Hello All!

It’s Carmen Goebel here this month with another story. A rebirth or shedding as you will.

This month’s article is dedicated to dreams and goals. My hubby (Lynn) and I have decided to go with our dream of living free. We have said, practically since we were a serious couple (1999), that we would love to sell everything and buy a Class A motorhome and cruise the open road. It’s happening. Yahoo! It’s been a discussion for so long that sometimes I tend to think that a dream like this is so far-fetched, how could it be possible? It was this past February, I sat Lynn down for one of our talks that I like to call “same page” talks. It’s meant to readjust our thinking and be on the same page. I started out by saying I’d like to fulfill this dream. Lynn said “Yes, me too. I just thought we’d do it later when we got older.” Ha ha! “How old do you want me to be?”, I replied since I’m already 55 and I certainly don’t want to do this when I’m pushing 70. I made my case, stating how old I am and that my body is tired and since my foot injury at work a year ago I felt it was a struggle.

Last month I discussed my anger and how it had impacted me in the last few months and especially at work. I then discussed that our house is big and I feel like all our money is going to the maintenance of this property and at the end of the day it’s not supplying me happiness. Lynn is such a dear gentle man that sometimes I think I bulldoze him with my personality. Lynn then said ”You know how I am with change.” Then he agreed. My soul leapt. I felt it. Lynn does not do well with change and at the same time will follow me to the end of time because he is that guy. He’s my guy! These past six weeks have been a blur. We contacted a realtor and proceeded to list our house. It was such an easy experience as people are wanting to buy and upgrade etc. It’s a sellers market right now. Yay for us. For the last few years I’ve sold stuff and thrown away stuff and decluttered lots. I felt good about what I had left. But now that we are totally downsizing and going to the minimum it’s been a frenzied mess. I just have to chuckle at the layers this minimalism is taking us through. For instance, I’ve gone into my closet a number of times already and each time I’ve taken some clothes, shoes and other things out. I still haven’t been able to empty it all.

“Don’t get me wrong, there were times that I let it soar and everytime I did, good things happened”

Yet with other closets, especially storage rooms, I could empty them and completely wipe them out with no problem. It feels like I’m emerging from a cocoon I’ve lived in for the last almost 25 years. You see in 1997, when my first husband left to pursue a relationship with another woman, I moved back home to the same area as my parents. It was great, but in that transition I lived a bit under their belief systems. I chose to stay quiet and heal and cocoon my sense of individuality. I have a pretty huge sense of self and it occurred to me that I’ve hid it so much to appease family. Don’t get me wrong, there were times that I let it soar and everytime I did, good things happened. Dating and marrying Lynn and starting a few businesses for example. Especially right now with this next chapter of our lives. In conclusion, I would like to express the idea of “your dream”. Whatever that means to you. Pursue that experience. Life is made up of one experience after another. Be happy with the thought that it’s enough. Live in the present of now and love that thought. Till next time. Love you lots Carmen.