DEAR CARL by Anna Friend

Hello, Dear Carl fans

I am thankful for your support of Carl’s mom. She has made a fresh start in the new year. In her mid- 80s, she thrives for quality of life and establishing a legacy of family love.

Carl’s mom has lived in North Carolina for most of her life. She is a southern transplant and has enjoyed the culture, hospitality, and high regard for kin—family closeness. She became a widow in her early 40s and has only one son. Carl was just entering college when his dad died. Carl married a beautiful woman (Donna) with ties in Arizona. He moved and established his home in Arizona soon after college. Carl has 2 sons and is a grandfather of 3 children. Carl’s mom had friends and community work she enjoyed in North Carolina that kept her from moving to Arizona upon her husband’s death. She had lived in the home where she and her husband shared most of their married lives. She moved into a senior living cottage a few years ago. Every week, she sits at her dining table and writes her son a handwritten letter, though he calls her almost every Sunday.

New this year—Carl’s mom is now living in her son’s home. She made an abrupt decision to move to Arizona upon the death of a close friend, and at the request of her daughter-in-law. Although Carl and his mother now have time for in-depth conversations, which she relishes, she has decided to continue to write letters to Carl each week. She is documenting her life and life lessons in them. She folds the letters neatly, places them in envelopes, seals, and dates them. She then stores them in a large wooden box that she inherited from her friend, Shirley. She wants to leave Carl his small family’s history and tie them with the assurance that her Lord and Savior was with her, her husband, their families, and Carl, even when they did not know Him.

My dearest son, I hope you find the letters I left you as a comfort. I am feeling well and alive writing this one to you but again, as you are reading these, I am now in heaven with Jesus. Sometimes writing the name of Jesus still causes such awe in my spirit. There were days in my life when His name was an expression of surprise or even as an expletive. His name now resonates awesome power as I speak it. He is close like a brother and yet I uphold Him with much reverence. Having a spiritual relationship with Jesus has opened my eyes to see things so differently than before.

Dear Carl,

Today looking across the street at the side yard of our neighbor, I saw a vibrant purple flower on a cactus. Who knew? I had no idea that something so fearsome could be so beautiful. Spring has a way of showing out! The Lord stirs hearts in the spring. Many people start cleaning out and cleaning up. They start sprucing up their homes and gardens. They plant and they wait. Soon they create new spaces to live in and enjoy. Flowers bloom and life seems to have a fresh start. Faith can work that way too, Carl. We trek through some dark spaces and seasons in life. Illnesses, pandemics, death, relationship struggles, and financial crises are part of the journey. They are termed seasons of suffering. We often partake in the sufferings of Christ, but He assures us that all things will work out for good to those who love Him. We pull through those challenging times and our faith grows.

Not all bad things that prove good are rooted in deep spiritual revelations, however. I am reminded of a now comical incident which at first was a huge disappointment and frustration. When your dad and I were married, we took our honeymoon a few days later than our wedding day. We were traveling to Florida for our honeymoon on an airplane. In those days, passengers dressed up to fly on an airline. It was a big event, and a certain decorum was adhered to. I had spent the morning putting on several pairs of hosiery because my polished manicured fingernails kept puncturing them. Your dad did not rush me and spent his own significant time making sure his shoes were polished anew since wearing on our wedding day. We had to travel over an hour to get to the airport. I was in a baby blue suit, with a white pill-styled hat and white short gloves. He was in a suit, tie, slicked-backed hair, and his polished shoes. We walked up to the ticket counter and soon found out that we were more than fashionably late. The flight had left over an hour previously. Your dad had assumed the wrong time of the flight. We were too distracted to recheck the tickets to plan our arrival at the airport. We had to fly stand by that morning. I was angry and dad was disappointed in both me and his negligence. Your dad had arranged for champagne and flowers on the missed flight. The airline staff diligently maneuvered us onto another flight. We had the very back row and last seats. By the time lunch was served, I was calm and loving on my husband. The stewardess, as addressed then, served us beautiful meals before apologizing that the airlines ran out of lunches to serve us. We were served first-class dinners instead, with champagne! God even cares about the little things. He wants us to know He will make good out of our challenges and disappointments. Sometimes it is not always that obvious, but keep your eyes on Him and He will grow your faith.

As for spring cleaning, Donna and I spent the morning cleaning out the pantry and kitchen cupboards. Tomorrow is recycling pickup day. I have no idea what is recyclable and not. I know I used to keep jars and cans under the sink because they were reusable, and I remember you being frustrated when packing my kitchen and told me I should have recycled them. I thought I was. Anyway, Donna was just as frustrated with me as she had to dig out several items I had tossed in the trash. She was kind and didn’t say a word, but plastic items tossed in the big blue can make quite a racket. My dear son, your wife is beautiful, but she is not her best with sweaty brows and a red face she smiled at me, which appeared within 30 minutes into our cleaning out. Do you think the discovery of a dozen empty jars and cans under the sink set her off? I couldn’t help it. I hated to see them thrown away, and no one told me about the big blue bin.

Think of me loving you, son. Mom

"And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28 KJV)

Anna Friend