Enhancing the relationship/bond between the child and the absent parent
The fragmentation of my family units
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31 Calendar of structured placement; During my childhood
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Babies (0-18mths)
Pre-school Years (18mths- 4 yrs)
Primary school Years (4-10 yrs)
Pre-teen- teenager (10-18 yrs)
Babies don't understand something not visible still exists.
See parents as the greatest people in the world.
Much better at communicating with language the child is likely to enjoy conversation, asking questions.
As a teenager the child is much more independent and able to act with a will of his/her own.
Faces and eye-contact are important, the baby can focus best 20-25cm away.
Developing language skills, and beginning to express themselves on paper. Can not yet read or write.
At this age the child the child attends school and will seek reassurance from parents.
Contact with an absent parent is only likely to happen if a good relationship/bond already exists.
The child dislikes bedtime through the idea of missing something.
Likely to own mobile phone, and use a computer for social networking. And travel independently.
Naively innocent, with a very positive outlook. Able to fantasise. Something doesn’t not have to be real to be believed.
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Communication/relationship between child and absent parent; depending on child’s age
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Auditory AuditorySpeech, song, tone of voice, pitch
Non-VerbalBody Language, gestures, eye contact, facial expression, posture, touch/physical contact, object communication (-clothing, hairstyle, belongings)
MediaPictures, writing (handwritten and digital)
Media
Non- Verbal non- verbal supported by media
Possible communications between child and absent parent
With parenting young children communicating information or feelings relies heavily on direct, non-verbal communication. The words spoken often carry less weight than the non-verbal parts of your communication- Body language, gestures, eye-contact, facial expression, posture, touch/ physical contact and object communication
Communication in company; non-verbal dominance
Object communication, most gestures and facial expressions can be communicated effectively. But the view is limited, and the persons posture restrained; by the need to be in front of a computer screen/ at a work station. This alters the perceived body language and posture. Eye contact (and physical contact) is impossible.
Skype enables but also limits non-verbal communication
Give: stories, opinions, things learnt Give: praise, love, support
Receive: praise, love, support
Receive: to know that child is happy & healthy and that he/she remains important to the child
The adult wants to give love, the child wants to receive it. I wanted to communicate feeling, without words (without microphones, without cameras). The communication of a feeling does not need to be a direct, constant translation; it could be upsetting to know that the other is lonely, or angry. To communicate the positive feelings (which remain constant)- such as ‘love’- distance technology is not needed. Removing the complications of distance technology, a simple, affordable, more cherishable solution, delivering sentiment is possible. A little magic; children can believe something is communicated when it’s not. Eg. Putting a sea shell to your ear you can hear the sea.
What is wanted from the communication?
A little magic; children can believe something is communicated when it’s not. Buttercup*This is a playful interaction involving two people and a flower.
Buttercup*
Holding a buttercup beneath your chin, the other person can observe whether you like ‘butter’. -You are found to like butter if yellow colour appears on your skin. The result is pre-determined; everyone likes butter when the sun is shining. The reflective qualities of the flowers petals ensure this. But it remains something children do with adults, and very much believe in. It is a tradition of British culture, an ‘old wives tale’.
Believed communication.
Giving or receiving a flower allows someone to feel special. It is also to tell them that you care about them. Buttercup*
The gesture of a flower.
A physical/tangible object, something that can be held, observed, and felt.
Giving something- Precious, delicate, entrusting the child
Delivering sentiment - low-tech communication 1
1. Sen路ti路ment A thought, view, or attitude, especially one based mainly on emotion instead of reason. The expression of delicate and sensitive feeling.
Within the other social unit the child is likely to keep the treasured object in his/her bedroom. A child’s bedroom is often a chaotic place. This sentiment overcomes this chaos at night. When the light goes out, everything vanishes into the darkness, all that remains is the gesture of love from the child’s absent parent. The flower glows in the dark to provide a source comfort in the night, it gradually fades as the child drifts slowly to sleep.
Delivering sentiment - from the absent parent
www.cristieb.com Social Design Masters/ Design Academy Eindhoven