February 2019 - Creative Loafing Charlotte

SMALL BUT MIGHTY THESE NEIGHBORHOOD BREWERIES ARE HOLDING THEIR OWN WWW.CLCLT.COM

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19721 Bethel Church Road • Cornelius, NC 28031 704-806-6711 • Nadine@TeamNadine.com • www.alakehome.com CREATIVE LOAFING FEBRUARY 2019

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CREATIVE LOAFING CHARLOTTE

NCDOT TO HOLD PUBLIC MEETING FEBRUARY 21 FOR THE PROPOSED WIDENING ON N.C. 115 (OLD STATESVILLE ROAD) FROM N.C. 24 (W.T. HARRIS BOULEVARD) TO I-485 IN MECKLENBURG COUNTY TIP PROJECT NO. U-5772 The N.C. Department of Transportation will hold a public meeting regarding the proposed widening of N.C. 115 (Old Statesville Road) from N.C. 24 (W.T. Harris Boulevard) to I-485 in Mecklenburg County. The purpose of the project is to reduce congestion on N.C. 115 (Old Statesville Road) between N.C. 24 (W.T. Harris Boulevard) and I-485, and to provide multi-modal accommodations along N.C. 115 (Old Statesville Road).

The open-house public meeting will be held on Thursday, February 21, 2019 at the Independence Hill Church located at 10220 Independence Hill Road in Huntersville from 4-7 p.m. The public may attend at any time during the meeting hours. Please note there will be no formal presentation.

Maps will display the proposed concepts and project team members will be available to answer your questions and receive feedback. The opportunity to submit comments will also be provided at the meeting or by email or mail by March 8, 2019. Comments will be taken into consideration as the project progresses.

As information becomes available, it may be viewed at the NCDOT Public Meeting Webpage: www.ncdot.gov/news/public-meetings/ Pages/U-5772-2019-02-21.aspx For additional information please contact NCDOT Project Manager, Travis Preslar, P.E., by phone at (980) 262-6290 or by email at TJpreslar@ncdot.gov.

NCDOT will provide auxiliary aids and services under the Americans with Disabilities Act for disabled persons who wish to participate in this meeting.

Anyone requiring special services should contact Samantha Borges via email at smborges@ncdot.gov or by phone at (919) 707-6115 as early as possible, so that arrangements can be made.

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@cl_charlotte

@creativeloafingcharlotte

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Persons who do not speak English, or have a limited ability to read, speak, or understand English, may receive interpretive services upon request prior to the meeting by calling 1-800-481-6494.

Aquellas personas que no hablan inglés o tienen limitaciones para leer, hablar o entender inglés, podrían recibir servicios de interpretación si los solicitan antes de la reunión llamando al 1-800-481-6494.

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FEBRUARY 2019 | VOLUME 33 | NUMBER 1

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22 CREATIVE LOAFING IS PUBLISHED BY WOMACK NEWSPAPERS, INC. OFFICE: 336-316-1231 Publisher BRANDON BUTLER brandon@clclt.com EDITORIAL Editor KATIE MURAWSKI katie@yesweekly.com

SMALL BUT MIGHTY

Contributors EMILY FERRON MATT BRUNSON JENNIFER ZELESKI

Once upon a time, a “craft brewery” meant a small operation. That’s no longer the case, now that many craft brands are owned and operated by macro-breweries and many other craft brewers have gone national on their own. Nevertheless, the Charlotte beer scene has seen a batch of worthy micro- and nano-breweries crop up over the last year.

JOHN ADAMIAN CHUCK SHEPPARD AMY ALKON PRODUCTION Designer ALEX FARMER

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designer@yesweekly.com Creative Loafing© is published by CL, LLC 5500 Adams Farm Lane, Suite 204, Greensboro, NC 27407 Creative Loafing welcomes submissions of all kinds.

Efforts will be made to return those with a self-addressed stamped envelope; however Creative Loafing assumes no responsibility for unsolicited submissions. Creative Loafing is published the first of every month by Womack Newspapers, Inc. No portion may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher. First copy is free, all additional copies are $1. Copyright 2019 Womack Newspapers, Inc. CREATIVE LOAFING IS PRINTED ON A 90% RECYCLED STOCK. IT MAY BE RECYCLED FURTHER; PLEASE DO YOUR PART.

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When your friends are like family, and you’re looking for a comfortable place outside of the home, it’s time to take a trip to HABERDISH, 3106 N. Davidson St.

for the 91st Academy AWARDS, many favorites — or should that be favourites? — still find themselves in the mix while the good fortune of other stars is suddenly stillborn.

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COMEDY is booming in the post-Internet years – in the era of the Netflix special, podcasts, and social media, and memes, quality laughs are just a few clicks away.

The local live scene precedes all that and flourishes in this generation.

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Following the recent announcement of the nominations

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BLUE CACTUS, a retro-tinged country band from Chapel Hill, don’t only sing about heartbroken pain. But it is one of their areas of expertise.

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Vaev, a Los Angeles-based internet startup, is offering CONSUMERS the “luxury to choose” when to become sick with a cold, gushes 34-year-old Oliver Niessen,

the company’s founder. For $79.99, Vaev will send you a box containing a petri dish, which houses a facial tissue used by a sick person.

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Evolutionary psychologist Cari Goetz and her colleagues note — not surprisingly — that men see skimpy attire on a woman as a SIGNAL that they can manipulate her into casual sex. (Women in their research also understood that men perceive skimpy attire this way.)

But who actually ends up manipulating whom?

get social /clclt @cl_charlotte @creativeloafingcharlotte

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NCDOT TO HOLD PUBLIC MEETING FEBRUARY 20 FOR THE PROPOSED TORRENCE CHAPEL ROAD AND WEST CATAWBA AVENUE INTERSECTION AND SURROUNDING AREA IMPROVEMENTS IN MECKLENBURG COUNTY

MAD MONSTER PARTY: A CHARLOTTE TRADITION Mad Monster Party is back – Feb. 22-24 at The Hilton Charlotte University Place, located at 8629 JM Keynes Dr. This horror and pop-culture convention has spent nearly a decade making Charlotte their tomb away from tomb.

Fun for the whole monster-loving family, as it is kid-friendly by day with creepy grown-up fun at night.

Fans will meet, in-person the star of the Evil Dead movies and Ash vs.

Evil Dead T.V. series, Bruce Campbell, legendary creature actor Doug Jones (The Shape of Water, Hellboy, Pan’s Labyrinth), icons Mitch Pileggi (The X-Files, Sons of Anarchy, Stargate) and Ray Wise (Twin Peaks, Agent Carter, 24), stage, T.V. and movie star Adrienne Barbeau (Creepshow, the Twilight Zone, Carnivale), classic monster Kane Hodder “Jason” of Friday the 13th and new generation monsters David Howard Thornton “Art the Clown” of The Terrifier and James Jude Courtney, the latest “Michael Myers” from the blockbuster Halloween 2018, Sid Haig “Captain Spaulding” House of 1000 Corpses, plus many more! Meet fellow fans, local talent, and merchants of the macabre, selling rare collectibles and memorabilia available only at the show! Win cash prizes in the costume contest and experience our sexy ladies of Horror Show!

Eerie events, celebrity panels, live music, monster makeup demos, the annual Scares That Care charity auction, Scaraoke (spooky

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karaoke), and much, much more!

Fans can purchase limited, once-in-a-lifetime photo-ops with backgrounds making it appear as if they’ve walked onto the set of their favorite horror movies to pose with their heroes - some stars recreating their movie characters in full pro makeup and costume!

(Which will include Sid Haig as Captain Spaulding in full make-up) It’s a weekend of non-stop frightful fun and entertainment! Don’t miss this opportunity to make life (after-death) long friendships, hobnob with filmmakers, and shake claws with your favorite movie stars! Shop until you drop, rise from the dead and shop some more! Party past the Witching Hour! Mad Monster always honors our Military, Police, Firefighters, and Emergency service workers with special discounted admission. Mad Monster Party advance tickets and rooms are on sale now at www.madmonsterparty.com while they last! Kids 12 and under are free!

MAD MONSTER publishes Mad Monster Magazine and hosts horror-themed events nationally, including Mad Monster Phoenix in Arizona, and Mad Monster Movie Night screenings at the world-famous Chinese Theatres in Hollywood, California. Keep a bloodshot eye open and a pointy ear peeled for Mad Monster Radio and other events – coming soon!

TIP PROJECT NO. U-5906 The N.C. Department of Transportation will hold a public meeting regarding the proposed improvements to the intersection of Torrence Chapel Road and West Catawba Avenue and the surrounding area in the town of Cornelius in Mecklenburg County. The purpose of the project is to improve traffic flow and improve safety.

The meeting will be held on Wednesday, February 20 from 4-7 p.m. at the Cornelius Town Hall located at 21445 Catawba Avenue in Cornelius.

Please note that no formal presentation will be made.

The public may drop-in at any time during the meeting hours. NCDOT representatives will be available to answer questions and listen to feedback regarding the project. The opportunity to submit comments will be provided at the meeting or can be done via phone, email, or mail by March 22.

All comments received will be taken into consideration as the project develops.

Project information and materials can be viewed as they become available online at https://www.ncdot.gov/news/public-meetings/Pages/.

For additional information, please contact Sean Epperson, P.E., NCDOT Division 10 Project Team Lead, at (704) 983-4400 or smepperson@ncdot.gov.

NCDOT will provide auxiliary aids and services under the Americans with Disabilities Act for disabled persons who wish to participate in this meeting.

Anyone requiring special services should contact Lauren Putnam at lnputnam1@ncdot.gov or (919) 707-6072 as early as possible so that arrangements can be made.

Persons who do not speak English, or have a limited ability to read, speak or understand English, may receive interpretive services upon request prior to the meeting by calling 1-800-481-6494.

Aquellas personas que no hablan inglés, o tienen limitaciones para leer, hablar o entender inglés, podrían recibir servicios de interpretación si los solicitan antes de la reunión llamando al 1-800-481-6494.

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THINGS TO DO

FEBRUARY 10 ONESIE BAR CRAWL WHAT: Pull on your favorite footie pajamas for a pajama party with hundreds of onesie-clad crawlers. Registration opens at Catawba Brewing Co. at 2 p.m., then the crawl will head to The Thirsty Beaver, Moo & Brew, Jackalope Jack’s, The Peculiar Rabbit, The Hop Shop, Whiskey Warehouse, and more. Admission includes a Onesie Bar Crawl T-shirt, Koozie and map, as well as drink specials and Snapchat filters at each bar or brewery along the way.

There will also be a professional photographer to capture every cozy moment.

WHEN: 10 p.m.

WHERE: Catawba Brewing Co., 933 Louise Ave. #105, Charlotte MORE: $20 Admission. For more information, visit www.eventbrite.com/e/onesiebar-crawl-charlotte-tickets-41298809852

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FEBRUARY 14

‘PARADE OF BEADS’ MARDI GRAS CELEBRATION

GIRL TRIBE GALENTINE’S DAY

WHAT: For the seventh consecutive year, Charlotte’s Epicentre will be transformed into the French Quarter of New Orleans in celebration of Mardi Gras. There will be decorations and street performers, as well as the infamous Mardi Gras Parade. You’ll be able to walk through the Epicentre with a full hurricane cup from one establishment to the next, as though you’re on Bourbon Street. Tickets include a Mardi Gras T-shirt, hurricane cup, beads, and admission to Suite, Bubble, Whisky River, Rooftop 210, Blackfinn, Strike City, Vida Vida, Tin Roof, Wild Wing Cafe, Mortimer’s, and Lucky’s.

WHAT: Get all of your girlfriends to Sugar Creek Brewing for this Galentine’s Daythemed Sunday Funday. Kick things off with an 11 a.m. “Drop it LOW” dance class with THE JAM: CLT, followed by a slow cool down yoga flow with NC Yoga Bar. You’ll be able to shop from local female vendors from 11 a.m. – 3 p.m. while sipping beer and enjoying snacks and live music. You can also take part in the first-ever Girl Tribe Creatives Workshop, a watercolor calligraphy class with artist Bree Stallings, at noon or 1 p.m.

WHAT: You could do the standard wineand-dine for V-Day… OR you could opt for the much more unique zipline and dine instead. This one-of-a-kind date night will take you across the USNWC’s longest zipline (spanning 1,625 feet) before continuing onto the high ropes course.

After you’re back on the ground, you’ll take a short hike to River’s Edge, where you and your date will enjoy a three-course meal. You’ll be able to choose between two salad options, two entrees (steak or salmon), two desserts, and craft beer and wine are available for purchase.

WHEN: 11 a.m. – 4 p.m.

WHEN: 6-7 p.m.

WHERE: Sugar Creek Brewing, 215 Southside Dr., Charlotte

WHERE: U.S. National Whitewater Center, 5000 Whitewater Center Parkway, Charlotte

WHEN: 7-10 p.m.

WHERE: Epicentre, 210 E. Trade St., Charlotte MORE: $15-20

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MORE: Tickets must be purchased in advanced for the Dance/Yoga class and the Calligraphy class. Pop Up shopping is free to attend. For more information, find Girl Tribe on Facebook, or email hello@ girltrieco.com

ZIPLINE & DINE

MORE: $75 per person. For more information and to register, visit www.usnwc.org

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february 15 disney trivia night What: When it comes to Disney movie knowledge, you may think that you know best — but do you? Come to this themed trivia night to find out! Drink your favorite NoDa Brewing beers and grab some tacos (or whatever else) from the TIN Kitchen food truck to fuel your brain power. Bring your smartest friends and create a team of up to eight people to play three rounds of Disney Movie Trivia. Plus, for every person on your team who dresses according to the Disney theme, you could earn 10 extra points toward your total.

When: 6-8 p.m.

Where: NoDa Brewing Company, 2921 N. Tryon St., Charlotte More: This event is free.

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february 15-17 2019 nba all-star weekend What: The kings of the NBA are returning to the Queen City for the 2019 NBA AllStar Weekend Feb. 15-17, 2019. The NBA All-Star game was first held in Charlotte in 1991. The 68th annual game will take place at Spectrum Center, home of Michael Jordan’s Charlotte Hornets, on Sunday, Feb. 17, 2019. More than 150 city events are expected during the weekend.

Where: Bojangles’ Coliseum & Spectrum Center More: Prices very depending on the event. Some events are open to the public.

For more information, visit our NBA AllStar Weekend FAQ page or the official NBA All-Star website.

february 17

february 24

cupid’s undie run

ride at the hive

What: Run in this “brief” (pun intended) race for a good cause: finding a cure for Neurofibromatosis, a genetic disorder that affects one in every 3,000 children born.

Running in your underoos is encouraged, but if that’s not for you, just pick one of your favorite costumes to wear for the duration of this one-mile, un-timed fun run.

What: Help the Charlotte Hornets Foundation by pedaling with a purpose at Ride at the Hive. You can participate in one of three cycling classes with CYCLEBAR… then head to the Hornets’ mimosa bar!

You’ll also be able to enjoy a brunch buffet, shop local vendors, bid on items at a silent auction, and snap an amazing Instagram in this unique venue. All you have to do is raise (or donate) $100 to participate — plus, top fundraisers could win floor seats for any 2018-19 game, a suite night for 20 with food and drinks for a 2018-19 regular season game, a meet and greet with Hornets players, a signed jersey or basketball, and more.

When: 12 – 4 p.m.

Where: Whiskey River, 210 E. Trade St., Suite 300A, Charlotte More: $40 Admission. For more information and to register, visit www.cupids.org/ city/charlotte

When: 8 a.m. – 1 p.m.

Where: Spectrum Center, 333 E. Trade Street, Charlotte More: Give or raise at least $100 to participate in this event. For more information or to donate, visit app.mobilecause.com/ vf/JustRide

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Haberdish hype is well-deserved

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hen your friends are like family, and you’re looking for a comfortable place outside of the home, it’s time to take a trip to Haberdish, Jennifer 3106 N. Davidson Zeleski St. Haberdish was one of those Contributor places I held off on for a while.

We all have a list of restaurants that we hope to check off throughout our travels (or am I the only one?), and I was a little worried that Charlotte visitors were tooting the horn of a place offering a local experience of the Southern fare that’s so often done well at smaller, less eccentric restaurants on the outskirts of the city.

But after gathering a few of my favorite people — ones willing to pass the plates, share the spoons and pause to photograph the food before eating it — Haberdish aimed to please, and that it did.

A play on the word haberdashery, the restaurant hopes to “use the table to bring our mill town’s history to life through food.” Its social media posts are what first caught my eye, with macaroni and cheese covered in crispy chicken skins, hush puppies with sweet tea butter, and even a CBDinfused drink called “The Apothecary Cocktail”.

Jen Tota McGivney of Charlotte Magazine gave credit to Colleen Hughes, Haberdish’s bar manager, for creating a handcrafted drink menu with “the eye of an artist, the mind of a scientist, and the playfulness of a kid.” Each cocktail is appealing to both the eye and your taste buds and would be almost impossible to replicate elsewhere.

My boyfriend Peyton and his brother, Parker, think on a similar wavelength and both ordered the Chocolate Peanut Butter Old CREATIVE LOAFING FEBRUARY 2019

Fashioned, which came with ice cubes that captured yellow roses in time, which glinted as they melted in each cup. We had been unaware of the famous, frozen, flower-encompassing ice cubes prior, but were just as fascinated by them as a fellow table, which received a bowl of the Cranberry Sage Punch, and welcomed their floating appearance with a few snaps.

The ingredients, however, were also far from what we could concoct at home: peanut butter infused larceny, tempus fugit crème de cacao, coffee and angostura bitters, and a candied orange garnish.

There was one other cocktail, Stolen Dance, that came adorned with a singular sage leaf that looked debonair, but not pretentious. It was perfect for Amy, Parker’s girlfriend, and featured Doc Porter’s Gin, a house-made cherry sage syrup and cap course rouge aperitif.

Moving into a more comfortable realm of language and palate, the restaurant’s main menu had a heavy focus on snacks and sides.

I wasn’t opposed to this idea, and instead welcomed it for its variety and encouragement of sharing, rather than stockpiling on our own plates. The only problem?

Choosing what sounded the most delicious, and ensuring we had enough to sustain ourselves.

I operate with the mentality that it’s a sin to even turn down snacks, so we went with the daily pickle, which was a Spicy Garlic Dill, and the Pimento Cheese Ball. Two pimento cheese connoisseurs were present at the table, and it would have to live up to the test, rolled in toasted spiced pecans, served with fresh slices of tart green apple and fried saltine crackers. We had a feeling the pickles would be hard not to love.

The pimento cheese was mild and had a creaminess that paired well with the savory saltines. The texture wasn’t off-putting, especially combined with the fine

Haberdish is located at 3106 N. Davidson St. in Charlotte.

crunch of the pecans, and surprisingly held its shape despite various scoops around the table.

It also came plated with pickled red onions, which really took the flavor up a notch, adding a bite of vinegary tartness. If onions aren’t your thing, the sliced green apples could be a substitute to cut the overall heaviness of the snack.

The spicy garlic dill pickles were crisp and offered an addicting, light-garlic flavor with a slight peppery spice, and were enough for a table to share without debate.

We made use of the sharing spoons after the snacks were finished, getting one order of the two-piece fried chicken for Parker, a half chicken with a waffle for Peyton and I to share, an order of the savory bread pudding, a small

plate of the sweet potato dumplings, a bowl of kale grits, a heavy scoop of pickled coleslaw and a vegetarian-friendly option for Amy, the cauliflower steak.

Our table felt like Thanksgiving when the food arrived, carefully arranging the plates so everyone could claim their portions and pick their favorites. When we got our first tastes of it all, the comforting, mouth-watering feeling of the now passed holiday was only elevated.

Amy and I preferred the savory bread pudding, which came baked to a crisp, not at all gooey, and had a hint of cornbread sweetness combined with the gruyere and herbs. It won us over, undeterred by our usual distaste for sweeter cornbread.

The boys avoided it, instead opt-

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ing for the kale grits, which Peyton compared to a broccoli-like flavor that both of them enjoyed.

The grits and cornmeal in each came from Anson Mills, aligning with Haberdish’s local focus by using their organic and heirloom grains from Columbia, South Carolina.

The cauliflower steak was two thick-cut pieces of cauliflower that were “chicken-fried with smoked chimichurri drizzle.” It was smoky in a way that felt too good to truly be vegetarian, but tasty nonetheless. The cauliflower’s crunch was the same as the fried chicken and was more than enough for two to share, especially with sides.

The fried chicken claims to be the second-best to your grandmother’s, and it was great, but maybe not quite up to homecooked, family standards. The half chicken was fit with a leg, thigh, breast and wing, all of which were well-cooked, juicy and paired best with the house-made habanero hot sauce.

We found the waffle to be unnecessary once we dug into the chicken, but it went well with the honey and bourbon-like syrups offered on the side and would satisfy your chicken and waffle craving for brunch or dinner.

The final two dishes were excellent, and some I’ll be craving for some time.

The pickled coleslaw, which came adorned with a few slices of bread and butter pickles, was some of the best slaws I’ve had in the South. The vinegar-based flavor from the pickled cabbage

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and red onions, mixed with the light (not heavy or mayonnaisebased) creaminess, made it a great addition to any plate. I gladly ate it by itself, but it was also a nice combination with the saltiness and crisp skin of the fried chicken.

I could have easily finished the sweet potato dumplings on my own. It was as if Thanksgiving was beaten into the dough of each one, “hand spooned” with brown butter, spiced with sage and sprinkled with parmesan. They weren’t overly sweet but had the buttery, herb-based flavor that is found in holiday comfort food, and quickly became my new must-have dish.

Maybe not what you need for a night of snacks with friends, but definitely what you want when you’ve come to stay awhile.

Welcoming, warm and waitworthy, Haberdish is a must-try.

The food and cocktails live up to the hype, despite what many might view as a hipster vibe and infamous Instagram check-in. The atmosphere will make you kick back and relax — even on the heated patio in the middle of winter. Share a few cocktails, browse the extensive wine menu, or just opt for some house-made tater tots, and memories will be made in no time.

Jennifer Zeleski is a senior Communication major at High Point University, who is always eager to cook, eat and listen. Her many food adventures can be followed on Instagram @jayz_eats.

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The comedy scene in Queen City is no joke

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harlotte has been attracting national headlining comedy acts for decades, but that doesn’t mean the stage is strictly for pros.

Emily Whether your Ferron shtick is standup, sketches, or improv, your felContributor low performers (and audiences) are waiting to welcome you.

Comedy is booming in the post-Internet years – in the era of the Netflix special, podcasts, and social media, and memes, quality laughs are just a few clicks away.

The local live scene precedes all that and flourishes in this generation.

The Comedy Zone is one of the comic community’s longtime anchors. It is both a venue and the biggest comedy booking agency in the country, and it’s been headquartered here in Charlotte for over 30 years. It’s part of the reason that then-newlyweds Johnny and Debbie Millwater decided to move here after completing a cross-country comedy tour in 2005.

At that time, Debbie Millwater explained, “your choices to enjoy comedy were simple: The Comedy Zone operated off of College Street, bringing you the best, most hilarious acts the country had to offer; a single stand-up open mic at a coffee shop by CPCC on Elizabeth Street called SK Net Cafe which later became Crown Station; Robot Johnson sketch comedy operated out of The Perch led

by Sean Keenan of MTV’s Talking Baby fame; and a single improv troupe, Charlotte Comedy Theater, headed by Chicago-trained Keli Semelsberger.”

Options have proliferated since then, thanks in no small part to Millwater herself. “The short story is that I plan roughly 100 comedy shows a year for the up-and-comCREATIVE LOAFING FEBRUARY 2019

ing comedians at The Comedy Zone Charlotte under the banner ‘CrowdPlay.Events.’ I love it. This is my passion. And I am what I am because The Comedy Zone is my biggest fan and supporter,” she said.

What’s more, all three institutions she named are still going strong.

The Comedy Zone is now located in the Avid XChange Music Factory, hosting celebrity acts, standup classes, open mics, and more.

The open mic at Crown Station is said to be one of the most welcoming and well-attended rooms.

Robot Johnson’s next show is in March (see www.robotjohnson. com for updates). Keli Semelsberger, who trained with Amy Poehler, performs, teaches classes, and coaches several improv

performance troupes through The Charlotte Comedy Theater, based in the VIP room at Wet Willie’s.

With this backbone, it’s easy to see why the scene here is thriving.

There are more A-list shows than ever, over a dozen recurring open mics, weekly showcases around the city, and several improv groups. There’s also an annual comedy festival: the third Queen City Comedy Experience will be held at Blumenthal Performing Arts, Sept. 27-29.

There are so many shows, in fact, that many people I chatted up for this article were tongue-tied when I asked them to name their mustsees. As The Comedy Zone’s Joel Pace puts it, there are “too many to name and if I leave someone off the list they will kill me.”

Your best bet to keep up with the busy calendar is to visit “Charlotte Laughs Tonight” on Facebook (www.facebook.com/charlottelaughstonight). The group maintains a comprehensive event listing of all things comedy, from big acts to open mics and writing workshops. Pace encourages you to remember that “comedy is very subjective. Just because you like a certain type/style of comedians doesn’t mean the others will not entertain you. Give them all a try.”

He should know. Not only does Pace book for The Comedy Zone, he also teaches its stand-up class, along with comedians Tim Wright and Derek Blackmon. Many alumni of this class have become professional comics (Julie Scoggins, Paul Hooper, J Bliss, Joe Zim-

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merman, and Mike Speenberg, to name a few) while others are in it to cross something off their bucket lists.

This class is offered five times a year, but since it’s capped at only 15 students at a time, the sessions are typically booked six months in advance. Can’t wait that long?

No worries. If getting involved in comedy is on your bucket list, there are abundant resources to keep you in the know and laughing.

STAND-UP For the latest information about The Comedy Zone’s classes, visit www.cltcomedyzone/classes

IMPROV To take one of Keli Semelsberger’s classes, check out the latest information at www.charlottecomedytheater.com. Improv classes for adults and kids are also offered at Acting Out Studio (www.actingoutstudio.com), a Queen City Comedy affiliate in South Charlotte; the brand new Comedy Arts Theater of Charlotte (CATCh), www.catch.theater; and

by OTC Improv (www.otcimprov. com) which holds classes in Fort Mill.

CONNECT WITH COMICS The closed Facebook group Charlotte Comedy Scene is an active community for both fledgling and established comedians and creatives. Get the inside word on shows and stage time and connect with other comics about the craft. Search for the group through Facebook to request access.

The Comedy Zone also has a podcast that shares recorded shows from national headliners and featured comics every week.

Check out The Comedy Zone Podcast – part of the nascent Queen City Podcast Network – wherever you listen to your podcasts.

Emily Ferron is a community-minded writer with an endless appreciation for good food, drinks, and jokes. IG: @ emilykateferron / www.emilyferronwrites. com.

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SPREAD

GOTCHA COVERED!

Small but mighty: These neighborhood breweries are holding their own

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nce upon a time, a “craft brewery” meant a small operation.

That’s no longer the case, now that many Emily craft brands Ferron are owned and operated by macro-breweries Contributor and many other craft brewers have gone national on their own.

Nevertheless, the Charlotte beer scene has seen a batch of worthy micro- and nano-breweries crop up over the last year.

The recent proliferation has led to a discussion about if and when the local beer bubble will burst.

Do small, independent operations stand a chance against the bigger craft beer makers that are already dominating the regional market? Signs point to yes. These new, small breweries are bringing quality beers to the table, and each one occupies a niche that goes unserved by “big box” beer, craft or otherwise.

TOWN BREWING COMPANY Wesley Heights’ first brewery has quickly become a neighborhood anchor, thanks in part to how thoroughly and reliably it covers its bases. Town Brewing Company boasts a full kitchen with quality seasonal food, fairly cozy indoor and outdoor seating, and ample space to host events – not to mention an accommodating beer list.

“My goal with Town’s beer lineup is to produce a wide range of styles that appeal to casual craft drinkers as well as the biggest beer nerds. A mix of approachable and more experimental beers. Something for everyone,” said head brewer Brian Quinn. This is an appropriate move for a spot that atCREATIVE LOAFING FEBRUARY 2019

tracts a solid mix of people including families, partiers, and earnest Untappd users. Quinn points out that this is a great thing about breweries – their ability to serve as de facto community centers.

Town Brewing also deserves credit for being more comfortable than your average start-up brewery. Let’s face it – a lot of them, even those we know and love, leave something to be desired in the charm department. (Cheap metal chairs and mass-produced art in a drafty warehouse, anyone?) In its location next to Rhino Market, Town maintains that familiar industrial vibe, upgraded with booths, real food, and tasty beers.

PILOT BREWING CO.

You’ll have to know where to look to find this Plaza Midwood brewery; its dark sign and tuckedbehind-Yafo-Kitchen location make it easy to pass by. But this self-described neighborhood nano-brewery isn’t one to miss if you’re into one-of-a-kind beers.

Pilot is small and experimental, but don’t confuse that with amateur. Owner and head brewer Rachael Hudson is an industry veteran with experience at Hardywood Park, Left Hand, and NoDa Brewing Company. Since opening in August, Pilot has churned out a couple of medal-winning brews (Trappist-style single Belgian-

style ale and the Grodziskie Ale) which both took silvers for their categories in the 2018 NC Brewer’s Cup Competition.

The total production volume of the Pilot operation is only three and a half barrels, and that’s by design. Hudson explains the advantages from a business perspective: “Where the market is headed is not favorable for the mid-size production route. Shelf space is dwindling and the fight to find fresh beer in the off-premise market is becoming annoying for the consumer,” she said, citing a desire to keep quality control in-house. Additionally, “the profit margin is significantly

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coast IPA, a hazy IPA and a fruited sour on tap, and then fill in the rest of the list with whatever happens to inspire us at the moment.” In the future, he also plans to expand their lager line up, while continuing to toe the line between experimental and traditional.

BREWING ON THE HORIZON

higher when skipping the distribution model. We don’t spend money or time on canning, bottling and distributing. This allows us to focus on growing through the quality of our beer versus just quantity.”

Brewing small batches also allows Pilot to take more risks in recipe development. Guests will never be bored with its always-rotating draft selection, and the staff has more fun, too: every member of the Pilot team has some level of Cicerone certification, and splits their time between brewing and bartending.

DIVINE BARREL Divine Barrel’s name indicates a reverence for its craft that’s also evident in the quality of its brews.

The NoDa brewery is getting ready to celebrate its first anniversary in March. It already has one major milestone under its belt – a silver

medal at the Great American Beer Festival last September, which is the country’s largest and most wellestablished beer competition.

Divine’s “The Big Lubelski”, a Polish-style Gratzer, won silver in the Historical Beers category. This light but flavorful beer kills it with a mild sweetness, wheatiness, suggestion of funk, and an all-out perfect thread of smoke. It gets its character from oak-smoked wheat malt and Polish Lubelski hops. (Side note: If there’s a food truck outside selling Polish sausages, go for the pairing. It’s a wonderful iteration of the time-honored combo of beer and hot dogs.)

The lineup of beers (12 taps) hits to all fields. “We don’t have any flagship beers, per se, but we do have what we consider flagship styles,” said Ben Dolphens, cofounder and head brewer. “We do our best to always have a west

Protagonist Clubhouse, a twobarrel nanobrewery and taproom, is slated to open in NoDa this spring. Protagonist expects to offer a handful of experimental and even educational beers developed by Head Brewer Jeremy Claeys, most recently Head R&D Brewer for Asheville’s Wicked Weed Brewing. Beverage Director Chris Westgard, an Advanced Cicerone formerly of Huntersville’s Craft Beer Guys bottle shop and taproom, will be tasked with curating the remainder of the Clubhouse’s 24 taps. Protagonist also expects to build a larger facility in Optimist Park, but those plans are still in their early stages.

Charlotte’s beer acolytes are also looking forward to Southern Strain Brewing Company opening doors in Concord. This Brumley Street brewery is the work of Bart Roberts, another of NoDa Brewing Company’s former brewers, along with Jake Allen and Ford Craven.

Craven founded the Cabarras Homebrewers Society in 2011 and has been driving the conversation about local beer via the Cheers Charlotte podcast since 2013.

MIDDLE JAMES BREWING Last but not least, Middle James Brewing is expected to open its door as Pineville’s first brewery in the coming months. Middle James has a large space to fill (a former billiards and darts hall) but since its the product of yet another partnership between Andrew Viapiano, Michael Smoak, and Shannon Wallace – an experienced Charlotte brewer, an award-winning homebrewer, and a hospitality expert, respectively – big things are anticipated.

Emily Ferron is a community-minded writer with an endless appreciation for good food, drinks, and jokes. IG: @emilykateferron / www.emilyferronwrites.com.

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FLICKS SCREEN IT!

Oscar nominations: Roma and other favourites

BY MATT BRUNSON

F

ollowing the recent announcement of the nominations for the 91st Academy Awards, many favorites — or should that be favourites? — still find themselves in the mix while the good fortune of other stars is suddenly stillborn.

Here, then, are the highlights, low points and other notes of interest associated with this year’s crop.

HIGHLIGHTS * The 10 nominations for The Favourite. Director Yorgos Lanthimos’ bawdy period romp earned my vote as the best picture of 2018, so it was gratifying to see it tied with Roma for the most overall nominations. Speaking of Roma, that was No. 3 on my 10 Best list, joined by fellow Best Picture contenders A Star Is Born (No. 6), Black Panther (No. 10), and BlacKkKlansman (Honorable Mentions list). As expected, the Academy continued the awards season category fraud by placing The Favourite’s Olivia Colman in Best Actress and co-leads Rachel Weisz and Emma Stone in Best Supporting Actress, but I suppose that was the only way all three could have been honored for their excellent turns. * Black Panther for Best Picture.

The absence of The Dark Knight from the 2008 Best Picture race was so blatant — and so controversial — that, moving forward, the Academy immediately opened up the number of nominees from the normal five to up to 10 to accommodate the likelihood of more popular favorites being nominated. Of course, that has led to dubious Best Picture nods for some less-than-stellar blockbusters (e.g. The Blind Side, this year’s Bohemian Rhapsody), but on the plus side, it has finally allowed a superhero movie to nab a Best Picture slot — an overdue Academy first. * The Best Animated Feature lineup. Remember that internal rule change instigated last year, the one that allowed the feeble CREATIVE LOAFING FEBRUARY 2019

toon flick The Boss Baby to slip into the Best Animated Feature race? It was expected that this awful turn would continue this year with the desultory likes of The Grinch and Sherlock Gnomes up for Oscars, but happily, that’s not the case.

I have yet to see the Japanese anime yarn Mirai (though it’s been thus far receiving positive reviews), but the other four nominees — Incredibles 2, Isle of Dogs, Ralph Breaks the Internet and SpiderMan: Into the Spider-Verse — are all worthy contenders and deserve their bids. * Sam Elliott for Best Supporting Actor in A Star Is Born. Perhaps my favorite performance in any film this past year came from Elliott, a never-before-nominated veteran who initially seemed like a lock for a nod until he was ignored by the Golden Globes and BAFTA. Thankfully, the Academy came through.

When he learned of the news, Elliott amusingly stated, “It’s about fucking time” before turning more humble. He got it right with that first quip.

The Favourite

LOW POINTS * No noms for youthful leads. The best leading performances I saw in 2018 both came courtesy of young’uns: 15-year-old Elsie Fisher in Eighth Grade and 21-year-old Lucas Hedges in Boy Erased (he was also excellent in Ben Is Back).

Alas, both were overlooked for nominations. * No noms for critical faves. You wouldn’t know it from the relative lack of publicity, but Ethan Hawke won a head-spinning 28 critics’ awards for his leading role in Paul Schrader’s First Reformed — more impressively, he went 3-for-3 in nabbing them from the biggest of the groups (New York, Los Angeles, and National Society). But longtime Oscar prognosticators knew his sort of performance rarely gets singled out by Oscar, and we were right, as he was denied a nomination. Other critical darlings who failed to make the cut: Hereditary’s Toni Collette, Support

Roma the Girls’ Regina Hall, Burning’s Steven Yeun, and Widows’ Elizabeth Debicki. * Bao for Best Animated Short Film. Pixar shorts routinely get nominated in this category regardless of quality, but Bao might be the worst the company has ever produced. Nevertheless, it garnered a nomination. * Three Identical Strangers MIA. There were so many stellar nonfiction features produced in 2018 that a few gems were bound to be left out. Worthy efforts like RBG and Free Solo made the cut, but, to the shock of most, the beloved Mr. Rogers doc Won’t You Be My

Neighbor? was overlooked. For me, the most disappointing omission in the Best Documentary Feature category was Three Identical Strangers, the only doc this year to land on my 10 Best list.

OTHER POINTS OF INTEREST * Every single critics’ group worth its salt — a whopping 31 in total — gave the 2017 Best Supporting Actor award to Willem Dafoe for his remarkable and low-key performance in The Florida Project. Alas, later-in-the-season outfits like the Broadcast Film Critics, the Golden Globes, the Screen Actors Guild,

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A Star Is Born

Eighth Grade the Academy, and, shamefully, my own Southeastern Film Critics Association predictably preferred Sam Rockwell’s showboating, look-Ma-I’m-acting! turn as a lovable racist cop in Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri. Perhaps the Academy felt guilty about its wrong choice since practically nobody predicted Willem Dafoe to immediately nab another nomination this year, this time as Best Actor for his intense turn as Vincent Van Gogh in At Eternity’s Gate. The performance is certainly worthy, but the film was mostly forgotten throughout the season.

Incidentally, besides Dafoe, only

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one other nominee from last year is up again this time. That would be, yup, Rockwell, repped in the Best Supporting Actor category for his amusing if hardly golden turn as George W. Bush in Vice. * Last year, Mary J. Blige became the first person to ever be nominated in both an acting category and a music category in the same year, earning nods for Best Supporting Actress and Best Original Song (“Mighty River”) for Mudbound. History repeated itself immediately, as Lady Gaga now becomes the second person to pull off the feat, grabbing noms for Best Actress and Best Original Song

(“Shallow”) for A Star Is Born. * Black Panther nabbed an impressive seven nominations, but, rather surprisingly, it failed to snag one for Best Visual Effects. Instead, the superhero genre is repped in that category by Avengers: Infinity War. For the record, the other four nominees are Christopher Robin, First Man, Ready Player One, and Solo: A Star Wars Story. * Despite (among other achievements) writing the scripts for three of Martin Scorsese’s best films — Taxi Driver, Raging Bull and The Last Temptation of Christ — Paul Schrader has never been nominated for an Academy Award … until now. With First Reformed, the writer-director is in the running for Best Original Screenplay. * Actress Meryl Streep and composer John Williams are Academy favorites, seemingly earning a nomination every time they leave the house. But for 2018, they were both ignored. Streep appeared in small roles in two sequels, Mary Poppins Returns and Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again, but was rightly bypassed for both. As for Williams, he actually didn’t compose an original score or song in 2018. I mean, you would think that would guarantee he wouldn’t be in the running, but after rewarding him with 51 nominations, I’m surprised the Academy didn’t find a way around that.

OSCAR’S 8 BEST These were the films nominated by the Academy for Best Picture.

1. The Favourite (10 nominations) 2. Roma (10) 3. A Star Is Born (8) 4. Vice (8) 5. Black Panther (7) 6. BlacKkKlansman (6) 7. Bohemian Rhapsody (5) 8. Green Book (5)

CRITICS’ 10 BEST Based on a national sampling of 810 critics, these were the films that appeared the most frequently on 10 Best lists.

1. Roma 2. First Reformed 3. The Favourite 4. If Beale Street Could Talk 5. Eighth Grade 6. Black Panther 7. BlacKkKlansman 8. Burning 9. A Star Is Born 10. Hereditary (Source: www.criticstop10.com)

BRUNSON’S 10 BEST These were my picks for the year’s best movies.

1. The Favourite 2. Eighth Grade 3. Roma 4. The Hate U Give 5. Three Identical Strangers 6. A Star Is Born 7. Widows 8. First Reformed 9. Lean on Pete 10. Black Panther

MOVIEGOERS’ 10 BEST These were the year’s biggest moneymaking releases.

1. Black Panther 2. Avengers: Infinity War 3. Incredibles 2 4. Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom 5. Deadpool 2 6. Aquaman 7. The Grinch 8. Mission: Impossible — Fallout 9. Ant-Man and the Wasp 10. Solo: A Star Wars Story (Source: www.boxofficemojo.com)

...AND THE WORST OK, we now have a sense of which films reigned as the biggest and/or best of 2018. But what about the worst? Glad you asked.

Based on cumulative scores at Rotten Tomatoes, 10 Worst lists, and other factors, these were the year’s biggest turkeys: 1. Gotti 2. Death of a Nation 3. Slender Man 4. Holmes & Watson 5. The 15:17 to Paris

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Chapel Hill’s Blue Cactus play classic country with twists and surprises

TUNES HEAR IT!

B

by

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production touches, and countrypolitan flourishes that followed.

You might think of classic duets between George Jones and Tammy Wynette, or Loretta Lynn and Conway Twitty, Buck Owens and Rose Maddox, Porter Wagoner and Dolly Parton, or maybe Glen Campbell and Tanya Tucker. But Blue Cactus don’t do much of that sassy verse-trading that was a signature of those songs.

They have plenty of the clever wordplay and punchy verbal twists mixed with plainspoken sentiment that is a hallmark of classic country songwriting. Arnez and Stewart also have a knack for those one-two punch titles with tagged-on parentheticals that go off like little explosives at the end of a line: “I Never Knew Heartache (Then I Knew You),” “Forever (Never Happened For Me)” and “Not Alone (‘Til You Come Home).”

On stage, Stewart and Arnez are likely to sport some nifty Western duds, with embroidered designs, high-contrast fringe, pearl snaps, meticulous stitching and a general cowboy snappiness. It’s a kind of visual showmanship, a way of signaling that they mean business, and a nod to tradition.

But just because you put on a Nudie suit doesn’t mean you’re living in some rhinestone-spangled nostalgia kingdom and playing by the Grand Ole Opry formula. Aspects of country music have been filtering back and forth across the American music since the genre became a recognizable thing.

The Cosmic American Music idea hasn’t vanished from the scene since the Flying Burrito Brothers gave it a lift off. Blue Cactus’s songs scoot away from standard country form in a number of ways.

There are surprise chord changes, unexpected meter switcheroos and dramatic gaps, silences and pauses that inch up the tensionand-release factor. Listen to “Anymore Something (Like Anyone’s Someone).” It’s got a lot of little whiplash accents and jump-cut shifts in the time feel. If country

oto

lue Cactus, a retrotinged country band from Chapel Hill, don’t only sing about heartbroken pain. But it is one of their John Adamian areas of exper@johnadamian tise. The singing pair of Mario Arnez and Steph Contributor Stewart had worked together in another project, a string band, before forming Blue Cactus. They had been through breakups of long-term relationships when they began working on the material that made up Blue Cactus’ selftitled 2017 debut.

The band functions as a duo much of the time at live outings, though their studio material is wonderfully fleshed out with a rhythm section, pedal steel and impressively restrained tempos. They’ll play Petra’s in Charlotte on Feb. 15, with Sinners & Saints, and Vilai Harrington & the Hamptones. I spoke with Arnez and Stewart by phone recently from their home in Chapel Hill.

Heartache never gets old. Or, at least, people never grow tired of singing about it and listening to songs about romantic turmoil, faded love, somebody doing somebody wrong, or just crying from lonesomeness. Country music is especially good at devising thematic permutations to cover all the varieties of heartsickness.

Drinking songs and truck songs and hometown songs are often just a way of leading back to the same subject.

“That’s what a lot of the thematic element is in the great classic country,” Stewart said. “It really is about the grittiest heartache.”

Stewart and Arnez were drawn to golden country from the ‘60s and ‘70s, with a residual hint of honky-tonk swagger, along with the growing sophistication of lush

Ph

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Heartaches by the number:

K.

B.

At wa ter

music is often about familiarity and comfort, this is more like having the rug artfully pulled out from under you without even noticing it.

Arnez says he stays on the lookout to avoid being too predictable.

“If I’m in the middle of writing something and just get an impulse that things are starting to get phoned in, maybe that’s just a gut reaction that I need to mix it up,” he said.

Classic country isn’t known for its speeding tempos, but even with that in mind, one of the things that catches your ear and maybe your breath about Blue Cactus is the way that they can keep a song up and running at an ultraslow trapped-in-amber feel, like on “Forever (Never Happened For Me).” You could compare it to snail-pace country classics like Charlie Rich’s insanely chill “Life Has Its Little Ups and Downs,” but you might just as reasonably draw a connection to indie rock bands like Codeine and Brightblack Morning Light, bands that turned a narcotized time-feel into an entire aesthetic.

Last fall, Blue Cactus released a new single, “Radiohead,” a song that continues in that slow-drip mode. Stewart sings with a captivating, gritted-teeth intensity and tremble. Arnez plays some lovely bright and snarling Telecaster.

Fans of the Jayhawks, Father John

Misty, and Aimee Mann will appreciate what Stewart and Arnez are up to. Fans of William Tyler and Gillian Welch will find plenty to enjoy, too.

Stewart and Arnez are going into the studio at the end of next month. Now that they’ve presumably recovered some from the heartbreak and heartache that they had experienced when they started working on Blue Cactus, the pair are off into other interesting territory. Based on the sound of “Radioman,” there may be a little less twang and drawl in their next batch of songs.

But the sound still hints at the vastness of the American landscape and the same big corresponding geography of emotion and memory.

Like most songwriters, Stewart and Arnez spend a fair amount of time pondering the mysteries of what makes a good tune--how best to craft the component parts, when to leap up, when to drop back, how to tell a story that’s specific and yet universal, how to mix a little humor in with the pathos, how to be simple without being boring, how to add complexity without weighing things down with frills, how to be honest and connect with people. Those are all things that most good music and good songs. How you think about the genre trappings is a mental puzzle.

“It’s a kind of music that will always make sense to people,” Arnez said. “It’s just whether or not they have preconceived notions that are gonna get in the way of their enjoying it.”

JOHN ADAMIAN lives in WinstonSalem, and his writing has appeared in Wired, The Believer, Relix, Arthur, Modern Farmer, the Hartford Courant and numerous other publications.

WANNA go?

See Blue Cactus at Petra’s, 1919 Commonwealth Ave., Charlotte, at 9 p.m. $7. With Sinners & Saints, and Vilai Harrington & the Hamptones.

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Local & Live Apostrophe Lounge

1440 S Tryon St, Charlotte | 704.371.7079 www.apostrophelounge.com Sundays: Sweet & Sour Wednesdays: Industry Night

ft. DJ Negenius

Blue Blaze Brewing

528 S Turner Ave, Charlotte | 980.859.2586 www.blueblazebrewing.com Thursdays: Acoustic Patio Jams

Blumenthal Performing ARts

130 N Tryon St, Charlotte | 888.363.2418 www.blumenthalarts.org Feb 7: Sal Valentinetti Feb 12: Havana Cuba All-Stars Feb 13: Patti Labelle Feb 15: The Taj Mahal Trio Feb 15: Sarah McLachlan Feb 16: The Golden Era

of Hip-Hop Feb 25: Travis Greene &

Mosaic MSC Feb 26: Asleep At The Wheel

String Band Feb 27: Southside Johnny & The Asbury Jukes Mar 1: Marc Broussard Mar 2: Sisters In Song Mar 5: Black Violin Mar 5: The Choir Of Man

BoatYard Eats

18418 Statesville Rd, Cornelius | 704.997.8201 www.boatyardeats.com Feb 1: Bender Funk Feb 2: Bullfrog Moon Feb 7: Uptown Dueling Pianos Feb 8: Black Glass Feb 15: 20 Ride Feb 16: DECARLO Feb 22: Tim Clark Band Feb 23: Blue Monday Mar 1: HC Oakes Band Mar 2: Sammy Miller & The Congregation

bojangles coliseum 2700 E Independence Blvd | 704.372.3600 www.bojanglescoliseum.com

Cabarrus Brewing Company, Concord

329 McGill Ave NC, Concord | 704.490.4487 www.cabarrusbrewing.com Wednesdays: Trivia Night

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Submissions should be sent to designer@yesweekly.com by 15th of every month, prior to the publication date.

Local music Events | Compiled by Alex Farmer

Cajun Queen

1800 E 7th St, Charlotte | 704.377.9017 www.cajunqueen.net Ongoing: Live Jazz 7 Nights A Week

cmcu amphitheatre

former Uptown Amphitheatre 820 Hamilton St | 704.549.5555 www.livenation.com

Comet Grill

2224 Park Rd, Charlotte | 704.371.4300 www.cometgrillcharlotte.com Sundays: Omari & The Hellhounds Tuesdays: Red Rockin’ Chair Wednesdays: Open Mic

with Leebo Fridays: The Lenny Federal Band

Coyote Joe’s

4621 Wilkinson Blvd, Charlotte | 704.399.4946 www.coyote-joes.com Feb 8: Travis Denning Feb 15: Drake White Feb 22: Tucker Beathard Mar 1: DJ Kool Big Day Party

Crown Station Coffeehouse & Pub

3629 N Davidson St, Charlotte | 704.910.2249 www.crownstationpub.com Mondays: Jazz Mondays Tuesdays: Soulful Tuesdays Wednesdays: Nonconsensual Comedy Open Mic Thursdays: Open Mic Night

Evening Muse

3227 N Davidson St, Charlotte | 704.376.3737 www.eveningmuse.com Feb 6: Tosco Music Open Mic Feb 7: The Contenders & Elisa Davis Feb 8: BJ Barham Feb 9: Folk Soul Revival,

Hustle Souls & Down North Feb 11: Open Mic w/

Brook Pridemore Feb 12: All Organic Comedy Open Mic Feb 15: Pierce Edens, Dirty Grass

Players & Michael Tracy Band Feb 16: Erin Enderlin, Brooke

McBride, King Myers, Valley Gawd, Lil Wo, Thurdii,

& Splash Gang Entertainment Feb 17: The Spongetones

Drake White @ Coyote Joe’s Feb 18: Open Mic Feb 19: Jesse Lamar Williams & The Menastree Jazz Jam Feb 20: Jukebox Rehab Feb 21: Songs from the Road Band Feb 22: Dead Horses + The Brother Brothers &

Bakalao Stars Feb 23: Caroline Keller Band,

Sugar & Steel, Little Bird & The Business People Feb 24: Ron Brendle Quartet CD Release, Troy Conn,

Keith Davis & John Spurrier Feb 25: Open Mic w/

Justin Kennedy Feb 27: Heather Himes & The Tales of Woe, Minorcan

& David Z. Cox Feb 28: Big Ole Team & Chris Larkin Mar 1: A Fragile Tomorrow, Mitch Easter & Sweet Lizzy Project Mar 2: Jim Avett, Amigo & Temperance League Mar 3: Richard Shindell Mar 4: Open Mic

Hattie’s Tap & Tavern

2918 The Plaza, Charlotte | 980.938.6228 www.hattiescharlotte.com Tuesdays: Bingo Thursdays: Karaoke

Heist Brewery

2909 N Davidson St, Suite 200, Charlotte | 704.375.8260 www.heistbrewery.com Wednesdays: Team Trivia Thursdays: Music Bingo

JackBeagle’s

3213 N Davidson St, Charlotte | 704.334.5140 www.jackbeagles.com Wednesdays: Open Mic Night

Label

900 NC Music Factory Blvd, Charlotte | 704.910.0526 www.label-house.com/labelweb Sundays: Hip-Hop

Legion Brewing

1906 Commonwealth Ave, Charlotte | 844.467.5683 www.legionbrewing.com Mondays: Open Mic w/ Lisa De Novo

Neighborhood Theatre

511 E 36th St, Charlotte | 704.942.7997 www.neighborhoodtheatre.com Feb 6: Erika Wennerstrom of

the Heartless Bastards Feb 7: Daley + Jmsn Feb 8: Perpetual Groove Feb 11: The Neal Morse Band Feb 12: Alan Doyle w/

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Feb 15: Junkyard w/ Charlie Bonnett III & The Folkin’ Gasholes Feb 16: 4th Ave w/ Rayla & Ajag Feb 17: The Foxies Feb 18: Aaron Carter w/ Justin

Stone & Rookie Of The Year Feb 19: Michael Glabicki of Rusted Root w/ Dirk Miller Feb 20: Nightly Feb 21: Big Sam’s Funky Nation

w/ Africa Unplugged Feb 22: Time Sawyer w/

Dane Page Feb 26: Donna Missal w/ Samia Feb 28: Future Thieves Mar 1: Kodie Shane Mar 2: Justin Hayward w/

Michael Dawes Mar 4: Dr. Dog w/ The Nude Party Mar 5: The Last Bison

Ovens auditorium 2700 E Independence Blvd | 704.372.3600 www.ovensauditorium.com

Petra’s

1919 Commonwealth Ave, Charlotte | 704.332.6608 www.petrasbar.com Feb 6: Bugalú - Old School Latin Boogie Feb 7: Valentin Rockero Feb 8: Dane Page, Clint Roberts, The Remarks & Zack Joseph Feb 9: The Eybrows, Toleman Randall & Mystery Plan Feb 11: Winter Residency w/ Four Finger Records Feb 12: Crafty Hour w/ Crowned Sparrow Feb 12: Drag Trivia w/ Onya Feb 13: Karaoke Night Feb 14: Potions & Pixels Feb 16: Mardis Gras Feb 17: Hazy Sunday Feb 19: Foreplay Goes South Feb 20: Karaoke Night Feb 22: Mirror Moves Feb 23: Su CASA Feb 27: Karaoke Night Feb 28: Modern Moxie,

Jessie Frye & Kevin Goodwin Mar 2: Off The Wall Mar 3: Hazy Sunday Mar 4: Piano Bar Karaoke w/ Ryan Stamey Mar 6: Karaoke Night Mar 6: Bugalú - Old School Latin Boogie

pnc music pavilion

707 Pavilion Blvd | 704.549.1292 www.livenation.com

creative loafing FEBRUARY 2019

Roxbury Nightclub

116 W 5th St, Charlotte | 704.375.8090 www.roxburynightclub.com

Salud Cerveceria

3306-C N Davidson St, Charlotte | 980.495.6612 www.saludcerveceria.com

Skylark Social Club 2131 Central Ave, Charlotte | 980.236.8342 www.skylarksocialclub.com

Smokey Joe’s Cafe

510 Briar Creek Rd, Charlotte | 704.338.9380 www.smokeyjoescharlotte.com Tuesdays: Open Jam w/ The Smokin’ Js Wednesdays: Quincey Blues Thursdays: Shana Blake & Friends

Snug Harbor

1228 Gordon St, Charlotte | 704.333.9799 www.snugrock.com Feb 7: Le Bang Feb 8: An Ode To Southern Rap of All Eras Feb 10: Bone Snugs-N-Harmony Feb 11: Knocturnal Feb 12: Sweat Transfer w/ Mariah Van Kleef & 1970s Film Stock Feb 12: GLBL Feb 13: HECTORINA w/ Chócala

& Patois Counselors Feb 14: Le Bang Feb 17: Bone Snugs-N-Harmony Feb 18: Knocturnal presents Nickelus F & Michael Millions Feb 29: GLBL w/ Ahuf Feb 20: HECTORINA w/ Gardeners & Wieuca Feb 21: Le Bang Feb 22: VOLK w/ The Veldt &

Biggins Feb 24: Bone Snugs-N-Harmony Feb 25: Knocturnal Feb 26: Resse McHenry w/

Matthew Paul Butler & Mateja Feb 26: GLBL Feb 27: HECTORINA w/

Wild Trees & Minthill Feb 28: Le Bang Mar 1: Blow Your Head Mar 3: Bone Snugs-N-Harmony Mar 4: Knocturnal Mar 5: Sneaks w/ High Cube

& Sidenote Mar 5: GLBL

SPECTRUM CENTER

333 E Trade St | 704.688.9000 www.spectrumcentercharlotte.com Feb 24: Fleetwood Mac Mar 9: P!nk Apr 6: The Millennium Tour ft.

Gin Blossoms @ The Fillmore

Mario, Pretty Ricky, Lloyd,

Ying Yang Twins, Chingy

& Bobby V Jun 10: Ariana Grande Jun 12: Twenty Øne Piløts Jul 9: NKOTB Aug 23: Queen + Adam Lambert Aug 24: Alan Jackson Nov 6: Elton John

‘Stache House Bar & Lounge

1520 South Blvd, Suite 120, Charlotte | 704.335.0530 www.stachehouseclt.com

Studio 13

19725 Oak St, Suite 13, Cornelius | 704.765.1794 www.facebook.com/studio13nc

Summitt Coffee Co.

128 S Main St, Davidson | 704.895.9090 www.summitcoffee.com Feb 7: Colton Sherrill Feb 8: Mike Strauss Trio Feb 9: Kevin Williams Duo Feb 12: Young Elites Feb 13: Open Mic Night Feb 14: Songwriters Showcase Feb 15: Sunday Union Feb 16: Caroline Keller Band Feb 20: Open Mic Night Feb 21: Randy Culbertson & Friends Feb 22: Rusty Knox Feb 23: Ricky Spreitzer & The Antique Babies Feb 27: Open Mic Night Feb 28: Jacob Dixon

Mar 2: Grievous Angels Mar 5: Young Elites Mar 6: Open Mic Night

Sydney’s Martini & Wine Bar

401 N Tryon St, Suite 104, Charlotte | 704.503.9060 www.sydneysmartiniandwinebar.com

Sylvia Theatre

27 N Congress St, York, SC | 803.684.5590 www.sylviatheatre.com Feb 15: Darryl Worley Feb 19: Mark O’Connor w/

Maggie O’Connor Feb 22: Carolina Everyday w/ Chris Golden Mar 3: ABACAB

Temple Mojo Growler Shop

195 N Trade St, Matthews | 704.246.8196 www.templemojo.com First Thursday: Open Mic w/ Lisa De Novo

The Fillmore

1000 NC Music Factory Blvd | 704.916.8970 www.fillmorecharlottenc.com Feb 8: Walk The Moon Feb 8: The Sweet Spot Feb 9: Bryce Vine Feb 10: Yung Gravy Feb 12: St. Paul & The Broken Bones Feb 18: In Flames Feb 18: YNW Melly

www.clclt.comw

Feb 19: Anderson .Paak & The Free Nationals Feb 20: Alan Walker Feb 21: ThouxanbanFauni Feb 22: Mike Stud Feb 22: Who’s Bad Feb 23: Dylan Scott Feb 23: Off With Your Radiohead Feb 24: The-Dream Feb 25: Wet & Kilo Kish Feb 26: Gin Blossoms Feb 28: A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie Mar 1: West Coast High 2019 ft.

Cypress Hill & Hollywood

Undead Mar 5: Citizen Cope Mar 6: Subtronics w/

Blunts & Blondes

Mar 6: Weakened Friends w/

Well Wisher, Stress Fractures

& More

The Peculiar Rabbit 1212 Pecan Ave, Charlotte | 704.333.9197 www.therabbitspot.com Thursdays: Karaoke Fridays: Latin Night

The Press Box Bar & Grill 9609 N Tryon St, Charlotte | 704.717.2727 www.thepressboxnc.com

Feb 17: DJ Holla Feb 19: Ellie Morgan Feb 20: Karaoke Feb 21: Friends 2.0 Trivia Feb 21: DJ Matt B Feb 22: The Jump Cut Feb 22: DJ Nick Martin Feb 23: Cooper Alan Feb 24: DJ Holla Feb 26: Wurliday Feb 27: Karaoke Feb 28: DJ Apollo

Three Spirits Brewery

The Shed Amphitheater 600 E Sugar Creek Rd, Charlotte www.facebook.com/theshedcharlotte

5046 Old Pineville Rd, Charlotte | 980.207.4881 www.threespiritsbrewery.com Thursdays: Cardio Funk Fridays: Music Bingo

8625 Townley Rd, Huntersville | 704.892.7571 www.tkbbirkdale.com Feb 22: 23/4 Mar 1: Daniel Smith Mar 8: Chris McPeck

The Thirsty Beaver Saloon

Whisky river

The Milestone

820 Hamilton St, Charlotte | 704.916.8970 www.livenation.com Feb 9: Bryce Vine Feb 10: Yung Gravy Feb 18: YNW Melly Feb 22: Mike Stud Feb 23: Off With Your Radiohead Feb 24: The-Dream Feb 25: Wet & Kilo Kish Feb 26: Gin Blossoms New

Miserable Experience Mar 6: Subtronics w/

Blunts & Blondes

The Kilted Buffalo

3400 Tuckaseegee Rd, Charlotte | 704.398.4072 www.themilestone.club Feb 7: Lassyu w/ The Dirty Low Down, Labia Minor & Swamp78 Feb 8: Rickolus w/

Bedroomsessions &

Mr. Genius and the Robot Inventors Feb 9: Milestone Galentines’ Day Extravaganza w/ Sext

Message, Gardeners,

Heckdang, Problem Addict

& Annabeth Berry Feb 10: Metal Church

Sunday Service Feb 13: Okapi w/ Ghost Trees,

Joules & JPH Feb 15: Bergenline w/ Charles

Walker, Lonely Jones & More Feb 16: AEther Realm w/

Wilderun, All Hell & Rites to Sedition Feb 17: Metal Church

Sunday Service Feb 18: Jail Socks w/ Origami Angel, Commander

Salamander & Dollhands Feb 19: Azotador w/ Perpetual

Warfare, Nemesis &

Morganton Feb 23: Electrohex w/ DJ Price Feb 24: Metal Church

Sunday Service Mar 1: Alluvion w/ Pleasure To Burn, Dark Sun Kult & More Mar 3: Fool’s Ghost w/

Wailin Storms, Whispering

Man & More

mwww.clclt.com

1225 Central Ave, Charlotte | 704.332.3612 www.facebook.com/The-Thirsty-BeaverSaloon-155129104571598

The Underground

210 E Trade St, A-208, Charlotte | 704.749.1097 www.dalejrswhiskyriver.com Wednesdays: Trivia Thursdays: Karaoke

Wild Wing Cafe (EpiCentre)

210 E Trade St, Charlotte | 704.716.9464 www.wildwingcafe.com/locations/charlotteuptown-nc

Feb 8: Mike Haywood Due Feb 22: Mike Huffman

Vibrations

5237 Albemarle Rd, Charlotte | 704.537.3323 www.vibrationsclub.com Fridays: DJ KL Saturdays: Rae Styles w/ Old School 105.3

Visulite Theatre

1615 Elizabeth Ave, Charlotte | 704.358.9200 www.visulite.com Feb 7: Rayland Baxter w/ Illiterate Light Feb 8: Tauk w/ People’s Blues Of Richmond Feb 9: Martin Sexton w/ Chris Trapper Feb 12: Spafford Feb 13: VHS Collection Feb 16: Big Mammas House

of Burlesque Feb 22: Mike Doughty w/

Wheatus Mar 1: Interstellar Overdrive A Saucerful Of Pink Floyd Mar 2: All Them Witches w/

Plague Vendor

Tin Roof

210 E Trade St, Suite 286, Charlotte | 704.910.1330 www.tinroofcharlotte.com Feb 6: Karaoke Feb 7: Taylor Dean & The Dean’s List Feb 7: DJ Holla Feb 8: DJ Matt B Feb 8: Cardfall Feb 9: Kasey Tyndall Feb 9: DJ Blake Feb 9: Trey Lewis Feb 10: DJ Holla Feb 11: Music Trivia Feb 12: Stephen Evans,

Sofia Lynch, Seth Brand &

Pauline Evers Feb 13: Karaoke Feb 14: Caleb Lee Hutchinson Feb 14: DJ Karz Feb 15: Mic Larry Feb 15: DJ Holla Feb 16: Pluto For Planet Feb 16: DJ Apollo FEBRUARY 2019

creative loafing

19

20

NEWS OF THE WEIRD WAIT, WHAT?

Vaev, a Los LAST CALL Angeles-based internet startup, BREAK TIME! is offering consumers the “luxury to choose” when to become sick with a cold, gushes 34-year-old Oliver Niessen, the company’s founder. For $79.99, Vaev will send you a box containing a petri dish, which houses a facial tissue used by a sick person. Niessen explained to Time magazine that the recipient wipes their nose with the provided tissue and contracts a cold virus to get it out of the way before, say, leaving on a vacation. But Charles Gerba, professor of microbiology at the University of Arizona, debunked Niessen’s theory: “There are more than 200 types of rhinoviruses ... getting inoculated from one doesn’t protect you against all the others.”

He adds that Vaev’s customers will never know what exactly is on the provided tissues, which Niessen says are produced by a “stable” of 10 go-to sneezers, some recruited on the internet. Still, Neissen claims to have sold about 1,000 used tissues, although the company’s website currently shows the product as sold out. “We’ve had some supplychain issues,” Niessen said, without offering details.

GIFT WITH PURCHASE

A shopper at a Primark store in Essex, England, was startled to discover a human bone in a sock on Dec. 10. Essex police reassured the public that the bone “did not appear to be a result of recent trauma,” and it did not have any skin attached to it, according to Sky News. A Primark spokesman said the company is checking with its supplier, and “No evidence of any kind exists to suggest that any incident has occurred in the factory, so it is highly probable that this object was placed in the sock by an individual for unknown reasons.”

POLICE REPORT

A motorist in New Canaan, Connecticut, called police on Jan. 23 after spotting a woman stopped at an intersection in the driver’s seat of her car with her eyes closed. When officers arrived, they found Stefanie Warner-Grise, 50, “unable to answer basic questions,” according to the arrest report. They “detected an CREATIVE LOAFING FEBRUARY 2019

envelope and everything odor of vanilla coming will be ok.” The employee from her breath (and) her did as directed and the speech was slurred. ... In robber left the building, addition, several bottles of then hopped on a Jump pure vanilla extract were electric scooter and took located inside the vehicle.” off down the sidewalk. He The Hour reported Warnerperhaps failed to consider Grise failed field sobriety that the scooters are linked tests and she was charged Chuck to GPS tracking systems with driving under the and online accounts with influence of vanilla extract.

Shepherd phone numbers, email The Food and Drug Adminaddresses and credit card istration requires that pure information, which, after police obvanilla extract must be at least 35 tained them from Jump, led them percent alcohol, which makes it 70 to Mangiarano. Austin Detective proof.

Jason Chiappardi told The Washington Post: “We had never had a IT’S GOOD TO HAVE GOALS scooter involved in a robbery.”

Pavol Durdik added another Guinness world record to his collection Aug. 3 in Puchov, Slovakia by BRIGHT IDEA extinguishing 62 lighted matches Outdoorsman Scott Ritchie of with his tongue within one minute, Loveland, Colorado, has a new according to United Press Internalease on life thanks to 3D printing. tional. In a video posted by GuinRitchie, 52, was diagnosed with a ness World Records on Jan. 25, rare form of bone cancer in early Durdik had the matches laid out in 2018 after noticing pain in his hip front of him and lighted each one after fly-fishing. CBS4 in Denver before putting it out on his tongue. reported Dr. Ronald Hugate of the He also holds the record for most Panorama Orthopedics and Spine socks put on one foot within 30 Center in Highlands Ranch took an seconds. aggressive and creative approach to treating Ritchie: He made a 3D virtual model of Ritchie’s pelGUTSY vis, then designed an implant to So much for advanced Russian exactly replace the area of bone security. As art lovers browsed an that would have to be surgically exhibition at Moscow’s Tretyakov removed. Made of titanium, the Gallery on Jan. 27, Euro News reimplant was produced using a ported, a thief nonchalantly strolled 3D printer. Two weeks later after in, plucked a 1908 landscape by surgery, Ritchie was walking with Arkhip Kuindzhi off the wall, and crutches and is expected to walk walked out of the building. Police on his own in a few weeks more, quickly viewed surveillance video although he was warned he might and arrested a 31-year-old man, have a limp. “If I do have a limp, it’s who admitted he hid the painting, better than nothing,” Ritchie said. worth an estimated $185,000, in an unfinished building nearby. The gallery was able to recover the paintUH, NO ing and announced that “security On Jan. 29, the Chenoa (Illinois) measures have been reinforced ...

Police Department put a call out at all venues of the Tretyakov Galfor volunteers to help with a training lery.” session taking place that evening.

“Officers are undergoing their annual Taser training tonight ... and LEAST COMPETENT CRIMINAL are looking for members of the Police in Austin, Texas, caught up public who are willing to volunteer with 19-year-old suspect Luca P. for the experience,” announced Mangiarano on Jan. 24, a month WEEK-TV. Volunteers were required after a bank robbery in large part to sign an “exposure waiver” in because of his choice in getaway order to participate, but it was vehicles. According to police, unclear whether the Tasers would Mangiarano stepped into the be live.

BBVA Compass bank on Dec. 18 and handed a note to a teller, reading: “This is a robbery, please EWWWW! give me all your 100’s and 50’s in a Penny Pospisil, 47, of Sumter

County, Florida, was arrested on Jan. 25 for the alleged murder of her boyfriend, 55-year-old Anthony Mitchell, according to WFTV. Investigators believe that last August, in the Lake Pan RV Village where Pospisil and Mitchell lived, she killed Mitchell and cut his body into pieces, living with the remains in their camper. When neighbors asked about him, she explained that Mitchell had died of natural causes and she had him cremated.

But they also noticed a foul odor coming from the camper and that Pospisil was regularly showering at the pool. When police arrived in December to investigate her overdue lot fee, she told them that she was a victim of domestic violence and had killed Mitchell in self-defense. She faces charges of second-degree murder and abuse of a dead human body.

BLAME IT ON THE METH

Debra Lynn Johnson, 69, of Searles, Minnesota, suffered from heart disease, diabetes, high blood pressure and mental illnesses, according to the Mankato Free Press, and was a patient at a transitional care center before her husband took her home to have a “death party,” he later told authorities. Brown County sheriff’s officers responding to a 911 call from Duane Arden Johnson, 58, on Jan. 24 found the words “Death Parde God Hell” spray-painted on the front door. Duane came out of the house naked, yelled that his wife was dead and ran back inside, where officers found him in the bathtub picking “things” from his skin. Debra’s body, still warm, was wrapped in a sheet. Duane told police his wife had begged him to take her home to die, so they had staged the party, “rocking out” to Quiet Riot’s “Metal Health” and taking methamphetamines. After her death, Duane said he washed and wrapped her “like the Bible told me to do.” Police found stolen guns and hundreds of rounds of ammunition in the home, and Duane was charged with felony counts of theft and receiving stolen property.

© 2019 CHUCK SHEPHERD. Universal Press Syndicate. Send your weird news items with subject line WEIRD NEWS to WeirdNewsTips@amuniversal.com.

WWW.CLCLT.COMW

king crossword

weekly sudoku

A sound conclusion

ACROSS 1 Live online workshop 8 Public poster 15 Malcolm- -- Warner

(“The Cosby Show” actor) 20 14th-century

music style 21 Arrives leisurely 22 Belittle 23 Certain frat member

receiving his diploma?

25 Sing sweetly 26 Cove 27 Assuage 28 Muddy mixture 29 Met melody 32 Took way too much,

for short 34 Gyro bread with lots of

extra hidden calories?

37 Heavenly food made

from very hot peppers?

41 -- -garde 42 Sauna stuff 43 Singer Acuff 44 Stew 45 Toon pic 48 San Francisco’s -- Hill 50 Target number of

coverage policies?

54 Download for an

iDevice 57 Denmark’s -- Islands 59 High trains 60 Detach, as a lapel mic 61 Randomly mixed stack

of Bing Crosby and Bill

Haley albums?

65 Folded a line into, say 67 With 24-Down,

reduced-cost product 68 Glam rocker Brian 69 Lav

mwww.clclt.com

70 71 72 74

77

78

79 80 81

86 88 89 90 91 95 97

101

105 106 107 108 111 113 114

120 121 122 123 124

125

Aviary locale Bridge, in France Florida city Fish dish that’s a chef’s specialty?

Rizzo in “Midnight Cowboy” Platform that runs on iDevices Ran easily La. neighbor Brass instrument with a dental product smeared all over it?

“O Sole --” Sheepish “-- well that ends well” Alias initials Idiot box Provide Hair dye produced in a county in southwest England?

Chatty bird with shiny gray plumage?

Pirate chant starter Took a train, e.g.

Pilot a plane Prefix with skeleton Thin iPods Swiss chocolate brand Sitcom title woman living in a wasteland?

Actor Jason Energize Algebra rule Totally love Toronto Blue Jays’ stadium, before 2005 Salzburg site

DOWN 1 Joking sort

2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15

16 17 18 19 24 28 29 30 31 33 35 36 38 39 40 44 45 46

47 49 50

51 52 53 54 55

Be mistaken Gp. with merit badges Hoosier Verb go-with “Why” singer Frankie Like a very clean film Maven Solitary -- -Seltzer Top-level Fluttery tree Tear Stuff in the gene pool “Charlie’s Angels” co-star Smith Rudely brief Native New Zealander Of -- (somewhat) Lotte of film See 67-Across Glide (over) Belly muscles Groove Fury Mended, as a sock Works to get With, to Luc “Toodles!”

Rebels’ yells Sch. in the Big Apple FDR’s terrier Reneges -- Aigner (fashion brand) Real-estate levy Bundled up, as hay Prefix for an element used in antiseptics Mission to gather intel “-- pasa?”

Not likely Classifies Ramses II, for one

56

58 62 63 64 65 66 70

73 74 75 76 78 82 83 84 85 87 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 109 110 112 114 115 116 117 118 119

Plaything dragged on a string City in Nevada Mega-meal “Fuer --” Gear piece Brilliant move Composer Ned Reverse alphabetical order Japanese drama style Tosspots New York’s capital Singer Piaf R&B’s -- Brothers San Diego ballplayer One reuning Asian “way” Loc. of Kiev Exceeded, as a target -- -Cat Put a stop to -- Bo Dodging type Irk Forthright Skye of film California mountain Japan’s largest island Zesty dip Vine-covered Group jargon Nervous -- (worrywart) “Whip It” rock band City in Utah Iron sources Film director Craven Ballpoint fill La.-to-Ill. dir.

Bruin Bobby Agnus -- (Mass part) Drs.’ org.

YOUR DELICIOUS ALTERNATIVE SOURCE

FEBRUARY 2019

creative loafing

21

22

HALF HOUR FREE

horoscopes ARIES (March 21 to April 19) Some unsettling facts about a past situation could come to light. And while you’d love to deal with it immediately, it’s best to get more information to support your case.

TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) A straightforward approach to a baffling situation is best. Don’t allow yourself to be drawn into an already messy mass of tangles and lies. Deal with it and move on.

a family dispute involving a legal matter, regardless of whom you support. Leave that to the lawyers.

SCORPIO (October 23 to November 21) An awkward situation presents the usually socially savvy Scorpian with a problem.

But a courteous and considerate approach soon helps clear the air and ease communication.

GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) Don’t be discouraged or deterred by a colleague’s negative opinion about your ideas. It could actually prove to be helpful when you get around to finalizing your plan.

SAGITTARIUS (November 22 to December 21) A calmer, less-tense atmosphere prevails through much of the week, allowing you to restore your energy levels before tackling a new challenge coming up by week’s end.

CANCER (June 21 to July 22) Ignore that sudden attack of “modesty,” and step up to claim the credit you’ve so rightly earned. Remember: A lot of people are proud of you and want to share in your achievement.

CAPRICORN (December 22 to January 19) Your approach to helping with a friend or family member’s problem could boomerang unless you take time to explain your method and how and why it (usually!) works.

LEO (July 23 to August 22) A financial “deal” that seems to be just right for you Leos and Leonas could be grounded more in gossamer than substance. Get an expert’s advice to help you check it out.

AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18) Someone who gave you a lot of grief might ask for a chance for the two of you to make a fresh start. You need to weigh the sincerity of the request carefully before giving your answer.

VIRGO (August 23 to September 22) Don’t ignore that suddenly cool or even rude attitude from someone close to you.

Asking for an explanation could reveal a misunderstanding you were completely unaware of.

LIBRA (September 23 to October 22) Unless you have sound knowledge, and not just an opinion, it’s best not to step into

PISCES (February 19 to March 20) Too much fantasizing about an upcoming decision could affect your judgment. Better to make your choices based on what you know now rather than on what you might learn later. © 2019 by King Features Syndicate, Inc.

answers crossword crossword on page 21

sudoku

sudoku on page 21

Real Singles, Real Fun...

888-572-3140 18+ creative loafing FEBRUARY 2019

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the advice goddess love · sex · dating · marriage · questions

Areola 51

A lot of women are posting pix of themselves on Instagram in very skimpy attire. I don’t feel comfortable doing that (though I’m in great Amy Alkon shape), because Advice I’m single and Goddess I’m afraid men would think I’m “easy.” Am I right in thinking men don’t take you seriously as relationship material if you post this type of pix? Or am I prudish and out of touch? — Curious Ideally, if you tell somebody you have a few more weeks out on disability, they don’t immediately assume it’s because you got really bad friction burns working the pole.

Evolutionary psychologist Cari Goetz and her colleagues note — not surprisingly — that men see skimpy attire on a woman as a signal that they can manipulate her into casual sex. (Women in their research also understood that men perceive skimpy attire this way.) But who actually ends up manipulating whom?

Just like in the advertising world, in the natural world, there are many, shall we say, less-than-truthful messages — from humans, animals, and even some nasty little con artists of the plant world. Take the flower Ophrys apifera, aka the bee orchid. The bee orchid puts out fake female bee scent, and it’s got markings and a slight coating of “fur” like female bees. The poor little sex-mad male bees try to hump the bee orchids and, in the process, pick up orchid pollen that they end up transferring when

they try their luck with the next orchid in a lady bee suit.

Goetz and her team speculate that some women — especially those who perceive themselves to be “low in mate value” — use revealing attire to advertise what seems to be their hookupability and other “exploitability cues.”

However, these seemingly poor, defenseless sex bunnies may actually be looking to “advance their own mating and relationship goals.” As for how this might work, if a man likes the casual sex and keeps coming back for more, maybe, just maybe, she can draw him into a relationship. (Hookupily ever after?)

However, this approach is a risky strategy because, as Goetz and her colleagues point out, “men found women displaying cues to sexual exploitability to be attractive as short-term mates, but, importantly, not attractive as longterm mates.”

As for what you might make of all this, it’s best to avoid clothes with coverage just this side of G-strings and nipple tassels, as well as overtly sexual poses (like sucking on a finger...subtle!). However, you can take advantage of evolutionary psychology research that finds that men are drawn to women with an hourglass figure (as well as...heh...women who use deceptive undergarments to fake having one). In short, your best bet is posting shots of yourself looking classysexual. This means wearing clothes that reveal your curves to a man — but not your medical history: “I don’t know her name yet, dude, but I can tell you that she had her gallbladder removed.”

A Czar Is Born

I love my girlfriend, but she has some weird rules about her place: no shoes inside, cabinets can’t

Ple a s e r e c y c le me!

(A f t e r y o u've re Ad me entirely.)

mwww.clclt.com

be left open, etc. We’ve gotten in fights when I’ve forgotten to do this stuff and then mentioned how ridiculous I find it. Should I have to do things I think are stupid? — Besieged Your girlfriend reminds you of a well-known television star. Unfortunately, it’s Judge Judy.

You, like many people in relationships, have the expectation that your partner’s requests should make sense. This is where you go wrong. To be human is to be kind of an idiot. We’re all idiots on some level — meaning that we all say and do things that make sense to us but that others would reasonably find utterly idiotic.

That said, our idiocy is not without benefits. Economist Robert H. Frank observes that we evolved to sometimes behave in “seemingly irrational” ways that actually serve our interests. An example would be acting out in ways that test others’ commitment to us (though, typically, we don’t see it that way

and may not even intend to do that).

So, though your girlfriend would probably list reasons for each of her rules — reasons you might find silly — what isn’t silly is her caring about your following them or at least caring enough to try. In short, you don’t have to endorse her ideas to try to act in accordance with them and to treat her kindly when she gets upset that you’ve forgotten. (For example, you could say: “I’m sorry. I know it’s important to you that I do this.”) This would be a signal that you care deeply about her — that you love her enough to do ridiculous things just to make her happy...maybe even to the point of handing her a shopping bag: “Look, honey!

There was a sale at Prada on surgical shoe covers!”

Got a problem? Write Amy Alkon, 171 Pier Ave, #280, Santa Monica, CA 90405, or e-mail AdviceAmy@aol.com (www. advicegoddess.com) © 2018 Amy Alkon.

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