CRAM Magazine Issue 2

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CRAM

m agaz ine is s ue TW O

January 2007


D AVID VINCENT G AGNE

G ERTRUDE G RO M LEY

D AVE H

Nicola Cook , a re s ide ntof Ph ilade lph ia s uburbs , s pe nds m os t of h e r tim e lis te ning to m us ic, re ading, w atch ing m ovie s , and w riting w h ate ve r cre e ps into h e r h e ad. Intrigue d by h is tory and th e dark e r s ide of life , s h e can ofte n be found w ande ring around an art m us e um (us ually in th e m e die val s e ction), or s trol ling th rough a ce m e te ry (m e e ting ne w pe opl e ). To re ad m ore of Nicola’ s w ork , pleas e vis it [W riting.Com /auth ors /nicola]. Y ou can contacth e r at [nicola.c@ com cas t.ne t].

D avid [davidgagne .ne t] h as be e n blogging s ince late 19 9 9 . H e h as be e n de ve loping e nte rpris e and inte rne t-bas e d te ch nology s olutions for ove r a de cade and h as w ork e d e xte ns ive ly in th e fie lds of te lecom m unications , m e dical ins urance claim s m anage m e nt, fre igh tlogis tics , and e lectronic e nte rtainm e ntm e dia. D avid h as a w e alth of e xpe rie nce m anaging bus ine s s data s ys te m s and is flue nt in a w ide range of program m ing language s . H e graduate d from th e H onors D e partm e ntof th e Unive rs ity of Florida (Go Gators !) w ith a BA in Englis h , and is curre ntly th e Vice Pre s ide ntof Te ch nology and Engine e ring for an inte rne tm ark e ting com pany in Los Ange les , California.

Ge rtrude Grom ley e njoys h os ting w e e k ly draw ing partie s in h e r s pare tim e , w h ile s tudying Art Th e rapy atM arylhurs tUnive rs ity. Sh e h as re ce ntly be gun m ak ing coffe e for th e love ly Portlandia citize ns and s tudying M yth ology.

D ave is a 22 ye ar old s tude ntatth e Unive rs ity of O re gon double m ajoring in Planning, Public Policy and M anage m e ntas w e llas PoliticalScie nce . H ope fully, th is tim e ne xtye ar h e w illbe in an Urban Planning graduate s ch ool. D ave h as a pas s ion for allth ings college football,s o if you e ve r fe e l lik e learning aboutit, leth im k now [dh olzapf@ uore gon.e du].

O LZ APFEL

CO VER PH O TO 8BALLER /STO CK .XCH NG PH O TO DANO /FLICK R

NICO LA CO O K

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Contributor List


EW

H

O LZ APFEL

M attis a double m ajor in Sociology and Ps ych ol ogy curre ntly atte nding th e Unive rs ity of Colorado in Boulde r. H e is a s e nior and w illgraduate in M ay of 2007 and is now w ork ing on coauth oring a s ociological e xpe rim e ntto be s ubm itte d for publication. H e fre q ue ntly vis its Euge ne and is a big s upporte r of both h is s ch ooland th e Unive rs ity of O re gon.

G UY K AW ASAK I

JO ANNE M O O RE

R O N S PENCER

Guy K aw as ak i [blog.guyk aw as ak i.com ] is a m anaging dire ctor of Garage Te ch nology Ve nture s , an e arlys tage ve nture capitalfirm . Pre vious ly, h e w as an Apple Fe llow atApple Com pute r, Inc. Guy is th e auth or of e igh tbook s including Th e Artof th e Start, R ules for R e volutionarie s , H ow to D rive Y our Com pe tition Crazy, Se lling th e D re am , and Th e M acintos h W ay. H e h as a BA from Stanford Unive rs ity and an M BA from UCLA as w e llas an h onorary doctorate from Babs on College .

Jo Anne is a fre e lance w rite r w ork ing and living in Cincinnati, O h io. Sh e is curre ntly blogging at: [s k e ptik one .blogs pot.com ]. A portfolio of e s s ays , colum ns , s h ort s torie s and poe try is also available at: [w riting.com /auth ors /m oore jo].

R on [uore gon.e du/~ rs pe nce 1/] (s ite s tillunde r cons truction) is a curre ntUnive rs ity of O re gon arch ite cture s tude nt. H is profe s s ionalinte re s ts lie in urban re ne w al, s us tainable urban h ous ing as w e llas urban trans portation and infras tructure . If R on e ve r ge ts a m om e ntof fre e tim e h e e njoys k e e ping up on th e late s tm ovie s look ing for e xciting unk now n bands and drifting th rough th e page s of a good book . Curre ntw ork h as R on place d on a de s ign proje ctfor a w ood s ailboat cons truction s ocie ty in Victoria, BC;de aling w ith th e juxtapos ition of indus try, re cre ation, and e ducation as w e llas th e cons truction of a w e bs ite th at docum e nts h is pre vious and pas t w ork . Y ou can contactron by e m ail[raz.s tudio@ gm ail.com ]

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M ATTH


JASO N R. W ALLACE

ANDREW W O M ACK

ASAD Y AW AR

Gina Trapani is a w e b program m e r and lead e ditor atLife h ack e r.com , a w e bl og on s oftw are and productivity. H e r firs tbook , Life h ack e r: 88 Te ch Trick s to Turboch arge Y our D ay is now available atbook s tore s online and off.

A h igh s ch ools e nior living in Ge orgia and aim ing to atte nd Stanford and m ajor in Englis h w ith a cre ative w riting e m ph as is . Jas on h as w ork e d w ith oth e r online publications be fore , s uch as th e Guth an, Suture - A Lite rary R e s ource and th e Gam e r's Log [w iine e dh e lp.blogs pot.com ]. Fe arles s w as pre vious ly fe ature d in th e fifth q uarte rly is s ue of Los t Caus e M agazine . H e h as h ad a book publis h e d, Am algam ation: W ork s of R h ym e , R h yth m and R e as on, available at [w w w .lulu.com /jas onrw allace ]. M e m be r of Inte rnationalTh e s pian Troupe #529 7 (lots of acting...), Type I diabe tic, caffe ine addict, Guitar H e ro I and II aficionado.

Th e M orningNe w s .org Founding Editor Andre w W om ack w as born in Ne w O rleans , gre w up in H ous ton, gotm atriculate d in Aus tin, and now live s and w ork s in Brook lyn, w h e re h e live s w ith h is w ife and no cats . H e co-founde d Th e M orning Ne w s w ith R os e crans Baldw in in 19 9 9 and h as notbe e n off th e com pute r for m ore th an a s ix-h our s tre tch s ince .

As ad Y aw ar w as born in 19 80. H e re ad Socialand PoliticalScie nce s atth e Unive rs ity of Cam bridge . As ad is a fe ature d w rite r for th e inte rnationale dition of South K ore an ne w s pape r O h m yNe w s ;h e also w ork s in th e legalindus try. H e h as s ubs tantiale xpe rie nce in journalis m , film m ak ing and ne w m e dia. As ad w as th e younge s te ve r accre dite d re porte r to profe s s ionally cove r a FIFA W orld Cup w h e n age d 18 ye ars and five m onth s in 19 9 8. H is pie ce e ntitled 'Th e End of Se x?'w as fe ature d in W ire d.com . As ad is s ingle and live s in London.

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G INA TRAPANI


E

Jo Anne M oore

WH

6 8 9 11 13 16 18 23 24 26

ACCIDENTAL PRESIDENT

AT H APPENS

TO Y O UR BO DY IF Y O U D RINK A CO K E R IGH

W ade M e re dith

FIVE TIPS FO R S M ARTER PLAYLISTS David Vince ntGagne

D EATH O F TH

E

AM ERICAN NO VEL

Jas on R. W al l ace

TH

E

TO P 10 ALBUM S O F 2006

Andre w W om ack

TH

E

10/20/30 R ULE O F PO W ERPO INT

Guy K aw as ak i

VIVA LAS D UBAI As ad Yaw ar

TH

E

M YTH

O F M ARXISM

M atth e w H ol z apfe l

WH

AT IS

ART TH

ERAPY ?

Ge rtrude Grom l ey

TH

E

BEST APPS O F 2006

Gina Trapani

T NO W ?

BCS BLUNDERS Dave H ol z apfe l

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BACK PAGE

ISSUE TW

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EARD

TRUTH

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TH


@

JO ANNE M O O RE S K EPTIK O NE .BLO GSPO T.CO M

PH O TO FARLANE /FLICK R

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TH E A CCID ENTAL PR ESID ENT


SCO TT ABLEM AN /FLICK R

h ands h ak e . Itw as re al.Solid. Firm . Frie ndly. M r. Ford alw ays re m e m be re d your nam e . I w as n’ ta national re porte r at th e tim e , but I cove re d h im s e ve ral tim e s , at diffe re nt tim e s around th e country, and afte r th at firs ttim e , h e alw ays called m e Jo. Back in th e day, be fore H inck ly s h ot R e agan, it w as pos s ible to ge t clos e to th e pre s ide nt and s om e tim e s M r. Ford w ould h ang around and ch at. H e talke d s ports , curre nt e ve nts , and s om e tim e s e ve n as k e d about your life . Noth ing s pe cial.Jus tch itch atbe fore th ings turne d official. I lik e d h im and look e d forw ard to s e e ing h im , e ve n w h e n th e re w as no ch itch at. H is e ye s alw ays s aid “h e llo” e ve n w h e n h e couldn’ t. Ge rald Ford and oth e rs , lik e Barry Goldw ate r, Jim m y Carte r, Ge orge M cGove rn, Ed M us k ie , Tip O ’ Ne ill, are th e las t of a dying bre e d of bigge r th an life m e n, w h o ne ve r took th e m s e lve s s o s e rious ly th at th e y couldn’ t conne ct w ith jus tplain folks . Ge rald Ford w as a nice guy, pe riod. R e s tin pe ace , M r. Pre s ide nt.

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UntilBillClinton cam e along, Ge rald R . Ford w as m y favorite pre s ide nt. H e is s til lin m y top tw o. H e ne ve r inte nde d to be pre s ide nt, jus t lik e I ne ve r inte nde d to be a re porte r. Th e s tars line d up and w e did w h atw e did. H e w as s e lecte d in 19 73, to re place Spiro T. Agne w , as R ich ard Nixon’ s vice pre s ide nt. H e as ce nde d to th e W h ite H ous e w h e n Nixon w as force d to re s ign. M r, Ford is th e only m an to s e rve as vice pre s ide nt and pre s ide nt w ith out be ing e lecte d to e ith e r office . W h ile al lth is w as going on, I w as trying to figure out w h at I w ante d to do w ith m y life . I h ad no clear plan. I ne ve r th ough t a black w om an could h ave a future in radio and te levis ion. But it h appe ne d and in 19 76, I m e t Ge rald Ford, pre s ide ntof th e Unite d State s of Am e rica. I m e t h im w h e n I w as a rook ie re porte r and h e w as a rook ie pre s ide nt. H e alw ays h ad an e as ygoing w ay about h im . H e alw ays s m iled, look e d you in th e e ye and if you w e re clos e e nough , s h ook your h and. H is h ands h ak e w as n’ t th at ph ony politician w e t fis h


W ADE M EREDITH H EALTH BO LT.NET E DITO R

H

ave you e ve r w onde re d w h y Cok e com e s w ith a s m ile?It’ s be caus e it ge ts you h igh . Th e y took th e cocaine outal m os ta h undre d ye ars ago. Y ou k now w h y?Itw as re dundant. • IN TH E FIR ST 10 M INUTES: 10 te as poons of s ugar h ityour s ys te m . (100% of your re com m e nde d daily intak e .) Y ou don’ tim m e diate ly vom itfrom th e ove rw h e lm ing s w e e tne s s be caus e ph os ph oric acid cuts th e flavor al low ing you to k e e p itdow n. • 20 M INUTES: Y our blood s ugar s pik e s , caus ing an ins ul in burs t. Y our live r re s ponds to th is by turning any s ugar itcan ge tits h ands on into fat. (Th e re ’ s plenty of th atatth is particular m om e nt) • 40 M INUTES: Caffe ine abs orption is com plete . Y our pupils dialate , your blood pre s s ure ris e s , as a re s pons e your live rs dum ps m ore s ugar into your bloods tre am . Th e ade nos ine re ce ptors in your brain are now bl ock e d pre ve nting drow s ine s s .

FUR TH ER R EAD ING/SO UR CES • W h atH appe ns To Y our Body If Y ou Stop Sm ok ing R igh tNow ? [h e alth bolt.ne t/2006/07/19 /w h at-h appe ns -to-yourbody-if-you-s top-s m ok ing-righ t-now ] • Th is Is Y our Life O n Caffe ine [h e alth bolt.ne t/2006/10/30/th is -is -you-life -oncaffe ine ] • W ik ipe dia - Sugar [e n.w ik ipe dia.org/w ik i/Sugar]

• 45 M INUTES: Y our body ups your dopam ine production s tim ulating th e pleas ure ce nte rs of your brain. Th is is ph ys icall y th e s am e w ay h e roin w ork s , by th e w ay.

• W ik ipe dia - Caffe ine

• > 60 M INUTES: Th e ph os ph oric acid binds calcium , m agne s ium and zinc in your low e r inte s tine , providing a furth e r boos tin m e tabol is m . Th is is com pounde d by h igh dos e s of s ugar and artificials w e e te ne rs also incre as ing th e urinary e xcre tion of calcium .

• Proce s s e d Sugar Can Caus e Addiction and D e pre s s ion

• > 60 M INUTES: Th e caffe ine ’ s diure tic prope rtie s com e into play. (Itm ak e s you h ave to pe e .) Itis now as s ure d th atyou’ lle vacuate th e bonde d calcium , m agne s ium and zinc th atw as h e ade d to your bone s as w e llas s odium , e lectrolyte and w ate r. • > 60 M INUTES: As th e rave ins ide of you die s dow n you’ lls tartto h ave a s ugar cras h . Y ou m ay be com e irritable and/or s l uggis h . Y ou’ ve also now , lite ral ly, pis s e d aw ay allth e w ate r th atw as in th e Cok e . Butnotbe fore infus ing itw ith val uable nutrie nts your body could h ave us e d for th ings lik e e ve n h aving th e abil ity to h ydrate your s ys te m or build s trong bone s and te e th . Th is w illallbe foll ow e d by a caffe ine cras h in th e ne xtfe w h ours . (As little as tw o if you’ re a s m ok e r.) But, h e y, h ave anoth e r Cok e , it’ llm ak e you fe e lbe tte r. *FY I: Th e Cok e its e l f is notth e e ne m y, h e re . It’ s th e dynam ic com bo of m as s ive s ugar dos e s com bine d w ith caffe ine and ph os ph oric acid. Th ings w h ich are found in alm os talls oda.

[e n.w ik ipe dia.org/w ik i/Caffe ine ]

[th re e -pe ak s .ne t/anne tte /Proce s s e d-Sugar.h tm ] • Counting Th e M any W ays Sugar H arm s Y our H e alth - D r. M e rcola [m e rcola.com /2005/m ay/4/s ugar_ dange rs .h tm ] • H ow Caffe ine Affe cts Th e Body [faq s .org/nutrition/Ca-D e /Caffe ine .h tm l] • I also h ad a practicing M D and m e m be r of Th e Am e rican College of Surge ons [facs .org] cons ult on th is article abouts om e blood ch e m is try is s ue s . H e m ainly jus tlook e d ove r th e article afte r I h ad w ritte n itand, afte r corre cting a fe w tim e line is s ue s , s aid th atitw as on th e up and up.

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PH O TO BRITTNEYBUSH /FLICK R

W h at H appens To Your Body If You Drink A Cok e Righ t Now ?


D AVID VINCENT G AGNE D AVID G AGNE .NET

I h ave jus t about 9 ,000 s ongs (35GB) in m y iTune s l ibrary, and I l is te n to m us ic th e e ntire tim e I’m in th e office e ve ry day. I l ive and die by m y s m art pl ayl is ts . I’ve s e e n m ore th an a fe w tutorial s l ate l y about h ow to util iz e th is iTune s fe ature , s o I th ough t I’d tos s m y h at in th e ring w ith a fe w tips on h ow to m ak e Appl e ’s k il l e r app w ork be tte r. H e re are five tips to k e e ping your dail y l is te ning e njoyabl e.

U PDATE Y O UR G ENRES ! Th is is a k e y firs ts te p in k e e ping your m us ic organiz e d, and k e e ping your m us ic organiz e d is th e be s tw ay to ge tto h e ar w h atm ak e s you h appy. I am a bitofa fre ak : I h ave be e n m e ticul ous l y cate goriz ing and de tail ing e ve ry m p3 adde d to m y col l e ction for al m os ta de cade now . I l ove m us ic, butI don’t, for e xam pl e , h ave a s ingl e s ong by Th e Be atl e s or Tom Pe tty and th e H e artbre ak e rs . I do h ave 212 s ongs by Be atl e s , Th e and 111 s ongs by Pe tty, Tom and th e H e artbre ak e rs , th ough . I’m nots aying th atyou h ave to go th atoutofcontrolw ith your m us ic l ibrary, butyou can ce rtainl y tak e th e tim e to prope rl y tag your ge nre s . Ifyou’ve gotove r 400 Ch ris tm as s ongs on your com pute r you’re going to s tartge tting annoye d pre tty q uick l ywh en“ W inte r W onde rl and” s tarts pl aying in Jul y. Th e fol k s atAppl e configure d iTune s w ith a doz e n or s o de faul tge nre s , and it’s be yond s im pl e to s e l e ct a bunch , righ t-cl ick , and batch update th e ge nre s on th e m . Atth e ve ry l e as tyou s h oul d s e parate Country, H ol iday, Rock , and Rap! O nce you’ve s e tth e ge nre s on your l ibrary you’l lfind th atcre ating s m artpl ayl is ts be com e s infinite l y e as ie r.

R ATE TH

O SE

S O NGS !

Ifyou w antto h ave a pl ayl is tbas e d on your favorite s ongs , you’re going to h ave to s tartrating th e m . Ye s , you coul d cre ate a “ re gul ar” (i.e . non-s m art) pl ayl is tand drag and drop jus tth e track s you re al l yl ik e into it, butth at’s going to ge tol d in a h urry. W h e n you’re us ing your iPod itonl y tak e s a s e cond to cl ick th atm iddl e dota fe w tim e s and update th e rating ofa s ong. Sure l y“ Ye s te rday” s h oul d ge tfive s tars , e ve n ifyou don’tboth e r w ith updating th e rating on th os e 33 W h ite Z om bie m p3s you grabbe d from your buddy’s fil e s e rve r. To m ak e ite as ie r for m e to s tay on top ofm y ratings , I h ave a s m artpl ayl is tcal l ed“ Unrate d” . Th is w ork s be s tw h e n you’re us ing your iPod and notl is te ning on your com pute r w ith iTune s . (Th e probl e m is th atifyou cre ate a s m artpl ayl is tand te l litto onl y incl ude s ongs w ith no rating, as s oon as you rate one w h il e you’re l is te ning, itdis appe ars from th e pl ayl is tand you com e to a s cre e ch ing h al t.) M y “ Unrate d” pl ayl is tis s e tto incl ude s ongs w h e re M y rating is [no s tars ] and l im itto 25 ite m s s e l e cte d by m os tofte n pl aye d. Ifyou buil d a s m art pl ayl is tl ik e th is , w h atdo you ge t?W e l ls ince you’re s e l e cting on m os tofte n pl aye d th e s e s h oul d be s ongs th atyou k now w h atto rate pre tty q uick l y. Ifyou’ve h e ard “ H itM e , Baby, O ne M ore Tim e ” m ore th an 30 tim e s you k now it’s a four- or five s tar tune , righ t?(C’m on. Th is is your pe rs onalrating on your pe rs onalcol l e ction. Don’tl e tpe e r pre s s ure k e e p you from giving Britth e props s h e de s e rve s .) Som e tim e s I w il lch ange th is to s ortby m os tre ce ntl y pl aye d ins te ad;ifI’ve h e ard it re ce ntl y I’m m ore l ik e l y to h ave an opinion on it. Rating your s ongs give s you th e abil ity to cre ate “ favorite ” pl ayl is ts . Ifyou’re k e e ping your ge nre s update d th e n you can cre ate a pl ayl is tfor w rapping pre s e nts (H ol iday, M y Rating is gre ate r th an 3 s tars ), for be ing s tuck on th e h igh w ay (H ard Rock , M y Rating is gre ate r th an 3 s tars ), or l am e dinne r partie s (SoftRock , M y rating is l e s s th an 3 s tars ).

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PH O TO BRIAN TEUTSCH /FLICK R

Five Tips For Sm arte r Pl ayl is ts


TH E

S LO W

Th is is one ofm y m os t im portantrul e s . Th e vas t m ajority ofth e tim e I am notin th e m ood to h e ar sl ow s ongs . I’m running a com pany h e re , m an. I ne e d to h e ar rock and rol l . H ip h op. Th e 1812 O ve rture . Al th ough I l ove both ve rs ions e q ual l y, I do not w antto h e ar Linda Rons tadtor Roy O rbis on s tartcrooning “ Bl ue Bayou” w h il e I’m in th e m iddl e of pum ping outcode or de s igning a us e r inte rface . Th e be s tw ay to k e e p m os t Norah Jone s track s outof your s m artpl ayl is ts is by cre ating a “ dum b” pl ayl is t. Jus tcl ick “ Fil e” and th e n “ Ne w Pl ayl is t” . Titl e it“ Sl ow Songs ” . Any tim e you’re jam m ing aw ay and Barry M anil ow s tarts crying for M andy, righ t-cl ick h im and ch oos e “ Add to Pl ayl is t» Sl ow Songs ” . Th e n w h e n you m ak e s m artpl ayl is ts , you jus th ave to add a re s triction ofPl ayl is tis not Sl ow Songs .

CYCLE Y O UR S O NGS !

TH

M os tofth e tim e I’m l is te ning to one ofth re e pl ayl is ts w h il e I’m atth e office . “ Dail y Lis te ning” ,“ Lis te n to Th is ” , or “ Ne w Sh *t” . Each ofth e s e h as a s pe cific purpos e and I’l lfl ip be tw e e n th e m th rough outth e day.

M os tpe opl e don’th ave any ide a w h atth e Grouping option is in iTune s . I actual l y can’ts ay th atI k now w h at Appl e w as th ink ing e ith e r, to te l lyou th e truth . ButI can te l lyou h ow I us e it. Grouping is a te xtfie l d;you can type w h ate ve r you w antin th atbox. I us e itto “ tag” my m us ic. Ifyou s tarttagging your s ongs you can cre ate e ve n m ore s pe cific s m artpl ayl is ts bas e d on your tags . H e re ’s an e xam pl e:“ Suicide Bl onde ” by INXS is in th e “ Rock ” ge nre . It’s not“ Dance ” and it’s not“ 9 0s ” and it’s not“ Al te rnative ” . It’s good ol d Rock . You s h oul dn’t incorre ctl y ch ange th e ge nre jus tto cate goriz e s om e th ing. So w h atcan I do?I can tag itw ith an ide ntifie r th atI l ik e . Th is one ge ts th e tag “ 701″ . (701 South w as a cl ub in Daytona Be ach w h e re I w e ntto h igh s ch ool .) Th e n I can cre ate a s m artpl ayl is tto give m e any s ongs w h e re Grouping contains 701 and I can pre te nd I’m 17 and drink in’ on a fak e ID again.

1. Dail y Lis te ning Th is one ’s pre tty s im pl e . Give m e e ve ryth ing w h e re th e ge nre is n’t H ol iday, Spe e ch (to avoid h e aring JFK ’s InauguralAddre s s in th e m iddl e ofth e afte rnoon), or Country. M ak e s ure it’s nota vide o or a podcas tand th atitdoe s n’th ave one or tw o s tars . O fcours e don’t incl ude anyth ing in th e “ Sl ow Songs ” pl ayl is t, and l im ititto th e 25 ite m s th atI’ve h e ard l e as tre ce ntl y. (I s ay notto incl ude one - or tw o- s tar s ongs be caus e I don’tw antto h e ar m us ic I’ve e xpl icitl y tagge d as crap, butI can’tjus ts ay w h e re m y rating is gre ate r th an tw o s tars be caus e th e n itw on’tincl ude th e h undre ds ofs ongs th atI h ave n’trate d ye t. Ge t it?) 2. Lis te n to Th is H e re ’s anoth e r e as y one . Excl ude th e s am e ge nre s and th e s l ow s ongs as in th e above pl ayl is t, butonl y give m e s ongs w h e re th e rating is gre ate r th an th re e s tars . Th e trick h e re is to l im itth e s ongs bas e d on l e as tre ce ntl y pl aye d. Som e tim e s I’l ll is te n to m y four- or five -s tar pl ayl is t be caus e I’m jus tin th e m ood to h e ar m y favorite m us ic. Th e “ Lis te n to Th is ” pl ayl is tw il lgrab m e th os e favorite s th atI h ave n’th e ard in a w h il e. (H as itre al l y be e n th re e m onth s s ince I h e ard th e Viol e ntFe m m e s ‘ “ K is s O ff” ?!) 3.Ne w Sh *t I am cons tantl y adding ne w m us ic to m y l ibrary. I k e e p one pl ayl is tl ik e th is jus ts o th atI can h e ar th e ne w s ongs . Again I’m e xcl uding th os e pe s k y m om e nt-re l ate d ge nre s and th e s l ow s tuff, and I h ave th e one and tw o-s tar e xcl us ion on jus taboutal lm y s m artpl ayl is ts . Th e “ Ne w Sh *t” pl ayl is th as a param e te r for Date Adde d “ is in th e l as t” 3 m onth s , and anoth e r param e te r to m ak e s ure Las tPl aye d “ is notin th e l as t” 1 day. Th atw ay I w on’tge ts ick ofSugarcul t’s aw e s om e ne w “ Los Ange l es” by h e aring itfifte e n tim e s in one l ate nigh tofprogram m ing. I al te rnate th e l im itcl aus e on th is pl ayl is t. Som e tim e s I h ave its e tto “ l e as tofte n pl aye d” and s om e tim e s I h ave its e tto “ l e as tre ce ntl y pl aye d” . Th e Date Adde d param e te r m ak e s s ure th atth e s ongs are s til l ne w ;I jus tvary th e l im itto k e e p itfre s h .

E

H

IDDEN

S ECRET: G RO UPINGS !

W h at’s coolaboutth e Grouping option is th atyou can incl ude m ul tipl e ite m s in th atbox. So “ Suicide Bl onde ” ge ts tagge d l ik e th is : .701.daytona.h igh s ch ool .party. Now I can cre ate s m artpl ayl is ts bas e d on any one of th os e tags ! Note th atI w rap e ach tag w ith a pe riod, incl uding th e firs tand l as ttags . Th atw ay I can h ave m ul ti-w ord tags and al s o itl e ts m y s m artpl ayl is ts te l lth e diffe re nce be tw e e n a s ong tagge d w ith “ LA” and one tagge d w ith “ l am e ” .

W RAP IT U P So th e re you go. Sm artpl ayl is ts are a pow e rfulw ay to organiz e your m us ic and k e e p you l is te ning to w h atyou w ant. I h ope th e s e tips h e l p you, be caus e you can’tjus t l ive your l ife on s h uffl e al lth e tim e .

+

Find fre e iTune s dow nl oads h e re : [fre e itune s s ongs .bl ogs pot.com ].

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S EPARATE S TUFF!


JASO N R. W ALLACE

E

nte r th e brutis h re alitie s of th is ye ar of O ur Lord 2007. Th e s e are dire tim e s , l adie s and ge ntlem e n, th ough you m igh tnotre cognize th atfactfrom th e title al one . I'd l ik e to dire ctyour atte ntions to th re e ve ry im portantarticl e s (th atis , if you can te ar yours e lve s aw ay from th e cul turaltrain w re ck th at is D e alor No D e al). Th e fol low ing inform ation m igh ts h ock , appal land h orrify you, butitm igh th old th e k e y to unde rs tanding th ath ol o-re cording you'l lm ak e in 2046. Y ou k now , th e one playing atm ortician, dre s s ing up th e de m is e of U.S. lite rature for a final , touch ing appe arance , a s ortof gue s ts tarring role in th e s itcom th atis civil ization?O f cours e , th e re cording is n'taccom panie d w ith te xt. Le tte rs are obs olete , re m e m be r? Now , point#1. Rel ax, pe ople. Th is one 's at be s t a s h allow lace ration on th e face of th e Englis h language . I've ye t to s k e w e r your h ope s and dre am s , th ough I'd advis e you to be on your guard. Sit on th e nice ly-uph olste re d couch , s tare at m y s w inging w atch and re ach de e p back into your s ubcons cious m e m ory. D o you re m e m be r Nie lse n Book Scan's l is ting of th e 200 be s ts e l ling titles of 2005? Le tm e s top you. No. No, you don't.

PH O TO STO RYDREAM ER.DEVIANTART.CO M

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D

e ath of th e Am e rican Nove l


Alrigh t, now an activity for you folks . Find th e w ork th at de s e rve s criticalanal ys is in an inte l l e ctual /e ducationals e tting! I'llgive you a m inute . D one ?Th e re are tw o righ t ans w e rs h e re , s o s tay tune d. If you ans w e re d w ith ".......," you are corre ct. W e h ave lis te d h e re tw o fantas y s torie s s tre tch e d far be yond th e ir narrative m e rits for pure ly m one tary re as ons , a ps e udo-autobiograph y w h os e popul arity w as fue led by bick e ring ove r artis tic lice ns e , tw o w ork s of s e lf-h e lp and s e l f-pity, tw o nonfiction s tandbys (w ar and th e gl obale conom y) and w h at can only be de s cribe d as tw o pie ce s of m e ntal e xcre m e nt roas ting ove r th e fire s of fl im s y th riller-

ide a h e re , th e one from th is article. Th at's O K . I h ave n't told you ye t, butnow I w ill. Tak e a look at th e Ne w Y ork Tim e s be s ts e ller lis t. As k yours e lf th e s am e q ue s tion I did e arlie r. Any clas s ics ? O h , I'm s orry, but th at's incorre ct. R unning W ith Scis s ors is te ch nically nonfiction, s o it doe s n't count. Are w e s e e ing a patte rn h e re ? Lite rature in th e Unite d State s , in a s e e m ingly s e lf-contradictory and paradoxical fas h ion, is be com ing m ore s pe cialize d AND m ore h om oge nize d. O h , de ar, too h e ady th e re ? No, I'm afraid w e don't h ave tim e to w ipe th e re m ainde r of your brain m atte r off th e w allbe h ind you. H e re 's th e R e ade r D ige s t ve rs ion: th e publis h ing indus try is jus t th at, an indus try. M one y is th e prim ary m otivator. W h e n you h ave e xpe rim e ntalfiction, book s de aling w ith ne w vie w s on h um an nature and s ocie ty and dabbling in inte re s ting

linguis tics , you don't m ak e m one y, be caus e th e Am e rican populace is too bus y to th ink s e rious ly about a te xt. W h y, if th e y did th at, w h e n w ould th e y find th e tim e to finis h w atch ing D e s pe rate H ous e w ive s ? Jus t not e nough h ours in th e day. But...and th is is a profitable but...if you re pack age th e s am e th e m e ove r and ove r again, s ay, for ins tance , "young one s w ith m agic / dragons " or "h ow to be com e rich w ith out doing a re s pe ctable am ount of w ork " or "re as ons w h y you're fat th at don't involve pe rs onal blam e ," th e n you're s udde nly a caricature of Cas tro, s e tting your e xorbitantly e xpe ns ive cigar ablaze w ith a s park e d-up Be njam in. W h e re are w e going w ith th is , you as k ? H op into your D e Lore an D M C12 and w e 'lltrave lback to e xotic and m ys te rious 2004, w h e re Nie lse n's num be rs w illoffe r us a diffe re nt re as on to w orry about m ode rn fiction.

PH O TO DERBETH /FLICK R

1. H arry Potte r and th e H alf-Blood Prince , R ow ling, J.K . 2. A M illion Little Pie ce s , Fre y, Jam e s 3. Th e Kite R unne r, H os s e ini, K h aled 4. 1776, M cCullough , D avid 5. Th e D a Vinci Code , Brow n, D an 6. Th e W orld Is Flat, Frie dm an, Th om as L. 7. Th e Purpos e -D rive n Life , W arre n, R ick 8. Ange ls & D e m ons , Brow n, D an 9 . You: Th e O w ne r's M anual, O z, M e h m e t 10. Elde s t, Paolini, Ch ris toph e r

s tyle plot de vice s and re ligious controve rs ie s . Se e a clas s ic th e re ?A W O R K O F AR T?Y ou s ure don't, not unl e s s you w arp back to 19 62 and pick up th at h ot ne w nove l, O ne Fl e w O ve r Th e Cuck oo's Ne s t, a w ork w h ich , ne e d I re m ind you, w as th e product of m e ntal patie nt inte rvie w s and ps ych e de lic drugs (ofte n atth e s am e tim e ). H ow e ve r, th e re 's s tillth e oth e r righ t ans w e r. If you s aid Th e K ite R unne r, you m igh t h ave a point, butI h ave tw o: 1) I h ave n't re ad it. (As you can s e e , th is one ch anne ls its s tre ngth from bre vity and s im plicity.) 2) Y ou m e an to te llm e th at a book w ritte n by an Afgh anAm e rican, s e t agains t th e back drop of th e R us s ian invas ion of Afgh anis tan and th e pe riod of th e Tal iban re gim e , th at de als w ith is s ue s of e th nic conflict, im m igration and globalization s old w e ll?W h y, th at's abs olute l y nutty! Y ou m igh t be m is s ing th e m ain

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If you w e re to part th e Inte rne t s ludge lik e a pos tm ode rn M os e s and find th is particular lis t, w h at w ould you s e e ?W e ll,you'd s e e th e s e te n for s ure :


PUBLISH ED AT

+

Ch e ck outth e originals tory (w ith iTune s l ink s and al bum s am pl e s for a l im ite d tim e ) h e re : [th e m orningne w s .org/arch ive s /re vie w s /th e _ top_ 10_ al bum s _ of_ 2006.ph p]

10. LANSING -D REIDEN, TH D IVIDING ISLAND

E

W h e re Lans ing-Dre ide n th e conce ptualartproje cte nds and Lans ingDre ide n th e band be gins is a m urk y s pace — th ough th atte rritory doe s h ave a rich h is tory ofs paw ning gre atm us ic. It’s h e re th atm us ic is m ade notfor m us ic’s s ak e , butfor art’s s ak e . And th atm e ans targe tpractice w ith ge nre s , th e n e xe cuting fl aw l essl y. W h ich is h ow you ge tan al bum th ats ounds l ik e Brian W il s on s h re dding m e talin M iam i.

PH O TO M ISSYREDBO O TS /M O RGUEFILE

TH IS ARTICLE W AS O RIGINALLY TH E M O RNING NEW S .O RG

9 . S ILVERSUN PICK UPS , CARNAVAS

@

ANDREW W O M ACK TH E M O RNING NEW S .O RG

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can’t m ak e a m ix tape — I jus t don’t h ave w h at it tak e s . I l ik e al bum s , I am al bum -orie nte d. Th e re cord indus try w oul d be giddy if e ve ryone w e re l ik e m e : K now ing th e difficul tl y of trading e ntire al bum s of m p3s , th e y coul d de pe nd on a l ife tim e of l ine d pock e ts . O n th e oth e r h and, k now ing th e y coul dn’t de pe nd on h it s ingl es to s e l l re cords oth e rw is e cram m e d w ith fil l e r m igh ttigh te n a fe w be l ts . M os tim portantl y, th ough , ife ve ryone w e re l ik e m e , e ach ofth e be l ow al bum s w oul d h ave s h otto th e top ofth e ch arts in 2006. Al s o, th e re w oul d be l e s s jaz z .

8. Y EAH Y EAH Y EAH S , S H Y O UR BO NES

OW

Untilth is al bum w as force d upon m e by a frie nd, I’d ne ve r re al l y gotte n into th e Ye ah Ye ah Ye ah s . Apol ogie s to K are n O ., th atguy from W il l iam s burg, and th atoth e r guy w h o l ook s l ik e a m us ic th e ory profe s s or — h ow coul dI h ave be e n s o w rong, for s o l ong?Jus t to be s ure , I l is te ne d to th e l as ttw o al bum s . Nope , notas good. Butth is , th is is jus tgrand.

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Th e Top 10 Al bum s of2006

Pack ing guitar rock h e avy w ith e arl y ‘9 0s nos tal gia, Sil ve rs un Pick ups arrive jus tin tim e for th e e nd of‘80s re tro. Doe s th is al bum s ignala ne w Cl inton e ra?Sh oul d you s pre ad s om e Earth Day aw are ne s s ?Do m e an pe opl e s uck ?W e cannotans w e r untilth e s e cond com ing ofFis h bone .


As w ith th e ir 2004 de but, Ratatatl ays on th e Frippe rtronics (as in Robe rt, as in Eno col l aborator) th ick . Butth is tim e around th e y’ve w ritte n in s om e une xpe cte d ge nius : Th rough outCl as s ics th e rh yth m pl ays th e m e l ody; th atis , th e unde rcurre ntoftone (guitars , s ynth s , e tc.) h ol ds th e s ong toge th e r, w h il e th e be ats — and th e occas ionals am pl e ofa w il dcatroar — do th e h e avy l ifting in th e s ongs . Ve ry, ve ry s m art.

PH O TO UGALDEW /STO CK .XCH NG

7. R ATATAT, CLASSICS

6. PETER BJO RN AND JO H N, W RITER ’ S BLO CK For m e , l e arning aboutPB& J (itne ve r ge ts ol d) w as a fe atofm ark e ting. I firs th e ard fe e l -good-h it-of-th e -ye ar “ Young Fol ks” in a viralYouTube vide o, th e n again w h il e s h opping atth e Gap, th e n in m y h e ad ove r and ove r untilI coul d ge tto a com pute r and punch in th e l yrics to find out w h atitw as . Since th e n I’ve l e arne d th atw h il e th e s ingl e is catch y, th e al bum is unforge ttabl e.

5. M Y CH

EM ICAL R O M ANCE , TH E

BLACK PARADE

It’s difficul tto tak e s e rious l y a band th atappe ars to tak e its e l fs o s e rious l y. Butth at’s be s ide th e m atte r: Th is al bum de s e rve s th e h ype . Us ing th ick s trok e s ofcl as s ic ‘70s gl am , Th e Bl ack Parade paints a grue s om e caricature in dual ity: A care fre e , care l e s s young m an finds h is com e uppance in th e form ofa cance r diagnos is . H e y, but th is is jus tdum b m us ic for k ids atm al l s , righ t?Righ t? IN

H

ALF

Itcoul d h ave — s h oul d h ave — be e n th e ye ar ofth e Candy Bars . O n Cutting Ti-Ge rs … is a w onde rful l y nuance d al bum , s im pl y arrange d w ith a fie rce re s traint. So w h ats toppe d th e m ?W as th e al bum nam e too l ong to re m e m be r?Can one s o un-googl e -abl e band nam e re al l y do th atm uch h arm ?And ifs o, is Gnarl s Bark l e y onto s om e th ing?Eve ryone I as k e d s aid itw as th e band nam e .

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4. CANDY BARS , O N CUTTING TI-G ERS AND U NDERSTANDING NARRAVATIO N


E

D ECEM BERISTS , TH

E

CRANE W IFE

It’s a ne w ye ar, w h ich m e ans th e re m us tbe a ne w De ce m be ris ts al bum , and s om e h ow , l ik e th e ye ar be fore , it m anage s to outs h ine e ve ryth ing th e y’ve done be fore — w h il e e s cal ating w h at’s going to be e xpe cte d ofth e m ne xtye ar. H ave n’tth e s e guys e ve r h ad a job?H ave n’tth e y h e ard of w ork ing jus th ard e nough notto ge tfire d?I’m gl ad w e ’re notin th e s am e indus try. O th e rw is e , I’d h ave to fram e th e m for k il l ing th e bos s .

2. S UNSET R UBDO W N, S H

UT U P IAM

PH O TO Z URETA /STO CK .XCH NG

3. TH

D REAM ING

Pus h ing be auty th rough cacoph ony, Spe nce r K rug is nots o q uie tl y ch anging m us ic as w e k now it— th ough it’s l ik e l y you w oul dn’th ave h e ard, s ince h is outputis ove rw h e l m ing. H e ’s curre ntl y affil iate d w ith four bands (th atw e k now of), incl uding Frog Eye s , W ol fParade , Suns e tRubdow n, and Sw an Lak e , and re l e as e s an al bum e ve ry m orning, aboutan h our afte r h e w ak e s up. Th is proje ct, w h ich be gan as a s ol o act, porte nds gre atne s s , and probabl y a ne w re cord by th e tim e you re ad th is . O F TH E

Y EAR : S O UND TEAM , M O VIE M O NSTER

From th e m om e ntI h e ard itto th is m om e nt— righ tnow — th at I’m l is te ning to it, th e re is no m us ic I l ove d m ore in 2006 th an Sound Te am . W h atm ade its tick s o w e l l ?For one , its l ack of pol is h is re fre s h ing;Th ings h e re are m e s s y, th e e dge s are n’tcut cl e an, it’s difficul tin pl ace s , and th e re ’s no tim e to try and fix it al l . Th e re ’s an urge ncy on M ovie M ons te r — th e s e s ongs w oul dn’tw aitto be re corde d. It’s e xpe rim e ntalw h il e it’s tautand poppy;it’s fre e -form , th ough th e arrange m e nts are m e ticul ous . It’s obvious l y inte l l e ctual , buts o ins tinctive l y, ch aotical l y rock e d outth atm is s e s be ing ce re bral . Itcoul d be a ne w punk rock — e xce ptth ath as connotations , w h il e th is m us ic pre s e nts a w h ol l y ne w frontie r. Butth e re is for s ure a diffe re nte th os , and it’s one th atm ak e s m e uncom fortabl e , and unabl e to com partm e ntal iz e Sound Te am . I’ve trie d com paring itto m yriad bands , ge nre s , and e ras , and e ve ry tim e I com e up s h ort. Be caus e it’s jus tnot th ate as y, and th e be s tth ings ne ve r are .

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ALBUM


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PH O TO RED_ M ARC /STO CK .XCH NG

TH E 10/20/30 R ULE O F PO W ER PO INT G UY K AW ASAK I BLO G .G UY K AW ASAK I.CO M

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I

s uffe r from s om e th ing called M énière ’ s dis e as e — don’ tw orry, you cannotge titfrom re ading m y blog. Th e s ym ptom s of M énière ’ s include h e aring l os s , tinnitus (a cons tantringing s ound), and ve rtigo. Th e re are m any m e dicalth e orie s aboutits caus e : too m uch s al t, caffe ine , or alcoh olin one ’ s die t, too m uch s tre s s , and al lergie s . Th us , I’ ve w ork e d to lim it controlallth e s e factors .


and ve nture capital is t is th at h e is ge tting paid to gam ble w ith s om e one e lse ’ s m one y). If you m us t us e m ore th an te n s lide s to e xplain your bus ine s s , you probably don’ t h ave a bus ine s s . Th e te n topics th at a ve nture capitalis tcare s aboutare :

1. PR O BLEM 2. Y O UR

SO LUTIO N

3. BUSINESS M O D EL 4. UND ER LY ING M AGIC/TECH NO LO GY 5. M AR K ETING AND

SALES

6. CO M PETITIO N 7. TEAM 8. PR O JECTIO NS AND 9 . STATUS AND 10. SUM M AR Y

M ILESTO NES

TIM ELINE AND CALL TO ACTIO N

Y ou s h ould give your te n s lide s in tw e nty m inute s . Sure , you h ave an h our tim e s lot, but you’ re us ing a

Find out th e age of th e olde st pe rson in your audie nce and divide it by tw o. Th at's your optim al font size .”

cannot com pre h e nd m ore th an te n conce pts in a m e e ting — and ve nture capital is ts are ve ry norm al. (Th e only diffe re nce be tw e e n you

W indow s laptop, s o it w illtak e forty m inute s to m ak e it w ork w ith th e proje ctor. Eve n if s e tup goe s pe rfe ctly, pe ople w illarrive late and

h ave to leave e arly. In a pe rfe ct w orld, you give your pitch in tw e nty m inute s , and you h ave forty m inute s left for dis cus s ion. Th e m ajority of th e pre s e ntations th at I s e e h ave te xt in a te n point font. As m uch te xt as pos s ible is jam m e d into th e s lide , and th e n th e pre s e nte r re ads it. H ow e ve r, as s oon as th e audie nce figure s out th at you’ re re ading th e te xt, it re ads ah e ad of you be caus e it can re ad fas te r th an you can s pe ak . Th e re s ult is th at you and th e audie nce are outof s ynch . Th e re as on pe ople us e a s m allfont is tw ofold: firs t, th at th e y don’ t k now th e ir m ate rial w e ll e nough ; s e cond, th e y th ink th at m ore te xt is m ore convincing. Total bozos ity. Force yours e lf to us e no font s m aller th an th irty points . I guarante e it w illm ak e your pre s e ntations be tte r be caus e it re q uire s you to find th e m os t s alie nt points and to k now h ow to e xplain th e m w e ll. If “th irty points ,” is too dogm atic, th e I offe r you an algorith m : find out th e age of th e olde s t pe rs on in your audie nce and divide it by tw o. Th at’ s your optim alfonts ize . So pleas e obs e rve th e 10/20/30 R ule of Pow e rPoint. If noth ing e lse , th e ne xt tim e s om e one in your audie nce com plains of h e aring los s , ringing, or ve rtigo, you’ llk now w h at caus e d th e problem . O ne las t th ing: to learn m ore about th e ze n of gre at pre s e ntations , ch e ck out a s ite called Pre s e ntation Z e n [Pre s e ntationZ e n.com ] by m y buddy Garr R e ynolds .

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H ow e ve r, I h ave anoth e r th e ory. As a ve nture capitalis t, I h ave to lis te n to h undre ds of e ntre pre ne urs pitch th e ir com panie s . M os t of th e s e pitch e s are crap: s ixty s l ide s about a “pate nt pe nding,” “firs t m ove r advantage ,” “allw e h ave to do is ge t 1% of th e pe ople in Ch ina to buy our product” s tartup. Th e s e pitch e s are s o lous y th at I’ m l os ing m y h e aring, th e re ’ s a cons tant ringing in m y e ar, and e ve ry once in w h ile th e w orld s tarts s pinning. Be fore th e re is an e pide m ic of M énière ’ s in th e ve nture capital com m unity, I am trying to e vange lize th e 10/20/30 R ule of Pow e rPoint. It’ s q uite s im ple: a Pow e rPoint pre s e ntation s h ould h ave te n s lide s , las t no m ore th an tw e nty m inute s , and contain no font s m aller th an th irty points . W h ile I’ m in th e ve nture capital bus ine s s , th is rul e is appl icable for any pre s e ntation to re ach agre e m e nt: for e xam pl e , rais ing capital, m ak ing a s al e , form ing a partne rs h ip, e tc. Te n is th e optim al num be r of sl ide s in a Pow e rPoint pre s e ntation be caus e a norm al h um an be ing


PH O TO SH UJ /STO CK .XCH NG

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ASAD Y AW AR O H M Y NEW S .CO M

N

orth London on a m ild w inte r's afte rnoon m igh tfe e l lik e a long w ay from D ubai, butin late 2006 a particular dim e ns ion to globalization is blurring all s uch ge ograph icaldis tinctions : clearly vis ible from th e inte rcity railw ay track s com ing into K ing's Cros s m ainl ine s tation is th e glitte ring ne w Em irate s Stadium , nam e d afte r a luxury airl ine w ith its h e adq uarte rs in w h atis arguabl y th e m os t e conom ically dynam ic city in th e M iddle Eas t.

PAGE1 8

VI VA LA S DUB A I


PH O TO SH ANII /STO CK .XCH NG

And it's not jus t north London w h ich is unde rgoing a proce s s of "D ubaization." Up in Live rpool, th e iconic Anfie ld-bas e d Live rpoolFC are clos e to finalizing th e ir ow n buyout at th e h ands of D ubai Inte rnationalCapital, an inve s tm e nt arm of D ubai H ol ding and an e ntity be longing to no les s th an th e ruler of D ubai h im s e l f, Sh e ik h M oh am m e d bin R as h id Al-M ak toum . At th e oth e r e nd of Europe , Is tanbul's M anh attan-s tyl e Le ve nt bus ine s s dis trict w ill s oon h os t th e talles t buildings in th e m e tropolis of around 11 m illion pe ople: D ubai Tow e rs , tw o pe ncil-th in s tructure s be ing e re cte d at th e cos t of $500 m illion. Eve ryw h e re -- from th e Land of th e Fre e , w h e re th e D ubai-bas e d Em aar Prope rtie s acq uire d U.S. h om e building be h e m oth Joh n Laing H om e s via a $1.05 bill ion cas h trans fe r in June 2006, to th e Axis of Evil, w h e re th e s am e com pany are e ngaging in prope rty ve nture s w orth h undre ds of m illions of dollars w ith both private s e ctor partne rs and th e Syrian gove rnm e nt -- th e m antra is th e s am e : D ubai. State s , l ocalgove rnm e nts , individuals: allw ant a pie ce of th e D ubai pie . Inde e d, th e e conom ic vibrancy of D ubai h as m ade s uch a s trong im pre s s ion globally th at s om e are be ginning to tal k of a "D ubai m ode l" th at poor countrie s can leve rage to catapultth e m s e lve s into firs t-w orld l e ve l s of afflue nce . Th e s tory runs s om e th ing l ik e th is : for m uch of its h is tory, D ubai m ade a re l ative ly s m all im print on th e global e conom y. Th e n unde r th e vis ionary leade rs h ip of th e Al-M ak toum dynas ty, D ubai turne d its e lf into an e conom ic pow e rh ous e th rough re inve nting Eve ryw h e re ... th e its e l f as a h ub for inte rnational m antra is th e sam e : finance , bus ine s s , touris m and Dubai. State s local trans port, approxim ate ly in gove rne m e nts, individuals: all accordance w ith th e s tate d aim w ant a pie ce of th e Dubai pie .� of Sh e ik h R as h id Bin Sae e d AlM ak toum , Em ir of D ubai from 19 9 0 until h is de ath e arlie r th is ye ar, of trans form ing D ubai into "Th e H ong K ong of th e M iddl e Eas t." Th rough conce rte d e fforts tow ards th is goal, it is argue d, D ubai h as attracte d s ufficie nt capitalinve s tm e nt to cons truct w h at appe ars to be a ph e nom e nal ph ys icalinfras tructure . In Je be lAl i port, it vaunts th e large s t m an-m ade h arbor in th e w orld;th e ne w Je be lAli airport, curre ntly unde r cons truction and w ith an anticipate d finis h date of 2008, is e xpe cte d to be com e th e w orl d's bus ie s t, w ith proje cte d pas s e nge r num be rs of 120 m illion by around 2030. D ubai's h ote lcapacity, e xpanding at a ph e nom e nalrate , include s th e w orld's talles t s uch buil ding, th e Burj Al -Arab, a s e lf-s tyled "s e ve n s tar" e s tablis h m e nt w ith th e re putation of be ing th e l as t w ord in de cade nt luxury, if not tas te . Th e city's cre de ntial s as a m ajor playe r in corporate office s pace are be ing

PAGE1 9

“


PH O TO QBA FRO M PO LAND /FLICK R

Adde d into th is m ix is th e plentiful s upply of h ote ls and re ntal apartm e nts , re l ative ly clean be ach e s , ye ar-round s uns h ine and an incre as ing num be r of touris t attractions , from th e im plaus ible Sk i D ubai -- th e w orld's large s t indoor s k i re s ort -- to th e Burj D ubai tow e r, an $8 bil lion proje ct containing around 2 m il lion s q uare m e te rs of prim e re al e s tate . Anoth e r gargantuan initiative pre s e ntly be ing cons tructe d - it is e s tim ate d th at 15-25 pe rce nt of th e w orld's crane s can be curre ntly found in D ubai -- Burj D ubai w ill be th e talles t e difice on th e face of th e e arth w h e n it is finis h e d around th e turn of 2009 . Th e re s ults of all th is look s

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W h e n th e Burj Dubai is com pl e te itis e xpe cte d to re ach be tw e e n 808 m e te rs (2651 fe e t) and 9 40 m e te rs (3084 fe e t) into th e s k y (pre cis e m e as ure m e nts are curre ntl y be ing k e pt s e cre t). As of January 11, 2007 it w as al re ady 104 s torie s tal l(385 m e te rs ) and can accurate l y be cal l ed th e tal l e s tbuil ding in th e M iddl e Eas t.

im pre s s ive : D ubai's GD P pe r capita leve ls are th os e of a fullyde ve lope d country; oil re ve nue s account for les s th an 6 pe rce nt of th e e m irate 's totalGD P; e conom ic grow th pe r annum is pus h ing double digits . But is D ubai a re alis tic, or e ve n a de s irable, m ode lfor e m ulation? Th e re are s e ve ral factors th at w ould s ugge s t th at w ould s ugge s t oth e rw is e . Firs tly, D ubai doe s pos s e s s a collection of advantage s th at, w h e n put toge th e r, m ak e it virtually uniq ue . Its pos ition as an e s tablis h e d port city is difficult to be tte r: locate d in an oil-rich re gion, but w ith re lative proxim ity to th e ne w m anufacturing ce nte rs of th e re s t of As ia, particularly th e

burge oning m ark e t of th e Indian s ub-contine nt. D ubai's location al s o yie lds a num be r of oth e r dis tinct m odalitie s . W h ile oilis no longe r a m ajor incom e s tre am for th e e m irate , it did give D ubai a m as s ive h e ad s tart in te rm s of e conom ic de ve lopm e nt: as re ce ntly as 19 85, oilaccounte d for around h alf of th e D ubai's GD P. M ore ove r, D ubai is part of th e UAE, w h ich is one of th e m os t e ne rgy-e ndow e d nations on e arth . Ne igh boring Abu D h abi h as oil and gas re s e rve s th at e ve n today are e s tim ate d to las t for anoth e r 100 ye ars . Th e ge ograph ical and cultural proxim ity of D ubai to oth e r

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augm e nte d by de ve lopm e nts s uch as Bus ine s s Bay, a ne w com m e rcial dis trict w h ich w ill com pris e 500 s k ys crape rs built on artificialland. As a s h opping and leis ure de s tination, D ubai h as trie d to pos ition its e lf as a global leade r th rough a m ulti-face te d s trate gy. Firs tly, it h as util ize d its h is toric cach e t in s e ctors s uch as gold to proje ct an im age of long-s tanding com m e rcial acum e n. Se condly, it h as tak e n advantage of its ze ro tax re gim e by th row ing up countles s m all s -- th e D ubai M al l, pre s e ntly be ing built, w il l be th e w orld's large s t w h e n com pl e te d -- in a braze n atte m pt to re m ak e th e city as a s h oppe r's paradis e .


+

Pal m Is l and Jum e irah (s h ow n h e re ) is one ofth re e Pal m Is l ands and re q uire d 100 m il l ion cubic m e te rs ofrock and s and. Th e oth e r tw o, Je be lAl i (l ate 2007) and De ira, w il lh ave cons um e d ove r 1.1 bil l ion cubic m e te rs by th e tim e th e y are com pl e te . De ira's finalare a w il ltotal m ore th an th e e ntire city ofParis .

PH O TO SPACE IM AGING

for boos ting th e indige nous s k ills bas e . Th e s e cond m ajor problem is th at th e D ubai m ode lis continge nt to an im portant de gre e on alm os t fantas ticalleve l s of e xploitation of fore ign labor at th e low e r leve ls of th e e conom y. Th is is appare nt on at leas t tw o leve l s : th e pure ly e conom ic, and th e s ocial. M uch of D ubai's cons truction fre nzy h as be e n m ade pos s ible by th e fact th at m os t of th e labore rs are de s titute citize ns from India, Pak is tan and oth e r South As ian countrie s w h o are re m une rate d appallingly. For e xam ple, th e Burj D ubai de ve lopm e nt de tailed above -- incl uding th e w orld's talles t building, no les s -- is be ing put toge th e r by l abore rs e arning around $4 pe r day. Th e ir s alarie s and w ork ing conditions h ave alre ady ins pire d riots , including at th e cons truction s ite of D ubai M all in M arch 2006. M e anw h ile, in s ocial te rm s , th e D ubai m ode l's lack of flexibil ity is lik e ly to s e ve re l y unde rm ine it ow ing to th e is s ue th at dare not s pe ak its nam e : citize ns h ip. Not only do th os e w h o are fore ign-born h ave nilpros pe ct of e ve r be com ing a citize n of th e UAE, but e ve n pe ople w h o are born and rais e d in th e Em irate s -- including D ubai -cannot be com e citize ns unles s th e y are of Em irati pare ntage . In th e l ong te rm , th is is a h uge w e ak ne s s give n th at around 80-9 0

PAGE21

pe trodollar s tate s in th e re gion h as al so grante d it particul ar advantage s as part of th e fallout from 9 /11: in an e ra of m as s ive h ik e s in oilprice s , th e Pe rs ian Gul f re gion is e xpe rie ncing s e ns ational leve ls of liq uidity, but th e Unite d State s and, to a l e s s e r e xte nt, Europe -th e traditional de s tinations for s pare M iddle Eas te rn cas h -- are now de cide dly cooler tow ards re ce iving it. Cons e q ue ntly, D ubai is now aw as h w ith lite rally h undre ds of bill ions of dollars in s urplus funds from ne arby Arabic- and Pe rs ians pe ak ing s tate s th at w oul d in oth e r tim e s h ave found a h om e in Ne w Y ork or Z urich . H ow e ve r, th e re also e xis t a s e rie s of problem s w ith th e D ubai m ode l th at re nde r it not jus t h ard to copy, butpote ntially unm anage able. Th e firs t is th at th e m uch vaunte d trans fe r of te ch nology and s k ill s from e xpatriate s to locals is s im ply not h appe ning. Th is is a com m on problem in m any oil-rich M iddle Eas te rn s tate s w h e re th e re are ce rtain re s trictions on fore ign ow ne rs h ip of com panie s : w h ile e xpatriate s are force d to h ave th e ir ve nture in joint re gis tration at leas t in part w ith a partne r pos s e s s ing local nationality, th e de facto re ality is th at th e latte r h as littl e if any input into th e day-to-day running of th e bus ine s s . W h ile th is m ay be th e de s ire d outcom e for all partie s involve d, it doe s noth ing


global w arm ing and w h ich w ill m ak e long dis tance air trave l cons ide rably les s affordable -could m ak e D ubai a m uch les s attractive pros pe ct for s h opping s pre e s , letalone indoor s k iing. Finally, and pe rh aps m os t dis turbingly, th e D ubai de ve lopm e nt m ode ls e e m s to m ak e little allow ance for s piritual and cultural s us te nance : s e e m ingly de s igne d by M ick e y M ous e , it is a city w h ich is th e las t w ord in e rs atz. D ubai is w h e re fak e Eiffe l Tow e rs vie for th e ir place in a dis jointe d urban m ilie u w ith artificials k i s lope s , ove rs ize th e m e park s and gigantic cath e drals of cons um ption. Pre dictably for a place w h e re th e crane s of th e Saudi Binladin Group

loom large acros s th e lands cape , D ubai re pre s e nts pe rh aps a pinnacle in th e re alization of a ce rtain form of s oulles s m ate rialis m . W ith s im ilar ine vitability, it is re now ne d as th e pros titution and h um an traffick ing capital of th e M iddle Eas t, w ith am ongs t th e m os t ope n s oliciting and e xploitation of w om e n and ch ildre n found anyw h e re in th e w orld. In te rm s of s tatis tics , D ubai's e conom ic de ve lopm e nt is undoubte dly im pre s s ive : any city s tate w ith $100 billion of proje cts curre ntly be ing buil t or s tarting cons truction im m ine ntly cannot -at leas t in one s e ns e -- be s aid to h ave fallen s h ort in th e s cale of its am bition. But outs ide a h andfulof Pe rs ian Gulf D ubai-w annabe e s s uch as oth e r e m irate s in th e UAE and pe rh aps D oh a and M us cat, th e D ubai m ode lw il lbe ve ry difficult to re plicate . And e ve n if th e conditions s h ould aris e to m ak e e m ulation pos s ible, th os e unde rtak ing s uch a tas k s h ould h ave no illus ions about th e te ch nical, s ocial, e nvironm e ntal, culturaland s pirituallim itations of th e paradigm ; in trying to m ak e th e ir e ntitie s m ore lik e D ubai, th e y m ay s im ply e nd up m ak ing th e m re s e m ble Las Ve gas .

PH O TO URICACID /FLICK R

m ode rn city h as be e n de s igne d as if global w arm ing did not e xis t. Cars dom inate a U.S.-s tyle citys cape th at is m as s ive ly ine fficie nt in te rm s of e ne rgy, and w h ile th e firs t ph as e of a ne w m ulti-billion dol lar four-line m e tro proje ct is s ch e duled to be ope rational by M ay 2009 , th is re pre s e nts no m ore th an a re lative ly s m all fraction of pote ntialtrips . Sim ilarly, D ubai's de ve lopm e nt s trate gy -- bas e d as it is on ch e ap m as s inte rnational trans port -- is h igh ly vul ne rable to any e nvironm e ntal or e conom ic s h ock s . Eve n re lative l y s m allris e s in th e cos t of je t fue l-- ris e s w h ich are be ing m oote d by gove rnm e nts th e w orld ove r in re s pons e to

PAGE22

pe rce nt of th e UAE w ork force -including th at of D ubai -- is com pos e d of citize ns of countrie s oth e r th an th e UAE. Th e s e pe ople h ave no attach m e nt to D ubai oth e r th an th e e conom ic and th e s e ntim e ntal. W h ile th is is pe rh aps m ore e as ily ignore d in pe riods of s ignificant e conom ic e xpans ion, in leane r tim e s it is inconce ivabl e th at a large im m igrant population w ith out acce s s to e lem e ntary s ocial s e curity and m e dical care w ill not pre s e nt th e pote ntial for pan-s ocie taltum ult. A th ird q ue s tionable e l e m e nt of th e D ubai e q uation is its e nvironm e ntal fe as ibility. W h ile m uch of th e city h as be e n th row n up in an e ra of arguably gre ate r aw are ne s s of gre e n is s ue s , th e


@

M ATTH

EW

H

O LZ APFEL

M

os t pe opl e around th e country h ave h e ard of M arxis m , but do you re ally k now w h at it m e ans ? Th e com m only h e l d k now l e dge of M arxis m is th at it is a propone nt of com m unis m and th e bas is for th e founding of pas t gove rnm e nt s tratification in R us s ia. Th e m yth is th at K arlM arx's th e ory is a th re at to capital is m and is M arx's m ajor contribution to s ocie ty.

+

Pe r ye ar, th e Le go Group cre ate s m ore tire s th an any oth e r tire m anufacture r in th e w orl d.

A spide r conducts ope rations th at re se m ble th ose of a w e ave r, and a be e puts to sh am e m any an arch ite ct in th e construction of h e r ce lls. But w h at distinguish e s th e w orst arch ite ct from th e be st of be e s is th is, th at th e arch ite ct raise s h is structure in im agination be fore h e e re cts it in re ality.” K arl M arx, Das K apital (1867)

+

Al th ough M arx m ay noth ave be e n dire ctl y anti-capital is m th e re are pl e nty ofre s ource s for w oul d-be 'rs today. [Infos h op.org] is a gre ats ource of inform ation and opinion, provide d anarch y is your cup ofte a.

In actuality, M arxis m , in te rm s th at K arlM arx founde d, is a s ocialine q uality th e ory of s ociology. M arx cre ate s th e th e ory of tw o m ajor clas s e s in s ocie ty, th e proletariat (low e r or w ork ing clas s ) and bourge ois ie (uppe r clas s ), w ith s ligh t m e ntion of a th ird clas s , th e pe tite bourge ois ie (th e m iddle clas s ). Th e s tratification is bas e d on oppre s s ion of th e proletariat by th e bourge ois ie and de fine d roles of clas s s truggle and conflict. H is th e ory h as be e n an influe ntialrole in de fining s ociol ogy as it is k now n today, and cre ate d a pe rs pe ctive k now n as conflictpe rs pe ctive . M arx’ s m ain focus th rough out h is w ork de als m os tly in th e re al m of s ociology and e conom ics , w ith little m e ntion of gove rnm e ntal s tructure . Th e re as on for w riting th is pie ce is due to th e lack of k now ledge s urrounding one of th e m os t influe ntialpe ople in th e s ocials cie nce s . If you’ re w onde ring w h e th e r or not K arl M arx w ould h ave s upporte d th e adve nt of a com m unis t form of gove rnm e nt, th e ans w e r to th at q ue s tion is undoubte dly, no. Th e m yth can be dis as s e m bled h e re , M arx fe lt th at com m unis m can ne ve r be im plem e nte d, but rath e r ne e ds to be re ach e d in a naturalprogre s s ion th rough capitalis m . O nly th rough capitalis m can M arxis m be truly s ucce s s ful.

PH O TO DUNECH ASER /FLICK R

Love l e gos ?W antto s e e s om e in action? [irre gul arw e bcom ic.ne t] is a com ic bas e d around s til l -ph otograph e d l e gos and action figure s . Probabl y notfor k ids .

PAGE23

TH E M YTH O F M ARXISM

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W

@

G ERTRUDE G RO M LEY

H AT IS AR T TH ER APY?

I

Be ing a s tude nt of art th e rapy I al w ays w rite dow n m y dre am s . D re am analys is is a toolth at h as be e n us e d s ince Sigm und Fre ud. Fre ud “tre ate d th e dre am , th e fantas y, or th e uncons cious factor in a picture as a puzzle to be s olve d and e xpl aine d” (R ubin, 2001, p.82). In h is book , Th e Inte rpre tation of D re am s (19 11) h e w rite s , “W e h ave alre ady be com e acq uainte d w ith m any conce ptions of th e dre am , w h ich in th is s e ns e are m ore or les s de s e rving of th e nam e of dre am th e orie s . Th e be lie f of th e ancie nts th at dre am s w e re s e nt by th e gods in orde r to guide th e actions of m an w as a com pl e te th e ory of th e dre am , w h ich told th e m all th at w as w orth k now ing about dre am s .

Since dre am s h ave be com e an obje ct of biological re s e arch w e h ave a gre ate r num be r of th e orie s ...” (Ch .1, Se c. H ). CarlJung w as a faith fuls tude nt of Fre ud's ps ych oanalytic s ch ool of th ough t until a tragic bre ak . “Lik e Fre ud, Jung be lie ve d in th e e xis te nce of th e uncons cious . H ow e ve r, h e didn't s e e th e uncons cious as anim al is tic, ins tinctual, and s e xual;h e s aw it as m ore s piritual. D re am s w e re a w ay of com m unicating and acq uainting ours e lve s w ith th e uncons cious . D re am s w e re not atte m pts to conce alour true fe e lings from th e w ak ing m ind, but rath e r th e y w e re a w indow to our uncons cious . Th e y s e rve d [as a] guide [to] th e w ak ing s e lf to ach ie ve w h olene s s .

D re am s offe re d a s olution to a problem w e are facing in our w ak ing life ” (D re am M oods .com ). (Side note : D re am M oods .com is an e xce llent be ginning point for dre am analys is for th e be ginne r.) W h e n Jung parte d w ays , h e k e pt m os t of th e traditionalth e orie s Fre ud h ad de ve lope d but incorporate d m yth ology, s pirituality, and cultural pe rs pe ctive s . H e tre ate d th e dre am as a be ginning place for dis cove ry, us ing m e th ods th at w e re les s traditional. Jung w as th e firs t k now n ps ych oth e rapis t in h is tory to h ave h is patie nts draw about th e ir s orrow s , th e ir tram as , th e ir indis cribable pain, and th e ir dre am s . Th us be gins th e h is toricalde ve lopm e nts leading up to th e w ide -s pre ading s ch oolof th ough t k now n as ArtTh e rapy.

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aw ok e from a dre am th is m orning in w h ich I w as an autis tic h e rm aph rodite w h o h ad a th e ory about e ne rgy. In th e dre am I w as w ork ing w ith a h igh s ch ools cie nce s tude nt w h o w as doing balloon e xpe rim e nts on bugs . H e w ould capture bugs , s uch as a bum bl e be e , and put it in a bal l oon w h ile attach ing anoth e r balloon to it fill ed w ith a ch e m icalcock tailh e 'd de vis e d. Th e ball oons w e re s e nt to th e h igh e s t part of th e Earth 's atm os ph e re . Final ly, in th e dre am , h e w as s ucce s s ful . W ith m y e ne rgy th e orie s and h is s cie nce , w e e nlarge d th e bum blebe e to th e s ize of s m al lVW Bug. I w as ch anting “Ene rgy, e ne rgy, e ne rgy...” w h ile riding in a m ini van to an unk now n de s tination w h e n th e annoying be e p of m y al arm clock arous e d m e from m y s lum be r.


O fte n (as s tude nts ;grad or unde rgrad) w e ge t as k e d th e q ue s tion, “W h at are you s tudying?” It w as e as y in unde rgrad; “I'm s tudying fine art,” I w ould re s pond. But now , w h e n th e ans w e r is art th e rapy, th e re is ofte n a s e cond q ue s tion... “W h atIS artth e rapy?” Th e re are s om e m ajor m is conce ptions about th is fie ld of ps ych oth e rapy. Le t's do a q uick q uiz: 1) D o you th ink art th e rapy is look ing at blobs of ink on pape r? O k , th e q uiz is ove r. If you ans w e re d ye s to th is q ue s tion you m ay be s h aring th e bigge s t

m is conce ption pe opl e h ave about th e fie ld. Art th e rapy incorporate s all form s of m e dia ranging from clay to fabrics to found obje cts to your m ore traditional s upplie s s uch as paints , pe ncils, pe ns , m ark e rs and s uch . It involve s us ing tools s uch as dre am analys is , s ublim ation, trans fe re nce and counte rtrans fe re nce , and ultim ate ly art as th e language th at taps into th e de e pe s tparts of our s ubcons cious . Th rough out th e h is tory of ps ych iatry and ps ych oth e rapy pe ople w e re be com ing m ore and

m ore dis illus ione d by th e failure s th at “talk th e rapy” pre s e nte d. W h at do you do w ith a clie nt w h o com e s in and h as e xpe rie nce d a traum a s o gre at th at th e y are not e ve n able to be gin to talk about it? W h at h appe ns w h e n a ch ild h as w itne s s e d trage dy and h as no w ords to e xpre s s th e ir fe ar?H ow do you tre at clie nts th at don't s pe ak Englis h ? H ow w ill future ge ne rations fe e lth e ps ych ological e ffe cts of 9 /11, Th e “W ar on Te rroris m ,” and H urricane K atrina?Art th e rapy is th e ans w e r to allof th e s e q ue s tions ...and m ore . M argare t Naum burg and Edith K ram e r are th e m oth e rs of Art Th e rapy. Naum burg's de finition of art th e rapy is “a m e th od of

re leas ing th e uncons cious by m e ans of s pontane ous art e xpre s s ion” w h ile K ram e r counte re d h e r and de s cribe d art th e rapy as “a m e ans of w ide ning th e range of h um an e xpe rie nce s by cre ating e q uivalents for s uch e xpe rie nce s . It is an are a w h e re in e xpe rie nce s can be ch os e n, varie d, and re pe ate d at w ill ” (Junge , As aw a, 19 9 4, p.130). I w illl e ave you w ith an e xam ple of an art th e rapy dire ctive : If you re m e m be r a dre am you h ave h ad re ce ntly; w rite it dow n in th e fulles t de tail th at you can re m e m be r. Now , tak e out a s k e tch book and any s upplie s you lik e w ork ing w ith (pas te ls, oilpas te ls, w ate rcolors , acrylics , m ark e rs ,

crayons , pe ns , pe ncils, or old clippings from m agazine s ). To th e be s t of your abilitie s try and re cre ate th e dre am on pape r. W ork loos e ly and don't try and cre ate “a m as te rpie ce .” Sim ply do your be s t to re cre ate th e dre am s ce ne and th e e m otions attach e d to th e dre am . O nce finis h e d, s h are th e w ritings and th e artw ork w ith a frie nd. Be s ure to h igh l igh t m ain points . Som e tim e s a frie nd m ay offe r ins igh t, or you m ay find a clue for yours e lf in th is intuitive proce s s . Pe rs onal dre am e xploration — one of m any tools us e d by Art Th e rapis ts today — can be a toolth at w il llead you one s te p clos e r to be ing auth e ntic and truly aw are . R EFER ENCES Us e d Junge , M axine Borow s k y and Paige Pate rack i As aw a. (19 9 4). A h is tory of art th e rapy in th e Univte d State s . Th e Am e rican Art Th e rapy As s ociation, Incorporate d. R ubin, Judith Aron. (2001). Approach e s to art th e rapy: th e ory & te ch niq ue . Se cond Edition. Ne w Y ork , NY . Brunne rR outledge .

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To th e left is a s k e tch done by m ys e lf. Th is art th e rapy dire ctive involve d as k ing “m y future s e lf” for advice on h ow to h e alfrom a particular traum a in m y pas t. W h ile draw ing from th e s ubcons cious and not th ink ing or planning w h e re th e draw ing w ould tak e m e , th is is w h at w as cre ate d. As you can s e e , m y future s e lf te ll s m e , “In orde r for you to h e al, Y ou m us t be cleans e d.” As a s tude nt of art th e rapy s om e of th e th ings I w ould look at in th is picture are th e us e of m ate rial s , th e form al e lem e nts , th e s ym bolic l anguage , and th e col ors us e d. It appe ars th at in th is picture a girlis on an ancie nt th rone in th e de s e rt and it is nigh t. Th e re are s ym bols upon th e th rone . Th e girlh as doors ope ning to h e r h e art w h ich is blee ding e ve ry drop of h e r blood onto th e floor, in a puddle. Th e girlappe ars calm and conte nt. H e r h air is l ong and flow ing. Itappe ars s h e m ay h ave a large h aton. Th e th rone is gold. O ne of th e gre ate s t th ings about art th e rapy is you can do it anyw h e re , anytim e . If you h ave a q ue s tion or an is s ue th at you w ould lik e to w ork on, s im ply be gin. Tak e your pe ns and pe ncils and jus t s tart. Y ou m ay be am aze d, w h e n finis h e d, w h at com e s of your w ork . I k now th at I alw ays am .


@

G INA TRAPANI LIFEH ACK ER .CO M

PH O TO RO YM /STO CK .XCH NG

Th e Best Apps of 20 0 6

+

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Th e Vince Lom bardi Troph y (pre s e nte d annual l y to Supe r Bow lvictors ) al w ays h as a doubl e on s tandby jus tin cas e th e original is brok e n during th e ce l e bration. Each troph y (w ith a ne w one m ade e ve ry ye ar) is val ue d at$12,500.


2

006 w as anoth e r w ild and w ack y ye ar in s oftw are and w e b de ve lopm e nt. W h ile Google launch e d or acq uire d a ne w producte ve ry w e e k , Inte lM acs m ade th e unh ol y m arriage of W indow s and O S X pos s ible, Joe Sch m oe 's be cam e th e s e lf-m ade vide o s tars of th e w e b on Y ouTube , Inte rne tExpl ore r gottabs and M icros oftfinall y ponie d up th e ne w ve rs ion of W indow s th e y've be e n prom is ing (w e l l,k inda.) H e re itis D e ce m be r and you k now w h atth atm e ans : tim e for a be s t-of-th e -ye ar lis t. Afte r th e jum p, ch e ck outm y pick s for be s tne w s oftw are and w e b applications th atrock e d our w orld in 2006. In no particular orde r:

Parallels

Google Reader (W e b-bas e d fe e d re ade r, fre e ) M y longtim e love affair w ith Blogline s e nde d th is ye ar w ith a s w itch to Google's ne w fe e d re ade r, and I've ne ve r l ook e d back . If you're a Gm ailus e r, us ing R e ade r w illbe s e cond nature ;I can'tim agine going back to a fe e d re ade r w ith outth e one line pos tpre vie w , k e yboard s h ortcuts or tagging abil itie s GR e ade r offe rs . For any pow e r R SS s ubs cribe rs (m e aning, you k e e p up w ith m ore th an a doze n fe e ds ), Google R e ade r's for you. Note : Th e firs tve rs ion of Google R e ade r th atlaunch e d in O ctobe r of 2005 bare l y turne d m y h e ad;itw as R e ade r's m ajor re vis ion in Se pte m be r of th is ye ar th at gotitonto th is lis t.

LIFEH

ACK ER .CO M

(O pe rating s ys te m , various e ditions and price s ) I ris k los ing any indie h ack e r cre d I m ay h ave w ith th is pick , but h e ar m e out. W h ile Vis ta h as n'tbe e n re leas e d for h om e us e rs ye t, th e factth atM icros oftm ade e arl y ve rs ions of th e ne w O S available as a fre e dow nload to w illing te s te rs rate s re ally h igh in m y book . Be ing one of th os e w illing te s te rs , I w as im pre s s e d w ith w h atVis ta h as in s tore for PC us e rs e arly ne xtye ar. D o I th ink M icros oft, as a com pany, is ol d and s low ?Y e s . Am I e xcite d to s h ow m y M om h ow to cre ate a s ave d s e arch folde r on h e r PC?Y e s .

Google Calendar (W e b-bas e d calendar, fre e )

+

W antto k now m ore about Googl e th an th e ave rage be ar? Ch e ck outth is articl e [inform it.com /articl e s /printe rfrie ndl y.as p?p=675528& rl =1] for a gl im ps e at s om e ofth e giant's h idde n fe ature s .

I w as a loyaland de dicate d Y ah oo! Calendar us e r for ye ars , patie ntly e nduring its antiq uate d us e r inte rface and m ons trous e ntry form s . Butafte r trying th e dynam ic Google Calendar, w ith e as y calendar s ubs criptions and s h aring and s m artinput(ie "D inne r w ith M ark at6PM "), I w as s old. Unlik e Google R e ade r, Calendar gotitrigh tfrom th e s tart.

H am ach i (VPN, fre e ) W ith m ore and m ore folks running h om e s e rve rs or s im ply w anting to acce s s th e ir docum e nts or s tre am th e ir iTune s l ibrary acros s com pute rs conne cte d only via th e loos e s trands of th e inte rne t, H am ach i's fre e VirtualPrivate Ne tw ork ing clie ntis an abs olute s avior. W h ile H am ach i is m ore for us ge e k s th an Ave rage Joe , I don'tgo on a bus ine s s trip or w alk dow n to th e coffe e s h op w ith outs e cure acce s s to m y h om e com pute r w ith H am ach i. H e re 's m ore on h ow to cre ate your ow n virtualprivate ne tw ork w ith H am ach i. Note : Nots ure if H am ach i w as born in 2006, butLogM e In bough titth is pas tye ar, w h e n itcam e onto our radars .

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(Virtualm ach ine , $79 .00) W ith M acs bas e d on th e Inte lch ip, th e once -im pos s ible h as be com e a re ality: a com pute r th atruns both th e M ac O S and W indow s ope rating s ys te m . W h ile Apple's BootCam p w as a nice th ough t, forge tre booting your M ac to s w itch from O S X to W indow s . W ith Parallels you can h ave th e be s tof both ope rating s ys te m s atyour finge rtips , e ith e r on s e parate de s k tops or running in Coh e re nce m ode . TH IS is th e re as on any on-th e -fe nce s w itch e rs w ith cas h for s pe ndy Apple h ardw are and an affinity for th atone W indow s app w illm ak e th e jum p to a s h iny ne w M ac.

W indow s Vista


Cam pfire (In-brow s e r group ch at, fre e and paid pl ans ) W h ile re s e arch ing th is article I w as s h ock e d to re alize th at Cam pfire only cam e outth is pas tye ar, be caus e I can't-- and don'tw antto -- re m e m be r w ork ing w ith outit. W h ile group ch at is a pre tty s pe cific ne e d -- m os tly for folks w h o w ork in th e "virtualoffice " -- it's a gods e nd for any group of pe ople w h o ne e d to ch atw ith outw anting to w rangl e w ith re gular IM cl ie nts and s e rvice s . Se e th e s ide bar for m ore on h ow w e us e Cam pfire h e re atLife h ack e r.

OpenDNS

LIFEH

ACK ER .CO M

M ore Resources / Links Paral l el s [paral l el s .com ]

Side bys ide W indow s and M ac O S w ith Paral l el s [l ife h ack e r.com /s oftw are /paral l el s /h ack -attack -s ide bys ide -w indow s -and-m ac-os -w ith -paral l el s201451.ph p]

H ow to Run W indow s and M ac Apps Side bys ide w ith Paral l el s [l ife h ack e r.com /s oftw are /paral l el s /h ack -attack -h ow -to-run-w indow s -and-m ac-apps -s ide bys ide -w ith paral l el s -221002.ph p]

Appl e 's BootCam p [appl e .com /m acos x/bootcam p]

(D om ain re s olution, fre e ) For anyone w h os e ISP is crank y aboutre s olving w e b page s , O pe nD NS' fre e , fas t, and h uge dis tribute d databas e of dom ain nam e s can s e rious ly s pe e d up your w e b brow s ing s e s s ion. Plus O pe nD NS autom atical ly fixe s com m on UR Ltypos lik e life h ack e r.cm o and us e s com m unity-police d ph is h ing prote ction from Ph is h Tank . Se tth is one up on your pare nts ' com pute r w h e n you're h om e for th e h olidays th is m onth .

Googl e Re ade r [googl e .com /re ade r]

From Bl ogl ine s to Googl e Re ade r [l ife h ack e r.com /s oftw are /googl e -re ade r/ge e k -to-l ive --from -bl ogl ine s -to-googl e -re ade r-205786.ph p]

Googl e Re ade r Ge ts An Upgrade [l ife h ack e r.com /s oftw are /googl e -re ade r/googl e -re ade r-ge ts -an-upgrade -20409 7.ph p]

W indow s Vis ta

Foxm arks

[m icros oft.com /w indow s vis ta]

(Book m ark s s ynch ronize r for Fire fox, fre e )

[l ife h ack e r.com /s oftw are /w indow s -vis ta/ge e k -to-l ive --w indow s -vis ta-rc-1-in-s cre e ns h ots -19 9 29 2.ph p]

Googl e Cal e ndar [googl e .com /cal e ndar]

Tick l e Yours e l fw ith Yah oo Cal e ndar [h ttp://l ife h ack e r.com /s oftw are /fe ature /ge e k -to-l ive --tick l e -yours e l f-w ith -yah oo-cal e ndar-127823.ph p]

H am ach i [h am ach i.cc]

Cre ate Your O w n VirtualPrivate Ne tw ork w ith H am ach i [l ife h ack e r.com /s oftw are /vpn/ge e k -to-l ive --cre ate -your-ow n-virtual -private -ne tw ork -w ith -h am ach i201786.ph p]

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O k , s o Foxm ark s didn'tlaunch in 2006, butw e firs tm e ntione d in h e re on LH in th e las tw e e k s of D e ce m be r '05. H ow e ve r, at leas t3 of th e LH e ditors agre e th atFoxm ark s is indis pe ns able for s e am les s s ynch ronization of your book m ark s from h om e to th e office or from laptop to de s k top or any num be r of com pute rs . W h at's th atyou s ay aboutGoogle Sync?Foxm ark s be ats Googl e Sync w h e n itcom e s to book m ark s .

Vis ta RC1 Scre e ns h ots


H ONORABLE M ENTION:

Cam pfire

LIFEH

ACK ER .CO M

[cam pfire now .com ]

Ubuntu Linux (O pe n s ource ope rating s ys te m , fre e ) D e s k top Linux h as be e n around for age s , but Ubuntu ("Linux for h um ans ") m ade a s plas h in 2006 am ong th e ge e k s e t, including our ve ry ow n Adam , w h o s h ow e d us h ow to triple-boot W indow s XP, Vis ta and Ubuntu. Y ou Ubuntu us e rs s h ould also ch e ck outAdam 's Top 10 Ubuntu apps and tw e ak s .

Es s e ntialTool s for th e Pl ace l e s s O ffice [l ife h ack e r.com /s oftw are /col l aboration/ge e k -to-l ive -e s s e ntial -tool s -for-th e -pl ace l e s s -office -213641.ph p]

O pe nDNS [ope ndns .org]

Re portPh is h ing Site s atPh is h Tank [l ife h ack e r.com /s oftw are /ph is h ing/re port-ph is h ing-s ite s -at-ph is h tank -205082.ph p]

Foxm ark s [foxm ark s .com ]

Googl e Sync your book m ark s

EveryStockPh oto

[l ife h ack e r.com /s oftw are /dow nl oads /googl e -s ync-your-book m ark s -acros s -com pute rs -208224.ph p]

Foxm ark s be ats Googl e Sync [l ife h ack e r.com /s oftw are /fire fox/ye s -foxm ark s -be ats -googl e -s ync-w h e n-it-com e s -to-book m ark s -21259 0.ph p]

(Stock ph oto s e arch , fre e ) Som e tim e s it's s l ow and m os tof th e tim e I'd love to s e e e vide nce of a bitm ore m ove m e nt be h ind th e s ce ne s atEve ryStock Ph oto, butit's s til lone of m y favorite place s to find s tock and Cre ative Com m ons -lice ns e d im age s for us e h e re on Life h ack e r. W ith m ore and m ore folks publ is h ing onl ine and lice ns ing th e ir w ork for re us e , s e arch e ngine s lik e ESP are m ore im portantand ne ce s s ary.

Ubuntu Linux

Stikkit

Eve ryStock Ph oto

Th e younge s tand m os tim m ature appl ication in th e bunch , Stik k it(forgive m e ) s tuck w ith m e be caus e of its inputs m arts and ability to organize uns tructure d data w ith flexibility and inte l lige nce . Plus it's pre tty and fun to us e , and in m y opinion, is one of th e be s tof "W e b 2.0."

Is Ubuntu th e ne w s w itch ? [l ife h ack e r.com /s oftw are /as k -th e -re ade rs /as k -th e -re ade rs --is -ubuntu-th e -ne w -s w itch -188781.ph p]

H ow to Tripl e -BootW indow s XP, Vis ta, and Ubuntu [l ife h ack e r.com /s oftw are /ubuntu/h ack -attack -h ow -to-tripl e boot-w indow s -xp-vis ta-and-ubuntu-19 3474.ph p]

Top 10 Ubuntu Apps and Tw e ak s [l ife h ack e r.com /s oftw are /ubuntu/h ack -attack -top-10-ubuntu-apps -and-tw e ak s -19 5437.ph p]

[e ve rys tock ph oto.com /inde x.ph p]

6 W ays to Find Re us abl e M e dia [l ife h ack e r.com /s oftw are /cre ative -com m ons /ge e k -to-l ive -6-w ays -to-find-re us abl e -m e dia-19 7538.ph p]

Stik k it [s tik k it.com ]

Stik k itPe rs onalNote O rganiz e r [l ife h ack e r.com /s oftw are /pe rs onal -inform ation/s tik k it-pe rs onal -note -organiz e r-213437.ph p]

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(Pe rs onalinform ation m anage r)

[ubuntu.com ]


D AVE H

O LZ APFEL

In th e curre nte ra, m os toth e r footballl e ague s us e a pl ayoff s ys te m , s uch as D ivis ion I-AA and th e NationalFootbal l Le ague . Uniq ue to NCAA D ivis ion I footballis th e BCS s ys te m . Th e BCS (Bow lCh am pions h ip Se rie s ) is a s ys te m th atinte nds to m atch up th e tw o be s tte am s in col l e ge football,th ough its e e m s th atalm os te ve ry ye ar is s h roude d in controve rs y. Th e BCS took ove r in 19 9 8 afte r th e utte r failure s of th e Bow l Al liance and Bow l Coalition in th e e arly 19 9 0’ s. Alth ough th e BCS h as be e n th e longe s t s tanding s ys te m of th e th re e , it is plague d by th e s am e problem s th at caus e d th e oth e r tw o to fail. Th e s ys te m is com pris e d of com pute r ge ne rate d rank ings , th e H arris poll and th e USA Today / Coach e s Poll. Th e s e th re e s core s are ave rage d toge th e r to give a te am rank ing. Es s e ntially, th e m ore vote s th e h igh e r th e rank ing. Al th ough th e com pute r points ave rage s ch e dule tough ne s s al ong w ith q uality of te am s playe d and w in m argin, m any pe ople argue th at th e com pute r doe s not accurate ly e xh ibit h ow w e ll a te am is playing. O n th e oppos ition, th e h um an polls are s ubje ct to bias

and h ype . Th e m os t re ce nt and controve rs ial is s ue of h ype e ns ue d w ith th e re s urge nce of Notre D am e . A traditional pow e rh ous e , Notre D am e h ad be e n off tilt for m any ye ars prior to Ch arl ie W ie s (form e r Ne w Engl and Patriots coach ) tak ing ove r. Ins tantl y th e m e dia atte ntion s h ifte d to focus on th e ne w tactics of W ie s and Notre D am e . Th is caus e d an incre as e in th e notability of th e te am as w e llas a h ik e in th e rank ings . Th e s e tw o factors are jus t a fe w of m any th at lie w ith in th e flaw e d s ys te m . Th e BCS e ndors e s five bow lgam e s w h ich are com pris e d of th e R os e , O range , Sugar, Fie s ta, and th e ne w Ch am pions h ip Gam e . Prior to 2006 th e ch am pions h ip gam e rotate d am ong th e four oth e r BCS bow ls.

And th is ye ar th e BCS is again s h roude d w ith controve rs y. Th e infam ous “Florida jum p” h as h ad M ich igan fans in a fit. Alth ough M ich igan los t to USC in th e R os e Bow l, ye t anoth e r controve rs y h as aris e n. A s om e w h at m iraculous ly unde fe ate d Bois e State te am be at a traditional pow e rh ous e , O k lah om a. Th e Broncos be lie ve d th e y s h ould h ave be e n playing O h io State , both re m aining th e only unde fe ate d te am s atth e e nd of s e as on. Fans , coach e s , and playe rs h ave be e n calling for a playoff s ys te m as an alte rnative to th e BCS — re alis ticall y, th is w ill ne ve r h appe n. Th e s ch ools e arn s o m uch m one y playing in BCS bow lgam e s th at it is in th e ir be s t inte re s t to k e e p th e s ys te m around. Th is , along w ith th e length of s ch e dul e — now at a re cord h igh 12 gam e s (13 for s om e ) — jus t doe s not allow for te am s to h ave a playoff. By th e e nd of th e s e as on playe rs are tire d and m any te am s h ave accum ulate d a s ubs tantial am ount of injurie s , w h ich m ak e s a playoff not ve ry fe as ible. Be s ide s w e all k now w h at k e e ps coll e ge football alive : M O NEY !... and th e BCS h as lots of it!

PH O TO JELTO VSK I /M O RGUEFILE

@

ch am pions h ip. Th is be gs th e q ue s tion, w as th e BCS s ys te m de s igne d to facilitate a ch am pions h ip gam e in w h ich th e top tw o te am s in th e country play e ach oth e r or w h e re th e top rating w ill be ach ie ve d? H is torically, pow e rh ous e football s ch ools re ce ive h igh ratings w h ich ge ne rate m one y for th e broadcas te rs as w e ll as th e BCS. M any th e orize th e BCS s ys te m h as a bias tow ards th e s ch ools th at w illproduce th e h igh e s tratings . Se e m ingly, e ve ry ye ar s ince its cre ation th e ch am pions h ips gam e s h ave be e n s te e pe d in controve rs y. Th e Pacific-10 confe re nce , be aring m any bad BCS de cis ions , h as h ad a te am pus h e d out of th e bow lgam e s in m os t of th e re ce nt ye ars , including: 2003-4 Se as on: USC (Unive rs ity of South e rn California) not ch os e n for th e nationalch am pions h ip de s pite be ing #1 in th e polls. 2004-5 Se as on: California Golde n Be ars pas s e d ove r by th e Te xas Long H orns pos t s e as on (CAL w as left out of BCS bow ls e ntire ly). 2005-6 Se as on: Notre D am e #6 tak e s at large s pot ove r #5 rank e d O re gon D uck s (O re gon left out of BCS bow ls).

PAGE30

BCS Bl unde rs

Controve rs y s urrounde d th e BCS th e ve ry firs t ye ar th at th e s ys te m w as e nacte d in 19 9 8-9 9 w h e n K ans as State rank e d #3 w as pas s e d ove r for #4 O h io State and #8 Florida. Th is gave w ay to th e ade q uate ly nam e d “K ans as State R ule” w h ich gave re as s urance th at te am s rank e d in th e top five w ould not be pas s e d ove r for oth e r te am s . Alas , th e ne xt ye ar K ans as State rank e d #6 w as again pas s e d ove r for a les s e r rank e d M ich igan at #8. Th is gave e arly indication of th e fl aw s inh e re nt in th e BCS. Th rough out th e ye ars up and com ing te am s , s uch a K ans as , h ave be e n pas s e d ove r for “traditional pow e rh ous e ” s ch ools lik e O k lah om a, Florida, O h io State , and M ich igan. Th e s e cond m ajor blunde r th at occurre d w as th e 2001-2 s e as on in w h ich Florida State w as s e lecte d to play in th e nationalch am pions h ip. At th at tim e , Florida State w as a one los s te am , th e ir s ingle los s occuring to th e M iam i H urricane s w h o e nde d th e s e as on rank e d #2. Eve n th ough Florida State h ad a les s e r BCS rank ing and h ad los t to th e #2 M iam i H urricane s , th e y w e re s till s e lecte d to play in th e national


R O N S PENCER

T

h rough out tim e th e re h ave alw ays be e n a s e lect num be r of m us icians th at bre ak tradition and ve nture out into th e de pth s of a ne w w orl d to cre ate an al l ne w ge nre of m us ic. Intoxicate d by th e ir original s ound and abs tract lyrics ge ne rations h ave de s ce nde d on a ne w re alm of art. W e allcan look back on bands lik e Th e Be atles , Th e Se x Pis tols, Le d Z e ppe lin, Que e n, Pink Floyd, and e ndles s oth e rs th at h ave allh ad im pacte d th e conte nt of radio w ave s . H ow e ve r, one could only gue s s h ow m any s upe rior bands w e re ove rlook e d by a m one y h ungry m us icalm e dia. I'm h e re to bre ak th e ice and e xpos e th os e bands th at m ay pos s e s th e giftto ins pire th os e w h o l is te n on... CLEAR S TATIC (Sh ow n) Se lf-de s cribe d as s ounding lik e Prince in a k nife figh tw ith Th e K illers . I re ally can'tcom pe te w ith a s tate m e ntlik e th at. Track s of ch oice : O utofControl M ak e Up Se x

Th e Ve rdict... I th ink Prince w on th e figh t.

PAGE31

@

O RIGINALPH O TO K H AM IS H AM M O UDEH /FLICK R

M

AR VELO US BANDS YO U'VE NEVER H EAR D O F


R USSIAN FUTURISTS

Th e Be ach Boys + R e alBig Fis h + 50's m ovie s + s om e good ol'R us s ian vodk a. Track s of ch oice : PaulSim on

JUNIO R BO YS

A Te l e gram From Th e Future : I'M SO RRY. STO P.

(Sh ow n) Im agine Frank Sinatra be ating up Joh n Travolta w ith a s ynth e s ize r in orde r to tak e ove r th e s taring role in Saturday Nigh tFe ve r.

Th e Ve rdict... Ne e ds m ore vodk a.

PINBACK (Sh ow n) Anoth e r s oftand dre am y group from th e Indie ge ne ration w ith a h igh inte llectand a k nack for artis tic cre ativity. Th e s e guys h ave talent, pas s ion, and th e ability to m ak e a bol d s tate m e nt th rough th e ir m us ic. I'm e xpe cting th e m to tak e ove r th e w orld w ith "Fortre s s ." Track s of ch oice : Fortre s s (be s ure to ch e ck outth is m us ic vide o!!!) Loro

Th e Ve rdict... 5 s tars and a ch ocolate cupcak e .

Track s of ch oice : In th e M orning CountSouve ne irs

PH O TO M ALAVAGM A /FLICK R O RIGINALPH O TO FEINSTEINPH O TO S /FLICK R

E

Th e Ve rdict... an E for e ffort.

CARIBO U If Th e Grate fulD e ad m ate d w ith a Syd Barre tPink Floyd and gave birth to Canadian D J's . Track s of ch oice : Ol e H el l o H am m e rh e ads

Th e Ve rdict... 3 and a h alf h its , I m e an, s tars .

SH

INY

TO Y G UNS

I w ould callth e m an e m o ve rs ion of Garbage re s urre cte d w ith a tas te of Indie R ock . Be w are , th e y're h igh ly addictive . Track s of ch oice : Don'tCry O ut Le Dis k o You are th e O ne

Th e Ve rdict... 2 s m ok ing barre ls w ay up!!!

PAGE32

TH


Ge tcaugh tin th e atm os ph e ric q ual itie s of th e ir lyrics and rh yth m ic guitar s ounds , pre pare to be s w e ptaw ay! Track s of ch oice ;

+

Al lofK il lH annah 's original re l e as e s be tw e e n th e ye ars 19 9 6 and 2003 are now s ol d out.

Stay W h e re you Are H e avy Lifting

Th e Ve rdict... 4 and a h alf gold and s h iny s tars .

K ILL H

ANNAH

A h ard, loud, and in your face punk band caugh tin a dis co s oap ope ra. Fus ion of NIN and AFI w ith an im age m oving tow ard boy band s tatus . Track s of ch oice :

PH O TO H UM M ANNA /FLICK R

AM BULANCE LTD

+

M ySpace , a s ocialne tw ork w e bs ite th ath ous e s m any ofth e artis ts h e re , re porte dl y gains 250,000 ne w m e m be rs pe r day. Stars ofTrack and Fie l d [m ys pace .com /s tars oftrack andfie l d] h as al m os ta h al f-m il l ion s ong pl ays th rough th e s ite , K il lH annah h as in e xce s s of600,000 and Am bul ance LTD is w ork ing its w ay up to 300,000.

Lips Lik e M orph ine Love You To De ath

+

M atDe vine , cre ator and l e ad s inge r ofK il lH annah , firs t re l e as e d an EP cal l e d H um m ingbirds th e Siz e ofBul l e ts . Itw as q uite re m ark abl e , m os tl y for th e factth atth e pack aging containe d s uch goodie s as parch m e ntpape r, w e e ds , fe ath e rs and de ad fis h (ifyou w e re l uck y).

S TARS

O F TRACK AND

FIELD

(Sh ow n) From Portland, O re gon, th e s e m e llow artis tic localboys s e nd you off to a dre am land you'llne ve r w antto leave . Track s of ch oice *: M ovie s ofAntarctica W ith You Re alTim e

*Quite pos s ibly e ve ry s ingle track th e y re cord! Th e Ve rdict... I invite d th e m to m y birth day party, tw ice !

Now allyou young and as piring artis ts , you h ave be e n e xpos e d to gre atne s s w h ich re m ains unde rcove r. Live , dre am , cre ate and by allm e ans go forth and lis te n.

PAGE33

Th e Ve rdict... Pote ntial,butcoul d be com e anoth e r Good Ch arlotte .


@

PH O TO PH O TO RECIPRO CITY /FLICK R

March ing Back w ard JO ANNE M O O RE S K EPTIK O NE .BLO GSPO T.CO M

T

Th e gove rnor s aid h e ve toe d th e s tate law be caus e it w as too broad and ove rturne d th e l ocalordinance s . But th e cave dw e ll e rs of th e re publican controlled legis lature s ide d w ith th e gun fre ak s of th e NR A and w e nt agains t th e Gove rnor. So now it’ s ok ay to ow n m ilitary s tyle guns ins ide city lim its again. An as s aul t w e apon, for th os e of you w h o don’ t k now , are s e m i autom atic rifles , pis tols or s h otguns originally de s igne d for m il itary or police us e w ith large r th an norm al am m unition capacity. Th e bullets are typically h ous e d in a re m ovable clip. Se m i autom atic m e ans you h ave to k e e p pulling th e trigge r. Th e ve to ove rride now allow s citize ns to pos s e s s a s e m i autom atic th at can h ol d 10 or m ore bul lets in a re m ovable cl ip. Fully autom atic w e apons are banne d by fe de rall aw for e ve ryone e xce ptth e m ilitary, police and 007 type s .

Th is is w onde rfulne w s for a city th at is in th e m ids t of a re cord bre ak ing ye ar for m urde rs . So far th e re are 79 on th e book s . Th e re cord s e tback in 19 67 at82. *Th e h om icide rate finis h e d at 86, th e m os t s ince 19 50, th e ye ar I w as born. 2007 s tarte d out w ith five de ath s in tw o days .

+

Cincinnati is w ide l y k now n for its e conom ic de ve l opm e nt-- Forbe s m agaz ine cal l e d it one ofth e "Be s tPl ace s for Bus ine s s and Care e rs ;" Fortune rank e d th e city 7th ofth e Top 15 Citie s as Gre atPl ace s to Live and W ork .

PAGE34

h e boys of O h io w on a big one th is w e e k w h e n s tate l e gis lators ove rturne d a Bob Taft ve to of th e curre nt conce al e d carry gun law . Th e ove rride abol is h e d m ore th an 80 local gun ordinance s , including Cincinnati’ s ban on as s aul t w e apons . Th e l aw s w illactual ly fade aw ay in 9 0 days .


NICO LA CO O K W RITING .CO M /AUTH O RS /NICO LA

W

h e n told e nte rtainingly and truth ful ly, s torie s from h is tory’ s te xtbook can be th rill ing, e nligh te ning, appal ling, and de pre s s ing. H is tory’ s tal e s can also be dis torte d, s w e pt unde r th e prove rbialrug, and abbre viate d in th e e ffort to gift w rap th e m for m as s cons um ption. Th e littl ek now n facts , h ow e ve r, ofte n s tand as th e m os t inte re s ting th at our tim e line h as to offe r. I de ligh t in learning th e s e h is torical tidbits , w h ich m any re fe r to as m indles s trivia or cock tail-party conve rs ation, and I am fam ous for m ak ing al lth os e I k now lis te n as I re count th e ne w found k now ledge e nth rall ing m e (e ve n th ough th e y us ually don’ t w ant to h e ar it). In th e s am e ve in, I pre s e nt to you five s uppos e d h is toricaltruth s th at I be lie ve to be both inte re s ting and e njoyabl e , s o th at you m ay go forth and inform your fam ily, annoy your cow ork e rs , and im pre s s your frie nds .

PH O TO SW IRLINGTH O UGH TS /FLICK R

W e allk now th e lege nd of Be n Frank lin, a m an w h o accom plis h e d a gre at m any im pre s s ive th ings , and w h om h is tory h as re ve re d as a ve ritable ge nius . Eve n brilliant h um anitarians , th ough , s om e tim e s m ak e crue l and ve nge fulfath e rs . Jus t as th e Am e rican colonie s s tood divide d be tw e e n th e urge to re volt agains t England and th e ne e d to continue allegiance to th e m oth e r country, s o did Be n Frank lin and h is s on, W illiam . W illiam w as a royal gove rnor of Ne w Je rs e y and firm ly be lie ve d th at Am e rica ow e d h e r s oulto England and s h ould fore ve r re m ain h e r obe die nt and th ank ful ch ild. Ne e dles s to s ay, fath e r Frank lin w as not pleas e d w ith h is s on’ s s tance in th e figh tfor fre e dom . Th orough ly dis gus te d and dis appointe d by W illiam ’ s convictions , Be n Frank lin finally h ad h is s on incarce rate d in a s m alland fil th y s olitary ce llfor th re e ye ars , w h e re W illiam be cam e ve ry ill, los t h is te e th and h air, and w as ne ve r allow e d to s e e h is w ife be fore s h e die d. W h ile it’ s ce rtainly dis tre s s ing to th ink th at a fath e r w ould im pos e s uch h ars h conditions on h is s on, th e ironicaltw is t is th at Be n w as one of th e fore m os t auth oritie s on pris on re form and w ork e d dilige ntly to re s cue oth e r pris one rs w h o w e re s uffe ring s im ilar s ituations . O ur founding fath e r w as n’ t q uite finis h e d ye t, th ough , for W illiam also h ad a s on. So, Be n took h is grands on into h is care , to te ach h im th e “righ t” vie w s and s h ie ld h im from h is fath e r’ s te rribly m is guide d w ays ; in fact, forbidding contactw ith W illiam al ltoge th e r. In 1784, afte r ne arl y a de cade of not h e aring from h is fath e r, W illiam w rote de ar ol d dad a lette r in an atte m pt to re pair th e dam age , th ough s til lnot apologizing for h is political affiliations . Be n w as unm ove d. It s e e m s h e ne ve r forgave W illiam for be traying h im ; and w h e n Be n re vis e d h is autobiograph y, h e actually re m ove d ne arly e ve ry m e ntion of h is dis re putabl e s on.

PAGE35

A

FEW O F H ISTO R Y 'S I@NTER ESTING TR UTH S

1. BENJAM IN FRANK LIN: FO UNDING FATH ER , INVENTO R , R EVO LUTIO NARY , D YSFUNCTIO NAL PARENT


E

H

ILL... TO

G ET M AIM ED

AND

In th e 12th ce ntury, Nure m burg, Ge rm any s tood as a prom ine nt and s ucce s s ful Europe an tow n. It w as also th e e pice nte r for diabolicaltorture s , w h ich w e re pe rform e d in th e dunge on of th e Nure m burg cas tle. Th e m ode rn Englis h language s til linclude s at leas t tw o re fe re nce s to th is cas tle’ s h orrors , nine ce nturie s afte r th e s cre am ing h as s toppe d. O ne of th e punis h m e nts to be s uffe re d by adulte rous m e n and w om e n cons is te d of h arne s s ing th e m to a yok e and forcing th e m to carry h e avy buck e ts of w ate r up a ve ry s te e p h illto th e cas tle. Be tw e e n th e w e igh t of th e yok e and th e w e igh t of th e w ate r, not to m e ntion th e ge ne ralfatigue , Jack w ould ofte n s tum bl e and fall dow n th e h ill , bre ak ing h is crow n. Since th e m an and w om an w e re both attach e d to th e yok e , once Jack fe lldow n, Jillnatural ly cam e tum bling righ tafte r. Eve ryone h ate s ge tting th e th ird de gre e ove r s om e th ing, but not as m uch as w e w ould h ave h ate d it in th e 12th ce ntury. Good torture practice s cons is te d of th re e s te ps in jol ly old Nure m burg cas tle: Firs t D e gre e , Se cond D e gre e , and Th ird D e gre e . For th e Firs t D e gre e , th e s us pe cte d crim inal, h e re tic, e tc., w as inte rrogate d at l e ngth about th e accus ations th at h ad be e n brough t forth . At th e Se cond D e gre e , th e pris one r w as s h ow n th e various ins trum e nts of torture and m utilation, s o th at h is m ind could ponde r th e ir h orrific us e s and th e im pe nding s uffe ring. Th e Th ird D e gre e , of cours e , brough t th e actuals adis tic torture s th at w ould us ually produce th e de s ire d confe s s ion.

3. TH E S EARCH BANK ING

FO R TH E

H

O LY

G RAIL AND INTERNATIO NAL

H is tory h as grante d th e K nigh ts Te m plar a pre s tigious and m ys te rious s tage on w h ich to s tand. In addition to e m bark ing on th e Crus ade s to de fe nd and e xpand th e Ch ris tian te rritorie s , h ow e ve r, th e K nigh ts al s o introduce d a fe w s e rvice s and tools th atre m ain e s s e ntialto m ode rn s ocie ty. Al th ough officially nam e d Th e O rde r of th e Poor K nigh ts of Ch ris t and th e Te m ple of Solom on, th e O rde r w as , ironically, e xtre m e l y pros pe rous . M one y and land grants , donate d by nobles for th e s acre d caus e , cre ate d an obs ce ne fortune for th e ove ral lgroup, th ough th e k nigh ts th e m s e lve s pos s e s s e d no m ate rialw e alth . Since th e K nigh ts w e re continually trave ling acros s Europe and th e H ol y Land, th e y ne e de d to be able to acce s s th e ir funds at various place s and tim e s , re gardles s of w h e n and w h e re th e m one y w as initially de pos ite d. And s o, in th e e arl y 1200s , branch bank ing w as born, as w as th e ch e ck . Th e K nigh ts also brough t back to Europe th e m any te ch nol ogicaladvance s th e y h ad dis cove re d in th e Is lam ic nations . Th e m agne tic com pas s , as w e l las ove rall

k now ledge in m apm ak ing and navigation, h e lpe d th e lagging Europe ans im prove th e ir s ocie tie s and trade .

4. D O NO T CALL A M EDIEVAL M USICIAN A TALENTED ARTIST! In th e m ode rn w orld, w e vie w s inge rs and s ongw rite rs as cre ative and e xpre s s ive artis ts , w h o are s h aring th e ir m us icalcre ations w ith th e m as s e s . In m e die valtim e s , h ow e ve r, th is inte rpre tation w ould h ave be e n cons ide re d an ins ult. R e garde d as a de rivation of m ath e m atics , m e die valm us ic w as look e d upon as a s tructure d and m e th odicalre nde ring, w h os e e q uation, if done corre ctly, could ultim ate ly yie ld th e h arm onious s ound of God. To im ply th at th e m us ician w as s om e h ow e xpre s s ing h is ow n pe rs onalfe e lings and th ough ts , e xpe lling h is s adne s s or e xalting h is joy, w ould s e e m a ludicrous notion and com plete ly fore ign conce ptto m e die valcitize nry.

5. CRIM INALS M AK E G REAT S LAVES

IN TH E

CO LO NIES .

In th e 17th ce ntury, Am e rica w as a vas t ne w l and, ripe for w e lcom ing th e unde s irables of th e m oth e r country; or s o Engl and th ough t. Th e ve ry firs t s lave s to s te p on Am e rica’ s s h ore s w e re actuall y crim inals and oth e r vill ains th at Gre at Britain s ough t to unl oad from its ow n pris ons . Th e colonis ts w e re none too th rill e d, but al lth e ir prote s ts and com plaints w e re ignore d, leading to about400 unde s irables continuing to com e as h ore e ach ye ar. O nce Am e rica h ad w on its inde pe nde nce , h ow e ve r, Engl and could no longe r act as th e im pe tuous bul ly. Ne e ding to find a ne w h om e for its m is cre ants now th at Am e rica h ad clos e d its s h ore s , it turne d its e ye s to anoth e r ne w and vas t land, k now n as Aus tralia. England atte m pte d to e ntice pe ople to s e ttle in Aus tralia w ith th e prom is e of ge ne rous gifts : a h e rd of cow s , th ous ands of acre s of land, and forty pris one rs to be us e d as th e ir ow n pe rs onals lave s . SO UR CES: Th e above h is toricaltidbits can be found in th e book s l is te d be low . I h ave also h e ard a couple of th e m s tate d e lse w h e re , but th e s e re fe re nce s w illgive you th e bas is to learn m ore , s h ould you be s o incline d. A Tre as ury ofGre atAm e rican Scandals by M ich ae lFarq uh ar Th e H is tory ofTorture by D anie lM annix Th e Knigh ts Te m plars : God's W arriors , Th e D e vil's Bank e rs by Frank Sane llo Th e Gre atM ortality by Joh n K e lly

PAGE36

2. JACK AND JILL W ENT U P TH TO RTURED ?


S

o?H ow did you l ik e it?Sh ootm e an e m ail [e ditor@ CR AM -m ag.com ] and letm e k now w h atyou th ough t. O r, be tte r ye t, w rite an article th atyou w oul d w antto s e e in th e ne xtis s ue (ide as are w e l com e as w e l l [contribute @ CR AM -m ag.com ]).

PH O TO TH O M AS H AW K /FLICK R

B

ACK PAGE ISSUE TW O

I cannotth ank th is is s ue 's contributors e nough . If you lik e d any of th e ir articl es I w ould h igh ly re com m e nd ch e ck ing outth e ir re s pe ctive s ite s . Lots of love to th e re ade rs as w e ll:I h ope th is s e cond is s ue is atleas tone w ay w e can th ank you. Th e re h ave be e n re ports of pe ople printing th e m agazine out(!);I th ough tI could m ak e offline re ade r's l ive s a little e as ie r, th us th e ne w l ayoutth at give s allprints a h alf-inch borde r -- good for s tapl e s or s om e th ing. So w h atnow , you as k ?Te l lpe ople. Cre ate articles . Se nd cook ie s .

Se e you ne xtm onth ,

P.S. O ne m ore th ank you: As you can probably te ll , th is m agazine is cre ate d w ith e ntire ly fre e picture s (unde r th e Cre ative Copyrigh tlice ns e ), s o if you lik e w h at you s e e pl e as e go ch e ck outth e ir re s pe ctive ph otograph e rs portfolios . Jus ts e arch for th e pe rs on atth e s ite m e ntione d (Fl ick r [flick r.com ], Stock .xch nge [s xc.h u] and M orgue File [m orgue file.com ]).

PAGE37

Tim Forde n


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