of pastoral ministry - and you must embrace this. Embrace that to whatever degree you step into any kind of pastoral calling, it includes responding to people in their time of need, brokenness, pain, and distress - and giving care or providing help. Sometimes just showing up will be enough, and other times your ability to convey wisdom or perspective will be needed. But the starting point is for you to embrace, with a glad heart, that part of the function of practical pastoral ministry involves you being a conduit for the love of God. HOW TO CARRY OUT A PASTORAL CARE VISIT: 2. Prepare
heart for
and
Some days, you wake up with a song in your heart, the sun of the Holy Spirit is shining brightly in your mind, and you are ready to love! But other times you have struggles of your own: family or relationship issues you are personally dealing with, financial matters that are causing you tension, and other kinds of pressure or even physical pain and discomfort that you are battling. If you have accepted a pastoral calling, you don’t get to skip out on giving pastoral care just because you’re personally not feeling it in the natural realm. A. Release
to the Lord
It becomes your responsibility to prepare your own heart to be ready to have empathy and give compassion. If you are having one of those sunshiny days, great! You might not need to do much at all to be ready. Simply ask God to let His love and power flow through you. But if you are having one of those other kinds of days, you must prepare your heart. Take a moment to be in God‘s presence, and simply say, “Heavenly Father, I surrender to You all of the burden, pressure, tension, pain, and despair I am feeling about X, Y, and Z. I set those things aside, and into Your loving hands now.” Then, take in a long, slow breath. Imagine Jesus smiling at you. Let out a long, slow exhale breath. Repeat this three or four times. and
B. Fill your heart with
Then tell God how grateful you are for His love. Ask Him to allow His compassion and empathy to flow through you as you minister to the person you are giving pastoral care to. Pray in the spirit - and imagine yourself seated in heavenly places with the Father. Imagine His goodness and love flowing into you. Ask Holy Spirit to fill you - and then - go. 3. Be Whether an appointment has been set or the meeting is impromptu, at some point you agree to meet with a person to provide pastoral care. It is advisable for you to do this meeting in an office where they are coming to you, or in a coffee shop or other public place. Due to the lack of ~7~
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safeguards, it is inadvisable to do this meeting at their home or yours, unless you can assure that others will be present should any security concern arise. When a person needs pastoral care, it is usually because there is a degree of pain, despair, anguish, loneliness, tension or challenge in their life. At the very core, they know that you do not have any silver bullets that can make these things go away. But they crave what every human needs: to know that they are not alone. A. Be emotionally
to
with the person
We are created by our God for connection. Sometimes we need a unique kind of connection with a person who is ready to stand with us in our trouble or pain. In the best circumstances, our friends and small group fellowship can do that for us. But often, people don’t have a close friend they feel can handle their pain, or they have a stirring in their spirit to receive the unique kind of care a shepherd can give. Just being present with a person in their moment of need or pain can be therapeutic. So, simply look into the person’s eyes, and listen. Make yourself available to connect with the person. If they wanted a clinical experience, they would be in the psychotherapist’s office - but they are with a pastor or minister because they need something that God can bring through this unique connection. B. Ask
to draw out their
Prompt the person to continue to share what they’ve been experiencing. Here are some guiding questions you can ask as you endeavor to be present: “Tell me more about that…” “What happened next?”
“How did that make you feel?”
“What else are you feeling about that?” “Is there anything else you want to share?” By asking these questions, you are signaling to the person you are caring for that you are there. There to listen, there to hear, there to understand, and there to love. So, begin by simply being present. By all means, refrain from saying things like, “Everything happens for a reason”, or “God has a plan “, or “I know how you feel “… These are trite statements that don’t do much good. Just be present. The ministry of presence is one that is not often forgotten - and is almost always appreciated. 4. Convey As you listen to the person describe their situation and their pain, a number of things may begin to happen in your own mind and heart. You may easily see the cause of the problem and a potential solution. You may actually feel a sense of judgment toward the person because of the
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choices they have made. You may feel a sense of irritation towards the person because they are focusing so much on their difficulty and seem to be unaware of their blessings. A. Set aside your own
,
, or quick
You must quietly and silently withhold all of these things. Silently give them to God. Because, for the most part, a pastoral care visit is an opportunity for a person to receive empathy from a pastor or minister, at least at first. Your first task in the pastoral care visit is just that: to convey empathy. By asking questions as noted above, you have already begun. Continue conveying empathy by leaning forward physically toward the person. Look into their eyes as they talk. Nod your head to signal that you are tracking with all that they are sharing. B. Communicate
and
Express a degree of sympathy and emotional solidarity as they talk. These are some phrases that can help you to do that: “Oh, wow, that sounds
“It sounds like you’re feeling
”
“It seems like you’re feeling “What I hear is that you
“You must be feeling so
“I ache with you over this.”
” and also
”
”
”
The goal in this part of a pastoral care visit is to put yourself in the person’s shoes, so to speak. Try to feel what they are feeling. Try to imagine it as though you were in that circumstance. Hold back on giving solutions or rebuke at this point. Whatever direction or correction you might share must come later. The person must experience some degree of empathy from you before they can receive direction or corrections from you. The old adage is still true: ‘people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care’. Earn the right to be heard by hearing first. 5. Communicate
and
After spending some time being present and conveying empathy, you transition into a moment where you do a bit more of the communication. Thank the person for having opened up to you the way they did. It is a struggle for many people to be vulnerable and share their struggles. Let them know that you appreciate how they have shared with you their experience and their feelings. Say something like, “thank you for trusting me with this. That really means a lot, and I know it’s hard to open up like this!” Now, communicate love and value to the person and remind them that they are worthy of love. A few statements that might help would be: “You are a fighter”. “I believe in you”. “You matter”. “I believe you’re gonna make it”. These kinds of phrases may go ~9~
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beyond what a typical therapist would convey, but you are not a therapist. You are a believer who is providing spiritual nurture through pastoral care. A shepherd takes a much more personal sense of responsibility for the care of a person whereas a licensed therapist provides a more clinical kind of therapy. but help them find some
6. Don’t give
After listening to the person, being present, conveying empathy, and expressing love, you may also have some sense of direction you want to give. You might even feel you have a perfectly clear vision of exactly what the problem is, and exactly what they should do about it. This will sound counterintuitive, but, do not give all the answers. First of all, they needed love, empathy, and presence far more than they needed the answers, and second of all, your answers for them may or may not be right. But, a shepherd does call sheep to a new place and urge them to move along the path - so, a pastoral care visit should include some form of answer or direction. A. Guide them to give voice to A clinical therapist will usually refrain from giving advice or specific direction, but a pastor is in a different role; giving direction or advice can sometimes be appropriate, but it is best to help the person come to their own conclusion about what to do, whenever possible. You can do that by utilizing the following promptings: “What would you tell someone else to do if they were in your shoes?” “How do you think God wants you to proceed?” “What are the steps you sense God leading you to take?” “What do you feel the Holy Spirit prompting you to do next about this?” “What is your own gut feeling about what you should do?” B.
or
their answer as you discern you should
As you listen to their answers, be prayerful in your own spirit. Does what they are saying resonate with you as truth from the heart of God? If it does, let them now. Tell them that you believe they are on the right track and that their thinking and feeling about what to do is on point. If you prayerfully discern that they are thinking about next steps which are off-base, tell them! Let them know that it sounds like what they are planning or thinking about doing next is off course. Share why you feel it may be unwise or unhelpful. Even though they might want you to just tell them what to do, that is not the most helpful thing for them. What will be most helpful is for you to help them exercise their own ability to discern God‘s leading, their own ability to embrace biblical truth and wisdom, and their own ability to choose to do what is right and good.
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7. Resist becoming
into a
cycle
The scriptures say in Proverbs 18:17, “the first to state their case seems right…” During a pastoral care visit, you are often hearing about a person’s struggle or challenge with another person. When you hear them describe the situation, it can seem as though the other person who isn’t there is a complete monster. But keep in mind that if you heard that other person speak first, you might feel that the person you are meeting with is actually the monster! Always bear in mind that you are hearing a one-sided retelling of a situation or problem, and it is unlikely that the retelling is unbiased. Furthermore, sometimes people have an unhealthy tendency to involve a third party in a way that gets them on their side, so to speak. This is called triangulation. In a pastoral care visit that is in regards to a problem in a relationship, you must resist becoming triangulated into a victim cycle. When a person is attempting to get you on their side, it is because they see themselves as a victim who needs someone to come rescue them, or at least be on their side against the purported abuser. What they actually need is to learn to be a powerful person who can stand on their own, communicate bravely and confront injustice with assertiveness on their own behalf or choose a healthy way to exit an abusive circumstance. If you accept their attempt to triangulate you and get you on their side - or their attempt to get you to be their rescuer - you are only perpetuating their unhealthy cycle rather than helping them to find real healing. 8. Pray
and give a
One of the unique blessings of being a minister is that you can pray in the power of the Holy Spirit while providing pastoral care for a person. Make time during your pastoral care visit, most likely at the end of the time, to pray for the person. Pray prophetically. By this, I mean that as you pray, ask God to give you prophetic, future-oriented, edifying words that represent God’s hope-filled perspective for the person. As you pray, pay attention to the sense you get in the spirit. Say to the person, “…as I am praying for you, the sense I get from God is that…” and then let the hope flow! Equally important, give them a scriptural promise that they can hold in their heart. The timeless truth of God’s word is powerful, and it is nourishment for a weary soul. Give the person you are ministering to the bread of God’s word. PART TWO: PASTORAL CARE VISITATION FOR A PERSON NEAR DEATH One of the distinct kinds of pastoral care visits you will need to make is a visit to a person on hospice care or otherwise near death. When a person is placed in hospice care, it is because the medical experts have determined that there is no longer any hope for a cure and that death is likely and imminent. Some people can be on hospice for many months, but often hospice only lasts weeks or days. Many times when a person is on hospice care, they are moved to their own ~11~
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home or the home of their family members. Everyone knows that the expectation is that death will come soon. You should come to a pastoral care visit with a person in hospice with this in mind, and you should come ready. 1. Come ready with While God may grace you with profound and clever words of your own, a pastoral care visit to a person on hospice is a time for the eternal truth of God’s word. There is a unique comfort from God’s Word that you should be ready to provide. Ask God to give you a scripture that would bless this particular person or this particular family. It may be something predictable like Psalm 23, or it may be something unusual, like a passage from Judges about how God saw Gideon as a mighty warrior! Let God give you a scripture; read it, get it into your spirit, and then share it with them. Read it out loud so that the person on hospice and the family members can all hear it. Even if the person in hospice care is unconscious or unresponsive, read it out loud for them. 2. Come ready in the When you are ministering to someone who is on hospice care, this may be one of their last days or even last moments. It is important that you come ready in the spirit. So, as you are in your car driving toward their house, turn off the talk radio, even turn off the worship music, and just pray. Pray in the spirit. Ask God what He is sending you into this moment to do. You must discern whether God is sending you in to pray for miraculous turnaround and healing, or to pray for peaceful release. Death can be dark and frightening - but it does not have to be entirely shadowy. Even though it is sorrowful by its very nature, there can be a sense of light and peace in this atmosphere where death is anticipated. As a minister of Jesus Christ, you can help shift the atmosphere in that direction as you come to the moment full of the Holy Spirit. 3. Provide a statement and prayer of If you have gotten a sense from the Holy Spirit that you are on assignment from heaven to pray for healing and miraculous breakthrough, do that! At the same time, the Scriptures are clear that part of God’s design is for us to experience 70 or 80 years in this life as we know it, and then to transition into the eternal reality. With that in mind, in most cases, when I have gone in to minister to a person on hospice, I sense that my assignment from heaven is to minister a word of peaceful release. I spend some time listening to the family. They may share about the health condition, or the personal story of their loved one. I listen to the person who is on hospice, if they are able to talk. They know that they are on hospice, and what that means. So I ask them about how they are feeling in regards to what’s ahead. If they do not know Jesus, I share the simple gospel of Jesus ~12~
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with them and invite them to respond. I share the scripture I’ve come ready to read. Sometimes I sing a worship song or a hymn and invite the family member or even the nurse to sing along. If the hospice patient is not able to communicate or respond, sometimes I will ask God to give me a prophetic sense of what they would say if they could communicate. If I have a sense of permission from God to do this, I will share those thoughts with the family members. As I pray for the person on hospice care, I speak the words of peaceful release. I say something like this: “John, you have lived your life well, and you have fought the good fight. As your pastor, I want to release you to Jesus, your good shepherd. Whether the time is now, tonight, or in the next few days or weeks, I want you to know that you can go in peace to be with Jesus. We release you in the love of Jesus and bless you in Jesus’ name to go in the peace of Jesus into His everlasting arms”. This moment is as much for the family members as it is for the person on hospice care. PART THREE: PASTORAL CARE VISITATION FOR A PERSON WITH QUESTIONS Sometimes you will do a pastoral care visit because a person has some questions they would like to discuss with you. These are important pastoral care meetings, and they can be a vital part of a person’s discipleship process. Here are a few thoughts that can help you to make these kinds of pastoral care meetings beneficial. 1. Request to know the When someone says they would like to have a meeting with you, you can assume that it’s not just a simple friendly chat. If you are in a ministerial role, this is a pastoral care visitation. You should let them know you are glad to meet up. Next, say, “What kind of meeting is on your mind? A meeting for personal care, or something else?” They can then share their need for personal care, or desire to discuss something. If they let you know it’s a meeting to discuss some things, ask them, “Can you share with me the two or three questions or topics you’d like us to meet and talk about?” This gives you the opportunity to evaluate whether you are the right person to do the meeting and, if so, to prepare for the meeting so that the dialogue can be meaningful. 2.
for the topic or questions
If a person wants to sit and discuss with you what you personally believe about evolution, or global warming, or politics in church, or any other issues, you have a chance to prepare. Give thought to what they want to talk about. Do some research. Dig out your old notes on the topic and refresh your memory. Ask a mentor or a leader over you what their insight is. Figure out if your church has an official stance so that you can speak to that. Do your due diligence so that you can come with a thoughtful response to the question at hand.
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3. Discern and address the Sometimes the reason a person is asking a particular question is not so much because they don’t know the answer, but because they have some kind of experience with this question - or some other ulterior motive. For example, maybe at their old church the answer to this question was a dominant theme and they were tired of hearing about it, and want to make sure you aren’t going to be ‘more of the same’. Or maybe the answer to this question or topic is a pet agenda for the person, and they are looking for a way to try to force their agenda into your ministry. I have actually experienced both of these situations. It is important to be able to discern and address this kind of background. If you sense that they’re asking the question because this kind of question has caused them pain in a different environment, address that background. If you sense that they are asking the question because they have an agenda they want to try to push, address that background. PART FOUR: THE UNIQUE PSYCHODYNAMICS OF THE PASTORAL ROLE 1. Grow your awareness of the uniqueness of pastoral
and
Sometimes in pastoral work, you find yourself dealing with a person who is interacting with you in ways that don’t seem to fit. You might even find yourself thinking, “Where is this coming from?” Sometimes it is just a person being ‘in their flesh’ and not having the fruit of the Holy Spirit. But sometimes you’re dealing with something called transference. And you need to understand it. 2. Understand your
and potential for targeted
Transference is a psychodynamic phenomenon in which someone transfers the feelings, behaviors, or qualities of person A from their past or their other circumstances to a different person - person B in the present - and then reacts to that person as if he or she were person A. People do not realize when they are engaging in transference, but it happens. In particular, it happens when person B is in a position or role of authority. For example, as a male pastor, I’m aware that my role is an archetype for paternal male authority. All three of those words are loaded. Paternal: if there were father issues, I will be a potential target for transference of father issues. If a father or husband was abusive, there is likely to be a degree of projection of resentment and resistance because I stand in a paternal role. Most of the time transference is unintentional. Male: if there have been males that have abandoned or walked out on the person, there is a likelihood that a person can transfer fear or assumption of abandonment onto me. Also, if there has been rejection, or a bad spousal relationship, or loneliness, the person can project ~14~
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desire on me, because my public persona seems appealing due to the nature of what I do (I talk about interesting things, I talk about God, I provide spiritual and organizational leadership). Authority: If the person has been abused in any way by someone in authority, particularly a male, there may likely be a transference onto me that I too will be abusive. This transference can come in both the form of resentment or abuse, and a “request” for abuse. For female ministers, the issue of transference is just as real, because as a female pastor, you occupy a maternal, female authority role. Maternal: if there were mother issues, you’re a potential target for transference of those unresolved hurts or unmet needs. Female: If there have been females that have hurt the person or wronged the person, you can be a target for transference of resentment. If the person has unmet emotional and physical needs that they desire from a woman, you may be a target for transference of those needs. You walk in the mystique of the powerful holy-woman - warm, nurturing, deep, and wise… and as such, a possible source to transfer all of those needs and desires to. Authority: If the person has authority issues, you’re a potential target of resentment transference; if the person has warped sexual desires, you are a potential target of transference of those desires. WHAT DO YOU DO? You cannot personally stop any particular kind of psychodynamic from taking place. But you do not have to simply accept transference and become a victim of it. Here are some steps you can take to mitigate the disturbance that transference can cause. 3. Take
involved in the transference
When there is an issue that has prompted transference, there may very well be demonic spirits at work. There could be a spirit of abuse, a spirit of manipulation, a spirit of control, or others. Your task is to assert spiritual authority so that those demonic entities lose their power. 4. Do not allow the person)
on you (even if the church or ministry might lose
You must develop a sense of discernment about when a person is becoming emotionally dependent on you - and you must not allow it to take place. If you sense that a person is beginning to see you as their source, you may need to limit your time and availability to the person, delay and decrease ~15~
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your communication to this person, and simply say no to meetings with this person. Sadly, they might interpret this as you being unkind or unloving - but you must guard your heart and theirs from the unhealthy pattern of emotional dependence on you as a pastor or minister. meetings
5. Do not allow prolonged or repeated
When you are ministering to a person with whom there are transference issues, you need to minimize the amount of exposure in which the transference can take place. This means that oneto-one meetings should be kept to a minimum. This is especially true when there is any possibility of sexual or emotional attraction between this person and you, in either direction. 6. Do not engage in When there is any possibility of sexual or emotional attraction between this person and you, you should guard the gates. One of the gates to be sure to guard is that of texting and private DM’s. You should even let the person know that you’re not available by text or DM - and that it is simply one of the protocols of the ministry that we keep our communications public and safe. 7. Do not put yourself in When there is any possibility of sexual or emotional attraction between this person and you, you must not allow yourself to be in any compromising situation. Don’t be alone in a room with the door closed. Don’t ride in a car alone. Don’t stay late after everyone has left alone with this person. Determine now that you will choose the proverbial ‘Billy Graham rule’ out of honor for the calling of pastoral ministry. 8. Redirect to an If there is a person with whom you are experiencing a transference issue, you may need to redirect them to a different pastor or minister from whom they can receive care. If there is any possibility of sexual or emotional attraction between this person and you, you should direct them to a minister with whom there will be less likelihood of emotional or sexual attraction. You also may need to actually address the issue of transference you’ve observed, and suggest a path for inner healing through Freedom Prayer so that they can be made whole. 9. Be
with your
and your colleagues about the matter
If you’ve experienced any transference issues or picked up on any possibility of sexual or emotional attraction between a person you’re ministering to and you, you’ve got to tell someone. In particular, tell your leader. Be truthful about the dynamic, and let them know you want them to watch you and watch out for you regarding this. The acknowledgment is a victory strategy in and of itself. ~16~
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10. Deal with
transference issues!
Remember that many of us are wounded healers. We have our own issues and problems to sort through and seek God’s healing for. If you’ve had mother issues or daddy problems, those are areas that need healing. The healing can come through a deep level healing and deliverance session such as Freedom Prayer - and you should make sure to deal with these things in the same way a surgeon would scrub their hands before heading into surgery.
CONCLUSION In ministry, there will always be more people with problems than you will personally have the energy or time to minister to. Accept the fact that you have limitations. Jesus ‘withdrew to lonely places to pray’ (Luke 5:16) even though there were still crowds of people that would have liked his touch. There were probably some people who became cynical about this choice Jesus made. They might have scoffed and said ‘See? He doesn’t really care! He doesn’t really love!’ Nevertheless - he withdrew - and then he did what he reasonably could while still being whole and healthy. In your practical pastoral ministry, you will have to determine that you will personally minister to people however much you can while still maintaining a healthy and whole life. Further than this, you must also determine to create teams, systems and structures so that people in your ministry do get pastoral care and support - even if it isn’t directly from you.
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GROUP DISCUSSION: 1. Why is the metaphor of shepherding an important one to pay attention to as you think about doing practical pastoral ministry?
2. Describe a time when you or someone you know received a pastoral care visit of some kind. Why was it helpful or positive - or not?
3. Which of the facets of a standard pastoral care visit for common care seems like it would be a bit challenging for you?
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4. Share about what helps you to get your heart ready for a difficult or challenging moment.
5. How does a hospice care visit seem unique to you, and different than other kinds of pastoral care visits?
RESPONSE: Write a short paragraph of response related to this chapter’s teaching. 1. Why does the practical ministry of pastoral care matter?
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PASTORING by John Hansen
2. What are the goals of a pastoral care visit and why are these goals important?
3. What does it mean to be triangulated into someone’s drama, and why should you avoid it?
4. How can you prepare yourself for a hospice care ministry visit - and what should you be ready to do and why?
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5. How is a pastoral care visit for specific questions unique - and how should you handle it?
6. Briefly describe the uniqueness of the pastoral role as it relates to the concept of transference and some of the things you can do to guard against it.
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PRACTICAL MINISTRY PASTORAL CARE ACTIVATION
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2
SACRAMENTS
“And you are living stones that God is building into his spiritual temple. What’s more, you are his holy priests. Through the mediation of Jesus Christ, you offer spiritual sacrifices that please God.” 1 Peter 2:5
PASTORING by John Hansen
INTRODUCTION ‘We’ve never been to church before…’ I was standing on the patio in front of Centerpoint Church’s worship center as the Sunday Service was just beginning. One of our ushers said to me, “Hey Pastor John, I want you to meet a new family – this is their first time coming to church.” I introduced myself and met all four – Roland and Michelle, and their kids Austin and Macey. We exchanged small talk as you’d expect - but then I pried a bit: “So this is your first time to our church?” Roland said, “Well, yeah – this is our first time ever coming to church – any church really.” I asked how he came to Centerpoint, and he shared that one of our volunteers, Dan, had invited him. Dan and his family had been a part of our church for a couple of years, and these were friends of theirs. Dan shared the gospel with this guy – and then invited him to our church. Dan felt that the message series we were doing on the topic of family would be something that Roland could relate to. He felt he had been personally investing in Roland a lot, and that this was the time to invite them to church; the practical, helpful nature of the series helped make that possible. It was so exciting to me to see this family standing there – all four together, acknowledging how new all this was for them. In that moment, God gave me a vision of this family in the spiritual realm. This was a whole family who had never been to church, and in this momentary vision, it was as though they were all lined with gold; a treasure being brought to Jesus, a gift to Him! A few weeks later during weekend services, I was standing out front greeting people as worship was just getting started. Roland came briskly walking out of the worship center looking for me. He said, “Hey, uh, this whole communion thing -- help! I really don’t know what to do. What, exactly, am I supposed to do? Am I supposed to go forward? Am I supposed to drink it?” He had seen in the weekly bulletin that ‘communion’ was on the service plan for the day. I briefly talked him through it and sent him back in. And then I wept for joy, because of the amazing privilege it is to be able to receive and shepherd those who Jesus is redeeming! At the same time, I had an epiphany about the fact that some of the sacred things we do in church are not easily understood by those who are outsiders or who are otherwise ‘uninitiated’. For that matter, they aren’t always well understood by insiders. The sacraments, such as baptism, and communion- and the sacred moments, such as the altar call and even the offering time - are elements of the Christian worship experience that need to be carried out and experienced with understanding. Pastors and ministers who lead these moments need to understand the historical, theological, and scriptural foundations for the sacraments, and need to know how to officiate these sacraments gracefully. ~24~
CHAPTER 2 — Sacraments
PART ONE: HISTORICAL & THEOLOGICAL FOUNDATION OF THE SACRAMENTS Historically, the sacraments have been referred to as “the means of grace”. The entire church of Jesus Christ finds its historical epicenter in the church founded by Peter in Rome. This Church has come to be known as the Roman Catholic Church - and until roughly the year 1054, it was the only Christian church, for all intents and purposes. No matter what your feelings about the Roman Catholic Church today, you do share a historical connection to it - and your Christian faith as you know it has been, at least in part, affected, formulated, and shaped by it. In the Roman Catholic tradition, there are seven sacraments: baptism, confirmation, communion, confession, anointing of the sick, holy orders, and matrimony. These rites were officiated by priests as an aspect of worship. The post-reformation Christian Church was established on a theology and practice that was purposefully less dependent upon priests. As a result, the number of practices regarded as sacraments, only to be performed by priests, was reduced to just two in most nonCatholic Christian churches. Those two sacraments are baptism and communion. 1. The Christian sacraments are the spiritual practices of corporate worship
.
In general, the Christian Church embraces the practices of baptism and communion as sacraments because they were instituted by Jesus and given to the church by him. In Matthew 28:19, Jesus commanded us as disciples to baptize all future disciples of Christ. In Matthew 26:26-29 Jesus gave us, his disciples, the Lord’s supper, or communion. These sacraments are not meant to be private, individual, self-initiated activities, but spiritual experiences of divine encounter to be shared in corporate worship and community with other believers. 2. The Sacraments are a
, but a means of salvation.
Some Protestant Christian churches and denominations do not embrace the term sacrament and utilize the term ‘ordinance’ instead. They contend that the terminology of ‘sacrament’ is too intertwined with the Roman Catholic Church. The thought is that in the Roman Catholic Church, sacraments are a means of grace, and that could be interpreted as including the grace of salvation. Most protestant Christians believe that grace comes freely and does not require our participation in any kind of rite or ritual. Even though the belief did originate with the Roman Catholic Church, I embrace the truth that these sacraments are, in fact, a means of grace. Not salvific grace - just beneficial grace. That is, I believe that the power and presence of God are available and active in and through these sacred moments in a unique way to bless God’s people.
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3. The sacraments are both
and
.
Both of the sacraments - communion and baptism - express a symbolic and prophetic message that Jesus Christ lived, died, and was raised from the dead and that we have an opportunity to be joined with him in his death and resurrection. The symbolic nature of these practices helps us to better understand and appreciate the depth of love in what Jesus has done for us. These sacraments are prophetic in the sense that they engage the supernatural reality in a way that transcends time and allows us to experience the eminence of God. 4. In communion, the elements signify the .
reality of the presence of
In Matthew 26:26-28, Jesus lifted the loaf of bread and the cup and said these timeless words “… this is my body… …this is my blood…” It seems clear that he was not speaking literally, especially since he had not yet spilled any blood, and his body was currently seated at that table! However, in the early history of the church, the leaders and theologians of the church decided that those words must be taken literally. And so, the belief in transubstantiation during communion was initiated. Transubstantiation is the belief that when the priest declares it to be the body and blood of Jesus, it actually changes in substance and becomes just that - the actual flesh and blood of Jesus. This is the current Roman Catholic belief. Some Protestant Christian denominations believe in consubstantiation - the idea that the flesh and blood of Jesus are present with the bread and wine in a spiritual sense. The majority of Christians simply believe that Jesus was using metaphorical language. I believe that Jesus was using both prophetic and metaphorical language, and that in communion, we can supernaturally engage with the reality of his broken body and his shed blood. 5. Communion is also called because it reflects the moment Jesus for His own broken body and shed blood. The traditional English terminology for Communion - or The Lord’s Supper - is the Eucharist. Eucharist Is a word from the ancient Greek language that simply means “thanksgiving “. It comes from the scripture in 1 Corinthians 11:23-24 where it says: “Jesus took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it…” Christian believers referred to communion as the Eucharist by the late first century. Whether you call it the Eucharist, the Lord’s Supper, or communion, it is a powerful prophetic experience! As a pastor or minister, you must see and value the reality of the mystical intersection between eternity and time, this world and the next, natural and supernatural which communion facilitates. You must believe in just how present Jesus always is, but especially in the moment of communion and the sharing of the elements of communion. Isaiah 53:5 says that by the stripes, or wounds, of Jesus, from which he bled, we are healed. So, when we take communion we are embracing the eternal reality of the healing power of the blood of Jesus - and we are making a prophetic declaration: “by his wounds, I am healed!” In Luke ~26~
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22:20, Jesus says that the cup provides a new covenant through his blood. The old covenant, with its requirement for the blood sacrifice of animals in atonement for sin, is satisfied permanently by the perfect sacrifice of the Lamb of God, Jesus! Ephesians 1:7 tells us that the blood of Jesus brings forgiveness of sins. 6. Communion is
and is a way to all that is available through the Cross!
God and
Jesus wanted us to be aware of how his body was broken so that we could be made whole. He wanted us to know that his blood was shed as he made the perfect sacrifice in our place. It is the broken body of Jesus that makes us whole, and it is the perfect shed blood of Jesus that gives us right-standing before God so that we can enter boldly into the throne room of God. Ultimately, communion points us to the Cross of Jesus, from which every good and perfect gift of salvation ultimately comes: forgiveness, grace, mercy, wholeness, redemption, restoration, adoption, acceptance, inclusion, and healing! So, celebrate and officiate communion with great faith in the great things that God has done and will do through the power of the Cross! 7. Baptism signifies the death and resurrection of Jesus.
into God’s family and
with
Jesus told us to go and make disciples, and that a core element of disciple-making is to baptize disciples in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit (Matthew 28:19). Jesus knew that people who became his disciples would need to have a “crossing the line” moment that would signify the deep change they experienced in becoming his disciples. Jesus knew that people who would become his disciples would need to be able to experience a moment that would serve as a demarcation of transition into the new Jesus way of life. Baptism is that, and more. Baptism is an act that initiates us into the family of God - and launches us into a life with God! Baptism signifies cleansing and healing. Baptism is a prophetic enactment of personal engagement in the death and resurrection of Jesus. Baptism is a public declaration of our personal identification with Jesus Christ as Lord. Colossians 2:12 says “…you were buried with Christ when you were baptized and you were raised to new life because you trusted the mighty power of God.” The scripture declares that a prophetic reality is taking place when a person is being baptized: a profound personal identification with the death of Jesus is taking place, and so is a powerful personal association with his resurrection! As you officiate and celebrate baptism, come to the moment with a heart full of faith for the prophetic significance of what is actually taking place in that moment. Pray that God would move in power and that it would be far more than mere ceremony!
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PASTORING by John Hansen
PART TWO: LEADING COMMUNION There are many ways to lead communion, and what I will share with you here represents my preferred approach. Often times, people speak about churches with a false dichotomy, regarding some churches as liturgical churches, and others as non-liturgical churches. The truth is that all churches are liturgical. Some forms of liturgy are highly formalized, rigid, fixed, and unchangeable. Other forms of liturgy are more fluid, unscripted, spontaneous, and personal. In a more traditional liturgical church setting, the book of common prayer, or the denomination’s ‘pastor handbook’ will dictate exactly what should be said and in what order. I prefer a more simple, fluid, personally derived liturgical moment - and that is the way we approach communion at Centerpoint Church. Here’s a step-by-step process for how to lead communion. 1. Choose a
for the communion moment.
The timeless truth of God’s word should anchor the communion moment. So, the first thing you should do is choose which communion scripture you will use as you lead communion. While you could choose almost any scripture relating to the forgiveness of sin, I think going to the more familiar communion passages is wise. I prefer 1 Corinthians 11:23-26. You could also choose 1 Corinthians 10:16-17; Matthew 26:26-29; John 6:53-54 or others. 2.
.
your communion moment and
your
Depending on the setting in which you are leading communion, you may have only a brief moment, or you may have several minutes. Assuming you have several minutes, you should plan how you will lead the communion moment and write out what you will say. A natural place to start would be to share some remarks based on the scripture that you are planning to read. For example, you could focus on the words from 1 Corinthians 11 about proclaiming the Lord’s death until he comes. You could draw focus to the glorious reality of the second coming of Christ. Or you could focus your remarks on the way Jesus took the bread and broke it… you could share about the brokenness that all of us encounter in this life - and how in the broken body of Jesus, given for us, we find wholeness. My suggestion would be that you write out one short paragraph. If you have a little more time for your communion moment, you could also write a short analogy or illustration. Keep in mind though, that this is a holy moment for encounter with God – too much storytelling and talking can shift the moment away from engagement with the presence of God. I would urge you to create a half-page document that you can easily carry in your Bible which you can use for reference. Please see my example of this in figure 1 below.
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3.
over the
before the service.
Whenever I am leading communion, if at all possible, I go into the worship center once communion has been set up, but before people come for church, and I pray over the communion elements. I lay my hands on the cool metal trays where the communion elements have been placed. I pray with gratitude for the sacrifice and love of Jesus that communion represents. I then also assume a priestly role and pray that these simple crackers and cups of juice would truly become for people the body and blood of Jesus. No, I do not believe that I am ‘transubstantiating’ the elements! But I am asking God to bring about the reality of His presence in a unique way through the moment of communion and the elements that the people will receive. I encourage you to do likewise. 4. Connect with the
and
about your moment.
In a purely functional sense, there is a flow or program in which your communion moment is taking place, if it is happening in a church service gathering. It is important that you do your ministry of leading communion in partnership with those who are leading worship and providing the technical production. Talk to the worship leader or music director about when the communion moment is going to happen. Agree together about how you will transition into the communion moment. Make sure you connect with the production people about which microphone you will use and whether you or they should turn it on. Tending to these programmatic details is important, because it allows the flow to be smooth, honoring, and distraction-free. 5. Step onto platform
your moment
.
For the moment of communion to truly be part of the worship flow, you should see yourself as part of the worship ministry for the purpose of leading communion. Practically speaking, you should take your position on the platform before the communion moment is supposed to begin. If you see yourself as part of the worship ministry, this shouldn’t be a problem. Step onto the platform while they are singing the chorus the last time or two. Stand with the worship team and engage in worship with them – but without singing into your microphone. Check your mic to be sure it’s on. Look out at the congregation and take in what you see. You are looking at sons and daughters of the most high God, disciples who are also becoming a royal priesthood. You are looking at some who are racked with guilt and shame. You are looking at others who have experienced pain and loss – while others have gotten great news and are ready to celebrate. Do not stand there with your eyes closed. Look at the community of God’s people; see the ones for whom Jesus has shared his blood, and allow your heart to sense his great love for them.
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PASTORING by John Hansen
6.
the moment.
You should already have determined with the worship leader or music director whether the worship leader is closing out the moment or whether you are picking up the moment as soon as the song ends. In most cases, it is best if the communion leader can pick up the moment as soon as the song ends. But before entering into leading communion, you should transition the moment from the adoration and praise that was taking place with the music. You might say something like, “Church, isn’t God good? Isn’t He great? His love is amazing! Let’s give Him thanks together; give Him praise and shout amen!” This simple moment accomplishes a number of things: first, it honors the fact that we have just been in a moment of adoration and praise, and shows that you personally value that. It allows you to shepherd people to continue their expression of adoration, but now with you as leader. It also gives the non-singing types a chance to participate by shouting their prayers of praise or their amen. Functionally, it allows the people to get used to a new shepherding leadership voice in this moment of worship, before the next element, communion, actually happens. 7.
Communion - say
.
Let people know that communion is about to take place. Keep in mind that there are people like Roland, whose story I briefly mentioned at the beginning of this chapter, who need to be given some insight as to what this moment is. You could simply say, “This morning we are celebrating communion together. In communion, as Christians who believe in Jesus, we get to remember the death and resurrection of Jesus, and we get to do it by coming to his table – the communion table – drinking the cup, and eating the bread the way he told us to.” Communion is intended to be an experience for people who believe in Jesus. I do not believe it is necessary to actively prohibit people from coming to the table, but even making the simple statement expressing that this moment is intended for believers does allow people to self-select non-participation if that description isn’t true of them. I believe that even those who are not yet Christians may encounter Jesus at his communion table if they come up, and so I do not try to dissuade or prohibit anybody from coming to his table. The scriptures that talk about taking communion in an unworthy manner have much more to do with the sinful attitude of a believer than it does with whether a person has passed a litmus test of faith. The passage cited, 1 Corinthians 11:27-29, is actually calling into question the hypocrisy of Christian believers, not the salvation or belief-status of a person.
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8. Share the
and your
.
The scripture from 1 Corinthians 11:23-26 has never failed to provide believers with a beautiful picture of just what communion is and why it matters. Of course, you can choose any scripture about forgiveness of sins or God‘s great sacrifice in Jesus… but there’s something so powerful about the simple truth conveyed in 1 Corinthians 11:23-26. Share the scripture with God’s people and let it be the cornerstone of the moment. If time permits and you have a sense of inspiration from your preparation, you can share your remarks about the meaning, impact, or revelation of the scripture as it pertains to communion. As you speak, let there be moments of pause and silence. People need some space to reflect - and God deserves the space to move! 9. Pray and invite people to .
,
or receive
The Lord’s table is a place for receiving His mercy. It is always appropriate to invite God’s people to pray and repent of any sins before coming to His table. You can remind God’s people that the purpose of repentance is not to feel guilty or ashamed, but actually to experience cleansing and refreshing. Invite people to repent, and leave some silence for that to happen. Or, lead a time of corporate repentance. You can pray a representational prayer, or you can ask people to repeat after you, or you could even choose one of the ancient prayers of the Christian church to have people pray together, as in the example below. Finally - invite people to receive salvation by putting their trust in Jesus and confessing faith in him. As I will share later in this chapter, there is a more comprehensive way to share the salvation message and invite a response - but in the communion moment, a very brief and simple invitation can be made if you feel led to do so. A PRAYER OF REPENTANCE - ANGLICAN BOOK OF COMMON PRAYER
Most merciful God,
we confess that we have sinned against you in thought, word, and deed, by what we have done, and by what we have left undone. We have not loved you with our whole heart; we have not loved our neighbors as ourselves. We are truly sorry and we humbly repent. For the sake of your Son Jesus Christ, have mercy on us and forgive us; that we may delight in your will, and walk in your ways, to the glory of your Name. Amen.
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PASTORING by John Hansen
10.
the communion team and give the
.
Finally, it is crucial that you give practical instruction to both the teams that serve in the communion moment and to the congregation. People who have been part of the church for a while may already know what to do. But guests, visitors, and newcomers need to know how communion is done in this setting, and what they should do. At Centerpoint church we have a communion team made up of volunteers who come to the front only at the direction of the person leading communion. We also have ushers, who are a different team, who dismiss the people row by row to come forward for communion. So, the first thing you should say is: “At this time I would like to invite our communion team to come forward to get ready to serve God‘s people.” As you see the communion team coming forward, you should now give instruction to the congregation. You should say, “Our ushers will dismiss you row by row to come forward. Come to the front, and take the cup and the bread and carry it with you back to your seat; please go the long way around and back into your row. Then, as the worship team leads this next song, you can individually eat the bread and drink the cup at your seat in your own time when you are ready. So let’s begin to celebrate communion together!”
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FIGURE 1:
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PASTORING by John Hansen
PART THREE: LEADING BAPTISM For 2000 years now, Christians have been baptized in many different ways all over the world. An ancient document called the didache has formed the general basis for the Christian approach to baptism, but the Bible itself does not give specific instructions. As a result, some people baptize in a river, or at the beach, or in a lake, or a backyard pool, while others baptize in a tank during the church service. Some carry out baptism with a mere sprinkling of water, while many others conduct baptism through full immersion in water. The historical record indicates that Jesus himself was baptized by immersion by John the Baptist, so generally speaking, this seems to be the logical best approach. However, this should not be done with a legalistic spirit. If someone is physically unable to be submerged in water, such as in a baptism tank, an alternate approach should be used without any reservation at all! 1. Help the person being baptized to
.
At Centerpoint church, we do a baptism class once a month in which we give the basic theological foundations for baptism. We teach people what baptism represents and why it is important. In our baptism class, we also help people articulate their testimony. We don’t ask every person being baptized to publicly share their testimony, but we want every person being baptized to be able to put their testimony briefly into words. We want them to be able to express for their own sake why they are being baptized. We ask people to write out a short testimony in which they share their story in four parts. First, what was life like before Jesus? Second, how did the person encounter Jesus? Third, what happened after coming to know Jesus and encountering his love and power? Finally, what is their Declaration of Faith? We provide a two-sided paper that helps guide them through the process of preparing these words. We do encourage them to reference any part that Centerpoint church played in their testimony. We want them to value the work of the Body of Christ they are part of, and to be able to put that into words. This is good for their spiritual journey. It is also good for the larger church body to be reminded of their collective value as a particular Body of Christ that is ministering effectively together. If you are going to baptize someone, you should help them understand why they are being baptized and assist them in articulating their testimony. Their testimony should give glory to Jesus and express a theologically sound declaration of faith. See figure 2 - 3 below for the example of the baptism testimony guide. 2. preparing your
your baptism moment by selecting a .
and
As the pastor or minister leading the baptism moment, you should prepare your flow. Choose a scripture that can succinctly help God’s people remember the purpose of baptism. I prefer Colossians 2:12. Another option is Romans 6:4. Prepare the remarks or comments you want to make about that verse and the meaning of the baptism moment. ~34~
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3. Connect with
leader, team about your moment.
coordinator, and
The precise details about leading baptisms will depend on your context. But at Centerpoint church, we have a baptism team facilitating the behind-the-scenes work that goes into the baptism moment. These are wonderful volunteers who take care of everything from setting up the baptismal tank, filling it with fresh water, ensuring that the water is filtered and chlorinated, setting up changing booths for the people being baptized, buying and organizing the extra shorts and towels that impromptu baptism candidates can use, to arranging who is going to be baptized in which services. They recruit a team of people to help with towels, set up and picture taking and they orient the people being baptized to the process and the practicalities of what to expect. You should gratefully appreciate this team! And you should check in with them before the service begins. Talk through the names of the people who are being baptized, and the general plan, even if it is the same plan that is often used. Let them know if you are changing up the approach at all. Thank them for their work and service in the Lord! Be sure to also connect with the tech team regarding any technical matters in the baptism moment. Confirm which microphone will be used, and confirm whether videography will be done and what that means for your direction of communication. Connect with the worship leader to determine when your spot is in the worship flow. Tending to these details will help the baptism experience to be a beautiful and enjoyable part of worship for everyone. 4. service begins
all baptism candidates and their families
the
Be sure to greet the individuals who are being baptized before the service begins. At Centerpoint Church, we ask them to come 15 or 20 minutes before the service so they have time to change into their baptism shirt. People usually invite family members and guests for their baptism, and you should introduce yourself to those people and give them a warm welcome. This may be one of their first experiences with the church of Jesus Christ! 5. Step onto the platform
your moment
.
As with communion, it is important that you step onto the platform before the baptism moment actually happens. Doing this will allow you to minimize disruption of the flow in worship. At Centerpoint Church, the pastor or minister leading baptism should privately invite the first person being baptized to come up onto the platform during the second half of the song before baptism. They lead the person up the side steps onto the platform and then invite the person being baptized to get into the tank so that baptism can happen soon after the song is done. At Centerpoint, we generally follow two approaches for baptism: in the first approach, after helping the baptism candidate to get into the tank, the minister walks out to the middle of the platform and, when the song is done, shares about baptism with the whole congregation before returning back to ~35~
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the baptism tank. In the second approach, the minister stays at the baptism tank, and does an abridged version of the baptism moment right at the tank, generally communicating through the camera and the screens, because the baptism tank is off to the side. We generally choose approach number two when the weekend service seems to be very full or likely to go long. 6. Transition the moment, intro remarks, and practical
, and share the
.
,
When this song ends, you should transition the moment with an acknowledgment and encouragement of the worship and praise that has been taking place. You could simply say something like, “Glory to God, He is so good, and His love is so unfailing!” Then, let people know that we are celebrating baptisms in this service. Read the scripture you have selected and briefly explain the meaning and power of baptism. You could then also invite others to be baptized, even if they missed the class. I do believe it’s best when a person can go through the baptism class and establish the theological foundation and personal testimony for their baptism. But, on the other hand, when a person has an opportunity to be baptized, it may be very important for their soul to be able to respond to the Holy Spirit’s prompting in the moment and be baptized. Give them the simple instruction to go to where the baptism team is. 7. If
appropriate
and
time .
permits,
ask
the
candidate
to
read
aloud
their
At Centerpoint Church, we ask at least one person being baptized to publicly share their testimony by reading what they wrote in the baptism testimony guide. We hold their own words on a clipboard for them to read from. One of our pastors and the baptism team have read through the testimonies and selected one that seems appropriate and God-glorifying. This allows them to share their testimony without our pastors wondering whether they are going to say something awkward or damaging. See Figure 2 -3 below for the Centerpoint Church Baptism Testimony guide. over candidate, if you have one.
8. Speak a brief
At Centerpoint Church, we do embrace the gifts of the spirit, and we look for opportunities to exercise gifts such as prophecy and words of knowledge. Baptism presents a wonderful opportunity to speak a prophetic word over a person’s life. If you are the pastor or minister leading baptism, just before you baptize the person, if you authentically are led by the Lord and if time in the service permits, you can speak a brief prophetic word to them. Generally, we do this privately, not on the microphone. You should not force it if you do not legitimately have a word from the Lord for the person’s life. But if you do, briefly share it directly to them! Be sure that you understand the overall service flow, how many people are being baptized, and how much time you have to work with. If the service is already going long, you will need to hold back on sharing the prophetic word in the moment - and instead, you can share the prophetic word with them after the service. ~36~
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9. Ask the confirmation the candidate, then baptize them!
, state the baptism
over
At this time, you should ask the person being baptized the question of confirmation. Simply ask them, “Do you confess your faith in Jesus Christ as your Savior and Lord? “ When they confirm their faith, then declare these words over them: “I baptize you in the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit!” Then, dunk them! With one hand behind their neck and the other hand holding their arm which is folded across their chest, dunk them into the water and then lift them back out of the water. At Centerpoint Church, our baptism team always has one person whose job is to use a towel to protect the modesty of the person when they stand up to get out of the baptism tank. Wet clothes and ill-fitting baptism shorts sometimes create an opportunity for a wardrobe malfunction. You should ensure that the towel person is ready and feels the confidence to step around the front of the tank to use that towel as a visual shield while the person awkwardly climbs out of the baptism tank in front of the congregation.
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FIGURE 2:
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FIGURE 3: SHARING YOUR BAPTISM TESTIMONY
You may be asked to share your baptism testimony at the time of your baptism. It is important that we honor the time - and for the weekend worship experience, a great baptism testimony should be conveyed in about 1-2 minutes. We would ask that you complete your testimony on this document in the following space that is provided - that way we know it will be just the right length! MY BAPTISM TESTIMONY:
Name: Date: BEFORE:
ENCOUNTER:
AFTER:
DECLARATION OF FAITH:
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GROUP DISCUSSION: 1. Share about the first time you experienced a sacrament - either as an observer or as a participant. What do you remember about the moment, and how did it impact you?
2. Discuss an aspect of the history of the sacraments that is surprising or meaningful to you.
3. Share about how communion personally blesses you - and why you love it.
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4. Share about a problem, concern, or pet peeve you have about communion.
5. Share about your own baptism. When were you baptized, by whom, and how did it impact you?
RESPONSE: Write a short paragraph of response related to this chapter’s teaching. 1. What makes a sacrament different from a ceremony?
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2. Choose a communion scripture and compose a 3-5 sentence comment for use in a communion moment.
3. Choose a Baptism scripture, and compose a 3-5 sentence comment for use in leading a Baptism moment.
4. Which step in the process of leading communion seems most challenging to you? Which step seems most fulfilling?
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5. Why is it important for a person being baptized to be able to articulate their testimony?
6. Choose either baptism or communion and address the following: What is the spiritual and theological significance of this sacrament, and what impact can it have in the life of the believer?
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PRACTICAL MINISTRY PASTORAL CARE ACTIVATION
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3
CULTIVATING AN EMPOWERMENT CULTURE
“The harvest is great, but the workers are few. So pray to the Lord who is in charge of the harvest; ask him to send more workers into his fields.” Luke 10:2
PASTORING by John Hansen
WHY DON’T YOU DO IT? When I was a college student, I did not have a car and had to ride my bike everywhere I went. I wanted to find a church that I could attend, and there happened to be one about a half a mile from my apartment. It was called Saint John the Divine Episcopal Church. I decided I’d go there. It was a small Church, with just about 100 people gathering for the Sunday service. It was an old school, high liturgy, priests-in-robes-and-hymns-and-organ kind of church. That’s the kind of church I grew up in, so I felt at home. After I had attended the church for a few weeks, I wanted to ask the pastor about the youth ministry in the church. The pastor, Claudia Kalis, was a down-to-earth, kind, wise woman who was very approachable. When I asked her about the church’s youth ministry, she said, “You know, our church doesn’t really have a youth ministry. But if you want to gather the teenagers and do something with them, that would be great. Why don’t you do it?” I had just wanted some information, but the church had a need, I had an interest, and so a ministry was born. I became the volunteer youth pastor of that church and that assignment was pivotal in my own sense of discernment of ministry calling. My experience in that church - being entrusted with ministry responsibilities - gave me a sense that I was truly part of that body. It allowed me to develop some gifts I didn’t know I had and make a difference in those students’ lives in Jesus’ name. Claudia Kalis served me well by giving me an opportunity to volunteer in the church. She wasn’t very deliberate about it, but nevertheless, it happened. She empowered me to engage and use my unformed gifts for God’s glory in the church. Really, all ministries should be environments of empowerment for volunteers. Pastors and ministers need to learn to proactively create a culture of empowerment and volunteer engagement; that is the biblical model for how ministry is meant to happen! This will require a specific kind of commitment as a leader, and that’s what this chapter is about: developing your own leadership ability for the purpose of establishing a culture of empowerment! PART ONE: ESTABLISHING A CULTURE OF EMPOWERMENT For many of us, when we think of ministry or pastoring, we probably envision a person on a platform giving a rousing message. Or maybe we imagine a person standing up before the congregation and leading communion or baptizing someone. Perhaps we think of a minister standing by the hospital bedside of a person while they struggle with illness. All of these are appropriate and fairly accurate representations of some aspects of pastoring, but any pastoral role in the church or in a ministry organization also includes leadership. ~46~
CHAPTER 3 — Cultivating an empowerment culture
As we have already covered, the word pastor conveys a metaphor of shepherding. At the core, a shepherd leads a flock. A shepherd doesn’t simply tend to one sheep only; he or she provides direction, organization, management, and orchestration for a group of sheep - often numbering in the hundreds. In a similar way, a minister or pastor leads people for the accomplishment of ministry. Any person who steps into a pastoral or ministry role should understand that leading and raising people up is central to the calling. 1. Embrace
for the minister’s role as an
.
When we think of church, the first thing that probably comes to our minds is the Sunday service. We can picture all the people standing, praying and singing praise to God, and then sitting, listening to the preacher share an inspiring message. But that moment we just envisioned is only a small part of what “church” is. The body of Christ is an organization that fulfills many purposes, and all of those purposes involve people. According to God’s word, the leaders of the church have a very specific calling, and it is expressed in Ephesians 4:11-13. Ephesians 4:11-13 NLT Now these are the gifts Christ gave to the church: the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, and the pastors and teachers. 12 Their responsibility is to equip God’s people to do his work and build up the church, the body of Christ. 13 This will continue until we all come to such unity in our faith and knowledge of God’s Son that we will be mature in the Lord, measuring up to the full and complete standard of Christ. God‘s vision is for the minister to be an equipper. We typically think of pastors and ministers as the ones who do the ministry. But God‘s idea is that pastors and ministers would equip God’s people to do His work and build up the church. As a pastor or minister, you will do plenty of ministry! But you must embrace that God‘s vision for your ministry role is not just that you would do ministry. It is that you would invest in many other people so that they could rise up into kingdom purpose and destiny, and do ministry also! in your ministry
2. Establish a
In whatever ministry you lead, whether it is a whole church, a department, or a team or group, it is crucial that you establish a culture of volunteerism. People in your ministry need to get the sense that volunteering or serving is the norm. The basic consumerist tendencies of our society leave people conditioned to consume rather than contribute. I find that people are willing to contribute and serve, but they need to experience a culture in your ministry that pushes beyond the consumer tendencies and helps them take that step. You must talk about the value of volunteering and celebrate the people who do willingly give of their time and energy to step up and serve. Culture consists of shared beliefs, values, and behaviors. To establish a volunteer culture, you must communicate those beliefs and values consistently, and then reinforce them through affirmation. ~47~
PASTORING by John Hansen
Teach on the biblical principle of serving; model a spirit of servanthood; celebrate the volunteers that go above and beyond to fulfill the ministry. If your ministry grows, resist the urge to hire people. Think volunteers, not staff. Let your first move be to ask a person to volunteer, even for what seems like a big role. If you are part of a larger ministry such as Centerpoint Church, do not assume that the church has plenty of funds to just hire another person. Instead, assume that your responsibility is to create and contribute to a volunteer culture - and that means personally committing to asking people to volunteer. 3. Embrace the
principle
If you are like most people, you got your start in ministry through a willingness to serve. Maybe you were the one who was willing to stay late to stack the chairs, or come early to set up the room… your humble servant-hearted manner helped the ministry flourish. It is wonderful that you have personally served in any way to build up the body of Christ. But as you grow in ministry, you must learn the “do-through” principle. Leadership is about getting things done through the cooperative efforts of other people who you have motivated and inspired to take action. As a pastor, you must embrace this, and look for every opportunity to see that ministry gets done through other people. There is a progression of leadership ability that a pastor must grow through, and it involves mastering the do-through principle. Author Tony Morgan from the Unstuck Group personally shared with me his L1-L5 pastoral leadership capacity assessment rubric, and it is a helpful lens to assess anyone’s do-through ability. L1 leaders do - they are great people, and they have a heart to serve; they are not leading people. An L1 leader needs to take a step in learning to help others get better at doing. L2 leaders lead themselves very well, and they set a great doing example, and they might lead a very small number of people. L2 leaders need to take the step of learning to replicate themselves. L3 leaders have begun to learn and carry out management skills, and they lead other people. L3 leaders need to take the step of learning to lead other leaders. L4 leaders have mastered management and are now also truly providing directive leadership to other leaders that they have raised up. The L4 leader’s next step is to learn to influence beyond their direct reports. L5 leaders lead through vision and operate from a place of egoless clarity. The L5’s challenge is to learn to release and launch people into destiny and opportunity beyond the L5’s current place. Tony Morgan consults with churches all across the nation and has helped hundreds of churches catch a vision to grow. Tony shared with me that he felt our staff had too many L1’s and L2’s and that in fact, we needed to resolve to never hire L1’s or L2’s. He stated that in the healthiest churches he coaches, staff people are only L3’s or above. I’ve taken his advice to heart - and I’m committed to only bringing people onto the staff who have a demonstrated track record of L3 ability and up. This is the only way to expand or multiply the ministry. A pastor needs to see it as part of her or his responsibility to guide people through these levels of leadership capacity. But first, the pastor must embrace the challenge themselves. At the core, it is a matter of living out the do-through principle. Learn to do ministry through others. By doing so, you will be creating ~48~
CHAPTER 3 — Cultivating an empowerment culture
a culture of empowerment that fulfills the Ephesians 4:11 mandate. Further, you will be giving countless individuals an opportunity to experience the blessing of being part of the work of God in the earth! 4.
to do the work of ministry
When you read through the Gospels, it is so exciting to see those earthshaking moments when Jesus comes on the scene to do his Jesus thing… a legion of demons defeated in a moment at the Gerasene shore… ten men with leprosy, instantly healed… a crowd of 5,000 miraculously fed, and more. But every pastor should take note of the fact that the first thing Jesus did was to recruit disciples who would follow him and learn from him. His ultimate goal was to leave the ministry completely and entirely in their hands. But before that could happen, he had to give them plenty of opportunities to also do the work while he was there to debrief it with them. Read Matthew chapter 10 for a key example of this. In a way, Jesus was modeling what a pastor must do. A pastor must raise up others to do the work of ministry. That is the Jesus way! 5.
and train
to multiply the ministry
Often times in ministry, we are keenly aware of volunteer leadership roles that are vacant. We recognize that we desperately need somebody to take that vacant leadership role and assume responsibility for that area of ministry. Unfortunately, the pattern in many ministries and churches is to find a nice person who is willing, and we give them the leadership position. They then do an L1 kind of job with the position, because either they don’t have an actual leadership gifting, or because we have not trained them in leadership. So their default is to simply do the ministry rather than lead others to do the ministry. As a pastor who needs leaders in leadership positions, you must train yourself to be looking for people who actually have leadership capacity and gifting, rather than just looking for who is available and has the ability to personally do the ministry. Some people think they are leaders, but they’re not. They want to be given a leadership platform or title, or they feel sympathetic for the need the church has and they’re willing to help. In either case, it is not good to give a leadership position to a person who does not have leadership capacity. Not everyone can get to the L4 or L5 level of leadership. However, most people can grow beyond L1. Pastor, it is your job to help them grow in that way. Train them! But also, you should learn to look for people who truly have a leadership gift. If someone has a leadership gift, people are following them already! A lot of times, they are not leading in the church yet, but they are leading in the world, in their work life, in their business, in their children’s activities… one of the easiest ways to find a leader is to simply watch people between the services at church. See how many people are responding to a person. Leaders always step up and lead, even in conversations about where the group will go for lunch! Be on the lookout for leaders! ~49~
PASTORING by John Hansen
6. Do not
!
; awaken
and activate
Our default is to fill the empty box, so to speak. We have a role, and we are thinking about asking some person to fill it. This is a faulty starting point. Every person has a dream deep inside of being engaged in something that matters and doing something impactful. They might not put it into words, but they crave an opportunity to experience significance in God‘s kingdom. The fact is, serving the mission of Jesus Christ in this world is one of the most impactful and significant things a person can do. As a pastor, you need to see it that way! And you need to convey it that way. 1 Corinthians 12 describes the church as a body, a body that has all the parts. The implication is that all the people that are needed are there already. We just need to get better at engaging relationally with each other so that we can see the dreams and capacities that are in the people in the body. We need to learn to discern, “Who is this person, how has God designed them, and how can I awaken the dream for serving God that is within them, and help them find a fulfilling way to serve him anywhere in this church?” This does not mean that our responsibility is to facilitate whatever type of ministry a person has a dream of doing. If you are a pastor, you are part of a church that already has a specific ministry calling and vision; but you can help awaken the dream within people for serving God and extending His Kingdom - and then direct them into the things the church is doing where they can make a difference and have a great impact. 7. Develop a
culture for recruiting volunteers
Many of us have been in a church service where someone gets up on the platform and says something to the effect of, “Our poor children’s ministry is really in trouble. We just don’t have enough people involved. We really need more volunteers, or else we might not even be able to have children’s ministry in the other service. If you would be willing at all, could you sign up after service today?” A moment like that is so completely uninspiring, and it is also ineffective. The people who respond to a cattle call like that have usually done so out of guilt and pressure, not out of passion or purpose. What is best is to simply engage in some good old-fashioned shoulder tapping. What this looks like is simply talking to people face-to-face and letting them know about how fun, exciting, and impactful it is serving in a certain ministry area, and asking them to join that team. It’s up close, it’s personal, it’s organic, and it’s inspiring. As the pastor, you can do a little bit of shoulder tapping, but what is best is if you can motivate people who are already volunteering in the ministry to do the shoulder tapping. You might even incentivize this kind of shoulder tapping culture by offering a small gift for whoever involves the most new volunteers through shoulder tapping. ~50~
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8. Have
conversations and make the ask
As a pastor, minister or leader, you have a unique position of influence, and you should use it to help draw out the potential and God’s people. You can do this through an ‘I see in you’ (icnu) conversation. To carry out an icnu conversation, take a person out to coffee or lunch and share about the vision of the ministry area. Let them know about the great future that could be possible, and the kingdom impact that could be carried out. Acknowledge that you personally don’t have the skills, time, or abilities to get the church or the ministry there, but that you think they do. Say to them, “I see in you the abilities, skills, and talents to get us where we need to go in this ministry. Would you be willing to give of yourself to see this God-honoring vision come to be?” What you’re really saying is icnu - “It Can Now be Unleashed in and through your life!” Too many pastors and ministry leaders have gotten lazy about how they’re asking people to serve. Mass emails, Facebook plea messages, automated blanket texts… these are lazy approaches. Jesus modeled making the ask personal. He looked at the disciples and said, “Will you follow me?” My hunch is that the conversation was probably longer than that. I can imagine them asking, “Follow you where?” and I can imagine Jesus describing the glorious and powerful future of the kingdom of God that they would be engaged with. Jesus made the ask personal, inspiring, and powerful. Do likewise. 9. Give
training to help people
When you invite someone into a ministry role, you need to give them training. But you also need to acknowledge that everyone is busy! If they are volunteering, they probably also have a full-time job in the marketplace or a full-time job as a parent and homemaker. If your solution for training people requires an additional long training meeting, it is likely to exasperate your volunteers. Many of us have been to meetings like that, and they have felt like a waste of time. The meeting started 15 minutes late because the leader wanted to wait for the late-comers. Then, the material that was presented was unhelpful - and it was the kind of thing that could have been sent in an email. Most of us would rather not come to a meeting like that! The best solution is to provide on the job training, or a combination of on the job training and video-based training. and the
10. Let your on the job training include the
As a pastor or leader, you need to prepare your training by defining what the actual outcomes need to be. If you feel it would take an hour to train people, break it up into 15 minutes segments. You can either record a brief video - even just with your phone uploaded to a youtube channel - or do it in person. In a larger church such as Centerpoint, there may be a video department that can assist with this. Alternatively, have people come 15 minutes early when they are scheduled to serve, and carry out the vips model. Vision, Information, Prayer, Stories. First, give the person a sense for the vision of the church and vision for how the specific ministry they will be doing connects to ~51~
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the larger vision of the church. Use the church’s mission statement and paint a picture of how this role fits into that. Next, give the person the information about how to do the steps of the ministry that you are expecting of them. That information should include the bda’s: the before, the during, and the after aspects of the expectations. What preparation do they need to do before the ministry time? What specific actions, values or engagements do they need to carry out during the ministry time? And what responsibility do they have after the ministry time? And then, pray together for the specific ministry or event, reinforcing that what we are doing we are doing for Jesus, and we do as unto Jesus! Also, pray for the volunteer personally, so they know they are personally cared for. Lastly, the person doing the training, whether it is you, as the pastor, or a designated leader, should share a story of life change that has recently happened in the church. That helps further establish the beauty and wonder of being part of something of eternal purpose and impact. in what you do
11. Whenever possible, let others get
In many sports, stats are kept and celebrated for many things other than just who scored. For example, in basketball, who got the assist is always noted. Everyone recognizes that the assist is an essential part of how points are won. In ministry, it is crucial to give credit to anyone for their assist. If ten new group leaders were trained, the group’s pastor should not take the credit for that win. The group’s pastor should give credit to the small group leaders who found new apprentice leaders; they gave the assist, and they deserve to be honored for it. PART TWO: BIBLICAL FOUNDATION FOR LEADERSHIP DEVELOPMENT Enjoy the harvest! There are certain seasons in pastoral ministry when the seeds that have been planted for many years are growing and the harvest is plentiful. Those are the times that we yearn for! Acts 1:7 records a season like that in this way: “So God’s message continued to spread. The number of believers greatly increased in Jerusalem, and many of the Jewish priests were converted, too.” When you read that, you should feel encouraged because the scriptures are painting a picture of a kingdom reality that can be yours as you minister. Sometimes people see a fruitful season, like the one recorded in Acts 1:6, and their comment is, ‘It was all God!’. In my experience in 25 years of ministry, it is rarely ever all God. In fact I have never observed it to be ‘all God’ - and I regard that as an unbiblical notion offered by people who have not disciplined themselves to reflect more thoughtfully. Seasons of great harvest and ministry fruitfulness are usually the result of godly people who have been working smart and working hard, while also praying and experiencing anointing and favor from God. Just a few chapters later in the book of Acts, a moment is recorded that describes the need for people to be raised up who can work hard and work smart, with anointing and favor, to bring about fruitful kingdom harvest. ~52~
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Acts 6:1-4 NLT “But as the believers rapidly multiplied, there were rumblings of discontent. The Greek-speaking believers complained about the Hebrew-speaking believers, saying that their widows were being discriminated against in the daily distribution of food. So the Twelve called a meeting of all the believers. They said, “We apostles should spend our time teaching the word of God, not running a food program. And so, brothers, select seven men who are well respected and are full of the Spirit and wisdom. We will give them this responsibility. Then we apostles can spend our time in prayer and teaching the word.” An empowering leader’s resolve: From this brief passage, there are several revelations about what a pastor or leader’s resolve should be. The goal is to lead as a pastor or minister so that a season of fruitful ministry harvest can happen. These eight resolves will help you get there. 1.
exist because
exist
We often glorify the early church as though it is this “rainbows and unicorns” kind of utopia. But when you read the Bible, you find that’s not the case. One phrase in the passage describing the early church says “…there were rumblings of discontent”. People were complaining, and it was because there were problems. But here’s the reality: if there were no problems and no uncertainty, leaders would not be needed. As I have already made clear, pastors are leaders. And leaders exist because problems exist. Your calling as a minister or pastor includes solving organizational problems! You need to embrace this at a very deep level. Problems can sometimes make us want to quit - but problems are why we’re here! When a problem arises, you need to say to yourself, “I’m a leader, and I was made for this!”. 2. It’s not God’s plan for The problem that these early church believers were experiencing required a solution. In short, more ministry needed to be done. But what happened is that the twelve leaders of the church called the meeting and they acknowledged that it was not God‘s plan for them to do all of the ministering. They recognized that there were certain aspects of ministry that they simply had to give their attention to, while many other aspects of ministry could be carried out by others. They knew that it was not God‘s plan for them to do it all. You must embrace this truth. Do not try to be the hero who does it all. Even the twelve apostles, eleven of whom had literally walked with Jesus all over Israel determined that they could not be the heroes who do it all. First of all, if you try to do it all personally, you will hit the wall. You will experience burn out, and that is not what God wants for you. Your job is not to do everything; you must know your limitations and acknowledge them. Second of all, in an empowerment culture, part of your core responsibility is to give opportunities to serve to others, so embrace this crucial resolve! ~53~
PASTORING by John Hansen
3. It is God’s plan for it all In Acts chapter 6, when people begin complaining and expressing their discontent, the apostles could have simply said, “We are at our limit, therefore no more ministry will happen.” But this was not their response. Pastors and leaders with God’s heart know that the correct conclusion is not limiting the ministry. They know that the correct conclusion is multiplying the ministers. You should embrace this resolve that it is God‘s plan for it all to get done. There may need to be some rearranging, there might need to be some new orchestration, management, people or processes; this might take some time, but pastors and ministers with God’s heart look for the ways that the ministry can all get done. 4. God’s plan for me is to
and workers
As the apostles thought through the problem, they discerned the solution that God had in mind. It was probably difficult for them to share the news that they would no longer be personally running the food program. No doubt there were brothers and sisters in that early church that felt disappointed and let down. They loved seeing Thomas, doubts and all, there serving the bread. This announcement and the change it implied probably felt like a loss to them. But the apostles knew that what they must do is raise up leaders and workers for the ministry. In verse three they share that thought and express that they will give responsibility for ministry to others. As a pastor or minister, this is the greatest contribution you can make: raise up leaders and workers for the ministry! Capable, prepared, godly leaders and workers for the ministry don’t just magically appear. They must be intentionally developed and raised up. To be an effective pastor, you must embrace this resolve that God‘s plan for you is to raise up leaders and workers for His kingdom work! 5. I create
where
can grow
As recorded in Acts 6:3, the apostles determined that people needed to be selected who were respected, full of the Holy Spirit, and full of wisdom. How do you get a crop of people that are respected, full of the Holy Spirit, and full of wisdom? First of all, you should understand that those are fruits of effective discipleship. First and foremost, your church or ministry must be providing consistent and effective discipleship. That is essential for any healthy ministry or church. Being respected is the result of having been discipled. Being full of the Spirit is the result of having been led in encounter and supernatural activation. Being full of wisdom is the result of having been trained and given opportunities to try. As a pastor, you must embrace the challenge to create environments where wisdom can grow. Create classes and seminars where leaders can gain new skills. Provide books, articles, and videos that can help your people gain wisdom. Do ongoing training in the meetings that are already
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scheduled; in those times, teach new skills and have people role-play and do exercises to learn the skills. Take your team to workshops or conferences where they can get exposure to the training they need. All of this will help them grow in wisdom. 6. I create happen!
where experience of
can
It is a sad fact that in many churches the Holy Spirit is rarely mentioned or experienced. Even more tragically, leaders are raised up in such churches that do not have any experience with the Holy Spirit. Yet the scriptures provide a template for raising people up that includes the fullness of the Holy Spirit as a prerequisite to leadership. If you are going to lead a ministry where people can be raised up who are full of the Spirit, you need to create environments where Holy Spirit fullness can be experienced. Craft moments into your events and team environments where activation in the fullness of the Spirit can happen. Create gathering times where activation and experience in the Holy Spirit can be the focus. At Centerpoint Church, we accomplish this through Seek Nights, Encounter Nights, Seek Week, prophetic training, prophetic ministry, and Saturday morning prayer. We have these environments so that God’s people can experience fullness in the Holy Spirit. That way, when we need to raise leaders up, we have a large pool of people who are experiencing the kingdom beauty of fullness in the Spirit already. 7. I
who can serve and
them to do so
Passivity is not regarded as much of a virtue and it can actually be a great hindrance to fruitful ministry. By nature, a pastor should not be passive. When it comes to raising people up for ministry, the last thing in the world you should do is just passively wait for people to come to you. The apostles directed other leaders to actively select seven people who could serve. This is the model. It is a picture of proactivity! As a pastor or minister, you must embrace this biblical model of proactively selecting people who can serve. You must follow it up with what the apostles did: they gave them the responsibility. When you select a person to do ministry of any kind, you cannot just give them tasks to do. You need to give them responsibility and authority for the outcome that you are envisioning, not just the tasks you need doing. In a healthy empowerment culture, people know that they have been given responsibility and authority. If people sense that they are just doing tasks, they know they are not actually empowered. Embrace this resolve that includes real empowerment! The way responsibility is given also matters. As the scene in Acts chapter 6 unfolds, a beautiful moment takes place in which the conferral of responsibility and authority takes place: ~55~
PASTORING by John Hansen
Acts 6:5-7 NLT Everyone liked this idea, and they chose the following: Stephen (a man full of faith and the Holy Spirit), Philip, Procorus, Nicanor, Timon, Parmenas, and Nicolas of Antioch (an earlier convert to the Jewish faith). These seven were presented to the apostles, who prayed for them as they laid their hands on them.7 So God’s message continued to spread. The number of believers greatly increased in Jerusalem, and many of the Jewish priests were converted, too. 8. I create and leaders!
of spiritual
where I
volunteers
Too often, pastors and ministers ask people to serve, and when they do, how the whole affair begins is totally unremarkable. The person just sort of shows up one day to start doing their thing - and that’s it. The Scriptures paint a much better picture of what the experience should be when a person begins their volunteer leadership or serving journey. Acts 6:5-7 describes a time of commissioning. First, the new ministry leaders were presented; people knew their name and a few things about them. It was a public moment, a presentation that the larger gathering was able to be part of. Next, the apostles prayed for them. They also put their hands on them as they prayed over them. Through this wonderful moment, new volunteers and leaders were commissioned into kingdom work, and the results speak for themselves. Acts 6:7 describes the number of believers greatly increasing in Jerusalem. That is the impact of raising and releasing new leaders into ministry! Can you imagine how wonderful it would be if volunteers and leaders were celebrated and commissioned like that when they begin their service? As a pastor or leader, this is your responsibility. Create atmospheres of spiritual blessing where you can commission volunteers and leaders! Present your people! Pray for your people! Put your hands on them! Declare over them that you give them responsibility and authority to do this particular aspect of the Jesus mission, and then trust God for a fruitfulness like that described in Acts 6:7!
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GROUP DISCUSSION: 1. Share about how you first started serving in any way in a ministry - and how you felt about the experience. Why did you start? How were you equipped?
2. Discuss one aspect of the history of the sacraments that is surprising or meaningful to you.
3. Thinking about the big picture, why does it matter to create a culture of empowerment in a church or ministry? What would happen if you didn’t? How does money have anything to do with this?
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4. Why is it hard to embrace the do-through principle? What challenges do you need to overcome in order to embrace it more?
5. Why is it crucial to go beyond just ‘filling roles’ in ministry? What are some tools you’ve learned for going beyond filling roles?
RESPONSE: Write a short paragraph of response related to this chapter’s teaching. 1. Read Matthew 10:1-42 and share four observations about how Jesus raised people up for ministry.
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2. Describe what an icnu conversation is, and why it matters.
3. Share what you’ve learned in this chapter about how to do simple, straightforward training for people getting involved in a ministry.
4. Which step in the process of leading communion seems most challenging to you? Which step seems most fulfilling?
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5. Explain why pastors are leaders and why ministry leaders exist.
6. Express three of the empowering leader’s resolves, why they matter, and how they tie into scripture.
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EMPOWERING CULTURE ACTIVATION
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4
WEDDINGS
“On the third day a wedding took place at Cana in Galilee. Jesus’ mother was there, and Jesus and his disciples had also been invited to the wedding.” John 2:1
PASTORING by John Hansen
JOE AND PAULA’S WEDDING When I first became a pastor, I was serving as the worship and youth pastor of Hope Community Church in Santa Barbara. Most of my relationships in the church were with people that were part of the worship ministry or the youth ministry. Joe was a bass player who made his living playing bass in bands at bars six nights a week. On Sundays, “Smokin’ Joe” (a nickname that described what he did in the parking lot between services) played bass on the Hope worship team. Paula was a young computer industry worker who ran ProPresenter for the church - and was part of the worship ministry. Joe and Paula were both in their 40’s, and both were eager to find that special someone they could spend their lives with. Long story short, Joe and Paula fell in love. After dating for a brief time, Joe and Paula got engaged. They met with me after worship practice one Saturday afternoon and shared the news that Joe had popped the question. They also popped the question to me… they asked if I would be willing to do their wedding. I was so glad for the two of them that they had found each other, and I was excited that they were now engaged. I was also very honored that they would ask me to do the wedding, and I said, “Yes, absolutely!” The only problem was that I had never done a wedding before, so I had no idea what I was doing. I was still a student at Fuller Theological Seminary - and for all the wonderful things I learned there, how to do a wedding was not one of them. Joe and Paula had already set the date for the wedding, and it was just weeks away. I told them I thought they should get some pre-marital counseling. They asked what that was, and I told them I wasn’t really sure what it was, but that I had heard it’s what you’re supposed to do before you get married. How’s that for a profound pastoral answer! We met together one time, and we came up with a basic plan for their wedding. Essentially, I used the plan that I had from my wedding (which had been recent), because it was the only plan I knew! The day of the wedding rehearsal came, and I went to the outdoor amphitheater of Ellings Park, the public park grounds where they were holding their ceremony. All of the bridal party people started showing up, family members started showing up, and everyone was standing around in this park waiting for the 4pm rehearsal to begin. Finally, at about 4:20, Joe came up to me and whispered, “So, uh, aren’t you supposed to do something here, and get us rehearsing?” I had no idea how any of this worked. I did my best to remember what happened at my own wedding rehearsal, and I asked everybody to line up. The problem was, I put the bridesmaids all on my left side, and the groomsmen on my right side… of course that is not the right staging! I stumbled through the rest of the rehearsal and basically figured it out as I went along. The next day, the ceremony took place, and it was beautiful, and everybody enjoyed the ceremony. I do think the experience could have been much better for Joe and Paula if I had actually had a clue about what I was doing! Motivated by my own initial lack of a clue, in this chapter, I want to teach you about why marriage matters, and how to officiate a wedding like a boss! ~64~
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PART ONE: A BRIEF THEOLOGY OF MATRIMONY Marriage matters. All around the world, for thousands of years, in a myriad of different ways, men and women have been getting married and living out a pledge of commitment to one another in what we call matrimony in English. Marriage is regarded as the oldest human institution, and it is at the very core of a healthy societal structure. All of the major world religions have a specific theological construct that elevates the value of marriage, with rituals and ceremonies for solemnizing a marriage. For Christians, marriage is an incredibly important union - one the scriptures describe in specific ways, and one that Jesus affirmed. Let’s begin with a definition of marriage. 1. Definition of marriage: Christian marriage is the and
, in holy love.
between
Much more can be said about what marriage is, and in these few pages I will say more. But at the core, this is what marriage is: a union between one man and one woman who are united in holy love. It is a union that is exclusive and intimate. It is a union that is at its best when the sacred glue of divine presence is present. In this workbook, I do not have the time and space to fully explore why Christian marriage is specifically the union of a man and a woman. I am not making any political statement here either. People outside of the church may determine whatever the civic community consensus would like to determine regarding marriage or civil union, how to define it, and who it applies to. My definition is specifically a Christian definition of marriage for use in the Church, and one that assumes a high regard for God’s word as the ultimate source of authority. The scriptures simply do not express anything about marriage except in terms of it being the union of a man and a woman. This concept originates in Genesis, is repeated by Jesus in the Gospels, and affirmed by the apostle Paul in the book of Ephesians. I embrace that reality, and I embrace my calling as a pastor to teach that reality. This certainly carries implications. I would not officiate a ceremony or solemnize marriage vows between two people of the same sex. That would simply be beyond what I feel authorized by God to do as a Christian pastor. It would also be a violation of my ordination vows as an Elder of the Free Methodist Church, to which I am accountable. 2. Christian marriage reflects the
for humanity
and points to God’s
The Bible begins with the creation story in Genesis 1: “The earth was formless and void, and the Spirit of God hovered over the surface of the deep… then God created everything, and on the sixth day, after creating all of the animals, God said, “…let us make human beings in our image…” Genesis 1:27 states, “So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of ~65~
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God he created them; male and female he created them.” God gave male and female humanity charge over all the earth, with the mandate to be fruitful and multiply. In Genesis 2, the more familiar story of the Garden of Eden unfolds. God placed the man He had made into the garden. God saw that he was alone, and determined that that was not good. God then decided to make a helper that would be just right for him. As the scripture describes, God made a woman from the rib of the man, and when he saw her, the man said, “…this one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh!” (Genesis 2:23) Part of the beauty of the union between a man and a woman in marriage is that it reflects the nature of God. While Jesus revealed to us a relationship with God as our Father, it should be made clear that God is not male. The words from Genesis 1 elucidate this fact. For the image of God to be fully expressed, both male and female need to be seen. Humankind is made in the image of God, so we should be able to see to some degree what God is like in a human being. However, only in the oneness of marriage between a man and a woman can the fullness of the very identity of God be revealed. Marriage between a man and a woman also points back to that garden experience where the two are one and live out an impactful, fruitful, powerful life of destiny and purpose. 3. Christian marriage portrays the - and the Bridegroom,
between the Bride of Christ -
Marriage is a living metaphor. Ephesians 5:21-33 describes the relationship between a husband and a wife as one that mirrors the relationship between Christ and the Church. The relationship is marked by two supreme expressions: love and respect. Jesus pours out His life and His love for the Church. In response, the Church pours out its respect and praise to Jesus Christ. An ideally healthy marriage is one where those two supreme values are mutually lived out. There is a unique calling for a husband to stand ready to love in a self-sacrificial way as Jesus did. There is an equally unique calling for a wife to respond in admiration and respect for her husband. Even if one ascribes to an egalitarian model of marriage, the scriptures are clear in these unique, distinct directives to husbands and wives. 4. Christian marriage is designed to flourish as the two a love that and
and live out that oneness
When I stand with a couple at the altar and officiate their marriage ceremony, I marvel at the wonder of the moment when they exchange their vows and rings. I don’t know exactly at what moment God does it, but He makes them one, and I have a front row seat. It is a supernatural joining into oneness, and it is exactly what God ordained. In Mark 10:7, Jesus speaks about marriage in response to a question about divorce and says, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. They are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together let no one separate.“ ~66~
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The oneness which God establishes between two people through holy matrimony is something that must be supported and protected by love. The man and the woman who have become one must learn to choose to live out a godly love for one another that will nourish that oneness. That love must come primarily in the form of meeting the very real needs of one another. And that oneness must be protected by a choice to honor the exclusivity of the relationship. In the same way that Jesus said He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life, and that no one comes to the Father except through Him, a husband and wife must also be exclusive with one another. 5. Christian marriage thrives when
is experienced and
The supernatural oneness that God brings about is one thing; the natural intimacy that a marriage needs to thrive is something that the man and woman must choose. A marriage must be built on a foundation of intimacy at every level. Relational intimacy is the choice to prioritize deepening the relationship with one’s spouse. Emotional intimacy is the choice to be emotionally present and fluid in a trusting expression and sharing of feelings with the spouse. Sexual intimacy is the essential choice to engage in the shared pleasure of sexual fulfillment in a way that is mutually satisfying, and in a way that meets each spouse’s needs in terms of frequency and quality. All of these facets of intimacy must be intentionally cultivated so that the marriage bond will be healthy. 6. Christian marriage should bring also bring
challenges
to each spouse, but it will
Over the years I have officiated a lot of weddings. Inevitably, I ask each person why they wanted to marry the other. They usually say something to the effect of, “…because she is amazing and she makes me so happy.” I am always glad to hear that people feel this way about the person they are about to marry. It would be kind of bizarre if they didn’t! There should be something about the person you are marrying that would allow you to feel deeply satisfied. At the same time, satisfaction is not God’s ultimate aim for any person’s life - sanctification is. The implication is that God may allow a marriage to have seasons of deep satisfaction, but He also may allow a marriage to have times where it is a tool that will bring about sanctification. Sanctification usually includes a direct challenge to our selfishness - and marriage absolutely will challenge a person’s selfishness. To the degree that a person can give up selfishness and be selfless in love and the pursuit of intimacy and oneness, to that degree sanctification is being accomplished in and through the marriage. It is important that a couple getting married have an appropriate expectation that marriage will provide opportunities for both great satisfaction, and for growth in sanctification. ~67~
PASTORING by John Hansen
PART TWO: HOW TO PASTOR A WEDDING CEREMONY 1. Provide
for the couple
A couple that is about to get married needs guidance and input; the more traditional term that is used to describe such guidance is premarital counseling, but I prefer to call it training. The term counseling implies that there is a problem, whereas training implies there is an adventurous challenge ahead. Whether you conduct counseling or training, it is an important step for a couple to take before getting married. Before the wedding, there is an increased sense of openness to work on things that may need to be worked on so that the marriage can be healthy. As a pastor who is going to officiate a wedding ceremony, you should see to it that the couple is able to get some form of premarital counseling or premarital training. A good premarital training experience will help them to identify any possible compatibility issues or family of origin issues that either of them might have. A. heart
with couple personally with a prayerful,
If possible, you should plan to be the one who will meet with the couple personally to process the premarital training. Have a prayerful, discerning heart as you guide a couple in this stage of their journey. There are times when you may discern that a couple is truly not suited for each other, even though they’re planning to get married. As hard as it might be, it would be helpful for them to receive that input from you as a trusted, loving pastor. Further, you may not discern that they are ill-suited for each other, but you may discern that there are certain key issues they have not yet begun to be honest about. Guide them into a deeper process regarding those issues. B. Use resources such as saving your marriage before it starts book and workbooks by L. Parrott or “Before You Say I Do� by H. Norman Wright You should familiarize yourself with these two resources and others that you can utilize in premarital training with couples. In some churches, there is a marriage ministry that also helps carry out premarital training. Nevertheless, as a pastor or minister getting ready to officiate a wedding, you should personally guide the process of premarital training for the couple. In the end, you are the one who will stand there at the altar with them and pronounce them husband and wife. It would be good for you to be able to do so knowing that you have given them the best shot you could at having a truly healthy and positive marital connection. A good basic format for your premarital training sessions would be to talk through one chapter or section of a book for each meeting. If you have a limited amount of time, you could combine chapters, and cover two chapters in one meeting. Essentially, the subjects that a couple needs to address and talk about are: finances, sex life, fighting styles, communication skills, and ~68~
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basic life rhythm issues. Each person brings expectations for these things into the marriage. It is best if both people have an opportunity to express those expectations before the wedding happens. As a pastor doing premarital training, your job is to guide them in assessing whether the expectations are realistic or need to be adjusted. 2. Meet with the couple to determine the wedding Either at one of the premarital training meetings with a couple or at an additional meeting after the premarital training, you should meet with the couple to plan the actual ceremony. The likelihood is that the couple or their family members are investing a ton of money in this one day. You play a crucial role in helping to facilitate a beautiful wedding, and that all starts with having a plan that everyone agrees on. A. Provide a suggested ceremony While there is no specific biblical requirement for how a wedding should be carried out, there are some time tested traditions and patterns that are worth considering. The couple may have already thought through exactly what they want their wedding ceremony to be like. However, most of the time this is not the case. They are relying on you, or a wedding coordinator, to help them create the perfect ceremony. You should provide them with a suggested template, and then walk through the flow in the template together choosing which items to keep or take out or adjust. See figure 1 for an example of this. I like to provide a template which includes the vows so that the couple can read those words and get their hearts around them. B. Review
and
requirements
Make sure you have a conversation with the couple regarding what you should wear as the officiating pastor. After all, you are going to be in their lifelong wedding photos. In particular, share what you plan to wear and ask if that seems acceptable to them. Also ask them to provide you with any details or requirements about the location. Whether it is going to be at a wedding venue, a local church building, or on a particular beach, find out all you can about the location. C. Discuss ceremony expectations regarding
, message, and
Every couple has a different idea about whether there should be worship music and what kind of tone the message should have. Ask them what their expectations are for how long the message should be. Some couples want an actual full-length sermon. Other couples would actually like a three minute ‘get-it-over-with’ talk. Most couples prefer something in between. These days, a wedding is not meant to be a church service in most instances. This is especially true if the wedding is outside. People will have been waiting in the hot sun or other weather conditions, and are eager to get on with things. I find that a decent message that takes about 15 minutes, including telling their love story, is more than enough. ~69~
PASTORING by John Hansen
D. Capture the essence of their
if you don’t know it already
When you meet with a couple to plan their ceremony, you should capture the details of their love story as best you can. Ask specific questions that can help you find out the account of their tale of affection. How did they first meet? What did she think of him when she first met him? What did he think of her when he first met her? When was their first date? What was it like and where did they go? When was the moment that you knew you loved him or her? What was it like when you met the parents? What do their best friends think of them and what did they say along the way? What about the proposal, how did that go down? In addition to capturing their love story, you might consider reaching out privately to the bride and privately to the groom to ask them to give you a statement; three or four sentences describing why they love that person. You can then include those statements in your message in a beautiful way. E. Verify that they have or will have their do with it
and know what to
It may seem like an afterthought, but it is truly important that the couple go to the county clerk’s office and pay for and obtain their marriage license. You should ask them to be sure to do that. Also let them know that you need them to give you the marriage license on the day of the ceremony. As the pastor officiating the wedding, it is your responsibility to get the witnesses to sign the marriage license, and then it is also your personal responsibility to sign it and mail it in. In most counties, this must be done within 10 days of the wedding. Also, complete your portion of the marriage license slowly and carefully. Any mistake will cause the marriage license to be invalidated! I have had a frustrated couple call me a few weeks after the wedding with irritation because they received their marriage license back in the mail from the county with a red stamp that said it was invalid. The reason was that I put the wrong county name in one little box. Take your time completing that marriage license, but do be sure to mail it in on time! 3. Prepare the
and your officiant flow
Some people are masters at winging it, others of us gain our sense of confidence through strong preparation. When it comes to something like a wedding, I believe the couple deserves to have an experience that is free from distraction, and well-led to whatever degree possible. After officiating more than 100 weddings, I have found that I lead a ceremony best when I have thoroughly prepared both my heart and my notes. Complete the following steps so that you will be most fully prepared to officiate the ceremony with grace.
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A. Complete the wedding ceremony
and email to the bride
After your ceremony planning meeting with the couple, take some time to edit the template document with all of the specifics that you discussed with the couple. This should be a one page document, and it does not need to include your message notes or any of the vows or that kind of thing. It just needs to have the bullet points that help everyone participating in the wedding understand what’s coming next and who is doing it. See figure 3 for an example of this. Once you have edited this flow-plan, you should email it to the bride or groom so that they can pass it along to the DJ and their coordinator and anyone else who is helping with the wedding. Call, text or message them to be sure they got it. B. Write the wedding message - and
it with their love story
If you know the couple well you may already know their love story. Many of the people coming to attend the wedding don’t know the love story of the couple. Hearing a summary of that love story helps make the wedding more personal. Take the information you learned about the couple’s love story, and retell it at the beginning of your message. This part of your message should take three to five minutes. Next, write a brief homily or very short sermon. You should base your message on scripture. You could choose a scripture such as Ecclesiastes 4 which speaks about a cord of three strands that is not easily broken… or you could choose 1 Corinthians 13 which describes perfect love. Or you can choose Ephesians 5, which speaks about the mandate of love and respect for a married couple. This part of your message should be five to ten minutes. C. Create and print your own complete ceremony and details
with the
At this point, you should have all you need to lead the ceremony well. Be sure you have incorporated all of the expectations the couple had for the ceremony. Now, create your own complete flow notes which include the message you will share and all of the other details. I personally prefer creating a document using an 18 point bold font. I then choose a printing option that allows me to print two pages per sheet of paper. The end result is it looks like a piece of paper, with the content printed in landscape layout in two columns. Because the printing control puts two pages on one sheet, my 18 point font is effectively reduced to about an 11 point font. Please see my example in figure 2. I then take the pages I have printed, fold them in half, use three-hole punch that is the specific size for my efficient notebook, punch the holes, and put the pages in my notebook. Now I am fully prepared to lead the rehearsal and the ceremony. My small officiant notebook contains all the information I need and looks more presentable than having loose pages fluttering around. I have used the same efficient notebook for 15 years. It was actually an address book that I bought at a bookstore!
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D. Prepare to speak
into the couple’s life
A wedding ceremony is a time when a couple and many of the family members are likely to have hearts that are open in a unique way. As the officiating pastor, you have a wonderful opportunity to speak prophetically into the couple’s life. Whether you seek God‘s heart for a prophetic message for them in your preparation, or simply leave a moment where you can speak that prophetic message spontaneously, you should do this! Even though wedding ceremonies have a conventional ritual feel to them, you can punctuate that time with a fluid Word of the Lord for the couple. It is an opportunity to speak life and destiny over them, and to release hope and anointing over them. Seize the opportunity, bring glory to God, and bless them with prophetic words of life! 4. Lead the
in conjunction with the
, if there is one
As I already shared with you, my very first wedding for Joe and Paula was one where I discovered that not only was I the officiant, I was also the coordinator. In about half of the weddings I have officiated, this has been the case. Some couples invest a lot of time and money in their ceremony, and this usually means they have a professional coordinator. But many other couples do not make this investment. They may not even have any awareness that there is such a thing as a coordinator. Or if they do, they’ve asked their dear Aunt Sally to “help out “. Dear Aunt Sally is doing her best to remember what the last wedding she went to looked like - but she is not that much help. I always come to a wedding rehearsal completely ready to lead it. If there actually is a coordinator who knows what they’re doing, I’m glad to yield to them. But I have found that it is important to be prepared to organize and lead the rehearsal. A. Meet with wedding coordinator first to review the ceremony for the
and plan
If there is a coordinator, or a particular “dear Aunt Sally” type of family member who is helping as a coordinator, I meet with them at the rehearsal first. You should plan to meet with this coordinator person before the rehearsal begins. You just need to take a few minutes to get on the same page together. Determine which of you will lead the rehearsal. If it is a professional coordinator, be grateful - and step aside! If you sense that they are not a real coordinator, take initiative to be the leader. You and this coordinator should review the wedding flow plan together and briefly talk about the lineup, entry, processional, seating, and any particulars about the venue. B. Begin with welcome and
and
Once you have had a chance to review the flow-plan with the coordinator, it’s time for the rehearsal to begin. Be the pastoral leader God has called you to be. Invite everybody to gather together. It’s usually about ten to fifteen people who are present for the rehearsal. Sometimes
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they have not even had a chance to meet each other. Have this group circle up and introduce themselves. Take a moment and speak some words that inspire confidence, letting everyone know what a special moment they have come to share together with this couple. Lead a moment of prayer with all of those who are gathered for the rehearsal. This is an opportunity for you to establish a sense of spiritual leadership with this small group of people that you may not know. C. Start with the on the right
: facing the congregation, Bride and Bridesmaids
If you do end up serving as the default de facto coordinator, here’s what you do. You bring the bridal party to the altar space and line them up on either side in the order in which they will be standing during the ceremony. Establish the staging so that the bride and bridesmaids are on your right as you face the congregation, and the groom and groomsmen on your left. Help the bride and groom realize that they need to position themselves in such a way that they are centered and square with the aisle and altar or arch. This will make for better photographs. Also, remind the couple that throughout the ceremony they should look at each other, even though you will be doing a lot of talking. Once everyone is appropriately staged, then you can work on the recessional. That’s the moment when the ceremony is complete, and the bride and groom walk down the aisle and out of the venue. D. Determine the
, timing and cues
At most weddings, there is a processional of some kind. Even in the most simple weddings, there is at the very least a distinct moment when the bride makes her entry, accompanied by her father or paternal figure. In more elaborate weddings, the processional is more involved. The first thing you need to determine is whether the groom and groomsmen will be entering from the side by themselves, or accompanying the bridesmaids walking in, down the aisle. Both are acceptable. The most common format is for the groom and groomsmen to enter from the side by themselves, led by the officiant. Then, the bridesmaids proceed in one by one coming down the aisle. After that, the ring-bearer waddles up the aisle in all of his little cuteness; hopefully he makes it all the way up the aisle… sometimes he doesn’t! Then the flower girl comes up the aisle, forgetting to drop the petals in most cases! Then comes the bride, accompanied by her father. They should stop when they reach the end of the aisle where the first row of chairs is. At that moment you will ask the declaration of intent questions. In the rehearsal, you should practice this moment. You should also practice the moment when, after you have asked the question, “Who gives this woman to be married to this man?“, the father gives the hand of his daughter to the groom. I believe this is a spiritually important moment, and it is a moment that deserves some attention in the rehearsal. The groom should elegantly receive her hand, and then lead ~73~
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her to her place at the altar, and then resume his place facing her. Help the couple and father to rehearse this moment until it is elegant and smooth, and not clumsy. Encourage them not to rush this moment. The father may want to take a moment and kiss his daughter’s hand, or simply look into her eyes before giving her hand. While everyone is standing in position for the rehearsal, you should talk them through any other cues in the ceremony. For example, if there’s going to be communion, or a special song, or unity candle lighting, or any other special element, you should rehearse the cues and staging for that. Make sure everyone understands what to do when. Assure them that you will be giving straightforward direction for each of the cues during the ceremony, so they do not need to feel concerned or anxious. E. Do a dry staging
2-3 times
I feel it is important to guide the bridal party through at least two, if not three, run-throughs of all the ceremony blocking. I have found that some brides are very particular and want it perfect. At the same time, I’ve encountered other brides who do not want to rehearse it any more than one time. They feel it diminishes the value of the actual ceremony if they rehearse it too much. You should be amenable to the bride’s desires; after all, it is her wedding day. F. Wrap up with talk about
regarding feelings and missteps
At the end of the rehearsal, be the pastoral leader that you are. Gather everyone together and give them a short, motivating, and inspiring talk about the wedding. Share your excitement about the beauty of the wedding day, and assure them all that they’ve done a great job in the rehearsal and that you are sure the wedding is going to go very well. Also let them know that anything that doesn’t go according to plan will be just fine and that you will be ready to guide the moment no matter what happens. Then, with everyone gathered, close in prayer in a way that reminds them that the wedding that is about to happen the next day will be a holy moment. 5.
the Wedding Day experience
On the day of the wedding, you should personally activate yourself in the Spirit. You will be officiating a supernatural moment where God makes two people one. Feel the glory, goodness, beauty, and weight of this, and pray that your spirit would be resonant with the love of God. Don’t think of it as just a ritual; it is a prophetic, supernaturally powerful moment – and you get to shepherd people through it. Assume total spiritual responsibility for the wedding, and come with confidence about that in your spirit. You are the servant of the most high God, the woman of God or the man of God appointed by heaven for this dynamic spiritual moment!
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A. Check in with the elements are
or whomever is doing set-up; ensure all
You should plan to arrive at the venue an hour and a half before the wedding begins. Check in with everyone to ensure that everything is set up and that all of the needed elements are where they should be. If the ceremony includes communion, ensure that the communion elements are there and ready to go. Check in with the coordinator, if there is one, to be sure you are still on the same page. Ask the coordinator if they have the marriage license, or if they could be sure to remind the bride or groom that the marriage license is needed by you. B. Review the
again with coordinator
This is now self-explanatory - but it does need to happen; it’s the wedding day! C. Check in on For most weddings, there is a DJ who doubles as the tech producer. Usually, the DJ does not come to the rehearsal. You will need to check in with that person on the wedding day and make sure they understand all the cues. Most DJs do hundreds of weddings a year, and they’re great at what they do. You should have them give you your microphone and do a soundcheck. Also determine whether an additional mic will be used for the bride and groom as they share their vows. Often, I will have a headset or lapel mic for the talking I do, but the DJ will give me a handheld mic that I will pick up and raise up just for the moment of the couple sharing their vows. It’s nice when everyone can hear that special moment. It’s also nice when the video of the wedding has audio for the most important moment! D. Go visit the
about 15 minutes before the ceremony begins
About fifteen minutes before the ceremony should begin, it’s time to minister to the bridal party. Start with a visit to the groom. Check in with him, and ask him how he’s feeling. Usually, he’s feeling excited and nervous. Listen to him for a minute, and then ask all the groomsmen to gather together with the groom, and invite the group to pray for the groom. If most of the groomsmen are not believers, you can simply lead that time of prayer yourself as the pastor. Lastly, ask the groom to give you the marriage license. E. Go visit the
about 10 minutes before the ceremony
After you’ve visited the groom, go and minister to the bride. She is usually in a more private space where someone is finalizing her make-up and hair. You’ll need to ask one of the bridesmaids or female family members to go in and make sure she’s open to a check-in from you. Most brides are a bit more emotional on their wedding day. I do not think it is even possible for me to fully understand what those emotions mean, I just know that I can come as the pastor and speak words of affirmation and peace. I usually share with the bride that she’s ~75~
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a beautiful person, that she is a beautiful bride, and that she is going to be a beautiful wife. I pray for her that God would give her joy, delight, and peace throughout her whole wedding day, and especially in the ceremony. F. Shepherd the
as needed and provide
If you are in a professional wedding venue, they will have workers and coordinators who will see to it that the crowd goes where they need to be. But in smaller venues, I find that I am the one needing to do some crowd control. You should be ready to lift your voice and ask everyone to move into the venue area and take their seats so that the ceremony can begin in five minutes. 6.
the Ceremony
Most wedding ceremonies start about ten minutes after the designated time of the wedding. There are people who are traveling a long distance in most cases, and it is common courtesy to provide a bit of margin on the start time. Also, sometimes the bride or groom needs a moment longer to get ready. But at this point, it is time for you to officiate the ceremony. A.
and lead
Remember who you are: a royal son or daughter on assignment from heaven to be the pastoral leader officiating this wedding! So, relax. Let the calm strength of Jesus reside in you - and lead. Go to the groom and groomsmen, and say, “OK, it’s time!”, and then proceed as planned. B. Stand in
authority
Either privately before the ceremony, or even during the ceremony (but silently), take authority over the spiritual atmosphere. Evict any demonic spirit and proclaim the blood of Jesus over the place. Claim it as a holy tabernacle for the time that you are there. By faith, take authority and claim it as holy ground cleansed by the blood of Jesus while you were there. As the processional is taking place, smile and enjoy the moment yourself; it’s always beautiful! Look into the faces of all those were gathered, and silently pray for them, while you smile with God‘s love and grace shining through your eyes. C. Maximize the opportunity for The wedding day is all about the couple; it’s about their beauty, their cuteness, their love story… but if they have invited you to be the officiant, it is because they do want to have a Christian marriage. This means you have an opportunity to give witness to the love and mercy and power of Jesus Christ. Do this in a tactful way, but do this! While it is not an evangelistic crusade, it is important to recognize that for a good number of people at the wedding, this might be the only “church“ that they ever experience.
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7. Lead signing of the Believe it or not, the signing of the marriage license is an important part of the wedding. Usually, the signing of the marriage license happens after the ceremony is complete, and during the time when the bridal party is taking their pictures. Often, the two witnesses are the maid of honor and the best man. Whomever the bride and groom have told you they’d like to be the witnesses are the ones you need to find. This is usually a somewhat casual and quick moment. It only takes about 30 seconds for each witness to sign. A. Coordinate the marriage license signing
if desired
In some cultures and traditions, the signing of the marriage license is extremely important and highly regarded. In these settings, it is common for the signing of the marriage license to be done as a photo-op. Her hand is placed lovingly with the brilliant rings in view on the page; his hand is also placed lovingly on the page, and they are holding the page for their friend who is signing it. Be sure to ask the bride and groom whether they have any expectations regarding any ceremony or photo requirements for signing the marriage license. B. Follow the
requirement for the marriage license
As I have mentioned, most counties require that the officiant be the person to finally sign and mail in the marriage license. Be sure that you do this! 8. Enjoy the
and make your exit!
You have now fulfilled your responsibility as a pastor officiating a wedding. If you have rsvp’d for the dinner, you can now enjoy the wonderful party atmosphere and fine food. Often, I let the couple know that I will not be able to stay for the dinner. Unless I am good friends with the family, it doesn’t make sense to me to stick around for the dinner for which they are paying a pretty penny. Most of the time the bride and groom are completely engaged with their friends and relatives, and I don’t try to interject myself into their conversations. I just make my exit quietly. If there is an appropriate moment, I do like to let them know I’m leaving and that I’m so honored to have been a part of their beautiful day.
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PASTORING by John Hansen
Figure 1 - Wedding Ceremony Template THE MARRIAGE CEREMONY OF PRELUDE: Live Piano player? String Quartet or Jazz quartet? cd with dj? CANDLE LIGHTING: Candles & Unity [Moms] SPECIAL SEATING: mothers, any other honored guests PROCESSIONAL:
Who is wedding coordinator? What is the positioning on the platform?
What is order of Bridesmaids, and of groomsmen?
WELCOME: [Pastor] DECLARATION OF INTENT: [Pastor] PRAYER: [Pastor]
-Songs? Special song performance? -Leader?
WORSHIP MUSIC: SCRIPTURE:
[read by pastor or by special guest or family member]
MESSAGE: -10 min? 15 min? 20 min? EXCHANGE OF VOWS AND RINGS: TO GROOM: Groom, will you repeat this vow to Bride saying after me: I, Groom, take you Bride, to be my wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward; for better, for worse; for richer for poorer; in sickness and in health; to love and to cherish until we are separated by death*; as God is my witness, I give you my promise. TO BRIDE: Bride, will you repeat this vow to Groom saying after me: I, Bride, take you, Groom, to be my husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward; for better, for worse; for richer for poorer; in sickness and in health; to love and to cherish until we are separated by death*; as God is my witness, I give you my promise.
[* or “til death do us part”; or “as long as we both shall live”.] RINGS: -Who will have rings? TO GROOM: Groom, will you take your ring and place it upon the third finder of Bride’s left hand, and repeat after me this promise, saying: “With this ring, I seal my promise, to be your faithful and loving husband, as God is my witness.” TO BRIDE : Bride, will you take your ring and place it upon the third finger of Groom’s left hand, and repeat after me this promise saying: “With this ring, I seal my promise, to be your faithful and loving wife, as God is my witness.” PASTORAL PRAYER - by Pastor; or if desired, by a family member or friend? SPECIAL MOMENT: -unity candle & solo? Groom & Bride light the unity candle - communion? Who is responsible for set up, where will they set it up? Silent, or music to be played? By whom? PRONOUNCEMENT OF THE MARRIAGE PRESENTATION OF THE BRIDE & GROOM - And any special announcement about the reception RECESSIONAL -What music?
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THE MARRIAGE OF joe & amy – 8/10/19
PRELUDE: dj playlist, or live musicians
because technically you aren’t actually married yet, but congratulations! Congratulations on finding each other! Congratulations on discovering the treasure in each other! Congratulations on seeing God’s goodness in each other! Congratulations on asking her to be your bride and on saying yes to becoming his fiance! And more than anything, congratulations on falling in love!
SPECIAL SEATING: -mothers, any other honored guests; Taylor to seat Susie; Jade to seat his wife Julie (tbd!) grandma Jeanne will be escorted by brother-in-law Blaine. Joe’s grandparents are going to walk together. Only his dad’s parents will be walking down. “Hymne” by O’Neill Brothers PROCESSIONAL: Bridal Party Entrance - “Perfect”- Ed Sheeran, violin cover
Your love story: Linfield lunch table girl; Landon
Joe & Pastor enter from side Josh (bm), Jake (BM), Blaine, Honeycutt, John, Nate, Sam, Clay Kylie, Haven, Camden, Chandler, Katie, Kalea, Shelbi (MoH), Lyndsie (MoH) BRIDAL PROCESSIONAL: Bridal Processional song - “Turning Pages” by Sleeping At Last. Ring bearers (Holden, Hudson, and Hayden Klein), Flower girl (Emerson Childers).
Your love story started way back. You are high school sweet hearts – but the story starts even before that. All of a sudden there was this new girl at Linfield. Joe you saw her sitting at that lunch table – and you had no idea at the time you were looking at your wife – but you did no you were looking at this really cute new girl. But before anything could happen, your buddy Landon had a serious crush on that new girl – so – it was hands off – then Amy and Landon “8thgrade dated” for about a month – so it was really a no go. Amy Vista – kept in touch – license – best friends
Then Bride and Father proceed to end of aisle, pause:
But pretty soon, that cute new girl that wasn’t available anyway, ended up leaving Linfield to go to Vista Murrieta High School. So Amy was off the map with the Linfield crew. But she wasn’t off of Joe’s mind. He never did forget that cute new girl at the lunch table… And he kept in touch when she left Linfield. They stayed friends. And as soon as Joe got his license – there was one person he definitely had on his list to get in the car to go and see. Cute new girl! But – the truth was it truly was just as friends. And pretty quickly they became best friends. And they just saw themselves as great friends – but everyone else saw that it was more – and even Joe’s dad was saying ‘when are you going to start dating her!??’.
WELCOME: [Pastor] DECLARATION OF INTENT: [Pastor] TO GROOM: joe, do you desire to establish your home with amy as her husband, to receive her as your wife, to make a home where she will be loved and cared for as long as God grants her life? (I do) TO BRIDE: amy, do you desire to establish your home with joe as his wife, to receive him as your husband, to make a home where he will be loved and cared for as long as God grants him life? (I do) TO BRIDE’S PATRON: Who gives this woman to be married to this man? (‘I do’). Joe receives hand, leads Amy into the ‘altar’ area
Date others – resolution – one month timeline But they were just great friends – so they tried to date other people instead. But even when they were dating other people, they just wanted to hang out with each other! At that point – Joe knew. Joe knew – and he made a new year’s resolution to tell Amy that he wanted it to be more than just friends – that he wanted to date her. So in a very logical way – they set a date for a month later when they would actually begin dating. Joe actually already had it in
PRAYER: [Pastor] MESSAGE: Congratulations! Joe and Amy, I want to say, first of all, congratulations! I know it seems like I’m saying that a little early -
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his mind that he knew he was going to marry her – but he was just kind of terrified because the stakes were so high – but that one month timeline was set!
ECCLESIASTES 4:9-12 NLT Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. 10 If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. 11 Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? 12 A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand backto-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken. 9
First date; dating fun So these best friends finally had their first date. It was Junior year – in February. They went on a romantic and fun hike by the beach; They had a nice dinner with Joe’s parents – and then they took the romance to the highest degree by going to see the movie Austin Powers together. But it was official – they were dating! And after that – so many awesome times together – dates, movies, hanging out at Bum River Creek or Narnia in Temecula – and times out at the river with family, getting two sea doos and a boat stranded out there… good times!
1. Help each other succeed! 2. Lift the other up when they’re down! 3. Lie close together, keep warm! 4. Stand back to back and defend each other! And conquer! 5. Keep Jesus in the center! [triple braided cord!]
Amy ready – the proposal
EPHESIANS 5:31-33 NLT
After 2.5 years, Amy finally told him she was ready. And Joe was ready too – and schemed to invite Amy over for his brother’s going away party. But when she got there she found this pathway from the driveway to the house decorated with all of these pictures of their moments together from the time they’d been dating… picture after picture – and then the pathway turned into roses and candles – which Joe just barely finished with literally seconds to spare as she drove up! But the path of roses and candles and pictures of them both were all leading to the spot where Joe got on his knee and said ‘you are the love of my life and I can’t imagine spending my life with anyone else!’.
As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” [c] 32This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. 33 So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Oneness in marriage This wedding is beautiful – so beautiful! But having a wedding wasn’t the goal - the two becoming one , that’s the goal. The goal in marriage is to be one; all of your uniqueness and goodness, all of your uniqueness and goodness - coming together. And that oneness is something you cultivate! Something you choose, something you work on on, something you are intentional about. Here are a few things you have to have for the oneness to work:
Just the beginning It’s a beautiful love story! Joe and Amy – we all celebrate the wonderful love story that you have! But all that I just shared is only the beginning of this love story – and the rest is yet to be written! And the best love stories are written with the love of Jesus woven into and through every chapter.
• treasure each other! (He is God’s gift to you! She is God’s gift to you!) • forgive each other! (because he will do the wrong thing, so will she, now and then) • prioritize each other! (best friend, yes!) • romance each other! (candles, cards, blankets on the beach, keep it up!) • and give each other space! (for your own hobbies, other friends, work) • have great sex with each other! Frequently! The King James says ‘the two become oneflesh!’ That’s good! Let me take you back to that scripture again…
Christian marriage, scripture But now let me share some scripture with you. Joe and Amy are believers, they are legit Christians; they want their life together to be marked by the power and love of Jesus Christ. They want to build their life together on the foundation of Christ as their rock. So let me share some scripture from God’s Word.
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TO BRIDE: Amy will you repeat this vow to Joe saying after me:
EPHESIANS 5:31 NLT As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.”
I, Amy, take you, Joe, to be my husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward; for better, for worse; for richer for poorer; in sickness and in health; to love and to cherish until we are separated by death; as God is my witness, I give you my promise.
One takes glue – love Being united into one takes some serious glue -and the glue is love. You both – individually – get God’s love. Be full of God’s love – and then – love each other deeply. Remember your love story – and keep adding great chapters to it. And treasure the fact that he really loves you, that she really does love you.
RINGS PLEASE RINGS: -Josh? RINGS SYMBOL Joe & Amy, you have chosen to exchange rings as a sign and seal of the vows you are making today… TO GROOM: Joe, will you take your ring and place it upon the third finder of Amy’s left hand, and repeat after me this promise, saying:
Look into each other’s eyes: what comes to mind Take a moment now and look into each other’s eyes. When Joe looks into your eyes – this is what comes to Joe’s mind – in his own words:
“With this ring, I seal my promise, to be your faithful and loving husband, as God is my witness.”
“Amy is sweet and loving even when you don’t deserve such love. She’s fun and goofy and will always make your day brighter no matter what. “Amy is beautifully and perfectly created and will always be the love of my life” “Amy is a shining light to others who are in need of a friend” “Amy is a Child of God who embraces this truth and spreads joy to others through her life”
TO BRIDE: Amy, will you take your ring and place it upon the third finger of Joe’s left hand, and repeat after me this promise saying: “With this ring, I seal my promise, to be your faithful and loving wife, as God is my witness.” PRAYER: then communion COMMUNION – WITH SONG: Jesus We Love You (Massimo)
He sees you. He knows you. He loves you! And Joe – when Amy looks at you this is what comes to her mind – in her words:
PRONOUNCEMENT OF THE MARRIAGE
She sees you. She knows you. She loves you!
Joe & Amy, you have promised together to be united in Christian Marriage, we have witnessed this fact and so has God. You have exchanged rings as a sign of your commitment to be a Christian family and so by virtue of the authority vested in me by almighty God, I pronounce that you are husband and wife in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit! Amen. Joe, you may kiss the bride!
EXCHANGE OF VOWS AND RINGS:
DO ANNOUNCEMENT HERE
TO GROOM: Joe will you repeat this vow to Amy saying after me:
Invite them to enjoy reception while bridal party takes pictures
I love Joe because he is my greatest confidant and friend. He encourages me in my hopes and dreams and creates a safe place for me to express my fears and frustrations. Most importantly, he lives his life with great integrity and seeks the Lord in all he does.
PRESENTATION OF THE BRIDE & GROOM:
I, Joe, take you Amy, to be my wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward; for better, for worse; for richer for poorer; in sickness and in health; to love and to cherish until we are separated by death; as God is my witness, I give you my promise.
It is my privilege to Present to You for the Very First Time Mr. & Mrs. Joe and Amy Winston! RECESSIONAL:
delivered!
~81~
signe d,
se a l e d,
PASTORING by John Hansen
GROUP DISCUSSION: 1. Share about a time when you have been in a wedding as part of the bridal party - or just share about the last wedding you’ve been to. Who got married? What did you like about the ceremony? What was not great about it?
2. Share about a couple whose marriage you’ve seen to be healthy and strong. How does their marriage bless others, and what do you think helps them keep their marriage strong?
3. Share your opinion - which do you prefer, and why: A big fancy wedding? A medium-sized, normal wedding, or a small informal wedding?
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4. Share about what premarital training can help the couple to accomplish.
5. Share about which aspect of officiating a wedding seems exciting or meaningful to you, and why?
RESPONSE: Write a short paragraph of response related to this chapter’s teaching. 1. Briefly express how God’s nature is conveyed through marriage.
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2. Summarize a definition of Christian marriage and why marriage is important.
3. What should you do when you are meeting with a couple to plan their ceremony?
4. Reference three scriptures that talk about marriage or relationships between husband and wife, and describe what those scriptures call for in a marriage.
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5. Write about a moment in a wedding ceremony that you feel is particularly meaningful and why.
6. Express why you are or are not looking forward to having the opportunity to officiate a wedding.
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PASTORING - WEDDINGS - ACTIVATION
~86~
5
FUNERALS
“And now, dear brothers and sisters, we want you to know what will happen to the believers who have died so you will not grieve like people who have no hope.� 1 Thessalonians 4:13
PASTORING by John Hansen
INTRODUCTION When I was a student at Fuller theological seminary, I became friends with a young Korean guy during the first week of school. His name was Myung Jin Lee; he was born in Korea but grew up in Austria. Korean was his first language, German was second, and English was third - so he had a very interesting accent when he spoke! He was kind, funny, warm-hearted, and eccentric. Soon after meeting him, I was on campus for a full day, and I mentioned that I was hungry because I hadn’t had lunch yet. Myung Jin said, “Oh! Then come to my apartment! I have bone soup for you!” This happened before I was dating or married to the Korean girl who is now my wife - so I had no idea what ‘bone soup’ was. It turns out it is a Korean soup with nothing but ox tail bones and a clear broth. Bone soup. In Korean, it’s called gorigohmtang, and it’s delicious; you should try it sometime. Myung Jin became a good friend. He was fit and healthy, so it came as quite a shock when it was announced that he had cancer. As a group of friends around him, we prayed for healing and believed that God would touch his body and take away the cancer. I remember visiting Myung Jin in the hospital, and he was hopeful, believing with us that he would be healed. But after several months of treatment, the cancer was still spreading, and he was desperately ill. I remember seeing him in the hospital later in his cancer journey, and when I saw him I began to weep. It was very clear that he was dying, and was near death. He reached out his hand to comfort me, “It’s okay John, it’s okay, it’s okay.” It was ironic that the one who was sick and dying was consoling the one who wasn’t. He did not have the energy to say much more than that, but in that brief exchange, he was telling me that he was at peace with making his transition into the eternal reality of the presence of God on the other side of this life. He died several days later. Hundreds of people came to the funeral, and one of the most respected theologians at the seminary, a British Anglican priest named Dr. John Goldingay, led the funeral. He made the statement, “The light of the resurrection is most clearly seen in these moments of death’s shadow.” At the graveside, the casket was lowered into the ground, and Dr. Goldingay finally declared, “From dust you came, and to dust you shall return, until the resurrection!” With that, he walked toward the grave, grabbed a large handful of fresh dirt, and threw it down on the casket. It was such an absolutely final act; it was jarring, even excruciating - but it was also healing. All of us then took our cue from Dr. Goldingay and did likewise. We went, one by one, and threw our handful of dirt down onto the casket in the grave; the primordial finality of the act was cathartic. I wept bitterly for the loss of a friend, but I kept hold of the ever-so-slight glimmer of hope that was present even in that time of mourning, weeping, and death. What Dr. Goldingay did that day made an indelible impression on me. He presided over death with dignity, determination, and an almost defiant spirit from a heart of strength and love that had been stretched by hope. The way he officiated the funeral allowed us to weep and mourn, but ~88~
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also to embrace hope. In this chapter, I will show you how to face death and minister through it in like fashion. I will show you how to carry out a funeral that will honor a loved one, and hold out the hope of the Great One. PART ONE: UNDERSTANDING DEATH 1. Death is Generally speaking, death is an unpleasant subject. We don’t usually like to have conversations about death, and we rarely think about our own mortality. All over the planet, health practitioners of all kinds engage in great heroics to preserve life and stave off death. But at most, we can delay death. Death is inevitable, and eventually everyone will die except for those who are alive when Christ returns. Psalm 55:4 states “the terrors of death have fallen upon me…” There is something terrible about death - and it’s terrors are unavoidable. This is a reality that is likely to befall us all, save for the return of Christ. Sometimes death comes after a long bout with an illness - and though it was expected as a possible eventuality, it still stings immensely. Other times, death comes suddenly and without warning as a result of a tragedy. Sometimes death happens peacefully, other times death comes violently. It always causes emotional pain and a sense of loss. At the same time, the Christian faith positions us with a future focus that is punctuated by the great and glorious resurrection of Jesus from the dead, and the resurrection of all dead at the renewal of all things. This juxtaposition of hope against the backdrop of grief, however, does not remove the bitterness of death and the heavy shadow of its inevitability for us all. 2. Death is not
, it is a
from this life to the next
Philosophies and religions around the world have varieties of understanding of what death is and what it means. To understand death from a Christian perspective, you must first understand the Christian belief regarding the nature of being human. The Christian understanding is that humans are tripartite beings; you are a spirit that has a soul that lives in a body. The spirit is the eternal aspect of who you are, and it is related to the soul. The soul is the seat of the mind, will, and emotions as pertains to the expression of your being in your earthly existence. Your body is the biological physical structure that supports and physically manifests the interaction between your spirit and soul in the biological material world. At death, your spirit is separated from your body. You might recall the words of Jesus from the cross, “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit”, before he breathed his last. Your spirit is eternal. Your body is temporary and subject to decay. Your spirit absorbs the functionalities of your soul as it is separated from your body in death. For this reason, Jesus can share an insight
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in Luke 16 about Lazarus looking down from heaven and having feelings and thoughts. The Christian understanding is that death is not the end. It does end the current biological form of your body - and it is a transition from earthly biological existence to a fully spirit-based existence, separate from a body, until the time of the great resurrection. 3. Christians embrace the idea of a through death
eternal
What happens to the spirit after death depends on the relationship of the deceased with God and His son. In John 11:25, Jesus said, “The one who believes in me will live, even though they die.” Christians strongly embrace this biblical truth, that a person’s eternal destiny is knowable, based upon their faith or lack thereof. There aren’t enough pages here to delve into the question, “…what about those who have never heard…?” My conviction, however, is that God has revealed himself as a God of love and justice. To me, it seems unlikely that He would hold people responsible for a revelation they were never made aware of. It seems reasonable that God would hold people responsible to the degree of truthful revelation about Him that they were able to experience and respond to. However, the spirit of a person who has rejected Jesus will depart into a state of torment and anguish upon death, while the spirit of one who truly trusted Jesus will depart into a state of comfort. Heaven and hell are real. The Scriptures sometimes speak about death as a state of deep sleep. Upon deeper study, it becomes clear that these scriptures are referring to the fact that death is a temporary phenomenon for the body. It does become dust, it does decompose, yet there is a promise of an actual bodily resurrection in both the Old Testament and the New Testament. The God who created the heavens and the earth out of nothing is surely able to gather the scattered molecules of decayed bodies even from the charred ashes of the deceased from any corner of the earth in order to reconstitute them. This is one of the great mysterious hopes of the Christian faith. The scriptures reveal that even after the great resurrection, there is a final destiny for the body and soul both; heaven for the saved soul, and hell for the wicked. This sounds harsh, but would heaven actually be heaven if there were spirits of people there who were unrepentant and wicked? 4. Christians deal with death with and pain
and
despite the sadness
Despite the optimism of eschatology, death is a shadowy and sobering reality. There is grief, sadness, and pain in the mourning produced by death. At the same time, Christians embrace a certain confidence and hope even in the midst of the shadows. We have the promise that Jesus has taken away the ultimate sting of death (Corinthians 15:54-55). We have the hope that our God is with us even in the valley of the shadow of death (Psalm 23). We have the great ultimate hope that one day, death will be completely eradicated (Revelation 21:4). So, as 1 Thessalonians
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4:13 says, we “…do not grieve like people who have no hope…” We do grieve, because the pain and sadness of the loss is real. But we do our grieving while also holding onto the greatest hope creation has ever known - namely, Jesus! 5. Death is an
and can be very
One of the challenging aspects of death to navigate is the reality of its financial burden. Death is big business. When someone dies, there are legitimately needed goods and services. The service of dealing with a corpse is one that needs to be procured. The service of burial or cremation is one that needs to be available. The service of providing space for a large gathering, complete with audiovisual facility and support staff is something that comes at a cost. Land in which to bury a body must be acquired for a price. Perpetual space for ashes in a columbarium is an option that has a hefty price tag. The most recent statistic is that in America, the average out-of-pocket expenditure for end-of-life necessities is $11,618, according to the National Bureau of Economic Research.1 Some funeral homes provide gracious and loving care for families in this time of need. Their services do have value and are needed, and it is only fair that they make money for their work. Sadly, many unscrupulous funeral homes take advantage of families in a time when they are emotionally vulnerable. For example, the simple choice of a casket can become a decision forced by emotional manipulation. A simple wooden casket could be available for $500. But a salesman at the funeral home will talk about how important it would be to honor dear grandfather with the much nicer box. “Isn’t he worth it? Didn’t he love you and provide for you?” he says. In a matter of minutes, a decision to purchase a shiny $9,000 casket is made under emotional duress. As a pastor or minister, you need to prepare to partner with funeral homes in the process of responding to death. Do some research and ascertain the sales practices of the different funeral homes in your area. Determine to partner only with those that refrain from such emotionally manipulative practices as I have just noted. Ultimately, decisions regarding what to do with the remains or corpse are made by family members. But if you have an opportunity to guide them, guide them into an awareness that financial overtures for the deceased are not necessary. Guide them into freedom from making any such decisions in response to manipulation, or out of any personal sense of guilt. The truth is, the decision to spend outlandish amounts of money for the treatment of a corpse does nothing for the spirit of the deceased person. In fact, those decisions tend to be more for family members who remain. If the family feels it is meaningful to have an expensive casket or an expensive monument gravestone, then acknowledge that it is a decision being made for the living, either to feel better about their response to the deceased or to have a place for visitations and remembrance. The dead person will not benefit from it; it is important to guide a family member to approach such decisions with this clarity in mind. 1
https://www.gobankingrates.com/saving-money/savings-advice/cost-of-dying-every-state/ ~91~
PASTORING by John Hansen
PART TWO: HOW TO PASTOR THROUGH DEATH AND OFFICIATE A FUNERAL You have a busy week in ministry; you are meeting with three different leaders to discuss their ministry plans, you have a staff meeting with your team, you have family matters that you must give your attention to, and, oh yeah, you need to write a sermon for the service this weekend. You are hoping to just keep your head above water this week. You feel that familiar buzz in your pocket, and you reach for your phone. You unlock the screen, and read the text message: “Patty just passed away”. You experience a flood of emotions. A wave of genuine grief rushes through your mind as you consider the implication of Patty‘s death. You have known her as a friend and you ache for her family. Then you experience the flood of emotions related to the fact that your already intense work-week just became even more intense. You will need to get ready to expand 10 to 15 additional hours in response to this death to effectively pastor this family through it. The likelihood is that no one else will even really know the cost of this time for you and the emotional toll it takes. But you must soldier on, complete all of your already scheduled tasks and meetings to whatever degree possible, and find the time and emotional energy to be the pastor God has called you to be for that family in this moment. Here is what you must do for Patty’s family. 1. Provide The absolute worst thing that could happen is for someone to lose a family member, and then be ignored by the church. You must not allow this to happen. The love of God must rise up in you to create empathy and compassion for this family that would move you into action. The first action that is needed is for you to provide is immediate grief care. A.
.
provide grief care through immediate personal
Death is one of the kinds of things that beckons you to drop everything else if possible. The pain and need that the family is experiencing is severe. They need the kind of comfort that comes through personal presence. Quickly find out the address of the home or hospital where the person is, and go to them. You do not need to come with any answers or solutions. You just need to show up and be present. All you need to bring is your shoulder, to make available as something on which to cry, and your eyes, to make available as a conduit for a flow of Godbirthed empathy. After simply being with the family members of the deceased in those initial moments and before leaving, you can quietly suggest that in the next couple of days you will be available to meet with them to attend to the decisions regarding a memorial. Do not say any more than this. The family members are most likely in a very emotionally raw state and are possibly shellshocked by the death that has occurred. They are scarcely ready to even think about things ~92~
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such as funerals and memorials. But you do need to incept the thought because this is the harsh reality of death; it suddenly catapults a family into a time of decision-making, planning, and responsibility for conducting just that: a funeral. By quietly mentioning that you will be available to help with this in the next couple of days, you are helping to nudge them toward that very near eventuality. You should also ask them about which groups or teams they are part of in the church. If possible, get the contact info for the leaders of those groups and teams. You’ll need to help the family get support from them. B. Contact any grief
of the church to ask them to give additional
Once you have personally provided immediate grief care through your own presence, you should call for the troops. If the church has a grief support ministry, contact the leaders of the grief ministry, and let them know about the family experiencing death and ask them to make contact. If the church has any other care ministries, such as the kind that would provide meals for a grieving family or further pastoral care support, enlist their efforts at this point. Be careful not to over-promise care to the family. The ministries that you are contacting are usually facilitated by volunteers, and they may drop the ball, or simply be unavailable. C. Contact any church to provide grief support
the person was part of and ask them
In a perfect world, there would be administrative systems and processes that would take care of this automatically. In my experience, it is difficult to create a system and process for moments like this. Moments like this call for the kind of ‘honey bee’ cross-pollination that can only come from direct contact. Reach out to the groups and teams that this person or their family members have been involved with. Let them know about the death, and ask them to get involved with care and support as needed. 2. Meet with responsible family to make After a day or two, you should reach out to the family members of the deceased to set up a time to meet. By now, they will have embraced the difficult reality that they must plan a funeral. Let them know that you are there for them and want to help guide them through the process. They may have already formally contacted the church office, and they may have specifically asked for another pastor to be involved in this next stage of their process. If that’s the case, so be it. Otherwise, you should assume that you are the one to provide this guidance. A. Express that this meeting’s purpose is to prepare for the When you meet with the family for this time of planning, it is important that you express the purpose of the meeting. Their hearts are racked with grief, and they may need counseling and ~93~
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care, but you actually must get down to the business of planning the funeral or memorial. I would advise you to not ask the question, “How are you?” In a moment like this, that question can open the floodgates. You will actually serve the family well by guiding them to the purposeful intention of this meeting, which is to plan the memorial. B. Determine whether it will be a discuss where it will be
or a
, and
First, you should ask whether they are hoping to have a funeral or a memorial. You may need to explain the difference to them. A funeral is a gathering where the remains or the body of the deceased are present. In a memorial service, the remains are not present. Usually, a family chooses a memorial service if the body is to be cremated. At this point, the family may have already determined where the service will be. You should discuss this with them, but you should be careful not to promise facility usage in your church if you do not have the authority to do so and the awareness of the schedule, costs, and availability of the venue. A funeral home is a good place for a funeral if the crowd that is expected is less than 125 people or so. If more than that is expected, it is usually better to utilize the church worship center or alternate venue. C. Provide and review a funeral planning Give the family a page that describes the conventional flow of a memorial or funeral. Talk it through with them. Allow them to speak into what they want or don’t want in the service. Take notes by pen on your copy of the template. As you discuss items in the template such as “slideshow “, or “worship song “, be careful that you do not over-promise. One of your church worship leaders may be available, but also, they may not. The slideshow is usually created by the family member - not by the church. Discuss whether there will be military honors. Decide whether there will be open-microphone sharing of tributes. Please reference the funeral planning template in figure 2 at the end of the chapter. D. Write the
of all family that will be present
In this meeting, be sure to ask for the names of the family members who will be present. I have learned the hard way how important this is. In one funeral, I was addressing the family members by name, and I had thought I had done a good job. I said “I speak for all of us, Jane, John, Bobby, your loss is very great and we care so deeply for you for the loss that you have endured. Our hearts go out to the three of you because you have lost a family member.” At that point, an older woman stood up from the end of the front row, and cried out, “And me! And me! And me, I am his mother!” Somehow, I had failed to make note of the fact that his mother was very much alive and would be at the funeral! ~94~
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E. Determine who will do the using the eulogy questions
, and capture the departed’s
The eulogy is the telling of the life story of a person in summary form. You should suggest that the family could pick someone who is a relative to provide the eulogy, or you could offer to provide the eulogy. If they do not have a relative that they want to do the eulogy, you will need to prepare to do it. If you have a long history with the person, you might be able to do this without much effort. But most of the time, you won’t have known the person well enough to do the eulogy without some serious work. Let the family know that in order to do the eulogy, you want to make sure you understand the person’s life story. Let them know that you’d like to ask some questions to get to know the person better. Then, use the eulogy questions to get to know who the person really was. Take notes by hand as the family members speak. Of course it would be more efficient to type on your computer or on your phone. I just feel that typing on the phone or computer conveys a kind of crassness or sterility that violates the sanctity of the moment. I encourage you to let the ink flow across the page as you capture the details of this person’s life. Please see Figure 1 at the end of the chapter for the eulogy questions. F.
via email, phone or text to confirm details
After this meeting, you should reach out to the family to make sure that the details are all confirmed. Determine whether they have finalized the facilities and venue details. Share the edited and finalized memorial flow document with them so that they have peace of mind, knowing that the service plan is ready. They may need to be able to share this with a funeral director or others who might be helping with the service. 3. Prepare the
notes - and your message
As you have learned from me already, I greatly value preparation as a means to excellence in performance. I want to do right by the family and the deceased. I prepare complete service flow and message notes in a small notebook. In fact, it’s the same notebook that I use for weddings. A. Incorporate all the planning and create a
event-flow document
Take the document that you have created as a standard template, and edit it with the details for this particular memorial. Include all of the information about who will be doing what in the service. B.
the event flow notes page to the funeral director and the family contact
In order to ensure that the memorial or funeral goes well, you should send the event flow notes page to the funeral director and the family contact so that they will have it.
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C. Write the
and personalize the message
You’ve already had a meeting with the family where you took careful notes on the life story of the deceased. If you took my advice, you’ve written those things with ink on the page and it’s not organized. You now need to take all of that information and write the actual eulogy. You should attempt to write a chronological eulogy. You should also write a funeral sermon at this point. You may do well to select a scripture such as Psalm 27 from which to preach. Create your message so that you begin with the eulogy, and then transition directly into the short sermon. The funeral service is a time when a pastor is called on to acknowledge the mystery of human life, and the grief that is felt when life is lost. A pastor should acknowledge the pain of the loss in representative fashion, to help people associated with the deceased to face their grief and more and more deeply. As you speak, you should plainly state that the person has died; they are dead and no longer with us. Perhaps these words sound harsh, painfully stark, cold, and unfeeling. They are not - they are words that are appropriately jarring so to instigate kind of grieving that can aid in the process of healing. There may be several family members that are still in a state of shock, and you can help them move past the shock by clearly stating the obvious. Their loved one is gone. In your message, you should offer a sense of hope as to what lies beyond the grave. At the time of death and especially during a funeral, many people are open to addressing their own mortality in a new way. You can help them by clarifying the great Christian hope. You might preach from John 14 or Colossians 1; the eternal truths of these scriptures describe the hope of glory that is available through faith in Christ. D. Create complete officiant
with eulogy and message
Once you’ve completed your writing, create your complete flow notes. Having your message and all of the details about all of the elements of the service all in one place will allow you to lead the memorial with a confident disposition. 4. Confirm all
with Event Coordinator or Funeral Director and family contact
If the funeral is to be held at a funeral home, there will be a funeral director who is being paid for the services of orchestrating everything. In such a case, you have somewhat less functional responsibility. But because you are a pastor to the family, the funeral director will defer to you in terms of the service flow. You should make sure to connect with the funeral director. If the funeral is at the church building, you have a higher degree of functional responsibility. Your church may have a special events coordinator who will help facilitate the practical aspects of the funeral. Make sure you speak with them. You should confirm the following important details.
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A. Confirm placement of memorial table
(coffin or urn), pulpit, flowers, and
You must think through the flow of the service, and the movement of people in that service. If you have determined that there will be an open mic time of sharing, you need to make sure that the placement of the mic is appropriate relative to the placement of flowers and remains. B. Confirm coordination of
elements and placement of
You should connect with the production technicians regarding the use of media in the service. They should understand the flow of the service, and when they should play a Slideshow or song. They also need to know when the open-mic sharing time will be so they can be prepared for that. coordination process
C. If it is a graveside funeral, determine
If you are pastoring a graveside funeral, it is important that you understand what the process for interment will be. Interment is the act of lowering the casket into the ground, or otherwise burying physical remains. You may have already discussed this with the family, or the family may have discussed this just with the cemetery. A decision needs to be made whether the interment will happen as part of the funeral ceremony, or privately after the funeral. If the lowering of the casket is to happen during the ceremony, as the officiating pastor, you will be the one queuing that. You should make sure to connect with the funeral workers and cemetery workers so that they know when in the service you will call for that. Call the cemetery and talk it over, or plan to come early to the cemetery before the funeral to talk about it in person. If the funeral is a double location funeral, with a large service in the church, and then a processional from the church to the graveyard, you will not have time to discuss these details then. You must have this conversation before the day of the funeral. 5.
the Memorial/Funeral experience A. Arrive an hour and a half early. You’re the
!
The day of the funeral, or memorial, you should plan to arrive at the venue an hour or so early. You are the leader, and while there may be a funeral director, you are called to a ministry of presence even with those who are simply getting the service ready. Greet those who are serving, and offer to help if needed. Most likely they don’t need your help, except to confirm some of the details. You can then find a quiet place to review your notes. B. Take spiritual
over the event
A funeral is a spiritual gathering. You should take authority over the atmosphere and the venue in the name of Jesus. Funerals do invite a broad range of people, some of them may not ~97~
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be positively disposed toward Jesus or his church or his people. By taking spiritual authority over the atmosphere, the venue, and the event, you will be doing your part to minimize any kind of unsavory spiritual manifestation. C. Check in with in place
or those doing set-up; ensure that all elements are
Take a moment to speak with the coordinator or others who are doing the setup. Make sure everything is where it needs to be. Talk about any special elements that will take place in the service - where those moments will take place, and where the people will enter or exit from. For example, if the deceased was a member of the armed services, the family may have arranged for an honor guard moment. The military honor guard people perform this service voluntarily, and they do it with a degree of professionalism that is to be admired. Be sure to talk with them about when they will do their part in the service. Make sure they understand what cue you will give. Often, the honor guard team requests to do their part near the beginning of the service, so that they can make their exit swiftly; they often have another memorial to drive to. D. Check in on In order for the service to go smoothly, it is helpful to do a soundcheck and a media check. As the ultimately responsible person, especially if the memorial is taking place in the church building, you should ensure that the lighting and sound are all functioning properly. E. Go visit the primary
and
people
Make sure that you visit the primary family before the funeral begins. Many times, the primary family members will have been ushered into a side room for privacy. Go to them, and minister the love of Christ to them. Let them know that they have done a wonderful job in preparing this memorial to honor their loved one. You should then also stand by the door and greet all those who are coming in. At a funeral, it is likely that you will not know many of the people. Greeting them as they come in gives you a chance to establish at least some degree of rapport with them. This will help you to more effectively minister to them in their grief. 6. Lead the Remember who you are at the funeral. You are an iconic symbol of spiritual authority. You should purpose in your heart to reflect the strength, compassion, hope, and love of Jesus. Do not think of yourself as simply the speaker who will give a message. You are the shepherding pastor standing in spiritual and functional responsibility for the whole event. You are responsible for the flow and the effect of the proceedings from beginning to end.
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A. Plan on starting 10 minutes
, unless at a military site
In most cases, and memorial or funeral will start about ten minutes after the actual posted starting time. This is out of common courtesy for those who may have faced traffic or come a great distance. The exception to this would be if the funeral or memorial is at a military site. Military venues tend to operate with clockwork precision. It tends to be the case that there is a limited designated time slot and no room for late starts. If you are conducting a funeral at a military installation, be sure you defer to and respect the command authorities present there. B. Welcome,
, pastor and
Represent the family as you conduct the service. Thank people for coming; let them know the purpose of the event is to remember and honor the life of a loved one, to grieve and mourn, to pay final respects, and to ultimately commit the soul of the deceased to the eternal love of God. Pray and ask God to make this a holy moment for all who are present. Share the eulogy, and then preach the word of God. C.
the open mic
If the family has determined to allow an open microphone time of sharing, you should stand ready to mediate that moment. You should stand on the platform slightly behind, but near the place where the microphone will be. This way, if needed, you can come put a hand on the shoulder of a person who may be crying or struggling through their words so as to encourage them. But more importantly, you can draw close and gently take the microphone from a person if they are sharing in an inappropriate way, or simply going on far longer than is reasonable. D. Minister the final blessing and words of The reality is that the spirit of the deceased has already entered into the eternal realm where the great Judge of all the earth has responded as only He can. However, ministering a final blessing and committal is a spiritually important moment for the living. In the days after the death, there is a lot of activity in preparing for the funeral. All of this action can cause the family members to lose touch with the ultimate reality of the death of their beloved. A moment of final blessing and committal creates the proverbial line in the sand. It allows their spirit to have a point of demarcation where they come into a posture of saying goodbye and embracing the finality of the death. E. Graciously receive whatever have for you
the family or funeral home may
As a pastor, the work you do in preparing for a memorial or funeral is intense, and most of the time it has come as extra work beyond all of your regularly scheduled responsibilities. It is appropriate to be given an honorarium or stipend for this work. If the funeral is at a funeral ~99~
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home, an honorarium check will be given to you from the funeral home and its director. The family has paid a large sum of money to the funeral home for a schedule of services; one of those services is paying the pastor a small fee for his or her work. The issue of the honorarium is a delicate subject; no pastor wants to appear as money-grubbing, but the worker does deserve his or her wages. Your church should help facilitate this from an administrative standpoint. The church can create a memorial or funeral policy document that indicates the expectation that an honorarium be paid directly to the pastor, and suggest an amount. In 2020, that amount should be at least $200. But you should determine in your heart that you will serve the family of the deceased with wholehearted effort, grace and love, whether or not there is an honorarium. 7. Follow up with the A few days after the funeral or memorial, it would be loving and caring for you to personally call the family to check in with them. When you talk to them, reaffirm that you felt they did a wonderful job and planning and carrying out a beautiful memorial for their loved one. Ask about their emotional state. Give them information about how to connect with the care ministries of the church; in particular, encourage them to join a grief group. At Centerpoint Church we offer a grief share ministry that provides loving support after death has occurred. Many people do not embrace the real pain of the loss until months, and sometimes even years after the death. The truth is, a couple of days after the funeral, the person may not be ready to really deal with the grief. They are still in mourning. But you can let them know the information about the grief ministries and encourage them to take it vantage of that when they are ready.
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PART THREE: FIGURES AND EXAMPLES Figure 1 - Eulogy Questions MEMORIAL OR FUNERAL EULOGY QUESTIONS
1.
Name, nickname? Where was s/he born? When?
2.
What do you know about his/her family and growing up experience?
3.
Where did s/he go to elementary/high school?
4.
What was s/he known for as a kid?
5.
What college or trade school did s/he go to? Did s/he get any certificates of accomplishment?
6.
Was s/he in the armed services? What rank, where did s/he serve? Was he/she in any other clubs or organizations that were important to him/her?
7.
What were some of his/her hobbies? What were his/her major accomplishments?
8.
What are some of the different places s/he lived?
9.
Tell me about his/her work/career life?
10.
Who were some of his/her favorite friends, and what did they like to do together?
11.
Tell me about any favorite family vacations you took together?
12.
Tell me about some other favorite memories or stories you have of your (loved one)?
13.
Tell me about his/her faith journey; christened? Baptized? Served in ministry? Moment of great faith? Devotions?
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Figure 2 - Funeral Planning Template MEMORIAL OR FUNERAL SERVICE Centerpoint Church – Murrieta CA
PRELUDE MUSIC
• Tape/CD/ Live? • Video Images? WORDS OF WELCOME - PASTOR
PRAYER OF THANKSGIVING - PASTOR SCRIPTURE READING, OLD TESTAMENT: can be read by Pastor or
Psalm 23, 90, 121; 1 Cor. 15:35-49; or 2 Cor. 5:1-5 or other FLAG PRESENTATION (if Military) OR OTHER (Honor Guard) SLIDESHOW OR OTHER MEDIA?
(Y/N)
(Y/N)
SONG (if a song leader is available, and if songs or worship are desired)
i.e.: Great Is Thy Faithfulness, How Great Thou Art or Amazing Grace to be sung together; or special song by someone – all listen? EULOGY AND MESSAGE (either by officiating Pastor or other designated guest) TRIBUTES AND FAMILY TESTIMONIES; INDIVIDUAL TESTIMONY?
ordered? 1. 2. 3. FINAL BLESSING AND COMMITTAL AND CLOSING PRAYER DISMISSAL; FINAL RESPECTS
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Figure 3 - Funeral Planning Questions FUNERAL OR MEMORIAL PLANNING QUESTIONS :
1.
Event Coordinator Meeting Already? (pastor must not approve or confirm any facilities or resources).
2.
Memorial (body not present) or Funeral (body present)?
3.
Date and time?
4.
Preferred Location?
5.
Duration?
6.
Display of Casket or Urn? Open Casket?
7.
Open Casket?
8.
Interment options? • full graveside committal service • unattended interment • neptune society cremains scattering at sea • cremains interment at columbarium
9.
Helping hands for service? (family or friends)
10.
Eulogy?
11.
Other?
Other items to consider: • Items for projection • Special music requests • Flowers • Reception • Obituary publishing
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Figure 4 - Complete Funeral Example WELCOME, THREE STORIES Welcome… on behalf of the de La Cruz family, thank you for coming today… This is a solemn occasion because we are recognizing the pain of death and the value of life and the memory of someone we’ve loved. This is also a sacred moment because we come face to face with the reality of the divide between time and eternity. As it is a sacred moment, would you pray with me? (prayer.) Today I want to talk about three stories; I am going to share about the story of Jennie’s life - including the hard part about the fact that Jennie died so unexpectedly. And then I’m going to talk about our story - my story and your story about how hard this is to deal with. And then I’m going to share about God’s story because today we come face to face with the reality of love, of life, of death - and God’s story weaves hope and meaning and transcendence into Jennies’ story and our story. But first, a word of scripture:
SING HYMN: Great is thy faithfulness
Great is thy faithfulness lyrics JENNIE VIDEO SLIDESHOW PART 1
JENNIE’S STORY: Murr childhood & nicknames
Jennie De La Cruz grew up here in Murrieta; she went to E. Hale Curren elementary school, Shivela Middle School, and Murrieta Valley High School - and finished High School at Lake Elsinore High School. Jennie grew up being called as Naynee by her grandpa, Jennikin by her Dad, Jennysana by her friends, and sometimes - Juanita if you ask Lizzy, her big almost twin sister of one-year and one day apart - the big sister who potty trained her! She was a very outspoken, independent little girl; she dressed herself - always in a matching coordinated outfit, with her hair done just right. She grew up as one of 8 kids - and her brothers and sisters can attest to the fact that Jennie was a smart, articulate girl with a big vocabulary, and a mature way about her, even as a young girl.
JOB 1:20-22 NIV At this, Job got up and tore his robe and shaved his head. Then he fell to the ground in worship 21 and said: “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart.[c] The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised.” 22 In all this, Job did not sin by charging God with wrongdoing. 20
Faria babysitting, checks, peer counselor
When Jennie was 12 years old, she started babysitting for the Faria girls - and she did that for years. Delia shared about how the Faria family would pay her for her babysitting by writing her a check. She would take those checks to the bank, cash those checks, and then take that money to the mall and buy herself name brand clothes - because with 8 kids, that would be the only way that was going to be happening! When she was at Shivela Middle School, she became a peer counselor; her loving and mature nature came through in a wonderful way as a peer counselor. She
JOB 1:21 NIV (keep up, for all to say aloud)“ …Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart.[c] The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised.”
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also started playing softball at that time and she was a great team player.
this moment hurts; it should hurt - because losing Jennie is something worth hurting over, because she is someone worth loving. So in our story, we need to deal with the reality that this hurts. It’s sad, it feels dark. Sudden: shock, disbelief, anger, guilt, unsettling - uncontrol
Work life: Farias, Nihons, Outback, Pechanga, Target
Jennie’s work life started at age 12, as I said, babysitting for a family she was the sitter for for years. But she started working at Nihon’s (neehohn) restaurant in High school. From there she went to work at Outback Steakhouse - and her work there was really a defining part of her becoming an adult. Her skill with people led her into new opportunities in Human Resources - and she became an HR specialist at Pechanga. The last few years she worked for the Target corporation as an HR specialist. Those days from her youth in peer counselling were reflected in how she became an HR worker who could help workers and staff the way she did.
Sudden death
Jennie died suddenly; we didn’t get any warning, there was no drawn out year-long battle with a disease to help us get ready. It was just sudden; The accident happened; we got the news; we prayed and hoped for a miraculous recovery - but it didn’t happen. And then we caught word of Jennie’s death. And it hurts. We’ve been in shock and disbelief. In some ways - we’ve been angry - how did this accident happen, who is at fault here. Maybe we’ve even been angry with God - why didn’t God stop this somehow. Maybe we even feel guilt in some way, wondering if maybe we could have done something differently, if that might have stopped the accident or made the miracle happen. And in these moments of dealing with the news of Jennie’s death we’re confronted with this reality that is so unsettling - the reality that we don’t have as much control and power as we thought. As much as we want to control things death tells us we’re not the ones in control. Jennie’s father yesterday was sharing with me and quoted James 4:13 from the Bible from memory as we were talking about all this - James 4:13-14 says
Family life, marriage and kids, joy
Jennie and Danny married young - and it was her joy to have Bella and Josiah - she loved you both so very much! She took joy in being your mom; she loved cooking for you, doing crafts and fun with you, just being with you. Being your mom was one of the greatest joys of her life. And to the rest of the family - you will miss her cooking at Christmas Eve, but you will always have the joy of every good memory you have with Jennie. Our story; relationship, it hurts.
JAMES 4:13-14 NIV
That’s Jennie’s story; but now I want to talk about our story; and our story - for all of us in this room - our story is that we are all connected to Jennie. You are her friend, her colleague, her co-worker, her classmate, her aunt, her uncle, her cousin, her grandparent, her niece, her nephew, her husband, her brother, her sister, her child, her mother, her father. And for most all of us, this moment in our story is filled with emotion - and pain. This is the page in all of our story that is about the fact that
Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” 14 Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.
13
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Expectation - and peace
God and the place of penalty is hell. But Jesus paid the price ‘de la cruz’ - the price of the Cross - so we could be saved from the penalty of sin! And Through Jesus we get to experience being saved from the power of sin; sin has this power to destroy our lives - but when you turn to Jesus, you receive His Holy spirit - so that you have a new way to fight the power of sin - and so much of the Christian life is learning how to exercise that power more and more to resist sin and grow in grace; that is a journey that every one of us who is called a Christian is on; Jennie was on that journey - growing and learning more and more to experience salvation from the power of sin; But the final aspect of salvation is salvation from the presence of sin. And that doesn’t happen until we leave this world of sin and go to our heavenly home – and that is exactly what Jennie is now experiencing - the joy and beauty of finally being saved even from the presence of sin. In this world of sin - we groan and have this longing inside of us to be free from this place that is ravaged by the effects of sin. That’s what the Bible describes in 1 Corinthians 5:1-5
And Ecclesiastes 3:2 says ‘there is a time to be born, and a time to die…’ The Bible makes it so clear that our expectation should include this reality - that we do not control life and death - that’s not in our power. And so, in a time like this, there are all of these different kinds of feelings and emotions that are part of our story: shock, grief, sadness, anger, guilt. But I know that for some of us, there is also a feeling of peace - even with the sadness. That is because we realize that when death comes - yes - we don’t have control over it, but we do have victory over it in the end! REVELATION 14:13 NIV Then I heard a voice from heaven say, “Write this: Blessed are the dead who die in the Lord from now on.” “Yes,” says the Spirit, “they will rest from their labor, for their deeds will follow them.”
13
God’s story - love, salvation
And I believe Jennie is resting from her labor here - and she is blessed because she died in the lord! I’ve shared some of Jennie’s story; I’ve touched on our story - And so now I want to talk for a moment about God’s story. God’s story is one of extreme love for us. He loved us so much that he sent His one and only Son to save us - the angel at Christmas told Joseph ‘give him the name Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins’. This is what God has in mind for all of us if we turn to Jesus - this is God’s story - that we could all be saved from our sins!
1 CORINTHIANS 5:1-410 NIV For we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands. 2 Meanwhile we groan, longing to be clothed instead with our heavenly dwelling, 3 because when we are clothed, we will not be found naked. 4 For while we are in this tent, we groan and are burdened, because we do not wish to be unclothed but to be clothed instead with our heavenly dwelling, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life.
Salvation from penalty, power, and presence of sin!
Through Jesus, we can be saved from the penalty of sin, saved from the power of sin, and saved from the presence of sin! When anyone turns to Jesus in simple faith, you are saved from the penalty of sin; the penalty of sin is death apart from
Tent camping Rancho Cuyamaca
A couple years ago, I took my boys tent camping at Rancho Cuyamaca state park down by Julianne. We set up our tent - and it was nice; we had a nice family dinner by
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our campfire, did smores by the fire. Then we got into the tent for bed. It seemed like 10:30 at night was a good time to just go to bed in our tent. The thing was - the people in the campsites near us had a different idea; they felt like 10:30 pm was just the right time to crank up the party; they started cracking open their next case of beer, started cranking up their music, and started crooning the tunes at the top of their lungs, screaming laughing fighting… We were in our tent - and we just tossed and turned; the thin walls of our tent left us feeling like we were just in the middle of their mayhem. We didn’t get to sleep til 3am. The next morning when we got up, we went for a hike. It was a really windy morning - and I was glad we brought our jackets. When we got back, we looked around at our campsite - and the tent was gone! I was like, did those drunk party people from last night steal my tent???? But my son said ‘Dad, look! Look at that tent over there that’s upside down!’. That was our tent - the wind had blown it across the campground to 75 feet away - and yes upside down. The point is this - tents can be okay - they serve a purpose - but they are temporary, and aren’t the permanent solution. And the Bible refers to the earthly body we live in as ‘a tent’… And as useful as it is - it is temporary; our spirit has a long-term residence in a heavenly body that isn’t like the ‘tent’ of our earthly body. Our bodies are like tents. They wear out, they sag, they expand, they wrinkle, the joints get creaky, the arteries harden, gravity pulls everything downward, the heart slows down, the eyes grow dim, the teeth fall out, the back is stooped, and the arms grow weary. Our bones break, our muscles weaken. The body bulges in the wrong places. We brag about our strength but a tiny microbe can kill us. Sooner or later we grow old and our bodies begin to break down. And sometimes - the wind blows and the tent gets ruined when an unexpected and tragic car accident happens.
After camping, we went to Julian…
But we have a ‘heavenly dwelling’ that we’re moving into! After that camping trip, after that morning hike and finding our tent torn up, poles snapped, upside down we went into the town of Julianne and just sat in one of those apple pie restaurants for a couple hours… after a rough night in the tent - and the tent wrecked - it felt like heaven just to be in a nice warm restaurant in a town. But then we went home - and felt that sweet relief of being in our real dwelling - our own beds, our own couch to crash out on… 1 CORINTHIANS 5:5-10 NIV Now the one who has fashioned us for this very purpose is God, who has given us the Spirit as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come. 6 Therefore we are always confident and know that as long as we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord. 7 For we live by faith, not by sight. 8 We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord. 9 So we make it our goal to please him, whether we are at home in the body or away from it. 10 For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each of us may receive what is due us for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad. 5
Death not end…
Death is not the end; It’s not a termination, annihilation, evaporation, or a reincarnation; it’s a continuation, and a relocation! As Christians we don’t believe that death is the end. Jennie was a Christian, a woman with faith in Jesus Christ - and as Christians, we don’t believe death is the end; when it comes to death, we don’t believe in death as a termination, or annihilation evaporation, or reincarnation. We don’t believe any of those things. We believe death is a continuation and a relocation. It is a ~107~
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continuation - Jennie’s spirit is alive and well - and in the presence of God! It is a relocation; Jennie has relocated - her address has changed - from California, US to Heaven, Kingdom of God!
BLESSING AND COMMENDATION Pray in thanksgiving for Jennie’s life. Then, if body or casket or urn is present, go place hand on casket or urn:
PSALM 139:16 NIV
Into your hands, O merciful Savior, we commend your servant Jennie.
Your eyes saw my unformed body;all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.
Acknowledge, we humbly beseech you, a sheep of your own fold, a lamb of your own flock, a sinner of your own redeeming.
1. Thank God for life! 2. View death as release and promotion 3. Embrace the promised hope of eternal life
Receive her into the arms of your mercy, into the blessed rest of everlasting peace, and into the glorious company of the saints in light. Amen.
Baptism, and a Graduation
[**In sure and certain hope of the resurrection to eternal life through our Lord Jesus Christ, we commend to Almighty God our brother N., and we commit his body to the ground; 2
Christian - beginning of Christian life is usually marked by baptism… and in baptism we take a woman or man and dunk them in the water - it is symbolic of the fact that a person is being washed clean - but it is also thought of as a picture of death - the death of Jesus; and we even say something to the effect of ‘buried with Christ in his death, raised to new life in His resurrection’. When the person comes out of the water - we celebrate - ‘it is no longer I who live but Christ lives in me’. So in a sense - back when Jennie was baptized - we dealt with the reality of death - and she embraced that her old life was buried with Christ - and that she had a new life based on the resurrection power of Jesus!
Earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust. The Lord bless him and keep him, the Lord make his face to shine upon him and be gracious to him, the Lord lift up his countenance upon him and give him peace. Amen.] May his soul, and the souls of all the departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace. Amen. DISMISSAL: Again on behalf of the De Le Cruz family, I want to thank you for being here today for this moment together. At this time [I welcome you to come pay your final respects] or I welcome you to come greet the family and join us on the patio. I would also like to welcome you to the reception which will be immediately following the ceremony today. It will be at .
JENNIE VIDEO SLIDESHOW PART 2
Family Tributes:
1. Dad 2. Delia 3. Oda 4. Brothers and sisters (if desired)
Thank you, and may God bless you. 2
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GROUP DISCUSSION: 1. Share about the most difficult funeral you’ve ever attended, and what made it difficult.
2. What should a pastor do immediately upon hearing about a death? Why does it matter?
3. Share your opinion: do you believe a corpse should be buried or cremated? Why? What are the implications of each choice?
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4. As you consider being a pastor who might officiate a funeral, which part of it seems challenging or difficult to you?
5. Share about what you would want your own funeral to be like.
RESPONSE: Write a short paragraph of response related to this chapter’s teaching. 1. Briefly express what death is from a Christian perspective:
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2. Summarize the steps a pastor should take when meeting with a family to plan a funeral.
3. Describe what the pastor should do when initially ministering to a family in the immediate moments after a death.
4. Using three scripture verses, describe the great hope that is available even through death.
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5. Write about a moment in a funeral that you think is particularly important, and why.
6. Express why you are or are not looking forward to having the opportunity to officiate a funeral.
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PASTORING - FUNERALS - ACTIVATION
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6
LEADING CHANGE
“See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” Isaiah 43:19
PASTORING by John Hansen
A NEW THING - IN MURRIETA In January 2004, Ann and I moved to Murrieta, California. I had just become the new Lead Pastor of The Lamb’s Fellowship, the church which would later become Centerpoint Church. The church consisted of about 65 people when I first came, and we were meeting in a storefront suite in a small strip mall. There was a wonderful group of committed people; they were the remnant that was holding the church together when many people had said, “Let it die.” I was grateful for this remnant, but all I could see when I first came were so many things about the church that would just never work for us over the long-haul if I was really going to lead. For example, 55-65 minutes of worship music at every weekend service; no. The old, tired-looking logo; no. Children’s ministry taking place in the dirty kitchen/broom closet; no. One lady interrupting worship every week to shout out judgmental sounding ‘prophetic words’; no. There was a long list in my mind of things that simply had to change! After being the new lead pastor for just a few weeks, I got up at the beginning of my message and declared, “I want you all to know that we are going to be changing things around here, we are going to change so many things, starting next week with our Sunday service!” After the service, there was a family who was waiting to talk with me. The woman served in the children’s ministry, the man was the lead usher, and their young adult son played drums on the worship team. They were good people, but the looks on their faces as they waited to talk with me were not good. When it was their turn to speak with me, they looked at me, scolded me, and then said, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it! We heard you say you want to change everything. This is a good church the way it is! If it ain’t broke don’t fix it!” With that, they turned and walked away. This was my first encounter with just how difficult it is to change what needs changing. Many church members say they want a pastor, but really they want a chaplain. A chaplain is there just to minister to the specific emotional and spiritual needs of individuals. A chaplain is there to deliver short biblical messages, provide spiritual counsel, and pray in a caring way. But a pastor is a leader who is there, by definition, to change things. In this chapter, I will share with you the process of change management in the ministry context. PART 1: WHY CHANGE? 1. Shepherding is about If you think about the actual metaphor expressed by the designation “pastor”, you will understand that leading change is inherent to the calling of true pastoral ministry. The familiar words of Psalm 23 state, “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters…” This psalm describes some of the essential work of shepherding, or pastoring. A shepherd leads a flock from one place to another place - and that is the essence of change. Just when the sheep are content with one location, the shepherd directs ~116~
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them to a different one. The shepherd changes the environment that the sheep are in because the shepherd has an awareness that the sheep might not have. The shepherd sees that the green grass in an area is about to run out; he knows he must lead them to a different place before they eat the last of the green grass down to the nubs. The sheep do not see why the change is necessary - but the shepherd does. As a pastor, you will observe ways in which the ministry or church must change. It will appear obvious to you, but you should know that it is probably not obvious to the sheep - God’s people. This is one of the reasons why change management and leadership is challenging. 2. A church must embrace a
of change
Every church is an organism that has a life cycle. When the church first begins, there is passion and excitement about the new opportunity and vision to reach people. The church grows, and healthy, vibrant ministry takes place that blesses people and expands the Kingdom of God. The methods of the church are on-point and relevant; the people of the church are operating in effectiveness and relevance - and the ministry is fresh. However, if the church continues doing the same exact things in the same exact ways for 20 more years, that freshness will be lost. Those methods and approaches that were once so fresh will grow stale; momentum will be lost, and the church will decline and ultimately disintegrate. If the church does not change, it loses the opportunity to reach people; the culture around the church is most definitely always changing, and if the church does not keep pace with the sense of relatability, it simply will not be able to connect with the people of the community. At the same time, if the church does change, it will lose some people. For some members of the church, change is too unsettling and painful, and they just cannot endure it. It is sad to lose such people as no loss feels good or right; but that does not mean that the changes that instigated the loss are not, in fact, good and right. A church must understand this reality and commit to a continual journey of change. As a pastor, you must be determined to lead the church in reinventing itself in healthy ways on an ongoing basis. The alternative is stagnation and death. You must provide pastoral leadership which allows the church to ask, in any moment, “What’s working? What’s not working? What’s missing? What’s confusing?” Armed with collective wisdom in response to these kinds of questions, you must then lead the church in creating new methods, approaches, and environments so that it can continue to be a vibrant, fresh, healthy ministry that is on point in every season. 3. Change doesn’t seem obviously needed to many people until There was a time in the early days of the United States of America when people all across the land acquired water through the use of a bucket lowered into a well. Everyone was familiar with this method, and everyone knew it worked. When someone invented a hand pump, the vast majority ~117~
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of people scoffed at the idea. They did not understand how that cumbersome mechanical device could possibly be any better than the very familiar bucket and well. But after about 25 years, cottages throughout the new country had installed hand pumps to obtain their water. People realized that the water was valuable - not the bucket; it became clear that people should opt for the best delivery system possible. At the time, the hand pump was it. Fifty years later, news spread of houses being built with faucets installed indoors. Again, to most people this idea sounded preposterous - but what did you use this morning when you brushed your teeth? When I first began using a computer, the only way I could save computer information was by recording it onto a large floppy disk. I actually purchased two floppy drives, so I could record information from one floppy disk to another. I was very familiar with the system, and I was satisfied with how it worked. Before I knew it, all of the computer stores were pushing CD drives. To me, it seemed overly complex to have a device that would utilize lasers just to read or record computer information. But I eventually came around and bought a CD drive. Of course, that kind of technology soon became ubiquitous and floppy disks went the way of the dinosaur. Soon the CD drive was replaced by the flash drive and I went through a similar kind of response. Just when I finally got used to using flash drives, the new norm was cloud storage… I think by now you catch my drift. It isn’t always obvious why change is valuable until after the fact. This is definitely true in churches and ministries. It may only be after the change is fully instituted and fully functioning that the majority of people see and agree that it was, in fact, a positive change. 4. Change happens at many different As a pastor, part of your work in ministry involves being a change agent. As such, you should understand that change happens at many different levels. Change needs to happen at an emotional, philosophical, and spiritual level; it must happen at a practical, environmental, and methodological level. Change will then need to also take place at a stylistic, social, physical, and habitual level. As an astute change agent, you must think through how you will lead change that will engage each of these levels of experience. PART 2: THE CYCLES OF CHANGE 1.
change, then
change, then
change
You are the first person who changes. You change your mind, your perspective, and your feelings before anyone else. You need to keep in mind that when you are leading change, chances are you’ve had many months to personally get used to the idea. Be gracious with other people that seem to be slow in embracing the change. Once you have changed, you need to lead the larger group of willing ones in embracing change. This ‘we’ will be a smaller group of people; there will be another group, “they”… and “they” change last. Take some time to understand the cycles of change as represented in the Rogers adoption curve and the change experience timeline. ~118~
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ROGER’S INNOVATION ADOPTION CURVE
CHANGE EXPERIENCE TIMELINE 3
3
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2. Somebody’s got to start When you look at the two change charts, it looks like a wave, doesn’t it? For change to happen, somebody has to start the wave. Picture a baseball stadium. There’s something powerful about a whole stadium full of people doing the wave… but there had to be one person who convinced a small group of other people to help him start the wave. To be a wave-starter requires courage, commitment, catalyzing capacity, calling, confidence, and currency with people. It may be that God will accomplish change in a ministry or church through you. But first, cultivate these wave starter characteristics in your own life so that you will have what it takes to start the wave of change when it’s time. 3. Enlist the innovators and early adopters as a According to the Roger’s Adoption Curve, 2.5% of the people are the excited innovators, and 13.5% are early adopters. That means you’ve got about 15% of the people who will probably be on board with a reasonable change. You should plan to enlist these innovators and early adopters as a guiding coalition for the journey of change. You should find a way to gather these people, and let them know you need their help to engage the rest of the people to move toward the change. Give them clear ideas to communicate and challenge them to be publicly supportive in moving toward the change. 4. Persuade the early majority by appealing to their The next group in the Roger’s Adoption Curve are the early majority. At 34%, this is a large group of people. They might not have been eagerly receptive at the very beginning, but this is a group of people who are generally positively predisposed toward progress. You should persuade the early majority about the value and necessity of the change by appealing to their forwardthinking nature. If you can help them to see the legitimate value of your proposed change, they will probably come right along. 5. Win over the late majority by demonstrating the
of the change
The next group of 34% is referred to as the late majority. These are people that generally crave familiarity and consistency. When they first heard about the change, they were probably resistant. It’s not that they objected to the validity of the idea, per se, it’s that they objected to experiencing something unfamiliar. You probably will need to make the change without that 34% at first, but you still need to include them. Once the change is underway, demonstrate and communicate the effectiveness of the change and its positive impact. That will help the late majority to ultimately embrace it.
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6. Embrace the laggards when they finally In the end, according to the Roger’s Adoption Curve, there will likely be 16% of the people, the laggards, who will only embrace the change when it has finally become the new normal. Even though some of these people may have given you a hard time with the implementation of the change vision, you need to embrace them when they finally come around. 7. Guide all of the people through the inevitable process
of the change
For most people, the process of change will create a journey with both peaks and valleys over time. As you can see in the chart, in the first stage of positive change, there is uninformed optimism and a sense of excitement and intrigue about the change. But this honeymoon phase does not last; the messy reality of new initiatives and the challenge of change sets in, before any good has come of it. This leads to a state of informed pessimism. At this point, people are in the valley of decision: will I fully embrace this change and move forward into the future this change points toward? Or will I leave? As a pastor or minister leading change, you’ve got to help people exercise their faith in God, and their trust in you as a leader to make it through the valley of decision. Once the change begins to be implemented and there is positive traction, people begin to sense the goodness of it and enter into a state of informed optimism. Then, the change becomes part of the normal operations and there is a sense of satisfaction. You can help guide people through a process of change by sharing the idea presented in this timeline before any change begins. PART 3: PROCESS FOR LEADING CHANGE 1. Love the You have heard it said that people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care. It can also be said that people don’t care what you would love to change until you change to love them first. Remember, to be a wave starter, you have to have currency. The currency you need is trust, and trust is the result of a relationship of love. When I first came to The Lamb’s Fellowship as the lead pastor, I knew there were things I wanted to change. When I foolishly blurted that out on a Sunday morning, I discovered there would be real resistance. I determined that I would need to earn the currency of love and trust so that I could lead to change. For the first year, my wife and I hosted dessert nights so that we could meet with every single member of the church that was willing to meet. In these simple gatherings, I asked three questions and spent time listening. First I asked, “What is one of your happiest memories about this church?” Next, I asked, “Would you share about a painful, sad or difficult experience you have had with this church?”. Finally, I asked, “What would be a hope or dream you would have for the future of this church?” By taking the time to honor the past, absorb the ~121~
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pain and invite their input about the future, I established a sense of love and trust with this small community. That gave me the currency I would need to be able to lead change in the years to come. 2. Clarify the Leadership is a divine gift. Part of the gift of leadership is the ability to see the problems that need to be solved, even when others might not be aware of them. This is a wonderful ability, but it brings a challenge, in that people who do not have a leadership gift are unlikely to recognize that there is any problem. Just when you think the problem is obvious, you need to spell it out for the people. A. Expose the necessity of
the problem
A number of years ago, it seemed obvious to me that at Centerpoint Church, we needed to build a student ministry building. Needless to say, that was not obvious to most of the people in the church. The work I needed to do was to expose the problem and the necessity of solving the problem. The problem was that we had a youth room that could accommodate a maximum of 50 people, and we had nearly 300 students in our youth ministry. What I had to do was let people know that solving this problem was not just a want or a desire - it was a necessity. The room was at capacity, and we were breaking fire code laws nearly every time we had a youth gathering in that space. Building a student ministry area was a necessity for reasons of both safety and capacity. As the leader, it was my job to expose that; people don’t want to fix what’s not broken. When you are leading change as a pastor, you must clarify the problem and expose the necessity of solving it. You may feel like you are stating the obvious; do it anyway. What’s clear to you because you have a leadership gift - may not be clear to many people who don’t have that gift. 3. Convey the Once you have helped people to see that there really is a problem and that it is necessary to change it, you must now explain to people why it is urgent to deal with the problem and make the change. In the case of needing to build the youth ministry building, I had to explain that jeopardizing the safety of the students was exposing the church to the risk of legal liability. I also needed to express that many students would simply not continue to come because the space was so uncomfortably full. This would represent a loss of our ability to provide discipleship to those students. I also described the fact that if we did not do anything to solve this problem, we would not be able to welcome in any more students; I reminded the people that there were thousands of students within a three-mile radius who need Jesus. I explained that every day that went by was another day that another student would move further and further away from God, while we did nothing about it. ~122~
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As a pastor who is leading change, you must show people the problem and speak out the feeling that motivates the movement to solve it! Generally, we humans are motivated by our emotions. Fear, anger, hope, excitement, happiness, surprise, dismay, joy… these are what truly move humanity. A leader who is hoping to change something needs to speak to the feeling that will affect the heart; then the will is motivated to move. A. Define the
of the change
As a pastor who is leading change you must define for God’s people why the change matters; you will be asking people to give their money, their time, and their ability to help bring the change about. They must feel an inner sense of motivation to be willing to do this. That motivation at the deepest level comes from understanding the “why”. When I shared the vision of building the youth center, the heart of it was that if we really have embraced a mission from Jesus to love and lead people to a life-changing connection with Christ, we cannot ignore the thousands of students in our immediate vicinity who don’t know Him. We cannot let them simply be lost to whatever the whims of the culture in the world may be. Why would we spend millions of dollars to build a youth ministry building? Because we believe Jesus wants us to reach the students and create a place where they can experience his love, his power, his passion, and his goodness - and ultimately receive his gift of salvation and supernatural empowerment! 4. Paint a picture of future Once you have loved people, clarified the problem, and explained the urgency, you have established a good foundation for initiating change, and it is likely that people are starting to sense a stirring within them about joining you in the effort. But, people still need additional motivation. The journey of change is hard; people need to have a sense of what they are moving toward and why it will be worthwhile to continue moving toward it. You can paint a picture of future glory that will help people maintain their motivation to contribute to the process of change. In the case of the change to build a student building, I found a variety of ways to say, “Can you imagine what it’s going to be like when we have this place for students, and after school, instead of going back into the woods to vape and smoke pot, students are coming here, to our church campus, where they will be received with love and care, and ultimately lead to Jesus? Can you imagine the pleasure and delight of our Heavenly Father as he sees lost ones coming home to Him in this new youth facility, and you had something to do with it!” This gave a picture of future glory that allowed people to stay engaged with the journey of change. You must help people see that it’s gonna be good when we get there! A. Clearly
the change vision
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they are able to digest it and embrace it. You must clearly communicate the change vision again and again. As they say, “Vision leaks”; vision for change leaks - and squeaks! It is always the leader’s responsibility to communicate and re-communicate the vision for the change and the reasons behind it. B. Avoid the common communication Great communication ability is a skill that you must develop. To provide excellent communication, you need to avoid the most common communication killers. First, ambiguity - when people aren’t clear on what the proposed solution is, the ambiguity will paralyze people’s willingness to proceed. Second, one-way communication will only result in people feeling devalued. Make sure to open up communication where you can listen to and take in people’s concerns and questions. Third, assumptions destroy great communication. When you make an assumption that people have understood what you communicated, or when you make an assumption that people have heard the vision enough, you may stunt the growth of healthy communication. Fourth, dishonesty will always destroy good communication. In a journey of change, do not be dishonest about the difficulties or challenges of the change. You might think you are just trying to soften the blow, but what you are really doing is eroding the confidence and trust that will be required for people to be willing to go with you on the journey of change. 5. Invite people to
!
It is crucially important that you invite people to help in the implementation of the change. Even if they have not become emotionally or philosophically convinced of the necessity of the change, engaging to do their part to help implement it will allow them proximity to the change in such a way that they will be able to better comprehend the value of it. Further, you must engage the cycle; I change, we change, and then they change. Invite people to help implement the change; give them a role and a responsibility in an aspect of the change. That way, they will be joining you to be active agents in the change rather than passive recipients of it. A. Connect the change to
and
If a church has been around for a while, chances are it has a history and a set of values that the people have embraced and in some ways hold dearly too. As you endeavor to lead change, you should connect the change to the history and the values that have shaped the church. When I led The Lamb’s Fellowship through the name change process to become Centerpoint Church, I referenced the fruitful kingdom expansion history of the church as part of my motivation for wanting to change the name. I referred back to the value of the church for reaching the community. This signaled to the longtime members that I did in fact honor and respect their shared history. They would not have been willing to give me their consent for the name change if they felt I was throwing away the values and history that they held dear.
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B. Shrink the change into When you are leading change, sometimes the scale of the change is so large that it feels impossible. But remember the old saying: “How in the world do you eat an elephant? …one bite at a time.” You will need to shrink the change into bite-size pieces and short-term wins. When the ultimate destination of a change is a long way off, people can begin to feel weary about the journey. Give people opportunities to celebrate short-term wins. For example, when it came time to build the youth building, it was a two-year process. It was months of waiting just to get planning approval from the city. But once we got that approval, we celebrated that milestone with all our might! It’s not that the permit itself was that big of a deal; I just knew that after months of waiting and nothing happening, I needed to reinvigorate the emotional commitment of the people to the change journey we were on. As you lead change, look for the milestones you can celebrate along the way. C.
the critical moves through excellent
When you are leading change, words, timing, and specific steps really matter. In project management, a tool called a Gantt chart is often used. It describes the specific steps in a process with micro-detail and spells out the exact timeline of when every step will be taken. It allows everybody working on a project to be on the same page. As you lead change, think through each specific step that must happen by a specific date and write it all down in chronological order. What exactly is going to be done? Who is going to do it? What is the specific wording needed for everyone in our communications strategy? The leadership skill of orchestration is one that the leader must be disciplined to engage in. PART 4: CHANGE SIDE-EFFECTS 1. Accept the fact that there will be When our church was in the process of building a new worship center, I was extremely excited. We were about to double our space and reach twice as many people if God would give us favor and fruitfulness. There was a couple in the church, I will call them Chris and Penny Easton, who were some of the most faithful and committed people we had in the church at the time. This couple purchased and gave as a gift our first 20 round folding tables. This couple organized all the hospitality, all the ushering, all the greeting… they were an exceptionally high-commitment family in the church. They asked for a meeting with me and I gladly said, “Sure!“ I always look forward to spending time with people who give so much of themselves to help further the cause of Christ and who stand in solidarity with me in the ministry I lead. They sat down in my office and glanced sadly at one another. “John, we need to let you know that we are leaving the church. We are just feeling sad about the new worship center that is being built.
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The church is going to grow and get larger, and that makes us sad. We want to find a smaller church where we can know everybody, and where everybody can know us, too.” I knew there would be casualties, but the Eastons? How could this happen? The reality is that as a pastor who is leading change, you need to know that change will include pruning, even pruning of fruitful branches. You must learn to embrace short-term losses for the sake of the long term Kingdom of God gains. 2. Keep the
, but don’t make people
!
I hope I have made the case for you that leading change is a positive, valuable and necessary endeavor. You should lead change. But watch out that you don’t make people seasick. The church or ministry you are leading is like a boat. And going through change is like taking that boat up and over the crest of a wave. If you do that too much, the people on board will end up sick of change. As a leader, you must always be measuring how much change the ministry is enduring. Sometimes you might have to deliberately hold off on implementing a change that you know is needed because you also know that the ministry cannot endure any more changes in this season. 3. Know that people will only follow you around A few years ago, a friend invited me up to Bend, Oregon to speak at his church. I went there in February, and my friend wanted to show me a good time, so he invited me to go snowmobiling with him in the snowy Oregon wilderness. He was on one snowmobile, and I was on another. He lead the way. We were zipping across fields, around trees, over hills - he was an expert snowmobile driver, and I was a novice who was just trying to figure it out. I was doing my best to keep up with him, but at a certain point, I did not know whether he had turned left or right in the middle of the woods. I had no idea what to do. I just stopped. I was unsure of how to proceed, so I simply waited there. Finally, he came back to where I was, and then lead me back where we came from more cautiously. This is my point: people can only follow you around so many bends. Ah, the irony that I learned this lesson in Bend, Oregon! If you change too much too often, you will erode the sense of consistency and familiarity that people crave deep within. Yes, God-ordained change is good. But God-ordained stability and consistency are also good! Churches and ministries need seasons of both.
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GROUP DISCUSSION: 1. Share about a time when you have experienced change in an organization that you did not initiate. What was the change, how did it affect you, and how did you feel about it?
2. Discuss how change leadership is related to pastoral ministry.
3. Talk about why a church must change, and what happens if it doesn’t.
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4. Describe the waves of change and the five major groups that are part of it.
5. Share about the five steps of the process of change and which part seems most challenging to you.
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RESPONSE: Write a short paragraph of response related to this chapter’s teaching. 1. Briefly express why a ministry or church must change.
2. Summarize how people experience the journey of change, referencing the change timeline.
3. Describe what you must do with the five different groups of adopters as you lead change.
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4. Summarize the five steps of the change process and describe how to execute those steps.
5. What aspect of change leadership seems daunting or difficult to you?
6. Express why you are or are not looking forward to leading change in a ministry.
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PASTORING CHANGE - ACTIVATION
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7
RELATIONSHIPS & RESULTS
“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.� Colossians 3:23-24 NIV
PASTORING by John Hansen
WHAT REALLY MATTERS? When I was in my second year at Fuller Seminary, I accepted a position as the worship pastor at Hope Community Church in Santa Barbara. Ann and I were still living in Pasadena, and we would commute to Santa Barbara on the weekends. Monday through Friday, we were full-time students doing our masters degrees. But every Saturday we would leave Pasadena at 6am, drive to Santa Barbara early in the morning, get everything set up at the church, and then lead the worship practice from 2:00 to 5:30pm. We would then go to the home of the Mori family who hosted us each weekend. Sundays I would be up at 5am, and down at the church building getting ready for the two Sunday services. It was a long weekend - but it was gratifying to be part of a growing church. One Saturday afternoon, I had one of those worship practices where the drummer didn’t show up, one of the musicians came but had a volcanic eruption of anger, the singers had not learned their parts, and the soundboard had been hijacked by gremlins. These experiences in ministry leave you feeling frustrated and exhausted - and that’s exactly how I felt at 5:30pm. As soon as the practice was done, Ann and I left the sanctuary, locked the doors and headed to the Mori’s house. They could tell that we were spent - and the conversation at dinner that night was pretty limited. I wanted to connect, but the emotional energy just wasn’t there. After dinner, I was sitting on the couch in the Mori’s family room when my phone rang. These days, we all let our phone go to voicemail - but in 2002, you answered your phone, which is what I did. It was Pastor Ben Sigman. Pastor Ben was the Senior Pastor of Hope Community Church; he was a young leader, 36 years old at the time, and he was full of passion and a drive for excellence. Pastor Ben had taken over the church when it had just 50 people and had turned it around - leading it to grow to around 300 people coming each weekend to worship. Ben was a man on a mission to see people come to know Jesus and to grow the church by making disciples - and he succeeded at it. “John, you need to get your butt back down to the church building right now,” he said, skipping any sort of small talk whatsoever. “Umm, why do I need to do that?” I said. He answered, “The fact that I have to even answer that question tells me we have a major problem. Let me tell you the reasons, one by one, that you need to get your butt back down there: worship papers strewn across the platform. Guitar cases sitting on the altar. Cables draped across the front row of seats. Microphones sitting on the steps. The projector still on. Amplifiers still on. Hats and jackets randomly sitting on the platform. Do I need to continue?” I answered him and said, “No, but I was going to just go in a little early and…” Ben cut in on what I was saying and said “No, no - you will not just go in a little early. You will go in NOW and clean up that worship center. It is absolutely unacceptable for you to leave it that way at any time. Have I made myself clear?” I said yes, and hung up.
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In that moment, I wanted to quit. I wanted to quit so badly! But I went and cleaned up the worship center, unfortunately breathing out my resentment towards Ben as I did. But the truth is, Ben knew that his assignment from God to lead that church called for results. While it might not have seemed like a big deal to me, Ben knew that when other people came in the morning and saw the sloppy worship center, it would be sending a message to them all that we just don’t care that much. Ben had a strong value for excellence because he knew that the mission depended on it. He wanted to establish relationships with the people of Santa Barbara - and he knew that the kind of people he was sent to reach generally appreciated excellence in all of its derivative forms: cleanliness, orderliness, organization, pleasing presentation, nice aesthetic… Ben recognized that my personal lack of excellence in this moment could have negative unintended consequences. Ben also knew that if he allowed me to be sloppy this one time, I would probably get used to it. He determined to put the kibosh on that - even though it caused him to be ‘the bad guy’ in that moment. There were other times when Ben’s hard-driving expectations for results drove me up the wall and made me want to quit, but he also gave a positive acknowledgment whenever I did something that contributed to the missional momentum in a positive way. Ben demonstrated for me the absolute necessity of accepting the call from God to be responsible and make every effort to get great results. Ben eventually left that church to become the executive pastor at Eastlake Church with Mike Meeks - and I eventually left Hope Community Church a couple of years after Ben did, in part because the new Senior Pastor was not able to lead in such a way as to get results, ironically. Ben has been a mentor to me ever since, and he is someone I go to whenever I am trying to figure out how to get better results. I’ve also seen that since that time, Ben has mellowed out a bit. He’s learned how to temper his drive for excellence and results with more love, grace, and relational connection. Consequently, the people who work for Ben now as he pastors Timberlake Church in Redmond, Washington, tend to continue as part of his team for many years, instead of wanting to quit all the time. The end result is that Timberlake, which had just 800 people when Ben arrived, is now a church of nearly 4,000 people with six campuses in the Seattle area. In pastoral ministry, there is always a tension between relationships and results. As a pastor, you must learn to navigate this tension, knowing that it is not an either-or proposition. Jesus’ parable of the talents in Matthew 25:14-30 and Luke 19:11-27 makes very clear that in the work of the Kingdom of God, measurable, quantifiable results absolutely matter. But from John 13:34-35, it is clear that Jesus commands that we establish relationships of profound love with those we do Kingdom work and life with. As with so many things in ministry and the Kingdom of God, it is not either/or, it is both/and. I heard a talk once from psychologist and author Henry Cloud in which he described the wake of leadership; his thesis was that leaders always leave either a positive or a negative wake behind them from the choices they make and the actions they take. He described the ‘wake’ as consisting of two sides; relationships and results. I wish I could give Dr. Cloud full citation credit - but I took personal notes from the talk I heard him give, and I failed ~135~
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to take note of where the talk was given - it may have been at the Global Leadership Summit in 2010. In these next pages, I will use Cloud’s framework to address the uniqueness of pastoral ministry - and the directives you must embrace to make the most of your ministry leadership opportunity. PART ONE: RELATIONSHIPS 1.
with people
I have a confession to make; I am by nature an introvert. That means my natural tendency is to be alone, do things alone, and not bother anybody. But does that sound like a trait that is good for leadership? It isn’t. And on one hand, I could just say, “Well that’s the way I am, I’m an introvert, and I just tend not to opt for connecting with people.” Or, I can acknowledge that I have that as a tendency, but then work to choose healthier patterns. I choose to connect with people. I have to - because what comes more naturally to me is to just hibernate! As a pastor or ministry leader, you must connect with people in public and in private. Make time for people - even if it is just for a few minutes, even if it is just on the phone or even by text. Build shared experiences together, and then speak about the shared experience you’ve had. If you are a team leader, connect with the people on your team once a week by text - just to tell them, “I’m thinking of you and praying for you.” Stop by and check in with people on the team in other departments. As your ministry grows, this becomes increasingly important! The tendency is to be all about the results - but Jesus has called you to love well; so reset on the relationships, and connect with people! One of the things I have observed over the years is that some staff people neglect - or refuse - to build real community with the members of the church body. Instead, they will only spend time with fellow paid staff members - and only the particular ones they like or have responsibility for. This is wrong; it ends up doing more harm to the Body because it creates an ‘us vs. them’ culture in the church, and it is akin to the sin of the Nicolaitans found in Revelation 2:6 and Revelation 2:15. There are two ways of interpreting the terminology ‘Nicolaitans’ - and there is no definitive answer about which is correct. One states that ‘Nicolaitans’ comes from the Aramaic word אלוכינ meaning ‘let us eat!’ - and concludes that the Nicolaitans were people whose philosophy was ‘we can do whatever we want, eat whatever we want, consume whatever we want, do whatever our devious desires lead us to do.’; this view sees Nicolaitans as people who are unwilling to restrain themselves, especially with their sexuality. The other view takes the term Nicolaitans as a Greek word formed by νίκη and λαός - which means victory or conquering over the laypeople. This view holds that the Nicolaitans’ sin was oppressing the laypeople of the Body through a divisive spirit of superiority which devalued the common member of the Body. Because either interpretation has validity, I’m inclined to accept both - and it leads me to conclude
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that pastors and ministry leaders must guard against the kind of superiority complex or simple neglect that would leave the common members of the Body feeling disconnected and detached. By contrast, over the years I have been so grateful to have pastors and ministers on my team who have an innate capacity for building many healthy relationships, and have done so. By opening up their heart, their home, and their calendar to spending quality time with members of the Body, they have strengthened the glue that holds the community together. As a pastor or minister, you must accept this as part of your calling. If you contest that you’ve already done your work in your 40 hours, and that you don’t consider it your job to intermingle with the common church people, I would say you have taken on the idolatrous spirit of Micah’s priest in Judges 17 - 18, and you should repent. You have adopted the practice and spirit of the Nicolaitans - and you should repent - or consider leaving the ministry. 2.
people
A while back I was talking with a mentor, and I was saying to him, “I feel like the people on my team don’t believe in me, like they take me for granted or even look at me with ridicule. I wish sometimes they would say something to me like ‘I appreciate you, and great job on your talk’…” After listening for a while, he said, “Do you think the people on your team know that you value them? How often do they hear from you, words like ‘I appreciate you, and great job on what you’re doing’?” He continued, “John, do they know they matter to you?” I was convicted. I sometimes think encouraging thoughts, like “Wow, Pastor Adrianna really did a great job with that event!’ But I’m learning I need to go the next step, and go to that person and say those things! As a pastor or minister, you need to lead the charge in encouraging people - and not just the people in your department, but across departments, and across the church. Give encouragement to people you report to as well as the people who report to you! Come on, God’s Word says, “Encourage one another daily!” Believe in people. Emphasize their strengths and express your appreciation for them. One of my disciplines is to write 2-3 hand-written encouragement cards each week. I write to people who are volunteering and giving it their all in our church; I let them know I appreciate them and that they are making a difference for Jesus in the lives of people. I put a stamp on it, and send it. This is one way I can create an ecosystem of encouragement. It tends to be the case that encouraged people encourage people. 3.
to people
Healthy interpersonal communication is defined as speaking to be understood, and hearing to understand. As a pastor or ministry leader, it is easy to get caught up in only doing the speaking. After all, people sit in rows and listen to what we are ready to convey. But if that’s all that happens, effective communication will not be taking place; you must be determined to listen to people. Listening to people may require that you ask people for feedback and create channels by which ~137~
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feedback can be given. As a leader, you can ask a few good questions: “How are you feeling about our team dynamics in our church?”; “What could I do to help you succeed in your role?”; “Are there any ways you’re feeling frustrated as part of my team?” When you listen in person, look at the person in the eye. Don’t interrupt; suspend your judgment. Ask questions for clarity. Sum up what you think you are hearing. If the dynamic is such that you wouldn’t be able to sit with people individually, create a group forum such as a town hall meeting where this could take place. Alternatively, create an online form that you can ask people to fill out. Creating ways for people to share their heart and for you to listen will give everyone a greater sense of relational connection in the ministry. You might also be made aware of some blind spots in your leadership that you need to address. The questions above open the door to difficult feedback, and I would urge you again to resist the urge to defend or excuse yourself. Just listen! But I would also recommend that you add two more questions at the end that can allow the tone of the communication to be tempered with a positive flow. Ask “What are you really pleased about in our ministry?” and “How has your life been positively impacted by being part of this ministry team?”. When people answer those questions, listen up! Those answers are helpful too - so that you become aware of what you’re doing right that is helping and blessing people! 4.
with people
The primary currency of leadership is trust - and trust is developed over time through reliability, honesty, honor, and love. As a pastor, you must build trust with people by being reliable. You show up when you say you’re going to show up. You follow through on what you’ve been asked to do, or what you’ve said you would do. You return people’s phone calls; you answer people’s emails and texts, even if just to say “Got it!” You leave things better than you found them, and you help provide solutions rather than just announce that you’ve discovered a problem. When you are reliable over a period of time, there is a consistency to your reliability and you are perceived as more trustworthy. To build trust, it almost goes without saying that you must be honest. You speak the truth in love, and you don’t cover up the truth with lies. When there has been a problem and you are responsible for that problem happening, own it. Don’t deflect and shift the blame - that isn’t honest, and it will never help you build trust with people. In my experience, I gain trust for a leader when they admit their mistake and fully own it. As a pastor or leader, you also need to be honest about what you have or haven’t achieved. Don’t say, “One hundred kids came to the event!’ when it was actually 63. An effective leader who is over you will inspect the fruit - and when they find that it was actually 63, their main concern will be with your dishonesty. To build trust with people, you’ve got to be honorable and loving. When you honor people, you speak well of them and give them credit for whatever they can be given credit for. Don’t blab ~138~
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private or embarrassing information about people. Listen - if you have ‘those conversations’ with people, behind closed doors - the kind where you check to make sure no one is nearby, and you say, with a hushed voice “Did you hear about what John said? Oh.My.Gosh. What a jerk he is!” believe me - the people you are talking about WILL hear about it. They will - and their trust with you will be diminished. Just decide now, “I’m not going to talk trash about people when they aren’t there.” Jesus said in Luke 12:3 ‘what you say in the dark will be repeated in the daylight…’ Decide, I’m going to speak in the dark as though it were the daylight. 5. Engage in conversations with people
communication and have those
Crucial conversations are the ones where you talk about the thing that’s hard to talk about. For example, you address the behavior the person on your team exhibited that was rude and unacceptable; you revisit the matter you disagree about harshly with your colleague. You talk about the thing that went wrong that you’re still thinking about; these are crucial conversations. One of my flaws as a leader is that I have a history of exhibiting conflict-avoidant tendencies. If it felt like there was a conflict brewing, I would try not to go anywhere near that person. I would choose a different path to my office just to avoid seeing that person. This is terrible and ineffective, and not the mark of a mature leader! All that does is leave a person feeling that ‘John doesn’t like me, doesn’t appreciate me, and I’m in trouble’. The reality was more like ‘John disagreed with an idea or proposal but didn’t want to deal with the relational tension of talking about it, so he avoided me for months.’ This is something I have had to re-learn as a grown man. I have learned that I need to face the music, engage in brave communication, and have those crucial conversations with people. I’ve learned the necessity of speaking bravely and directly to the person with whom there is an issue, as soon as I can, to process the discrepancy or dissatisfaction. It’s more loving to do this! Leaders that can walk into a colleague’s space and say, “Hey - we’ve got a problem here and we need to talk about it together,” do well! People like a leader like that! Some leaders are too ruthless, but other leaders need to get a little bit more ‘ruth’ in there. You will only be successful to the degree that you are willing to confront and enter into necessary conflicts. Pastoral ministry will always entail a series of conflicts, one after the other, so get used to it - and be brave! 6.
to people
Back in 2012, Gene Mitchell, who was a board member at the time, recognized that our church needed an executive pastor. But he said, “John, I’d like to step in for six months and be your executive director because you’re not ready to have an executive pastor. I want to help you learn to let go of a lot of things so that this place can grow beyond your ability to decide or do things. You’ve got to learn to release control to people so you can have an executive pastor.” Gene’s observation about my pattern of leadership was astute. I had become the bottleneck. It was classic ‘founder’s
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syndrome’. I’m the founder of Centerpoint Ministries - and at the beginning, I filled every single role there was. I felt a deep connection to the work, the systems, the processes, and the decisions. In truth, I probably was the most highly invested person in our ministry, so it made sense that I felt this sense of extreme ownership. The problem was, as Gene pointed out, I was getting in my own way. To expand the impact capacity of the ministry we lead, we need to learn to release control to people! Gene would say to me, “John, their 80% is better than your 100% because you will be able to have three or four of them all making decisions and doing work, rather than the 100% of just one of you.” His wisdom was on-point. To be effective in ministry as a pastor, you must learn to release control to people. Let them have the responsibility and the authority to make decisions. Give clarity around who has decision rights at what level, and then stay out of it. That’s what it means to release control to people. 7. Embrace the
relationships
I sometimes envy the people who have ‘regular friends’ that they just hang out with, where there is no pressure to perform, be, or behave in any certain way. I have chosen a different path in my life - and as a pastor, I almost always have dual role relationships with people. I am both their friend and their pastor. I am both their boss and their pastor. This duality carries a bit of tension with it; the tension to be a certain kind of ‘spiritual’, the pressure to be ‘on’ in the pastoral gifting even when I just want to be off. Sometimes members of the Body want to be friends with me, when I sense in my spirit I only have bandwidth for them as a church member - not a friend. Other times, I want to develop a friendship with a person in the church - but for whatever reason, they just can’t see me that way; they act weird around me and have a somewhat warped sense of who I must be as a pastor. I have come to just accept the fact that my relationships are mostly dual-role relationships; there just isn’t any way around it. The alternative is to be so troubled by the dynamic that I stay disconnected from God’s people in the church. As you grow in pastoral ministry, you may find that people who you regarded as friends who are part of the church begin to treat you differently. They also may find that you’ll need to treat them differently at times. Pastoring people often involves asking them to adjust their life patterns, and calling them into account for certain choices. You will need to grow in acknowledging to people, “I’m your friend, but right now, I need to put on my pastor hat for a moment.” This kind of language helps identify the reality of the dual role in a helpful and honest way. 8. Protect your
from unrealistic
When you are young and single, your life-choices generally only affect you. Where you choose to work doesn’t have much impact on anyone else. If you smell like coffee when you get home,
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that doesn’t really affect anyone else in your world, because you’re on your own! But if you have a family, or if you one day establish one, your choice to engage in pastoral ministry will have an effect on those you love - and you will need to protect them from the unrealistic expectations that ministry can have for them. When Ann and I first came to The Lamb’s Fellowship church, it wasn’t long before a few of the ladies in the church cornered me after service to ask, “So, is Ann going to lead the women’s ministry, or the children’s ministry?” I had heard that people might expect things of her - but this was almost like a demand or an ultimatum. I was gracious as I responded to them, but my answer was firm. “Ann is a strong, smart woman. Right now she is a full-time nurse at the hospital, and it will be her decision whether she will take on anything in the church, and it may be that she won’t take on anything in the church”. They looked concerned when I said this; they looked at each other, then back at me, and said “Oh. Oh, well, okay then!” Many pastoral families suffer and many ministry marriages don’t make it because of the lack of boundaries. It is easy for a pastor to spend so much time nurturing other people with meeting after meeting, program after program, that she or he fails to nurture their own family or marriage. As you step into pastoring, you need to keep in mind that Jesus told you to feed His sheep - he didn’t call you to love his sheep. But he did speak to a husband and say ‘love your wife’. There is legitimacy to doing two or three evening meetings throughout the week; this is a normal part of pastoral ministry for many pastoral roles. But limit it to two or three, generally speaking. And make up the difference with a special morning or two with your spouse, or a lunch-date… your own marriage will need nurture! One weekend after church, my kids were running around in the worship center, jumping over chairs, and running up the platform. At a certain point, an older male leader shouted out, “You boys need to settle down, you’re the pastor’s kids! You should know better!” I took the gentleman aside and let him know that I did not welcome him to speak that way to my kids. Whether they were doing anything wrong or right had nothing to do with whether they were ‘pastor’s kids’. I have a responsibility to protect my kids from the pressure of the expectations church people would try to put on them. As you grow in ministry and possibly include kids in the mix, you will need to ensure that they receive your love and nurture in a way that has no connection to the church. You can express an expectation for them to attend and serve, but they have to know you love them no matter what. You may need to even ease off on the kind of spiritual disciplines that might otherwise be normal to expect. When kids grow up going to church services for hours and hours per week, it can begin to feel like ‘church’ is the only thing that matters. It’s important that you shepherd them in knowing that they matter to you, independent of church and spiritual performance measures.
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PART TWO: RESULTS Now let’s talk about results. Results matter because God wants us to be fruitful, and there are certain functions that help ensure that we are getting results. Over a 15 year period, I led our church through the 100 barrier, through the 300 barrier, through the 500 barrier, through the 1,000 barrier, and through the 2,000 barrier. We went from a rented storefront to developing an undeveloped property, to having one building, to having two buildings to having three buildings, raising about $10 million in capital campaigns during this time. This has required certain pastoral leadership skills related to getting results, and I want to highlight six of the most critical leadership skills. 1. Define the future with One of the most important things a leader does is to define the reality of where we are, and determine the direction for where we need to go. Whether you are the leader of the men’s ministry, the leader of the hospitality ministry, or the leader of the whole church - you are the one who needs to define the future for that ministry or ministry area. Start with analyzing where you are Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, Threats - and then begin to think, dream, and pray. Ask, “Where do I want this ministry to go - where does God want it to go?” As you ask this question, you should do so with your leader’s expectations in view, if you are a staff pastor. For me personally, in 2004, with 65 people, I had to do all I could to minister to people - but I also had to define the future. I envisioned that one day we would have a campus with adequate facilities; I envisioned that we would have 50 lifegroups and 50 other connect groups and teams where intentional groups-based discipleship was happening; I envisioned a future where we could start other locations. That was the big picture vision I was dreaming of. But big-picture vision has to be translated into the small moments. I remember one leader we had who was overseeing hospitality; they would make sure that we had a card table set out with a couple of packages of generic brand oreo-type cookies. That was the extent of their willingness or capacity to envision a better future. But another leader was recruited - and when that person began, they dreamed about airpots for the coffee, and tablecloths on the card tables. They envisioned putting out flowers, and serving fresh donuts, and making the presentation beautiful. I remember sitting with this leader as she described the future of our hospitality ministry - and I was blessed and excited by the vision. What a ministry leader does is define the future! But then it has to go from dream to strategy if the results are going to come. 2. Develop As a leader, you get a picture in your mind for the future - but strategy is about determining the steps you are going to take to get there. As a leader, you’ve got to determine the strategy you’re ~142~
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going to use to move toward that defined future you’ve envisioned. For our hospitality ministry, this leader had defined a vision for the future - but she needed a strategy and a plan. The strategy she came up with was straightforward and effective: build a hospitality team with at least fifteen volunteers, and get board and pastor approval for the budget. Then the plan was to have each weekend leader buy donuts from a certain place at a certain time, and set up the pretty tables by 8:30am each Sunday, and have a hospitality volunteer in place for each service. Leaders have to develop strategic plans. 3. Engage the In Matthew 25:14-30, Jesus tells a story that describes how a man went on a long trip - but before leaving, he gave resources to three different managers. One got five talents, one got two talents, and one got one talent. Upon his return, he commended the manager who engaged those five talents in such a way that there was a multiplied return. He condemned the manager who did not engage his one talent - but instead, buried it. The ‘talent’ in Jesus’ parable is a unit of money. But what if we understood it more broadly, and accepted the term to include any kind of resource, including people? God brings people into our ministries who are ‘the talent’, so to speak, and we should value them as the worthwhile, capable, valuable resource they are - and learn to engage them well. A leader who gets results has to continually engage the talent. This is first about recruiting a team; that entails tapping people on the shoulder and straight-up asking them to join your team as you learned in chapter three of this book. Engaging the talent is about motivating the people on your team in such a way that they are willing to continue to invest their energy and effort into what you’re doing. The best way to do this is to always lead with the ‘why’. Why we are doing this? Why are we trying to reach 5,000 people? It’s because there are people in Murrieta right now who are far from God and empty; headed to hell and heavy with the hell of life - and who we want to reach with the power and love of Jesus! An effective way to engage the talent is to motivate the team with stories of life-change one after the other. Celebrate the stories of people getting saved, healed or delivered! Or in your specific ministry area, celebrate the stories that showcase why your ministry made such a difference to someone. Engaging the talent is about training your team members and helping them to develop and grow. Engaging the talent is also about effective delegation! We had a pastor on our team who was a wonderful person - and when he got engaged in something- he tended to want to do everything. The leaders under him came to me feeling discouraged, and they expressed that they really weren’t needed because he was always taking everything back. But when you are engaging the talent - you are fundamentally recognizing that they have spiritual gifts and natural abilities that all can be part of the team’s effectiveness. Engaging the talent is about creating a team - a sense of belonging where each talented person feels valued and meaningfully engaged. ~143~
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4. Catalyze A great pastoral leader should be results-driven and growth-oriented. If you are a pastor or minister with charge over an area of ministry or a whole church - that does need to be in your mindset; the goal is, at least in part, to get results and experience growth and increase. But a leader has to be able to take individual people and help them come into a place of willingness to cooperate and work together, to collaborate so that those results can be accomplished and growth can occur. One of the things that tends to happen in church is that ministry areas can begin to function in isolation, as though they didn’t need to be concerned about other ministry areas or the larger whole. The worship ministry may not care about what happens in the children’s ministry; the youth ministry doesn’t care what’s happening in big church or in hospitality. The men’s ministry doesn’t have any idea what’s going on with the small groups ministry, and doesn’t seem to care. This is a problem. We need to operate with a heart of synergy and cooperation because we are one body. And leaders set the tone for this. Be interested in other departments, what they are doing, and how you can help. Leaders catalyze cooperation by sharing the big picture and how all of our efforts combine to create positive momentum. 5. Excel in Imagine you are in a symphony hall, and you are about to see a great orchestra perform. There are violins, cellos, basses, percussion, flutes, trumpets, trombones, harps, pianos, french horns, and there is a conductor. The conductor has the full score of the music and has a sense in his mind of what he wants it to sound like. But now, he has to conduct the orchestra - he has to orchestrate it so that the orchestra comes together to make a beautiful sound. In ministry, a lot of what we do requires orchestration. A pastoral leader needs to learn to excel in orchestration. Orchestration is the ability to manage the processes and steps that lead to a desired outcome. For example, when we made a plan to build our worship center, I had to orchestrate the process; it is a bit like being a project manager. I wrote out a plan of orchestration of what was going to happen when, and how it was going to happen. This work of orchestration is equally important in any ministry area as new programs or ministry experiences are developed and rolled out. This skill of orchestration is particularly important if the church or ministry is going to grow dynamically. You can get away with nothing but raw passion for a while, but passion alone does not sustain the structures and systems that create traction. As the ministry grows, the scale of what you are doing is going to demand excellence - and excellence demands orchestration. For example, when you are going to do a new children’s ministry curriculum, you need to orchestrate the rollout plan. Here is an example of what that orchestration plan could look like. Imagine that the Children’s Pastor wrote this out 3 months before even mentioning the idea of ‘new curriculum’ to anyone: ~144~
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1. Get approval from the overseeing pastor to explore new curriculum possibilities. 2. Write a letter to parents expressing that you are considering new curriculum. 3. Meet with kids ministry leaders to let them know you are considering new curriculum and welcome their input.
4. Compare and contrast the options, and make a selection with full awareness of pros and cons. 5. Meet with the board or pastor to present the new curriculum idea.
6. Gather the teachers and demonstrate the new curriculum to them.
7. Send out a letter to parents telling them the new curriculum that has been selected and why. 8. Plan a new curriculum kickoff weekend.
9. Tell the kids about that weekend, that we are starting something new promoting the kickoff weekend for three weeks in a row. 10. Launch the new curriculum.
11. Write a letter to the parents two months later requesting their feedback about the new curriculum. Orchestration is not only taking the right steps in the right sequence - it is the ability to strategically plan what those steps should be in advance, and then to also execute those steps as planned. Great orchestration anticipates possible pitfalls, engages the right moments for communication, includes the many voices that should be included, allows people to feel safe and secure, and leads to effectiveness in results. Be the kind of pastor who leads a flock with the skillful anticipation and strategic foresight that is demonstrated in the excellence of great orchestration. If you work for me at Centerpoint Church, I expect it. 6. Work with It is said that he who sits on the world’s highest throne still sits on his own bottom. It’s a phrase that acknowledges that we are all just human - even if we’ve been afforded an opportunity to lead. As a pastor or minister, you may be given respect, admiration, and power. Do not let it go to your head; instead, do your work with humility. Humility is having the self-confidence and selfawareness to recognize the value of your contribution without overestimating or overstating your own importance. Humility also involves appreciating the value and contribution of others without feeling threatened. Humility is the ability to have self-awareness about the fact that you have weird, annoying things about yourself just like you think she has weird annoying things about her! Humility is the willingness to do things that you might otherwise feel would be ‘beneath you’. Humility is Jesus getting up from the table and washing feet - when that was the job of the
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common house servant. Humility is about honoring the leaders that are over you, NOT talking trash about them behind your back. Humility is about having honor for those who serve on your team for you and treating them with dignity and value rather than lording your power over them. As a pastor, you must learn to work with humility - and that humility should be demonstrated in certain specific kinds of actions. First, when you are given praise for the accomplishments of the ministry, just say thank you. There is no need to say, “It was all God” or any such nonsense; if it was ‘all God’, I’m fairly certain the results would be far superior! Second, when given praise, say thank you, and then look for others to give credit to. Acknowledge the others who shaped the idea, implemented it, supported it, and otherwise contributed to it. Third, when reprimanded or called into question, accept it - and take responsibility for your missteps without defensiveness. You are not perfect; you do make mistakes and do things in less than excellent ways sometimes; admit it without excuse. Fourth, ask for help along the way - you weren’t meant to do it alone and to believe you could is the height of arrogance. Fifth, resist any entitlement attitude that could feed your ego. Yes, there are legitimate perks of being a pastor - but you don’t need to cling to those things or demand them. Sixth, put other people first; look for ways to give opportunities and blessings to other people, even for the sake of choosing a path of humility. Seventh, thank people. Others are serving and working hard so that your vision and plan can move forward. Give them the gratitude that a humble heart should give. Work with humility!
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GROUP DISCUSSION: 1. Describe what ‘brave communication’ is, and why it is vital for healthy ministry.
2. Describe a time when a pastor or leader was deliberate about connecting with you; how did that affect you?
3. Share about a person you know who is great at being an encourager. How do they convey their encouragement?
4. Why is it so valuable to listen to people? How can a pastor or minister proactively listen to the people in their ministry, and what will be the result if they do?
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5. How does trust get built? Share about that - and share about a leader you’ve known who is trustworthy; why do you think they’re trustworthy?
RESPONSE: Write a short paragraph of response related to this chapter’s teaching. 1. What is the purpose of vision in ministry, and how does it relate to strategy?
2. Describe what orchestration is and why it is vital for healthy ministry.
3. What does it mean to catalyze cooperation, and how should you go about doing it in ministry?
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4. What is humility, and how does it affect the ministry if it is present or if it is lacking?
5. How does pastoral ministry create a dual-role phenomenon, and what should a pastor do about it?
6. Briefly describe the tension between relationships and results in ministry and why both are valid.
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RELATIONSHIPS & RESULTS ACTIVATION
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8
LIFELONG DIRECTIVES
Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. Philippians 4:9
PASTORING by John Hansen
A DISCOVERY BORN OUT OF DEFICIT As a pastor in The Missionary Church denomination, I was required to attend the annual conference at Forest Home retreat center. I had never been to a denominational annual meeting before, and I didn’t quite know what to expect. Most of the other pastors were guys 20-30 years older than me, and they came across as people who really knew what they were doing. By contrast, as a 27-year-old guy who had really only been in church ministry for a few years, and only as a youth or worship pastor, I felt like a fish out of water. In the main sessions, I listened as pastor after pastor got up to share a report from his church; one after another talked about the board meetings they had led, the congregational decisions, the building projects, the hundreds of people they were leading, the hundreds of people who were receiving salvation, the many weddings and funerals they’d led - and they were inspiring reports. The only problem was, what they inspired inside of me was a sense of inferiority. I wondered if I’d ever have what it takes to do anything even remotely like what all these great pastors had done. The truth was, I felt doubtful about whether I could. There was one pastor in particular that was impressive - Mike Meeks, the Senior Pastor of Eastlake Church in Chula Vista, California. Pastor Mike had taken on that church when it had just 200 people, and he had led it to become a church of about 1,000 people at that time. Eastlake Church is now a church of about 7,000 people, with many campuses around San Diego. But in 2002, it seemed absolutely amazing that Pastor Mike had led the church to grow from 200 to 1,000. I saw pastor Mike playing basketball between sessions with a group of pastors - and he was the guy scoring all the points. Between the sessions, wherever he walked, there seemed to be an entourage of guys walking with him. Mike stood tall, walked with that enviable cool-guy swagger, exuded a sense of competence and power, and had the demonstrated track record to back it up. After the morning session on the second day, my pastor, Ben Sigman, took me to introduce me to Mike Meeks. We walked over to the section of chairs where Mike and his entourage were laughing and talking. When we approached and Ben interrupted them to make the introduction, their banter all stopped. “Hey Mike, this is John Hansen, he’s our youth and worship guy.” For the next ten seconds, pastor Mike, backed by his entourage, just stared at me; his steely blue eyes were calculating my total worth and value as a human being. Finally, after what felt like an awkward eternity, he said, “John, people need confidence. Confidence! confidence!” He spoke sternly, and with a soul-riveting strength that seemed to puncture my heart; after repeating the word confidence, he shifted his stern expression to an intimidating smile that said, “You’re pathetic!” He then stood up and walked out of the venue, entourage in tow. No ‘nice to meet you!’, no pleasantries; just… that. To be honest, Pastor Mike was probably responding to the vibe of insecurity I was probably giving off. But it was an important moment for me; it was one of those moments that leaves
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an unforgettable impression - it has never left my memory. In that moment, I felt utterly and completely aware of how much I needed to learn. I had completed a Master of Divinity degree at Fuller Theological Seminary, but in that moment - I was keenly aware of how much I didn’t know, and just how much I was not a ‘master’ of divinity, or anything else. I resolved that day that I would be a lifelong learner. In this chapter, I will share with you nine lifelong directives for you as a pastor or minister that will help you to stand with confidence. These directives are grounded in scripture and will help you to continue your own growth journey in becoming an effective minister or pastor. 1. Be
, and grow in
In the first century, there was no radio, no telephone, no internet, no electricity, no printing press, no cars, no planes, no text messaging… I could go on and on about what didn’t exist. Do you know what there was an abundance of? Challenges, difficulties, problems and insurmountable odds, especially if you were trying to get the word out about something. But despite having the deck stacked against him, the Apostle Paul determined with a gut-level ferocity to get the Gospel out to the whole world. In our day, we might determine to do that and we actually could, all from the comfort of a couch with nothing but an internet connection. But Paul had to pack bags, trust God, and head into unknown places throughout the world with faith that somehow, some way, things would come together. Can you imagine the kind of confidence that would have to be resident in a man to fuel him to do what Paul did? The truth is, you can’t imagine the Church as we know it without that confident man and his willingness to go for it for God’s glory. Paul writes to believers and ministers in 2 Corinthians 3 and 4 in ways that provide powerful lifelong directives; let’s explore them together. 2 Cor. 3:4-6 NIV Such confidence we have through Christ before God. Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God. He has made us competent as ministers of a new covenant—not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life. Confidence is an internal disposition of security and strength, with an optimistic perspective about what you are doing and a strong belief that you will be able to do the right thing and get results. Some days you may actually possess all of the feelings associated with confidence, and other days, you may not. But as a pastor, you are in a leadership role - and a core element of your calling is to influence people. In the strange interaction I had with Pastor Mike Meeks, he was highlighting the fact that in ministry, a pastor must function from a basis of confidence so as to inspire and influence people. He was right; people need confidence from those who would be leaders.
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You should determine now that you will choose confidence, whether you feel it or not. You are fearfully and wonderfully made, after all, and made in the image of God, and filled with His Spirit! The implication is that you have good reason to be confident - so choose it! Choose to be strong and secure inside - knowing that you are loved and empowered by God. Choose to be optimistic about what you are doing and your capacity to get results - because the same power which raised Christ from the dead is at work in you! Don’t let the devil rob you of confidence, and don’t believe the devil’s lying voice of defamation. You have a right to be confident, so choose it! At the same time, your ability to walk in confidence is substantiated by your ability to successfully achieve goals and accomplish what you pursue. This will require you to grow in competency. As a pastor or leader, you must dedicate yourself to personal improvement in any area it is needed. The scriptures reveal that competence comes from God; he is the one who makes us competent as ministers of the Gospel. At the same time, he invites us to join him in the process of developing and honing it. Over the course of your ministry life, you will need to grow your competence in the areas of leadership, envisioning, vision casting, strategizing, motivating, recruiting, deploying, measuring, momentum-building, celebrating, regrouping, orchestration, management, financial oversight, relationships, and communications - just to name a few! Decide today that you will be a lifelong learner - and that you will confidently pursue growth in all of these areas and wherever else you need to mature! 2. Get
, and stay
Being a pastor is not just about being a person who knows how to do the tasks associated with pastoral ministry, such as officiating a wedding or a funeral, counseling a person in crisis, leading a church meeting, or writing a sermon. These are important functions, and they are part of pastoring, but they are not the essence of it. At the very core, being a pastor is about becoming the kind of person who is burning with the fire of God inside in such a way that others are able to experience the warmth of His presence through you - and through your officiating, counseling, leading and preaching. Your primary responsibility as a pastor is to be the kind of person who knows how to get inspired - and then tends the fire of the spirit within so as to stay inspired. 2 Cor. 4:1 NIV Therefore, since through God’s mercy we have this ministry, we do not lose heart. As a pastor or minister, you must be the kind of person who knows how to go into the presence of God and stay there until you catch His glorious fire; you must be the kind of person who chooses a way of life that allows you to daily experience God’s presence so that your spirit is full, whether your circumstances are going well or not. You must learn to bring your heart into an encounter with Him on an ongoing basis to get inspired. You must resolve to get your inspiration
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directly from the living God, first and foremost. His presence is everything - and everything else is secondary! Don’t settle for reading a ‘Jesus Calling’ type of devotional book when you are meant to be the kind of person who hears Jesus calling, and goes into His presence, and receives for yourself what He would say to you! That being said, assuming you have set a daily rhythm of life where you receive inspiration directly from your heavenly Father, you can also glean inspiration from many other sources, and you should, as long as they are secondary. Read the books of great leaders. Listen to the podcasts of those who God is moving mightily through. Go to conferences where models of effectiveness can be discovered. Pursue a relationship with a mentor who can speak into your heart - so that you won’t lose your heart. You need to understand, though, that your work as a pastor or minister is only part of your life. You are a whole person - and getting inspired, staying inspired, calls for you to be living whole, as you will no doubt have learned in Tracy Meeker’s class in the Centerpoint School of Ministry. Let me mention, though, that staying inspired spiritually requires that you engage in plenty of things that are seemingly unspiritual. Take up a new hobby - something artistic, such as painting, pottery, songwriting or theater; find a physical outlet that can refresh you - hiking, surfing, weightlifting, bowling, bike-riding, frisbee… your physical body is what carries your inspired spirit - but if it is not fully refreshed, neither will your spirit be fully inspired. To stay inspired, you will need to change up your patterns and routines from time to time. In one season, a morning time with God may be just right. But - if you get into a rut, change it up; try a late-night time with God, or a prayer-walk instead of a prayer time on the couch. Perhaps in one season, a bible reading plan on Youversion is plenty of inspiration for you. But in another season, you may need to try something less regimented, giving yourself space to just breathe over a few short verses. Do whatever you need to do to stay inspired; God has called you to live in such a way that your faith will be alive - and that you will not lose heart. 3. Stay
and
.
One of the most devastating things I have experienced in ministry is the moral failure of a minister who had been serving under my leadership. By God’s grace, I have not personally experienced a moral failure - but this is a statement made with the sentiment ‘there but for the grace of God go I’ firmly in view. In each of the cases when I have had to discipline and remove a minister from the ministry because of a moral failure, the story was that the minister was caught rather than that the minister came forward and confessed. What this means is that these ministers sat with me in meetings and times of prayer giving the appearance of righteousness and godliness, but hiding something devious and evil. This is not the way for a pastor or minister to thrive. We are called to be people who would stay authentic and honest. ~155~
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2 Cor 4:2 NIV Rather, we have renounced secret and shameful ways; we do not use deception, nor do we distort the word of God. On the contrary, by setting forth the truth plainly we commend ourselves to everyone’s conscience in the sight of God. Becoming a pastor or minister does not make you immune to sin. In fact, it may be likely that your calling invites a heightened exposure to temptation, both for sociological and spiritual reasons, but this does not mean that you are excused from accountability. The scripture reveals that we who are ministers must live with a determination to renounce secret and shameful ways. We must renounce secret sin any time it crops up; we face an increased pressure to demonstrate an outward posture of spiritual victory - but if we are actually living in secret defeat, our overtures to victory will sound hollow - because they will be. You must find people with whom you can confess sin and receive accountability. You must decide that there are certain lines that you just will not cross, and pray the way Jesus taught you, that God would ‘lead you not into temptation, but deliver you from evil’. If you find yourself crossing lines, you MUST confess your sin to a person who can help you turn back to righteousness; in some cases of indiscretion, this person may also need to help address whether your line-crossing would be something which could disqualify you from continuing in pastoral ministry. Pastors and ministers are people; they are not perfect - and you should abandon the expectation that you will be. However, you must be honest - you must set aside deception. If you engage in deception and dishonesty, you will sabotage your own standing as a minister or pastor. Dishonesty and deception will completely erode people’s capacity to trust you - and that will leave you unable to adequately lead people. You must also guard against distorting the Word of God, either by accident or on purpose. If you have to use the New Grace Glory Living Passion Amplification News Version because it’s the only one that says a verse the way you need to have it said, you are probably out of line! If you have to ignore the verses before or after your verse in order to make it work, you may likely be distorting the word of God. As a pastor, you have a responsibility for how people’s conscience is affected by you. At face value, this verse is about teaching the scriptures with honesty and integrity; no plagiarism, and no distortions of the truth. But, this notion of affecting people’s conscience has implications has further implications. For example, while you may be free to head down to the local bar and enjoy a beer or two if you weren’t a pastor, that same decision could be a very negative one if you are. Someone else who struggles with alcohol addiction and thinks of you as their pastor may see you head into that bar - and their conscience may be deeply affected by that in a negative way. Just seeing you head into that bar may be the very thing that pushes them across the line back into a bitter battle with alcohol. ~156~
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4. Preach
, and be a
.
A number of years ago, I was attending a church leadership conference in which there were to be a number of big-name speakers. The people speaking at the conference were nationally known church leaders, bishops, authors, and pastors. One of those people was Kevin Mannoia. Dr. Mannoia had been a Bishop in the Free Methodist Church, and he had also been the president of the National Association of Evangelicals. In that role, he had been a personal confidant and advisor to the President of the United States, George Bush. Dr. Mannoia was a big deal. When it was time for Dr. Mannoia to come up and give his talk, there was an eager sense of excitement. He stepped up to the platform without any introduction and he began with these words: “Hi, I’m Kevin Mannoia, a servant of Jesus.” Only after letting the simplicity of that self-introduction set in for half a minute of silence did he proceed to say anything else. It was a poignant and powerful moment. This was a man who deserved accolades and ovations; this was a man who had a pedigree that merited great mention - and yet - he refused it - and gave ‘servant of Jesus’ as his only identification. 2 Cor 4:3-5 NIV And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing. The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel that displays the glory of Christ, who is the image of God. For what we preach is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus’ sake. When a large part of your calling involves talking to people, it can be easy to believe that your opinions are what people need to hear. Your opinions may be interesting, but preaching Jesus Christ the Lord - that’s where the power and authority is! You must resist the urge to deliver political diatribes and personal rants and think it’s building up the church; your calling is to preach Jesus - and to be a servant! If God should give you the grace to assume a leadership position of greater seniority, you may begin to feel entitled to the perks of the powerful position. There may be some special treatment or benefit that is reasonable; for example, you may have access to a private room to change your sweaty shirt between services - and by all means, take advantage of that privilege, for everyone’s sake! But if you ever begin to feel that because you are a leader, you are no longer required to serve, you’ve forgotten Jesus. Your savior Jesus got down on his knees to wash his disciples’ feet; Your savior who you claim to follow said ‘…for the Son of Man did not come to be served but to serve’. Your savior, Jesus, told disciples not to call anyone on earth ‘Father’ - and he instructed the Apostles not to even let anyone call them ‘Rabbi’ (Matthew 23:8-9). So watch out when you begin to insist that people call you by the formal title ‘Pastor’ or ‘Reverend’. Remember Jesus, friend! The Humble King awaits the arising of a generation who will walk with egoless clarity in true service of the One who gave up everything to serve this world, even being despised and dejected to the point of death. ~157~
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If God should be so gracious as to allow you to become a pastor - embrace it as the treasure that it is; but allow yourself to be called by the name your mother gave you without a thought. If someone fails to call you ‘pastor’, it may even be that God is testing your humility. Either you are a pastor, or you aren’t, and whether someone calls you that or not shouldn’t change a thing. Yes, of course, it may be to their benefit to call you by the honorific title to keep in their own mind the Godordained leadership structure that they are part of; if that is truly the reason why you want to be referred to with the title, then go ahead. But if it is because your ego is offended if you aren’t given the deference of the title - go back to Jesus - and repent - that you might be full of the Holy Spirit! When you are truly full of the Holy Spirit, there is much less room for being so full of yourself. 5. Accept your own The light of Jesus Christ is an inexhaustible and limitless resource - and it is a miraculous wonder that God designed you to be a conduit through whom that great unending light could shine. As pastors, we are in a unique position to shine that light so that others can know and experience the fiery bright goodness of God. But you and I must live with an awareness that though the perfect, limitless one shines within us, we ourselves are not limitless; we are completely exhaustible and fallible. 2 Cor. 4:7-10 NIV For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God’s glory displayed in the face of Christ. But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. A jar of clay is a useful vessel. It can be used to contain and transport contents wherever they are needed. But a clay jar can easily be broken. If it is dropped, it will shatter, and if it is left in the freezing cold, it may crack; and if it is placed over fire, it may even explode. As useful as it is, it has its limitations. We servants of God, we also have limitations - and it is healthy for us to accept them. When we accept our limitations, we give more room for our strengths to shine. When we accept our limitations, we see more clearly the areas where we could grow. Accepting our limitations is NOT deciding to define ourselves by them, but to live more fully and freely because of our awareness of them! There are five types of limitations you should acknowledge and accept. A. Accept your
limitations
If you attempt to do ministry without taking care of your physical body, you will inevitably burn out or die a premature death. Either way, you will be limiting the Kingdom impact you could have in this world. As a pastor or minister, it is imperative that you accept your physical ~158~
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limitations and take care of your physical body; exercise and diet matter. Your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit; it is worth taking care of to whatever degree you can. In order to effectively carry out the work of ministry, you need restful sleep. You need physical exercise that can recharge your body for maximum effectiveness. You need to maintain a healthy diet that will provide the right nutrients, and help you to avoid obesity. If you have a chronic illness, you have to pay attention to what your body needs for treatment. As the lead pastor of Centerpoint Church, there is an extremely taxing physical demand in the ministry I do in our weekend services. Preaching and ministering in four weekend services within a 20-hour period is a physically and emotionally draining experience. Don’t get me wrong, I love what I do, and I claim it as a great privilege to be able to do this ministry. But I have come to accept my physical limitations, even as it pertains to engaging in the weekend services. For example, my vocal cords have limitations. If I sing out in worship during all four services, and also preach with intensity at all for services, my vocal cords get so thrashed that by Sunday night I can hardly talk. I have come to recognize that it is unhealthy for me to do ministry with that effect. So, even though I love to sing my heart out and worship, I often refrain from doing so in our weekend services. Instead, I just lift my hands and smile, and only sing a phrase or two. I am absolutely giving God my praise, but I am doing so in a way which acknowledges my physical limitations. B. Accept your
limitations
In pastoral ministry, you will be called upon to come alongside people to provide care, support, love, and supernatural ministry. This is such a great privilege; but there will be times when you recognize that you just don’t have anything in the tank, so to speak. I advise you to accept your emotional limitations. You may find that for whatever reason, there are certain people that you just cannot be there for. It may be because their needs go beyond what you feel you can respond to, or it may be that something about their personal disposition is so abrasive to you that you cannot abide them. There are times when ‘No’ is an acceptable answer, even to someone’s request for your ministry time with them. As you accept your emotional limitations, you must begin to recognize that there are some people that you just can’t let in. There are other people that you can let in, but only in small doses. Take note of the fact that Jesus was selective about who he allowed to be close to him. Jesus chose to bring Peter, James, and John close. Alternatively, the Scriptures show that Jesus did not exercise that same preference regarding Judas or Bartholomew. Another aspect of accepting your emotional limitations is learning when to admit that you have expended all of the emotional energy and reserves that you have. For example, if you have had several pastoral care meetings with people, and the next pastoral care meeting is closing in on the two-hour mark, chances are your tank is empty. You must give yourself permission to bring
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a meeting like that to a close. It is sometimes helpful to say, “I’m so sorry, I have to end our meeting now. I have another meeting that I have to get to.” It may be that your meeting is one that isn’t even on your calendar - a meeting with Jesus that you know you desperately need. Or, it may be a meeting with your mountain bike, that you desperately need to take a ride on! Those are legitimate meetings and you are not required to disclose or defend the details of them to anyone! C. Accept your
limitations
One of the blessings of pastoral ministry is that everyone wants you and needs you - and one of the challenges of pastoral ministry - is that everyone wants you and needs you! The truth is that you have relational limitations, and you will not be able to live up to everyone else’s expectations. Your relational expectations need to be determined between you and the Lord, and you and your leader. If you are married, your spouse needs your time and attention. If you have children, they need your time and attention as well, and you must give it to them. You must develop the discipline of saying no to people without any guilt. D. Accept your
limitations
If you go into pastoral ministry, you will have chosen a career path that may not reward you with as much money as a career in business would. You need to accept that, and the financial limitations that are implicit in the path you’ve chosen, without resentment. It is possible that in time, God, in His goodness may find ways to bless you financially, but it may be a while. Accept the fact that you have financial limitations. Learn to use personal budgeting software, and exercise wisdom and will power regarding your spending patterns. If you do not accept the fact that you have financial limitations, you may end up suffering under a mountain of debt and it will be detrimental to your ministry. E. Accept your
limitations
There are many different kinds of pastoral ministry. You will have certain areas of ministry that you will be graced by God to do exceedingly well. There will likely be other areas of ministry that you will not do as well; accept the fact that you also have ministerial limitations. Remember the metaphor that the scripture uses to describe the church is that it is a body. Not everyone is supposed to be the same kind of part; your ministerial limitations are a reflection of the unique design of God for your contribution to His Kingdom, so embrace them! Because you do NOT excel in this one area, you ARE able to excel in that other area. This is God’s handiwork - don’t be jealous because you can’t seem to do what ‘they’ do; be grateful for the way your ministerial limitations cause you to do what you CAN do well!
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6. Seize the moments to The ministry of Jesus starts with ‘come and see’. The woman at the well said it: “Come and see a man who told me everything about my life!” At some point, we did ‘come and see’; maybe it was a youth group meeting or a church service - but at the heart of it was Jesus, and his people invited us to ‘come and see’ him. His ministry then moves to ‘come and follow’ … Jesus invites us to come and follow him as his disciples. And we do - we learn the ways of the Kingdom of God, we see heaven open; miracles unfold, hope rises, and transformation happens in our lives; following Jesus is wonderful! And the journey with Jesus then continues with the invitation to ‘come and die’. His message was, “Take up your cross and follow me.” (Matthew 16:24); “Anyone who loses their life for my sake will find it!” (Matthew 10:39); “Greater love has no one than this - that he would lay down his life for his friends.” (John 15:13). In these many instances, Jesus was issuing an invitation to ‘come and die’ - and this notion is further affirmed by the words of the Apostle Paul to the ministers of the Gospel. 2 Cor. 4:11-12 NIV For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body. So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you. As a pastor, you will experience this reality of being given over to death for Jesus’ sake in surprising ways. Let me describe what I mean. There was a man who wrote me an email telling me that he thought I was a hypocritical and unchristlike person because I was not willing to be his friend and spend time hanging out with him. His words were far more invective - but that was the essence of his communication. I wanted to just ignore the man, and not give him the time of day! If I was going to respond - I wanted to give him a piece of my mind, and put him in His place! But I sensed that Jesus wanted something different. Jesus wanted me to be ‘given over to death’ for His sake; He wanted my ego to die. He wanted my right to be right and prove myself right to die. He wanted my defensiveness to die. He wanted my self-absorption to die. So - I took some time to be in God’s presence where I could absorb His death-defying love. I then called the man and asked if we could talk about his message. I then said “I want to apologize to you for giving you a poor reflection of the love of God in how I responded to you the other day. I know that my answer to you came with an unkind tone, and it hurt your heart. You were expecting your pastor to have a loving response, and instead, you got a curt and negative reaction. My way of answering you was wrong, and you deserved better. I’m really and truly sorry.” I think he was surprised because his letter to me had been heated and hard-charging with accusations and name-calling. But by making the choice to come and die in that moment, life was ushered in. The man ended up becoming a member of Centerpoint Church until he moved. There will be countless moments for you to have the opportunity to come and die when you are ~161~
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a pastor. When you see people posting inaccurate and hurtful things about you or your ministry online - come and die. Don’t even enter the fray. When you had a great idea for a ministry program but your colleagues or your board won’t let it go forward, come and die. When you thought you would get a chance for a promotion, but someone else got it instead - come and die. Come and die, because you know that death can’t hold you, and the path to resurrection life is trod with come and die moments! 7. Minister out of resurrection-based
!
If you were working on an assembly line, you could approach your work with a sense of routine and repetition; the parts come down the conveyor belt, and you assemble them. There is no wonder, no challenge, no hope required. But ministry is no such work. As a pastor, almost everything you do will require you to believe in your God and what He can do in you and through you. The essence of the Christian faith is a belief in the resurrection of Jesus; the worst status or circumstance a person can know - death - defeated by His mighty power! This belief in the resurrection is meant to provide the basis for us to rise up in an overcoming spirit over any challenge or trial we face. 2 Cor 4:13-15 NIV “It is written: “I believed; therefore I have spoken.” Since we have that same spirit of faith, we also believe and therefore speak, because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you to himself. All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.” As a pastor, you must never allow yourself to minister out of mere religious obligation. The world needs pastors and ministers who will minister out of resurrection-based faith! So choose this; choose to be the kind of pastor who will minister out of resurrection based faith in every ministry endeavor you set your mind and heart to. This applies to that message you have to write and give in just a couple of days or a couple of hours, even though you don’t have a clue yet what you’re even speaking on. This applies to that difficult meeting with that team member - the one you are dreading talking to because you don’t want to confront them. This applies to that pastoral counseling session you are going to do with that family that seems like a lost cause. This applies to that team gathering you are setting up; it could be just another routine team meeting - or - if you come ready to minister out of resurrection-based faith, it could be the team gathering that shifts the whole direction of the ministry! So bring it! Bring that resurrection-based faith to everything you touch in ministry - and watch the risen King Jesus demonstrate His resurrection goodness in and through you once again!
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8. Don’t
, and do always
A while back, I got a call from an older mentor-friend. I saw his name on my phone, and I was glad he was calling me. I answered, and we greeted each other - and then he said, with his slightly southern drawl, “How are you doing, John? Actually - wait - let me guess; you’re exhausted and you want to quit!” I shot back, “How’d you know that?” He said, “Because you’re a preacher, and it’s Monday morning!” We both had a good laugh - but truthfully, that was exactly how I was feeling. Many pastors - especially those who preach - struggle with a weekly rhythm that includes utter and complete depletion on Mondays. It is a physiological phenomenon related to the bio-physiological reality of the endocrine system. You stand on your feet, jump around, shouting and expressing, opening your heart for full-throttle outpouring and engagement. You’re fully physically engaged, emotionally engaged, spiritually engaged, relationally engaged - and you’re flooring the gas pedal of your body’s energy management systems. When you come down from this exertion, your body replaces the adrenaline with cortisol - and the hormone produces inflammation throughout your body that causes you to feel a sense of brain fog and exhaustion. Your thinking is cloudy, your energy is low, and your tank is empty. It is very easy to feel like quitting on any given Monday - and yes, I’m a preacher, but that’s no exaggeration. 2 Cor 4:16-18 NIV Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. I want you to imagine what wonderful things might happen if you’d just stay and not give up. If you don’t give up - God might allow a testimony to break forth through your life and ministry that could not happen any other way. Don’t give up - you never know, but maybe the prize is just around the next bend! Don’t give up - there may be a breakthrough for you after just one more year. Don’t give up! But do look up. Look into the faithful eyes of your heavenly Father - fix your eyes on the Unseen One who is eternal - and receive from Him the strength you need to be able to keep going. Yes, there are challenges today -and troubles - but they are ‘light and momentary’. There is an unseen, eternal dimension from where you will receive renewing strength. Several months ago, I was driving home from Idyllwild, California, down a winding mountain road. I’d traveled this road many times, as Idylwild is a place we frequent as a family, especially in winter; it’s the closest place we can go to experience some snow play. I was zipping down the mountain road, and a sign caught my eye: “Scenic overlook ahead”. I’d driven this road many times, but I’d never noticed the sign, much less the actual overlook. I decided to check out the scenic overlook. I pulled off to the overlook and got out of the car. The valley spread out below ~163~
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me like a Van Gogh in Arles painting - fall colors bursting in montage crescendo against the blue sky. I stood there and took one deep breath after another and thanked God for His glorious splendor on display in this unique scenic overlook - one that I could have easily ignored, and had many times. As a pastor, you must discipline yourself to stop and enjoy the scenic overlooks. Take time to look at the big picture of all the unseen goodness God has been at work to accomplish through your efforts. Take stock of the families who’ve been built up, the people who’ve come to know Jesus, the lonely ones who’ve been loved, the needy ones who’ve been provided for… these are the eternal things, the real reason you stepped into pastoral ministry. It’s all too easy to race past them into the valley of work, decisions, planning, meetings and more - but your soul needs the view to the unseen that only such ‘scenic overlook’ moments can afford. Don’t give up; but do always look up into the glorious face of God and see how He is at work in and through the ministry you do, in marvelous, unseen ways! 9. Trust God with the
, he’s
with the tithes
If you embrace a calling in pastoral ministry as a vocation, you will eventually receive all or part of your livelihood from the church or ministry in the form of a paycheck. This is a blessing from God - and it is Biblical; 1 Timothy 5:18 says, “Do not muzzle an ox while it is treading out the grain,” and “The worker deserves his wages.” This is God’s Word, confirming the worth and value of the work of a pastor. Not all pastors receive a paycheck; many pastors follow Paul’s ‘tentmaking’ model; in one season of Paul’s life as a church-planting pastor, Paul made his living as a tentmaker so he could serve the church without needing payment. Many pastors today are bi-vocational in a similar way - and this is also honorable. But if you do receive some or all of your livelihood from your employment with the church, thank God for the great blessing that it is. Bear in mind that the only reason the church has funds from which to pay you is because every week, God’s people give their tithes to the church. The traditional teaching of the church is that a household should take ten percent of their household income and give it to the church as an act of worship. For the average household in Murrieta, California whose annual household income is $90,000 a year, this means giving $9,000 a year to the church. Practically speaking, here’s what that looks like; the combined total income of the husband and wife is $3,750 every two weeks. If they are tithers, they are giving the church a deposit of $375 every two weeks. For a frame of reference, $375 is the amount of a car payment for a new Honda Civic. The monthly total they will give to the church is $750 - that would be enough for a monthly payment on a Mercedes. Instead, they’re driving their older Kia - so they can be sure to tithe. ~164~
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Why do they do it? Because they believe in the mission of Jesus Christ in the world - and they believe in the way your church is fulfilling that mission. Because they tithe - they and hundreds of other families, the church has funds to pay you and the other staff a salary. You must never lose sight of this or take it for granted. You must remain vigilant about having a grateful heart for the salary you may receive - because it comes from money that has been worshipfully given to Jesus in His church. You must guard your heart against feelings of entitlement to more. Trust that God is at work through the leadership decisions which determine your pay. If you dispute that, let your rationale be because of the quantifiable results you’ve contributed to in the church not just because you want more money. Every time you receive a paycheck from the church, God is trusting you with the tithes. Don’t neglect your responsibilities; have a holy reverence for the value of the money you receive, and do your very best, as one who is being paid with tithe money. If you have an area of responsibility in the church which includes a budget, the same logic applies. If you have responsibility for an area of the church’s budget, God is trusting you with the tithes. This does not mean you should never spend any money. If the leadership process has determined a certain budget is allotted for your ministry area, you should spend those funds to get the maximum impact possible. But be cautious about spending the church’s funds on that which will only benefit you and other paid staff; and when you do spend the church’s money, look for the best value; God is trusting you with the tithes. But you must also trust God with the tithes. Even though you earn a paycheck from the church, you must tithe to the church from which you receive your pay and to which you belong. It is unthinkable to me that anyone would take a paycheck from the church but not also tithe to the church, knowing that their income is the result of hardworking people giving tithes to the church. You must embrace the principle of the tithe. Read Malachi chapter 3 and dwell on the revelation God will show you. Then, analyze your income. Determine what the tithe amount should be if you would legitimately tithe at least 10%, and then do so. At Centerpoint Church, it is an expectation and a requirement that every staff person tithe to Centerpoint Church - and I believe that as the staff and leaders tithe, God’s blessings in our lives and in the church flow all the more. Finally, if you attain a position of senior leadership in the church, you will discover that the matter of the tithes is a weighty one. When you aren’t the senior leader, it is someone else’s responsibility to ensure that you get a paycheck and that it clears. But when you are in the senior leadership role, you feel the weight of what is happening with the giving. You know that if the giving does not come in in accordance with the budget, the funds ultimately won’t be there to continue paying the staff, or the rent, or the mortgage, or the power, etc. It can become an oppressively heavy matter; on top of that, there will always be people who are glad to partake of what the church offers, but scoff at you for talking about money and asking people to tithe. If you attain such a leadership position, you must trust God with the tithes. Yes, you will need to teach people about tithing, and urge them to do so - but in the end, you can only trust God with the tithes - believing Him to see to it that whatever funds are needed will be provided. ~165~
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GROUP DISCUSSION: 1. Share about a leader you know who is confident; how does their confidence come across, and what has it made possible?
2. Describe what inspiration is - and why it is so important for pastoral leadership. Share about some of the things you do to get inspired and stay inspired.
3. Share about an experience you’ve observed where a pastor’s lack of honesty and authenticity was damaging to the ministry. How could it have been different?
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4. Share about a leader you know who has preached Jesus well - instead of preaching ‘themselves’.
5. Why is it vital for a pastor to have a servant’s heart?
RESPONSE: Write a short paragraph of response related to this chapter’s teaching. 1. Share about the necessity of accepting your limitations; reference the five areas of limitations and share why it is crucial for a pastor to accept theirs.
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2. Contrast Jesus’ invitation to live the abundant life with the teaching about ‘come and die’, and how it will be necessary at times, as a pastor, to ‘come and die’ - and why.
3. Describe how having a resurrection-based faith should affect your approach to ministry.
4. How can you prepare yourself for the moments when you might want to give up on pastoral ministry?
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5. Describe what tithing is, and why it is vital for the work of the church that God’s people tithe.
6. Briefly describe your own practice regarding budgeting and tithing, and why you feel this does or does not matter in relation to your possible work in ministry.
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LIFELONG DIRECTIVES ACTIVATION
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RECOMMENDED RESOURCES WHICH HAVE SHAPED MY VIEWS AND TEACHINGS IN THIS BOOK ON PASTORING:
On Change: LEADING CHANGE by John Kotter SWITCH by Chip & Dan Heath CHANGE YOUR CHURCH FOR GOOD by Brad Powell
***
On Pastoring: THE PASTOR - A MEMOIR by Eugene Petereson IN THE NAME OF JESUS by Henri J. Nouwen THE CONTEMPLATIVE PASTOR - RETURN TO THE ART OF SPIRITUAL DIRECTION
by Eugene Peterson THE DISCIPLE-MAKING PASTOR by Bill Hull THE MINISTER AS SHEPHERD by Charles Jefferson UNDER THE UNPREDICTABLE PLANT - VOCATIONAL HOLINESS by Eugene Peterson PASTORAL PRACTICES - A WESLEYAN PARADIGM by Mark Maddix FIVE SMOOTH STONES FOR PASTORAL WORK by Eugene Peterson THE WOUNDED HEALER - MINISTRY IN CONTEMPORARY SOCIETY by Henri J. Nouwen IN SEARCH OF TIMOTHY by Tony Cooke THE PASTOR’S HANDBOOK by John Bisagno and Rick Warren
PASTORING Th is course is based on a foundational principle from Philippians 4:9 (P49) which says: "Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me - put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you." Over eight weeks, you will get an opportunity to learn from my personal experience in the practical aspects of pastoral ministry. Th is class will help you to establish a personal pastoral theology based on practical ministry application, gain practical skills in how to minister the sacraments, and understand how to officiate weddings and funerals. Th is class will give you a framework for leadership culture in pastoral ministry and help you discover the practical merit of Charismatic Wesleyan theology. Th is class will provide you with tools for all aspects of functional practical pastoral ministry.
KEY OUTCOMES To formulate a practical theology of pastoral ministry
To discover how to function well in a supportive pastoral role
To understand the meaning of the sacraments and how to administer them
To learn the foundational premise of Charismatic Wesleyan grace theology
To learn the foundational tools for functional pastoral ministry in pastoral visitation and counseling
To gain the skills for officiating weddings and funerals To develop a foundation for leadership culture in a pastoral context
To become aware of the issues of personal character and interpersonal dynamics, and how these issues affect pastoral ministry
To discover the tools and processes for leading change in a ministry or pastoral context
PASTOR JOHN HANSEN John Hansen is a passionate leader, pastor, and author. The lead pastor at Centerpoint Church in Murrieta, CA, he is known for creative and practical biblical teachings that are inspiring, full of practical applications for life, and help people to experience life-change in Christ. His desire is to ignite passion in others for the Holy Spirit, which he carries out in a naturally-supernatural way. He has been married to his wife, Ann, for more than 15 years. They have founded Centerpoint Ministries and Filled to Flow Ministries. He has taken Centerpoint Church from a small gathering of 65 people to a thriving church of several thousand. John earned his Masters in Divinity from Fuller Seminary. He lives in Murrieta, CA with Ann and their three children, and spends his free time paragliding and biking. C E N T E R P O I N T S C H O O L O F M I N I S T RY
PRICE: $20.00