Caring for Our Grandparents’ Heart by Khay Arcos

I grew up living with my grandparents, and many of my friends grew up the same. I was raised in a neighborhood where the parents would go to work, leaving the children in the care of their grandparents. It was beautiful to live with them because they are more caring and less strict than my parents. However, they are old, so I do most of the chores for them. They often insist on helping, but I don’t want to let them work, afraid they might get themselves hurt.

A close friend of mine also lives with her grandparents. Like mine, because of her grandparents’ age, they aren’t capable of doing many of the household chores. One time I stayed overnight at their house because of school work. I found out that it is her grandparents who do the morning cooking. It was easy to judge her in my mind, we were already both awake, but I wondered how she could let her grandparents do the cooking? I pitied the oldies, and I resented my friend for making them work when she is still young, with lots of energy to work for them.

After our classes that day, I couldn’t resist asking her why she makes her grannies do those things. Her reply humbled me and gave me a new perspective. She said, “If I don’t let them do it, they will think they’re useless, and if I do it all, they would think they would be okay to leave me.” She told me she never wanted her grandparents to think she would be better off without them or make them feel useless. I was ashamed of myself for seeing just the surface. She also told me that, every night, she prepared the utensils, the rice, and the eggs so that in the morning everything would be ready. And she would always rise the same time as them in the morning to watch them closely. She wasn’t just staring at them, but making sure they didn’t hurt themselves.

It reminded me of God’s fourth commandment. It says, “Honor thy father and your mother.” The way she treats her grandparents reminded me that honoring our parents, our elders means respecting their decisions. She showed me that as children, we must help our elders overcome stress and depression too. Elders, especially the older ones, tend to make a lot of drama, and because of their age, it is common that they may feel useless.

After that incident, I let my grandmom and dad wash the dishes. They look so happy washing the dishes together. I always thought letting them eat without making them work would make them feel blessed. But as I watched them, God revealed to me He created hands because there is pleasure in working too. Nobody wanted to be treated as a heavy suitcase to carry.

I am encouraging everyone to take care of their parents, both physically and mentally. Sometimes letting them help you, helps them too.

Khay L. Arcos is 23 years old, from Albay, Philippines. She graduated from Bicol University, where she earned her Bachelor of Science in Information Technology degree. She is a writer by day and a reader by night. Her work focuses on motivating and inspiring the youth, mobilizing and encouraging them, especially those who feel disheartened in life. She will continue to share her words as she goes on pursuing her career.