Summer 2016
Jackie O School holiday ideas
Christmas gifts
opens up
Lose weight the ‘pleasurable’ way
Placenta encapsulation School checklist
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A #1 us Pa tra Ti ren lia tl t ’s e ing
Team parenting
Summer recipes FROZEN PEACH AND MANGO SPLICE WITH FRESH PASSIONFRUIT
WATERMELON, GRILLED HALOUMI AND HONEY MINT SALAD
PREP: 40 minutes COOK: 10 minutes SERVES: 8-10
PREP: 5 minutes COOK: 5 minutes SERVES: 4
INGREDIENTS Mango Coconut Cream 2 whole mangoes 300mL coconut cream 100mL yoghurt 1/3 cup caster sugar METHOD 1. Remove the mango flesh from the fruit and place into a blender with the remaining ingredients. Line a small loaf tin with baking paper. 2. Puree until smooth (about a minute) and then pour the liquid into a loaf tin, fill to about ½ of the way or a little more. Place into the freezer. 3. After an hour remove from freezer and stir then return to the freezer for another 4 hours or until set. INGREDIENTS Peach Vanilla Ice cream 4 peaches – very ripe 200mL coconut milk 100mL yoghurt 1/3 cup caster sugar 1 vanilla bean, split in half lengthwise 3 fresh passionfruit cut in half, pulp removed with a teaspoon Toasted shredded coconut (optional) METHOD 1. Boil a saucepan of water and drop in the peaches for 4 minutes; strain and set aside to cool. Peel the peaches then cut in half and remove the stone. 2. Add the peach flesh to a blender with the remaining ingredients and blitz until smooth and combined. 3. Chill the mixture thoroughly in the refrigerator. When the mango layer has set, fill the loaf tin to the top with the remaining peach mix and return to the freezer.
INGREDIENTS 200g haloumi (Greek if possible) 1 tbs olive oil Juice of 1 lemon ¼ watermelon, rind removed cut into nice wedges 2 tbs chopped mint Honey to drizzle, room temp is best Cracked pepper METHOD 1. Preheat the grill or hotplate on the BBQ to medium high heat. 2. Cut the haloumi into small rectangles about a finger thick, toss in the oil then place onto the hot BBQ. Cook for 5 minutes in total until golden and crispy on both sides. Squeeze over the lemon juice. 3. Arrange the watermelon across a flat platter and then sprinkle over the chopped mint. Top with the warm haloumi and then drizzle the honey over the top. 4. Finish with cracked black pepper.
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4. Allow the slice to set overnight. 5. When ready to serve, turn the slice out onto a chopping board. Allow the slice to soften a little in the fridge so it’s easier to slice. Use a hot knife to slice into portions then top with fresh passionfruit and toasted coconut.
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Ben O’Donoghue For more recipes, visit iga.com.au/recipe
contents
summer
6
Editor’s Note
8
The Contributors
Fashion 10 TINY URBAN SUN-CHASERS Make your little one the coolest kid on the block with this season’s cutest trends. 12 KISSING THE SUN Let your little lady bloom in this Summer’s most stylish clothes. 14 DAPPER, ROCKING & RIDING THE WAVES Dress your mini man in the hottest trends this Summer. 16 COOL FOR THE SUMMER, FREE YOUR GYPSY SOUL Be the envy of all the mums as you rock your school run look.
FEATURE STORY
10 20
28
20 Oh, Jackie! Jackie O helps us see the raw side of breakfast radio and vulnerable side of being a mother.
FUNNY MUMMY 26 Lunch is on me Ari chats about how our kids’ school lunches are getting a bit too complex.
REAL LIFE 28 Charlotte’s fight Mum of 18-month-old daughter, Charlotte, administers 13 medications a day and fears how lethal the common cold could be.
HEALTH 34 Model mothers What are we teaching our children about their bodies? 38 Breaking (up) Bad Read about one man’s story about the struggles and pain of coparenting.
www.offspringmagazine.com.au
34
50 Internet picks 43 Our selection of websites offering great products for your family
DAD’S WORLD 44 Simple tastes Gary contemplates the changing nature of his family’s diet.
PREGNANCY & BIRTH 46
Placenta Encapsulation Consuming one’s placenta has been praised for its power to ward off postnatal depression, increase energy levels and boost milk supply.
sydney | summer 2016 | Offspring
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PARENTING 50 Countdown to co-parenting Important things you may not think about when you’re expecting and how important sharing parental responsibility is.
SPECIAL FEATURE 53 My Christmas list Struggling for idea for Christmas present? Don’t worry, Offspring has done all the work for you by creating your very own Christmas gift guide.
SPECIAL FEATURE 66 School holiday guide Keep your little ones occupied this summer and avoid the ‘I’m bored’ cries. 72 Festive overload How to minimise sensory overload for your family this Christmas.
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66
74 BOOK REVIEW Discover what books you and your mini me’s should be reading.
EDUCATION 76
A big change Help your child be ‘school ready’ before their first day.
FOOD AND NUTRITION 79 Enjoy summer, in moderation How to enjoy summer and the festive season without over indulging.
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82 directory
ISSUE 24 SUMMER 2016 Produced and published by Offspring Magazine Pty Ltd. ABN: 95 159 474 245 Website www.offspringmagazine.com.au Editorial enquiries editorial@offspringmagazine.com.au Advertising enquiries Phone 02 4326 1178 Mobile 0415 267 414 advertising@offspringmagazine.com.au Subscription enquiries subscription@offspringmagazine.com.au
Jackie O.
Managing Editor Kate Durack Contributing writers Ari Chavez, Gary Ausbruch, Kate Bullen, Ngala Parenting Education Team, Brooke Evans-Butler, Elise Papamihail, Claire Armstrong, Tania Connelly, Emma Saurus. Graphic Designers Steven Lillywhite, Anna Drake and Anjie Rivero Printed by Offset Alpine Printing
✱ Circulation: 130,000 copies per edition across Melbourne, Sydney and Perth (Melbourne due to be CAB Audited in March 2016).
80,000
Average Net Distribution per issue.
This publication has been independently audited by the Circulations Audit Board.
Audit Period: March 2014 - September 2014
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Distribution 130,000 copies distributed in Sydney (50,000 copies), Perth (30,000 copies) and Melbourne (50,000 copies) by paid subscriptions and for free at selected locations. Also available online via www.offspringmagazine.com.au Offspring magazine is an independent magazine published quarterly by Offspring Magazine Pty Ltd. Opinions represented are not necessarily those of the publisher. Offspring magazine contains general information and does not claim to substitute for health or parenting advice. All content is subject to copyright, and may not be reproduced without permission.
Offspring | summer 2016 | sydney
www.offspringmagazine.com.au
Christmas
All I want for
It’s important to remember the ‘Christianity’ in Christmas – a time of charity and mindfulness.
rights (“Breaking (up) Bad”, p. 38). Christmas can be a very stressful time for many families who are struggling financially, especially when we’re bombarded at every turn, with how much we should be buying and spoiling hristmas. A joyous, pleasurable our children to show our love. I think it’s time filled with love, fun and become a massive overindulgence, and I celebration. Yet for others it’s a speak from personal experience. time of pain, stress and conflict. I do love buying presents – it’s one of Christmas can be a dreaded time of year life’s joys – and I can’t wait to go shopping for many people who aren’t fortunate to for the kids, but moderation will be key spend the special day with loved ones. In this year. We’ve compiled an inspiring case: separated families where one parent Christmas Guide (p. 53), which is filled must spend the day without their children. with attractive ideas for the family in case This Christmas marks two years you’re in need of inspiration for finding since my husband and I separated. I’m that special gift. fortunate that we have a very amicable, Last year our kids spent nearly the whole workable relationship, largely due to his day opening presents - they didn’t even kindness, easy-goingness and willingness have time or energy to play with them! But to put the children’s needs first, and as my main problem was, by after about the such we look forward to again sharing fourth present, they lost appreciation for Christmas for a second year with only these gifts, which had been invested with ourselves and our children. lots of thought and hard-earned money, I am aware, however, that not everyone because they just had too many. is as lucky, and this time of year can be So this year I’ve decided to take wretched for many separated parents, and inspiration from my own childhood: One children. solid present and a small Santa Emma Saurus has interviewed stocking containing essentials a good friend of mine, who we’ll such as undies, a toothbrush, call “Tom”, about his devastating a book, a couple of lollies situation in which this Christmas and a few other novel, yet not to be spent with his children useful and inexpensive, is just another blow in a very odds and ends. “Last year unfortunate, nasty situation They will also be t our kids spen - an ex-wife has stripped indulged by grandparents y nearly the whole da the father of all parenting and family so will do well. presents -
C
opening they didn’t even have time or energy to play with them!”
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Offspring | summer 2016 | sydney
This year I plan to involve the kids in donating to the Red Cross Christmas appeal – “One more gift”, www.redcross. org.au/onemoregift This Christmas I also endeavour not to be glutinous with food shopping. Last year I bought and prepared enough for a boarding house, somehow forgetting there were only two adults and a six and three year old, who after feasting on the contents of their Santa stocking couldn’t have been less interested in the smorgasbord I’d prepared. Which brings me to Kate Bullen’s article “Enjoy summer, in moderation” (p. 79), whereby she recommends we practice mindfulness when eating, by taking longer to chew our food and making a point to notice the smell, taste and texture of what’s in our mouth. Part of the fun of Christmas is enjoying the Australian summer - school holidays – a fun time to spend with the kids. Find out about some fun and affordable ideas (many are free!) of what’s going on in and around your capital city in our School Holiday Guide (p. 66.). And then in the New Year read our School Checklist, to help your little one prepare for transition into starting school (“A big change”, p. 76). I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas and a fantastic 2016: A year filled with peace, prosperity, love and happiness. Thanks for being a part of Offspring. Kate X
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Photo: Hilary Adamson, www.hilaryadamsonphotography.com.au
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our contributors
ARI CHÁVEZ COLUMNIST has had work published in Australia, England, Japan and Singapore. She has a delightful toddler, Gabriel, who was born with coffee in his veins. She is currently completing her first novel as part of a PhD project.
ELISE PAPAMIHAIL FASHION & STYLE is Mummy to Chloé and Olivia and is a passionate stylist and fashion writer, embracing the latest trends without compromising on timeless style.
Letitia Rowlands JOURNALIST Letitia worked for daily newspapers for 20 years covering a wide variety of topics but since becoming a mother five years ago, her writing has focussed on family and parenting topics. Letitia lives in Sydney with her husband and two young sons Hugo and Jasper and enjoys a freelance career writing for magazines and websites.
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Offspring | summer 2016 | sydney
GARY AUSBRUCH ACCOUNTANT/COLUMNIST is financial controller for a Perth-based mining company. He has had columns published on the challenging subject of the lighter side of accountancy, and has written for SBS TV. He is married to Sue and has two young children, Ella and Sebastian.
NICOLE COX Journalist has worked in print and online media for 15 years in Melbourne, Adelaide and Perth. Now she has the most adventurous job of her life - mum to energetic toddler, Matteo. Nicole says the flexibility of freelance journalism allows her to combine her two loves, motherhood and writing.
Claire Armstrong Journalist of 10 years across a range of mediums and publications from mining and financial to bridal and pregnancy. She has a passion for all things parenting and a love of sharing stories about the parenthood journey. She is also a busy mum of three beautiful girls and is a trained post-natal doula.
DEVON PLUMLEY MIDWIFE believes her work is most satisfying when she can empower a woman and her partner to birth their baby naturally; and the new little human being thanks his mummy with a squeal!
Kate Bullen Dietitian runs www.dietitianonline.com. au and is mum to three young children. Kate has translated her love of all things online to providing expert nutrition coaching online – it works well for anyone who is busy! Kate’s passion lies in making healthy eating simple and enjoyable.
BROOKE EVANS-BUTLER JOURNALIST has written for home improvement, bridal and women’s lifestyle publications, but says Offspring enables her to combine writing with her new favourite hobby, being a mum to her boys Caleb and Jonah.
Jane Millington INTERIOR DESIGNER has over 15 years’ experience in all facets of the design industry including Interior Design, Styling, Sales and Business Development. Jane specialises in colour design and styling of children’s bedrooms and nurseries with her biggest fans being her two children, Samson and Liv.
Colleen Willis TRAVEL WRITER has roamed the world for many years on her own and with her husband and daughter, Rebekah. During this time, Colleen has been a teacher and an award-winning travel advisor for Australia and overseas. Colleen will guide you through family travel the way she knows best!
tania connolly Journalist Tania Connolly is a freelance writer who has been published in a variety of magazines. Her passion is people and sharing their inspirational journeys. With a husband and two teenagers life is hectic but she wouldn’t want it any other way.
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Offspring | summer 2016 | sydney
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oh
Jackie! By Ari Chavez
Jacqueline Henderson (Jackie O) reveals a more raw side of breakfast radio, and an even more vulnerable side of being a mother, in the public eye. acqueline Henderson, aka Jackie O, has paid her dues.
broadcasting. While Henderson and Sandilands have undoubtedly
One half of the phenomenally successful commercial
had their low points, there’s no arguing with their popularity; they
radio duo, Kyle & Jackie O, on Sydney’s KIIS 106.5,
grab a large slice of the market share, although have continued to
Henderson began her career in the decidedly less
lose percentage points to rival broadcasters in 2015.
glamorous surrounds of regional radio, where she
Henderson acknowledges that she and Sandilands regularly
initially worked the phones - unpaid - for her then-partner, Phil
push the boundaries of good taste, however she is pragmatic
O’Neil, at Canberra’s FM104.7. She later moved with O’Neil to
about the equal parts affection and vitriol they attract, noting that
Triple M in Adelaide, however this time she was his co-host.
listeners would turn away if they weren’t made to feel something.
It was the beginning of her upward trajectory in the cut-throat
“In radio you need to be polarising to have a passionate
environment of commercial radio, a boorish, blokey world driven
audience and a live audience, because if you’re bland it’s probably
solely by ratings and the advertising dollar, where nowadays the
not going to last,” she explains.
diminutive Henderson resides as a star bona fide. It is impossible to write about the forty-year-old Henderson
“I get why Kyle is polarising. He says things and sometimes I cringe, and I cringe sometimes at the things I’ve said. I
without also writing about her long-standing partner in crime, Kyle
think we’re all put in that situation where you’re doing
Sandilands, her controversial co-host. The duo, who have worked
live breakfast radio for three hours a day for years and
together for fifteen years, have built their careers on a frothy
years and years, you’re bound to put your foot in it.
concoction of Top 40 music, entertainment news, interviews with
“I think he’s better at the moment…he’s settled
celebrities and reality TV stars, and tabloid shock-jock antics that
in his older age and he is a little more mellow
regularly draw the affection of fans and ire of the broader listening
and calm…But that honesty, people do
public. It’s a polarising mix that hits the spot for a great swathe
appreciate. Whilst there’s a lot that
of passionate listeners, and frequently enrages the duo’s ever-
hate it, there’s a lot that love it
present critics, who accuse them of lowest-common-denominator
and really love it.
In radio you need to be polarising to have a passionate audience and a live audience, because if you’re bland it’s probably not going to last. 20
Offspring | summer 2016 | sydney
I just think it takes years to get comfortable. It takes a long time to just truly be comfortable with being… yourself, I think. “He’s a lot of fun to work with, and we have a really good chemistry that’s built up over the years. We get on really well, we genuinely do, and I think that’s what’s made it work. I think it all boils down to that, it’s just the chemistry.” Somewhat incongruously, considering her current market niche, in the early ‘90s the young Henderson modelled herself on the steely journalist-of-the-moment, Jana Wendt. Wendt, an enigmatic, icily precise, presence on primetime current affairs shows was a network star in her own right, renowned for her intellect and uncompromising standards. What Wendt, who frequently publically expressed her dislike of the increasingly tabloid nature of current affairs television, and indeed severed contracts with networks if her journalistic standards were breached, would make of Henderson’s early hero-worship is anyone’s guess. “If you had heard what I was like when I first started on radio, it would be awful,” Henderson reveals. “I was trying to sound like Jana Wendt. I wasn’t myself at all. I was pretty young when I first started radio, I was eighteen, but I just thought ‘well, that’s how you are supposed to be on radio or on TV’ so I was reading all my entertainment stories like a newsreader, but that quickly went out the window. sydney | summer 2016 | Offspring
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The duo was reportedly offered 12 million dollars to return to the network they defected from in 2013…which has lost significant market value since they departed after a breakdown in contract negotiations.
“It’s always a balancing act I think, for anyone really. I’m pretty fortunate in that I get off earlier than most, so my hours are that I’m up early and I finish early. So I probably get to spend a bit more time than most with my daughter, which I feel very lucky for, but I think the hardest part is, even though you’re at home, you’re still always buried in the phone, emails. “I try and be as present as I can when I am at home but I
I’m glad I got to have those trial runs in smaller places and
do find it so hard. With mobile phones these days and emails, it’s
markets where I wasn’t being scrutinised like you would here
just never-ending. Even though you’ve knocked off for the day, you
[Sydney]. I just think it takes years to get comfortable. It takes a long
never really do. I always feel so guilty when I’m on the phone so
time to just truly be comfortable with being…yourself, I think.”
much, so I try and make more of an effort to put it away and give
In 2015, Henderson is not only comfortable in the relentlessly competitive environment of breakfast radio, she regularly has the
her [Kitty] my attention. I was thinking yesterday, ‘what did we do before email?’. We
upper hand. In the male-dominated world of commercial radio,
survived fine! I don’t think it’s made it any easier. I think it’s made
where women are often relegated to low-profile support roles, she is
it harder for us. It’s just created so much work and we are all CC-
something of an anomaly. Impossible to separate from Sandilands,
ed on a million emails we don’t need to be. I don’t know if it’s as
Henderson is a savvy force to be reckoned with, with a multi-million
beneficial as we think it is.”
dollar price tag to boot. Indeed, such is their popularity, the duo was
While work pressures are clearly something of a strain,
reportedly offered 12 million dollars to return to the network they
Henderson’s voice literally lightens when she speaks of her
defected from in 2013, Southern Cross Austereo, which has lost
daughter and her husband, Lee. She laughs easily and often when
significant market value since they departed
relaying family anecdotes,
after a breakdown in contract negotiations. But right now, on a sunny Tuesday afternoon in Sydney, the queen of commercial radio simply sounds weary. She makes a good fist
clear she is besotted with her little family.
of juggling a phone interview with keeping an eye on her daughter,
“It’s definitely a lot harder than what I thought it would be,”
Kitty, who periodically interrupts her mother to discuss four-year-
she says, candidly. ‘I think every parent will say the same thing. It’s
old things, yet an undercurrent of fatigue is often present, lifting
incredibly rewarding too. I wouldn’t change it for the world and I just
periodically when she discusses her family or relates an amusing
absolutely adore her [Kitty] and she’s just at the most beautiful age.
anecdote. Indeed at times Henderson seems to be playing such a
She’s about to turn five and they just share so much with you.
low-key version of herself, it’s hard to reconcile the person on the end
We have this thing we do, every night at the dinner table. It’s my
of the line - articulate, thoughtful and astute, with a nice line in wry
favourite part of the day, sitting down and having dinner together
self-deprecation - with the glitzy brashness of her public persona.
as a family. We tell each other the best part of our day and the worst
The fatigue can be attributed in part to the gruelling hours of
part of our day and I just love hearing what she has to say. She makes
breakfast radio, along with that peculiarly twenty first century
me laugh so much, so it’s incredibly rewarding, you’re definitely
insistence on being constantly connected. Henderson, who has
experiencing a love you’ve never felt before.
a small radio studio at home, so she is available to do celebrity
22
the ever-present demands of her career forgotten for a while. It’s
The hardest part is, the part I really struggle with is when you’re
interviews at all hours, readily admits to the difficulties of
sick. It’s usually because they’re sick as well and you don’t get to have
combining her career with motherhood, citing her inability to
a day in bed and feel sorry for yourself. You still have to carry on even
switch off as a constant source of guilt and strain.
though you’re sick, but before child you’d just lie in bed all day and
Offspring | summer 2016 | sydney
watch a movie. Oh, those days were so good! It was such a shock for me. I remember the first time it happened. She was sick for a week, I was sick for a week and I was still having to work as well. I just remember going to the shop and needing to get some milk, and they only had skim milk and I broke down in tears. I thought, ‘I can’t do this anymore’. The littlest thing! You’d do it now, but that was probably the hardest part at first. I thought, ‘this is awful’.” Kitty was a much wanted child, eventually conceived through IVF and born on December 10, 2010. Henderson has spoken publically about IVF, noting her relative good fortune at becoming pregnant after one round of treatment, along with the havoc the daily hormone injections wreaked on her mental health, a state of mind not helped by having to quit smoking on doctor’s orders. “I think my experience of IVF was probably better than most in that I only had to do one round, so I’m so thankful for that,” she explains. “I probably didn’t realise just how hormonal I was at the time…in hindsight, I know I was quite erratic and emotional. I’d also just given up smoking in preparation, so you know what I mean? I had no chance. I was horrific.
I try and be as present as I can when I am at home but I do find it so hard. With mobile phones these days and emails, it’s just never-ending. I think I had to call and apologise to about ten staff members after the fact, I was thinking ‘God what did I say to everyone? I just exploded at the drop of a hat’. But I couldn’t complain about it. The whole process was pretty easy, I think. If you had to keep doing round after round, it would be really, really difficult and so frustrating. I have a girlfriend who went through it, and she went through so many rounds of it, and it can be heartbreaking so my experience was nothing to complain about.” Kitty was only a couple of months old when Henderson inadvertently stumbled into a new storm of controversy. As a media veteran with many years in the public eye, Henderson was no stranger to public criticism, even vitriol. This time, however, was different. It was personal. Henderson was crossing a quiet street in an inner city suburb, while holding baby Kitty and bottle feeding her. A cameraman caught the whole thing on film and the images were published in the press and online, creating a rolling furore. The then-NSW Families Minister, Pru Goward, publically criticised Henderson, calling her ‘unnecessarily cavalier’ and likening her to Michael Jackson when he dangled his baby over the balcony of a third floor hotel suite in Berlin, in 2002. A number of high profile women then rushed to Henderson’s defence including the then-Federal Women’s Minister, Kate Ellis, who instructed Goward to stop judging other women’s choices and start focusing on supportive and flexible work arrangement for parents. sydney | summer 2016 | Offspring
23
We were running late and Kitty was screaming and I knew I had to feed her because, you know, what else can you do? When your baby’s hungry your baby’s hungry and I pulled out my express bottle and I fed her…while walking. At the time, a clearly fragile Henderson attempted to smooth
surprised at how hard that hit because when you become a mother
the increasingly agitated waters of public discourse, apologetically
you become very vulnerable, and you’re very protective as well. I
stating that she was running late and acknowledging that her
just didn’t want to think that I was doing something wrong. I was
choice was not ideal.
embarrassed as well. But I did appreciate the people that defended
“We were running late and Kitty was screaming and I knew I had to feed her because, you know, what else can you do? When your baby’s hungry your baby’s hungry and I pulled out my express bottle and I fed her…while walking,” she said. “I’m the first to admit it’s not the ideal place. Of course 95
me. I mean there were some that didn’t, and they were pretty unscrupulous about it, and I won’t mention names, but there were others. I remember Lisa Wilkinson was one of the first to come to my defence on the Today
per cent of the time I’m seated…The last thing I would ever
show and I was so appreciative of that and
want to do is jeopardise her welfare.”
she offered me some great words of support.
It was a startling public fracas that snowballed
But yeah, it wasn’t a great time, and it went
further, with Henderson ultimately being
on and on and that was the worst part, it just
publically excoriated for returning to work
kept dragging, and they [the media] do like
too early, placing more importance
to blow up those things, so I get how it works
on her career than her family, and
but, yeah, it wasn’t nice.”
leaving her husband to look after two month old Kitty. People
Four years on, Henderson has settled more confidently into motherhood. Content
from all sides of politics
with her little family
and the media weighed
of three, she says she
in, with Henderson’s
probably won’t have
innocent stroll
another baby despite
through a quiet
having some “pretty good
street with her
embryos” available. On the
baby a flashpoint for a raft of judgement and criticisms about motherhood, parenting and gender roles within the home and workplace. Aside from her initial,
work front, she’s maintaining the status quo, unwilling to commit to more projects that will take her away from her beloved Kitty. “I don’t think I’m doing anything yet,” she muses. “Radio takes up a lot of time. Surprisingly. I know people think you go in for a few hours and
careful explanation, Henderson
leave, but it’s not that at all. I do want to make sure
said very little publically while the
I’m focused on that one hundred per cent before
storm raged around her. Four years
taking on anything else…maybe when Kitty’s in
on, however, the incident still rankles,
school next year.
and she admits she felt increasingly vulnerable as the story refused to die. “I think that’s a good word – vulnerable,”
I just haven’t wanted to take my focus away in those first five years…doing a bunch of other projects that don’t really mean anything for the sake
she says, quietly. “I think that’s how we all
of it so, maybe when I’ve got a bit more time next
feel when we become a mother. I have been
year, but nothing’s in the pipeline just yet.”
on the receiving end of half-stories in the past,
She pauses for a moment, then laughs ruefully.
and I think I can take it pretty well. I’ve been in
“I don’t think I could handle it right now. I’ve got my
the media long enough that it is like water off a
hands full enough.”
duck’s back now. I mean, it took me a long time to get there, but there’s hardly a story today that would affect me or that I would lose sleep over. “But I think when that happened, I was quite
24
Offspring | summer 2016 | sydney
I think that’s a good word – vulnerable. I think that’s how we all feel when we become a mother.
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FUNNY MUMMY with Ari Chávez
Lunch
is on me
Ari chats about the changing nature of kids’ school lunches.
M
y kid trots into school with the same lunch every day. A vegemite and cheese sandwich, some fruit, a little tub of tinned beans and maybe some yoghurt if I’m
feeling all party-like. I can whip that lunchbox up in about forty seconds flat with my eyes closed, which is a bonus in the undercaffeinated chaos that is the Morning School Run. My son’s lunchbox suffices I suppose, but I did go through a stage of thinking I could give it more verve, so I joined a School Lunchbox Facebook Group. Yes, that is correct. I joined a group
cherry tomatoes in that tree even though Koalas don’t technically
that exists solely to talk about the contents of our children’s
eat them.
lunchboxes, and post boastful photos of said lunches in a neverending scroll. I don’t like to dwell too much on the implications of
in the shape of baby Koalas, who have a fruit salad to nibble on full
this.
of grapes and blueberries. And finally, some jello cups that look like
Facebook is the devil in one thousand guises of course. The
Blinky Bill with sultana eyes and a mandarin mouth.
School Lunchbox Group is one of those guises, an illusion of
If you really know your stuff, you will include Koala printed
wholesome innocence but actually one of the Nine Circles of
napkins, and maybe a cute little handwritten story about a Koala
Hell. It is - it has to be said - a challenging world for a Vegemite Sandwich Mother to navigate. There is one reason for this. Themed lunches. Yes, the School Lunchbox Group is chock full of enterprising mothers who – NO JOKE – create incredibly complicated themed-lunches-witha-point for their offspring every day. That is a
that you whipped up in between flipping breakfast pancakes. If you can’t come at a story, you can write an Encouraging Note for your child and tuck it under the sandwich. There is a lot of Note Action going on in the School Lunchbox Group. After you do all this, you take
hella lot of themes to come up with, and it’s
ten thousand photos of your
not even anyone’s birthday. In my opinion,
Koala-themed lunchbox, choose
birthdays are the only time we should be
the best three and post them in
talking themes because of the level of headbreaking detail needed, and the inevitable requirement to go shopping in Kmart’s Party section. So, say your kid likes Koalas, you might do a Koala theme. This means that in your kid’s lunchbox you might have a shaved ham, Gruyere cheese and mustard sandwich cut
26
Then you might have some banana and flaxseed muffins made
the School Lunchbox Group with a natty header like WE’RE ALL GOING KOALAS HERE!. Then everyone else will comment - usually positively - but some ubercompetitive Lunchboxers will respond with photos of their own creations, and a few passive
out in the shape of a Koala, sitting in a tree made of a celery stick
aggressive statements like, GREAT CELERY STICK TREE
and some spinach leaves. Just for fun, you might wack a couple of
TRUNK (CHILEAN CELERY? ON SPECIAL FROM COLES?). I
Offspring | summer 2016 | sydney
www.offspringmagazine.com.au
DID SOMETHING SIMILAR LAST YEAR WITH SOME
My son’s lunchbox suffices I suppose, but I did go through a stage of thinking I could give it more verve, so I joined a School Lunchbox Facebook Group.
ORGANIC STRING BEANS FROM OUR VERY OWN VEGETABLE PATCH, GROWN WITH LOVE AND ZERO PESTICIDES. BIG HIT HERE, AND WE APPRECIATE HOW THERE’S NO SUPERMARKET COLD STORAGE INVOLVED! WE’RE WORKING ON KEEPING THOSE VITAMINS IN, THOSE PESTICIDES OUT, THOSE FOOD MILES DOWN AND SAVING OUR PLANET. ☺. So, yeah. There’s that. I told you Facebook was the devil. Devilish behaviours aside, that is a whole lot of Koala
to organise before the school run and I am not even talking about writing a Koala story to go with the posh sandwich, or the Encouraging Note. Heck, I’m just talking about the cheap, Colescold-storage, Chilean-celery-stick tree, which is probably two years old, soaked in pesticides and vitamin-less. Plus I thought this kind of thing was against the rules because, well, pressure! And finally - genuine question - who has time to do this sort of thing? Really? Who has time? I do not understand the tick tock factor. I suspect I may never understand it, and that is a critical difference between a Vegemite Sandwich Mother and a Themed Lunchbox Mother. What we do with our ticks and our tocks. Plus, I am not sure what my son would do with an Encouraging Note in his lunchbox. He’d probably try and eat my words and find them indigestible.
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sydney | summer 2016 | Offspring
27
Charlotte’s fight Mum, Laura, administers 13 medications a day to 18-month-old daughter Charlotte, who had her first operation at three days of age, and worries that just a common cold could prove lethal to her third child. By TANIA CONNOLLY
C
harlotte’s gorgeous grin and serene temperament belie her extraordinary struggle for survival and tenacity to cling to life, as her tiny body is ravaged by a multitude of
health issues. Her cherubic face lights up as four-year-old sister Isabella twirls nearby in her sky-blue dress, and seven-year-old brother Joshua chases a bouncing ball. Their mother, Laura, looks on with mixed emotions. She draws strength from spending time with her three children, and prefers not to dwell on the uncertainty of Charlotte’s life expectancy. Laura’s third pregnancy progressed similarly to her previous two and she had no qualms about attending the first trimester screening. An unexpected phone call requesting she visit the doctor’s rooms to discuss the result, “knocked the wind out of me,” she says. The nuchal measurement on the back of her baby’s neck was 9.1mm, she’d been told, much higher than the standard 2.5mm – 3.5mm. She says, “They basically said the chance of a good outcome was very, very slim and I was more or less led to believe that she wouldn’t make it. It was not a viable pregnancy.” Chorionic villus sampling (CVS), a check for genetic abnormalities, was arranged and Laura says all Charlotte’s chromosomes were fine and there was no indication of any syndromes. “So we breathed a sigh of relief and thought that everything would be fine with her,” she says.
28
Offspring | summer 2016 | sydney
Charlotte was three and a half weeks old before Laura was allowed to cuddle her. ‘I was nervous as anything to be honest. She was so fragile looking; she still had a machine basically breathing for her and tubes coming out of everywhere.’
Real Life
They believed if Charlotte survived to term and her operation was successful, it was likely that would be the extent of her issues.
Photography: Krystle Ricci www.krystlericci.com At 19 weeks Laura underwent an anatomy scan. When the sonographer consulted with others, Laura started to feel uneasy and suspected something might be wrong. Her suspicions were confirmed when they asked her to meet in the counselling room to review the findings.
Australian clothing made case of congenital diaphragmatic hernia – all her abdominal organs had migrated into her chest, inhibiting the area available for her cotton from organic The scan revealed Charlotte suffered from an extremely severe
heart and lungs to develop. The implication was insufficient lung tissue to enable Charlotte the ability to breathe. “They said the chance of her surviving to term, and then
making it to the surgery she’d have to have almost at birth, and on through to being discharged and having a healthy life, was almost non-existent. They said it was a less than 10 per cent chance,” Laura says; and adds, she dissolved into tears when the doctors recommended terminating the pregnancy, handing her a tablet to ingest to induce birth. That night Laura couldn’t sleep. Instead she researched the disease. Her Googling presented her with pictures of children with comparable prognoses, looking perfectly normal and leading relatively ordinary lives. The next morning she shared her discovery with her husband. They believed if Charlotte survived to term and her operation was successful, it was likely that would be the extent of her issues. They agreed to proceed with the pregnancy.
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29
The geneticist noted Charlotte’s dysmorphic features – wide set eyes and low set ears which, she told Laura, are indicative of a genetic condition.
Real
Life
Laura describes this pregnancy as “extremely stressful” and “tough both emotionally and physically”. Every ten days from 25 weeks until her caesarean at 38 weeks, Laura drove 100km each way from Northam to King Edward Hospital in Subiaco, to have two litres of amniotic fluid drained directly from her belly, because Charlotte wasn’t able to swallow and process it. The days she didn’t feel many kicks Laura experienced a “sinking feeling” and wondered if Charlotte had already died. Laura says, “I’d almost started grieving her during the pregnancy as a form of self-preservation. I had no baby things out. I hadn’t got the cot ready. I had no clothes packed. I don’t think I allowed myself to think about bringing a baby home just in case it didn’t happen. If anything I’d started thinking what was the memorial service going to look like? How am I going to get through that? What do you do for a newborn no-one’s really ever going to meet?”
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Offspring | summer 2016 | sydney
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Laura has been advised that Charlotte’s global developmental delay is at about a six months level and that her daughter will never sit unaided, walk or talk.
Unfortunately various investigations since have uncovered numerous anomalies within Charlotte’s complex anatomy. In her short life she has already undergone 13 surgeries, many to do with resolving feeding issues. Charlotte’s stomach simply doesn’t function so after unsuccessful attempts at breastfeeding, tubes have been placed up her nose, down her throat, directly into her stomach and currently she is fed via the duodenum. With her hearing below par she has been fitted with bilateral grommets to drain excess fluid and had her adenoids removed. She has been diagnosed with epilepsy and cerebral palsy, has a biuvula palate abnormality, and her lower left rib is fused. Charlotte arrived on 21st March 2015 and Laura says her baby had a tube down her throat and drains inserted before she was even cleaned. Transferred to Princess Margaret Hospital at seven hours old the tiny tot endured her first surgery at three days of age. Charlotte was three and a half weeks old before Laura was allowed to cuddle her. “I was nervous as anything to be honest. She was so fragile looking; she still had a machine basically breathing for her and tubes coming out of everywhere. I was terrified I was going to dislodge a tube, or move something, or block her mouth … I was just too scared to hug her too tightly. It was very nerve-wracking.” Up until that point Laura had been
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Laura administers 13 medications a day to Charlotte, takes her to weekly specialist appointments and worries that a common cold could prove lethal. given strict instructions how to handle Charlotte. Gentle touching was fine, but stroking could create additional stress to her baby as she tried to process the sensation, which could result in her becoming unstable. Charlotte went home at six weeks old but failed to thrive and returned two weeks later. Since then, Laura says, she hasn’t been home for more than three weeks at a time. “When we were first discharged we thought her diaphragmatic hernia had been repaired and we were good. That was it. She didn’t have a chromosomal issue. We thought we were taking home a healthy
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31
An MRI also depicted the brain’s layer of white matter, which conveys messages to the body’s
Real
Life
muscles, to be noticeably thinner than average. The geneticist noted Charlotte’s dysmorphic features – wide set eyes and low set ears which, she told Laura, are indicative of a genetic condition. Laura says the geneticist openly admits she doesn’t understand the cause of Charlotte’s problems, other than finding a very minor duplication of one of her x chromosomes. She explained that it’s not until babies are older that developmental delays, specific features and certain behaviours are noticed.
She is considered palliative and there is no cure: it’s just a case of managing and keeping her as comfortable as possible. Laura has been advised that Charlotte’s global developmental delay is at about a six months level and that her daughter will never sit unaided, walk or talk. She knows the risk of re-
resulted in Laura separating from her husband and their older
complications to future procedures.
children being confronted with their sister’s mortality, Laura
Laura administers 13 medications a day to Charlotte, takes her to weekly specialist appointments and worries that a common cold could prove lethal. Laura concedes, “She is considered palliative and there is no
32
Although the impact of Charlotte’s ongoing challenges has
herniation is ever present, with scar tissue and adhesions adding
would prefer to focus on the positives. “She’s here and I think she’s here for a very good reason. She’s got a lovely temperament and so many people are inspired by this little girl.” Laura adds, “My hopes are just that she reaches her full
cure: it’s just a case of managing and keeping her as comfortable
potential and that she’s given the opportunity to be the best that she
as possible.”
can be and be as comfortable as she can, for as long as she can.”
Offspring | summer 2016 | sydney
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Pleasure
Model Mothers
What are we teaching our children about their bodies?
By Emma Saurus
T
wo Australian women want to change the way you think
she asked herself what message it sent to her daughter. That
about your body. Why? Because there’s fun to be had, and
question stopped her cold and sent her in an entirely different
you can save on your children’s future therapy bills to boot.
direction. Taryn’s before-and-after pictures went viral. They turned the ideal upside-down, showing her
Today even models and celebrities
are Photoshopped into impossible
transformation from glamazon to happy, curvy
perfection. If you want your kids to be
mum. Sure, if you can’t get rock-hard abs you
content in their own skin, as sure as legs are hairy, you’re going to have to model how. Taryn Brumfitt, founder of the Body Image Movement, urges us to change our thinking, not our bodies. Maven of the pleasurable weight loss movement Jena la Flamme reminds us that we are animals with a physical need for joy.
Growing old is a privilege. The lines on my face remind me that life is short and the bucket-list is long. So many people’s lives are cut short through illness, and the rest of us are worried about looking old?
Taryn
With three children under her belt, feeling depressed about
her post-baby belly, Taryn Brumfitt took herself to the gym. After months of gruelling work, she strutted her buff stuff in a glittery
would anyone choose flab over fab? “Trying to maintain a body that is not your natural body shape takes a lot of hard work — you might even say obsession,” says Taryn. “There were too many sacrifices, for me personally and for my family.” “There was a lot of time I didn’t spend with the kids — I was going to the gym every single day for hours. I was so restrictive with what I was eating that I’d have to make two meals a
night, and I was incredibly grumpy. There’s just more to life than having that body.” Taryn could not stomach the idea of her young daughter
bikini and heels on stage in a fitness competition. She achieved the
loathing her own body. And so another of Taryn’s babies was born:
kind of body most women think, well, that they should have.
the Body Image Movement.
Taryn was preparing for breast surgery and liposuction when 34
may as well love yourself as you are, but why
Offspring | summer 2016 | sydney
“My Developing Daughters, Supporting Sons seminar teaches www.offspringmagazine.com.au
is an essential daily nutrient
Creator, Jena la Flamme, t ht Loss Movemen eig W e bl ra Pleasu
parents how to empower their children to think more about what they contribute to the world than what they look like. It’s changing how we value ourselves as parents, and we model that to our kids.” “What language do you use at home? Little comments send a message, like when a young kid hears their mum say, ‘I don’t want to have my photo taken today. I look terrible. I’m fat.’ Parents should never underestimate the power of their words, on both sides of the scale, positive and negative. We have to take responsibility.”
t an o n s i y d o b y M vehicle a ’s t I . t n e m orna . to my dreams aker, fitt, Film m Taryn Brum t n e m ve e Mo Body Imag
“It’s super-important that we value our own bodies. My body is not an ornament. It is the vehicle to my dreams. Get some perspective and have some gratitude. What will you be thinking about when you take you final breath on this Earth? No one has ever answered: their cellulite or their deflated breasts.” “Get off the scales. We should strive to be healthy, but being healthy is not the same as having a bikini body. We have been given a distorted message of health. It is not just physical.” Taryn also sees it as vital to talk with children about media and
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advertising. “It all comes back to money and trying to sell something. They’re trying to sell this idea that we should be sexy and hot, and here is a product that will help. We need to armour our children by building a foundation of values that is not based on what they look like, so these negative messages don’t infiltrate their decision-making or the relationship they have with their bodies.” “Growing old is a privilege. The lines on my face remind me that life is short and the bucket-list is long. We are told to defy the wrinkles on our face, and it is just so absurd. So many people’s lives are cut short through illness, and the rest of us are worried about looking old? I think we’ve been brainwashed into thinking that there’s something wrong with our evolving bodies, and there simply isn’t.” www.offspringmagazine.com.au
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35
PARENTING
s of years that Our culture has said for thousand in her passion a woman who is really engaged ng. and self-esteem is a dangerous thi
Jena
It shouldn’t be shocking for a woman to eat a packet of chips
on-camera, but somehow I felt like I was watching something R-rated when I saw Jena la Flamme demonstrate her favourite way to enjoy crispy potato goodness. (Turn the packet upsidedown to redistribute the salt. Genius!) Ex-pat Jena is the creator of the Pleasurable Weight Loss
“I realised that when I over-ate, eating stopped being
movement. While her work is pitched at the lucrative and large
pleasurable. It’s when pleasure ends that over-eating begins.
market of women unhappy with their bodies, her approach is
When you eat for pleasure, and you really focus your attention —
more philosophical. She teaches a sensual and playful approach
because that’s what pleasure requires; attention — you just eat the
to life.
right amount.”
When we talk about females feeling good about their bodies,
“Our culture has said for thousands of years that a woman who
we still kinda mean feeling good about the way we think we look
is really engaged in her passion and self-esteem is a dangerous
to others; our self-image. It seems revolutionary to talk about
thing. Why is that? When you feel good, you feel powerful, you
feeling good about your body for the pleasure it allows you to
feel free. You don’t let people push you around. All of that comes
experience. This is not something that many young people hear,
to life when you pursue your pleasure. You eat the foods that really
and Jena was no exception.
work for you and nourish you. You choose friends that nurture
“I was given the message that pleasure is a once-in-a-while reward. You definitely need to earn it; you’re not just entitled to it. It’s potentially dangerous. What did that result in? I was bulimic
you. You choose supportive partners. You are honest with yourself and with others about what you need.” “If you’re feeling like, ‘Oh, my body’s disgusting. I’m going to
by the time I was fourteen. I would enjoy food, but feel guilty
love my body when I lose weight, not now,’ that is important to
about enjoying food, over-eat and then purge in secrecy and
address, because that is the fundamental shift that needs to occur:
shame. What healed me was when I said, ‘No. Pleasure is needed.’
to start loving and respecting your body as she is.”
Pleasure is healthy.”
“Realise that your body is not a possession of your mind. Not
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Offspring | summer 2016 | sydney
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I was bulimic by the time I was fourteen. I would enjoy food, but feel guilty about enjoying food, over-eat and then purge in secrecy and shame. What healed me was when I said, ‘No. Pleasure is needed.’ Pleasure is healthy.
and deny ourselves, but we’re embarrassed to say, ‘I’m gonna get a massage, sleep in, take a hot bath, really take care of myself, and that’s how I’m going to lose weight. Because when I do that, I’m not going to need to eat and drink too much because I’m
something that you and your thoughts get to judge.
going to be having such a damn
The truth is that if it wasn’t for your body pumping
good time in my body that I won’t
your heart, your lungs, keeping you going, there would be no mind to look in the mirror and say, ‘You need to lose ten kilos before I can love you.’ You’d be dead.” “It is pure arrogance to be so disrespectful to your body. You
be attracted to those things.’” “The secret sauce of pleasurable weight loss is erotic innocence, which is your attraction toward everything that makes you feel alive. Before you knew that there was any reason to feel
may say, ‘The truth is, I don’t love how my body looks.’ Okay. Find
guilty about pleasure, you were innocent. We can consciously
a deeper, heartfelt gratitude that your body keeps you alive and
create space for erotic innocence in our lives by asking, ‘What if I
gives you an opportunity to start afresh every day. That is basis
took the guilt and shame away from pleasure? What would I really
enough for an infinite amount of love.”
enjoy? Where would that lead me?’ This shifts unhealthy habits,
“The idea of pleasurable weight loss has shock value, because we’ve been so accustomed to thinking that punishment is the
old body images and moods, and it transforms us.” Taryn is in the final stages of producing her Kickstarter-funded
only way to lose weight. We have a culture that prides itself on
documentary Embrace. Help her spread her message across the
suffering.”
world at www.bodyimagemovement.com.au. Explore your
“We’re happy to talk about how much we’re going to punish
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erotic innocence at www.pleasurableweightloss.com.
sydney | summer 2016 | Offspring
37
Breaking
(up) Bad Tom misses his kids. He is one of many separated Australian dads who wish they could be more of a father to their children.
By Emma Saurus
“M
e and Elise were together fifteen years. We had Cassie, three years later we had Brad, and three years after that we separated. It blindsided me
when Elise asked me to leave. Later, people told me that she’d been having an affair. “When she kicked me out of the house, I couldn’t take the dog with me. She wanted to move into a town house, so she had the dog put down. Instead of ringing me and saying, ‘Hey, look, I’m moving, can you take your dog or find a home for it?’ she just took it to the vet and had it put down. My fourteen-year-old kelpie that was my companion, came to work with me every day on the back of my truck. “She didn’t even tell me that she had moved. She told the kids not to tell me, because if they did, I would break into the house and steal all their toys. “It’s nearly seven years that I’ve been apart from my kids, and it’s been a struggle the whole way. At first I was seeing the kids three or four nights per fortnight. Then I turned up to collect them, and she came out with a letter, saying, ‘Unless you sign this letter, you’re not seeing the kids.’ The letter said that I was dropping my access from four days down to three. Later she said, ‘You can see them for two hours once a month on a Wednesday night.’ I instigated mediation again. Three times we went back, and she hasn’t budged.
She told me that, as far as she was concerned, her kids’ father was dead, they don’t need me in their life. They’ve got a grandfather and that’s all they need. 38
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“The mediator asked her, ‘You realise that if Tom takes this to court, he would most likely be granted fifty–fifty custody?’ She gave him a smile, and said, ‘He won’t take me to court! He hasn’t got the money. My parents have.’ She knew she had me over a barrel. “In mediation she sat there and looked at me and told me the kids hated me. She told me that, as far as she was concerned, her kids’ father was dead, they don’t need me in their life. They’ve got a grandfather and that’s all they need. It upsets my mum, too, not being involved in her grandkids’ lives, not having a relationship with her grandkids. “Elise does everything within her power to minimise the amount of contact I have with the kids. Once a week I can ring and talk to them. I’ve given them a phone, as Elise won’t give me her number. Whenever I ring, it’s always turned off, or the battery’s flat, or no one answers, or my ex-wife answers and says that the kids are in the shower or they’re eating dinner, so they’re unavailable to talk. “I bought Cassie a mobile phone when she was twelve, when she started high school and started going out with her girlfriends. After she took it home, I got a call from Elise, saying, ‘Don’t bother trying to phone Cassie on that number. I’ve taken the SIM card out and I’ve thrown it away. I’m getting her a new SIM card tomorrow.’ I don’t even have my daughter’s number.
A child psychologist told me that the kids will eventually see what’s going on and vote with their feet. I’m pinning quite a bit of hope on that. “I have rung the police because she wouldn’t let me see the kids. To see your daughter being physically carried out by a female police officer, crying hysterically, it breaks your heart. You’re forced to make the decision, ‘Do I forgo seeing the kids, or put them in this position of being made so upset?’ You start to question what is best for them. “It’s very hard to accept. But the time I do have with the kids, it’s great. I focus on making sure that they know their dad loves them, and I’m not giving up on our relationship. A child psychologist told me that the kids will eventually see what’s going on and vote with their feet. I’m pinning quite a bit of hope on that. “My ex plays the system very well. I’m sick of dealing with the people at Child Support. She can ring them up and tell them anything she likes, and then I have to prove my innocence by providing documentation and filling in form after form. The system is very one-sided. I can understand why dads climb the Sydney Harbour Bridge and protest. “I don’t begrudge paying for my children, not one bit. But I’m currently paying $2,400 a month for my two kids, and I just don’t see how any child needs $300 a week to live off. I’m living in a converted garage, a granny flat. I have $200 to live off per week. My kids have more money to live off than I do. “I’ll get by. I’ve got four more years until the payments drop down to one child. In another seven years, my child support is done. And then I can get a life. “Elise is a very good carer. I’ll give her that. But a good mother doesn’t keep kids away from their father.” sydney | summer 2016 | Offspring
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I don’t begrudge paying for my children... But I’m currently paying $2,400 a month for my two kids, I’m living in a converted garage ... I have $200 to live off per week. Tom is not the only one sacrificing his own happiness to keep the peace. This particular brand of misery has far too much company. Each year the parents of 40,000 Australian children divorce — and even more children live through de facto breakups. Shockingly, an Australian Bureau of Statistics study showed that a quarter of all children from separated families see their absent parent only once a year or less. Yes, there are some deadbeat dads out there. Yes, some relationships are abusive and unhealthy. And, yes, some mothers exploit their power as primary caregiver to hurt their former partners. Children are the innocent casualties of this emotional warfare.
His balls are in your court It’s not only legal costs that deter fathers from seeking a court ruling. Men’s rights groups across the country voice anger towards the courts for not giving them a fair go. In 2013 retiring Family Court judge Justice David Collier broke the profession’s traditional silence to speak out about dirty tactics in divorce cases. He said that false allegations of abuse have been used as a weapon in the battle for child custody.
TIPS FOR SCHOOL READINESS 1. Social and Emotional Model how to make new friends, share and care for others, explaining to your child how and why you do what you do; these skills can be explicitly taught. 2. Independence and Personal Responsibility Dedicate time to helping your child learn ageappropriate personal hygiene, manners and how to look after their own (and others’) property; and learn strategies to manage separation anxiety.
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Offspring | summer 2016 | sydney
3. Academic, Curiosity and Concept Development Research fun, easy ways to nurture your child’s curiosity, and look for activities that can be played “in the everyday”; ie. while travelling, cooking/making things, or finding/ counting items at home or the shops. 4.
Physical Allow your child to attempt (safe) challenges to realise their physical abilities and limitations. Practise both fine motor skills (ie. using pencils, scissors or various fasteners like zippers; even eating from a lunchbox), and gross motor skills (ie. safely crossing a road, climbing, balancing, running, jumping, swimming and general water survival). A school within the Anglican Schools Corporation
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He said, “When you have heard the evidence, you realise that this is a person who’s so determined to win that he or she will say anything. I’m satisfied that a number of people who have appeared
I spent thousands upon thousands of dollars on a lawyer. He said, ‘We can do this, but at the end of the day, you have absolutely no legal right to see this child. None... My advice to you is that you need to mourn and move on now, because this woman is not going to let you see this child.
before me have known that it is one of the ways of completely shutting husbands out of the child’s life.” Fathers have a long history of feeling unfairly treated by the judicial system. The Family Court at Parramatta, where Justice Collier served, was bombed in 1984 by a man angry about being denied custody of his daughter. Leonard Warwick was arrested in July this year for bombing the courthouse and the homes of two judges. He is accused of murdering four people, including Judge David Opas and the wife of Judge Ray Watson. Before 2006, Australia’s Family Law Act saw a father’s main role in his family as providing financial support. Custody was almost always awarded to the mother. Professor Lawrie Moloney says that “these court orders reduced the status of thousands of separated fathers to that of visitors to their children.” Legal changes in 2006 recognised the right of the child to have a meaningful relationship with both parents.
Your parents are your parents Dr Chris May of the Family Action Centre at the University of Newcastle points out that “It’s not just fathers. Children do a lot better with a second parent of either gender.” If fathers have been given a raw deal, the deal for same-sex
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41
parents has been stinking rotten. Until 2008, same-sex couples were not recognised by Australian law. No legal recognition meant no right to see the children they had raised. Peta separated from her partner well before same-sex relationships had a legal footing. “I met Zoe in my twenties. She was about two months pregnant at the time we started dating. About four or five months later I moved into her house. I was there when Heather came into the world. “We co-parented. Heather was a croupy baby and would often wake at night. She was also born breech, so we had to do these bloody awful exercises, otherwise she would have had to be put into splints. I was the one who did those because they used to distress Zoe too much. I was a very engaged parent. When I came home from work, Heather would come flying down the passage, screaming my name. “I think Zoe had postnatal depression. She became increasingly erratic and volatile. And violent. The violence got so bad — I had concussion and a broken foot because of her rage — that I said, ‘Look, I can’t do this any more, but I definitely want to be in Heather’s life.’ This was when Heather was about four. “I had Heather every Tuesday night and every other weekend. I would rearrange anything to spend time with her. That went on for about six months. “Then one day, without warning, I turned up to collect Heather, and Zoe was standing there at the door. She said, ‘You’re not seeing her any more.’ She turned around and shut the door. And that was it. I never saw Heather again.
An Australian Bureau of Statistics study showed that a quarter of all children from separated families see their absent parent only once a year or less. “I was absolutely devastated. I knew Zoe could be quite emotional, so I hoped it was just a mood swing, and she would ring me the next week and say, ‘Oh, I was just having a bad day. Come and get her on the weekend.’ I think it was about a year I waited, hoping. I spent thousands upon thousands of dollars on a lawyer. He sent letters, trying to get her to put a formal agreement in place. He said, ‘We can do this, but at the end of the day, you have absolutely no legal right to see this child. None.’ Eventually he said, ‘My advice to you is that you need to mourn and move on now, because this woman is not going to let you see this child.’ “So, I did. I mourned. Mourning a child — it’s a mourning you carry with you for the rest of your life. “I have had Heather’s phone number for about five years. Every now and then I think about ringing it. The thing that stops me is that I wonder: Is this about me or is this about her? My primary concern should be Heather, not myself. I would not intentionally do something that I know could cause her pain. I may not have seen Heather for a bloody long time, but that doesn’t change it one iota. “We can still have those feelings. You don’t have to be biologically connected. A child within your heart is your child. You have the same sense of responsibility, and they have the same sense of place in your life.” 42
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How to stay together even if you break up Even if your relationship falls apart, you can still put your family first. Respectful cooperation will reduce the children’s trauma and teach invaluable life lessons about relationships. n Use pre-trial support services The Family Court offers help for separating couples, including relationship counselling and dispute resolution. n Share parenting, live close by, and speak respectfully of one another Scientific studies of the children of divorce show that kids do better when these three conditions are met. n Remember that you loved each other, once Justice David Collier sees compassion as the key ingredient that gets families through the trauma of separation. “Be nice to each other. That’s the only order I would have to make.”
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Our internet picks SHOPPING online is fun and convenient. Now there is fantastic range of fashion items and great buys for the family. However, looking for good-quality sites can be overwhelming with such a large number from which to choose. Finding your way around can be daunting! We’ve provided a few good Australian sites, which offer a great range of stylish, beautiful and practical items to help point you in the right direction.
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www.plumcollections.com.au Australian label Plum, the leader in kids swimwear, has launched another delicious swimwear range - a collection of original colourful prints including: themes of fruity flavours and berry nice strawberries. fabulous floral, vintage retro inspired graphics, stripes and spots, nautical influences and cute French looks. All Plum swimwear offers UPF 50+ Protection and sizes start from size 000 - 7 years. The range includes: • swim nappy • bikini Plum adorable • halter one piece Australian swimwear • rash vests and shorts is available online • all-in-one swimsuit and in Baby Bunting • swimming trunks and boutiques • legionnaires hats nationwide • board shorts
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sydney | summer 2016 | Offspring
43
DAD’S WORLD
with Gary Ausbruch
Simple tastes Gary contemplates the changing nature of his family’s diet.
A
s I sit here munching on some wholegrain crackers packed with linseeds, chia seeds and sesame seeds, but not packed with gluten or MSG, and definitely not
packed with artificial colours or flavours, I ponder the question: When did eating get so complicated? It used to be simple. When I was a kid, there were three broad categories of food: Firstly, there was food you ate on special occasions. Secondly, there was going out food, which was Chinese or Italian. And then there was everything else. Special occasion food pretty much only appeared when we had guests over, sat in the dining room on the velour upholstered chairs and ate off the white plates. The only other times it might have been sprung for was when interest rates had gone down or Australia won the America’s Cup or something.
Special occasion food was camembert, or any cheese that wasn’t cheddar and came in a shiny paper wrapping. It was
Do you have a pet? Are you expecting a baby?
mangoes, avocados and nuts that weren’t peanuts. It was fish that didn’t come in a tin or a packet. I don’t mean to imply that my mum wasn’t creative with her food preparation, or didn’t have the health of her family at the forefront of her mind. Quite the opposite – we at least had real cheddar in our wholemeal sandwiches, while some of the other kids at school had Kraft Singles in their white bread ones. It was just that special occasion food was special because in those days, it was – relatively speaking – scarce, and therefore, expensive.
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These days, we’re spoilt for choice, and everything is cheap (with the exception of my favourite fish in a packet, smoked salmon – each time I buy it I still can’t believe it costs $12 for a few slivers) and plentiful and available all year round. Of course, these days there is a much greater awareness of the impact unhealthy eating has on our bodies and especially the development of kids. In our house, this awareness has recently heightened, as The Omnipotent One has embarked on a whole
www.wearefamily.nsw.gov.au
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Offspring | summer 2016 | sydney
and organic foods journey. Now this has led to a number of changes in my diet. My www.offspringmagazine.com.au
Sustain breakfast cereal is now pearl tapioca and amaranth porridge or buckwheat pancakes. My lunchtime sandwich is instead now based around whole grain quinoa, soaked to reduce the phytic acid
“Special occasion food pretty much only appeared when we had guests over, sat in the dining room on the velour upholstered chairs and ate off the white plates. “
content. For dinner, my meat wouldn’t
something I would have thought immune from accusations of being anything other than perfectly healthy – is only able to be consumed in biodynamic, non-homogenised form. For someone who a) eats a lot; and b) isn’t great with change, this has been an interesting
myself going down to the $40 breakfast buffet at the hotel and instead of getting the best value by having the full cooked breakfast, gorging on five of those mini boxes of Sustain. Or I’ll keep a box in the office and start having my breakfast
dream of feeding on anything other than grass. Even my yoghurt afternoon snack –
my fill. On a work trip, I can see
at work like those people I despise, using up all of the milk that was meant for tea and coffee. But I will keep trying. I will smile to my kids across the breakfast table as we eat our tapioca porridge. Because even though food isn’t as simple as the days when I was a kid, my mum and The Omnipotent One are coming from the same place, and their intentions are as pure as organic extra-virgin coconut oil: they know that eating as many natural, unprocessed foods as
experience, and I’m trying to embrace it. But
possible is one of the keys to a healthy, happy life. It just takes a
to go without the cereal that I’ve had every
bit more effort.
morning for most of my life, and that I could probably survive on exclusively for breakfast,
And with that, as I polish off the wholegrain crackers-withthree-kinds-of-seeds, I contemplate what I may have munched on
lunch and dinner?
while studying at my desk in my parents’ house. Some mouth-
I’m just not sure I can do it. And I suspect it will
drool starts to form as I vividly recall the unmistakable taste of
lead to going to some extraordinary lengths to get
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chicken Twisties.
sydney | summer 2016 | Offspring
45
By Claire Armstrong
The prospect of consuming your own placenta might raise a few eyebrows or be guffawed at as cannibalism but placentas have been praised for their medicinal properties for centuries. More recently placenta encapsulation and consuming it as a daily supplement has been praised for its power to ward off postnatal depression, increase energy levels and boost milk supply.
The
placenta
F
pill
or a growing number of new mums, including celebrities
The biggest draw card for most clients is the reported energy boost that can come with consuming placenta, a bonus for any new mum.
January Jones, Alicia Silverstone
and the Kardashian clan, the placenta has become a crucial element in the postnatal medicine cabinet as part of a rapidly growing trend of having your placenta encapsulated into tasteless easy-to-pop pills. Although far from a new concept,
Why would anyone want to eat their placenta?
placentophagia, or consumption of the placenta, has been used traditionally for thousands of years for its array of positive
There is no medical evidence to
postnatal effects. The anecdotal evidence
support or disprove the health benefits
suggests that consumption of the placenta
of placenta consumption. Since every
helps make the mental and physical
woman’s placenta, body and environment
adjustments to motherhood smoother,
is unique, the results remain anecdotal. “We know there’s no current research
believed to be resulting from the rich source of nutrients, hormones and other
but specialists around the world are
biochemical substances housed within the
excitedly awaiting the results of scientific
organ that once supported and nurtured
studies being undertaken right now”
your growing baby.
says Kirrah, who just received news of a lifetime membership with the Association
days. The internet abounds with recipes
are starting to do it, so it is becoming
of Placenta Preparations Arts.
for placenta lasagne or smoothies,
trendy. But I definitely believe word-
placenta tonics and balms and plenty
of-mouth from mother’s who have
placenta in any form can help new
of art and craft. Once sidelined into the
first hand experienced the improved
mothers maintain their hormone and iron
quirky category, the business of placenta
hormonal balance, energy levels and milk
levels in the few weeks after the birth,
encapsulation is now booming. Doula,
production after child birth are starting a
which can speed up healing, help curb
antenatal educator, placenta encapsulator
wave of interest and slowly removing the
fatigue, increase milk supply and reduce
and owner of Traditional Wisdom based
taboo that was previously associated with
anxiety.
in the Northern Rivers area of New South
it,” she says.
Wales Kirrah Holborn says two years ago
46
“There has certainly been an increase in popularity, perhaps because celebrities
People do a lot with placentas these
“We are very discreet and the client
The belief is that consuming the
The biggest draw card for most clients is the reported energy boost that
she would encapsulate 30 placentas a year,
is removed from the process and any
can come with consuming placenta, a
this year in January alone she met the
perceived unpleasantness but still get to
bonus for any new mum. Since fatigue
demand of 10 clients and close to 100 for
reap all the benefits of the nutrient and
can be a trigger for postnatal depression
the year.
hormone rich placenta.”
(PND), many clients, especially mums
Offspring | summer 2016 | sydney
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who suffered PND in the past feel it is a
difficult antenatal periods or the
proactive approach to limiting postnatal
birth of multiples are still viable. “I have encapsulated
depressive symptoms. This is not to suggest that placenta consumption is a
placentas from women who
cure or treatment for established mental
have had inductions, epidurals
health problems or should it replace any
and caesareans. Even those
medically-prescribed treatment but it
who experienced meconium or
may be one tool in helping to minimise
StrepB can still be encapsulated
the risk.
with some extra care,” she explains.
“There have been some studies in
“For those babies born
the past which have anecdotally shown improvement in milk production after
prematurely, depending on the
treatment with placenta, whether in
level of prematurity, the placenta
raw form or encapsulated in pill form,”
can still be used although the
Kirrah says. “It might sound zany, but think about it, your placenta basically functions as an organ in your body during your pregnancy, providing sustenance for your child in the womb and full of hormones. Once the placenta is delivered, your body’s supply is cut off, but all the hormones and nutrients remain in the placenta, which is often discarded.” Kirrah says personal experience has demonstrated mums undergoing caesareans are typically at risk of low milk supply but those consuming encapsulated placentas have been able to avoid this difficulty and also experience an increased rate of healing from the surgery.
HOW IS IT DONE? There are two key methods for encapsulating a placenta, the Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) and the Raw Method. The key difference is to forgo the steaming process in the Raw method resulting in a shelf life of 12 months.
The reported benefits include: • Increased energy • Increased milk supply • Increased healing • Mood stability • Higher iron levels
Many practitioners say they receive very little feedback about negative side effects associated with consuming placenta pills, however those that have include: • Over supply of milk leading to engorgement • High energy levels interfering with sleep • Digestive upset • Headaches
• And, in some cases, low mood or depression Just remember like any natural medicine each body and each placenta is different and dosage requirements may vary. Some bodies may not need the supplements found in the placenta. If you experience negative side effects, consult your practitioner.
amount of capsules will be less than a full term baby. Mums of premature babies often need extra support for their breast milk to come in and balancing their postpartum emotions so even if your doctor wants to culture the placenta, you can try to negotiate to have just a piece of the placenta taken to pathology so you can encapsulate the rest. “If all the placenta is sent to pathology for testing it is unlikely that it will still be
The average placenta yields about 160 capsules. The average cost of placenta encapsulation is $250-350. Many practitioners offer collection and delivery along with placenta prints and cord keepsakes.
The TCM method sees the placenta steamed, slowly dehydrated, ground to a
would recommend the TCM method
powder and then placed into capsules. The
for encapsulation as it is best suited to
capsules look like any other herbal capsule
long-term use to reduce postpartum
from a chemist. They have little smell or
depression, improve milk supply, or
taste.
replenish the body after birth. The
“This is not to say one method is better than the other, just that you have several options for encapsulation and should choose the method that best suits your needs and preferences,” says Cayla Scarborough, a student midwife and
capsules are believed to have no used by date if properly stored.”
Can any placenta be encapsulated? Cayla explains that most placentas
placenta encapsulation specialist based in
from straight forward pregnancies and
Perth, Western Australia.
births are suitable for encapsulation and
“For those who are undecided, I www.offspringmagazine.com.au
even those resulting from slightly more sydney | summer 2016 | Offspring
47
suitable as the preserving chemicals used on the placenta are not safe for ingestion.
Claire Armstrong (WA)
Testim onials
Although I embraced the concept of natural birth,
It is also not likely to be kept sterile or
I was slightly sceptical about trying placenta
treated as a food product.”
encapsulation and my family found the idea quite
Women are encouraged to discuss their
squeamish. But after researching the benefits and
wishes of encapsulation with their chosen
knowing that I would need all the help I could get
hospital and care givers prior to the birth
after the birth of our third child with my husband
to understand the policies and procedures
leaving to work overseas 12 days later, I thought it
and to ensure appropriate care and
couldn’t hurt to try.
handling of the organ after birth.
I followed the recommended dosages and felt
Are there regulations and qualifications? Understandably there are questions and uncertainty about the safety, governance and qualifications surrounding placenta encapsulation as there are no current regulations. So
energised, able to cope and had a very quick recovery from the induced and speedy birth. The only downside was I have always had great milk supply and did find myself slightly more engorged than previously but this did settle.
Holly Layland (NSW)
A friend recommended placenta
choose your practitioner wisely. Most
encapsulation to me and I’m so glad she
often placenta practitioners are also a
did. I went through postnatal depression
doula, midwife or operate in some form
after the birth of my first two babies
with pregnant and birthing mums. A good
but with number three I felt great. The
practitioner should have undertaken
capsules give me so much energy and I had
a specialist training course and follow
my iron tested the other day and my levels
the standards in blood-borne pathogen
are great for the first time in my adult life!
control and safe food handling with high
I would recommend it to anyone who is
quality equipment and strict sanitisation.
about to have a baby.
Is it just a passing trend? The internet abounds with recipes for placenta lasagne or smoothies, placenta tonics and balms and plenty of art and craft.
While the jury is still out if there are any scientifically measurable benefits from consuming encapsulated placenta and some claim it is only a passing trend, there are many convinced this practice will only continue to grow as practitioners report increased first time mums and private sector patients calling for the service. Midwives and antenatal classes are also beginning to educate clients about the services empowering others to take a proactive approach to their postnatal recovery. And although there maybe some DIY placenta encapsulation kits on the market, it is a job best left to the professionals.
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Offspring | summer 2016 | sydney
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Countdown to
co-parenting So you and your partner are having a baby - congratulations! In the flurry of all the decisions you need to make, ranging from baby’s names through to car seat restraints, there are a few other important things you and your partner need to think about he term co-parenting has been around a while and it refers before baby is born that to the extent to which you as parents support each other and work together to share joint responsibility in raising would be helpful to both your your child. This includes issues such as the sharing of caring for baby and your relationship. your baby (who is getting up at 5 am?), the extent to which each of
T
you will be engaged in the day-to-day organisation of your baby By Wendy Muller, Ngala Practice Consultant Educator
(organising the babysitter) and the division of household chores (who is cooking dinner and when?). When parents are able to coparent in an adaptable and flexible way, children blossom. Since both of you are unique, you will each have your own style of relating to your baby, and that is ok. However it’s the differences around parenting decisions that may cause problems. Everybody brings attitudes, values and behaviours into relationships from previous experiences and your family of origin (the environment in which you were raised). Some of these influences are conscious, but many are unconscious. Below are some questions and issues to discuss with each other to encourage the sharing of attitudes and behaviours, possibly changing and replacing them with attitudes and behaviours that work for your new family.
What are your memories of how you were parented as a child? Having this discussion will help you both develop an understanding of each other’s perspectives on child rearing, especially if they are very different from 50
Offspring | summer 2016 | sydney
your own, and jointly decide beforehand how you are going to raise your child. For example, if your partner was raised by very strict parents and your were not; or you slept in your own room from a young age but your partner slept in the same room as their parents, this may influence how you respond to your baby (eg. how quickly will we respond to our baby’s cries?); where your baby will sleep (eg. in their own room or in your room); and how you will guide your baby’s behaviour when they are a toddler (eg. when your toddler does not want to stay in their bed). Family of origin also influences how we learnt to communicate, express anger, show affection and manage conflict. This also relates to how you are going to create a shared meaning for your new family – for example, how you are going to celebrate birthdays.
What are your expectations of how life will be when baby arrives? Many parents seem to underestimate the sheer hard work a baby can be! Hormonal changes, the physical demands of childbirth and nursing, lack of sleep, an abrupt shift from the working world to being at home with an infant; lack of time to have a meaningful conversation with your partner; and changing roles and priorities – not to mention the fact that new parents often find it hard to fit in intimate time with each other. All this needs to be acknowledged as normal challenges facing many new parents.
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By discussing realistic expectations
l
Both of you need to invest
with each other, you can jointly
energy and time to strengthening
identify the support networks you have
the friendship aspect of your
and who you can ask to help once baby
relationship by building a strong
is born; and how active (or not) your
foundation of affection and
social life will be after baby is born.
fondness for your partner. Spend some time each day talking with
How are we going to resolve disagreements?
each other using open-ended
Parents who successfully resolve
time for this each day.
questions. Even after your baby has arrived, try and make some
disagreements have a number of
l
Be aware of what is going on
strategies in common. They are
in each other’s lives and respond
respectful of each other and have a
sensitively.
gentle approach; they focus on their
l
Problem-solve together and
own feelings rather than attacking their
view problems as something you
partner; and if they feel overwhelmed
and your partner have control of.
with feelings, they do not continue with
l
Develop connection rituals
the conversation until they have calmed
such as sit-down dinner time or
themselves down.
family fun time. This helps create a shared mutual daily purpose
Preparing your relationship for the arrival of your baby.
and family identity. l
Communication is key. Make a commitment to share
information about your baby – whether it is something you have
There are a number of strategies that will help strengthen your
read, or been told, or something you have observed once baby
relationship prior to and after baby has arrived:
has arrived.
the An American study by h, Healt National Institute for between has found kids aged 88% to up 1-4 years, are t by jus , wn dro to ly less like formal r, ula reg participating in m fro ns so les ng mi swim e. ag g a youn
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Offspring | summer 2016 | sydney
Learning to swim, is the greatest gift any parent can present their child… Learning to swim can help enhance a child’s concentration, co-ordination, behaviour, as well as social, emotional, scholastic and physical abilities; making them Safer, Smarter & Stronger, simply through swimming! It’s not just a life skill, it’s a skill for life! ‘Find your local Swim Australia
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www.offspringmagazine.com.au
By Brooke Evans-Butler
Christmas is near – but if you haven’t started your shopping, do not fear! Offspring has your gift ideas covered, for all budgets and for all members of the family.
Cheap and cheerful: Useful gifts Let’s face it – a small baby will not be expecting anything for Christmas, but the parents will be thankful for useful gifts.
My Christmas
list
for
baby newborn to 12 months
Clothes in larger sizes will be very handy (because we all know how fast a baby grows), and other gifts that will be used every day, including clothes, nappies, wipes, bibs and towels.
A special soft toy to be kept on the shelf will be enjoyed and played with when baby is older. Jemima Fairy Plush, $29.99, available from ABC Shop Online, shop.abc.net.au
resist these Shoes are a great gift at any age, and who could as.com.au .attip www leopard print beauties? $29.95 from
Mid-range: Toys Yes, they are only little, but baby’s
NOT A FAN OF LULLABIES?
need toys too! If you are looking for
Rockabye Baby are a range of CDs
something that a baby can use when they
with rock songs from bands such as
are little, look at wrist and ankle rattles,
AC/DC, Pearl Jam and Foo Fighters
teething toys, pram toys, musical mobiles
that are transformed into instrumental
or tummy time mats. But remember,
lullabies that the parents will
baby’s grow quickly, so consider buying
enjoy too! $29.95 each from www.
toys for their next age bracket (many toys
alittlebitofcheek.com.au/brands/ rockabye-baby/
are available for the 6 to 36 month age bracket). Even if they are put away in the cupboard at Christmas, they will be used and loved in a few short months.
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for
baby
Stocking stuffers:
teething toys, rattles, hat, sock, bath toys, bubble blowers, books, onesies, comforters
A personalised keepsake item is a very special gift for a baby to be treasured in years to come. Cophenhagen Baby Rattle, $150, www.ponyand pressed.com.au
Something more extravagant: Keepsakes A keepsake can be something affordable, such as a personalised Creating a baby’s handprint is a lovely way to make a keepsake for your baby’s first Christmas. Pearhead Babyprints Keepsake, $14.95 from Baby Bunting, www.babybunting.com.au
Christmas stocking or handprint mould – or consider something more extravagant that could become a heirloom, such as a piece of jewellery, handcrafted rocking horse or personalised toy box. Stocking stuffers: teething toys, rattles, hat, sock, bath toys, bubble blowers, books, onesies, comforters. Bright colours, friendly animals and things to reach! This activity gym is the perfect way to entertain and stimulate your baby! Skip Hop Treetop Activity Gym, $129 available from Baby Bunting, www.babybunting.com.au
What a perfectly themed comforter for the holidays! Label Label Holidays Girls Car, $24.95, available from www.robinsnest.com.au
BE PREPARED Be prepared for Christmas morning when the unwrapping of toys begins. We love these tips from VTech:
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•
Always check to see if batteries are included and have spare batteries handy just in case.
•
Open packaging and unwind twist ties, then put the toy back in the box before wrapping presents for small children.
•
Have a Phillips head screwdriver, pliers and a pair of scissors handy.
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Children will love this wonderfully funny book about the lady who swallowed a fly (suitable for 3 years plus). There Was An Old Lady Big Book, $43.99 www.child.com.au
for
toddler 1-3 years
Cheap and cheerful: Art supplies Art supplies are a wonderful gift for toddlers, children and tweens alike, but, as all parents know, toddlers love getting messy! It can also be a gift that is very
HOW MUCH
budget friendly, with some crayons,
Don’t know how many presents
colouring books and finger paints
you should be buying? It’s always
providing hours of entertainment. Play-
important to remember to make a
Doh (bought or homemade) is another
Christmas budget and stick to it,
great toddler activity – throw in some
but here’s a saying that’s doing the
biscuit cutters, toddler-friendly scissors
rounds in the lead-up to the mad
and small plastic rolling pin and they can
shopping season:
Something you want Something you need Something to wear Something to read For siblings you could also add:
Something to share.
create their own Play-Doh masterpieces.
Handmade and unique products from across the globe for Mum, baby and anywhere in between
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Part of the Twinkle Toes range from Skechers, the toes of these adorable shoes light-up when you walk. Skechers TT Shuffles – Splendorific, $89.95. Call 1800 655 154 for stockists.
Toddlers love dressing up – and if your child loves Jimmy Giggle, this is a great choice! Jimmy Giggle dress-up t-shirt, $21.99, available from ABC Shop Online, shop.abc.net.au
for
toddler 1-3 years
Mid-range: Role-play
Stocking stuffers:
Toddler’s love role-playing so why not stock up their dress-up box? There
ART crayons, bubble blowers, toddler-friendly snacks, balloons
are many amazing costumes available from most toy shops, but don’t forget the accessories, such as wigs, hats (police officer’s hat, firefighter hat, tiara or construction hard-hat) and costume jewellery, shoes and handbags. Don’t feel like you have to stick to one theme (for example princesses); Your little girl might want to be Elsa today but Darth Vader tomorrow. Remember toys that encourage role-playing too – a cash register and shopping trolley, toy clothes line or doll’s pram will all be role-play toys that boys and girls will love.
Choodie organic towelling beach robes are perfect for wrapping up in after a busy session at the pool, or a fun-filled day on the beach. www.choodie.com.au
Free Delivery ia Austral Wide!
Warp up in a beautiful Dusky Pink Choodie
Keep cool in nautical blue
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Looking for your child’s first trike? Suitable from 12 months to 3 years, this is a trike that will grow with your child, featuring a handy parental steering system. Eurotrike Ultima Plus Auto Steer, $169.99 from www.child.com.au
A toddler will have hours of entertainment at the beach with these buckets. Skip Hop Zoo Stack and Pour Buckets, set of 5, $19.95, available from David Jones, www.davidjones.com.au
Swim Fin (for ages 2 years and above) is a fun swim ming aid, endorsed by Olympic gold medallist, Libby Tricke tt.$44.95 from, www.swimfin.com.au
Something more extravagant: Play equipment Play equipment (whether a cubby house, covered sand pit, trampoline, bouncy castle, swing set or ride-on toy)
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will be something that will get the kids
imagination including a toy kitchen or tepee
outside and active and can be enjoyed for
will be a hit. Just remember big gifts such as
years to come (and with their siblings or
these are likely to require assembly that may
friends). If you are looking for something
take quite a while, so if you want it ready by
for the indoors, anything that encourages
Christmas morning, plan ahead.
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for
Books that are both fun and educational will always be a hit. Giggle and Hoot Learn to Tell the Time Book, $2.99 and Giggle and Hoot Learn to Add Up Book, $2.99, available from ABC Shop Online, shop.abc.net.au
child 4-8 years
This camera includes features such as photo editing tools voice recording and games – and is rugged enough to be handled by the kids. Vtech Kidizoom Twist Plus Digital Camera, $89.95 available from major department stores and independent toy retailers.
Cheap and cheerful: Educational toys/supplies Christmas holidays also means getting ready for the new school year, so educational supplies are always a very handy gift and can be very affordable (think drink bottles, lunchboxes and colouring pencils). They don’t have to be boring though; many school supplies will be available in your child’s favourite licenced character. There are also many educational toys, board games and apps (depending on your budget) that will
Whether they are pretending to drive a car or cook in the kitchen, role-playing is a fun way for toddlers and children to learn. Big Traffic Light Toy, $42.95 and Little Tikes Store N Go Kitchen $142.99 from www.toyuniverse.com.au
help with numeracy and literacy – and your child might be having so much fun that they don’t notice they are actually learning.
Brace for a scorcher this summer with our super-sized sun shelters
Organic Fingerprint Heart
One Foot Island Tee Pee $255 Children’s Backpack $29.95
Oval You Said It Pendant
Everlasting Touches Memories that last forever are a specialty of Little Silver Prints. An independently owned business that creates personalised jewellery and keepsakes featuring loved one’s fingerprints, hand/footprints or even handwritten messages. www.littlesilverprints.com.au One Foot Island Sun Tent $245
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Offspring | summer 2016 | sydney
get f $25% oenftion
Custom Fingerprint Cuff
Handprint Charms on a Cable Bracelet
um when yo g Offsprin e in z a mag
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This watch (suitable for children 4+ years) takes photos, shoots videos and plays games. Vtech Kidizoom Smart Watch $89.95 each from major department stores and independent toy retailers.
Mid-range: Gifts that move
Stocking stuffers: lunchbox, drink bottle, colouring books and crayons/ pencils, bath products, clothes
Ballerina and Me is a new child-sized doll that acts like a dance partner. The doll straps onto the child’s ankles and hands for them to dance with. $49.50 plus postage, www.ballerinaandmedoll.com.a u
Do you feel like you are constantly saying ‘play outside!’? Then a gift that
Who has a Star Wars fan in the house? Worlds Apart Star Wars R2D2 GoGlow Pal, is a 2-in-1 night light and cuddly character, $39.95 from Aldi and independents.
Something more extravagant: Extracurricular activities
gets them active might be the perfect way to get the kids a bit more active during the holidays. Scooters, skateboards and
Do the kids have enough toys?
bikes are obvious choices and can be quite affordable (or can be more of an
Encouraging them to learn an instrument
extravagant gift depending on the brand
or take up a sport can be the gift that keeps
and features you choose. Don’t forget options that encourage them to play with siblings and friends, such as a basketball hoop, soccer ball and goal posts/nets or table tennis table.
Gifts that are designed for parents and children to spend some time together are great choices for the holidays! This great gift can be built by parent and child together to facilitate some bonding time. BuildMe Fast, $36 from Father & Son www.fatherandson.net.au
giving, as they learn new skills and make new friends. Most likely, a new hobby will require new gear, so Christmas can be the perfect time to buy them that the guitar, football boots or jazz shoes.
Little Silver Prints
Unique fingerprint jewellery and keepsakes
Little www.offspringmagazine.com.au
Prints
Silver
www.littlesilverprints.com.au
info@littlesilverprints.com.au | 02 9191 7368
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for
tweens
Accessories are a great way for a tween to express their own style – and are affordable stocking fillers. Pavement Crystal Kitty Ears $9.95, Pavement Crystal Heart Locket $12.95, Pavement Flip Flops Surf $12.95 from , www.pavementbrands.com
9-12 years
Toiletries/cosmetics are always popular with tweens, Colour Theory Drop Dead Glamorous Lip Gloss Set, $12, available from most Amcal, Amcal Max and Guardian Pharmacies.
Cheap and cheerful: Books Books are great for children of any age, but get a tween hooked on a great series of books and they will have plenty of reading
Mid-range: Clothes
material for the holidays. Ask your local book store for recommendations – funny
Many tweens will be developing their
books by authors such as Andy Griffiths or Anh Do are good choices to get your
own sense of style, so Christmas is a
tween interested in reading. Don’t forget,
great excuse to buy some new outfits.
getting your tween to read doesn’t have
Want to encourage your tween or teen to read? HistoriCool is a magazine packed of fun and educational articles, cartoons, quizzes and comics. Subscribe from $25 at www.historicool.com.au.
to mean books – consider getting them comics or a magazine subscription to an age appropriate publication.
Don’t’ forget, accessories are great stocking stuffers, such as headbands and sunglasses. Otherwise, tweens will always love gift vouchers so they can get exactly what they want.
Swim Snap Ruffle Nappy $20
for fun and practical Christmas gifts Two-Piece Tankini with built in swim nappy $48
Swim and Sun
Clothing and accessories for swimming and out in the sun.
all-in-one reusable swim nappy no other nappy necessary!
reusable
waterproof
absorbent
wicking
UPF 50+
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Offspring | summer 2016 | sydney
Reversible Bucket Hat $24
Boardshort with built-in swim nappy $33
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Stocking stuffers: stationery, iTunes vouchers, movie tickets, toiletries, hair and body products.
Something more extravagant: Electronics Most tweens probably have a phone or iPad/tablet on their Christmas list (actually, your younger child and toddler are probably asking for them too), and, let’s face it, a tablet can be a great gift to keep the kids entertained, and you can Art supplies will be enjoyed by children of all ages, including tweens. Scented Coloured Pencils 12 pack, $14.95, Carry Me Activity Book Set , $14.95 from Smiggle, www.smiggle.com.au
download some great educational apps for the kids too (iTunes gift cards are great stocking stuffers for these gifts). Remember to factor a sturdy protective tablet case into your Christmas budget. A camera is also a great idea for a tween so they can document their holidays (and also learn that photographs are not always taken with a smart phone). Depending
A fun money box is a great stocking stuffer. Basketball Money Box, $29.95 from Smiggle, www.smiggle.com.au
on the age (and responsibility) of your child, there are various cameras available specifically designed for children, which are designed to be sturdy in case the camera is dropped or bumped.
Australian Made Organic Children’s clothing sizes 000-6 & Australian Made Toys
tton
Adventure Awaits Organic Cotton Onesie $28
Australian made clothing from organic cotton
ys
+ Australian made to
www.waltandmatilda.com.au www.offspringmagazine.com.au
Charcaol Boys Organic Shorts $34
Puple & Aqua Twirl Organic Cotton Dress $42
Check out our summer 2016 range at www.waltandmatilda.com.au sydney | summer 2016 | Offspring
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any
age
Travel Goods Many families travel during the Christmas holidays – and whether you stay local for a short camping trip or go away on an overseas adventure, everyone (from the baby to the parents) will be in need of travelling gear. Travel gifts can also be found to suit any budget. For affordable gifts or stocking stuffers, handy luggage tags and travel toiletries are good choices. Small travel games (did someone say ‘car bingo?’) can be lots of fun or if you are looking for more extravagant gifts – quality luggage, vouchers for experiences to be enjoyed at the destination or car DVD players to make long road trips a bit more peaceful are all thoughtful ideas.
Wall Art for little people Whimsical Tree Decal $165
Triangle Wall Decals $40
Confetti Wall Sticker Dots $50
Gold Polka Dot Wall Stickers $40
Classic Balloon Decals $50
Shop online for nursery wall art and kids décor
Nursery Tree Decal $145
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Swimming/beach gear It is summer after all, so there are so many swimming and beach inspired gifts for everyone in the family. Everyone needs swimwear and towels – but some other ideas that might inspire include: a packet of swim nappies for baby, bucket and spade for toddler, pool games for children and a waterproof camera for the tweens.
Books Books are always a wonderful gift and will be enjoyed by everyone (from the baby to the Mums and Dads). Ask your local book store for popular titles for each age group. Additionally, something you might be surprised to see on your book store’s top selling list is ‘colouring books for adults’. Adult colouring books are growing in popularity as a way to relax and destress, so if a teen or parent is not a big reader, why not buy an adult colouring book and some pencils for them to try out over the holidays.
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NOTE For your child’s safety take note when you purchase any gift, toy or product about the recommended age bracket the toy is intended for. A toy labelled as for children 3 years + might have small pieces that could be a choking hazard for babies, for example. Prices and availability of products are subject to change. Prices listed for products available online may not include postage – please go to each individual website/store for current pricing and availability. Many prices listed are the recommended retail price.
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Mid-range: Family fun There are so many gift ideas that can add some fun to lazy afternoons for the whole family. A picnic basket/hamper to
for the
take down to the beach (throw in a Frisbee,
family
volleyball or cricket set and you have instant Boxing Day entertainment) , new game for a gaming console or for those hot summer A personalised Christmas stocking is a lovely gift for every member of the family. $24.95, from, wwww.uniquebabyboutique.com.au
days, why not look into a family-sized portable pool, slip and slide or the humble but always-fun water balloons.
Cheap and cheerful: Traditions A ‘Christmas Eve’ box or hamper can be a lovely tradition for your family or as a gift, and can be as extravagant or budget-friendly as you wish. Think a Christmas themed movie or story book, board games or deck of cards, hot chocolate and marshmallows and popcorn. If you have some more to spend, why not add in new pyjamas for everyone in the family, or even a cheeky bottle of wine for the parents to enjoy after the kids have gone to sleep.
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Putting together a collection of treats, DVDs or books to enjoy with your family on Christmas Eve is a popular idea – so make the tradition extra special with this beautiful Personalised Christmas Eve Box (personalised with your name). $65 plus $15 shipping or pick up in Perth, Western Australia. Available from Miss Bold Design, www.missbolddesign.com.au/ shop/christmas/personalised-christmas-eve-box/
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If you are planning a trip away for the holidays, be sure you have a quality camera to capture every memory. Canon EOS MS, $874.47, www.canon.com.au
Something more extravagant: Experiences What better gift is there than time with the family? Experiences are great gifts for families to do together (or just Mum and Dad on a kid-free day) because instead material things that create clutter
To capture every family selfie….3SIXT Snap Stick, $34.95 from Officeworks, Newslink, Optus or Telstra stores.
Howzat’ for a useful and fun gift? This cooler will not only keep your drinks cool, but doubles up as stumps so you can play some backyard cricket. Cricket Cooler (RRP $89.95 + shipping) from RedBalloon, www.redballoon.com.au
or possibly break, th0ey create memories. Great options for the family to do together include family-friendly shows or concerts, movie tickets or passes to the zoo or aquarium.
What better way to connect with the family then to turn off the TV and have a board game night. Teach the kids some old favourites from your childhood (remember trying to use up all your tiles in Rummikub ($34.95)? Or check out the wide range of new games to choose from, or twists on old classics. Googly Eyes ($30) is sure to be a hit with the kids. Someone draws a picture and the other player has to guess what the picture is – but the twist is the person drawing the picture has to wear vision-altering glasses.
Handmade and unique products from across the globe for Mum, baby and anywhere in between
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special feature
By Brooke Evan s-Butler
Avoid the cries of ‘I’m bored!’ these school holidays. There are so many wonderful events and activities around Sydney. We’ve done all the hard working searching for ideas – so all you have to do is pack the sunscreen and hat for your kids and decide what you want to tick off the list first.
SEASONAL EVENTS
T l
If you love Christmas lights, remember there are many
l
here are many opportunities to celebrate over the summer
individuals who go to great effort to deck out their homes with
school holiday period. Check out these family-friendly options:
Christmas lights for neighbours and friends to enjoy. Check out
Christmas decorations and lights – Christmas wouldn’t be
the Christmas Light Search website to find participating homes in
Christmas without going to see all of the fantastic decorations and light displays. The Martin Place Christmas Tree is worth a look – you
your local area. Go to www.christmaslightsearch.com.au If you have little (or big) Lego fans in your house, make sure
l
can send text messages up its branches or change the colour of the
you take them to see a Christmas tree built entirely from Lego
LED lights with a touch pad kiosk.
outside Westfield Sydney in Pit Street Mall. It stands about 10
l
For the tech-savvy, there is a new smartphone app that allows
colours of the Christmas lights on Pitt Street simply by blowing into the screens of your phone. It’s free to download from
metres tall – talk about impressive! Clause, Love Actually, Frozen and The Muppet Christmas Carol. l
Carols in the Domain: It is a much-loved Christmas event,
Google Play or the AppStore – simply search ‘Light Forest’.
so why not take the family to do some star-spotting and enjoy the
Go to www.sydneychristmas.com.au for details.
carols at The Domain Royal Botanic Gardens. Woolworths Carols in the Domain will be held on the 20th of December. www.carolsinthedomain.com l
Santa Fest There will be various events held around Darling
Harbour during December for ‘Santa Fest’, including ‘Santa Movie Nights’ – free outdoor movie screenings of family favourite Christmas movies every Friday and Saturday. l
Get a Santa Paddle Boat from the Darling Harbour Marina
and get a close look at the ‘Santas on the Bay’ – five-metre tall inflatable Santas that glow in the dark. l
Harbourside fireworks will run from 9pm on the 6th, 13th and
20th of December above Cockle Bay, with a special fireworks show on Christmas Eve. For more information go to www.darlingharbour.com
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special feature Sydney Tower Eye – There is more to see
l
there is sure to be something that will appeal, with more than 50
at Sydney Tower Eye than the view this festive
activities on offer. Many activities are free or low cost. For more
season. Take the kids to meet Santa, get a free
information go to www.kidsinthepark.com.au
gift and a photo with the big man in red. For details, visit www.sydneytowereye.com.au Get a good vantage point and enjoy the
l
New Year’s Eve fireworks.
l
Sydney Aquarium : Go to SEA LIFE Sydney Aquarium and
check out ‘Art Aquarium’, a new interactive experience to help inspire and educate children about the importance of sustainable seas. The kids can draw their own undersea creature and add their artwork to a digital underwater world. Go to www.sydneyaquarium.com.au for details. l
Illawarra Fly : Drive to Illawarra Fly to experience the new
Illawarra Fly Zipline Adventure and enjoy the view as you go on Australia’s highest zipline. For more information visit www.illawarrafly.com.au
EDUCATIONAL EXPERIENCES
T
hink like a school teacher and take your kids to places that are fun, interesting and
educational. Such as: l
Powerhouse Museum : Take the kids to the
Powerhouse Museum these holidays to enjoy the Circus Factory. See live performances and exhibits, enjoy a carousel ride and see amazing costumes. The exhibit is running from December 2014 until May 2015. Go to www.powerhousemuseum.com l
Sydney Olympic Park : ‘Kids in the Park’ is an
exciting season of school holiday activities at Sydney Olympic Park from the 20th of December until the 26th of January. Whatever your child is interested in,
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special feature
l
Circular Quay
Go see a show : Book a ticket to a show that the
kids will love! Mister Maker is performing (at the
Be a tourist in your own
Playhouse) from the 19th of January to the 26th of
l
January. For ticketing information and details
backyard! Get the kids a
go to www.sydneyoperahouse.com
disposable camera and visit
l
The zoo : If your kids love animals, a trip to
the landmarks – enjoy the
the zoo is a great idea: l
views of the Harbour Bridge
At Taronga Zoo, there will be displays of
and walk up the steps of the
full-sized dinosaurs, which are sure to delight (or
Opera House. Visit the beautiful Royal
frighten) the kids. Download the interactive app to
l
Botanic Gardens.
learn even more about the prehistoric creatures. The dinosaurs will be on display until the 1st of
l
l
At WILD LIFE Sydney zoo the kids will love
the new ‘Flight Experience’ (opening summer 2015) – a self-propelled life through the aviary, which even takes you above Rex, the zoo’s five-metre crocodile. www.WILD-LIFE.com.au
TOURISM HOTSPOTS
Y
ou don’t have to be a tourist to enjoy the tourism hotspots of Sydney during the school holidays. If you haven’t been
recently, these great places make for a fun family day out:
68
Offspring | summer 2016 | sydney
Walk to The Rocks and
treat the kids to a milkshake at
February 2015. www.taronga.org.au
one of the cafes. l
Visit the Museum of Contemporary Art.
Manly l
Enjoy the water! Have a swim at Manly Cove Beach, hire a
kayak or learn how to surf. l
Go to the Manly Fair Trade Christmas Markets (December the
1st to December the 31st) for a great range of food and drinks and enjoy the entertainment.
www.offspringmagazine.com.au
l
Sanctuary. Go on a new behind-
l
Blaxland Riverside Park.
the-scenes tour, which includes
l
educational and fun experiences
l
including feeding the fish, meeting
l
Wet ’n’ Wild Sydney. Sydney Olympic Park Aquatic Centre. Darling Quarter Playground. James Ruse Reserve Water Playground.
some of the babies bred at the
Prince Alfred Park Pool.
sanctuary and see the Shark Dive
l
Xtreme backstage area. l
PARKS/PLAYGROUNDS
If you have an Octonauts fan,
the Octonauts will be at Manly SEA
D
on’t forget the appeal of a well-
LIFE Santuary from the 20th of
equipped park! Pack sunscreen, a
December until the 26th of January.
hat and a water bottle and let the kids
As well as meet-and-greets, there will be Octonauts themed activities for the kids to enjoy. For times and details go to www.manlysealifesanctuary.com.au l
Enjoy the family-friendly celebrations for New Year’s Eve at
Manly Cove.
somewhere to enjoy some fun in the water. Some popular places
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l
Blaxland Riverside Park.
l
Livvi’s Place.
l
Bicentennial Park Playground.
l
Darling Quarter Playground.
D
on’t forget there are many things you can do with the kids
t is summer after all, so cool the kids down by taking them
for water play around Sydney include:
burn off some energy with their friends. Try these great playgrounds:
AROUND THE HOUSE
WATER FUN
I
special feature
Visit Manly SEA LIFE
l
without leaving the house.
l
Have an indoor picnic (perfect for those scorching hot days
when you don’t want to leave air-conditioned comfort).
Aurora Contempo 4 in 1 Cot and Dresser
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sydney | summer 2016 | Offspring
69
special feature
TIP l
Get the kids to decorate an empty tissue box. Write on pieces of paper various activities. This could include everything from playing a board game, reading a book, Skyping or calling a friend or watching a movie, to a chore like cleaning their room or washing the car. This tissue box then becomes the ‘I’m bored box’. If the kids say they don’t have anything to do, get them to choose a piece of paper from the box with a suggestion that they have to complete.
Make a temporary cubby out of pillows,
cushions or sheets. l
Have a movie night (put sleeping bags in front
of the television and cook microwave popcorn and hot chocolate). l
Make your own Christmas wrapping paper (get a
large roll of craft paper, put it on the floor and paint your child’s hands and feet with brightly coloured poster paint so they can make their own personalised hand- and foot-print covered paper). l
Make your own Playdoh.
l
Put together an ‘art box’ with coloured paper, crayons and
pencils, glue, googly eyes, pipe cleaners and glitter so the kids
Invite a friend over for a play date.
l
Have a competition with your child on their
gaming console (Wii, Nintendo etc).
have art supplies on-hand whenever they want to create something. l
l
Get in the kitchen! Get the kids to help make cupcakes,
decorate biscuits or for the festive season – make and decorate
l
Play dress-ups.
l
Put on some of your child’s favourite
music and dance with them.
a gingerbread house. Or for a healthy option, get them to help
l
Try to learn how to juggle together.
make a fruit or vegetable platter (fussy kids might even eat
l
Make paper aeroplanes and see who has the one that
something that is good for them during the preparation). l
Hide a few toys in the sandpit and send your kids on a
‘treasure hunt’. l
Build something with Lego or blocks together.
can fly the furthest. l
Make some puppets and then put on a puppet show.
* Events may be subject to change. Go to relevant websites or contact event organisers/businesses to check times, booking details and costs involved.
Ages 3 - 8 Years Old
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30/09/2015 19:13
Parents Babies Forum PARENTING
C
hristmas is just around the corner! It comes with a variety of sights, smells, sounds, and social
interactions that can be pleasant to some and overstimulating for others. Believe it or not, Christmas is on the list as one of life’s stressful events. Some families are under enormous financial pressure trying to keep up with expectations and others experience sadness and stress from estranged family members and ones they simply cannot get on with. Not only adults experience stress. For the first few years, children learn about the world through their senses. It may be exciting for your baby or toddler to see all these bright colours, loud music with carols blaring and the hustle and bustle of crowded shopping centres for a short time. However, be mindful that they may be overstimulated and have a sensory overload. What is sensory overload? We all take in information about our internal and external environments through our senses such as sight, touch, smell, hearing, taste, balance and movement. Sensory overload or sensory overstimulation occurs when the brain is bombarded with too much information from the senses and is unable to process or
By Kim Johnson, Ngala Parenting Researcher and Consultant
understand the information. Just think of the Royal Show with the smell of farm animals and food; sounds
Taking steps to minimise sensory overload for your family at Christmas.
of other screaming children, amusement rides, and buzzers from games, car engines revving; touch stimuli from bumping into people within a crowd; the visual input of fast-paced movement including blinking lights, fast moving rides, people and cars. As can be seen from this example, there is a lot of sensory information bombarding the brain and for some children this may lead to sensory overload. These children may throw a tantrum, cry and cling to their parent, become quiet or have difficulty sleeping. What can parents do? Shopping
• If you take your child on Christmas
shopping trips, limit the amount of time you are out and consider taking the stroller. Although you may think children have more energy than you, they really do tire quickly from walking around a shopping precinct. Offspring | summer 2016 | sydney 72 Offspring spring 2012
ad Sensory overlo stimulation or sensory over e brain is occurs when th too much bombarded with the senses information from unable to and the brain is rstand process or unde the information.
each other on the day.
• Discuss with your relatives (especially if they are the host
overwhelming for young children.
of the Christmas Day celebrations) your baby/child’s routine
• Have regular quiet breaks away from the crowd; find a corner
and care.
in the shopping centre where it is quieter and calmer to give
• If your child/baby needs a break, intervene and let your
your baby/toddler some quiet time with you.
relatives know.
• Swinging and rocking are beneficial for organising the senses,
• Take rests or ‘time out’ with your child to reorganise their
so quiet time can include those activities as well.
senses. Put words to how they are feeling if they are
Family gatherings Big get-togethers are part and parcel of Christmas - but some relatives can be pushy or talk non-stop. An adult may find that difficult, just imagine what it does to a baby or child when numerous people want to hold, kiss, pinch their cheeks or simply not notice when they have had enough. Familiarise your child with relatives they
PARENTING Family Life
• Also, consider going out early in the day, before the shops get busy and crowded. Being in a noisy, crowded, space can be very
overwhelmed. Be warm and reassuring.
The rush and a fall of sugar in cause child’s diet can nergy both bursts of e the and fatigue as sugar wears off
and other regular activities as stable as possible. These routines provide stability and certainty in the life of the child and help keep them feeling safe and secure.
• Avoid extra snacks, cakes and chocolates.
The rush and fall of sugar in a child’s diet can cause both bursts of energy and fatigue as the sugar wears off. These highs and lows can lead to
seldom see prior to the family get-together by
behaviour difficulties. If you want to give your child
playing a memory game with photos so when your
a treat, limit the size and consider offering it as a special
child meets an unfamiliar relative they are more comfortable around them; or prepare your toddler about what to expect on
• Keep your child’s bedtime, naptime, mealtimes
dessert after an appropriate meal. Remember Christmas is also a time for you to get some rest
the day by talking to them about the day and reassure them that Mummy and Daddy will help if they find it too hard.
and relaxation. If tensions within the family are getting to you,
Christmas Day
practice deep breathing and relaxation and reorganise your
• You and your partner or another family member should try
own senses.
to sit down before Christmas day to work out ways to support
Have a Happy Christmas!
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sydney | summer 2016 | Offspring 73 Offspring | spring 2012 73
By Rebecca Teaupa,
www.thelittlereadingroom.com.au
Book REVIEW 0-3 years
Being Agatha | Anna Pignataro
Agatha doesn’t quite fit in with her family and when she starts school she realises she is a little different from everyone there too. The soft illustrations depict Agatha’s internal struggle as she compares herself to other children, something that will be all too familiar to younger readers. Agatha’s teacher and friends, however, highlight Agatha’s special qualities; the most important being that she is the best at being Agatha. Being Agatha sends an important message about individuality and self-worth, in a child-friendly, gentle manner.
Too Busy Sleeping | Zanni Louise & Anna Pignataro Eleanor’s wants to play with her new brother Reuben, but he is too busy sleeping. After waiting all day for him, Reuben finally wakes during Eleanor’s story time. Rather than being irritated, a series of watercolour vignettes show Eleanor heartwarmingly fawning over Reuben. When it eventually comes time for Eleanor’s story, however, she is the one too busy sleeping. Too Busy Sleeping is different from many in its genre, as jealousy towards a new sibling is absent and replaced with pure curiosity and excitement.
3-6 years
Imaginary Fred | Eoin Colfer and Oliver Jeffers
Fred and Sam do everything together, until Sam meets a new friend and Fred feels himself disappearing. Humans and objects appear as black and white line drawings, whilst Fred is represented as a blue, transparent figure. When Sam introduces Fred to his new friend Sammi, Fred is surprised to see that Sammi comes along with an imaginary friend of her own. Fred meets Frieda, in her vibrant yellow, and begins to realise that perhaps his dream for eternal friendship isn’t over yet. Imaginary Fred represents the wonder and innocence of children in the form of an imaginary friend, because ‘friendship is friendship, imaginary or not’.
Counting Lions | Katie Cotton and Stephen Walton Count the number of animals on each page from one to ten. Counting Lions is an unforgettable book from wildlife campaigner, Virginia McKenna, highlighting species threatened by extinction. The lyrical text portrays the animals on their daily quest to survive. They battle the elements and tirelessly raise their young, tenderly reminding readers that they are not so different from us. The charcoal drawings are so realistic that it appears as if you could almost reach out and touch them. Counting Lions is both visually stunning and a poignant reminder about animal conservation.
74
Offspring | summer 2016 | sydney
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6-9 years
9-12 years
for adults
A Friend and A Pet The Cleo Stories
Shadows of The Master: Star of Deltora Book 1
The Very Hungover Caterpillar | Josie Lloyd,
Libby Gleeson & Freya Blackwood
Emily Rodda
Emlyn Rees & Gillian Johnson
Two delightful stories about a girl named Cleo and her search for a friend and a pet. Themes of friendship are explored in A Friend, as Cleo imagines she has a friend in the mirror to cure her boredom and A Pet explores themes of desire and creativity, as Cleo, resourcefully finds an ingenious solution for a pet, after her parent’s decline her request for one. The simple text and stunning accompanying illustrations make A Friend and A Pet the perfect first chapter book for young readers.
Britta had always wanted to be a trader and when she is sponsored as a candidate in the Rosalyn Trust, she thinks the Star of Deltora could be hers. In the fictional world of Deltora, folklore speaks of mysterious islands and magical shadows. The text flows effortlessly, even when comprised of intriguing characters, detailed descriptions and flashbacks. Images of weathered letters and book excerpts are also included to add to book’s sense of secrecy, mystery and adventure. Shadows of The Master will have readers captivated from beginning to end.
The children discover a very hungover caterpillar lying on the sofa. The comical illustrations depict a family watching on in horror as their father binges on various food items, with no reprieve from his symptoms. The father is seen crawling into bed under the covers to sleep, before emerging brighter and happier, in a comical comparison to a butterfly emerging from a cocoon and a clever nod to the book it is parodying. The Very Hungover Caterpillar is recommended for adults and is a hilarious gift for dads and expectant dads.
Coco Banjo Has Been Unfriended | N.J. Gemmell
The 65-Storey Treehouse
Where the Wild Mums Are
Andy Griffiths & Terry Denton
Katie Blackburn & Sholto Walker
Students are asked to select roommates on a school trip and Coco is surprised when her best friend doesn’t choose her. Whilst the themes around friendship are relatable to young readers, Coco’s nail spa and cinema pod are what extravagant dreams are made of. Coco dreams of being Prime Minister, but more importantly, places an emphasis on being a kind ‘heart-lifter’, making her a great role model for younger readers, who will enjoy every minute with Coco Banjo and no doubt be mimicking her ‘cocolicious’ lingo.
Andy discovers that Terry has not updated the treehouse building permit and Inspector Bubblewrap declares that the treehouse must be demolished. Andy Griffith’s writing is ingenious, with references to the Great Sphinx of Giza and H.G Wells and Terry Denton’s illustrations only add to the hilarity and absurdity, with a graphical representation of Jill’s year with the ants, Treehouse News Network updates on each page and many more. Readers will love this installment of the Treehouse series, with its fast-paced text and continuous comedy.
One day Mum told Dad she was going on strike and he called her a ‘Wild Thing’. In this hilarious parody of the classic book, Where the Wild Things Are, Mum takes a bath and imagines herself on an island inhabited by Wild Mums. The hilarious illustrations depict Mum, dancing in her dressing gown and fluffy slippers, with a wine glass balancing on her head. Where the Wild Mums Are is recommended for adults and is a hilarious reminder to all mums to take a welldeserved break every now and then.
www.offspringmagazine.com.au
sydney | summer 2016 | Offspring
75
A big change By Brooke Evans-Butler
Can they take off and put on their own shoes and socks?
Starting school is a big step for your child. Help them be ‘school ready’ before their first day.
Sometimes, depending on the activity, your child may need to take off their shoes and it would take a very long time for a teacher to help 30 students put their shoes back on if they all had trouble doing this. Practice makes perfect –but there are also things you can do to make this task easier.
S
Good hygiene – If you always help your child wash their
routine and having so much to learn can be overwhelming.
independently (because after all, you will not be there at
So, before their first day, use the school holidays to help them with
school to do these things for them). Remember to pack a
the skills they need to have an easier transition to school life:
spare uniform or change of clothes and underwear in their
tarting school is a big milestone – and for a young child,
hands, clean up after the toilet and wipe their nose, try to
suddenly going into a new environment with a different
take a step back and help them learn to do these things
bag in case they need to change at school (toileting accidents Can they open their lunchbox? Unwrap their sandwich?
or drink spillages happen to many kids, so it is best to be
Open and close their drink bottle without spilling water
prepared).
everywhere? If your child is used to being served lunch on a plate at day care or at home, using a lunchbox can sometimes be a challenge. In the weeks leading up to starting school, serve your child’s lunch in their lunchbox so they can get used to unpacking their lunch independently. Slowly introducing a ‘recess/play lunch’ and then the lunchtime meal at the times the school schedules lunchtime is also a good idea. 76
Offspring | summer 2016 | sydney
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First day checklist School uniform Hat Sunscreen Lunchbox School bag Water bottle Spare change of clothes Tissues Camera
tip:
Depending on ho w strict the school’s uniform policy is, ankle socks are ea sier to put on then high-cut socks. Velcro shoes are also an easier option than lace ups (and also preven t tripping up on untied shoela ces).
The organised parent
Being organised can make the transition much smoother: Label everything. Label everything from hats and socks to their uniform and lunchbox. Possessions will get lost or mixed up, so ensuring everything has a name on it will increase the chance of lost items finding their way back to the rightful owner. You can order personalised ironon labels or you can write directly onto the items using a suitable marker (Artline 750 Marker for Laundry is a good
tip:
ol’s If your child’s scho ifies ec uniform policy sp ol bag, they have a scho is means remember that th g to look everyone’s is goin g a fun the same. Addin make your luggage tag will identifiable. child’s bag easily
one because it is specifically to label clothes and the writing doesn’t run or smudge in the wash). Waterproof labels are also available to label lunchboxes and drink bottles. Note: Ensuring your child can recognise their name before they start school is a good skill for them to have to help them identify their belongings. Record memories. Your child will only have one ‘first day’, so if possible try to factor in some extra time to take photographs and write down any funny or memorable things your child says so you can record them in a keepsake. A ‘school years’ book or folder is a great way to record information for each year, such as your child’s teacher’s name, the names of your child’s friends, merit certificates and special excursions and assemblies. Work out an art storage system. From day one, your child will come home with mountains of artwork, so organise a system early on. Some parents might display a piece on the fridge and then keep a select few for a memory book or scrapbook folder. Another option is to scan artwork, so you can keep them all without having to keep the ever-growing pile of paper. www.offspringmagazine.com.au
sydney | summer 2016 | Offspring
77
tip:
A CALM CHILD
If your child is nervous, there are some steps you can take to reassure them even before they go off to their first day: Do a practice run. Before the first day, get your child dressed in their uniform, pack their lunchbox and bag and drive to the school. This will allow your child to get a feel for the routine before the first day (and will also give you an idea of how long it is likely to take you to get out of the house).
might starts school, they When your child es around, so and bug that go catch every cold they are you can to ensure ng hi yt er ev g in do ing to keep long way to help healthy can go a eals and oviding healthy m Pr y. ba at gs bu the sleep can t a good night’s ensuring they ge e some ditionally, there ar Ad s. ep st od go be to help market that claim products on the ch as Inner ency of colds, su qu fre e th ce du re k your GP oster for Kids. As Health Immune Bo tions. for recommenda or health provider
Do you already know any children that will be going to the same school as your child? Knowing that they will see a familiar face on their first day can be reassuring. A great idea is to organise a class playdate (such as simply meeting at the park) within the first couple of weeks of school starting. This is a good way for your child to get to know some new friends and for you to meet some of the parents. Your child might cry and be upset when you go to leave, and this can be heartbreaking. If your child is suffering some separation anxiety, ask your child’s teacher for some ideas and strategies. Keeping goodbyes short and reminding them that you will be back to pick them up are some effective strategies.
AN BOOK THE AD IN AND RE FEATU E FREE V I RECE RIAL! EDITO
78
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FOOD & NUTRITION
Enjoy summer, Share Platters
in moderation Christmas and the summer holidays are a great time of fun, inclusive of lots of delicious food, but moderation is key to enjoying a happy and healthful festive period.
Perfect for holiday lunches, snacks, dinners or any get together Vegetables • Carrot, celery, cucumber, capsicum, snow peas, tomato, mushrooms, broccoli, steamed corn, roast potato etc. Fruit • Watermelon, stone fruit, bananas, kiwi fruit, strawberries, pineapple, grapes etc. Grain foods • Cold cooked pasta, pitta bread, wholegrain crackers, dry cereal, fresh popcorn Protein foods • Grilled fish, boiled eggs, grilled/steamed chicken,
cold roast meats, meat balls Dairy and alternatives • Cheese, tofu, frozen yoghurt blocks, mini frittatas
By KATE BULLEN
M
y nine year old daughter came home this week and asked for some help with her spelling homework – antonyms were the task. So as we talked through
antonyms for words such as natural (abnormal was the antonym
Avoid • Sugary drinks such as cordial, juice, soft drink
we came up with) and it made me think about Christmas time and
• Lollies
‘moderation’ to which I think the antonym would be ‘excessive’.
• Packaged and processed food such as biscuits, crisps, cakes, ice cream, sausages, chocolate
the summer holidays that are just around the corner. The one word that I try to live by during this busy season is When it comes to healthy eating I try not to live by too many rules, but ‘everything in moderation’ is certainly my motto. So I thought I would explore this motto further. sydney | summer 2016 | Offspring
79
FOOD & NUTRITION
Salmon Fishcakes (Serves 4) Ingredients: l
400g salmon, no skin
l
2 x potatoes
l
1-2 tablespoons of curry paste eg:
green curry paste
l
1 x sweet potato
l
Breadcrumbs
l
2 tablespoons light coconut milk
l
Olive oil
l
Chopped fresh herbs such as
l
Salad to serve
chives or coriander
Method: 1. Peel potato and sweet potato and cut in chunks. Steam for 12-15 minutes, or until softened. Allow to cool. Mash.
2. Chop salmon into small cubes. It doesn’t have to be really small as it cooks quickly. 3. Add salmon to potato mix with coconut milk.
What is moderation? I describe moderation as making sure the five food groups (vegetables, fruits, grains, protein foods and dairy/alternatives) make up the vast majority of our diet. And within each of these food groups make a note to check the quality of food that you are eating. Are there improvements that could be
4. Add fresh herbs and curry paste and mix fishcake mixture. (I usually split the mixture into two and leave the curry paste out of one portion for the kids) 5. Roll approximately ¼ cup of mixture in breadcrumbs, cover and
refrigerate until needed.
6. Pre-heat frypan or BBQ with minimal amount of olive oil. Grill on each side for 3-4 minutes or until browned.
7. Enjoy with plenty of salad
made? Instead of the muesli bars that you have been buying for snacks, could you instead make a big batch of your own trail mix?
Plan ahead Planning ahead is important. If you are catching up with friends for a BBQ, plan to have a smaller lunch than usual or the day after you might have smaller portions to balance it all out. Even getting your lunch ready in the morning when you have your breakfast (much like packing a school lunch) means that your next meal is ready to go and you are much less likely to choose food that is not
for fun and practical Christmas gifts
such a good choice. My best days are when my meals are prepped early to eat. I love serving up food on platters for children and adults. Platters are perfect for lunches, snacks, dinners or any get together. Children love making their own choices, so including lots of good choices on a platter supports this.
How hungry are you? This is a key point – take time to notice if you are truly hungry. Recently my six year old and three year old only ate half of the piece of birthday cake that was given to them. Rather than telling
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them they needed to finish it first (which I often overhear at birthday parties) I said that we could put the cake away for later if they felt like it. Children have
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Offspring | summer 2016 | sydney
an innate sense of knowing when they have had enough to eat. We adults could learn from them!
Travelling Trail Mix Mix together some sunflower seeds, pepitas, dried apricots (or dried fruit of your choice), pretzels and nuts. Portion out into snack size zip lock bags.
down is a luxury – but it is important) put a bite of food into your mouth, put down your cutlery, chew slowly and take a big breath when you have finished that mouthful. Notice the smell, taste and texture of food. Yes this will take longer, but there is great research now showing the importance of mindfulness in our eating. And this strategy can be used with others around, simply by taking a
“There are many health benefits to eating fish – even for children, including improvements in academic performance, and improved blood levels.”
FOOD & NUTRITION
As adults we can practice mindfulness with our eating by eating a bit slower. Next time you sit down to eat (I know – sitting
small break in between mouthfuls.
Water – the best choice
us full thanks to the good omega-3 fats that it contains. Only 20 per cent of Australian households eat the recommended two serves
Sugary drinks such as juice, cordial,
of fish per week, with cost being
soft drink, sports drinks are best
the main reason why people
avoided. They offer no nutrition
don’t eat fish. There are many
at all – instead choose a water
health benefits to eating fish
or sparkling water to keep
– even for children, including
you well hydrated over the
improvements in academic
summer months
performance, and improved blood levels. And don’t forget that tinned fish is a great
Fish food
option and easy to keep in
Try to include some fish and/or
the pantry.
seafood a couple of times a week –
And finally, enjoy the
a great lean protein food to include
Christmas and holiday
over the summer months that keeps
period!
TIPS FOR SCHOOL READINESS 1. Social and Emotional Model how to make new friends, share and care for others, explaining to your child how and why you do what you do; these skills can be explicitly taught. 2. Independence and Personal Responsibility Dedicate time to helping your child learn ageappropriate personal hygiene, manners and how to look after their own (and others’) property; and learn strategies to manage separation anxiety.
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www.rosevillecollege.com
3. Academic, Curiosity and Concept Development Research fun, easy ways to nurture your child’s curiosity, and look for activities that can be played “in the everyday”; ie. while travelling, cooking/making things, or finding/ counting items at home or the shops. 4.
Physical Allow your child to attempt (safe) challenges to realise their physical abilities and limitations. Practise both fine motor skills (ie. using pencils, scissors or various fasteners like zippers; even eating from a lunchbox), and gross motor skills (ie. safely crossing a road, climbing, balancing, running, jumping, swimming and general water survival). A school within the Anglican Schools Corporation
sydney | summer 2016 | Offspring
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Whether you’re into sport, music, food and wine, or action, you’ll find many exciting events for all ages, in amazing locations throughout Regional NSW. Find out more at visitnsw.com. NEWCASTLE
SNOWY MOUNTAINS
SURFEST 2016 31 January – 28 February Australia’s largest festival of surfing hosts the world’s best professional men, women and junior surfers. Newcastle
SNOWIES MOUNTAIN BIKE FESTIVAL 12 – 14 February The iconic NSW Snowy Mountains and Thredbo Resort host the ultimate mountain bike experience over 3 days. Snowy Mountains
ORANGE
NEWCASTLE
AUSTRALIAN BOWL-RIDING CHAMPIONSHIPS 27 – 28 February Australia’s only true ‘nationals’ skateboarding competition welcoming skateboarders from every skill level and age. Newcastle
ORANGE F.O.O.D WEEK 8 – 17 April Entice your tastebuds as you experience the best of the region’s food and wine in a festival atmosphere. Orange
THE MURRAY
RIVERBOATS MUSIC FESTIVAL 19 – 21 February The Murray River’s premiere contemporary music event features brilliant artists and delicious regional food and wine. The Murray
HUNTER VALLEY
HUNTER VALLEY FOOD AND WINE MONTH 1 – 30 June The region’s diverse wine and food culture is showcased with a month long series of themed activities throughout June. Hunter Valley
If it’s on in NSW, it’s on visitnsw.com Please note that events are subject to change or cancellation (check relevant website for further details prior to the event). Destination NSW acknowledges and appreciates all photographic images supplied by each event owner for use in this advertisement.