Bullying Not Tolerated! by Joan Renfrow

At the beginning of every school year on the first day of school, when I would have a little talk with my class about my expectations, one of the things I always told them was that we are a family like it or not, and one thing I would not tolerate was bullying. We were to be kind, take up for one another.

When I was a little girl, I was very quiet and shy in front of other people, not necessarily with the family. That kind of put me in danger of being bullied. Mainly because I wouldn’t take up for myself, or if I saw someone who made fun of me, I would tremble inside and turn and go the other way. Some of those people lived in my neighborhood, and a few of them went to school with me and were in my class. They never physically abused me but made fun of me and laughed at me. That really affected my self-esteem, and I think I brought that into adulthood. Words and actions and making fun of people can hurt for years and years. I was a normal looking child, intelligent even if I do say so myself, LOL, and even talented. I was not wild as a teenager and I was very close to my family, so maybe that made me a target. As I’ve grown older, and maybe wiser, I realize that so many things that have happened in my life have caused me to bully myself.

Even in the same way that those boys did when I was younger. I make fun of myself, laugh at myself, compare myself and even think that the bad things that have happened to me I deserve, or I’ve caused in some way.

On most days I have to say to myself, “girl get up and wash your face and come on Joan, get over it.” I have to remind myself that I am made in the image of God and that makes me beautiful. God does not cause theses bad things that happened to me, but we live in a world of sin, selfishness, and a roaring lion walking around seeking who he may devour-Satan. He is as real as the tree, the birds, everything that I am looking at right now. He wants me to look in the mirror and see those scars of bullying, not feeling like I’m worthy, that I deserve to have this cancer, all the negative thoughts. I know all of this seems pessimistic, but I’m just being real. So many people live with scars of verbal abuse that last a lifetime and something you may fight every single day and sometimes leads to depression. I know this sounds so simple, but God really is the answer. He is kind; he weeps when we weep; he is Love, a healer, a friend that sticks closer than a brother. No matter what age we are, he has a plan. He is not a bully laughing at us, making fun of us, belittling us.

Maybe you’re like me and you’re in a place that can cause you to feel depressed or discouraged. I have two good friends that have lost children. I cannot imagine. But I look at them so many times and they are so optimistic and smiling even though they hurt inside. I feel so guilty when I look at them and what they’ve been through. I’m getting better. I’m going to beat this cancer. Join hands with me today, remember he loves you and me, count your blessings, close your eyes, think about all the people that you love and that love you back.

This was on my heart, and it may be just for me. But maybe there’s somebody out there that I can help in some small way. Maybe you’re dealing with the things I’m dealing with as well. Remember Jesus is by our side and He never ever leaves us. Girl, get up and wash your face.

Joan Renfrow is originally from Hartsville, SC. Joan taught school for 34 years and was at Hudson Elementary for 19. She resides in North Carolina with her husband, Paul, who is the worship leader at First Baptist HUDSON. They have 2 children Sallie and James.

Joan and Paul Renfrow

Joan and Paul Renfrow