Choice Magazine - Winter2008

Special Interview with Semi-Precious Weapons...the Next Big Thing out of NYC

Magazine CNB Publishing

f o e g r e On the V

Scientific Breakthroughs Views on Voting in ‘08 Dissecting the brain & Breaking hearts…

Along with…..

Winter 2008

Choice Magazine Publisher: CNB Publishing Editors: Crash & Burn

Writers & Reporters: Crash Override AKA Corey D. Bayless AcidBurn AKA Erica Lopez Xicano 073 AKA Rick Reggie T. The Frosted Flake Junior Writers: Princess AKA Mariah Hailey Bayless Fonkey Monkey AKA Cynthia Marie Lopez Artists: Crash & Burn Layout & Page Designs: Crash & Burn

IN AFFILIATION WITH CRASH-N-BURN INC.

The Massacre I Left Behind……14

Babies Makin’Babies And the World Gon’ Crazy…..16 Worm Carnevale…...30

Family Memories on a Shoestring…..34 Hamburger Stew….48 Genome...Known........56

…...36 Welcome…..5 Meet the Writers….7 Index (for a complete list of all items featured)….102

Interview: Semi-Precious Weapons..….60 Business 101…..64

the fifth of august…..71

Water No Get Enemy…....88 Voting in ‘08……..99

Ultimate Christmas Gift Guide…….49

…...24

…...84

How Do You Turn a Phrase?.....20 The Ultimate Trilogy War…..24 Chemical of the Month…..27 Crash Course Advice Column….54 Just My Flavor……57 She is Choice...…..58 Phat Flicks….80 Crash-n-Burn’s Official Hot List…….84

Welcome… to the next issue of

CHOICE Magazine!

I know you’ve missed us and are looking forward to the latest issue. We’ve brought back all of your favorite writers; there’s even a few new faces that I know you’ll enjoy. We are still bringing you the blunt, honest, truth as we see it. As always, we welcome all your comments and questions.

Thanks for stopping by.

With Love, Burn...

DISCLAIMER: All people, places, and topics included in Choice Magazine are in no way affiliated with Choice Magazine except where otherwise noted. All articles and stories in Choice Magazine are based on our writer’s research and opinions.

Crash-n-burn inc.

We Will Bend Your Mind

Heavy is the head that wears the crown.

Dear______, I sense a lot of tension in your gaze. You look at me and wonder why I don’t look back. It’s as if you’ve been waiting this whole time for me to talk to you and are pissed off at my inaction. I never made an effort and now, I can’t even look in your direction without a sense of shame. There’s nothing wrong with you. In fact, from these jaded eyes, you are quite amazing. Maybe too amazing for a rotten soul like me. I imagine you as pure, everything that I’m not. One who loves pets, has infinite patience with children, does random good deeds, and goes to church. Yeah, I can’t live up to that. Then again, maybe you’re just as freaky and twisted as me, sensual rhythms beat out by the bones in your closet. I guess we’re never who we appear to be.

The reason why all this gets to me hit me the other day. Your sweetness and soft-spoken nature remind me of a high school friend’s girl. She too, was the sweetest, cutest, purist person one could hope to meet in this gutter of a world.

And while I never developed anything resembling “love” for her, I did let her smile dance in my dreams occasionally, and felt appropriately guilty afterwards.

I never wanted her, only someone just like her. I don’t know where either of them is anymore, or if they’re even still together. All I know is that I only feel safe writing this knowing that they and you will never read it.

Then again, maybe I got it all wrong. You’re probably in a relationship or are into chicks, or both. Maybe you only look in my direction because you can’t help but stare at the grumpy, unshaven jerk who wears the same clothes almost everyday. And look at his shoes, all worn out like a bum‘s. Well if that’s the case, by all means judge me. I did it to you. It’s only fair.

Walking past you without glancing in your direction, Rick 9

12 oz Cooked macaroni (elbows) drain Mix with cube cheddar and jack or pepper jack Mix in bowl: ½ cup sour cream ½ cup cream ½ cup milk ¼ tsp cayenne Punch nutmeg Salt & Pepper to taste ½-1 tsp dry mustard Put mac & cheese in baking dish, then pour over big mixture Top with shredded cheese Bake at 350° for 30-40 minutes Top with bread crumbs Place in oven til golden brown Serve Hot!

by

AcidBurn

…but spread so thin and in the hands of many, it’s hard to organize into one place, one thought, so why try…

There are two types of people in the world: people who watch the X-Files and those who do not. The reasons for liking the show may vary. The main characters, Fox & Dana…Mulder and Scully…are smokin’ hot, but still ordinary and relatable to a lot of people. The characters as individuals never changed who they were, but they were still able to grow throughout the series. Many of the stories played out were often very far fetched but always had a hint of the possibility of bring true.

The fact is the writers of the X-Files actually consulted real scientists to create the stories so that the stories were mostly based on fact. Some scenarios were not likely to have actually occurred, but the professional consultants provided enough facts to produce plausible phenomena.

To find out more information about the research put into the series can be found in The Real Science Behind the X-Files by Anne Simon, Ph.D. The series carried on for nine years and I feel the show has always been underrated and over criticized. It is and was one of the greatest TV shows ever on the air. It is a classic and there has never been another show like it. Every attempt has only failed miserably. Each episode usually carried a continuing story, but many episodes could be viewed alone and be enjoyed by everyone.

I don’t think that I could pick a favorite episode, because there are a lot of great ones. If I had to pick one season to recommend, it would have to be Season 3. This season aired in 1995-96 and has a lot of classic episodes as well as many stories that can be viewed by anyone without being a fan or regular viewer.

(Insert random Sci-Fi cliché.)

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She came to win the hearts of Americans and in the end she only needed one. Sarah, frustrated after losing the election, has to consort with her contacts across the globe. Not far from Russia, her home in Alaska has been the base of her communications with the Russian spies trying to infiltrate the U.S. government. The goal was to get her in the White House, but plans have changed. In light of her recent defeat, there will be a Universal in Vegas in which figure heads from all over the world meet in an effort to formulate a new plan. Someone is going to die. Who will it be? Some one has to take the fall. Sarah heads to Alabama to find a local yokel, someone who has never heard of her. She finds Norma Rae and takes her to Las Vegas to set her up as a patsy. Norma has no idea what she’s in for. Sarah might be in over her head.

With an all-star cast including Arquette, Sheen, Jovovich, Spacey, Travolta, Rodman, Larter, & Bellamy.

Sarah plays a U.S. politician on the take. Norma Rae is the country bumpkin patsy set to take the fall.

Charlie Sheen is a jackass with a trust fund that knows way too much. Patricia Arquette is a bit of a mystery; no one knows where she came from or how she joined the operation, but she is manipulating Sheen into taking over the operation. Milla Jovovich is an expert spy with a hand-picked team of spies and assassins. Bill Bellamy, one of Milla’s top spies, is a marksman and one of the world’s most notorious assassins. Ali Larter, also a member of Jovovich’s alliance, is a great spy with an expertise in electronics. Dennis Rodman, merely known as the ‘Profiler’, is a psychological analyst that seems to know everything about everyone. Kevin Spacey is a simple dumb-dumb; he’s just too valuable to let go. He holds too many secrets and holds the key to a lot of information that keeps him in the game. John Travolta is the money-man; he is single handedly funding the entire operation including all the Russian spies from his own pocket. He inevitably is killed at the Universal.

Sarah returns home after having lost the election to find the Russians in her living room. She is informed of the problems at hand and advised to find herself a patsy, and they will make everything work out. Sarah takes a trip down to Alabama. Sarah and Norma Rae soon arrive in Vegas. And then the Universal. All the key figure heads arrive in Vegas; they gather in the penthouse suite at the Tangiers Casino. While things are being discussed, some things begin to go wrong. John Travolta dies, and the real chaos begins. Sarah is trying to set Norma up to take the fall. Arquette and Sheen are putting their plans to take over the operation in motion; this is their perfect chance.

Will Norma Rae take the fall? Who really shot Travolta? How are Arquette & Sheen planning on taking over 13 the operation and can they do it? What finally becomes of Sarah when this is all over?

Take this noose and wrap it around my neck.

Take this noose and wrap it around my neck.

Choking i can’t breathe, solitude confine me.

Drop the ropes stand next to me.

Platforms of darkness i can not see.

Far away ill live free, but today destroy me.

Confidence is nothing.

Sacrifice im near closing all the doors you won’t find me.

Escape my fate my life unfolding.

Into bliss so sick and rich, fu*k this sh*t you fu*kin bi*ch.

Clear skys ahead im close and near.

Im not afraid of anything i have no fear.

Mascarade like a puppet pull my strings ive lost all hope.

For this i choke, ill never know, until it shows that i am lost.

No coming back, closing in, its the attack apologetic I wont react.

Ill forgive but i wont forget.

Ive brought on life to live through my name.

Your all fu*ked and will never be the same.

He brings on fire and hell with him.

Pray for mercy theres no remorse within him.

Cast your stones, they will not affect him.

Because he holds the strength of 1000 men.

If you cant survive then join him.

I never knew, but maybe…youll know what its like to win.

Its your choice ignore the facts, cause at the end of the world he gets your ass.

14

The environment is being destroyed, genocide in all corners of the globe, food prices at an all time global high, and fanatics taking positions of power. With that being said, it’s time to panic about teenage pregnancy. Everybody run, it’s babies having babies!! I will never belittle the struggle that it takes to raise children, especially when you are young. I did it (still am) and it’s not something you just wake up one morning and are ready for. Parenting requires so many things: love and… love, um, did I mention love? Yeah, all you need is love (thanks John). Society has deemed child rearing a skill that has to be acquired, like a class you take at a technical school. Parenting is actually something the opposite of “learning” (in a scholarly context), it is something that is genetically inside all of us. If you’ve ever heard a woman refer to her “motherly instinct,” that’s what she’s talking about.

What we need to know is already in us, the little stuff we pick up on the journey. So why do we hear so much Puritanical crap about the ‘tragedy’ of teenage pregnancy? I think it has to do with the previous generations magical ability to be “all-up-in-theKool-Aid” overbearing and disgustingly apathetic simultaneously.

The first ‘problem’ with high school girls getting pregnant is that they’re having sex. Yes, that sentence wasn’t supposed to make sense. In case you didn’t know, teenagers have sex. The ones that don’t wish they were. Parents all over the world are going to have to accept this. You can’t stop it, control it, or manipulate it; it’s not the damn stock market. You have no speculative deals to make. There is no “right” way to raise a celibate teen, except to accept that their isn’t going to be one. Stop fighting it, get these kids some condoms, STD education, and just assume that any time teens are getting together they’re having sex (and getting drunk and stoned, but that’s another subject).

The most compelling argument against having children young, is that teens aren’t responsible enough to raise children. This is important because having kids does take admitting that there is someone more important than you to look after. Teenagers have a problem doing this because they are shallow, selfish and materialistic. But wait, that seems to be the general traits of 90% of society. The caricature of the uncaring, self-involved, mid-thirties soccer mom (and the more classic, workaholic, uninvolved father) wouldn’t resonate throughout pop culture if there wasn’t truth to it. Our society has turned out more than a few generations of inconsiderate, narcissistic people, and it is not exclusive to people of a certain age. The fact is, being a parent makes you a responsible person or it doesn’t. This is true for an eighteen year old, a twenty-five year old, or a forty year old. Screwing up your child’s life is an equal opportunity risk when it comes to age. Some teen parents let society convince them that their child is the reason for a miserable situation, and so do some middle aged, former yuppies (is “ouppies“ a word). Some college graduate, corporate cogs are wonderful, loving, first-time parents, and so are some waitresses who dropped out of high school with a bun in the oven and a chip on their shoulder (as Slug said “Go ahead

and hate the world girl, you‘ve earned the right“). The people who can’t get it together at sixteen are no worse off than the ones who can’t get it together at thirty… …No worse off, except financially. Once again, money matters (what a shock). Teens are told that having a baby will ruin there chances of getting a good job, going to college, or having the freedom to do all those things that they will regret not doing when they get older. But for the working class, the opportunities for college, good careers, and “adventures” (for lack of a less bourgeois word) are limited to begin with. So the real question is: Do teenage parents languish in poverty because they have kids, or do kids with few opportunities assert their presence in the world by starting the next generation? I don’t think the answer is so clear cut. When you get down to it, most people are not opposed to young people starting families, but fear that they will have to support them through the welfare state, because kids too irresponsible to keep it in their pants obviously can’t get jobs. Tempting, juicy, tree of knowledge apples and everyday, sour oranges, people (I know peaches is the more appropriate sexual metaphor, but who ever heard of comparing peaches and oranges?). Their deep dark secret is they don’t want to pay for raising Black, brown and poor white trash babies. Don’t we have enough of them around already? I had a teacher in high school who was open minded enough to jump right over teenage sex, but then advocated forced birth control shots for all teen girls (for the welfare reason I mentioned) . Even as a joke…well, did anybody else see the movie “Conspiracy?” (Still, nothing but love Miss Farmer, and excuse the memory if I misunderstood you) One of them pandering, white liberals once said “It Takes a Village” to raise a child. Well, come on my fellow villagers and lend a helping hand. You unquestioningly support a “defense” budget the size of (insert lame attempt at humor here, possibly involving Vida Guerra), but you’ll attack a WIC program. What is wrong with you bastards?

It is only slightly a coincidence that I’m writing this in the aftermath of Jamie Lynn Spears, Juno, the Massachusetts pregnancy pact, the Baby Borrowers, and Gov. Palin’s daughter. I was at my daughter’s soccer practice when all these recent events acted as an “inspiration” only in so far as I was having trouble thinking of writing topics. This media obsession with teenage pregnancy has been festering in my mind for many years.

None of these particular stories are of interest to me personally, only the media’s reaction to them (except maybe the Bristol Palin story because, in remembering that the personal is always political, it’s an almost too perfect example that abstinence-only education is stupid and doesn’t work).

I don’t write these words simply to justify my young, dumb (and full of…ahh, never mind) actions, because my daughter’s happy life is almost all her mother’s doing, I’m just along for the ride. Mostly, when I hear about the teen pregnancy hysteria I get upset for my man Corey. Here’s a guy who had his daughter even younger than me and (putting my dad on a separate, unattainable pedestal) there’s no better father I know of.

Since her birth he’s been working like a dog, and he’s only happy to do it some more, and still make the time to enter her childhood world. She’s his whole life, and I wonder if I can ever come close to knowing what that kind of selflessness is like. Brother, if all school-age dads turned out to be you, girls probably wouldn’t worry about pregnancy so much (though their fathers would probably still keep the shotguns loaded). You’re the model for what we all should be and you inspire me, man (I sill ain’t watching ‘Bring it On’ though, I don’t give a damn).

(Lest you think I got your backs completely, some of you young parents need an Iceberg Slim slap. If you fathered a baby, you have financial and emotional responsibilities. I don’t give a damn what you think is a priority today, tomorrow, or

next week. Wake Up!! It’s your child, now and forever. And let that piss off the current who you conned into bed. If that’s more important than your child, then do the world a favor and go get castrated with a broken beer bottle. At the risk of losing my feminist credentials (I know I put them somewhere around here), if you are a mother who is suing for child support, think first. Are you doing all right by yourself? Are you only suing out of spite? Will suing him now ruin his credit and his life (jail time), when if you give the man time (if he’s honestly trying) he can make a better life for himself and the child that you share. Remember Marx: From each according to his abilities, to each according to (her) needs (excuse the mangling of the quote, but that does about sum up my position).)

Hundreds of years ago we were married at fifteen, parents by sixteen, and dead by thirty-five. Sounds like a simpler time. I’m not one to try to put the halt on humankind’s progress (in fact, I’m trying to hurry it along), but there’s a reason we are always looking backwards. My father once told me an old saying (man, I’m gonna screw this one up too): “No man is a son, until he is a father.” Maybe something’s lost in translation, or I’m remembering it wrong, but I take it to mean we don’t understand what our own existence meant to our parents until we have kids ourselves. All the hell we give them and the whoopings they gave back, it’s all worth it. This is for all the families where parents and kids were taught by the same teachers, because the teachers didn’t have time to retire in between. This is for everybody who’s cupboard has only two items: Ramen and Enfamil. This is for all the girls sitting in Algebra II who have to pee really bad. I can’t speak for everybody else, but I’ll baby-sit anytime.

(Hypocrisy Alert: If you read this someday baby girl, I’m talking about everybody else’s kids. Don’t turn my hair grey.)

This is my experience: There is so much pressure on being accepted. Your hair, make-up, clothes, your height; are you hot or not? It’s not only females it’s also males.

Even though it’s mostly thought to be girls. The low self-esteem and the way we can be affected by other people starts when we are kids. Things we hear from family and loved ones can be devastating. Being called chunky, skinny, amazon, shrimp, being picked last to play or left out, dumb or even being too smart. I could go on and on, but we all know everyone gets it one way or another. Some are affected more than others; and some never get over it or it can take years.

I was very little and also skinny, kind of a klutz (you know always running into stuff), and my brother and 2 sisters brought A’s and B’s home without trying in school. (I was a C-D student with hard work) I was known as the “pretty one” but the “stupid one.” You might think that wouldn’t be so bad but if you ask me pretty didn’t mean anything. “I was stupid” or so I thought, and sometimes still do even though I am middle aged now. Then as I got older I stayed skinny; the rest of my family gained weight pretty easy so I had another label. Even being thin when I got to my 20’s I started being so scared of getting overweight. Even after three kids, but I still catch myself worrying. The point is everything we hear or things even from childhood make part of who we are. When you really think about it, the littlest thing can affect you your whole life. The hurt and damage we can cause someone even just playing around is so very sad. Always remember the strong effect you can have and how much difference you can make saying something positive. In the long run you feel better yourself. We don’t have to be cruel or mean to feel better about ourselves. It doesn’t make me feel better even if I don’t know the person. Just think about yourself and how you’ve been made to feel. I think you’ll realize everyone is Hot to someone!

by AcidBurn (Actually it is a turn OF phrase, and all that means is ‘a way of saying something.’)

This reminds me of all the idioms, old wives’ tales, and other cliched phrases that are repeated over and over again through out life. Many of us dismiss them as such; “oh, it’s just something you say…that never really happens, right?”

Well, in fact, they are all too often very true and they sneak up on you because you don’t address them and give them the attention needed to avoid the fallout.

My quote of the day is:

“a Little Learning is a Dangerous Thing” We are all expected to know certain things; part of a thing called common knowledge. The things that we learn through the public education system are the minimum requirements. Then there are things that you learn through life; the “life lessons.” Everyone’s knowledge is not identical, and that’s fine and understandable. The things that we choose to remember will vary. In this day and age of trivia game shows and testing our knowledge against school-aged children, we are constantly faced with what we do or do not know. I think that it is good to learn a little bit of everything, especially the things that everyone should know: History, Science, Government & Economics (see other article), not all Math, just applicable Math… At least then you will know when others are full of it.

Most people love to show off their knowledge when they think they know something. Sometimes it is easy to ignore; sometimes you know for sure that they’re wrong, and sometimes you have to prove them wrong. They try to tell you things just to appear smarter when they are actually quite wrong, and all they do is appear more foolish!

Again, I think it is good to learn a little of everything. However, it must be understood that you might not know everything. I’ve noticed that there are these people who, more often than not are females, attend some kind of 2year, trade or technical school. All of a sudden they think they’re professionals. They get a certificate in the Nursing, Pharmacy, or Medical field as an assistant or technician. Sure, these people are vital for proper healthcare, but what about when they are outside of the workplace?

20

They think that they can diagnose disease and all but write the prescription for the medicine they think you need! They will tell you exactly why their baby has the sniffles (without ever visiting the child’s doctor). They load their babies full of unnecessary drugs because they think they know best.

Anyone can read a book, which doesn’t mean they are qualified to treat patients.

You would think that most ‘good’ parents would want the best possible development for their baby. But, what happens when they think they know better and feed a child ridiculous foods and food substitutes. Yes, it’s true that young children are more overweight now than ever before; but some people have got it into their head that it is okay to feed small children artificial foods. None of which are anywhere near fatal, but of all of them the worst are the artificial sweeteners that have become quite popular as of late.

There has been no evidence that artificial sweeteners are better than real sugar for developing children. More importantly, there has been no evidence that artificial sweeteners are safe for children to consume. So little do you know, your attempt to make your child healthier could actually be hurting them as they grow into adults.

The message to take home is to not trust everything you read on the internet or hear on the news. If you really want medical advice, you should seek out a trained, medical professional.

Discount Rates On: Airfare Rental Cars Hotel Rooms

It is universally known that people have 5 senses… …Well brace yourself…because that is universally wrong.

Psychologists and scientists have been doing research on sensation and perception for many, many years now and the fact is that we actually have 10 senses not 5.

Everyone is comfortably familiar with the initial five senses that we have been taught since grade school (Vision, Hearing, Smell, Taste, & Touch).

The truth is that experts have taken touch and divided it into four individual senses referred to as Pressure, Warmth, Cold, and Pain. Pressure and Pain are distinctively different.

It may not be so obviously clear the difference between warmth and cold (at least when referring to temperature as a sense), yet there are actually completely different sensory receptors that will fire when one’s body temperature increases or decreases.

Have you ever heard someone say to you or someone else, “You have absolutely no sense of balance?” Little did they know just how much truth there is in that statement. The fact is that Vestibular is the ninth sense; it is the sense of balance.

The tenth and final sense is Kinesthesis. This is the one that is a bit hard to comprehend.

The easy way to grasp this concept is to close your eyes and move one of your hands or feet; the fact that you are completely aware of where and in which position your body parts are even without being able to get that visual conformation is exactly what kinesthesis is.

There you have it folks, you were lied to. Okay, okay, okay …you weren’t lied to, don’t get twisted. You have just learned a bit more. Research develops new theories everyday and well…

You have 10 senses…

Here is my argum ent towards what I think is the best Future" I am mor movie trilogy eve e of Reality base r. "Back To The d movie goer, I lo but are still kind ve m ov of based on reality ie . I think the tech s that let me escape reality, reality then Star nology in the movie Wars and Harry is closer to P otter. (plus the delorea n is like the best car ever made) pl travel then fight us wouldn't you ev evil creations or er like to time fight some Daddy all my thoughts m in a big black space s y head is empty on uit ce again so as soo n as it fills up i w . well that is ill spill it to you.

LOVE THE COWBOY JOKER Lord of the se o ch I n o s a re Alright well the old!!! That so is rs a W r ta S t Rings is tha nd they like a ! !! o g a rs ea y 0 happened like 3 rst and then the fi e n o nd 2 e th h started wit ings spark my R e th f o rd Lo . es rest of the seri fantasy it f o d in k e th e ik l interest because I a lot better than is t s ju it k in th I provides and pinion!!!!

Star Wars in my o

Kat

Wars is r a t S e idding m bout elves and k u o y e r dude a e story a obbit m o s n Come on a h ell is a h uperior t s h e e r h t o t m a r h ju s t a t fa W o . n s t s i i b s b r nd h o Star Wa hat makes it a s e d fairies a i s e b lol and es have erefore t i h r t i , a o f w t R anyway actually any LOT r. is if t i d , n y a g s trilo tsabe h ortion g p i l o r y p m c i p , TX ck C C .

B saga of e ith it they can su e k Mi w m e l b o r p a

Life in Shades of “Life in Shades of Grey” is an examination of issues that are not clear cut. Most “controversial” issues are merely distraction from the real debates we should be having. The topics for which “black and white” are unwanted extremes are the ones I will be writing about in these pages.

I CAME IN THE DOOR, SAID IT BEFORE (or How I Learned to Start Worrying and Hate the Vote) To vote or not to vote, what does it matter? After Florida 2000 and an ‘06 midterm, where a “sweeping referendum against the war” did absolutely nothing, I know it seems pointless. It is, but it isn’t. Voting won’t bring a more just society. It won’t stop American imperialism. It won’t bring us closer to a culture that says “we take care of each other“ and “everyone is free to be themselves“.

This is the perfect reason to say screw the whole thing and concentrate on individual, daily actions that can have an effect on change. This is what upwards of 50% of the population does every four years, consciously or not, performing what I heard Jello Biafra refer to as a “vote strike.” But if we’ve been doing this for years, and things have only gotten worse, can we afford to stay on the apathy path?

The one time I voted passionately was my first opportunity. It was the 2000 presidential race that turned into such a mess that everyone pretends it never happened (especially Bush and Cheney).

I voted for Ralph Nader in an election year where hopes for change were high (sound familiar?) and the momentum of a Green Party actually seemed like the train to be aboard (no one had any illusions about Nader winning). It looked like things were really happening (to my young, naïve ass) after the WTO protests in Seattle, the DNC protests in L.A., growing dissatisfaction with weak “liberals,” and Rage Against the Machine (big bad commies that they were) being one of the biggest bands in the country.

Well, we know what happened. Bush pulled a rabbit out of the Supreme Court hat, and September 11th became every reactionary’s wet dream. I’ve shunned voting ever since.

Voting is pointless on the big issues. In the two-party system the game is rigged. The corporations and lobbies spread the money on both sides, and neither side can make policy based on “ideology” when they have to worry about the well drying up. For this reason, both major parties express views that are insignificantly different when it comes to foreign policy, the military, religion in public life, health care, education, the drug war, and capitalism in general. Since what they differ on is means, not ends, it makes it hard for the working class to get motivated enough to even enter the political discussion.

Since we don’t have a lobby for our issues, we are ignored and left with a choice between “more of the same” and “more or less the same as before.”

In 2004, Kerry was a vomit-inducing choice, Nader had been turned into the whipping boy of the Democrats, and the Greens played the “safe states” strategy. It was with all this in mind that an interesting line of reasoning popped up. The thought was that all the anger and frustration that was growing against Bush would disappear if Kerry won, but nothing about the system would really change.

This theory said that Bush was such a perfect embodiment of everything wrong with American government, that he could be a rallying point for people in the struggle, especially internationally. Voting for Bush, as a way of speeding up the process of American foreign policy imploding, was

suggested by some as a truly radical act in the name of keeping people angry enough to demand changes.

Four years later and we know that the destruction and death continued, but the revolt never got big enough to change anything. (I found out later that some said the same thing in 2000. That Gore, with almost the exact same policies as Bush, couldn’t arouse the anger of the global community the way Bush could [and did]. I could think of a couple million Iraqis who would challenge the moral validity of this theory.)

So why should we care when it‘s an election season? First off, it can make it easier to talk about politics in general. When big campaigns are going on, it doesn’t throw people for a complete loop when you start up on an issue raised on the news the night before. You can take a bland policy disagreement between the candidates and spin it into an indictment of the whole program. In most cases, you’ll make the other person think about the issue in a way they’ve never thought about it before. In a best case scenario, you’ll find they know exactly what you’re saying and you’ve found another comrade.

Getting out to the polls for the national candidates is a waste of your precious time, but local issues can be won if enough previously apathetic people just make the decision that it’s worth it (Hint: vote early. You can vote at any polling station, not just your designated one, and the lines are almost non-existent ). Stopping wasteful city projects, sports stadiums funded by tax dollars, and local reactionaries can easily be done with a little organizing and commitment. Radical politics can win locally when we tap into the anger and dissatisfaction with the two-party status quo. While you’re there doing your part for your community, go ahead and vote to keep the most extremist views out of Washington.

Obama’s a horrible choice, but the alternative? Even better, vote your conscience. Let everyone know that even in a homogonous state like Texas there are independent thinkers.

While not as progressively important, studying the results of ballot initiatives can gauge just how much ground we still have to cover in this (fooled) right-wing country of ours. Seeing the results of “protection” of marriage acts or racist Prop. 187-type legislation can give us a much needed reality check.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned since 2000, it’s that most of the country (at least the part represented in the media and politics) does not think like me. It’s a shame that I’m seen as some sort of crackpot at home, when my beliefs are shared by great masses of people all around the world. Watch those election results and see how much work still needs to be done in America.

If these ideas seem mushed up, incoherent, and in opposition to each other; that’s the point. I don’t have the answer. I think if we let them get away with the “Vote.. Make Your Voice Heard… We’re Free and Democratic… Yeah!!” illusions, then we can never get past this stage in political evolution.

How do you get people to fight for democracy and liberty, when they think they already have it? That old clichéd slogan still applies (clichés usually are true or we’d have made up new ones by now) “if voting changed anything, they’d make it illegal.” I believe this with all my heart and intellectual being, but please, go vote. Please, please, please go vote. It’s still seems to be better (pragmatically) than what happens when we throw up our hands and say “f--- it, it can’t get any worse.” The crowing achievement of Bush’s presidency is proving once and for all, that things can always get worse. And remember, it was in a fair and democratic election that Hitler came to power. I have a hard time siding with the principled decision to ‘vote strike’ in that election. Then again, Hitler was only one man. It takes a nation of millions to carry out genocide.

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Photographer and artist, Worm Carnevale, is highly regarded for his breathtaking and eye catching photographs and works of art. Worm’s photography ranges from unique high fashion and fine art photos to product and commercial photography. His works are best known for their extreme use of color and overly exaggerated and dream-like themes. Worm’s photography can be found in numerous printed publications and throughout the internet. He’s currently working with Rive Magazine (rivemagazine.com), an internet based fashion magazine. For more of Worm's photographs and artwork you can visit his website at: www.wormc.com or check out his myspace at: www.wormphotography.com

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The memories with my children can put a joy in my heart no matter what is going on or no matter how bad or tough I feel. They are my heart. And now I have grandchildren and it’s even more wonderful to see my children pass it on to their own children and even come up with their own ideas.

Some of my memories are thrifty, simple, and very inexpensive, and the kids thought they were awesome fun. No matter what you do keep it happy, light, and full of love. Nothing has to be perfect. I love watching my kids smile when we remember all of our fun and sillys, and sharing with their children. I want to let you in on some of our fun and you can make plenty of your own.

Some of these might not sound fun but you can make them fun while teaching them too.

Ex.) Come up with a container for their toys and decorate with stickers, colors; even on a cardboard box. My kids had colors or crayons at 1 ½ - 2 yrs old just do it together! Make picking up toys fun. And when you’re done-go outside, watch a special movie or some little fun praise.

Ex.) Crafts – for gifts or any occasion and they are treasured more than anything store bought. Color, water paint, poster art, kits to glue together; the craft stores are awesome.

Ex.) We always had a movie night. We called it a picnic. We made hotdogs, pizza, burgers whatever for dinner, got in our P.J’s and spread a big blanket in front of the television, got our pillows. I have three children they each picked a movie and we would fall asleep together like a slumber party. No expense--we had to eat dinner anyway but wonderful memories.

Ex.) Make treats and snacks together (Jello, cookies, Rice Krispies treats, pudding.) With the cookies and cakes let the kids have them to decorate. Mine always did the Daddy’s B-Day & Father’s Day. We baked cookies or something every holiday and then decorated. We also made things and decorated the house even on St. Patrick’s Day. (collect Jello molds and cookie cutters) They do it with their kids now as they grow.

Ex.) Collect something – stickers, sea shells, rocks, (thimbles and spoons or shot glasses from different places you go as a family, we had bells and mugs, T-shirts.

Ex.) That’s another – make T-shirts with washable glue, glitter, etc.

Ex.) We had a garden tub and my 3 toddlers and I would swim in the tub play with water toys and wear our suits just like we were at the pool only it was winter swimming!

The last thing if you can take pictures of everyday things because every second, with your family is special!

There is nothing that can bring a smile to my face and my heart faster than thinking and remembering my kids.

Enjoy every second!

Fringe is the hottest new drama of the Fall.

This new mini-drama is excellent; it’s like watching X-Files on crack. It has all the insane conspiracies, scientific experiments, and intense investigations but all at such a high speed that you’re on the edge of your seat the entire time. It’s phat; if you haven’t seen it, you gotta see it.

The NFL off-season had its ups and downs this year and everyone had their doubts about the entire Brett Favre situation. He ended up with the NY Jets and set an all new career high when he threw for 6, that’s right count ‘em, 6 touchdowns in one game. Mad props to my man Brett, a living legend.

Kid Rock, by far one of the greatest damn dudes in the business, released ‘Rock and Roll Jesus’ which has recently blown up. Kid is constantly underrated, and rarely gets the credit he deserves. When you listen to his music, and I mean really listen not just hear it, you can feel the music, the emotion. He sings with such passion and conviction. His first album was released in 1990 and 18 years later he’s still rockin’ and hasn’t changed a bit. A lot of spectators tend to think he has changed, but if you actually listen to his music and hear what he’s saying, he sings the way he feels. His emotions have changed, but he hasn’t. He is still the same Kid Rock from Detroit that he was when he broke onto the scene, and he refuses to conform and bend to please others.

‘Everything you can love & Everything you can hate’, he just is who he is.

Bob, I’m feelin’ you dawg.

Much love and mad props.

You keep doin’ what you’re doin’ and keep Kid Rockin’ in the free world.

It's another night in hell Another child won't live to tell Can you imagine what it's like to starve to death And as we sit free and well Another soldier has to yell Tell my wife and children I love them in his last breath C'mon now amen, amen, amen Habitual offenders, scumbag lawyers with agendas I'll tell you sometimes people I don't know what's worse Natural disasters or these wolves in sheep clothes pastors Now damn it I'm scared to send my children to church And how can we seek salvation when our nations race relations Got me feeling guilty of being white But faith in human nature, our creator and our savior, I'm no saint But I believe in what is right C'mon now amen, amen I said amen, amen Stop pointing fingers and take some blame, Pull your future away from the flame Open up your mind and start to live Stop short changing your neighbors Living off hand outs and favors, and maybe Give a little bit more than you got to give Simplify, testify, identify, rectify And if I get high stop being so uptight It's only human nature and I am not a stranger So baby won't you stay with me tonight It's a matter of salvation from them patience up above, So don't give up so damn easy on the one you love, one you love Somewhere you got a brother, sister, friend, grandmother, niece or nephew Just dying to be with you You know there's someone out there who unconditionally, religiously, loves you So just hold on 'cause you know it's true And if you can take the pain And you can withstand anything, and one day Stand hand in hand with the truth I said amen, I said amen I said amen, I said amen, Amen-

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WHO’S PANIC ARE YOU LOOKING FOR? or IF I HAD HISPANIC, I WOULDN’T LEAVE THE HOUSE Neurotic admission time. I can’t write this piece without a giant preface. I believe that race, like many manmade concepts (*cough* religion *cough*), was created to pit us against one another for no other reason than to benefit the already powerful. The only race that matters is the human race that we are all a part of (save the ‘pride’ for something you accomplished after you were born). That being said, I’ve had a huge problem with an “accepted truth” of our American culture in regards to race. It was there on every standardized test in school, on job and loan applications, and most nights on the evening news. It’s a shame there are so many bad attributes that could connect those three mentions, but only one will be our topic this evening (and please, no cell phones in the auditorium). Gather around children and let me dispel some myths: Oswald couldn’t have acted alone, Led Zeppelin sucked, Easter is about mating and procreating - not Jesus, and there is no “Hispanic” race.

TIME TO GET BUSY IN THIS MOTHER… To clarify, “Hispanic” and “Latina/o” are defined as someone who is Latin American. Latin America is defined as the area south of the U.S. where Spanish, Portuguese or French are the predominant languages spoken. This doesn’t define a race any more than New Yorker or Texan does. It describes someone based on location. If “Hispanic” means anything, it means someone who speaks Spanish (like those Europeans in Spain) and “Latina/o” is someone who speaks a language derived from Latin (like those Europeans in Romania!). Years ago, it was decided that our true origins were unimportant, and that lumping us all together was the easiest way to keep track of us, market to us, and in subtle ways even control us. This doesn’t even take into account the fact that by dismissing who we really are, history gets whitewashed by default. It is impossible to discuss our race without looking at the history of the “Americas.”

The fact is, from Canada to the Great Plains, the Caribbean to the mountains of Mexico, and the Yucatan to the tip of Chile; this was Indian land, inhabited by Indians. I won’t recount what happened. Even the most racist champion of “Manifest Destiny” can’t deny the genocide that befell our ancestors. But this history must be kept in mind when talking about places like Haiti and the Dominican Republic, where (it is my understanding) the entire indigenous population was wiped out after Columbus arrived. The citizens of that island today are the descendants of the African slaves the Spanish brought to work after the indigenous people were worked to death. These people are now considered “Hispanic” (the Dominicans at least) like me, but Sammy Sosa and I aren’t the same race anymore than me and Barack Obama are. They are Black and, just like Blacks in America, they are the descendants of Africans and it doesn’t matter what language they speak. (Notice I say Black, not AfricanAmerican. I think honest people know that most people who use the term “African-American” are closet racists. I had a customer at work refer to a “difficult woman of African-American persuasion” and all I could see was the word “nigger” in his eyes.) If Black people anywhere else aren’t the same “race” as me, then neither are the Black people in Cuba, Puerto Rico, Brazil, Colombia or even Mexico.

Well, that’s one end of the pigment spectrum. If we go the other way, you can go throughout Latin America (especially on TV and in the movies) and find blonde-haired, blue-eyed (or the less extreme sandy- haired and hazeleyed) people who, it is fair to say, enjoy the privileges of their complexion (see, Mexico is just as racist as America). Now, recognize the love I have for the white in me, in my daughter, and in my friends and family when I say they are gringos. Gringos like Bush and Strom Thurmond.

White like Klansmen. There’s a bunch of ‘Hollywood Hispanics’ running around with last names ending in ’Z’ who think it entitles them to shout out their Raza and talk about overcoming ’obstacles.’ They’re no more “down with the brown,” than they are talented. As much as some Mexicans run around wanting to convince White America that they’re no different from them, congratulations: you‘re not. (I actually saw some historian on PBS talking about the ‘special’ place Mexicans held depending on where they lived back in the day. In some states and regions, we were considered ‘White,’ and this is something to aspire to? She wants us to run around saying “accept us like you used to, at least we’re not Black!!” I can’t stand these rotten f***ers who think that the way for us to come up is to put each other down.

We’ll never get anywhere unless we get there together.)

Well, without trying to dissect every group and region of “Latin America,” let’s just say that most of everyone else is varying degrees of European and Indian (and Black, depending on the country/region). Mestizos is what we are.

Mutts, half-breeds, bi-racial or whatever slur you want to throw our way, it‘s all good. The sad fact is that too many places in Latin America look like an even more disgusting version of what we see as far as concentration of poverty in America among non-whites. The lighter the skin, the better the life; the darker skin, the harder the struggle; and the mixed in between. Calling someone an indio is seen as an insult, whether it be because they stay rooted in traditions passed down from long ago or because they refuse to be caught up in the “get rich or die trying” type of life that ‘Western Civilization’ glamorizes. The Mestizos are told they can have all the things that the upper class has, as long as they give up any attachment they still have left to those ‘dirty Indians.’ This sentiment travels northward, and we get these middleclass, caste-system-loving “Hispanics” who shun everything that makes us different (meaning not White). In “The Coming Revolt of the Guards,” Howard Zinn spoke of economic class in prison terms: “The prisoners of the system (working class) will continue to rebel, as before, in ways that cannot be foreseen… The new fact of our era is the chance that they may be joined by the guards (the middle class, called guards because their role has been to keep the prisoners “in line“)…If we understand that, and act on it, not only will life be more satisfying right off, but our grandchildren, or our great grandchildren, might possibly see a different and marvelous world.” (A People’s History of the United States, p. 655) The racial parallel to this is the constant struggling of the Indians, and the need for Mestizos to say we will never abandon our Indian heritage just so we can be accepted by the Eurocentric society.

My brothers and sisters are the Eskimos and native Canadians, the warriors who fought for their land (in Florida, against Custard, and the AIM) and the proud people who finally got one of their own elected president in Bolivia. My people are the coca growers in the Andes, all the sufferers who vote for Hugo Chavez, and the Zapatistas in Chiapas who took up arms because they’ve known all this s**t since 1492. When you understand the commonality of colonialism, genocide, and gentrification that has happened over the last five hundred years, “Hispanic” is as offensive as telling a little boy he looks just like his bigoted, abusive, rapist of a father. We don’t have the option of ignoring the genetic stamp he put on us, but if we let it define us, we have turned our back on the always loving and caring mother culture who never stopped nurturing us. (I get accused of being divisive when I say that Mexicans and other Indian descendant peoples are different than Boricuas, Cubana/os, etc. Again, I love everybody, and I’m glad to see them getting some representation in American culture. Like the Black people before us, it’s always nice to see the landscape of the country get more non-white voices. It‘s a good step, but does little for the needs of the indigenous to have their voice heard.)

BRING THAT BEAT BACK As I was cementing my thoughts on this topic, I was asked by my employer to fill out a survey based on the new categories of race put out by the EEOC (Equal

Employment Opportunity Commission). On the forms I filled out at my hiring, I had five B.S. choices: Hispanic, White-Not Hispanic, Black-Not Hispanic and Asian or Pacific Islander. I chose Hispanic, because it’s like voting for a Democrat: You pick the one that isn’t completely ridiculous. The new choices were closer to accurate although there was still a separate box for Ethnicity, either Hispanic or Not Hispanic. Ethnicity is one of those words that doesn’t mean a whole lot if you look it up. Basically, it means people who share a common culture, language, religion, etc. or it means you’re a minority within a large society. That could mean damn near anybody, proving once again that Hispanic doesn’t mean anything. Then, on the survey, you chose a race: American Indian/Alaska Native, Asian, Black/African American, Native Hawaiian/Pacific Islander or White. I have no problem with these choices, except the definition of American Indian is slightly confusing. An American Indian is defined as “a person having origins in the original peoples of North and South America and who maintains tribal affiliations or community attachments (emphasis added).” It’s that ‘and’ that bothers me. No one says that to be “White” you need to vacation in Ireland or speak Finnish, or know anything about Europe whatsoever. Why is it a prerequisite that we have to have ‘attachments’ or ‘affiliations?” To be ‘Black,’ does someone have to know what tribe in Africa their ancestors belonged to? No, because that’s some offensive s**t. They’re Black and they know it. We’re Indian, but most of us either don‘t know or don‘t think about it enough for it to matter, that’s the problem.

Many a misguided soul might read about ‘tribal affiliations’ and say “That’s not me.” They don’t realize that the vaguer ‘community attachments’ means everything in our being. If you do anything that got handed down to you from your parents, that’s an ‘attachment.’ Even if it is an unnecessary and offensive caveat, we all qualify just by eating tortillas and worshipping the sun (oh you worship a “Son,” um, this is awkward, uhhh, why don’t we just move on…)

UH, OH YEAH, IT AIN’T OVER MOTHER…..

Two slightly contradictory points have to be made before we finish (hope you’ve been taking notes, it’s all on the test). I try to reconcile them within myself, and that seems to be as far as it can go right now. While the world at large is not ready to deal with race seriously, all we can do is try to come to some sort of inner understanding. And once again, I wish race didn’t matter enough for me to have to write this s***.

First, I sometimes think I’m too hard on the non-Indian half of our genetics. We should never be ashamed of what we are, because it offers us the opportunity to pick and choose attributes of all and come back with a whole greater than the sum of its parts. When it comes to analyzing the culture(s) that we come from, it is first and foremost the Mestizo who can inspect, dissect and respect in a harmoniously scholarly-objective/ lovingly-subjective way (in this case I will extend Mestizo love to include not just Indian/ European mixtures but everybody who was created like a DJ blend.

For those not sure what I mean, search out Z-Trip and DJ P’s “Uneasy Listening Vol. 1” and imagine Rosario Dawson as “The Girl From Ipanema” meets “Planet Rock”). Not to cement Oliver Wang’s declaration in stone (because he does start his book Can‘t Stop Won‘t Stop, with the declaration that “Generations are fictions.”) but since we are the “Hip Hop Generation,” we can and should take the best of best, piece it together with our own style, and come up with something greater than the previous generations ever dreamed of. We don’t have to just limit this to our music, movies, and other arts; but also apply it to our politics, our philosophies, and our cultural/racial identity. In the fine tradition of appropriating language (“not bad meaning bad/but bad meaning good“), my boy Corey has said that, in his mind, “Latina” just means sexy. As long as we see the clear distinction between that and the reality of racial identity, I see no problem with it. That being said, “Hispanic” has been purposely weighted down with the baggage of assimilation. There is no saving this word from the slow and painful death it so rightly deserves.

So, why am I whining about race anyway (says the drunk, self-righteous hecklers from the right-wing gallery)? As much as I agree with Fred Hampton’s assertion that “racism is just an excuse for capitalism,” I think an important analogy has to be drawn.

We all can probably agree that too often we treat symptoms and not diseases. In this case, however, I believe it’s not quite that simple. It’s more like a child who, for some reason, has the desire to drink poison. Yes, we must get him to stop drinking poison so he can live a long and healthy life, but he’s already drank quite a lot (five hundred years worth) and his body isn’t going to magically dispose of it. Racism has not been cured in this country (not even close) and if you think it has, you have been duped (or are completely full of…). The power structure of this country has allowed "minorities" to become a part of the system without changing very much about how that system operates. This is why Obama’s candidacy is inadequate proof that racism is fading away. The only real hope is that every succeeding generation becomes more and more intermingled (in school, at work, in marriage) and forgets all the prejudices that their parents passed down to them, inadvertently or not. Politicians will continue to see all matters of race as constituencies and wedge issues. They will never be a part of the solution, especially when they’ve never been exposed to the ideas expressed in these 2,500 words. The next time one of these politicians comes around courting the “Hispanic” vote, tell them you’ll be glad to rally support for them. All they have to do is make sure “Columbus Day” gets renamed “In Memory of a Genocide Day.” Just try not to take it personal when they shake your hand, smile, and walk away scratching their head.

Xicano/Scandinavian 073

That’s Mine I Want It !! by

AcidBurn

Have you ever felt like you were stripped of something that rightfully should have been yours? It always reminds me of George Costanza on Seinfeld. In the episode, George wants his nickname to become ‘T-Bone.’ In his attempt to create the name, someone else in the room inadvertently stole the name. He spent the rest of the episode trying to get it back. Of course his attempts fail because one, he’s George, and two it’s life.

If there’s something that you really want, how are you going to get it?? Well, you have to figure out how to get it. I get sick and tired of people complaining that they don’t have what they want when they exert no effort to get it. They think they just deserve it and that they’re the only one that has ever thought of it. They think that they can somehow manipulate the situation to get what they want without any effort. You can’t do that! You have to at least try to achieve something before you can get it. If it was meant to be yours, it can be, if it wasn’t meant to be, it won’t be yours; no matter how much you try. All I can say is to not be too disappointed and get on with your life.

[I came up with this recipe when I was thinking of my kids] 1-1½ lbs hamburger 1 small can diced tomatoes with juice 1 can tomato sauce 1 small onion diced 4-6 potatoes (1 inch dice, boil ‘til soft) Garlic powder OR Fresh chopped garlic (2-3 cloves) Salt & Pepper to taste Brown hamburger and onions; drain.

Add garlic and the rest of the ingredients, cook on medium heat til boiling.

Simmer on low 10-15 minutes.

Serve Hot! Suggestions: You can add a cup of peas, corn, green beans.

Try your favorite; experiment it’s so much fun.

BACK TO THE FUTURE TRILOGY – This classic trilogy is timeless. Everyone, young & old alike, no one can say they don’t love these flicks. If they don’t own it already, they need it. If for some reason they don’t dig this excellent gift, then they can just make like a tree and get outta here.

Find it at www.empire.com for $27.98 NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET COMPLETE SET – One of the best horror movie series of all time. Wes Craven & Robert Englund did an excellent job of getting into your head and messing with your mind. When you purchase the entire collection and line the DVDs or videos up, Freddie’s hands stretch out across the videos… very cool. “1…2…Freddie’s comin’ for you.”

Find at www.dvdempire.com starting as low as $44.47 N.W.A. LEGACY VIDEO COLLECTION (2002)– This awesome collection includes some great videos from N.W.A. as well as Ice Cube, Eazy-E, Dr. Dre, and even Snoop. One disc- 11 tracks. This is a must in any collection. www.CDuniverse.com find it for $14.99

CDs are also an excellent Choice if you choose wisely.

BOB SEGER BOX SET – Do I really need to explain this one…

It’s Bob Seger…‘nough said.

A tragic thing has been brought to my attention…There is NO Bob Seger box set or at least not one I can find in existence. If anyone out there has found such an item, please let me know where to get mine.

Board games are always a great way to go for Christmas because everyone tends to get some enjoyment. Also, the holidays are about spending time together, so getting a gift for someone that they can enjoy with their whole family is never a bad way to go.

MONOPOLY – An excellent classic, one of the great things about this game is not only is it a timeless game itself but to keep things interesting Parker Bros. have made so many versions…UT Monopoly(other colleges available), Biblopoly, Star Wars Monopoly, Pirates of the Caribbean Monopoly, Shrekopoly (many other Disney Monopolies as well), Packers Monopoly (all NFL available), NBA, MLB, and many, many more. The list goes on; whoever you are, there’s a monopoly for you. www.Monopshop.com is a great place to look for your monopoly needs.

Many games ranging from $3.99-$200.00.

CANDYLAND – A children’s classic, probably the greatest children’s game of all time. Ages 3 & up…all kids love this game and it gets them to play together at a young age. www.hasbro.com – you can find it for $8.99 You can also find it at your local Target or Toys ‘R’ Us YAHTZEE – This is another great classic. Yahtzee comes in several versions; the original version for adults and Disney variations for children. Everyone will enjoy a great game of Yahtzee.

Check your local Target or Toys ‘R’ Us You can find from $8.99-24.99 Prices may vary.

What is the deal lately with the minivan? The minivan is by far the biggest goober mobile ever built, yet for some reason so many people want one. I have sat back and watched my uncle get one and not only did he buy a new minivan, but then this dude called me up only to brag about his new toy. Dude, are you frickin’ kidding me? What the hell are you bragging about? It’s a minivan, you’ve got no bragging rights. Many will brag about their new ride but this is not a new ride; it is merely the means of transportation for the typical soccer moms of America. A close friend of mine has also found his way into a brand new minivan. I am baffled by the idea that these people are climbing into their minivan each day and feel good about it. You should be ashamed of yourselves. ‘Soccer moms’ acquire these vehicles in an effort to be efficient for the sake of their children and try to be the best mom they can be by helping not only their own children but their children’s friends as well. Soccer Moms of America, I want you to understand that I have the utmost respect for you, and this is in no way an attack on you as you women are totally excellent and in some ways model parents for other mothers to aspire to be…well I’m getting a little carried away; Soccer moms…I love ya…’nough said, let’s move on…oh yeah back to the minivan and my people, Come On guys do I really need to explain anymore?

Well, I have done all I can for today, next step….

INTERVENTION. 52

Get a Crash Course with Crash ‌& Burn Calling all of you out there having problems in your relationships, Burn and I have been together for going on 7 years now and things are going great. We also work together running our own business and are doing quit well. Although it is not normally a good idea to work with your better half, sometimes it just takes the right person. We are thoroughly excited to be able to share the secrets to our success with any of you out there. There are many keys to keeping a successful relationship. Don’t hesitate to ask any question because no matter how small you think the issue may be; it is normally the small issues that create the largest problems. Let us guide you to the answer you seek.

Crash

Cnb publishing cnbinc@gmail.com

Attn: Crash Course P.O. Box 14347 Austin, TX 78761

Forever Nikki: Problem #1

By Crash Override

On the way to work, I was pulled over for an expired inspection sticker. Of course the officer asked me clearly, why I hadn’t gotten my car inspected. I simply responded back that if he just looked at my car that it couldn’t pass an inspection. He informed me that he knew it would pass and for me to just take it in.

Keep in mind that my drivers’ side headlight was barely hanging on and has been taped and tied down to keep it from coming loose. I went to Groovy Automotive to get it inspected. When I stepped out of my car and mentioned an inspection, 4 mechanics began to laugh. The one guy informed me that it was illegal for him to tell me that it wouldn’t pass an inspection, but he could run the test to let me know all the things that would fail. Apparently you can not pass an inspection with your car taped together…Who would’ve 55 guessed? Obviously not the officer who pulled me over.

Genome……… Known! by

AcidBurn

One of the great accomplishments achieved this century in the world of medical technology began last century as part of an anticipated 15-year project that was intended to change the way we study and treat human disease. In October 1990, the U.S. Human Genome Project was officially underway with the sponsorship of the Department of Energy’s Human Genome Program and the National Institutes of Health (NIH). A great promoter of the Project was none other than James D. Watson, the co-discoverer of the genome’s fundamental composition, DNA. [If you don’t know the name, look it up. He’ll blow your mind!]

So, what’s a genome? The Human Genome is the genetic information that makes each person an individual and makes each person a human and not a tree. All of this information is encoded in your/his/her DNA through multiple combinations of four unique components. The special order of these four components can be read and translated into every necessary piece of the human body. The same four components are universal to all living things and the combinations and differing amounts make a species unique.

The four unique components pair up to create certain sequences that individually can be translated into different necessary functions in the body. Each small sequence is what is known as a gene and each gene is named for the function for which the sequence decodes. The goal was to identify all genes in the Human Genome and the corresponding sequences; the number of genes was expected to exceed 20 thousand.

In the process, the entire sequence of the 3 billion chemical base pairs would be determined. Of course, each person is slightly different from the next and that’s what makes us different, but the majority of the sequence is the same and that was the information being recorded. The Project was set to conclude in 15 years but the massive numbers of researchers involved allowed it to be completed in record time. By June 2000, the first draft was published; in 2003 a high-quality, finished sequence was produced. Although the original goal was reached, research projects have continued to come out of this new information.

What does this really mean for the future? Scientists are developing ways to interpret the way the end products of genes are regulated within the genome.

They are also developing ways to predict gene functions based on sequence alone. The more that is understood by medical research, the quicker that new treatments can be developed. The existence of certain genetic variations can correlate to problems with health or disease. That means that you can know your risk of disease based on your genetic information without first presenting a disease. *For more information, please visit the U.S. Dept. of Energy Office of Science at genomics.energy.gov

Just My Flavor

By Crash Override This page has been dedicated to letting you in on some of my personal style, the things I wear, drink, and enjoy on a daily basis. I hope you can enjoy them as much as I do.

Fragrance of the Month Burberry Brit cologne This is a sexy cologne with a strong masculine smell with a subtle musk undertone and just a hint of sweetness that lingers. You wear this when you dress to impress...works every time. Ohhhh Yeah.

Price: $68 (3.3 oz bottle) Available at Dillards & many other men’s fragrance counters

We all deserve a drink Stoli Vanil Vanilla flavored Russian Vodka by Stolichnaya is excellent bottle to keep on the shelf.

Personally any bottle by Stoli is an excellent choice, but Stoli Vanil is great because the ladies tend to enjoy the delicious vanilla flavor and no man feels like he is drinking a chick drink when he opens a bottle of Stoli. An added bonus is it is not too pricy.

Price: $27.99 (750ml bottle) Available at most liquor stores

Fly Kicks Hugo Boss Remy Oxford Dress like a pimp...Get you some Hugo’s and the ladies will drop at your feet. They’re Sexy and comfy...need I say more.

Price: $195 Available at www.like.com

Fat Jams Alice Cooper: Trash (CD) This album is insane. It is back to back to back awesome songs. One of the great forgotten albums from the 80s. Bed of Nails, I’m Your Gun, Hell Is Living Without You, Poison, and 6 more excellent songs. If you have never heard this album, you are truly missing out.

Price: $9.98 Available at some record stores

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If you would like to enter the 'She is Choice' competition, please send us a short letter; make sure to include your hobbies, interests, talents, and state why you deserve to be 'She is Choice' along with a few photos of yourself to:

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Start learning your baby’s routine from the beginning! The earlier the better!

I believe babies are born sleeping and eating when they need to. If you think about it they eat mostly every 3-4 hours, this routine starts in the hospital, but it’s also flexible depending on the needs of the baby.

For instance, my oldest had to eat every 1 ½ to 2 hours, but it fit his needs. The main thing is to be flexible which isn’t always easy, but I know keeping things a routine as much possible helped me.

After about a month 9:00 p.m. was the time they were put in our bedroom, and I would go feed them on usual about the same schedule or pretty close. They started getting used to that being quiet time-bedtime. These are just suggestions. You can come up a routine that suits you and your child as they grow. No matter what your schedule is just be as consistent as you can. Sometimes things happen and you can’t help to miss naps or you get off time a little. Just get right back on time and the kids are a lot less grouchy, tired and don’t fuss as much. Always be prepared if you are going to be at an appointment or somewhere they will get antsy, take things to keep them busy. Books, a few little toys etc. I took my kids everywhere I went when they were young (all three just 1-2 ½ years apart) we had fun. And I always got compliments-a routine helps I really believe that.

Look if I can do it so can you! (Believe me!) I hope this helps some of you. Hear more from me and things I tried soon.

Sincerely, The Frosted Flake

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Everyone quiet down and listen up; let me introduce Justin Tranter. Justin is the unique, indescribable vocals from the band Semi Precious Weapons. He has graced the wonderful pages of Choice Magazine and allowed us a rare interview in an effort to get to know the band just a little better. Read on to learn more about the band that you and I both love.

So how did you get started? How did you meet each other?

College. Cole and I were freshman year roommates, and the rest just fell into place.

What really got you into being a musician?

Sinead O'Conner "Nothing Compares To You".

The minute I saw the extreme close ups in that video, I knew what I wanted to do with my life.

Who are some of your biggest influences?

AC/DC, Led Zeplin, Lil' Kim, Hole, and Gwen Stefani.

If someone could compare you to any other artist, who would be the most flattering?

Andy Warhol

What song was probably the most fun to write or perform?

The most fun to write was our namesake "Semi Precious Weapons", because it was the first song we wrote together as a band. The most fun to perform lately is "Her Hair is on Fire" because audiences are just really loosing their minds for it.

Besides your new album "We Love You", what else can you recommend for your

fans to pick up? (books, movies, comics, video games, etc.)

Blacktrack eyeliner by MAC, Flip handheld video camera, and Californication Season 1 DVD.

Who have you been listening to recently?

Fleetwood Mac greatest hits, and Rihanna's "Good Girl Gone Bad Reloaded"

How does it feel getting voted as the Best Band in NYC?

Pretty fucking fabulous.

. . . And what's next?

International super stardom and ICON status. Or at least a really great tour.

And finally, the ladies want to know, are any of you spoken for?

Nopers.

Is there anything else you would like your fans to know about you?

That we love them.

Crash’s pick

Demolition man I think with all the intense issues we have dealt with this election year, we all could use a good laugh. Snipes, Stallone, & Schneider, need I say more. “Illuminate…

Deluminate…Illuminate.”

073’S pick

Burn’s pick

The Battle of Algiers

Resident Evil

Guerilla warfare has never been presented so realistically. Not demonized, not sugar-coated, war as war really is. Starring the people of Algeria as the freedom fighters, and France as the colonial power that just doesn't get it.

Shot beautifully to reflect the full weight of colonial occupation. Word to Frantz Fanon.

While all three movies are thoroughly entertaining and full of action (from hard hitting chicks no less); the original would have to be the best and the most engaging for fans of the video game series and those who’ve never heard of it. The final two were more related to the game and inspired mostly game aficionados, but were also the most inconsistent.

Frosty’s pick

Hairspray (2007 Version) I was a kid during the 60s. This movie is a light way to show some of the real problems then. It’s done with some laughter and is an awesome movie for any age.

I think it’s awesome!

In any business, you have to have a basic goal set for yourself, your employees/co-workers, and the company as a whole. Simply a quota may be all you need to be set, but in many up and coming companies, you need something larger. You need a destination, a place to be in a set time. Many people make the mistake of setting an easily met goal with the idea that if they meet that goal, their employees will have a boost of moral based on their accomplishment. This is lame. First of all, an easily met goal being met is hardly an accomplishment. Second, if you set mediocre goals, then all you can ever hope to be is mediocre. People don’t get in business to be mediocre or ‘sit on the sidelines’ so to speak. You get in the game because you want to win. Well how do you win? Truth be told there are many elements that are involved in this, but it all begins with a thought. So take a moment before you begin your new business venture or before you begin work tomorrow; what is your thought, your idea? Where are you going? Is it all it could be? Are you all you could be? How much are you worth? These are deeper questions than they appear to be, so don’t take them lightly. Really reflect upon these ideas and then reevaluate what you want from your business, rethink how you want it to play out, and set a standard for what is going to happen in the up coming days, months, and years. Don’t settle for an idea because it seems reachable…Think BIG, I mean HUGE. Set a goal that is just out of your reach and then stretch out for that extra inch.

Do you want to just be mediocre or do you want to win?

The Holiday’s are so hectic.

And hardly ever does everyone go to the same place at one time so we can see everyone. There are a few tips that might help.

You don’t have to celebrate on the specific day. Work the days and celebrate when you can be together. I try to stay open because it’s easier for me. The first couple of weeks in November we coordinate Thanksgiving. Whenever the closest time before or after that my family (my kids, their kids) and friends can come, that’s when ours is. That gives them time to be with in-laws or others on the real day. The same for Christmas; we’ve even had Christmas on New Year’s. It’s not the day; it’s the spirit and the love. It doesn’t matter when, just make time to be together.

The holidays are not commercial. I think we get lost in all that. It’s about love, family, being thankful for every day, every minute with our family, friends, and loved ones. And every thing God’s given us. The incredible love and understanding I feel and get everyday from people around me. We are all blessed even at our lowest. We should be thankful everyday. The holidays should make that feeling even stronger.

Enjoy and make your holidays anytime you need to and refresh that love and thankfulness. I hope you all have “Blessed Happy Holidays” from me,

The Frosted Flake And all my little flakes

“Out of sight is out of mi nd

.”

Now even if you have no children of your own, we the chance to play with a have all had baby or at the very least ob se rve them with their parents (our nieces, nephews, or even our fri en d’ s children).

While observing and play in g w ith the se ba bi es , it tends to be common that most will ov erlook some consistent be ha either they interact with vior because few babies or they are m or e ov the baby itself than the ac erwhelmed by tual behavior of the baby .

Th ey have a thought process unlike our own.

It is actually quite intrigu in g if you just stop and pay attention for a mo ment.

Have you noticed how wh en you show a small baby (you know, a toy, keys, a an object bear, or whatever), their re ac tion is inherently similar; many times they will get happy, try to grab the sometimes just laugh. So object, or mething that I am sure m an y of you have overlooked is that when you take the item away, th ey seem to not even notice. (Ahh…wouldn’t it be great if their attitude continued like this as they got older) The fact is that babies, particularly ones under the age of six months, will appear to easily forget about the ite m that was previously in front of the m and just move on to so me thing else.

The truth is that this is no t jus t an ap pe ar an ce ; there is actually a psychological explanation for their somewhat of an ‘easy-going’ attitude. Not until the ch ild is about eight or twel ve months old will he or she be able to realize that the object has been ta ken away, and they may or may not want it ba ck. This is referred to as object permanence.

Object permanence is ha ving awareness of the fa ct that an object cannot just disappear; it has been taken away. Children un der the age of six months cannot compreh end object permanence the refore playing a simple game of peek-a-b oo is generally a bit poin tless when you are dealing with infants (mos t people don’t seem to re alize this but at that age, it is more fun for th e adult than the baby).

So the truth is, for babie s younger than the age of “out of sight” really truly six months old, is “out of mind.”

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Everything i could have ever wanted and oh so much more Right from the start i felt the warmth from her heart I’ve never endured emotions quite like this, such power & intensity Could’ve never envisioned a girl quite this pretty All i yearned for was just one kiss, sadly the rest i’ld have to miss Love would have to wait, the future i couldn’t anticipate Only time will tell, living without her has become my hell Penetrating my soul, images of her without me Every moment felt surreal…it just could not be Zealously i would pursue the one i longed for I refused to let her slip away and walk out the door Lust & Love, Pleasure & Pain, all these things seem to me, the same Overconfident, i’d refuse to lose her, my stubbornness & ignorance, she would endure Velvet was her touch, oh God, i’ve never felt so much Erica, you being the one i desired You touch me, leaving me inspired Once again, hoping our love you would not revoke Uneager, ‘can i keep you’ is all i spoke my love i remember these days as though they were only yesterday a time of innocence passion and uncertainty i love you more every moment that goes by what i wouldnt do for you dont let me lie there are no boundaries to this love of ours it surpasses the skies the heavens and the stars this love grows every moment im with you without you i hardly know what to do things smell better taste sweeter and appear more beautiful just in your presence sometimes its overwhelming and maybe too intense after all this time i still find it hard to believe that day in that moment that you did not leave.

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__a series of observations and

by AcidBurn

suggestions made by me as a victim and defender of a capitalistic way of life.

I think it is wrong that people have to work so hard to get what they need. Many people think that this is unfair and I agree. I hate watching others go without because they can’t afford the necessities.

I myself have been a victim. On the other hand, I also believe that if I work my tail off to get somewhere in life, then the person next to me who doesn’t work as hard should not get the same benefits.

Capitalism, by definition, is an economic system in which property ownership and the exchange of wealth are not controlled by the state; or government. Rather, they are maintained and operated

privately by either an individual or a corporation. Yes, this allows the freedom for people to create a system in which they control their production, distribution, and development based on profits

accumulated and the overall market economy. The people are able to control the capital, and

therefore, when and where they are being invested. However, no one individual is entitled to this opportunity. You have the right to trade money for goods, services, labor and land, but you have to

find your own way to earn an income. The so called ‘free market’ is not without its price.

So this begs the question why? If someone is lucky enough or has a marketable gift, should they be wealthier than someone whose expertise is not marketable? How can someone who is very capable of managing their money not as well off as the one who can’t control and freely spends?

I don’t like the way capitalism treats its people. People have to catch a break in one way or another.

Either, you have to be born wealthy and be taught how to manage your money. Or, you have to get a break with earning in an education or having a job fall into your lap. That’s just not a good enough plan to count on.

Mere luck or happenstance controls some things, but mostly, hard work is rewarded. This is normally

an incentive to accomplish good work, but it sometimes needs to be instilled in people at a young age. I was raised to believe that nothing comes easy. You have to work smart so you don’t have to work hard.

That is the way more people should be raised. If you were raised to believe that you have to work smart so life would be easier, then maybe more people would have the desire to become educated.

More parents today need to teach their kids to earn money, save money, and give money. Too many

people end up resenting people with money instead of looking up to them. If they merely inherited it or were given the money, then they didn't really earn it, but for anyone else who earned it, they should be admired. Not just once they became rich, but for every step that they made along the way. Money

WILL NOT fall into your laps. You know early on in life whether there is money in the family, and you will learn just how hard it is going to be to put yourself in the position to earn a fabulous living.

Everyone has the potential, the difference lies in when you can come to this realization. The earlier it happens, the easier it can be.

So, Know your role…

Who knows how business works? Not many. Who thinks they know how the business they work for really works? Probably a lot. Do they need to know? I don’t believe so.

You need to trust in your government, trust in your CEO/Owner/President, if you can. The fact is, they are really ultimately out for themselves, but you are necessary for their plans to work…they don’t make money without your part. The system’s foundation is that every part is critical to the success of a whole company; of the whole economy.

The system gives you/him/her the freedom to conduct business how you like, the freedom to make

as much money as you want (lots or none), and the freedom to not partake if you choose. If you don’t want to work physical labor, for example, no one will make you…the government is not your parent; let

me say that again, the government is not your parent. They are not here to make you do things…they can’t bail you out…their job is to PROTECT you from being taken advantage of; and keeping you from losing your rights. They can’t complete tasks for you.

They even have a system set up so if you are unable to work, they (the government) will still provide for you because the system is IDEAL for those with a skill/ability/agility. There’s even

‘temporary help’ for those who are in between jobs…how awesome. They’ve provided so many opportunities to succeed.

The reason this is not as apparent to most, especially those who are struggling, is because too many people are taking advantage of the generosity of the government…and…and… and not contributing anything but wasted space…what do you do with things that are a waste of space??

But…elimination is not and cannot be the solution…( Just to reiterate my point…) the answer begins at home and with our children. Did you know that not every state mandates economic or financial education in school? No wonder so many people have no idea how the government functions financially. Lots of kids would like to learn more about money.

I have been raised in the intricate capitalistic system of the United States and am grateful to be here. But, I hate that the nation we live in, though land of the free,

is ultimately governed by the almighty dollar. I have not always been wealthy but I want to be. I feel that I

deserve to be. Now granted, it is the only system I

know and have come to build my life in its teachings.

All I know is this system, so I’m going to make the best of it. If you are raised in this system, and hope for

success, the best way to do that is with this system…

Junior Writers

Princess Age: 9

Fonkey Monkey Age: 8

Little ‘G’ Made from Sugar & Spice Aspiring 4 Greatness

An Inquisitive Daddy's Girl Droppin' Knowledge Like No Other

We have harnessed the creativity and imagination of the young mind and brought it to you with Our Junior Writers.

Our Junior Writers Division captures an untapped resource; a child’s perspective.

Children are far more intelligent than most give them credit for. We want to encourage these young children to expand their minds while allowing them to open ours. Children are young & innocent with a pure heart & mind. They look at things in such a way that our clouded minds cannot even fathom. Take a moment to read from our Junior Writers Division to give you some insight and points of view you would otherwise never be privy to. These writers, just like the other writers on my team, have been hand chosen based on their creativity, highly opinionated nature, and their raw talent.

They will offer their observations, personal experiences, and original, out-of-this-world creative writing.

My mom told me that I had to go to school. I thought it was a saturday. Never try to convince your parents that it is a weekend. ______________________________________

Why?

*It is great. *You should not miss it. *You learn important things.

Enjoy, Crash

My best friend came to my house and me and her made a big mess. My mom came in and told us to clean. I said no and so did my friend. It got messier and messier and messier.

It was a disaster.

Hi my name is Mariah and I visit my DaD. My DaD’s name is Corey. I only get to see him every other weekend and every Wednesday. The food is good here. My DaD is crazy. But I love him anyway.

No Guns

Mo Guns

No War

Mo War

For Rich

For Rich

For Poor

For Poor

1 1 1

0 0 0

I don’t wanna grow up This is the one section written for kids by kids Take a moment and view our Junior Writers Division and see just what children are capable of with the right motivation. We have an exclusive section in which our Junior Writers get their stories and opinions out there in the public.

If you would like to see your child’s art work or stories published, please feel free to send them in and they just might appear in an upcoming issue.

CNB Publishing Attn: I don’t wanna grow up P.O. Box 14347 Austin, TX 78761

Picture contributed by Worm Carnevale‌.You will find more of his work in this issue

Ladies, Ladies, Ladies...This is your chance to show off what you’ve got.

We are looking for a Choice Girl in this competition...A girl who has it all; brains, beauty, and so much more. If you think you have what it takes and you would like to enter the 'She is Choice' competition, please send us a short letter; make sure to include your hobbies, interests, talents, and state why you deserve to be 'She is Choice' along with a few photos of yourself to:

Crash & Burn’s Official

Hot List Now there are many magazines that have Hot & Not lists, but this one is different. Just so you know, we focus on the HOT and not so much on the not. All else is left up to your own sentiment.

Everyday in America, we glorify people for their beauty but sometimes people are over looked or just not given enough credit.

Twin Peaks – This is one of the hottest damn restaurants you will ever go to. Right above the bar is a keg embedded in the wall with a thermostat on the side that reads 37°...the exact temp of the beers on tap and they’ve got a wide variety. One of these delicious brews will be brought to you in a tall frosty glass while you are watching one of their many huge flat panel screens by a beautiful girl wearing a pair of rolled up khaki shorts and a flannel shirt tied together in the front to show off all they’ve got. It doesn’t get any better than this. Words can’t possibly do it justice.

Tim Roth – Tim Roth...Tim Roth...It’s far too sad that many do not know his name

and if they do it is for Hulk...Are you kidding me? He has done it all; he writes, directs, acts...There isn’t much he can’t do. He is frickin’ awesome not to mention he is a hot guy.

There is no question that he is one of the hottest underrated people in Hollywood in every sense of the word. Look him up and see a flick you haven’t seen (other than Reservior Dogs or Hulk).

Marilyn Manson – Singer?...Writer?...Artist?...Genius!

Marilyn Manson is one of the most brilliant artists of our generation. The man is revolutionary. He sets trends, invents styles, and totally makes everything his own. This is a man that has done cover songs in such a new way that hearing the song itself was a whole new experience in which you could get lost in the music and forget that it was even a cover...in that moment, it was his. The things he has put together on and off the stage are just completely mind-boggling.

Much love to Manson for his innovative creativity, utter originality, his style and sex appeal...Yes, I said sex appeal; he is Hot. If you have never appreciated him because of who you think he is, take a moment to look past all that and see him for the artist he is.

Hilary Duff – Hilary Duff is Hot on so many levels. She is totally awesome. Hilary is an inspiration and a role model for young girls everywhere. She is a perfect example of a beautiful young girl that has made it successful in today’s modern, shallow society without degrading herself or using her body to get where she’s at...She has been successful as an 84

GAS PRICES

Picture Submitted by Crash & Burn

We need gas...or at least we do if we want to drive. I am so sick of all you people out there complaining about gas prices...SHUT UP! Look, you have choices...you can carpool which most of you complainers out there don’t do...You Suck. You can ride a bike, take a bus, take a cab like New Yorkers...OR you can fill your tank and drive...None of these options involve you people crying like a bunch of little babies. Give me a break. I remember a few years ago, people kept on saying that the gas prices would get to over $5 and never come down again. I just saw the price for gas at $1.86. I think I’ve heard enough from you people.

UNGRATEFUL FAMILY MEMBERS There are far too many people I know that are so quick to just dump on their family. They betray the ones they love and more importantly...the ones that love them. How the hell do you people just disown your family? Oddly enough, most of the time it is young people disowning people they more or less need in their life...This is just plain stupidity. But when adults do it...well they’re stupid too, just on a whole new much greater level. You all need to get over yourselves already… None of us are perfect. The sooner you can all accept that, the sooner you will stop missing out on things you will never get back. Stop Sucking Already! I’m done with you people.

WATER NO GET ENEMY

(You No Fight Him Unless You Wan’ Die)

-- Fela Kuti

Just now, yesterday, not too far off, it will come to pass, that once long ago, it will be told, that it was once said, a young man was wandering through the forest getting lost among the leaves. He was hungry and exhausted when he emerged from the brush to find himself at the banks of the Great River. He collapsed to his knees and hung his head over the edge, staring at the clear flowing waters as they passed over the schools of fish and teasingly sent mist up at his dirty and sweaty face. He reached a cupped hand down towards the water, but could only get close enough to feel the occasional wave splash off a rock and caress his knuckles. He stared at the water with temptation that he hadn’t let come over him for many years. Just then the Great River began to speak: Aren’t you tired and thirsty my weary wanderer No need to think and be an idle ponderer Just come on in and soothe your parched throat The flow’s calm, you won’t drown, just float All you have to do is jump on in And get the dirt off your sun-baked skin You look familiar, Do I know you?

No matter, needy strangers are welcome too The man jumped up with defiance in his eyes. “If I wanted what you had to offer I would have accepted long ago. Don’t tempt me with easy access and a friendly voice.

I know your inhabitants are yours forever, believing your kind words at their own peril. Your banks are too high and once I got in, it would be almost impossible to remove myself from you and get back to the freedom of my beautiful forest. Not a day goes by that I forget of your existence. That is all the reminder I need. Now silence yourself and leave me in peace.” He reached into his tattered and weatherworn sack and began to eat the berries which it contained. He ate them slowly and appreciatively, for they were the last remnants of food he had seen for many days.

I see you chewing slow, so I just thought I’d add All the plentiful, edible plants to be had On my banks, all flavors, all year round There’s some ripe ones right here, just look down Plus I know you saw the plethora of fish They jump right into your hand, like you made a wish Why do you search so hard, the answer’s right here I’m your friend, from me, there’s nothing to fear “I like to search for my own berries Great River. It gives me a sense of accomplishment that living within your waters could never give me.” Just then the river made a noise that could only be interpreted as laughter. It’s right, the man thought. There was no truth in what he had said. “The price is too high to feast off of what you have to offer. Plus, I like to hunt the animals of the forest and cook the meat they provide. Save your raw fish for the slaves you’ve snared.” As if on cue, a couple and their three children swam past on the opposite side of the river.

They laughed and sang as they enjoyed the River’s warm water. The man watched them fade into the distance before the Great River resumed his pitch.

Slaves you say? You’re quite mistaken Do they look like ones whose freedom’s been taken?

You’ve got an odd definition of servitude In fact I think, they’d think you quite rude Are you such a loner, that you would shun Nourishment, refreshment to counter the sun And the company of many new neighbors Don’t think I don’t know I’m doing you a favor Out there the water is unbelievably scarce Save it all for drinking, not washing what you wear Your smell is quite strong, I must honestly say Must make it difficult to sneak up on your prey Least of all an object of your affection Your smells repel, need I really mention May think you desirable enough to cohabitate ‘Til they get a whiff, and leave for another mate A warm glow cast up from below on the bank, and the man fought as hard as he could to not look down. He already knew what was there, and sure enough, there she was. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen, picking the fruits alluded to earlier, and smiling up at him. She said nothing, just smiled, but it was a smile of pure sunlight. It washed over the man and promised to take all his problems away.

The joy and caring in her face wrapped around him and hugged him warmly until tears formed in the corners of his eyes. He felt himself being beaten.

What are you really losing? Hands that’s rougher?

Layers of dirt? The great freedom to suffer?

How childish, grow up and join the crowd Accept the norm, quit being proud You’ll never want again, I have it all No longer shunned, you can stand tall Peace and prosperity are right here, brother Live life with me just like all the other This last line broke the man’s mental gaze at his heart’s desire and a faint smile snuck onto his mouth. He never stopped looking at her, but more or less addressed the Great River. “Just like the others, huh? That’s where you got me all wrong, River.

Everyone is so happy and content, not a care in the world? Well, that could never be me. There’d be no point in even trying. I’d never be able to live with the justifications I would have to make to myself every single day for why I had made this decision. The torment of this irreversible decision would force me to become ostracized all over again. So I’ll take my chances with the struggle of my chosen life. I’ll find contentment on my own terms.”

The man gathered his stuff together and set back out into the forest in search of water, food, shelter, and companionship. He traveled as far from the Great River as he could, but the further he got, the scarcer everything became. Time passed, on and on, until one day became the next became hundreds in the blink of an eye. He could no longer remember exactly why he was walking, but he was going to break down, he could feel it. His proud moment of conviction now seemed nothing but a distant memory. “It’s just not worth it anymore,” he said to himself. He had just made the decision to turn back towards the River, when a white-bearded monk started to pass him going the opposite direction.

“You’re going the wrong way, young man.”

The man grabbed the monk‘s shoulder to keep him from passing and inquired, “Excuse me sir, but how do you know that?”

“I know the look of one who is begrudgingly going to the Great River. That is all that is behind me. Where you should be going is that way,” said the monk, lifting his face towards the direction that the man had been heading until recently.

The man protested: “I’ve been heading that way for as long as I can remember.

I’ve found nothing so far. What makes you think there’s something to be found beyond this spot?”

“I don’t know, but it has to River. You know what I mean or I begin with.” The monk started to direction of the River. He began

be better than giving up and giving in to the would not have found you this far away from it to move on when the man collapsed to his knees in the to speak, causing the monk to turn around.

“I know you are right. They are the same words I would tell myself for weeks on end before hunger and thirst and loneliness beat down my convictions. They are no longer enough to keep me going. I’m at the point where I’ve no more use for the right questions, now I need answers. Where do you start when everything is wrong?”

The monk waited patiently for the man to stand and face him. Once he had, he smiled softly and said “Everywhere.” He continued smiling, turned, and walked out into the great unknown. The man watched him until he disappeared, then sat on the ground to contemplate the monk’s answer. He sat for a long time, until his legs became numb and sleep came to close his eyes. He dreamt of many things. He dreamt of fresh fruit. He dreamt of infinitely flowing water. He dreamt of the woman in the Great River. In the background of all of these scenes was the mountain, looming large and drawing his inner eye’s attention. That was the answer.

He awoke with a renewed sense of purpose and began his trek towards the mountain. He climbed and climbed until he’d reached near the peak where the Great River began its flow. He went to the opposite side of the mountain and began to create a new path for the water to flow through. It was slow going at first, for he had only sharp rocks and was working alone. This went on for many years, but over time others joined him. The workload was massive, but their passion was infinite.

Though they knew they’d probably never see the new river created by their efforts, they knew their children would continue the work; and their children and their children and their children and their children and…..

the Blood is Thicker than Water Glass is Half-Full.

Look on the bright side, it could always be worse. by

AcidBurn

No family is perfect, so mine is no exception. However, I treat them as such. I believe that family love should be unconditional…period. The way that I think of the real love between family members is so indescribable that it is unspoken most of the time. Even without a lot of hugs, kisses, or utterances of ‘I love you;’ real family love is just understood. I always think the best of them and their decisions.

They make their mistakes, everyone does, but in my mind, they are justified; that if I was in their shoes, who says I wouldn’t have done the same thing? Along the same lines, I’ve noticed that by being of the same blood, you realize things about each other that they may not realize. This gives you the opportunity to learn from other’s mistakes, even from their accomplishments; whether it be regarding higher education, children, marriage, whatever it may be. What’s good for one is not always good for all.

So what can you do to make your family better? Every family has got them.

The Black Sheep: although they may be different in a lot of ways, there’s something that you will have in common with them and can bring you together. The Moocher: they always expect to get bailed out, but in order to help them, you have to put your foot down. The rule to live by is simple, regardless of the family member; anything lent to family should be considered a loss because if you can’t afford to lose it forever, then you can’t afford to lend it. The Schemer: whether they try to bring you in on it, or they are just perpetually getting into harebrain schemes, there comes a time when you have to foil their plans in order to help them. The list could go on…

Under no circumstances should you turn your back on family…they’re all you got, forever.

Marriages should be forever, but in reality they are not; blood is forever. No one can speak badly about them without indirectly speaking badly about ME. I have no choice but to defend them in order to defend myself. They are in fact an extension of me and therefore affect my own pride and satisfaction.

CNB Publishing Attn: Trilogy War P.O. Box 14347 Austin, TX 78761

Picture submitted by Worm Carnevale. Learn more about Worm in this issue.

www.myspace.com/cnbpublishing cnbinc@gmail.com

I try to forget her but I can’t I want to touch her but I can’t I want to love her but I can’t I want to trust her but I can’t Such a disaster Such a disaster I want her to remember me but she can’t I want her to touch me but she can’t I want her to love me but she can’t I want her to trust me but she can’t Its such a disaster Such a tragedy But I always feel But I always love her and only her

PATHETIC RAMBLINGS OF A LOSER WHO’LL BE YOUR HERO SOMEDAY

Competitive Rates Airfare, Hotel, Rental Car, & More

I’m a B-Boy without the linoleum to get fresh I’m a stoner for life who can pass a drug test I’m an old ass man still young in my years Look at the joy in my eyes through layers of tears I boycott Wal-Mart but a club card from Sam’s I’m a low-ride-er who drives a minivan Son of a Teamster and I pay my dues Tryin’ to find some fly non-sweat shop shoes I’m working class intellectual who studies the poli-tricks Between checkin’ curvy chicks and old kung fu flicks Raisin’ a Black Diaper Baby who can think for self Successful influential and shuns monetary wealth I don’t judge but I’m sick of not calling people fake Liberal guilt keeps me shamed I give - unable to take I hate pretentious drivel but it’s mostly what I write If I could change the past I wouldn’t I‘m (a liar) alright Waiting for a woman to save me or one to save And for smiles my principles occasionally a fair trade I would believe in God but she don’t believe in me Skeptical of my potential who am I to disagree I’m a great hypocrite a contrary contradiction Screaming “I have the truth” to anyone who’ll listen

This small framed lady, hair soft as a baby’s, and heart bigger than anyone I’ve known is my Great Grandmother. One of the few I felt real family love and kindness from. Nanny Booze was full Indian; 2 different tribes. Even when she raised her voice you could still hear the love. We went to Three Rivers, Texas almost every weekend (we lived in Corpus Christi, Texas growing up) because we had relatives there. Everyone stayed at my Great Aunt and Uncles but sometimes I got to stay with Nanny Booze by myself. She taught me about cooking, gardening, Jesus, and anything I wanted to talk about. Of course I was only about 5 till nine years old. Then she became sick. She came to live with us and I gave her my bed. She took care of us when my Grandparents worked; she cooked, cleaned, played with us, hung laundry on the line, whatever needed to be done. When we acted up, as she called it, we got switched on our calves, but never overboard. She was the one that first told me I wasn’t bad. To everyone else I was the “problem child.” I remember so many times her defending me and my Grandma, her daughter, would get so mad at her. It made me so sad. She always tried to protect me and was understanding and honest when things were unfair. She moved back to Three Rivers for a while. When I was with her she taught me old-fashioned wonderful things like going to the neighbors’ to get fresh milk from the cows, fresh butter I helped to churn. We traded vegetables for eggs from another neighbor’s chickens, and our vegetables came from her garden.

My strong belief in God came from the seeds she planted and watered them every time I was with her. The tender spirit she had lives in my heart stronger now than ever.

When I was in the second grade she came back to live with us. She was diagnosed with cancer. Even though I didn’t understand it, I found it hard to be away from her. I played by her bed, combed her hair, rubbed her back and legs to help the pain; for 3 years this went on. She would always talk and teach me and never grew impatient with me. She never grew tired of my quest about God, Heaven, or anything.

She was the one that made me believe while I was with her I was important and good. When I was in 4th grade she went in the hospital. I never got to see her again.

The cancer spread everywhere in her body; she fought 3 months and then quietly passed.

I’ll never forget our times; she was a very strong influence in my life and I know she’s watching over me.

I love you my “Nanny Booze” and I think you would be proud of me.

INDEX: Topics: Business: Business 101 ……………………….…..64 But It’s The Only Thing I Know…….…72

Children: Are You Hot Or Not?..............................19 Family Memories on a Shoestring……...34 I Love School…………………..………76 Messy Pessy Room……………………..76 My Trip……………………………...….77 The Cut Man………………………..…..78 The Voting Contest……………………..79

Creative Writing:

Parenting: Babies Makin’ Babies And the World Gone Crazy……………………………..16 Birth Control………………………..…..33 Family Memories on a Shoestring……...34

Poetry: Pathetic Ramblings of a Loser Who’ll be Your Hero Some Day…………………..97 The Fifth of August…………………….71 The Massacre I Left Behind……………14 Untitled (Jason B)………………………96

Politics:

Dear……………………………………...9 The Cut Man…………………………....78 The Fifth of August…………………….71 Water No Get Enemy…………………..88

But It’s The Only Thing I Know…….…72 Life in Shades of Grey……………….…28 Sarah…………………………………....13 The Voting Contest……………………..79 Voting ’08……………………………....99

Education:

Pop Culture:

But It’s The Only Thing I Know……….72 How Do You Turn A Phrase…………...20 I Love School…………………………..76

Gotta Give a Shoutout……………….....36 Interview: SPW…………………...……60 Phat Flicks…………………………..….63 The Truth Is Out There…………………11 Ultimate Trilogy War……….………….24

Family Life: Family Memories on a Shoestring……...34 How Do You Turn A Phrase…………...20 It’s Holidy Time! Or Is It?.......................65 Messy Pessy Room……………………..76 My Trip…………………………………77 Nanny Booze…………………..……….98 The Blood Is Thicker Than Water Glass Is Half Full………………………………...93

Food: Hamburger Stew………………………..48 Mac’ N Cheese………………………....10 Spaghetti Salad…………………………69

Fun: Forever Nikki……………………..…….55 Just My Flavor………………………….57 Sarah……………………..……………..13

Psychology: I Have 10 Senses……………………….23 Mama, Where Did It Go…………….….68

Science: Birth Control…………………………....33 Chemical of the Month………………....27 Genome…Known……………………....56 The Truth Is Out There…………………11

WOW!: A Minivan………………………………52 Crash Course w/ Crash & Burn………...54 She Is Choice…………………………...58 That’s Mine I Want It!……………….…46 What Really Grinds My Gears…………87 Who’s Panic Are You Looking For?.......41

From the pen of…

Acid Burn:

The Frosted Flake:

But It’s The Only Thing I Know……….72 Chemical of the Month………………....27 Genome…Known……………………....56 How Do You Turn A Phrase…………...20 Phat Flicks……………………………...63 The Blood Is Thicker Than Water Glass Is Half Full………………………………...93 That’s Mine I Want It!……………….…46 The Truth Is Out There…………………11

Are You Hot Or Not?..............................19 Family Memories on a Shoestring……...34 Hamburger Stew……………………..…48 It’s Holidy Time! Or Is It?.......................65 Mac’ N Cheese………………………....10 Nanny Booze…………………..……….98 Phat Flicks…………………………..….63 Routine Helps All the Family………..…59 Spaghetti Salad………………………....69

Crash & Burn:

Xicano 073:

Christmas Gift List……………………..49 Crash and Burn’s Official Hot List…….84 Crash Course (Advice Column)……..…54 Interview: SPW………………………...60 Ultimate Trilogy War………………..…24

Babies Makin’ Babies And the World Gone Crazy……………………………..16 Dear……………………………………...9 Life in Shades of Grey……………….…28 Pathetic Ramblings of a Loser Who’ll be Your Hero Some Day…………………..97 Phat Flicks……………………………...63 Water No Get Enemy…………………..88 Who’s Panic Are You Looking For?.......41

Crash Override: A Minivan………………………………52 Birth Control………………………...….33 Business 101 …………………………...64 Forever Nikki………………………..….55 Gotta Give a Shoutout……………….....36 I Have 10 Senses……………………….23 Just My Flavor………………………….57 Mama, Where Did It Go…………….….68 Phat Flicks………………………..…….63 Sarah………………………………..…..13 The Fifth of August…………………….71 Voting ’08……………………………....99 What Really Grinds My Gears………....87

Princess: I Love School……………………..……76 Messy Pessy Room……………………..76 My Trip………………………………....77 Phat Flicks……………………………...80 The Cut Man…………………………....78 The Voting Contest……………………..79

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