WINTER 2018
Spirituality & emotions
Your Maternity Care Education Guide
FREE
www.offspringmagazine.com.au
Turia
unmasked
Wine Mums, guilty? Connected Parenting and Discipline
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Sexts, texts and selfies
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contents
winter
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EDITOR’S NOTE
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EDITOR’S TOP PICKS Nourishing beauty products, amazing life-style items and trendy accessories for the harsh winter months ahead!
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BABY STYLE ADVENTURE AWAITS Equip your baby for all possible adventures, from a cozy day indoors to thrilling explorations outdoors, with these perfect outfits!
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GIRLS STYLE MISS FREE Fuel your heroine’s dreams of gypsy travel and magical quests with these winter essentials.
14 BOYS STYLE WANDERERS OF THE EARTH The chaos doesn’t stop even when it’s cold: several great skate-and-surf style pieces for your little troublemakers. 16
COVER STORY TURIA UNMASKED Turia Pitt shares her story of survival in the face of extreme adversity and how to maintain a healthy mind-set during motherhood.
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16 12
22 BOOK REVIEW Top books to cuddle up with in Winter. 24
HEALTH WINE MUMS, GLASS HALF FULL OR BOTTLE ALMOST EMPTY? Wine Mums expose the health implications of habitual drinking and the possible risk of Alcohol Use Disorder.
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PARENTING SEXTS, TEXTS AND SELFIES A guide to protecting your children as they navigate cyberspace and social media.
www.offspringmagazine.com.au
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SPIRITUALITY SPIRITUAL CONNECTEDNESS THROUGH EMOTIONS Kate Durack interviews renowned psychic medium, Oscar De Souza, on how we connect with our inner guidance and ways to help our kids become more spiritually in tune.
36
PARENTING CONNECTED PARENTING AND DISCIPLINE Psychologist Dr. Vanessa Lapointe discusses the importance of balancing kindness and firmness.
39 COMMUNITY CHINESE-AUSTRALIAN MOTHER OF TWO STANDS UP AGAINST RACISM Lisa Chappell examines her fight against the ‘Ching Chong Burger’ at Johnny’s Burger Joint and how she strives to be a role-model for her kids. 41
48
ATERNITY CARE M YOUR MATERNITY CARE The many choices for maternity care don’t need to be intimidating — here’s how to choose the perfect one for you and your baby. PIRITUALITY S HOW TO BE A MINDFUL PARENT Dr. Elise Bialylew, author of The Happiness Plan, explains the benefits of parents developing a ‘beginner’s mind’ while trying to engage with their child’s world
55 36 51 55
EAL LIFE R MADELEINE WEST: SUPERMUM OF 6 Actress, writer and mother of six, Madeleine West, mother of six, shares her view on juggling parenthood and a flourishing career.
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DUCATION E SCHOOLED UP How do you choose the best school for your child? We look at the options so you can make an informed choice.
75 PERFORMING ARTS BROADWAY, BABY The performing arts is a transformative experience essential to a child’s wellbeing and development. Whether it’s drama, music or dance, we’ve got you covered with the best professional programs and stay-at-home fun!
ISSUE 35 WINTER 2018 Produced and published by Offspring Magazine Pty Ltd. ABN: 95 159 474 245 Website www.offspringmagazine.com.au Editorial enquiries editorial@offspringmagazine.com.au Advertising enquiries Phone 02 4326 1178 Mobile 0415 267 414 advertising@offspringmagazine.com.au Subscription enquiries subscription@offspringmagazine.com.au
Turia Pitt
Managing Editor Kate Durack Contributing writers Brooke Evans-Butler, Claire Armstrong, Ann Marie Bradstreet, Jessica De Freitas Cardoso, Rebekah Sheedy, Jenny Pang, David Bova, Dr. Vanessa Lapointe, Elise Anastas, Dr Elise Bialylew, Kate Durack. Graphic Designers Steven Lillywhite, Naomi O’Bryan, Keely Goodall and Nathalie Berger. Printed by Spotpress
Offspring magazine is an independent magazine published quarterly by Offspring Magazine Pty Ltd. Opinions represented are not necessarily those of the publisher. Offspring magazine contains general information and does not claim to substitute for health or parenting advice. All content is subject to copyright, and may not be reproduced without permission.
80,000
Average Net Distribution per issue.
This publication has been independently audited by the Circulations Audit Board.
Audit Period: September 2017 - March 2018
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Offspring | winter 2018 | sydney
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Editor’s note – Winter 2018
In nine years of producing Offspring, this is our favourite edition as well as our largest.
T
yet strong, position she maintained is secret to disciplining children within an attachment parenting framework – kind yet firm was a very clear message - so I was delighted by her contribution to this issue, “Connected Parenting and Discipline”. “Sexts, Texts and Selfies” contains mandatory guidance on protecting your social media.
here has been no article we’ve
Ann Marie Bradstreet created an
published that has moved me like
entertaining and informative piece: “Wine
“Turia Unmasked”. I felt very
Mums, Glass Half Full or Bottle Almost
privileged to have Turia as our Cover Story
Empty?”, a sobering look at our drinking
- what a phenomenal parent role model.
habits as parents. I am guilty of too easily associating relaxation or socialisation with
publishing Offspring over the past nine
Bubbles, whether there’s a real reason
years, and reminds me why I love creating
to celebrate or not. I recently attempted
it, despite the challenges that come
the 100 Day Alcohol Free Challenge and
with print publishing in this ‘techno’
got to Day 84 … [I had a lot of important
environment. The recent demise of
social occasions in those final 16 days!]
some established parenting titles means
A poignant article thanks Ann Marie.
Offspring is now the only National
We have our usual dose of Spirituality:
parenting publication in Australia. So, if
“How to Be a Mindful Parent”,
you enjoy reading Offspring for free please
which has nice reminders of
support our advertisers and sign up for our
appreciating the moments with our
newsletter to get the mag delivered to you
children and encouraging them to
as soon as it comes out.
develop mindful awareness.
Another amazing mum we feature in this issue is Madeleine West – how can she look that good, have a bustling career and have SIX KIDS? I admire the limitations
I interviewed amazing psychic medium, Oscar de Souza, in “Spiritual Connectedness Through Emotions” and struggled to get the word count down from 3600 to 1500. This man is a wealth of
she puts in place and values
wisdom and spiritual insight; this will be
she instils in her children
the first of a series where we can explore
to make sure the family
more detail about developing spirituality
runs smoothly as a whole,
in ourselves and our children, adding to
including allowing only
deeper peace and richness in our lives.
one curricula activity
I hope you enjoy it as much as I
per week per child and
have enjoyed producing it. And please
encouraging her kids to view her as Madeleine of many hats, not just as their mum. I was fortunate to see Dr Vanessa Lapointe present at a Maggie Dent Offspring | winter 2018 | sydney
impressed by the nurturing, empathetic,
children as they navigate cyberspace and
This is my proudest issue since
6
conference recently and was really
remember to enter our competitions through Facebook to win great stuff for you and your babies.
Kate Durack xx www.offspringmagazine.com.au
Editor’s top picks Welcome winter in style with these luxurious products that will keep you glowing from head to toe.
EMU Australia Beach Mini - RRP $129.95 Made with natural suede and fully lined with beautiful Australian Merino wool, the Beach Mini is a comfortable yet stylish suede ankle boot that will keep your feet warm all year round. www.emuaustralia.com.au
Hair Thickener – RRP $29.95 LENDAN has released a chocolatemint-coconut scented treatment that promises 10 unique fortifying benefits, including; increased strength, volume, shine, hydration, protection and nourishment. www.lendan.com.au
Skinstitut Derma Roller – RRP $79.95 Skin-inject™ DNC Derma Rollers utilise patented Disc Needle Care technology to provide a fast, safe and comfortable skin needling experience that rejuvenates, regenerates and revitalises the skin’s own natural healing response.
Galaxy Silk Pillowcases – RRP $159.00 Allow yourself to drift away into the stars with Shhh Silk’s Galaxy pillowcases and say goodbye to frizzy hair and pillow lines. www.shhhsilk.com.au
Funkita ‘Midnight Marble’ One Piece – RRP $89.95 Whether you’re off to find the winter sun or you enjoy racing laps of your local pool, make a statement with Funkita’s newest swimwear collection, Fly Free. www.funkita.com
Skinstitut 101: Brightening Sun Damage – RRP $49.00 Each. Rich in vitamins B3, C and antioxidants, Skinstitut’s Even Blend Serum, Multi-active Mist and Hydrating Mask clarifies uneven skin tones, brightens the complexion, reduces inflammation and nourishes dull, stressed and lack luster skin. Available online and at select professional clinics.
Silk Eye Mask – RRP $50.00 Not only are Shhh Silk’s oversized silk eye masks perfectly plush, but they’re also filled with silk too. The result? Your softest, most comfortable sleep yet. www.shhhsilk.com.au
Tigi Hair Care – RRP Shampoo: $21.80; Conditioner: $25.30; Mask: $27.00. Infused with turbo hydration molecules, Tigi’s Bedhead Urban Antidote Recovery Range leaves stressed, moisture-deprived hair feeling instantly soft, sleek and hydrated.
8
Offspring | winter 2018 | sydney
Face Mud – RRP $38.99 Herbs and Heart’s Face Mud gently exfoliates and removes embedded dirt, whilst potent bioactives deliver deep nourishment & hydration. www.herbsandheart.com
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Heading north for the winter? There’s bound to be an Ingenia Holiday Park on your way… With 21 holiday parks perfectly positioned across coastal and inland NSW and Queensland, Ingenia Holidays is a great place to stay for a night, a few days or your whole holiday!
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Wilson and Frenchy (pic: @alexandrenaparker)
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Wilson and Frenchy (pic: @alexandrenaparker)
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10 Offspring | winter 2018 | sydney
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Meriden girls make their Since 1897 Meriden has produced confident and articulate young women, renowned for making their marks academically and in the global community. To learn about the ways in which Meriden girls are making their marks in STEM subjects, visit www.meriden.nsw.edu.au
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Bambolina clothing $50 @etsy.com.au/ shopbambolinaclothing
miss free spirit Gypsy dreams of far away adventures leads style for girls this winter. For the bold, the brave and whimsical. Team simple dresses, tops and leggings with a chunky knit and boots. For that special time out, pack away treasures in the billibag by Bivouac Kid.
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12 Offspring | winter 2018 | sydney
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THE PERFECT BEACH HOLIDAY DESTINATION ! Our family-friendly park has an array of accommodation to suit everyone’s needs from waterfront Beach Retreats and Villas to our Ensuite and Powered Sites. Relax and enjoy a swim or a game of beach cricket on our beautiful Easts Beach. The kids will love our new water park “Sunny’s Aquaventure Park”, along with our jumping pillow, games room and children’s playgrounds. Kids activities and movies in our holiday periods will keep the kids busy. Our holiday park is the ideal location from which to explore the south coast, with popular tourist attractions such as Jamberoo Action Park and the Minnamurra Rainforest just minutes away.
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Adam and Yve $54.90 @kidstribe.com.au
Curious and wild, the chaos of kids. This collection of boys’ skate and surf style will bring out that nomadic adventurous spirit this winter. We love that the fashion is ethical too!
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14 Offspring | winter 2018 | sydney
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Turia
unmasked Turia Pitt is a name synonymous with survival. She is renowned for her pure grit to thrive in the most phenomenal story of triumph in the face of seemingly insurmountable adversity. But she is humble in her pragmatic approach, always seeking the positive to whatever life throws her way, even when that includes the unknown world of parenting. She takes the time to tell Claire Armstrong her story.
T
he sound of a car engine picking up pace and the faint hum of a radio and we are being swept along into the bustling life of Turia Pitt. It seems nothing slows her down these days. A far cry from the knife-edge existence she faced just seven
years ago after being trapped by a horrific grass fire in Western Australia’s remote Kimberley region while competing in a 100km ultra-marathon. She kicks off our phone interview colloquially addressing me as “mate”, making her down to earth nature instantly obvious. We go over the usual pleasantries and she is upfront that she doesn’t wish to dwell too much on the fire. At the time, the Tahitian born ex-model and fitness junkie was living in Kununurra, WA’s far north-east, with her childhood sweetheart, Michael. She had just landed her dream job at the Argyle Diamond Mine as a mining engineer, shortly after graduating University with a double degree in Mining Engineering and Environmental Science. She refers to herself as a vivacious over achiever. Flourishing in the red dirt and dust landscape with an insatiable thirst for adventure, Turia found the idea of running 100km across rugged outcrop, rocks and riverbeds oddly appealing. Accepting the organiser’s
Turia and five other athletes were unsuspectingly met with a huge three metre wall of flames so deafeningly loud she likens it to a freight train.
Racing the Planet offer to waive her entry fee, the then 24-yearold unsuspectingly entered a sliding-doors moment, which would forever change the course of her life. That fateful day on 2nd September 2011 started with so much promise as some 40 athletes took to the start line with visions of pushing themselves to the limit to trek the isolated desert between 16
Offspring | winter 2018 | sydney
Kununurra and the El Questro Wilderness Park. Shortly after passing the second check point and entering the rocky, uneven terrain of Tier Gorge, Turia and five other athletes were unsuspectingly met with a huge threemetre wall of flames so deafeningly loud she likens it to a freight train. With the treacherous path into the gorge shrouded in smoke, the group made the desperate decision to scramble to a rocky outcrop halfway up the side of the valley, vainly trying to protect themselves, but realising they could not outrun the fierce flames. It caught them and was unrelenting. Four competitors suffered shocking burns, two escaped injury, the worst by far was Turia. With burns to 65 per cent of her body, mainly affecting her face, neck, chest, arms, hands and legs, there was a very real concern Turia would not survive. The burns were so deep, nerve endings had been destroyed. The area was so isolated it took nearly four hours, with little more than Panadol, for rescue. Family were too devastated to see her at first, not wanting that image to be their last memory. It was touch and go. But against all odds she survived. A month in an induced coma, six months in hospital, two years of rehabilitation and hundreds of operations, not that she is counting, and slowly and surely, she began to rebuild. “Sometimes I think it’s weird to be well known for some random accident,” she confesses. “A few seconds of my life that have changed everything.” But she brushes it off quickly, refusing to believe her fame comes as a result of being burnt, but of the accomplishments since. “I believe people recognise me because of my charity work, my physical feats, my optimism and resilience,” she affirms. “But no matter how I look at things, my life will always be divided into two parts: Before and After the accident. But let’s focus on the after.” Turia is eager to tell me about her brand new book - an
We all face challenges in our life. Part of living is accepting that very often things will be completely out of our control. Tough times teach us resilience and the knowledge that whatever difficulties we face aren’t going to weaken us - they are going to make us stronger
adaptation of her popular memoir Unmasked into a teenspecific version of the same name published by Penguin Random House Australia. The catalyst for the reinvention of the book came after the overwhelming response by teens and new parents alike to her e-book Good Selfie, released last year. “In Good Selfie I shared a lot of the mindset strategies I use every day and I found it really resonated with teens,” she says. “Mentally, there’s loads of little tricks and strategies we can teach kids and use ourselves to find more confidence, strength and optimism. I wanted to share more of these strategies in Unmasked, alongside my story told plain and simple, and hope that it connects with young people in some way.” “We all face challenges in our life. Part of living is accepting that very often things will be completely out of our control. Tough times teach us resilience and the knowledge that whatever difficulties we face aren’t going to weaken us - they are going to make us stronger.” sydney | winter 2018 | Offspring
17
Umasked’s powerful message of a positive mindset, Turia hopes, will remind her young readers of how lucky they are for the life and opportunities waiting for them, as well as help new mums adjusting to motherhood to stay in the moment and find gratitude in the mundane. Most of us will sit up and listen when these words are written from someone whose mum proudly hung her two prestigious University of NSW degrees above her hospital bed, while she had to excruciatingly re-learn how to close her mouth, pronounce words and eat, with now seven missing fingers. “Every painful moment was another hurdle to overcome,” she recalls. “I knew I could get back on my feet, but it was slower than I could have ever imagined. I could barely move my tongue or use my facial muscles and had to undergo daily physiotherapy and occupational therapy just for the slightest bit of progress.” And when asked if she ever felt like giving up? “In hospital there were definitely times I felt I didn’t have the strength to keep living,” she admits. “But if there is ever a sure-fire way to motivate me, it’s to put limitations on what I can and cannot do. So I set myself a goal. Ironman. The doctors told me I might never walk, or run again and would probably need constant care, so I decided I was going to prove them wrong. I was going to compete in an Ironman challenge.” And compete in Ironman she did. Well two in fact! Proving we can achieve absolutely anything when we break it down into small steps. Since the fire, not only has she competed in the Ironman Australia race in Port Macquarie but the Ironman World Championships in Hawaii, trekked the gruelling Kokoda Trail, walked the Great Wall of China, rode a bike from Sydney to Uluru, swam across the Kimberley’s Lake Argyle and tackled the Inca Trail in Peru. And was named NSW Premier’s Woman of the Year and a finalist for Young Australian of the Year. And always by her side, no one can forget the unrelenting support of Turia’s boyfriend, Michael, and mum, Celestine. “I had a lot of time to think while in hospital and I realised I was fortunate to be blessed with such loving parents and a boyfriend like Michael,” she muses. “I had to wear a mask for 23 hours a day for two years to help smooth my facial scarring and a full-body compression suit over my dressings to help with healing and I didn’t know if I could still be Turia. I couldn’t see myself sharing the same outdoor adventure experiences with Michael anymore. But Michael still saw ‘me’. He was in love
I couldn’t see myself sharing the same outdoor adventure experiences with Michael anymore. But Michael still saw ‘me’. He was in love with my personality and that’s something I’ve still got. 18
Offspring | winter 2018 | sydney
Turia explains as a new mum she found herself saying ‘I have to go get Hakavai’ … And simply changing her inner voice to say ‘I get to’ has been monumental to see motherhood as a privilege rather than a chore. with my personality and that’s something I’ve still got.” Together Turia and Michael set about building a new future and last year that including tackling the challenges of parenthood. On 7th December 2017, their first child, Hakavai, entered the world. Turia chuckles recalling the questions from well-meaning strangers about how her body would cope during pregnancy, but she is blunt in the fact that on the inside everything still works just fine. In what has become typical of Turia she brushes off her 13-hour labour, epidural and vacuum extraction as just the journey she had to take to meet her amazing little boy. A song on the radio interrupts her train of thought. “Being Hakavai’s mum is intoxicating and scary and incredible. It’s a kind of love I simply couldn’t have imagined before I had him.” Motherhood has thrown a new curveball her way, learning how to make time to care for herself, remembering that ‘me’ time is not her opportunity to clean the house. She admits even with her mum living close by, in-laws just down the street and a group of friends also nursing newborns, she still found the adjustment hard. “People try and prepare you. I don’t think anything prepares you for life with a new baby.” Turia explains as a new mum she initially found herself always saying ‘I have to go get Hakavai’ or ‘I have to go wash Hakavai’s clothes,’ seeing life as a long list of chores and obligations. And simply changing her inner voice to say ‘I get to’ has been monumental to see motherhood as a privilege rather than a chore. “I’m lucky I can leave Hakavai with Mum and go for a surf, yoga class or catch up with a mate. sydney | winter 2018 | Offspring
19
I knew I could get back on my feet, but it was slower than I could have ever imagined. I could barely move my tongue or use my facial muscles. For me, at this stage of his life, the focus is on
“People often ask me if I’d change things if I
fitting my work and fitness around Hakavai, not
could. There is no point thinking like that. Instead,
the other way around,” she says.
I think of all the people who don’t have access to
Her version of slowing down might still look a little hectic for some. Today, 30-yearold Turia lives in her idyllic hometown of Mollymook on the New South Wales south coast. She still travels giving inspirational speeches, provides online mentoring, has
the kind of medical care I had. That’s why I’m devoted to Interplast. It’s not the best-known charity but in terms of the impact on the lives of those whose work it touches, it punches far above its weight.” She explains that people always say
just published the young adult edition
they don’t have enough time and marvel
of her bestselling book Unmasked, has
at how she fits everything in, when time
ambitions to get back into marathons and
is really the one thing distributed evenly
epic hikes next year, maybe even Everest
between every single person on the
will be back on the cards after the trek
planet. “We just have to make the most
was interrupted by her pregnancy. As well
of the time we have.”
as fitting in her own care and appointments including a recent surgery to straighten the bridge of her nose and continuing her wellrecognised humanitarian efforts. Interplast is one such cause she is passionate about; a charity that provides free reconstructive
Turia finishes our chat telling me she has arrived at her next appointment. I thank her for her time and wisdom and she replies she is probably luckier than most, frankly stating that when you are written off for dead and claw your way back to existence
surgery to people in developing countries,
you kind of learn to not take a single moment
and one in which Turia has raised more than
of any single day for granted. And with that
$200,000.
sobering thought she bids me farewell.
“I don’t know what the long-term plan is for my surgeries and rehabilitation. At the moment, we are doing two to three surgeries a year. I no longer keep track of how many surgeries I have had. I have really wanted to get my nose improved this year and I’ll see what happens next year,” the indicator ticks loudly as we wait for our journey to continue. 20
Offspring | winter 2018 | sydney
TURIA’S TIPS FOR A POSITIVE MINDSET
1 Surround yourself with like-minded, positive people who support you
2 Be grateful for what you have each day
3 Always work towards a goal
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Book REVIEW
Here are our top picks for young readers this Winter season. 0-5 years
Along came a different
Migration Incredible Animal Journeys
The Reds sure do love their hats and their music, but this is a problem for the Yellows, who consider the Red’s music to be far too loud. Don’t forget about the Blues, wearing their fancy bowties and playing their blue guitars, further dividing the groups up. All three colours strongly dislike each other, until one day a new colour turns up and wants to be friends with the Reds, Yellows and Blues! Young readers will learn that everybody can be friends, even if there are people out there who are different.
This book contains 20 stunning animals, with vivid illustrations and exciting facts about these creatures, including the great white shark, African elephants, and the emperor penguin, just to name a few. Not only will you get to view and learn about these fascinating animals but you will be joining them on their migration journey.
Author and Illustrator: Tom Mclaughlin
2-4 years
Lets Go ABC! Author: Rhonda Gowler Greene Illustrator: Daniel Kirk
A unique and exciting way for children to learn the alphabet, all the way from A to Z! Every letter in this wonderful picture book has an association with a vehicle of some sort. Kids will not only learn the alphabet but also be taken on a thrilling journey with the wonderful illustrations, making it an even more enjoyable experience to learn.
3-5 years
Being a Princess is very Hard Work Author: Sarah Kilbride Illustrator: Ada Grey
It’s not an easy thing being a princess. There are far too many thrones you have to sit on, too many hands to shake, and worst of all, too many frogs to kiss! From the bestselling author of Princess Evie’s Ponies comes a story for young woman about the struggles a princess must endure.
22
7-9 years
Offspring | winter 2018 | sydney
Author: Mike Unwin Illustrator: Jenni Desmond
8+ years
David Walliams Book of Stuff
Author: David Walliams Illustrator: Tony Ross & Sir Quentin Blake
A Hilarious book for David Walliams fans, old or new. Inside you will find quizzes, facts, and all sorts of wacky knowledge about the characters in David’s books, providing hours of entertainment for all readers. Not to mention it’s also a wonderful companion alongside any of David Walliams’ novels.
ADULTS
The Doctor’s Diet Author: Alessandro Demaio
Doctor Alessandro Demaio, star of ABC’s Ask The Doctor provides not only 120 healthy recipes in this book but some fantastic advice and tips on how to stay in shape. Alessandro explains why the best diet is a simple one that is based on unprocessed ingredients, and just as importantly, should always taste great.
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Wine Mums
Glass Half Full or Bottle Almost Empty? BY ANN MARIE BRADSTREET
Many of us enjoy a little tipple here and there but ‘Wine Mums’ has become a phenomena that can all too easily get out of control.
D
o you ever leave just a sliver of wine in the bottle you’ve just drunk to yourself before you and your lopsided grin shuffle off to bed? Just so you don’t have to admit to yourself that you’d drunk the whole thing, again? Or is that just me? As it happens, Morning Me just rolls her eyes at Wino Mum’s clumsy veil of deception, knowing full well that she drinks too much and too often and if Wino Mum is honest with herself, she knows it too. The thing is, until recently I didn’t think it was much of a problem. My life is far from unravelling and most people I know wouldn’t bat an eyelid at knocking off a bottle to themselves and let’s face it, medicating the stresses of work/family life and any other gremlins lurking in the depths of your soul is essentially, a National Pastime. There’s just been one thing not buying it though, a worried little voice that wakes in my head at 2am and cries, “this isn’t fun!” As the National Healthy Drinking Guidelines (see box) begin to penetrate and I begin to contemplate the health risks of my habit, I discover that a bottle of wine is between eight and nine standard drinks, instead of what I believed to be four, and decide it’s time to rein it in. Depending on which study you happen upon, Australian
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drinking trends have been cast in varied shades leaving us wondering do we have a problem or don’t we? Imagine an easy Sunday afternoon, dappled sunlight filtering through the trees of a beer garden as children play and mothers’ laughter tinkle against glasses of crisp Sauvignon Blanc and the situation seems bright, if we are to consider a recent study released in August 2017 by DrinkWise revealing Australians are drinking more responsibly than they did 10 years ago. According to DrinkWise, an independent charity funded by the alcohol industry, our cultural attitude toward drinking practices is maturing and evolving. While their research tells us the number of Australians drinking to excess is decreasing and Moderate Drinkers, Abstainers and mercifully, Adolescents delaying their first drink are rising, it also details why we drink.
C
National guidelines for healthy drinking practices
C
GUIDELINE 1: REDUCING THE RISK OF ALCOHOL-RELATED HARM OVER A LIFETIME The lifetime risk of harm from drinking alcohol increases with the amount consumed. For healthy men and women, drinking no more than two standard drinks on any day reduces the lifetime risk of harm from alcohol-related disease or injury
C
GUIDELINE 2: REDUCING THE RISK OF INJURY ON A SINGLE OCCASION OF DRINKING On a single occasion of drinking, the risk of alcohol-related injury increases with the amount consumed. For healthy men and women, drinking no more than four standard drinks on a single occasion reduces the risk of alcohol-related injury arising from that occasion. GUIDELINE 3: CHILDREN AND YOUNG PEOPLE UNDER 18 YEARS OF AGE
C
For children and young people under 18 years of age, not drinking alcohol is the safest option. Parents and carers should be advised that children under 15 years of age are at the greatest risk of harm from drinking and that for this age group, not drinking alcohol is especially important. For young people aged 15−17 years, the safest option is to delay the initiation of drinking for as long as possible. GUIDELINE 4: PREGNANCY AND BREASTFEEDING Maternal alcohol consumption can harm the developing foetus or breastfeeding baby. For women who are pregnant or planning a pregnancy, not drinking is the safest option. For women who are breastfeeding, not drinking is the safest option.
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DrinkWise reports Younger Families with children under 13 years are drinking smaller amounts than in 2007, using alcohol to relax, unwind and cope with the pressures of parenthood. (Taking an elementary guess, I shall confidently deduce that Sherlock was not called upon to tease out this motive.) Older Families, with children above 13 years are said to be rediscovering their identity and freedom as the responsibility of parenthood tapers. For those drinking at risky levels, they are returning to pre-parenthood drinking habits, whatever that means. If they’re referring to me then I’m stage diving off a Santorini Bar and letting my alarm clock bleep away for two hours before waking up in a haze of Ouzo with my sneakers still on. Shikes, that’s not such good news. This carefully optimistic data, however, is supported in premise, by other research such as the 2016 National Drug Strategy Household Survey by the Australian Institute of Health
After three years of sobriety while pregnant and breastfeeding, Leah began to have an occasional glass of wine but began to drink more heavily after moving to a street populated with mostly stay-at-home mums. “After each Groundhog Day, we’d meet out the front of our houses while the kids played, waiting for our husbands to come home from work,” she says. “It was very Stepford Wives. We’d done our chores, tended to the children and finally showered so we could meet up on the lawn and wind down over a glass of wine. It all felt quite civilised until it got to the point that dinner was being made later with the drinking starting earlier.” Friday after work drinks is an ingrained ritual embedded within our cultural landscape, yet in the strained world of parenthood where working hours blur like an indiscriminate crayon smear on a cream suede couch, a long week can easily be traded for a long day and before you can shout, “Get your bottom out of your brother’s
“Once the bottle is open … I definitely use alcohol to wind down after a day with the kids. I have a few habits that I need to address this year.”
and Welfare which shows a reduction in alcohol consumption except, notably, for a rise in women between the ages of 50 - 59 but we’ve all got an Aunty Joy, so no surprises there. The survey does acknowledge, however, that the consumption of alcohol is widespread in Australia and entwined in many social and cultural activities which poses the question, is the decline meaningful enough to claim we’re half French or are we just a goon pillow away from half cut? Leah, a 33 year old working mother of two recently decided to moderate her drinking habits after her husband asked her to cut down. “Up until recently I was drinking approximately four times a week,” she says. "Mid-week, I’d drink a few glasses of wine at night and on weekends, if there was a social function, I’d drink one or two bottles of wine. A special occasion would call for cocktails, champagne and perhaps even shots if I was trying to be really fun.” 26
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face!” There seems a legitimate reason for Wine O’clock, even though it’s only Monday. Sally (44), mother of four, whose three glasses of wine each night can easily escalate as she toys with the “once the bottle is open scenario,” admits that “wine time” can easily get out of hand. “I definitely use alcohol to wind down after a day with the kids. I have a few habits that I need to address this year,” she confesses. A study released in June 2017 by The Centre for Alcohol and Policy Research, found that although there had been a reduction in parent drinking from 2001, parents in 2013 were less likely to be abstainers than non-parents. And, let’s face it, it’s easier to knock back a glass of red and watch Married at First Sight (my personal research findings reveal reality TV is completely shit sober) than it is to make a yoga class, leaving your husband to “put the kids to bed” and “do the dishes”. It is easier to drink, an immediate hit to your reward centre, when your life feels everything but your own, but is it really helping? Is it sustainable? And, what are the long term ramifications to physical and mental wellbeing? We all have a pretty good idea of the answers but they can be scary to contemplate. Hannah, a 43 year old mother of one says, “I drink two glasses of red wine every night after my daughter is in bed. I definitely associate wine with winding down and having some “me” time. That said, I do have concerns about the health implications of habitual drinking. If I’m honest, it’s something I would like to change but find difficult to do.” As the sun begins to seep on the Sunday session, deepening the shade over the beer garden and the kids start to whine while couples bicker over who was meant to drive, we may take a more sober view of an in-depth seven year study investigating
It is easier to drink, an immediate hit to your reward centre, when your life feels everything but your own, but is it really helping? Is it sustainable? alcohol dependence in Australian women aged between 35 to 59. Conducted by Dr Janice Withnall, from the University of Western Sydney, the study, Researching with Women in Recovery, identified 16 per cent of the group were alcohol dependent and the healthcare required to meet their needs, was inadequate. The study highlighted a lack of acknowledgement of Alcohol Use Disorders within the demographic who often suffered from misdiagnosis or, “preferable diagnosis”, having symptoms treated instead for PMT, anxiety, depression, PTSD or menopause related. Leah, who now makes a point not to drink through the week says, “I thought drinking gave me a sense of wellbeing, eased the stress but it actually increases my guilt and anxiety. Motherhood and married life made me feel like I’d lost myself and drinking seemed to bring me closer to my old self but I’d gotten to the point where I just felt lost.” If you, or someone you know have concerns about alcohol misuse, numbers to call are Alcohol and Drug Information Services (ADIS) within your state or territory (numbers differ), Alcoholics Anonymous Helpline (AA) 1300 222 222, Lifeline Australia 13 11 14 or contact your local GP. Names have been changed in this story for the sake of privacy.
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Sexts, SelFIes: rdoso By Jessica De Freitas Ca
92 percent of adolescents aged between 13 – 17 are online daily and more than half of these kids are online several times a day. Younger children are also accessing online apps daily. This is a concern because frequent use of social media exposes children to risks of cyber-bullying, low self-esteem, sexting and other serious dangers, such as online-grooming, identity theft and pornography. Given our children’s large online activity, it is crucial we guide them through the digital world and how to use it safely.
A
lthough most of us remember a time before the internet and social media, adolescents cannot imagine the world any other way.
While we acknowledge there are great things about the digital world, we can’t ignore the potential risks:
p Children may be tech-savvy, but their cognitive development is not yet matured.
p Social media is their primary form of communication with each other.
p They feel a strong urge to always be connected no matter where they are.
p There are pressures during adolescence to conform to what peers are engaging in.
Whether we like it or not, smart devices and social media apps are part of our children’s lives and they have a strong influence on the way children communicate, share and exchange information. Susan McLean, who was a member of the Victorian Police for 27 years and widely recognised as Australia’s first ‘cyber cop’ has released a book titled Sexts, Texts, and Selfies, published by Penguin Random House Australia. Mclean has extensive experience with youth and Cyberspace since first handling a case of cyber-bullying with Year Eight girls back in 1994. She has also raised three children, whilst navigating parenting as online technology has continued to grow over the last 17 years. So, what do children and
adolescents do while they’re online? If you allow your children to have accounts and apps on their 28
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Texts and S A N E R D IL H C R U O Y G IN T C E T A GUIDE ON PRO . IA D E M L IA C O S D N A E C A P S R THEY NAVIGATE CYBE
devices, you MUST make sure you know what they are using so you have an idea of the level of interaction the game or app allows for the users.
e B lock and delete. If your child is being bullied, they should
block or delete the bully from whichever site or app they’re on. And make sure you investigate the extent of this bullying, that way the bully can no longer hurt your child.
Apps and games children frequently use include: Ask.fm, Facebook, Facebook messenger, Facetime, Fortnite, Instagram, live-ly, musical-ly, Omegle, Minecraft, Sarahah, Snapchat, Tumblr, Twitter, Wishbone, and YouTube or YouTube kids.
e K eep a copy. If you are reporting a serious comment or
There is another app called the Secret Calculator which is downloaded by children to hide content they don’t want adults to find out about.
e A dvise your child to exit any site or game that
Given the popularity of these interactive forums, it’s unrealistic to command children not to use these sites or simply trust they won’t. As parents, we have it in our power to minimise the risks accordingly:
e K eep tech devices out of the bedroom. It’s a lot easier to
monitor what your child is getting up to if their devices are in common living spaces.
e P arental monitoring. It isn’t invasive to walk past and check
what your child is doing. Check for changes in behaviour. Make sure they’re on a pre-approved site and communicating with people they know.
series of harassment, it’s important to screenshot or save the comments on another document for evidence as schools or the police will usually need proof.
makes them feel uncomfortable. Make sure your child knows some warning signs and that if they feel slightly uncomfortable, that they can come to you and they will not get into trouble.
e H ave a family Internet contract. Have set guidelines
including which games/apps they can use, who they can talk to, what information they can share and how long they’re allowed on these sites. There should be consequences if rules are broken.
e Never threaten total disconnection. If you ban your
children from everything, they will most likely hide things from you.
There is another app called the Secret Calculator which is downloaded by children to hide content they don’t want adults to find out about.
e D on’t social stalk. If you see your child do or post something online you don’t like, don’t make an online comment. Speak to them directly about it.
e S et an example by not responding to abuse. If something upsets your child online, make sure they come to you first about it. Make sure you don’t retaliate and post something abusive back. Set a good example.
e R eport the abuse. If your child receives a nasty comment,
make sure they know how to report it. Go through the settings of each site/app with them so they’re aware of how to deal with abusive language.
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29
e M ake sure they know you’ll help them no matter what. Kids fear they’ll get into trouble if they tell their
parents about a problem or something they’ve seen. Make sure they understand they can tell you anything.
e M onitor your child’s phone plans and credit use. Check their
phone usage regularly and keep an eye out for any changes in usage or communication with unknown numbers.
e Learn the lingo. Spend time online with them. Learn the abbreviations and common terms.
e Set social networking profiles to private. This will
greatly increase your child’s safety online. Make sure they also come to you if they receive friend/follow requests from people they do not know.
e O nly interact with people you know. People aren’t
always as they appear online. Strangers should not be accepted simply because there are mutual friends between your child and the stranger. Online predators do this to gain access so make sure your child does not communicate with strangers online.
e O nline scams. Teach your children about
pop-up ads and to steer clear of icons saying they’ve won something. Ignoring these will keep your device and your child safe.
e N eed and want – know the
difference. Children will often say they need the Internet to do homework but usually they will only need it to download something or do the research. They do not need to be connected to write the essay or do the worksheet. Be aware of this!
e I nstall filters. Make sure there
are parenting controls and locking software on any device your child uses.
e K now the device. Do not allow your child to use a device that you do not understand! Find out the ins and outs of it before you give your child access to it.
e U se parental controls. There are systems in place for
every device. You can turn the camera off, limit the age rating, not allowing in-app purchases to avoid a bill, and not allowing them to add friends themselves. Doing these things will protect your child.
e T urn off location services. Having location services on
can be dangerous as it gives people the ability to find out where your child is. Make sure this feature is turned off. Children can also post photos/statuses where they ‘check in’ or tag places on apps like Facebook and Instagram. Make sure they don’t do this or that they wait until they have left.
e S et time limits. Set a time limit. It’s recommended
that children get no more than two hours of screen time (excluding time used for school work). Don’t allow young children especially, to use devices when you’re asleep and can’t monitor them. Make sure everybody understands this.
e Check their profiles. Have a look at the content on their
profiles. Make sure they’re not posting inappropriate images, videos or comments. Remember they don’t always know right from wrong, or if something puts them at risk, so teach them.
e Keep personal information private. Make sure your
child knows what personal information is and how much to keep private.
e Obey age restrictions. Make sure your child knows they shouldn’t lie about age online. There is a reason why each site and app have age restrictions in place.
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e U se strong passwords. Make sure your
child’s passwords are not easily guessed such as their birthday, favourite team or pet’s name. Make sure they know NOT to share their passwords with their friends. Teach them why this is dangerous.
e T rusting older children. Susan suggests
older children writing their passwords down and putting it in a sealed envelope. Put the envelope in an agreed safe place. This allows the child to see if someone has opened it and to build some trust.
Frequent use of social media exposes kids to risks of cyber-bullying, low self-esteem, sexting and other serious dangers, such as online-grooming, identity theft and pornography.
e T urn the webcam off. If your child isn’t skyping with
relatives or talking to friends, there is no need to keep the webcam on. Make sure the light is off or you can cover it with some tape or Blu-tack.
e identities are not always as they seem. Make sure
your child knows that not everything online is correct. Information and even people’s identities isn’t always as it seems. If they’re researching, make sure they know to consult a few different sites.
And lastly, ask for help! If you need more information and assistance, there are plenty of websites and campaigns that can educate parents including:
i www.lifeeducation.org.auwww.bravehearts.org.au i www.esafety.gov.au ww.crucial.com.au/a-parents-guide-to-kids-safetyiw on-the-web/
Schools are also great for this. Alternatively, there are great articles and books out there that can give you in-depth strategies to keep your children safe online. Susan McLean’s book Sexts, Texts and Selfies is a useful resource for parents who want to know all about what children do online and how to keep them safe. www.offspringmagazine.com.au
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31
Spiritual connectedness
through emotion
Oscar de Souza is a special sort of a person who shares his divine wisdom to help people lead more enriched and happy lives through embracing their emotions. By KATE DURACK
I
was at a party in February and dropped into a conversation between friends about the extraordinary gifts of Oscar, a psychic medium who lives on the New South Wales’ Central Coast. One of these women, Jasmine*, a converted Sceptic,
was sharing her experience about how Oscar’s clairvoyance has helped her find peace with losing her mother suddenly, and how he provided accurate and personal details about her mother’s passing, the funeral and a special relationship with her granddaughter, details only known to her. Jasmine’s readings with Oscar have comforted her greatly knowing her mother is at peace and that their connection remains. The experience has also helped instil a belief for Jasmine in a spiritual realm beyond the human existence. Anything Clairvoyant excites my curiosity - I too was hopeful of receiving a special ethereal message - so I excitedly tried to arrange a reading. I was informed Oscar could do a reading for me at “11am on 17th November” … a while nine months away. Oscar de Souza’s reputation precedes him; people have been waiting 18 months for a reading with him. Curiosity ensued so I went along to one of his Meditations … wow. I have practiced various styles of mediation daily for years, so am familiar with its revolutionary benefits, but sessions with Oscar are especially powerful.
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Oscar and his guides enable a spiritual energy current in a group meditation, which elevates the vibration of the room for people to feel spiritually relaxed and alleviated. Oscar receives insights and messages from entities and spirits outside of himself, whom he refers to as “masters of light and a council of light who are made up of many evolved souls who have previously walked this earth”. He also refers to loved ones and Angels. During my interview with Oscar and in meditations, he revealed astonishing knowledge about my children (he knew I have two kids), details around this magazine, my personal life and that I am from Perth. I felt Read and understood, and was offered helpful guidance from The Other Side. Apparently, we all have Guides. They can include loved ones who have passed, loved ones who didn’t get to see us when we were born so they watch over and members of our Soul Group. “Our soul chooses to come to this earth and be in human
I felt Read and understood, and was offered helpful guidance from The Other Side.
form while other souls who are connected to us will work with us, like a team,” Oscar says. Oscar insists people should always have a Beacon, so they know in times of necessity they can turn to that Source.
“Ultimately we all come here to acquire emotions. When
“Whatever deity or religion it may be, it’s very important. That’s
we leave this earth it’s all we take with us, the emotions and the
why religion was put there and not necessarily the institution.”
wisdom that came with that. That is the biggest purpose above all.”
Francesca, Oscar’s previous Personal Assistant and friend
At just four years of age, when Oscar’s parents asked him
of more than 10 years, says he helps people to see who they truly
what he would like to do, he responded: ‘I’ve come to facilitate
are. “We all have that flickering light, and Oscar helps fan that
the evolution of humans, I was put here to help them spiritually
flame until you believe in yourself again. He helps us to listen
connect’. Even at four, Oscar expresses his biggest concern was to
to our own spirit within.” Oscar, who says he has had hundreds of lifetimes as a spiritual teacher, maintains our primary purpose is to
remember where he had just travelled from to be back as a human. “At that age, I was already recalling faint memories from not only ancient Egypt but also of ancient times prior to Egypt, known
experience emotions.
as Sumerian and also Atlantis. I recalled many symbols which I
We all have that flickering light, and Oscar helps fan that flame until you believe in yourself again. He helps us to listen to our own spirit within.
would write down and gaze into, meditating on these to recall where last in another life had I seen them.” Oscar’s father, a business person, was a very “grounding” man and his mother, a former nun, was a very “Out There” woman. “At times I used to think that was a bit stifling, but I can see how important it would have been for such a crazy old soul like mine not to have that anchoring.” He believes we choose our parents to acquire the emotions we get from them, not the incidences. “Many people are convinced they would never choose their parents, but our soul is way more aware of what and why it’s choosing its parents than we could ever fathom. For instance, ‘Why would I choose my father, he was a bully and molested me?’” Oscar’s response: “You didn’t, you didn’t even have a brain at the time, your soul chose to acquire those emotions. The spirit is immortal, it’s impermeable.” ‘But, why would my soul choose to put itself in a situation of such violence?’ Oscar’s response: “To acquire the emotion that it did. When we’re violated we feel vulnerability, humility, sensitivity, and we turn within.
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Manifesting reality isn’t based on thought patterns, it’s based on what energy, emotions, we emit. ‘’If we’re emitting fear, that’s the natural flow of nature – what goes out, comes in.” But to Know that it is prosperous and to not need to try to make it prosperous, and hold that reality without hope, just an unmitigated Knowingness is Key. “If we trust everything is perfect as it’s meant to be then that’s exactly how it will be.” Oscar uses this metaphor: We have a paper cut and constantly look at it and touch it, and tell ourselves it will heal, it often becomes sore and gets worse. But, when we are busy, preoccupied and disregard this cut, knowing it will heal, one day we will look at our finger and realise it has healed. “The more we pay attention to something, the more we make it happen, without directly knowing about it.” Another example: When a child is in pain, a natural tendency for a mother is to quickly hold the child and stroke her head, because love emits from the hands. There are two potential outcomes – panic or knowingness that everything is fine.
“The brain, which is mortal, or temporary, will look at it from a sense of cruel, unfair, unjust and violated. And that’s real and needs to be taken into account because we are in a human world, but these emotions have lead you to be who you are now.
Ultimately we all come here to acquire emotions. When we leave this earth it’s all we take with us, the emotions and the wisdom that came with that. That is the biggest purpose above all.
“If we are panicking when we hold the child, she becomes more agitated. It is really all about what’s inside of us, the emotions that lie within us.” Oscar believes people take life too seriously, while not taking emotions seriously enough. “If we took our
A better judge of character, a little more prudent with people’s intentions.” The spectrum of emotions cannot be experienced in one lifetime, and are something unique to the human experience - other dimensions don’t experience the richness of emotions - and this is what life on Earth teaches us. It’s all energy, according to Oscar; and life is about Polarity. “The amount of energy used to feel anger is the same energy to feel kindness. It’s the same emotion, but on a different spectrum. We need to understand variable frequencies of energy, with the concept of emotions; such dialect pertains only to the human being. “We live in a world of polarity - day and night, good and bad, up and down. The world functions in polarity so if we are exercising extreme positivity, we’re not really being at one with all that is.” We manifest life by synchronising the emotions we emit with our thoughts. “Visualising is ok, but the energy and emotions you have really determine the outcome. If you’re visualising that you’re ‘going to be healed’, you are implying that you are not healed. “Or, our business is financially not doing well, and we think, ‘Oh My God, it’s going to shut down. No, no, no it’s going to progress’, we’re coming from a place of fear. “If we’re afraid the relationship isn’t right, it won’t be right!” 34 Offspring | winter 2018 | sydney
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How do we develop spirituality in our children?
emotions more seriously, then we would manifest life more easily. We don’t say, ‘I don’t want to go there, because that’s going to impede on my emotional structure’. We go there because we’re alone, and then we get all these emotions…” We should nurture and be aware of our emotions, not just roll
Our children pick up a lot from how we perceive ourselves and how we refer to ourselves and our life’s journey. We need to open up to our own perception of our soul and its spiritual journey, to enable our child to also do the same, and acknowledge our child as a soul rather than just the baby we created.
from one incident to another. “I find sometimes we’re on a roller coaster ride, it’s uncontrolled. To stop, and convert that roller coaster into a playground of manifesting life, friends, children and prosperity, is to go back to oneself and be Still. “Practice the Art of Stillness, because therein lies the connection to our energy field, and within that lies the connection to our spirit. “How disciplined are people to be able to sit down without distraction, no television or mobiles, for an hour? Many people like to think of it, but don’t do it. “Therein lies the beginning of something growing beautifully, or something that we neglect.” n *Jasmine’s name has been changed for privacy.
Due to demand, Oscar is embarking on a National tour whereby he will be sharing his insights into spirituality. He has also developed a newsletter to address the many questions he receives. To find out more visit www.spiritinsight.com.au
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sydney | winter 2018 | Offspring 35
Why parents need to be in charge BY DR. VANESSA LAPOINTE, R. PSYCH.
We all have challenges with getting the mix right between child discipline and nurturing support. Dr. Vanessa Lapointe provides refreshing advice on how to get it right as parents, so we can give our children the enduring love they need under a bigger, stronger foundation from which they can depend and feel safe.
W
created for the child is one of emotional rest, created by caring adults who are simultaneously in charge and full of compassion. Knowing you are meant to foster attachment and connection with your children, you don’t want to mess that up. So you bend over backwards to keep them happy, to make sure you don’t rock
e all want to grow up happy, well-adjusted
the boat too much, to prevent experiences of upset. Oh the angst! At
children who find their way in the world.
some point in all of this the child cannot help but wonder, “Does my
The “parenting” world is meant to inspire
big person really have this?” An adult being able to manifest an in-
our journey as big people in the shepherding
charge kind of energy doesn’t really fit with an adult who is thrust
of our littles along such a path. Yet, while it is true that being informed in the raising up of your children can be a wonderfully
36
hearts to grow exactly as nature intended. The crucial experience
into a storm of angst over how to parent their child. Angst-y parent energy ultimately undermines what the
helpful thing, it can also create the backlash of having you
child actually needs. This is what I call the seedy underbelly of
question whether or not you really know what you are doing.
attachment parenting. It is the slippery slope that comes with
It is at this point that angst can creep into our parenting
longing to do right by your children according to the science of
dynamic and begin to interrupt our children’s growth. This is
child development, and in the process, surrendering the natural
perhaps no more true than in the world of attachment-based
hierarchy of the adult-child relationship. Children need their big
parenting. The science of child development has very clearly
people to indeed be BIG. If you shrink to the fear-based reality of
revealed that children absolutely need to marinate in an
molly-coddling, happiness-at-all-costs, anxiety-driven parenting,
environment of connection in order for their brains and their
you are not at all in charge. In fact, quite the reverse. You are more
Offspring | winter 2018 | sydney
www.offspringmagazine.com.au
likely being lead by your child and running to keep up from behind. How does today’s parent avoid
1
Do not confuse being firm with being mean. With the increasing awareness of the importance of attachment to healthy child development, parents can
falling into the trap of parenting
sometimes feel trapped into being a bit of a doormat for their
from a weak place of angst rather
kids. The thinking is that being firm, having boundaries, and
than a powerful place of confidence? Before rushing in to figure out what to do
establishing expectations doesn’t fit with attachment parenting. This could not be further from the truth! The caring, compassionate, in-charge parent oozes energy that
about all of this, consider,
is absolutely firm, full of boundaries and has high expectations.
as Dr. Wayne Dyer said,
Having a big voice or an unwavering presence is not the same thing
that “we are human beings,
as being mean. Rather, it is one of the loveliest things you can do
not human doings”. So
for a growing child.
rather than focusing on the concretes of what to do, it might actually first be more helpful to focus on how to BE. To support this, I have
2
Know that you do not need your child to love you. In the pursuit of what renowned psychologist Dr. Gordon Neufeld calls “right relationship” with your children, be
very aware that you do not need your child to love you. Right relationship is all about parents being in the lead position, and
developed a three-part
children being able to lean into the support of that very in-charge
mantra for all parents to use
parent. When you concern yourself with whether or not your
as the foundation of how they
child will like you or be pleased with you, you sell out on your
act and react moment to moment. The
inchargeness.
mantra is: “See it, Feel it, Be it.” See it simply involves observing the moment from a very present kind of place without assigning judgement
3
Do not look to your children as a source of your happiness. Your children are not here to care take of your feelings. We do not have children to be happy. Instead, we
or value. It might be that you see
have children because of the gift inherent to that relationship. This
your child crying, hitting someone, or
gift is that you have to grow yourself in order to grow a child. Your
not doing what was asked of them.
growth is to be aware of the programs that are being triggered
From there, move to Feel
inside of you (shame, lack, etc.) as you parent your child, and to
it. This is where you put
then go inside yourself so that these things may be addressed.
At some point in all of this the child cannot help but wonder, “Does my big person really have this?”
yourself inside the heart
Very few among us will actually do this difficult work outside the
and mind of your child
experience of being parents. We do for our children what we often
and really understand
wouldn’t do for ourselves. It is nature’s way.
empathically what is happening for them. Once you have landed there, you can then see the world through your child’s eyes and… Be it
for them. It is in this place of BEing that we land with what to do. That will look very different for every parent and child from moment
4
Be the provider and never the pursuer. In the context of the parent-child attachment relationship, it is the parent’s job to be the provider of contact, closeness and connection,
and it is the child’s job to be the seeker. Never, ever, should the two positions be reversed. If the child begins to step into the role of provider, it will become quite impossible to grow them up. You cannot be in the lead of a child who is in the lead of you. So, you take care, fix, mend and provide, regardless of the circumstances.
to moment. There is nothing about the human condition that can be scripted precisely. In fact, in scripting anything, you abandon your BEing to get to the DOing. Eckhart Tolle describes the difference between knowing about
5
Get your swagger on. Above all, as a parent you have got to have swagger – that intangible and all-powerful way of BEing that will have your child absolutely believing in you.
something and knowing something. It is the difference between
It isn’t that you have to KNOW all the answers. Rather that you
knowing about your child and knowing your child. The drive to
must BE the answer. And this is something that comes from deep
“know about” divorces you from the essence of simply “knowing.”
down inside the core of who you are. It is the look in your eyes, the
It is in the simplicity of knowing that you find your being.
tone of your voice, the posture with which you carry yourself, the
To bring this all to life in your day to day world, here are some ideas about how to BE the kind of big person that is beautifully
certainty with which you declare something. Swagger is where it is at for any parent who truly wants to be in charge.
in charge: www.offspringmagazine.com.au
sydney | winter 2018 | Offspring
37
So, the next time you feel that angst-y urge to google something about what is happening for your child and what you should be doing about that, pause for a moment and go inside yourself first. How big are you? How sure are you that you are your child’s very best bet? What is the
Angst-y parent energy ultimately undermines what the child actually needs. This is what I call the seedy underbelly of attachment parenting.
invitation here for you as a person? How can you BE for your child who is depending on you? Then square up your shoulders, take a deep, powerful breath and STEP IN. Step into your power, compassion, and humanity as the very large, very in charge parent that you are.
To follow Vanessa visit www.drvanessalapointe.com IG: dr.vanessalapointe Facebook: @drvanessalapointe Twitter: @DrVLapointe Vanessa’s latest book Discipline Without Damage can be purchased at www.maggiedent.com/shop/books/ discipline-without-damage/
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38
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Chinese-Australian mother stands up against racism
Self-titled as “stubborn”, Lisa’s determination and
Chinese-Australian mother-oftwo, Lisa Chappell, is making headlines for her battle against Johnny’s Burger Joint and their ‘Ching Chong Burger’.
passion shines as she states, “I think now in the age of political correctness, it is inappropriate to be using words such as ‘Ching-Chong’.” “I don’t care that Johnny is
By JENNY PANG
L
Asian. If anything, it is worse to me that he is using that, being
isa Chappell, 38 year-old Chinese-Australian in
Asian himself…to be negative to his own race.” She adds, “If he is
Canning Vale, Perth, had been enjoying a family
using that term and if he thinks it’s okay, then it opens a whole can
outing with her two children, husband and mother-
of worms for other people to use it as well.”
in-law when she spotted the ‘Asian-inspired’ burger
on the menu. Despite feeling “disgusted, annoyed and angry,” she felt it was too late to leave as they had already ordered drinks and the kids were hungry. Instead, she talked to an employee at the restaurant who apologised and promised to let the owner know. John Wong, the Malaysian owner of the restaurant, finally returned one of Lisa’s calls, only to refuse her suggestion to change the name. Instead, he claimed that ‘Ching Chong’ was a “direct translation” of ‘authentic’ in Cantonese. Sceptical of this claim, Lisa investigated to discover that it was not a translation. Instead, ‘Ching Chong’ remained only what she
Her immediate short-term objective consists of getting Johnny to rename the burger, which she considered the “main goal”. As for long-term aims, she turns to “the bigger picture of political correctness. As a community, [these terms] shouldn’t be accepted.” Reflecting on her position as a mother of two, Lisa also states, “I absolutely believe that being a mother has influenced my decision to fight this because I don’t want my kids to grow up in a society where terms like that are still acceptable to be used.” “I’ve been drumming into both my kids: You’ve got to stand up for yourself, you’ve got to stand up for people who can’t stand up for themselves. You see something you don’t believe is right, you need to stand up and do something about it.” n
had recognised it for: a pejorative slur used to mock the Chinese language and other people of East-Asian descent. This propelled Lisa to start a petition on change.org, demanding the burger name to be changed. On her page, she wrote, “Johnny’s Burger Joint serves up an extra side dish that is frowned upon by many. Racism!!” www.offspringmagazine.com.au
You, too, can sign Lisa’s petition here: www.change.org/p/johnny-s-burger-jointremove-your-offensive-ching-chong-burger
sydney | winter 2018 | Offspring 39
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Your maternity care Are you pregnant or planning a pregnancy? Choosing your maternity care is a very important decision to ensure you make the best choice for you and your baby. By BROOKE EVANS-BUTLER
F
inding out you are going to be a parent is a very exciting time, but it can also be a little overwhelming when you are faced with making decisions about your maternity care. We take a look at some options available.
Private care.
If you have maternity care included in your private health package, you may wish to choose private care for you and your baby. If you receive care through the private system, you choose a private obstetrician, who will care for you from your antenatal appointments, right through to the birth and postnatal check-up. Dr Stephen Lane, president of the National Association of Specialist Obstetricians and Gynaecologists (NASOG), says in the private system, the baby is delivered by very experienced care givers, with obstetricians going through six or more years of
In the private system, the baby is delivered by very experienced care givers, with obstetricians going through six or more years of specialist training, on top of their five or six-year medical degree.
specialist training, on top of their five or six-year medical degree. He says the most common reason many people choose to have a private obstetrician is continuity of care.
www.offspringmagazine.com.au
sydney | winter 2018 | Offspring 41
Katie Lavercombe says she chose a private hospital because she wanted to be able to access any pain relief that she wanted during childbirth and was afraid her wishes might not be respected at a public hospital. “I loved giving birth at a private hospital, the care was great, it was never too busy, and the staff were attentive,” she says. “We loved being able to stay together as a couple and have time to bond with each new baby.” Katie is currently pregnant with her fourth child and does not have the right level of cover to choose a private hospital this time, so is receiving care through the public system. “We are utilising the public system, and while it is full of hard working doctors and midwives, there are long wait times at each appointment, meaning a large chunk of my time is taken up by waiting for medical appointments,” she says.
!
NOTE: Ask about your chosen obstetrician’s fee schedule and check with your health cover provider to find out exactly what is covered so you can be prepared for any out-of-pocket expenses.
Dr Lane says some considerations expectant parents think about when choosing an obstetrician include:
✪ Gender (for some women, choosing a female obstetrician is important).
✪ Location (“Is there a suitable carpark that is accessible? Are the rooms easy to get to? I think these things are important to consider,” says Dr Lane).
✪ The obstetrician’s desk staff (“If the desk staff are friendly and approachable that is a good sign,” Dr Lane says. “It gives a good feel that they are a mirror of the person you will be seeing.”).
!
NOTE: Most private health providers will have a waiting period for obstetrics (which can be around 12 months) so you will likely need to have obstetrics as part of your health insurance policy before you fall pregnant.
✪ Cost (Dr Lane says the majority of obstetricians and gynaecologists in Australia charge well below the Australian Medical Association’s rates, with the average out-of-pocket cost for delivering a baby throughout Australia around $2000). “Australia is recognised as one of the safest countries in the world to have a baby, and this is a reflection of the world class education our specialist obstetricians and gynaecologists undertake, with many completing more than 12 years of study and training,” he says. “NASOG believes that the care provided by specialist obstetricians and gynaecologists is worth every cent to the patients who enjoy improved health outcomes as a result of our professional care.” 42 Offspring | winter 2018 | sydney
www.offspringmagazine.com.au
Multiple pregnancies
If you are having twins, or if you are classified as having a high-risk pregnancy for another reason, is it important to get advice about the best maternity care choice for you and your baby (or babies).
“A lot of my first-time parent friends seemed to choose private obstetricians and private hospitals, however, most said that if they had a second child they would just go public,” Naomi says.
Naomi Dorland, originally wanted to give birth in a birthing centre, but says when she found out she was expecting twins she was not allowed to use the birth centre.
“I did look at our local private hospital, but they (couldn’t) birth babies under 32 weeks, nor did they have a NICU. Even if I did make it to 32 weeks, if they needed NICU time there was every chance there would not be two NICU cots available at the same hospital. “So absolute worst case scenario, we would have one baby at one hospital, another at another and then me still at the private hospital. That was all too hard to fathom, so we decided to just go through the local public hospital.
TH
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T
D SLEEP INE
IS
TRA
“I could not fault their care. I did see a lot of registrars, so my care provider was never really consistent, but I was able to ask to speak to their Superior at any time, and I did have him for several of my appointments.”
E RAP
sydney | winter 2018 | Offspring 43
Public care. Public hospitals offer great care for mothers and their babies and is a very affordable option for those with an Australian Medicare card. Unlike the private system, you don’t usually get much choice when it comes to the hospital you go to for your delivery. Often, a woman will be referred to her closest public hospital. Crystal Henderson decided to have her daughter at a public hospital because her GP recommended it. “We had planned to go Private, but when he recommended it, along with many of our friends, who shared their very positive birth stories after giving birth in public hospitals, we thought we should at least look at it,” she says. “When we went to the public hospital, and they took us through the rooms and birth suites, we were blown away.” Ms Henderson says she was very happy with the care she received. “There (were) some minor complications during the labour and I needed extra medical assistance, however I felt very safe, in control and informed of everything the whole time,” she says.
There were some minor complications during the labour and I needed extra medical assistance, however I felt very safe, in control and informed of everything the whole time.
Shared antenatal care. If you have a great relationship with your trusted family GP, then shared antenatal care might be an option to consider. In a nutshell, antenatal shared care involves a woman’s appointments being shared between maternity care providers (usually GPs, midwives and obstetricians), and is most commonly between a GP and maternity staff in a public hospital. Dr Wendy Burton, chair of The Royal Australian College of General Practitioners’ antenatal/ postnatal care specific interest group, says women choose to have shared antenatal care with their GP for a number of reasons. “They may have a good relationship with their GP and are confident that they will be well taken care of,” she says. “The GP’s rooms may be closer or more convenient than the hospital/obstetrician or GPs may work extended hours, making appointments easier to plan around work commitments. “The best models of shared antenatal care involve a
Antenatal shared care involves a woman’s appointments being shared between maternity care providers - usually GPs, midwives and obstetricians.
collaborative team effort with well-informed GPs communicating effectively and efficiently with the other providers of care,” she adds. “If your usual GP is not up-to-date with current best practice for antenatal care, they may be able to recommend another GP who is better placed to provide care for you. Work is currently underway to create digital records and an app for women, which will give additional options for the sharing of the pregnancy health record.”
44 Offspring | winter 2018 | sydney
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Your support Who will be your support person when you welcome your baby into the world? Many women will choose a partner, family member (such as their Mum) or a close friend to be their support person. However, there are some options to consider. For example, a midwifery student is a good choice. They will attend antenatal appointments with you and, if you consent, can also attend the birth. Another support option is a doula (a professional, non-medical birth and/or postnatal companion who is able to provide continuity of care, and emotional and physical support during pregnancy, birth and the postpartum period). Michelle Perkins, chairperson of Australian Doulas, says many women hire a doula after experiencing a negative or traumatic previous birth experience. “Some hire a doula to help them understand the maternity/obstetric systems. Some hire a doula to provide emotional and physical support if they do not have a partner, or if they believe their partner may also need support and guidance.�
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Second time was much easier – four hours of active labour and my baby was born in to the water, straight into my arms and onto my chest.
midwife attend shortly before my babies were born. For my first birth, I was also supported by a private obstetrician. I saw her a few times during pregnancy and she
was open to supporting me, if I needed to transfer to hospital, if I needed more medical support from home.” She says her experiences were wonderful and empowering. “My first birth was very tough, long and in the end, I did transfer to the private hospital with my obstetrician, as I had a long second stage. In the end, I had an episiotomy, which couldn’t be done at home. This was handled beautifully by my midwives and by my obstetrician. I spent about 30 minutes continuing to labour in the private hospital, once I arrived, then we all discussed the option to do an episiotomy. I consented and this was done well. I
Nearly a decade of a sustained witch hunt against homebirth midwives has meant that midwives in private practice are scarce, and book out early.
felt wonderful when my baby arrived, despite 18 hours of active labour and a previous night of no labour.” “Second time was much easier – four hours of active labour and my baby was born in to the water, straight into my arms and onto my chest.” n
Home birth. Do you want to have your baby at home? Grace Sweeney, coordinator, Homebirth Australia, says a woman who chooses to birth at home is guaranteed to receive continuity of care from a known midwife. Ms Sweeney says the most important thing that a woman considering homebirth needs to do is to seek out a midwife as soon as possible. “Nearly a decade of a sustained witch hunt against homebirth midwives has meant that midwives in private practice are scarce, and book out early,” she says. “It’s worth doing research on midwives in your area before you’re pregnant and making a booking as soon as your pregnancy is confirmed.” Dr Lane says NASOG does not support home births in Australia. Sarah Purvey decided she wanted a homebirth for her first child. “I had two private midwives,” Sarah says, when asked about her care. “A primary midwife came to my house regularly in pregnancy, so I built a very close relationship with her in that time and all the options for tests and injections were managed by her, with my consent and our discussions about them first. My primary midwife was there during the birth and then I had a second 46 Offspring | winter 2018 | sydney
www.offspringmagazine.com.au
The St John of God Mother-Baby Unit helps emotionally distressed mums become the best parents they can. Becoming a parent is a time of enormous adjustment - for many it is a time of joy but for some, it brings feelings of anxiety and depression.
T
he St John of God Mother-Baby Unit (MBU) in Burwood works closely with mothers struggling with postnatal anxiety and depression, to begin their journey to recovery and gain confidence caring for their baby. Partners who may also be struggling emotionally, or need guidance in how best to support the new mother and baby (up to 12 months), are very much part of the approach to care.
The MBU provides specialist care from a team of doctors, psychologists and parent craft nurses. Most mothers and their babies stay for a three-week admission and, during this time, a care plan is developed with the mother including group therapy, medication if needed, and assists with sleep and feeding issues and mother-baby bonding.
Planning for psychological care post discharge is important, and mothers can continue being seen at the clinic, and also attend the PND group programs. A GP referral letter is required for admission to the MBU. Most health insurance funds cover the cost of these programs, depending on the level of individual cover. Visit www.sjog.org.au/burwood to learn more about the Mother and Baby Unit.
Research tells us... SYMPTOMS
1in 5 women experience a mental health issue within the 1st year after child birth.1
For more information on the referral process please contact:
T: 02 9715 9200
T: 02 9715 9200
Feeling sad, anxious, angry, lonely or hopeless Not bonding with baby Inability to cope or make decisions Sense of panic Distressing thoughts Sleep and appetite disturbances Exhaustion
TREATMENT With proper support and treatment most women recover fully. Holistic practical and psychological support from a perinatal specialist team is vital. Contact St John of God Burwood Hospital specialist inpatient and outpatient services.
1. Gavin N, Gaynes B, Lohr K, Meltzer- Brody S, Gartlehner G, & Swinson T, (2005) Perinatal depression: A systematic review of prevalence and incidence. Obstetrics and Gynecology, 106 (5, Pt. 1), 1071–1083
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How to be a Mindful parent Entering a child’s world and engaging with them in the moment is a natural, and highly effective way, to practice Mindfulness as a parent. By DR ELISE BIALYLEW
A
One key attitude in the practise of mindfulness is the ‘beginner’s mind’. This is the ability to bring a freshness to your experience, seeing things ‘as if for the first time’, which allows you to drop your assumptions, ideas and desires, and instead be completely open to your experience. I’m often reminded of
s humans we have a unique evolutionary
this quality by my two-year-old daughter. When I took her to the
advantage, with minds that can project into
snow for the first time, she became completely absorbed in her
the future, solve complex problems and
exploration. In mindfulness we’re invited to bring this quality of
generate creative ideas that transform what
attention and curiosity to our meditation practice.
is possible. However, this unique talent comes
at a cost. With minds that are free to time travel between past, present and future, we get excessively caught up in future thinking that creates unnecessary worry in our lives. But, in its most cultivated form, the mind can be a resource for our deepest happiness, and for the flourishing of
Through beginner’s mind, the fog of ‘ordinary’ starts to lift, and we see our lives with freshness and delight. Rather than seeing what we think is there, we see what is actually there. This new way of seeing opens us to new possibilities as we step out of our self-limiting assumptions, beliefs and habits. Imagine how bringing a
all humanity – and the planet. We are
beginner’s mind to just one day
only just beginning to understand the
of your life could change how
potential impact that meditation can
you experience your family,
have on the brain, but what is clear
friends, work and the many
is that mindfulness, when practiced
aspects of your day.
regularly, can lead to long-lasting transformation. 48 Offspring | winter 2018 | sydney
Life can get so busy that it’s easy to take the people closest www.offspringmagazine.com.au
These days my daughter is my main teacher as I navigate the extended, not-so-silent mindfulness meditation retreat that is motherhood.
to us for granted, and not be truly present to them. The ‘beginner’s mind’ that we practise through mindfulness reminds us to wake up and experience the preciousness of those around us. Beginner’s mind helps me cut through the sometimes monotonous daily routine of motherhood and experience precious moments where my full presence meets my daughter’s, and
I’m moved to tears. Looking into the deep, dark-brown eyes of this little girl, I’m overwhelmed by her purity and innocence, and the complete miracle of her existence. I’m aware that she is still very close to an original, non-separate consciousness that connects all living things; the incomprehensible intelligence of life is peering out at me, the intelligence that has transformed itself from an embryo into a complex human being. Children are a potent source of mindfulness. These days my daughter is my main teacher as I navigate the extended, not-sosilent mindfulness meditation retreat that is motherhood. Some nights after book time, I lie with her and we meditate together.
The fog of ‘ordinary’ starts to lift, and we see our lives with freshness and delight. Rather than seeing what we think is there, we see what is actually there.
www.offspringmagazine.com.au
I’ve introduced her to the concept of meditation, experimenting with how much she can understand of the practice. We watch a teddy move up and down on her belly as she breathes, and she giggles with delight. Then we do a few Om chants together – there is nothing religious in this chant, we’re just enjoying the sound
sydney | winter 2018 | Offspring 49
The most precious gift we can offer anyone is our attention. Whenmindfulness embraces those we love they bloom life flowers. Thich Nhat Hanh
Here’s an exercise to practice stepping into ‘beginner’s mind’ with your child, amplifying your presence as a parent. This practice can be explored with toddlers as well as older children.
1
Decide on a time of the day when you have 20 minutes and dedicate this time to being fully present to your child and activating your curiosity.
of singing in unison. We chant, ‘Om, Om, Om,’ as we gaze into each other’s eyes. To enjoy this stillness with a toddler feels almost holy, a rare moment, as we manage to maintain eye contact for a few minutes. In these moments it often occurs to me that my partner, my parents, all the people in my life and the strangers I walk past in the street are also mysterious living, breathing expressions of consciousness. Yet somehow, as we get older, it gets harder to maintain this wonder about one another, this beginner’s mind. Somehow the complete innocence of my daughter seems to be a direct line to presence and pure consciousness. It’s this exact quality of being that we try to return to through the practice of meditation. n
2
Ask your child what they would like to do and follow their lead over this 20-minute period without suggesting other options (assuming of course what they are suggesting is safe).
3
As you engage with your child see them as if for the very first time. Notice the tone of their voice. Notice whether or not they make eye contact. Notice the different facial expressions as you engage in this activity. Notice your tendency to want to suggest something other than what they are suggesting. Bring awareness to your own emotional state: notice if there is joy, impatience, a tendency to think about all the things you need to do, then bring your attention back to your child. Notice all the details of their physical appearance as if you were going to draw them.
4
After the exercise find some time later in the day to journal about your experience. Reflect on these questions: l What was it like to engage with your child in this way? l How was it different to how you normally interact with your child? l What did you notice about your child? l What did you notice about yourself?
DR ELISE BIALYLEW (pictured left) is the author of The Happiness Plan (Affirm Press, $24.99) and the founder of Mindful in May, the largest online global mindfulness fundraising campaign that features the world’s leading experts and raises funds for clean water projects in the developing world. A doctor trained in psychiatry, and a mindfulness expert, she’s passionate about supporting individuals and organisations to develop inner tools for greater wellbeing and flourishing. 50 Offspring | winter 2018 | sydney
www.offspringmagazine.com.au
: t s e W e n i e l Made h Sheedy
By Rebeka
Actress, and now children’s author, Madeleine West, may have her hands full as a mum of six, but she’s not about to let it stop her from setting out to achieve her career and personal goals, including releasing her new children’s book series.
F
or almost 18 years, Madeleine West has been gracing our television screens. Most memorably, she played fan-favourite Dee Bliss in Neighbours and boasts an impressive filmography, with appearances in Australian household shows such as House Husbands, Underbelly and The Wrong Girl. But what you might not know about West (37), is that she is a super busy mum raising six children: Phoenix (12), Hendrix (10), Xascha (7), Xanthe
one extracurricular activity per term which are important to everyday function of the family. “It has been difficult [to juggle family life and career],” she says. “But no more difficult than any other challenges that life throws your way. It doesn’t matter how many
“It doesn’t matter how many children you have, whether it’s one or twenty, their purpose on this planet is to turn your life upside down and give it a good hard shake, and empty your wallet.” (6), and twins, Xalia and Margaux (3) with her partner of 13 years, Vue de Monde restaurateur and regular MasterChef guest judge, Shannon Bennett. And with six children and two big careers, it often means that near superhuman feats of patience, strength and organisation are required. West says, for her, it is the little things, like keeping track of multiple To-do lists, having ‘backup’ school lunches organised, and only allowing her children to pick www.offspringmagazine.com.au
children you have, whether it’s one or twenty, their purpose on this planet is to turn your life upside down and give it a good hard shake, and empty your wallet, but to accept that, you can accept all the amazing joys that they bring to your life.” “It’s about balancing schedules, being extremely organised and just being aware there has to be some give and take, … [and] not having unrealistic expectations.” But West believes that “nobody sydney | winter 2018 | Offspring
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should be scared of ambition”. Her own motto is “don’t make excuses, make it happen”, which she made up herself when she realised that achieving her ambitions means “being brave enough to take opportunities that comes your way, and taking risks at times”. “Everybody has dreams and ambitions—even as mums. The onus is on us to fulfil them.” And, for West, being able to work on her projects is about being able to carve out little pockets from amongst the chaos. “It is about finding ways to do what we are passionate about, the things that keep you sane”. “I have always been a creative person, and to be the best version of myself I can be, I need to give time to that. I have always explained that to my kids from a very young age that, ‘I am Madeleine, your mummy’," but that I am also ‘Madeleine, Shannon’s partner’, ‘Madeleine, the actor’, ‘Madeleine, the writer’ and ‘Madeleine, who likes to bake cupcakes’… they are all parts of me, they make up me and to be the best mum I can be, I need to give a bit oxygen to all of those things”. West’s creativity is certainly evident in her love for stories and storytelling which has led to her newest endeavour, the children’s book series, Lily D V.A.P. West has long-held a deep desire to write, even writing short stories throughout her time studying Law and Literature at The University of Melbourne. “A famous quote that my friends often quote back at me is that I say, ‘Words have incredible power, and if you treat them with respect, they give you a voice’.” “It’s such a beautiful, powerful medium that I pray will never be replaced by social media or screen time”. The series, which was published in May by Hardie Grant Egmont and illustrated beautifully by Joanie Stone, features many constant recurring
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themes for West’s own life, including her drive and ambition for meaningful accomplishments. “At the heart of good writing is writing what you know. It’s important to harness on what you know and what you have experienced in life, in order to pass on that knowledge.” And West’s new series certainly has a lot of knowledge to pass on. West says, that as a mother of six, she wanted to challenge the expectations of contemporary fame and celebrity culture, and was inspired to write a children’s book series that helps teach children that success comes through hard work and respect. “I wanted to create a fictional character that wants to be in the entertainment industry, but for all the right reasons, and that is to tell people’s stories, and to walk a mile in another person’s shoes… because with that comes what I believe is the most important lesson we can teach our children, the greatest gift we can give in this world, is to treat others with respect and kindness.” “And it’s about achieving that special sense of satisfaction when you work hard to achieve your goals.” “These are traits that I feel have kind of gone missing in the modern age. It is nice to hark back to these themes and give them some emphasis again.” Madeleine was also inspired to a write a series that allows parents to, very gently and organically, open a discussion with their children about social issues that they face, such as bullying, illness and death. “I am hoping that I am providing parents with a vehicle to help them dive into these more awkward conversations, through the medium of a children’s book.” And despite how busy life with six children continues to be, West says that this is not the last time we will see Lily D V.A.P, with three more books in the series due to come out later this year.
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p u d e l o o Sch BY BROOKE EVANS-BUTLER
How do you choose the best school for your child? We look at the options so you can make an informed choice.
C
hoosing a school
I chose a local public School
for your child is a big decision. After all, your child will be
Kate Freebairn’s eldest boy attends the local public school. “We could have sent him to the local private school, but we are not Catholic so it didn’t seem like the right choice.” “Given that other schools are at least 20 minutes away, we were happy to choose the local public school. Living in a country town, perhaps we are lucky that the public school is still quite small so I know he is getting the attention he needs.”
spending a large amount of their time there, so you want to ensure you choose an environment where your child will not only be happy but will be supported to reach their full potential.
Government/public education
C
hoosing public education is a very popular option in Australia and for good
the street. If you choose a Government education, chances are you will not get to choose which Government school your child attends, as most Government schools have a set ‘enrolment zone’ so your eligibility will be determined by which zone your address falls into. Check with your local school about their enrolment requirements.
decisions at a local level.
Independent schools
T
here is a wide range of schools within the
which includes Christian,
education, and chances are, your local as across the road or just down
Government schools that have increased autonomy to make
Independent school sector,
reason – the schools offer a high standard of public school might be as close
There are also Independent public schools, which are
non-denominational Christian, Jewish,
I chose a independent School Last year, Nicole Ashby says she took her two younger children (Grade 2 and Grade 5), and placed them into a much smaller school that offers more autonomy and freedom, but still teaches under the Education curriculum. “I found my 10-year-old son was feeling heavily burdened by the pressure of large classes and having to conform, and my 7-year-old thought her year 2 teacher hated her.” “Since moving schools, both of my kids are so much happier, contented and confident. It has made such a dramatic difference.”
Steiner, Montessori, Islamic and Community schools. According to the Independent Schools Council of Australia, Independent schools have a reputation as providers of quality education. The schools are not-for-profit entities and have their own boards or management committees. Many Independent schools are religious-affiliated. School fees vary within the Independent school sector. sydney | winter 2018 | Offspring
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Government schools, plus a wide selection of electives, sporting and creative arts programs. “An important difference is that Catholic schools provide their curriculum through a Catholic perspective and also provide the opportunity for students to learn more about the Catholic faith through Religious Education, and to experience their faith through regular prayer, special liturgies and the celebration of the sacraments,” Mr Collins says. “Catholic schools are known for the quality of their teaching and pastoral care programs, which means students are not
I chose a Catholic School Catholic Education
R
ay Collins, acting executive director of the National
Catholic Education Commission, says Catholic schools are faith-based schools that offer parents the choice to send their children to a school that
only challenged in their learning but are equally supported in their social and
Sara Capacci had originally planned to attend her local public school until she went and checked the school out. “Every child’s needs are different.” “My child is introvert and I know for sure, a loving and calm environment is important for him to feel safe and shine academically. The local public school might be great, but it is really big with lots of student and it would have been overwhelming for him.”
emotional development.” Mr Collins says the majority of Catholic schools belong to a system of schools and charge lower fees to make them as affordable and accessible to families as possible. He says Catholic schools also provide a range of scholarships and fee assistance to support
aligns with their values and beliefs. He adds,
families in financial hardship.
Catholic schools offer the same curriculum as
Experienced Storytellers.
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K
U Children’s Services is one of the largest not-for-profit providers of early childhood education and care and has around 140 centres across NSW, ACT, VIC & QLD. Established in 1895, KU draws on more than 120 years of experience and enriches the lives of more than 13,000 children each year. KU is one of Australia’s most experienced and respected providers and creates opportunities that encourage children to connect, wonder, explore and discover. KU Services include preschools, long day care, vacation care, family programs and other early childhood education services. Find your nearest KU centre at www.ku.com.au
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Children learn through experience and play. At KU, we encourage children to connect, wonder, explore and discover. We create experiences, so they go further.
Experience the KU difference
Enrol at a KU centre nearby
ku.com.au
I chose to Home School Renae Smith says she chose to home school so her family could travel whenever they wanted (they are from New South Wales, but currently in France). “My children have spent the past six months seeing the world and learning first-hand about the struggles of the world, how to convert currency, geography, learning languages, time management etc,” she says. To parents considering home schooling, Renae says it is hard, spending four to five hours a day teaching her two children (in years 9 and 10). “It’s hard and I often think it’s too hard, but then I look at how much they’ve grown seeing the world and it’s all worth it.”
Some things to consider when choosing a school for your child: Location. If your chosen school is out of your neighbourhood, it is important to consider the travel time required to get to and from school. l
The school’s uniform requirements.
l
Home education
If your child has a special interest, such as music or sport, you might want to consider a school that offers specialised programs. l
M
yfanwy Dibben, committee member for the Home Education Association, says many parents decide
to Home School their children before their children reach compulsory school age. “Some find they need to withdraw their child from school because the child’s educational and developmental needs are not being met in the classroom. “Among these, Special
The cost. The expense of fees, uniforms and additional requirements can vary considerably between schools. l
OT &
CHILD Hand writing approved Attention span Fine motor Problem solving Independent learning Hand-eye coordination...
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Needs feature largely, both for children who are accelerated in their learning and those who struggle to learn using the methods and resources used by their teachers. Anxiety and depression, often associated with unresolved bullying at school, are increasingly being cited by parents inquiring about Home Education.” Ms Dibben says, in addition to the Home Education Association, there are state-based associations, as well as hundreds of online home education support groups to help parents find resources and information to help their children learn at home.
Steiner education
V
irginia Moller, CEO of Steiner Education
Australia, explains that based on a holistic and integrated approach, a Steiner education aims to nurture and develop the unique qualities and
I chose a Steiner School Kim Mears says they had always considered a Steiner education for their daughter. “We lived overseas in developing countries and felt she had a freedom in those younger years, she would lose at a State school,” she says. “As it turns out she was also quite artistic and we loved the focus in Steiner on art and creativity and critical thinking. We felt it suited her nature. She gets to really be a kid, get dirty, pick mulberries, make decisions herself, learn woodwork, and become a well-rounded child.”
capabilities of each child.
“It seeks to lead students towards healthy sea-knowledge, as well as deep understanding of the world they live in, so they can be positive, creative and resilient citizens who can envision a future which they believe they can help create,” she says. “This is achieved through balancing academic, artistic and practical
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I chose a Montessori School
life experiences throughout the Steiner curriculum, which is designed to bring thinking to life through imaginative teaching.” Ms Moller says some of the advantages of sending a child to a Steiner school include: l
High standards, but less pressure
l
Integrated approach with focus on teaching through the arts
l
Sense of connectedness to self, to the environment, to the
past, present and future.
Lu Sekerkova says she heard about Montessori by chance and went for an ‘observation’ (a Montessori-style tour) of the junior classroom. “We were blown away with how the environment is structured to encourage independence and to enable the children to explore their abilities.” “We were surprised how a full room of such young children can be busy but calm, productive and full of intentional ‘work’ (such as cooking, cleaning, gardening, self-care, reading, basic arithmetic, play etc). The philosophy of ‘the love of learning’ also really resonated with us and we wanted our daughter to develop that.”
Montessori education
V
ictoria Marshall-Cerins, Chief Operating Officer of Montessori Australia Foundation
says Montessori is a wider approach to human development. Their education program, which focusses on independence, has an individualised learning approach, where children (who are in multi-
ENROLLING NOW FOR 2019 Apply now for Preschool, Kindergarten, Year 3 and Year 5 St Ives Prep is a unique educational environment, ideal for lively boys who are intellectually curious, creative and enthusiastic about learning.
Our school buses cover large areas of the North Shore and the Northern Beaches.
Boys in Preschool to Year 6 are nurtured and challenged in music, sport, drama, science, literacy, numeracy, languages and more.
Visit our beautiful school on one of the regular School Tours.
St Ives Prep prepares boys for entry to Sydney Grammar School in the city.
Come and see for yourself
Please phone Rowena Lee on 8302 5218 or email enrolments@sydgram.nsw.edu.au for more information.
St Ives Preparatory School 11-21 Ayres Road St Ives NSW 2075 Telephone +61 2 8302 5200 www.sydgram.nsw.edu.au/stives 13753_SGS_StIves_OffspringMag_Ad_052018_FA.indd 1
17/05/2018 10:03 am
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I chose a Christian School n Debra Balhatchet chose a Christia us ting put is “It . son her school for it will backwards financially, but we feel ” life. in put him forward their “A lot of my friends home school t quie this into ed look I kids and I day the of end the at but ly, ous seri son my g think I would be doin an injustice schooling him myself.”
how to follow a sequence of steps, how to concentrate on a task and to complete the task. They start with something simple and as their ability grows, more activities are introduced to fit those needs.” Ms Marshall-Cerins advises that parents ensure when they are considering a school or centre they look for one that it is ‘Montessori Registered’ through the Montessori Quality Assurance Programme (MQAP).”
age classrooms) are provided with education materials, which they explore at their own pace. “The educator’s role is to provide the children with the materials and observe the children’s own insights and capability,” she says. “The materials given to the younger children (three to six years) enable children to learn how to do things for themselves – for example, wiping a table.” “However, they are also learning
Creativity, learning and imagination, forefront at Newington. Newington College has opened one of the Inner West’s best early learning centres in Cambridge Street, Stanmore.
N
ewington’s ELC caters for three and four-year-old boys and girls. It has capacity for 60 children and was designed with Early Learning experts to incorporate educational play areas, quiet zones and outdoor spaces to excite inquisitive minds. It embraces the Reggio Emilio philosophy, providing a well-balanced program of explicit teaching and childAiden Kohan, 4, dives into educational play at the Newington College Early Learning Centre.
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led investigation. The aim is to ignite curiosity and extend each child’s unique and genuine interests and wonders. Newington College ELC students Oksana Kukeski Stevanovski A favourite feature with and Jamison Connell with educator Melissa Lynch. children is a bug enclosure that houses a live praying mantis, creativity to come through. crickets, caterpillars Creativity isn’t something and grass hoppers, all The ELC has you can force: it’s of them in different been designed with something that has to stages of their life simple lines and great come from within the cycle. spaces that allows the children.” Newington’s children’s creativity to come The Director of the Headmaster, Dr through. Creativity isn’t Newington ELC is Ms David Mulford, says something you can force: Kelly Nickless, who the key word in it’s something that has has a career of more the ‘Early Learning to come from within than 20 years in early Centre’ is ‘Learning’. the children.” childhood education. She “We want a leads a team of 10 highlyplace that draws skilled educators. out creativity, For learn more about the ELC, learning and visit the Newington College website. imagination,” he says. “The ELC has To arrange a tour, contact the ELC been designed with simple lines and on 9568 9555. great spaces that allows the children’s
Changing schools mid-year John Colet School supports stability and often leads to families joining the school mid-year, but then the teachers stay with the same class for three to four years.
O
ne of the many parenting challenges is deciding whether to move your child if he or she doesn’t seem to be thriving at school. Perhaps your child is not being challenged and is getting bored, maybe you are concerned he or she is not learning to give their full attention, or perhaps you have concerns about their academic progress or social development. Even with any or all of these concerns, it’s still a hard decision for parents. John Colet understands that a change of school can have a significant impact on the continued progress of a child. One element at John Colet School that supports stability and often leads to families joining the school mid-year is that the teachers stay with the same class for three to four years. This ensures a significant impact on the connection between parents,
teacher and student and also allows for extended continuity at this formative stage of development. At John Colet School, the decision is made easier by attending trial days which give the child, and parents, the chance to fully engage with the school and their In John Colet’s prospective new teacher, enabling an experience, the informed decision. parents who make a In John Colet’s experience, the school change in this parents who make a school change manner are more in this manner are more confident confident with their with their choice and often relieved choice and often in having taken action. Similarly, their relieved in having child’s growth once settled, makes that taken action. initial tough decision so worthwhile.
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All round high standards at Cranbrook If you’re seeking an education provider, look no further than Cranbrook School.
W
ith a 100-year history of delivering excellence in education, Cranbrook School creates a strong and supportive academic and pastoral experience for girls and boys in its Pre-Schools and young men in its Junior School and Senior School. At the heart of Cranbrook’s ethos is its culture; one of supportiveness, encouragement, responsibility and celebration of diversity. These behaviours are exemplified in the encouragement of students to consistently strive to give their best and be, rather than to seem to be. This guiding principle commences at the start of the Cranbrook journey, often at PreSchool, where expert staff teach girls and boys, setting them up for success in their future schooling years. “Our 2017 boys achieved outstanding HSC results receiving 274 merits. Cranbrook’s all-round ethos is reflected in the fact that
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many of our most successful HSC candidates were not only great scholars but talented sportsmen, musicians and overall contributors to the spirit of our school.
Etched in their academic results is evidence of the other significant lessons learned during their time at Cranbrook: those such as integrity, courage, optimism and willingness.” (Nicholas Sampson, Headmaster)
Cranbrook’s all-round ethos is reflected in the fact that many of our most successful HSC candidates were not only great scholars but talented sportsmen, musicians and overall contributors to the spirit of our school
To learn how Cranbrook can provide the best start for your child, join them at their Open Days www.cranbrook. nsw.edu.au/enrolment/visit-our-school.aspx
www.offspringmagazine.com.au
CURRENTLY ENROLLING FOR 2020 Cranbrook is an Anglican Independent Day School located in the heart of Sydney’s Eastern Suburbs, catering for students Pre-school to Year 12. Our goal at Cranbrook is to create a whole individual and to prepare our students to voyage out beyond the comfortable with courage and confidence. Contact our admissions team on 02 9327 9000 or via enrol@cranbrook.nsw.edu.au
St Mark’s & St Michael’s Pre-schools Enabling boys and girls to explore, enjoy and fulfil their potential
Junior School Encouraging boys to find their identity in the pursuit of excellence
Senior School Teaching Day and Boarding boys to be independent, responsible and self-confident
Upcoming Open Days St Michael’s Pre-school 6 August 2018 St Mark’s Pre-school 7 August 2018 Junior School 8 August 2018 Senior School 21 August 2018 Join us at an Open Day or Walk & Talk Tour by visiting http://bit.ly/VisitCranbrookSchool
Cranbrook School
cranbrook_sydney
International Grammar School: Unity through Diversity International Grammar School (IGS) near Sydney’s CBD offers an extraordinary education from Preschool to Year 12, with extended hours care from 7.30am to 6pm.
F
rom as young as three years of age, students are immersed daily in an enriching languages and music program unique in Australia. Secular, coeducational and with the motto Unity Through Diversity, IGS welcomes students from diverse backgrounds. IGS values personal achievement. Limitless learning springboards off children’s personal interests. Experiencing partial bilingual immersion in Italian, Japanese, French, Chinese (Mandarin) or German, each child becomes fluent in their new language, while progressing in all Key Learning Areas. Neurological evidence indicates that learning other languages provides cognitive benefits in memory recall and problem solving tasks, as well as in depth
Experiencing
of comprehension. It enhances partial bilingual the development of social immersion in Italian, skills, deepens empathy Japanese, French, Chinese (Mandarin) or German, and offers keys to another each child becomes fluent heritage and another full set of in their new language, opportunities. while progressing in Dedicated and qualified all Key Learning Visit www. music teachers are a valued Areas. igssyd.nsw.edu. part of the vibrant IGS learning au to find out about environment at IGS. So too are the applying for entry to Kindergarten 2019 teachers of sports, creative and academic and other years, book a tour and explore education who help students make the the IGS values, community, HSC results most of their opportunities throughout the and more. years at IGS.
Uniq lang ue ua prog ges ram
A great start at
INTERNATIONAL GRAMMAR SCHOOL IGS offers an innovative, cosmopolitan, secular and coeducational learning environment from Preschool to Year 12, close to the University of Sydney, UTS and Notre Dame. Find out more and book a tour: igssyd.nsw.edu.au | 9219 6700 admissions@igssyd.nsw.edu.au
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Central location near Sydney CBD Out of hours care Exciting music and STEAM opportunities
Meriden develops well-rounded, confident and articulate young female leaders. Meriden is an academic school that offers a highquality balanced education for young women.
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“Each year approximately 94 per cent of Meriden graduates take up university offers at Sydney’s top universities as well as prominent interstate and overseas universities.”
ounded in 1897, Meriden is one of Sydney’s leading independent schools, educating girls from Pre-Kindergarten (four years of age) through to graduation in Year 12. Approximately 1,200 students attend Meriden. The size of the school enables Meriden to offer wide subject choice and an extensive range of cocurricular activities, while maintaining a steadfast focus on the individual student.
ACADEMIC PERFORMANCE Meriden has a proud record of consistently strong academic performance. Every year Meriden ranks among the top independent girls’ schools in the New South Wales Higher School Certificate, with students consistently featuring on the HSC All-Round Achiever’s List. Meriden girls are often in the top five placings in the state in a particular subject, putting them among the state’s elite academic achievers. The results of younger students in external literacy and numeracy testing far surpass the state average and their performance in state-wide individual subject competitions is equally as impressive. Meriden’s University entry levels are consistently high. Each year approximately 94 per cent of Meriden graduates take up university offers at Sydney’s top universities as well as prominent interstate and overseas universities. They study courses as diverse as medicine, law, communications, accounting, economics and the arts.
COCURRICULAR PROGRAM While academic success is the foundation of the education at Meriden, experiences in the Performing Arts, sport and numerous co-curricular activities provide a complete education. www.offspringmagazine.com.au
Meriden has a thriving Music department which aims to foster a love of music in every student and develop the skills of talented young musicians. Meriden’s musicians have performed for audiences in Europe and Asia to resounding ovation. They consistently place amongst the top performers in competitions such as the Sydney Eisteddfod. Meriden girls are given the opportunity to participate in a vast array of sports, and have represented Australia at international level in athletics, swimming, water polo and tennis. Meriden girls also make their marks in activities such as public speaking, debating, outdoor education, social justice initiatives and community service. During their years at Meriden, all girls develop a comprehensive portfolio of achievement in a range of areas, along with a compelling record of service to their community. Meriden is renowned for its commitment to developing wellrounded young women who are confident, articulate and generous leaders, well-equipped to become courageous and innovative leaders of the future.
LOCATION Meriden is located in Strathfield, a well-established professional suburb of Sydney. Situated 15 minutes by train from the city centre of Sydney, its central location allows students from all areas of the Sydney metropolitan and surrounding regions to attend Meriden. Dr Julie Greenhalgh has been the Principal of Meriden since 2007. For further information visit www.meriden.nsw.edu.au
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Glenaeon – a complete education
A Glenaeon education is about learning, growing and becoming a balanced and purposeful human being in Australian and world society.
A Glenaeon education has been an active presence on the North Shore of Sydney for more than 60 years, and today the school educates 500 students from Preschool to Year 12 across five foundation pathways.
G
lenaeon’s A programs include: Academic: An enriched academic program of immersion learning inspired by the world’s great traditions. Aesthetic: Creative learning in the visual and performing arts integrated with the academic program. Artisan: Designing, making and communicating real world artefacts and projects. Active Wilderness: An outdoor education that builds resilience, confidence and leadership. Altruistic: Living and learning through quality relationships in each class, across the school, in Australian
society, around the world. A Glenaeon education is about learning, growing and becoming a balanced and purposeful human being in Australian and world society. Each year of the curriculum at Glenaeon covers a stage in the development of human experience through the ages and across cultures, the story of humanity. Bringing this program are committed and dedicated teachers. Primary teachers are not only degreed teachers, they are also storytellers, musicians and artists, bringing
academic learning to life in enriched, creative classrooms. Glenaeon’s high HSC results are testament to the quality of the academic program in the Middle and Senior Schools. For more information, go to www.glenaeon.nsw.edu.au
Glenaeon
A complete education
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Glenaeon Rudolf Steiner School connects our students to a bigger global picture, through an age-related curriculum delivered creatively, with a focus on imagination, critical thinking and academic excellence.
• Middle Cove Year 3–12 Tues 7 August, Tues 23 October • Castlecrag K–Year 2 Thurs 25 October • Willoughby Preschool Thurs 7 June, Mon 30 July, Sat 25 August
To find out more about our education in 2018, we invite you to visit one of our three campuses on Sydney’s lower north shore by booking a tour.
To register visit: www.glenaeon.nsw.edu.au Middle Cove and Castlecrag tours call 02 9932 2325 Preschool tours call 02 9412 4457
Offspring | winter 2018 | sydney
The Self-Esteem Zone at St Thomas Catholic Primary School St Thomas Catholic School employs a credited system for ensuring children’s self-esteem is of paramount importance.
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research, the Zones of e all want our children to have Regulation uses colours confidence and feel good about to help kids express their themselves, but building their selffeelings. esteem is tricky. Very young children The Green Zone is the often have trouble talking about their ideal zone, where children feelings or explaining a situation which feel happy, calm and distressed them. ready to learn. The Red St Thomas Catholic Primary School in Zone is used to describe Willoughby has a great strategy to help heightened alertness students express their emotions. and intense emotions such as anger, The Zones of Regulation while the Blue Zone describes is a new, child-friendly The Zones of low states of alertness such as way of thinking about Regulation is a new, sadness, sickness, or boredom. emotions which lets child-friendly way of There is also a Yellow Zone, children talk about thinking about emotions which also describes a their feelings in a safe, which lets children talk heightened state of emotion, supported way. about their feelings but a child has more control Pioneered in the in a safe, over their feelings when in the USA and supported supported way. Yellow Zone. by years of academic
Ms Jessica Mair, Year One teacher at St Thomas explains, “As teachers we are always trying to teach our students strategies about the right response and build their self-esteem. As adults we sometimes forget that once upon a time we were all taught social skills, they didn’t come automatically. The Zones let us talk about feelings in a way children understand.”
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Building a Strong Learning Community 2018 is a historic year for Barker College, with the introduction of female students into Pre-Kindergarten and Kindergarten classes.
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irls first started in the Senior School at Barker College in 1975. By 2022, the School will be fully coeducational from Pre-Kindergarten to Year 12. “We know the world is changing and so must we,” Head of Barker College, Mr Phillip Heath, says. “Increasing global interdependence, rapid growth of knowledge, environmental concerns and the expanding role of technology all mean that we need to prepare our children for an uncertain but exciting future.” Work commenced in 2017 on new Preparatory classrooms, which will be located adjacent to Barker’s existing Junior School. This new building will see all Junior students from Pre-
Kindergarten to Year 6 educated on the same campus. Mr Heath says the The new new classrooms will classrooms will look out on to a type look out on to a of ‘village square’ type of ‘village where children and square’ where adults can gather. children and adults “This is part of offering more learning flexibility. can gather. the Reggio Emilia It will mean students can learn philosophy of learning and even make their own that the School follows technology, electronics and in students’ early years which robotics and explore subjects like embraces building a strong learning philosophy in the same space. community.” Further information: Barker’s plans include areas in which Julie McAllister, Director of students and teachers can collaborate, Communications Ph. (02) 9847 8008
Potential is given. Ideas are nurtured. Enrolling girls into Pre-Kindergarten, Kindergarten and Year 3 for 2019. Welcoming girls in Year 7 in 2020. To learn more about Barker’s move to full coeducation or to join us on a School tour, visit our website.
www.barker.college
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What a difference Years 5 & 6 can make! Waverley College is renowned for its high attention to student’s individual, working with parents to be support their sons, in a caring and stimulating environment.
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year, each of 29 mixed-ability groupings. he Waverley College Junior School’s The Junior School is Waterford campus is set amid renowned for its high one hectare of lush greenery standard of individual overlooking the Bronte “…it’s all attention to each student’s coastline in Waverley. about them – and needs, as well as a focus The school is just five they learn to grow in on a shared partnership kilometres from the this environment.” with parents in the Sydney CBD and a short Gabrielle Bransby, formation and education walk from Bondi Junction Assistant Director of of their son. A caring and caters for 290 students Curriculum environment is provided, in Years 5 and 6, with five with emphasis on selfstreams of boys in each
A switch in Year 5 offers new friends, new teachers and new learning opportunities that can keep your son engaged and challenged. GRAHAM LEDDIE, HEAD OF COLLEGE
discipline and acceptance of challenge. The School understands that boys this age are preparing for the transition to high school and need to grow their confidence and independence. New Year 5 students often comment on the high expectations of their teachers and the confidence they feel after achieving – or often exceeding – expectations. Find out more at waverley.nsw.edu.au or call Registrar, Terese Kielt, on 02 9369 0698.
Talk to us today about the great oppor tunities we can offer your son. Waverley College Junior School Waterford Campus 44 Henrietta Street Waverley NSW ENROLMENT & TOUR INFORMATION 02 9369 0698
waverley.nsw.edu.au A C AT HOL IC S CHO OL FOR B OY S F RO M YE ARS 5 T O 12 IN T HE T R ADI T ION OF ED MUND RICE
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When initially rethinking the new Junior School, PLC Sydney was very keen to develop a building with both intimacy and openness, one that demonstrates the positive impact of learning spaces on innovative teaching practices and student outcomes.”
PLC Sydney’s junior students develop a better understanding of the world using enquiry-based learning.
Year 4 students working with Ruby the Robot and PLC Sydney’s Junior School Technologies and Innovation Coordinator, Ms Belinda Martins, in their new Innovation Lab.
Innovation and hands-on experiences inspires learning at PLC Sydney
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refining Bee-Bot bridges, roads and structures. In Kindergarten and n February this year, PLC Sydney officially opened its new Junior Year 1, students continue to develop computational thinking skills School. The innovative Gateway Project incorporates the Hamilton with Bee-Bots in integrated Mathematics and Science units. Students precinct (new classrooms and large breakout spaces for Years 3 – 6); also begin to explore local community problems and begin to create specialist Science and Technology Innovation Labs; Invertebrate prototypes of solutions related to their Geography and Science units House, Turtle Pond; food gardens; native (non-stinging) bee hotel, of work using a variety of digital tools. Students are also introduced nature walkway and playground. to visual coding blocks on their digital devices through ScratchJr. In “When initially rethinking the new Junior School, PLC Sydney was very keen to develop a building with both intimacy and openness, one that demonstrates the positive impact of learning spaces on innovative teaching practices and student outcomes,” says Dr Paul Burgis, Principal at PLC Sydney. “We don’t just follow trends at PLC Sydney; we want to lead in education, and our new facilities and philosophy support this approach. “Integrating Science and Technology, and embedding these programs into meaningful, real world experiences for our Junior School students, has been a focus of our curriculum and specialist teachers for many years now. Part of the new development includes animal holding/ breeding facilities for a selection of appropriate species, such as various praying mantises, the giant water spider, various PLC Sydney Year 1 students Integrating Science and Technology, work with the Animal Exhibits grasshoppers, nails and turtles; and embedding these programs into Officer study ecological with a view of inspiring our younger meaningful, real world experiences for niches and how these are students with an interest in Science recreated in enclosures. our Junior School students, has been a and wildlife conservation. We are focus of our curriculum and specialist also extremely pleased to be in teachers for many years now.” the middle and upper primary years students are consultation with experts from introduced to more sophisticated robotics including Taronga Zoo and have recently Dash and Sphero and the humanoid NAO robot ‘Ruby’ hired our own specialist Animal Exhibits Officers to work with our to further develop computational thinking concepts. students on this exciting project.” To view two short videos about PLC Sydney’s Junior The introduction of the new K-6 Science and Technology Syllabus School Science and Technology Programs, please visit the PLC in NSW has also brought an opportunity for students to develop their Sydney YouTube channel or go to: critical thinking and creative problem solutions skills in a variety of https://bit.ly/2sPmWX5 Coding and Robotics integrated learning contexts. https://bit.ly/2kWdgXt Junior School Science At PLC Sydney, this begins in the early years. In Pre-Kindergarten, students begin developing computational thinking skills though To find out more about education and enrolments at PLC experimenting with Bee-Bot movements. Students also engage in Sydney, please visit the website at www.plc.nsw.edu.au mini engineering challenges in development play by testing and
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COME JOIN US... Located in the inner west of Sydney, PLC Sydney is a school for girls from Pre-Kindergarten to Year 12, offering boarding from Year 7.
PROSPECTIVE PARENT INFORMATION SESSIONS 9.30 AM - 11.30 AM | TUESDAY 14 AUGUST 2018 5.00 PM - 7.00 PM | TUESDAY 13 NOVEMBER 2018 Please join us for an information session where you will hear from students and staff, meet the Principal, take a guided tour of the College and view our facilities and grounds. Alternatively if you are unable to attend, please contact our Enrolments Office to arrange a private tour. We look forward to welcoming your family to PLC Sydney.
(02) 9704 5666
enquiries@plc.nsw.edu
www.plc.nsw.edu.au
1 Meta Street Croydon NSW 2132
Young women of integrity and purpose
APAG: Leading school of the arts Australian Performing Arts Grammar School empowers students to develop creative expression while maintaining commitment to academic education.
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ustralian Performing Arts Grammar School sits nestled in the heart of Broadway. Were it not for the sounds of guitar and drumming, singing and piano, students laughing and the glimpse of pirouettes through the windows you might not realise that this building is host to one of the most exclusive Performing Arts high schools in Sydney. APGS is a coWith speciality alongside industry specific educational school for Performing Arts classes and relevant performance Year 7 to 12 students, delivered within school arts classes, fostering passionate about hours, students have independence, selfempowering young afternoons and weekends esteem, and a sense ional people of creative profess free to explore of commitment to the ability and academic opportunities; performing with wider community. their bands, acting in theatre commitment. movies filming s, festival Students are given The School offers and performing in local the opportunity to thrive an enriched and musical productions. in their creative field whilst rigorous academic they work towards their HSC. curriculum
The NESA approved curriculum is delivered to students from Monday through to Thursday, then students spend Thursday afternoon and Friday partaking in elective skills and company orientated Performing Arts subjects: hip-hop, clowning, film making, song writing and many more. With speciality Performing Arts classes delivered within school hours, students have afternoons and weekends free to explore professional opportunities; performing with their bands, acting in theatre festivals, filming movies and performing in local musical productions. Let your child join a supportive community where passion for creativity is anchored by a dedication to learning, respect and connection.
YEAR 7 – 12 2019 ENROLMENTS NOW OPEN
ENROL NOW AUDITIONS SEPT 2018
EMPOWERING CREATIVITY 72 Offspring Offspring | winter 2017 spring 2018 2012 | sydney
T. + 61 2 9518 5123 www.apgs.nsw.edu.au 255 Broadway, Glebe NSW 2037 CRICOS Provider Code: 02647M
PARENTING
The Royal Botanic Garden Sydney Nestled between the CBD and the Harbour, the Royal Botanic Garden Sydney is the perfect destination to get the whole family outside and enjoying nature.
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isiting The Royal Botanic Garden Sydney, it is easy to lose track of time discovering beautiful flowers, tall trees, spectacular views and cafes. Open daily with free entry.
TOP 3 THINGS FOR FAMILIES
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Just for Mum (or Dad) and Bub Where getting your hands dirty is a must!! Your pre-schoolers will love immersing themselves in nature-based activities at the weekly Dandy Lions program. With new themes explored every week through interactive craft, music, planting and more, it’s no wonder this program is a weekly staple for many families.
2
School holiday fun Each school holidays the Garden runs an array of interactive programs to keep even the fussiest kids entertained and away from screens! These unique programs are great if you’re looking for memorable active and creative hands-on experiences. Plus, kids get to learn about plants and animals in the coolest way.
Book your kids in for unforgettable fun at the Royal Botanic Garden Sydney!
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Chill out with a picnic Bring a picnic and take in the view, relax on the lawns or explore the many themed gardens like the Tropical and Succulent gardens. Discover the birds and animals living in the Garden and don’t miss the Spring Walk and flowering meadow. Visit rbgsyd.nsw.gov.au to plan your next visit and join the fun!
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· Dandy Lions is the perfect introduction to nature-play and outdoor fun for kids under 5. On every Thursday.
For big kids · Jump into super cool adventures every school holidays at the Garden. Kids can learn about nature while having heaps of fun through creative hands-on activities, outdoor theatre, craft, games and more.
Bookings: rbgsyd.nsw.gov.au/holidays
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A motherless newborn child is one of the most heartbreaking sights imaginable. Your gift can help save a mother’s life in Papua New Guinea.
In a country like PNG where there are some of the highest maternal and child death rates, baby Tessie* managed to survive. She is one of the lucky ones. Tessie’s mother, Rose*, was not so lucky. She died from postpartum haemorrhage, one of the most common causes of maternal death in PNG. Imagine this happening to 1,500 different families in PNG each year. This is a tragic event that you can help stop.
* This is a real story from PNG, but all names have been changed for privacy reasons.
You can give a gift to other babies like Tessie – the gift of their mother’s life.
To make a tax deductible donation or to find out more about our Healthy Mothers, Healthy Babies program visit burnet.edu.au or call Burnet Institute on (03) 9282 2111.
burnet.edu.au
, y a w d a Bro ! y b Ba
Extracurricular activities fill up the calendars of most school aged children these days. However, sport is usually the dominant feature over more creative pursuits. But did you know engaging in the performing arts, whether it be dance, drama or music has phenomenal benefits for kids’ wellbeing and development?
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erforming arts have the ability to provide kids with a wide variety of skills to set them up for life. It’s not about becoming a star or getting the leading role, it’s about stimulating the body and mind and the vast emotional, social and
educational paybacks. Being a part of a performance process, exposes your child to
new ways of thinking, moving, engaging and doing. Research shows that children who sing, dance, act or play instruments are more likely to be recognised for academic achievement compared with their non-performing counterparts. But the benefits don’t end there. Here are some of the key rewards children receive from participating in performing arts: www.offspringmagazine.com.au
sydney | winter 2018 | Offspring 75
Self-esteem and Confidence - The safe environment of a class, as well as the opportunity to perform in front of an audience, will help bolster your child’s confidence and self-esteem. Children will make mistakes, we all do, but they will have the chance to practice and learn, and eventually succeed at a given task, generating immense feelings of pride, which can have a flow on effect to reducing anxiety and depression.
Social Skills - Most creative activities require team work or some collaboration. This expands children’s skills in communication, conflict resolution, negotiation and empathy. By learning collaboration kids begin to see that their contributions have value even if they don’t have the biggest role. Through team work kids can learn to see things from different perspectives and understand the motivations, feelings and opinions of others.
Perseverance and Resilience – Learning an instrument or dance requires practice, patience and persistence. On the journey to success children learn the old anecdote ‘the show must go on’ when things don’t come together perfectly, and they may be required to accept constructive feedback, which will prove a vital skill in later life. Once the performance is complete the sense of accomplishment will drive perseverance in their next endeavour.
Concentration and Control - The ability to listen, retain and contribute in a creative class demands a great deal of focus. Equally the core strength, coordination, flexibility and balance required across all performing art forms such as sitting with an instrument for extended periods or executing ballet are all skills that will help enormously when transferred to a school setting.
If your child is shy and lacks confidence introducing them to performing arts could be a life changing decision. The combination of a safe environment and engaging activities could be the trigger to bring them out of their shell.
But performing arts aren’t limited to music lessons and dance studios. Perth’s Fringe World Festival Director, Amber Hasler, says we just have to look at the expanding programs and performances drawing huge crowds to the 750 events that made up this year’s Fringe World, with genres from comedy to circus and cabaret acts to realise the endless options and opportunities available in today’s performing art scene. “Events like Fringe get people out of their houses and interested in the arts in general,” she says. “The annual program is a month-long celebration of talented artists including film makers, circus acts, puppetry, mermaids, magic, illusion, comedy, dance, musicals. It really is a joy to bring culture and an array of art forms to the public and open up their perception and appreciation.” With so many possibilities and endless benefits it can be a daunting task finding the right activity for your child. Offspring has put together a guide to help you navigate the options.
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www.offspringmagazine.com.au
Dance Dance is an expressive art form. It is active and a great way to improve fitness, body awareness, motor skills, strength, posture and flexibility. Dancing has recognised social and psychological advantages to a child’s development from problem solving and critical thinking to developing resilience and team work. For many dancers, the activity provides an outlet for emotions, stresses and an escape from daily life. A dance class will introduce children to the notion of a troupe. It’s not just you on stage but a larger group that is counting on you to do your part. The sense of responsibility and relying on peers gives an incredible sense of belonging. Most often dancers bond tightly together to develop a strong friendship set within their dance school. It is a great way to increase connectivity with others. Many dance schools offer classes from toddlers to adults. Dance classes focused on enjoyment and movement are perfect for little ones looking to burn off some energy. Lots of dance schools, recreation centres, day care centres, churches and community groups offer specific toddler classes where technique, routines and costumes are not so important. For older children looking for more structure and the opportunity to become involved in competitions, exams or concerts, there are many styles from which to choose including Ballet, Jazz, Tap, Contemporary, Acrobatics, Cheerleading and Hip Hop.
A dance class will introduce children to the notion of a troupe. It is a great way to increase connectivity with others.
Talk to your child about their interests, ask around for recommendations, visit a few studios and ask about trial classes.
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Drama Drama puts children in exciting, funny, thought-provoking and interesting circumstances to expand their view of the world and the people within it. It is not just limited to stage shows but encompasses circus acts, illusions, puppetry and theatre sports. “Not every child that takes drama will become a famous actor, but they will walk away with the tools to speak in public and speak up for themselves. They don’t have to be the best, they just have to be involved,” Bronwyn Edinger, Director of Northern Sydney’s Glen Street Theatre told Offspring. Drama classes cover many skills including voice training, improvisation, role playing and creative movement. Drama, like dance, is suitable to a range of ages and abilities from three years through to adults. Many primary and high
Bring the benefits of drama into your home:
✪ Set up a box of dress-ups and props to help children create imaginative scenarios, include a large sheet to use as the stage curtain.
✪ Create your very own sock puppets. Puppets are a great way for shy kids to engage. ✪ Instead of simply reading a story with your child, why not role play and act it out?
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schools offer a drama program and some local youth centres provide opportunities to be involved in regular theatrical productions. Otherwise, ask around for recommendations of a good drama club.
Drama puts children in exciting, funny, thoughtprovoking and interesting circumstances.
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Learning an instrument can teach perseverance, build self-esteem and assist with other school-based education such as reading and maths from learning to read music and count beats.
Music Music is a powerful form of expression. It has the ability to change moods and evoke emotional responses simply through sound. Your child doesn’t have to be a prodigy musician to get involved either, signing up for a choir or a band is a great place to start as it removes the pressure associated with solo instruction and performances. Most schools will have a choir your child can freely join. One of Australia’s most admired conductors, receiving an Order of Australia for his passionate advocacy of music education Richard Gill, believes physical education and arts education should book-end the Australian curriculum, with music being at the forefront, as early as possible in the life of a child.
So how do you choose the right instrument?
Choosing an instrument to learn can be exciting and full of possibilities. Talk to your child about their interests and visit a reputable music store to see the instruments in their grandeur. Most formal music lessons start between five to nine years old, group classes are recommended for even younger children. The Forte School of Music gives these ages and instruments as a guide: The piano is highly recommended as a child’s first instrument, it can be played as soon as a child can reach the keys and has enough strength to press them down. Recommended age: 5+
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“The impact this type of education would have on children, with respect to creative thinking, imaginative problem solving, resulting in classrooms full of engaged and interested minds with the capacity to think, perceive, analyse and act upon ideas, would turn the educational decline on its head,” he said during a recent speech to the Collegiate of Specialist Music Educators. You don’t need to be a wonderful singer or musician to share music with a child, nor spend a lot of money on musical activities, with many local libraries or community groups offering free ‘rhyme time’ sessions to introduce babies and toddlers to rhymes, songs and instruments. For older children, learning an instrument can teach perseverance, build self-esteem and assist with other schoolbased education such as reading and maths from learning to read music and count beats. Your child’s school might teach certain instruments or offer a music program. Otherwise word-of-mouth is always a great way to start looking for a teacher. If you are seeking private tuition check the qualifications of the teachers and find out costs, expectations and ensure they match your child’s desires, some will be more casual and others will expect participation in examinations and recitals. Ask about hiring instruments before committing, as some instruments
Bring your own music to life:
✪ Have the radio or music stream playing during the day instead of the TV. It will encourage you and your child to sing and dance along.
✪ Construct your own musical instruments such as shakers, drums and cymbals from pots and pans, household and craft items.
are expensive and need a lot of practice and persistence. www.offspringmagazine.com.au
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✪ The recorder is a common choice in a school
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Tips to help your child overcome anxiety before a big performance:
✪ Normalise feelings of anxiety and remind your child, everyone, even adults feel nervous before going on stage.
✪ Talk your child through their worries and remind them of other moments when they felt anxious and things ended up being successful.
✪ Help your child calm their nerves by taking
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four or five long, deep breaths or counting backward from ten.
MOVE
PLAY
STRETCH
FEEL
BREATHE
www.relaxkids.com/AU 80 Offspring | winter 2018 | sydney
Child Mental H it ng
IN
S
Find out more:
RELAX
th eal
Give your child valuable tools to manage stress, boost their confidence and develop their creativity.
BELIEVE
Supp or
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setting. It is cheap, children can play it easily and it provides a good introduction to making music. Recommended age: 5+ Stringed instruments often come in smaller sizes specifically for kids. Some children can handle a violin from the age of four. Recommended age: 5+ (violin); 9+ (viola and cello) Other wind and brass instruments should not be attempted before your child’s permanent teeth come in because of the pressure on the teeth when they are played, the actual size of the instrument, the lip strength required and the “puff” needed to make a noise. Recommended age: 8+ (flute, clarinet); 9+ (saxophone, trumpet, trombone, French horn) Drum and guitars tend to be a big favourite among kids. Recommended age: 7+ Singing is something that can be enjoyed at all ages, but it is best not to start learning formally until 9+ years.
CE 2000
relaxkidsofficial www.offspringmagazine.com.au
Not keen on the spotlight? If your child is shy and lacks confidence introducing them to performing arts could be a life changing decision. The combination of a safe environment and engaging activities could be the trigger to bring them out of their shell. But don’t push too hard, there are other ways to expose your child to the wonders of the art form without participating: A trip to the circus - there is nothing quite as awe inspiring as aerial acrobatics. A dance performance - seeing classical ballet at the theatre or a local dance school’s concert is a lively and colourful experience. A balloon twisting, puppet or magic show - the illusions will captivate your child’s imagination and open them to the possibilities within performing arts. Activities like these are easy to create at home. A concert - there are many touring music acts for kids, teens or adults to provide a great shared experience. Local community events - whether it is the local choir or dance troupe, carolling, a drama production or an idol contest, there are often opportunities to see an array of performances in your own community. n
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there are often opportunities to see an array of performances in your own community.
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Australia’s best child talent Bettina Management works with Australia’s BIGGEST FASHION AND LIFESTYLE BRANDS across all industries.
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ettina Management works with Australia’s BIGGEST FASHION AND LIFESTYLE BRANDS across all industries. After 25 years in the industry, they have developed long standing relationships and earned access to industry platforms that give the highest exposure for their talent. Representing talent from 3 months to 16 years, they hold complimentary personal interviews to ensure they handpick children of engaging temperament and with unique looks. Bettina Management has an expansive client list and as a reputable agency, they have a constant demand to supply a healthy and varied portfolio of children to the thousands of casting directors, photographers and agents they service. They pride themselves on their distinctive professionalism and prompt service that allows them to service their talent and clients to the best of their ability. If you would like to see your little star in campaigns for some of Australia’s biggest fashion and lifestyle brands, contact them to book in for your free interview and information session.
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1300 888 611 e: info@bettina.com.au www.bettina.com.au
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Australia’s leading model & talent agency for kids Having discovered and developed many little (and big!) stars over the years, we take as much delight in seeing our talent in print and on screen as they do. Our talent has featured in TV commercials, TV series, feature films, major ‘Hollywood’ films, catalogues, billboards, magazines and more!
Does your little star love the camera? Contact us today and mention ‘Offspring Magazine’ to book in for a complimentary personal meeting. Our experienced staff will explain what makes the industry ‘tick’ and can give you feedback about potential opportunities for your child.
Contact Us: 1300 888 611 bettina.com.au
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Offspring | winter 2018 | sydney
Expansive Client Base
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We are looking for the right people to join our team to sell advertising space into all three publications, as well as online. This a wonderful opportunity for the right person.
WHAT’S IN IT FOR YOU? The opportunity to work your own hours, from home. There are very generous returns for the right person.
THE ROLE To manage advertising accounts, selling advertising space into Offspring Magazine hard copies and online. Be part of a lovely small team and a great product! There are very generous returns for the right person.
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Please send all expressions of interest to the Publisher, Kate Durack kate@offspringmagazine.com.au or for further enquires please contact Kate on 0415 267 414