Welcome 2016! It is a new year and I am really looking forward to 2016. I always see a new year as a hopeful chapter in my life. If you feel like getting crafty this year, check out our Guenette Arts and Crafts Center. Resolve to relieve stress and be a healthier person by cuddling more, yes, you read that right, cuddling. If you feel like getting outdoors more often, why not take up bird watching? Middle Tennessee is home to a variety of birds and is sure to keep you entertained all year long. Of course, it is always a good time to appreciate your Spouse and Army Community Service is here to help you show your appreciation. No matter what you want your 2016 to look like, I hope you turn to MWR to make it the best year yet. Jenelle Grewell, Editor fortcampbellmwrlife@gmail.com
Inside this issue Editor
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Unleash your creative side.
Jenelle Grewell
Contributors
William D. Corlew, III Patrice Johnson-Winters Deanna Mira Jones Mitchell D. Kaye M.D. FACS Tammy L. King
Visit Guenette Arts and Crafts
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Make Time To Cuddle The benefits of snuggling.
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Income Tax Fraud Protect yourself from identity theft.
Publisher
Creative ink
Creative Director Sears Hallett
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Are You Two Routine? Show your appreciation on Spouse’s Day.
Advertising Nichole Irmer 209-781-6492 nichole@creativeinktn.com
10 Going Back To Work Returning to your job as a new mother.
Photography CynDe Clack Jenelle Grewell Paula Hallett Shutterstock pg: 6, 16, 19, 20
16 Middle Tennessee Is For The Birds Our large variety of feathered friends.
18 January Events Things to do during the cold month.
19 What Is Happiness? Find what will truly bring you joy.
Disclaimers: Fort Campbell’s MWR Life Magazine is a monthly magazine produced by the Fort Campbell MWR Marketing Department under the authority of AR 215-1. Facilities and activities publicized are open to authorized patrons.The mention or appearance of commercial advertisers, commercial sponsors and/or their logos does not constitute endorsement by the Federal Government. The information in this issue is current at the time of publication; activities and events are subject to change. MWR Marketing is located at 5663 Screaming Eagle Blvd, Fort Campbell, Kentucky. For more information, call 270.798.7535. Visit www.campbell.armymwr.com. 24hr. event line - 270-798-3172 www.facebook.com/fortcampbellmwr
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Visit Guenette Arts & Crafts Center By Patrice Johnson-Winters
Guenette Arts & Crafts Center would like to invite the members of the Fort Campbell community to come and spend some quality time with us this cold winter season. There are many fun and creative things to do inside our facility, including crafts and classes which are offered at reasonable prices that fit into almost any “after the holidays� budget. Guenette hosts several classes throughout the month which are designed to appeal to a variety of tastes and interests. Our Wheel Throwing Class is one of our most popular classes. This class, which takes place over two sessions and costs $26, teaches patrons 14 and older how to throw and trim pottery on a pottery wheel. Once the basics are learned, it is only a matter of time and practice before you will be able to throw bowls, plates, cups and pots that you will be proud to share with friends and Family. After the class, pottery wheels are available for use with the payment of a shop fee plus any materials needed. Shop fees in the Multi Craft area are $4 for adults and $2 for ages 16 and under. Firing fees are 15 cents an inch. Another fun class in the Multi Craft area is Stained Glass. This class
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costs $22 plus the cost of glass and is only available to ages 18 and older. Students will learn the basics of the copper foil method of stained glass while assembling a sun catcher. Guenette Arts & Crafts Center has not forgotten the younger members of the Fort Campbell community. We also offer a variety of classes that are open to our budding little artist as well. In Kids Clay Workshop, children will learn to construct a hand built piece of pottery. Nameplates, letter holders, wind chimes, and plates are some of the different projects that are created in this workshop which costs $11 and is open to all ages. We do require that anyone age 12 or under to be accompanied by an adult. Another great activity for all ages is Soap Making. Our Soap Making Classes are offered on an almost monthly basis. Usually, we run four class sessions on Saturdays to accommodate as many busy schedules as possible. The class costs $12 a person and the projects change from month to month. We make soap bars with toys and flowers encased inside them, cupcake-shaped soaps and soaps shaped like popsicles. We also offer classes making a variety of different hand and foot scrubs and bath salts. Some of the projects also come with recipes that can be duplicated at home with items purchased at the grocery store. The cost of the class includes packaging to make the soaps suitable for gift giving.
Guenette Arts & Crafts has some activities that may be done on a walk-in bases during regular business hours. A fun activity for all members of the Family, Paint Your Own Pottery. Guenette’s offers a variety of bisque ware at a wide assortment of prices. We stock different animals, figurines, refrigerator magnets, seasonal pieces and more. The shop fees allows patrons to use our acrylic paints, brushes and trays. For items such as bowls, plates and mugs, we stock a wide selection of glazes which are available for purchase in our resale store. Clayworks is another popular walk-in activity at Guenette. Clay may be purchased from our shop and the shop fees allows patrons to utilize our canvas covered tables, slab roller and assortment of pottery tools. Almost all member of the Family can enjoy hand built pottery. Patrons have made everything from plates and bowls to monsters and imaginary creatures while working in our pottery area. Guenette Arts & Crafts Center also is home to a woodshop. In here, patrons work on projects of all sizes. We have five mini lathes for pen and ornament turning as well as two larger lathes for bowls, table legs and other items. We have two table saws, a planer, jointers, band saws, finishing sander and more. To work in the woodshop, patrons simply need a DA 3031 Qualification card which can be received after watching a 30 minute Safety Video which covers the
Guenette Arts & Crafts also offers Custom Framing Services for anyone whose schedule is simply too busy to try and do the framing themselves. Service charges for framing vary depending on the projects but are very reasonable and the turnaround time is usually about two weeks. Our custom framers are well trained with experience handling guidons, needlepoint, limited edition prints, canvas stretching and more. Bring your projects by and talk with one of our framers to get a quote the next time you have something to be framed. Another service available at Guenette Arts & Crafts Center is Engraving Etc. This shop, located just inside the door from our parking lot, offers personalized items for awards, recognitions, gifts and more. We have a wide selection of plaques and figures to choose from or you can order something
from one of our catalogs. Whether you need a trophy for your child’s soccer coach or a retirement gift for someone at work, Engraving Etc. may have just what you need. We also offer personalized self-inking stamps, vinyl signs, and duffle bag stencils. Engraving Etc. is open Monday through Friday from 8:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. This area is closed on weekends and for holidays. Guenette Arts & Crafts Center is located at 89 Screaming Eagle Blvd. Our hours are 11 a.m. to 7 p.m. on Tuesdays and Thursdays, 12:30 p.m. to 8:30 p.m. on Wednesdays and 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. on Fridays and Saturdays. The Center is closed on Monday, Sundays and holidays. For information on our class schedule, prices and times, call (270) 798-6693 or check out our website at: campbell.armymwr.com and click on the Arts & Crafts link
safety procedures on all the major equipment in the shop. After watching the video, an instructor will give you a brief tour of the area and assist you with the operation of the equipment. There is a $10 Safety Class fee but no shop fees are charged on the day you take the Safety Class. There is also a 25 cent a board foot fee for patrons using the planer or the finishing sander. The use of all other equipment is covered with the regular shop fee of $5. Anyone who has had a piece of artwork or diploma that needs to be framed will appreciate our Framing Area. We offer a matting and framing class every month to teach anyone interested how to measure, cut and assemble their own custom framed pieces. Our facility carries a variety of matboards and mouldings and quality materials are also available. The framing class cost is $10 for instruction plus the cost of any materials that you need to complete the project that you bring to frame. Anyone interested in taking the class must register in advance as it tends to fill up fast. Once patrons know how to frame, the area is open during regular business hours. The shop fee in the framing area is $5. There is also a $2.50 hardware fee for each piece finished in the area and a 25 cent a corner fee for mats cut using the computerized cutting system.
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Make Time to Cuddle By Jenelle Grewell
Who doesn’t enjoy cuddling? Especially in this cold month of January when you could use the extra warmth. Whether you cuddle with a Spouse, child, pet, friend or stuffed animal, cuddling has its benefits to your healthy and emotions. 1. Cuddling releases oxytocin: I am sure we have all heard of this hormone as this “feel good” endorphin and when you cuddle you get a huge dose of it. 2. Cuddling boosts your immune system: After learning this fact, I want to start cuddling up with my cat a bit more. Those feel good hormones we talked about earlier? When released, it makes you feel invincible and it also increases productions of other hormones that help fight infection. Basically, you feel way too good to ever get sick. A snuggle a day keeps the doctors away. 3. Cuddling relieves pain: Again, that awesome oxytocin comes into play. The hormone helps to decrease your levels of pain. The next time I have a headache, I better curl up on the couch with a few besties. 4. Cuddling helps deepen your relationship: Touch is very important in relationships. Try coming home from work or a stressful situation and cuddling with your partner for 10 minutes. This will not only give you small break from the stress and worry but will also help in deepening your relationship. Bonus: more oxytocin! 5. Cuddling helps women bond: I keep bringing up this oxytocin thing and for women it has an added bonus. It’s also released during childbirth and breastfeeding. For women, the chemical helps them relax and sleep easier which can be harder after giving birth. More sleep? Who doesn't want that?
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6. Cuddling reduces social anxiety: That wonderful hormone inspires positive thinking. Even snuggling as simplistic as a hug can help you relax socially. Think about walking into a gathering where you only know one person. If that person gives you a hug upon walking in, you are more likely to be social and outgoing during the event. This really makes sense to me when I think about all the times I have wanted to hold a friend’s hand whenever they take me to meet new people or to a new place.
However you choose to snuggle, make sure you do it often. That hormone oxytocin seems to have a lot of pretty great benefits. Cuddling has always been one of my favorite things to do but now it has also become a part of my health routine!
7. Cuddling reduces stress: All those feel-good feelings from oxytocin will help you to feel less stressed. This may seem obvious but it’s important to list because stress has so many negative effects on our body. Anything that helps reduce our stress levels should done more often. Ready to snuggle up in bed yet? 8. Cuddling lowers your risk of heart disease: With all the things that cause heart disease, it only makes sense to add in something to help lower it. Cuddling lowers heart disease because oxytocin makes you happier and as result your blood pressure goes down. Your heart doesn’t have to work as hard so you will be healthier. Give your heart some rest! 9. Cuddling doesn’t have a definition: As I mentioned before, you can cuddle with your child, pet, a stuffed animal and even yourself. You don’t have to have a romantic partner to enjoy the benefits of cuddling. Whenever I hang out with my video gaming friends, we often sit in a row on the couch, resting our heads on each other’s shoulders and keeping each other warm. You can cuddle with yourself by giving yourself a neck rub or curling up under some blankets.
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Income Tax Fraud By Tammy L. King As you ring in the New Year you may begin to think about filing your taxes. For the past few years, there has been a growing trend of income tax fraud. This is a type of identity theft where the thief will use your personal information to file a fraudulent tax return. According to the Federal Trade Commission (FTC), there was a new identity theft victim every two seconds in 2014. For victims, the process to fix the problem is frustrating and time consuming. One may ask why someone would steal your personal information to file a tax return. The answer is simple, MONEY. The thief will make fake tax documents that provide a large tax refund which is direct deposited into a fraudulent bank account. The victim will not discover the problem until they go to file the correct tax return, and the IRS rejects the return, stating that a return has already been filed using your (or your Spouse’s) Social Security number. This is when frustration starts as your refund is delayed and you must start the process of reporting the incident, which normally takes months to complete. If you become a victim of any identity theft, you should report it to the police. Contact your bank and credit card companies to request freezes or closes to the accounts. Contact the three national credit reporting organizations (Equifax, Experian, and TransUnion) and contact the Identity Protection
Specialized Unit of the IRS (800-908-4490). You will also want to report the fraud to the Social Security fraud line (1-800-269-0271) and to the FTC at www.ftc.gov. Learn how to respond to theft at identitytheft.gov. As you can see there is a lot to do if you become a victim. These are steps you can make part of your daily life that will help protect your identity.
7. Do not email information that contains your personal information without using an encryption password.
1. Review your bank and credit card statements carefully.
Finally, let your tax professional help you correct the situation, if you suspect you have become a victim of income tax fraud.
2. Review each of your three credit reports at least once a year visit annualcreditreport.com to get your free reports. 3. Shred any documents with personal and financial information. 4. File tax return electronically and request direct deposited refunds. 5. Review and respond to all correspondence from the Internal Revenue Service. 6. Use security software on your personal computer.
8. Avoid IRS impersonators – the IRS will not call you with threats of jail. The IRS will also not send you an unsolicited email asking for your personal information.
Are You Two Routine? By William D. Corlew, III It’s 4 a.m. and my alarm clock beacons me to awaken and begin my daily activities to prepare for yet another work day. As I yawn and stretch, I begin to maneuver my way throughout dark, noiseless rooms, gently opening and closing doors and cabinets; my senses guiding me like a telepathic ninja moving in stealth-mode. I prepare my breakfast, which usually consists of eggs, toast, bacon, and two cups of coffee. By this time, I hear my wife shuffling from room to room in her usual frenzy as she unenthusiastically prepares for her journey to work. As our paths cross, we routinely render the customary “Good morning,” “How ya’ feeling,” and “Today would be a good day to call in.” As a routine, I normally select, iron, and preposition my work outfits each afternoon, in order to save time in the morning; however, my wife chooses to pair her ensembles with complementing jewelry and other adornments each morning. Every morning, I regularly compliment my wife on her professional appearance as she rushes to her car, grabs her purse, keys, breakfast, and leaves for work. I habitually say “That’s a nice top” or “Those shoes are cute.” She will usually respond with, “Thanks,” “You think so?” or “You saw me wearing this top just the other day.” My wife and I have different work schedules and usually she has to be at work earlier than me. However, once I arrive at work I often find myself pondering over remembering how I actually arrived to work. Or better yet, I question, has my trip to work become so mundane and routine that it’s now unremarkable? Other than arriving to work safely and on time, my only other goal during my travel to work is to make sure I leave the house early enough to get ahead of my nemesis: the goalless driver with the tan minivan. This driver always drives less than 10-mph below the posted speed limits and never really appears to have any purpose on the road every morning other than to slow down everyone else attempting to arrive to work on-time. Other routines, customs, or traditions are great; as a matter of fact, Americans everywhere are preparing to embark on a new year. Starting with New Year’s Day, the next three holidays approach rather quickly as well (I’m including The Superbowl and Valentine’s Day because, even though they aren’t federal holidays, Americans treat them as such). The typical observances of these holidays (particularly the federal holidays) regularly include: a day off from work or school, a large extravagant meal with many guests, the giving and receiving of a gift, holiday specific decorations and apparel, special holiday music, program, or movie, and some form of holiday ritual. Americans everywhere embrace the routine nuances of the holiday seasons; from buying
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copious amount of chips for the big games to hordes of men crowding the Hallmark aisle attempting to purchase a unique, last-minute holiday card for their special folks the day before Valentine's Day. It's true, as Americans we typically live routine lives and as a custom, we tend to use the winter holiday season to show our endearing love for our children, parents, relatives, friends, and Spouses. But, what about the other days during the year? The only issue is that it is the way we often show our affection or observe our special days: it’s all routine, customary, usual, regular, traditional, habitual, or common.
contributions of Military Spouses. The flower representing Spouse's Day is the Freesia and the recipe of the day is Triple Cheese Potato Bake. Maybe planting and gifting this flower and preparing and serving this dish is a great start to show your appreciation for your Spouse. The overall idea for this occasion is to be creative and express your appreciation in imaginative and unique ways. The purpose of Spouse’s Day is according to HolidayInsight.com is, “is a time to enjoy and appreciate your better half.” Additionally, HolidayInsight.com adds, “it’s not as much of a gift giving event. Rather, use it as a time to show your Spouse that you care and appreciate all of the things that he/she does for you and for the household. Over the long years of a relationship, it's easy to take for granted the many things your Spouse does ... They do so many big and little things as a routine event. So, take today to notice and to say thanks. As for the ‘enjoyment’ part of the day, we will leave that up to you to enjoy your Spouse however the two of your desire.” I had an opportunity to speak with Susan Hoffmann, LCSW for the Army Community Service (ACS), Family Advocacy Program (FAP), New Parent Support Program and Twanna Ivey, for the ACS, FAP, Victim Advocate Program. My question to them was: What does Spouse's Day mean to you? S. Hoffman: Many military Families are now caring for their wounded warriors who have experienced significant changes in their abilities. Caregiving can be an arduous task. Many military caregivers are Spouses and predominately women. Thank you to the many Military service members for your service and thank you to all the Spouse caregivers.
It’s time for a fresh approach; a new challenge to show endearment for our loved ones; ergo Spouse Appreciation Day. Spouse Appreciation Day (also called Spouse’s Day or Military Spouse’s Day) is January 26, 2016. Spouse Appreciation Day is an American holiday but it doesn't come with the federal grandeur of Independence Day or New Year’s Day; therefore, federal and other government offices will not receive a paid day-off for this day. The origin of this day is equally elusive; according to HolidayInsight.com, this day is also similar to Military Spouses Day. In 1984, President Reagan created Military Spouses Day, which is always the Friday before Mother’s Day, to recognize the
T. Ivey: Showing appreciation to your Spouse is a critical component of healthy relationships and it is even more important for military Families experiencing absences due to field exercises, temporary duty, and deployments. It is important to be sincere and express appreciation through both words and actions. Acts of kindness performed day-to-day are what strengthen marriages. So, be spontaneous and truly surprise your Spouse by demonstrating your appreciation. Henry Van Dyke writes, “As long as habit and routine dictate the pattern of living, new dimensions of the soul will not emerge.” Therefore, avoid the rhetorical, customary displays of holiday carousing and create a moment that's special between you and your Spouse; enjoy Spouse’s Day and choose other nameless days throughout 2016 to express your love and appreciation for each other.
Going Back to Work For the First Time By Deanna Mira Jones
I will be the first person to admit that I had no idea how I would handle being a mom. I thought that being stuck in the house would drive me crazy and that I would be counting down the days until I returned to work; however it’s been just the opposite since I had Lucas. My last two weeks, I was dreading each day that passed knowing that I would go back to work. Now my work days move slow and my weekends fly by. Staying home with Lucas and going back to work are polar opposites. When I am home with the baby, it’s calm and quiet; I get to do what I want when I want and I don’t even need to get out of my pjs. Work on the other hand, is constantly busy, loud and stressful. It makes me wish I was home with my baby who is nothing but happy just by my presence rather than getting yelled at by a stranger for something I have no control over. The hardest part of going back to work is getting dressed and out the door on time in the morning. I wake up an hour and a half before I need to leave so I can get up, get myself and Lucas ready. My
mom watches the baby at my house so I thought it would be easy to get myself out the door but I still have so many things to do for him and myself that I find myself running out of time. I also make sure I have time with him in the morning otherwise it starts my whole day off on the wrong foot. For instance, the other day, I over slept and had to immediately hand him to my mom and she got him ready while I rushed out the door. All day I missed him severely and it just set a negative and lonely tone for my work day. It sounds crazy to say, even to myself but it’s true. As cheesy as it sounds, his smile and giggles start my day off right. Another challenge about going back to work has been breast feeding but luckily there is an empty office I can pump in. That gives me a desk and chair where I can pump in privacy. It took a few days to get over the initial embarrassment of going into the other room to pump since everyone knew what I was doing, but now it’s just a part of my every day routine and it feels completely normal to do. I didn’t know how people would treat me when I got back to work but no one has treated me any differently since I have been back. Everyone is relieved to have me back since it left them short staffed but our relationships are the same. The only thing new is that they now ask me about Lucas and I get to share stories with my coworkers about him. Coming home in the evening is pretty neat now that he has become more aware. I get a mean mug from Lucas when I walk in
the door if I don’t instantly grab him. He watches me as I walk around the house and then breaks into a huge smile when I pick him up. Luckily he is with my mom during the day so he still gets the one on one attention but he definitely knows who mommy is and he’s so happy when I’m home. It’s the best part of my work day, walking in the door and cuddling up with my little man. I am very thankful for having my mom to help me watch Lucas while I am at work. And even better, he has really bonded with her along with other members of the Family since I have gone back to work. He loves my mom and she can calm him down almost as easily as I can now. Lucas will go to anyone but he’s getting more alone time with people. He know knows and recognizes everyone in my Family I think the most important thing I have learned from going back to work is that no amount of time or nothing you do can truly prepare you for how you will feel returning to work. I never thought that I would miss him so much while I’m gone but I do. Eight weeks at home seems like a long time but I don’t think any amount of time will ever be “enough”. I will always appreciate the days I had at home with him but I think that being at work makes me appreciate the little things more. It gives me something to look forward to and I truly soak in every moment I get with him. If I have any advice for new moms going back to work for the first time it would be to find someone you trust or a care facilities that you're truly comfortable with. It has made it much easier going back to work knowing Lucas is in good hands. I don’t have to worry about him at all throughout the day because I know he has the best care that can be given. Without this stress, I am able to really focus on my work. The most important thing I can say to any new mother is enjoy your time at home. And enjoy all the little moments you have because you don't realize how much you’ll miss your baby once you're back at your job.
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MIDDLE T ENNESSEE IS FOR T HE BIRDS by Jenelle Grewell
Who hasn’t ever wished they were a bird? I know I have always thought it would be nice to fly away and go somewhere warmer for the winter and cooler in the summer. I love the sounds of birds singing and their beautiful feathers are always a delight to see. The Fort Campbell and Clarksville area does not disappoint me as a bird lover. I think you would be surprised to learn about the large variety of birds that live in the Middle Tennessee area. With a variety of colors, sizes and species, this area is perfect entertainment for a bird watcher or wildlife lover. Let’s talk about water fowl first. Middle Tennessee is home to geese, ducks, egrets, herons and cormorants. One of the prettiest of these birds is the Black-Crowned Night-Heron which you may not see as often as other herons since it is a night bird. This medium and stock heron has a black head and back, gray wings, a white belly and thick black bill. These birds can be found in wooded swamps and around lakes, ponds and reservoirs. This bird can be seen in East and Middle Tennessee most often in the summer and sometimes they can be found nesting here in the winter near nesting colonies. If you want your best chance at seeing this bird, head out to Old Hickory Dam.
Let’s move onto vultures! Two vultures are common in Middle Tennessee, the Black Vulture and the Turkey Vulture. Turkey Vultures have a distinctive “v” while in flight and rarely flap their wings while Black Vultures are black with white patches at the tips of its wings. Both species of vultures consume carrion. Sometimes Black Vultures kill small live animals and the Turkey Vultures eat insects, other invertebrates and fruit. Both vultures can be seen year round all over Tennessee. You will typically see vultures nesting on the top of power lines or eating road kill in low ditches.
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I think you would be shocked to learn that vultures are actually pretty interesting birds. Turkey Vultures have a highly developed sense of smell that they use to seek dead animals to eat and while Black Vultures do not, they typically take advantage of the Turkey Vulture’s senses and follow them to food. Black Vultures travel in small flocks to help drive off the larger, solitary Turkey Vulture. Middle Tennessee is home to various species of owls and the Eastern Screech-Owl is my favorite because their call is the neatest sounding of all owls in my opinion. You know that distinctive, trilling bird sound typically used in night time scenes during movies and television? That spooky and mysterious sound comes from theEastern Screech-Owl.
Eastern Screech-Owls come in gray and red but in Tennessee the red colored owl outnumbers the gray, two to one. They are a typically monogamous bird who find one mate for life. While all species of owls are hard to spot, if you want to search for them, Eastern Screech-Owls can be found in forests all over Tennessee. One of the prettiest birds you can see in Middle Tennessee is the Northern Cardinal. The males are hard to miss with their crimson red plumage and distinctive black face mask. The females are grayer with reddish wings but both have the amazing, distinctive crests that make it obvious they are cardinals. Male Northern Cardinals are fiercely defensive of their breeding territory and have been known to attack their own reflections in windows. You can prevent this by taping paper on the outside of the window. Another amazing fact about these birds is that both the male and female cardinals sing, unlike most northern songbirds. The female sings to let her male mate know if he should bring food back to the nest or not. You can see these birds year round all throughout the entire state. Of course, there are plenty of other birds in Middle Tennessee area. Look online, visit Dunbar Cave or even just explore outdoors and see what types of birds you can find. Make sure to take lots of great pictures when you find a pretty one!
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101st Airborne Division Headquarters 19th Hole (Cole Park) Army Community Service (ACS) Army Education Center Arts and Crafts, Guenette Auto Service Center, Air Assault Auto Auto Service Center, North Skills Auto Shop Better Opportunities for Single Soldier Program(BOSS) Blanchfield Army Community Hospital Bowling Center, Hooper Civilian Personnel Advisory Center Commissary Cole Park Commons CYSS, Parent Central Services (Central Registration) CYSS, School Liaison CYSS, SKIESUnlimited Center Dog Kennels Dawg Haus Estep Wellness Center Equipment Rental (Gear-To-Go) Exchange/Food Court/Mall Family Resource Center (FRC) Financial Readiness (Army Emergency Relief)
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What is Happiness? By Mitchell D. Kaye, M.D., FACS Most people want to be happy. On the face of it, this is an obvious and simple minded statement. Really, who wouldn’t want to be happy? Consider someone who wants to be unhappy. That would be abnormal or certainly the minority approach. But it’s not so easy to be happy. In fact, what is happiness? Is it a goal or a path? Can it be achieved? Can it be permanent? Is it given to us as a reward or is it earned? Does it come in pill form or in a bottle or as some other marketable object? Does it require someone else? Can we learn the secret of happiness from others or is it an individuals’ journey, for better or worse? Why does it seem so frustratingly out of reach much of the time?
positive characteristics to attractive people. Because they are beautiful people, they must be happy, right? They are, in fact, just winners, albeit temporarily, in the genetic sweepstakes of attractiveness and they are no more or less likely to be happy than the rest of us. In fact, exceptionally beautiful people seem to have their own unique problems to deal with. The very wealthy are another favorite public obsession. The commoners’ fantasy of winning the lottery is, in fact, statistically a very reliable indicator of severe psychosocial distress within a few years of winning a large sum jackpot. Likewise, being intellectually gifted is not enough. Consider Woody Allen, Edgar Allen Poe or Vincent Van Gogh, just to pick
The great minds of humanity have asked this question, in one form or another, since the beginning of recorded time. It may be the central question in human existence. All of the great religions, individual philosophers, the framers of the US constitution, psychologists, thousands of self-help authors/gurus/shamans and regular people regularly consider the question: “How can I/We be happy”. Before we attempt to define happiness and discuss the cornerstones of a happy life, let’s consider what doesn’t produce happiness. Although we are constantly shown images of youthful, beautiful people as examples of an ideal, beauty and youth are neither necessary nor sufficient. Many of these folks, such as movie or pop stars are not at all happy. We are simply programmed as humans to psychologically attribute
a few who rhyme. Well, what about material objects? Would I be truly happier owning a “fill in the blank” object? Probably not for long. This is not to say that wealth, beauty, health and intelligence are bad things. Of course, they are not. Having enough of the aforementioned makes life much easier and happiness more likely, but an excess does not make one happier necessarily. Nor does their absence preclude happiness. One approach to the problem states that unhappiness is fostered by our attachment to forms. This is a core concept in Buddhism. In this case, form is defined to include both material and physical objects such as the physical self, external objects, as well as the products (i.e. emotions) of the mind. This concept states that since all form is temporary, attachment to
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form will undoubtedly bring unhappiness or sorrow. All physical objects change shape and ultimately will disintegrate and then reassemble as a different form. Today, science would say that this occurs on an atomic level endlessly. A quote by Astronomer Carl Sagan provides a link to modern physics, in this regard. He used to say “we are made of star-stuff” meaning that at this atomic level, we are all common property of the Universe. I actually find this concept strangely reassuring. It is a beautiful thought to me that everything in the Universe shares a common origin, and has continuity throughout time, whatever time may actually be. Returning to the more mundane, it seems to me that the tendency towards perfectionism is a natural barrier to happiness. We live in a society that constantly gives us the message that we can have it all. We can excel at work, find satisfaction in our emotional and love lives, maintain our health, enjoy recreation, have a spiritual life of significance and keep it all balanced. As if this isn’t enough pressure, the expectation of perfection in each of these spheres, either self-imposed or adopted as a kind of societal norm, paradoxically can lead to intolerable stress for the individual. A perfectionist will almost always be dissatisfied with his or her performance or that of others. The harsh self-judgment and disappointment associated with this personality trait will lead to a gnawing sense of never having done enough, well enough. The goals set will be ultimately unobtainable. Finally, since perfectionists are less likely to tolerate failure of any sort, they will be less likely to allow for open exploration of a subject or tolerate deviation from their goal. This can limit free or creative thinking. While a perfectionist can accumulate many external accomplishments, this approach can be a trap and a hindrance to happiness in many cases. There has to be a balance in life’s activities. Usually one “can’t have it all” or have it for very long in any case. Well, what is happiness anyway? I would suggest that a happy life is a meaningful life. Therefore, in my definition, a happy person is likely to have created something, helped someone, discovered something, defended a just cause or perhaps taught a subject well to others. Happy people are likely to have loved others and to have loved themselves. They have an understanding of themselves. They have done these things by their own effort and with the positive application of energy and skill. I won’t presume to define a meaningful life, except to say that it will have a positive purpose to it. I also think that a life lived immorally is not be likely to be a happy one, but that just might be my hope and not a fact. Like most people, I have spent a lot of my life with a great deal of chatter and noise in my own head. Lists of things to do, fragments of the past, hopes and plans for the future, pop music, and all sorts of various ideas float in and out of my consciousness and will compete with the reality of the present. Sometimes, it obscures the present completely and
I move in a fugue-like state through my own life. I find it a challenge to remain in the present moment. I also have found that my happiest moments when I am fully engaged in the present. Of course we must plan ahead, remember things in the past, use that information and therefore we must have memories. But wouldn’t it be nice to get a break from some of it though, at the appropriate time of course? A lot of human activity is devoted to reacquiring the present moment. Religious ceremony and sacred time, such as the Sabbath for example, deliberately induce a passive and contemplative state. Sex, music, and intense experiences, both natural and artificial all require or redirect attention to the present moment and may break the chain of a wandering mind, temporarily at least. The technique of Mindfulness Meditation is an effective tool for this purpose. By passively recognizing the activity of our mind and our actions, we can quiet the mind. We can do this, not by banishing thoughts or emotions, but by observing their natural coming and goings in our minds and not holding on to them. We watch our minds’ workings from an unattached distance and by doing so we can find the space between thoughts. It is very quiet there. Imagine standing high on a dune and looking out to a sea. The waves form, crest, break and recede endlessly. They have many different shapes and sizes. You are not the wave, but you acknowledge their temporary existence. You are simply an observer. To observe takes effort, but not too much. You pay attention. You don’t become attached to your role as observer either; you just allow the observing to occur. If you drift at that moment, you don’t get angry or frustrated. It will be alright. You are gentle with yourself. It is no big deal. You are calm. Just watch the waves. This is a very old technique. It is a completely non-sectarian, non-religious mental exercise. However, like any exercise, it has to be practiced to be of any value. I was reintroduced to it by Dr. Herbert Benson of Harvard Medical School. He came to speak at my
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medical school class during a lunch time lecture series one day. He was doing physiologic research on the effect of this meditation technique, which he called The Relaxation Response, on the autonomic nervous system. This is the part of the body that controls heart rate, blood pressure etc. I highly recommend his book of the same name. I am including a brief and simple, step by step instruction guide to starting mindfulness training. In essence, one sits quietly and then gradually and systematically shifts focus from the external world to the internal self. Initially this is done through becoming aware of the senses, then focusing on the breath and then gradually reversing the process. It is important to be comfortable, seated in the upright position to avoid
becoming sleepy and not to use an alarm or timer. I don’t know how long it really takes me, but I would guess 10 minutes or so, on average. It is best done once or twice a day. I believe that its value is in developing the capacity for passive awareness. It also teaches us to watch the process of our minds and frees us of our emotions by fostering detachment and acceptance. It is my opinion that a happy life requires morality as well as internal awareness. Life has to have rules. We all need parameters of behavior. A good example, but not the only one, might be the 10 Commandments. At the same time, it is important to realize that with 8 billion people on the planet, not everyone will agree on a common moral code. However, now more than ever, we need tolerance and the ability to accept others who are different than ourselves. This is not the same as condoning or ignoring evil and destructive behavior. Finding that balance between acceptance of differences and the correction of evil is our greatest challenge as a species. Forgiveness also plays a critical role. Finally, a happy life requires joy. Joy is pleasure in an activity or relationship. It is important to make time for this and to be grateful for it when we experience it. So what is happiness? Happiness is the first sip of a cold beer on opening day. It is having your infant fall asleep on your chest and enjoying the warm drool puddle when you both wake up. It is Mozart’s Clarinet Concerto in A. It is the touch of your wife at night. It is the smell of fresh cut grass, especially if you didn’t have to cut it yourself. It is honoring your father and mother. It is the taste of a tomato that you grew yourself. It is a quiet, healthy mind. It is diagnosing, treating and curing a sick person. Happiness is … you fill in the blanks.
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