ISSUE 15, 2010

Issue 15 / july 12th / 2010

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Schmack CRITIQUE 50 - 61

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Disclaimer: the views presented within this publication do not necessarily represent the views of the Editor, Planet Media, or OUSA. Press Council: people with a complaint against a newspaper should first complain in writing to the Editor and then, if not satisfied with the response, complain to the Press Council. Complaints should be addressed to the Secretary, PO Box 10-879 The Terrace, Wellington. 05

Scarheez

Critic – Te Arohi

Welcome back. This week we look at the death of the Scarfie dream. Whether you're a rugby fiend who chugs down funnels of bourbon in your gruts or the very word ‘Scarfie’ makes you cringe, you cannot deny the culture has had an impact on your time here at Otago. And that culture is under threat. Regular readers of this magazine will have noticed a recurrent theme in our news pages over the past few years: student misbehaviour has been big news, and so have the University’s efforts to stamp it out. There’s been the Code of Conduct, Campus Watch, a change in marketing strategies, and terse words from the Vice Chancellor. Coupled with the University’s purchase of Gardies and The Bowler, it’s been looking like they’ll do anything it takes to drive Scarfies outta town. I sent Thomas Redford out on a mission to find out the crazy extreme lengths the University has been going to in order to remove the embarrassing stain of Scarfiedom from existence. While he found the University is indeed very eager for the drinking culture to change at Otago, much of the change is actually coming from within the student body (p24). It’s interesting that in the 1960s New Zealand moved away from the 6pm closing of bars. At the time it was noted that the country had the one of the highest rates of people drinking at home in the world – and this was seen as a problem. Now we’re right back there thanks to the stringent liquor licensing conditions that bars face, especially compared to those faced by off-license premises like liquor stores and supermarkets. This is definitely having an impact on the entire industry and Scarfie icons are not immune. This week we reveal on p10 that the future of The Cook is also not so certain, as owners have secretly been shopping the business around. The clearest evidence we’ve ever seen that the University is not on a Scarfie-killing rampage comes with the confirmation that the Uni isn’t interested. There is resistance to this slow death of Scarfie culture. Our resident Scarfie, columnist Richard Cheese, weighs in on p44, and for those who want to give it a go, you can test how Scarfie you are on p30. Vice Chancellor Sir Professor David Skegg has been labelled Public Enemy Number One in the saga and he’s also just announced he’s leaving soon. Since he’s not giving interviews until just before he says his final farewell in a year’s time, Susan Smirk talked to everyone who’s ever met the guy to dig for dirt. However, he comes off looking pretty darn good (p34). Many stalwart Scarfies have been pointing fingers squarely at the University and blaming it for buying Gardies to close it down. The reality is that it was a failing business and the University desperately needs more land. Gardies is dead because there are not enough Scarfies left to fill it. Is it because so many students from out of town want a nightlife experience similar to what they get in the bigger cities up north? Is it because students are rebelling against the Scarfie image? Or is it because it is now a lot cheaper to buy alcohol at the supermarket and drink at home and rock into town when you want to boogie? It’s probably a combination of all of the above – many bar owners Critic spoke to this week believe the latter especially. Gardies could not keep up with the changing face of the student population and so it has gone. Skegg is dealing with the changing face of Tertiary Inc. and is facing pressures from all sides as he deals with funding cuts and a need to literally expand the University as we’re out of space. I think he’s doing his best – which is a lot better than what we’re seeing at universities around the country and overseas. It’s all very interesting and there is a lot more to these stories yet to come. You may have noticed over the holidays that Critic got in a spot of bother over an article we did last semester on Dunedin’s homeless. We’ll be discussing it in next week’s issue. Ben Thomson

PO Box 1436, Dunedin (03) 479 5335 critic@critic.co.nz www.critic.co.nz Editor in Chief:

Ben Thomson Designer in Chief:

Gala Hesson Sub Editor:

Marie Hodgkinson Features Writers:

Susan Smirk Caitlyn O’ Fallon Thomas Redford Creative Director:

Dreke Verkuylen News Editor:

Gregor Whyte News Reporters:

Rory MacDonald Julia Hollingsworth ACTING Music Editor:

Hope Robertson Film Editor:

Max Segal Books Editor:

Jonathan Jong TELEVISION EDITOR

Paul McMillian FOOD EDITOR

Tien-Yi Toh ART EDITOR

April Dell Performance Editor:

Jen Aitken Feature ILLUSTRATOR:

Tom Garden And a substantial army of volunteers xoxo Advertising:

Kate Kidson Tim Couch Dave Eley Logan Valentine Ad. Designer:

Daniel Alexander PH: (03)4795361 kate@planetmedia.co.nz WWW. planetmedia.co.nz

t i o n a l. a iv

A team-building day organised by one of Italy’s top real estate agencies ended with nine staff in hospital after the staff walked barefoot on a bed of hot coals for ‘motivation’. The motivational trainer responsible for the incident chose fire-walking over straw towers as he claims it helps people understand that most of their limits are self-inflicted.

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1/5: Proportion of teenagers suffering ‘Facebook Fatigue’. The inflicted kids intend to cut back or quit. 3: Percentage of mammalian species that are monogamous. 12: Number of letters in the Hawaiian alphabet. 8: Percentage of Russians who believe that Russia will take home the Football World Cup, despite never making it past the qualifying stage.

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IT A W H T HE

A jam made from what is claimed to be one of Princess Diana’s hairs is up for sale at an art exhibition in London. The preserve, called ‘occult jam’, is part of a surrealist art show at London’s Barbican Art Gallery that includes exhibits by Salvador Dali and Rene Magritte. Prince Charles’s cheese is also up for sale, but is unlikely to find a buyer.

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New research shows that swingers have a higher rate of STIs than prostitutes. 10.4 percent of swingers, who have an average age of 43, have either Chlamydia or gonorrhoea, as compared to a measly five percent of prostitutes. Specialists attribute the high rates to the stigmatisation of swingers.

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A disabled girl who entered and won the CLEO ‘Win A Date With A Bachelor’ competition was told her prize has been taken. The winner requested meeting her hunk at Starbucks. CLEO replied by suggesting a gymnasium as a venue and when she told them she was disabled, she was told her prize was given to someone else. Critic recommends against Starbucks for a first date for both the fully and differently-abled. The coffee’s shithouse.

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Most awesome headline in the world of the last month was from a 200m running race won by Walter Dix after Tyson Gay became too exhausted to finish strongly. Reuters headline? ‘Tired Gay succumbs to Dix in 200m’. Awesome.

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Whanganui mayor Michael Laws has been debating installing a high frequency sound emitter that only teenagers can hear to stop them graffiti-ing certain parts of town. Think that’s bad? In 1980 a New York major proposed putting free-roaming wolves in the subway yards to scare of taggers.

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Priapism is a potentially harmful and painful medical condition in which the erect penis does not return to its flaccid state, despite the absence of both physical and psychological stimulation, within four hours. The longest recorded boner is 26 hours. 26. Hours.

A golfer has finished 612 holes in 16 hours. No, it wasn’t Tiger Woods. Former American golf pro Ben Berger played an incredible 612 holes in just 16 hours as part of a charity fundraising bid. He averaged more than two 18-hole rounds of golf every hour, using a golf cart to speed between his shots.

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Scarfie Mothership

Offers Surrender to Death Star The owners of the Captain Cook Tavern want to throw in the beer-soaked tea towel, and have secretly approached the University of Otago asking to be bought out. Critic understands that The Cook owners approached the University asking if it wanted to buy them out, after the University reportedly paid $1.75 million for Gardies. Unlike Gardies, however, The Cook does not sit on freehold land and the lease from DB Breweries is set to expire in the next few years. The University was not interested, but informed OUSA of the offer to see if they were. Critic understands that OUSA is yet to make a final decision. Multiple sources, who asked to remain anonymous because they have not been authorised to speak to the media, have confirmed this. OUSA President Harriet Geoghegan declined to comment for this story, saying she was bound by a confidentiality agreement. The University’s Chief Operating Officer John Patrick was similarly unresponsive. “We are not prepared to comment on whether we have received an approach from the owners or operators of The Cook,” he told Critic in

a statement. “However, we do wish to make it clear that the University is not interested in purchasing The Captain Cook Tavern.” The University’s disinterest in purchasing the iconic student bar challenges the wellpublicised belief that it is intent on shutting down all remaining aspects of the so-called ‘Scarfie’ culture. The University faced such criticism following its purchases of Gardies and The Bowler. The relationship between The Cook and the University has long been strained. The University opposed its liquor license renewal and forced it to put an end to the popular Cookathon. However, according to Geoghegan, the University Council had become increasingly receptive to the idea that The Cook needs to stay, recognising the importance of students drinking in a “controlled environment.” The Cook has been under the same kind of pressures that forced the owners of Gardies to recently sell up. For an article on Scarfie culture, Cook owner Richard McLeod told Critic that only one in four people that enter the bar buy a drink. “We’re totally passionate about North Dunedin, I’ve got a long family tradition

studying

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University,

love that we have The Cook there and it’s up and running,” McLeod said. When Critic approached McLeod with this story he denied that any negotiations to sell had taken place. “It’s news for us,” he said. “The Cook is not for sale.” “I’ve had rumours for the last twelve months that we’re selling it, so you can go for it if you want, but we haven’t approached the University regarding buying it.” Staff Reporters ‘RIP Scarfie: Who is killing the dream?’ A report on the slow death of Scarfie culture on p24.

beg for new skegg The hunt is on for a new Vice Chancellor after Sir Professor David Skegg’s announcement that he is stepping down. Sir Professor Skegg handed in his resignation last month. Although he is only required to stay in the role for three months after giving notice, he has given 14 so that there is ample time to find a successor. His last day at the office will be July 31, 2011. “I wish to ensure that the Council has ample time to conduct the search for the next Vice Chancellor,” Sir Professor Skegg said in a statement. “On the last occasion, this involved extensive consultation with the University community about the kind of person who should be appointed.”

By the time he leaves the role completely, Sir Professor Skegg will have held the office for seven years, although he was offered a contract extension of up to ten years. Skegg refused the extension, saying he does not believe anyone should hold the position for longer than seven years. He will leave after what is expected to be a tough period for the University, with more restructuring and staff lay-offs expected. University Chancellor John Ward says Sir Professor Skegg has been an “outstanding” Vice Chancellor and that the search for a new Vice Chancellor will begin shortly. An Advisory Committee will be established to oversee the search and to

make an appointment recommendation to the University Council in due course, and it is fully expect that Skegg’s replacement will be found before the office is properly vacated. Among those on the committee will be OUSA President Harriet Geoghegan. The committee has been offered assistance by a Facebook page - ‘New Zealand’s Next Top Vice Chancellor’ which will host auditions to find a replacement for the “well cherished” Sir Professor Skegg, who is taking a “well deserved rest.” The exact location of the auditions is yet to be announced. Rory MacDonald Skegg: from JAFA to Dunedin’s biggest dog, p34.

GARDIES GONESIES Legendary student pub The Garden Tavern, affectionately known as ‘Gardies’, has pulled its last jug. The doors to the iconic watering hole closed for the last time on Friday, June 18, a day prior to the widely-expected closing date. The University bought the pub last semester for $1.75m and will be turning it into study space. Gardies’ final night went off without a hitch, as a couple of hundred ex-Scarfies and current students congregated for the last time. “It’s a good send-off, chilled out and that. No need for anything over-the-top,” one punter said. However, the premature termination left many punters unsatisfied who were expecting the last night of Gardies to coincide with the last test match played at Carisbrook on the Saturday night. But the poetic potential of the closure of two Scarfie cultural icons was not maximised, as the Gardies owners put on their responsible hats and closed the doors a day early. Local authorities were concerned with that the coincidence of the last nights of Gardies, Carisbrook, and the end of many exams was a recipe for disaster and placed a liquor ban on the entire North Dunedin area. One Gardies owner, Simon McConnon, was wary of the potential the night had for ‘idiocy’, and was reluctant to fuel it. He was also wary of the potential for destruction and damages, and didn’t want the pub to go out on a sour note. In an effort to minimise any potential disorder, OUSA organised for free buses to ferry punters away after closing time.

“We just didn’t want the last week of Gardies to be anything controversial, we just wanted it to go out the way it should go out, which is a grandfatherly pub saying goodbye to its loyal customers, and Friday did exactly that,” McConnon says. The call on the early closure was made at the start of the week, but wasn’t widely advertised. On the Friday night, while festivities were in full swing, D Scene published a report on its website announcing that the pub would not be opening the following night and the University had “compensated the owners for the lost day’s earnings.” This news was rapidly disseminated and soon reports were surfacing that up to $40 000 had changed hands. However, both the University and McConnon deny any money was ever exchanged. “[The rumours] are bullshit. Not true at all. Would have been awesome if they did, but no they didn’t, not even close,” McConnon says. McConnon hoped the pub would be remembered for the good times, and not just the Undie 500 disorder, which he stresses were a tiny and mostly un-related part of Gardies history. “The times that people have at the Gardies; they were just good, relaxed, downto-earth people having a few pleasing ales and having a good time.” Rory MacDonald, with reporting by Thomas Redford ‘RIP Scarfie: Who is killing the dream?’ A report on the slow death of Scarfie culture on p24.

It’s raining men

(and paint) at ReO Week ReOrientation Week kicks off today. The week-long festival, which is organised by OUSA, begins with with ‘Manday’, a day celebrating manhood and manly deeds. The day starts early with a cooked breakfast served in Main Common Room, while the FIFA World Cup Final is played on the Big Screen. After that the day descends into ‘LANarchy’ with a massive 4x4x4 Halo Marathon from midday onwards. The day also includes a meat raffle, and a late evening sports debate. Jock-tastic! Nightcap and Illuminate Paint Party are jockeying for pole position as the headline event. Nightcap, which is being held across the Union Hall, Refuel and the Main Common Room on Wednesday night, boasts the company of international acts such as Breakbeat DJ Adam Freeland and drum & bass/dubstep duo Nero from the UK, who are coming off the back of one of their most successful years to date, as well as other respected dance acts from home and abroad. The night has the potential to rival Pendulum a couple of years ago – hopefully without the fire alarms.

Its contender comes in the form of the Illuminate Paint Party, which is taking place at Union Hall on Saturday night. The music is all Kiwiana, headlined by Anti-form and P-Money, and hosted by Dunedin local MC Beau. But the real star of the show is the gallons of illuminated ‘glow’ paint that are to drop on partygoers at midnight, sending all and sundry into a Dulux frenzy. However, the biggest day has traditionally been Thursday. This year, a carnival will be running at OUSA Lawn all day, and will be followed by the International Food Festival. The festival usually attracts more numbers than any other event, with thousands and thousands of people filing through the doors for an exotic munch. Because of the event’s popularity, OUSA will be selling food tokens all week from the office, and from three booths on the night, to avoid the scrum that occurred last year. Other events include the Dunedin Music Night at Refuel on Friday, and Clubs Day on Wednesday. Tickets and enquiries for all events can be found at the OUSA Main Office. Rory MacDonald

Exec Reshuffle An online referendum will be held next week to decide the future structure of the OUSA Executive and whether Student General Meetings should be moved online. The OUSA Executive has voted to change the Executive structure, reducing the 17-strong Executive to only ten. This now has to be approved by the student body. The restructuring has been proposed by a working party which was established in July last year to address perceived problems with the current structure. OUSA President Harriet Geoghegan says that the current structure is trying to be both a governing board and a representative group. As a result of this dual role OUSA is not reaching its potential in either area, she says. Geoghegan says that the proposed “bottom- up” structure will greatly benefit students in a number of ways. It will include more people, give better training and support to the Executive, increase OUSA’s efficiency, better reflect the reality of how OUSA operates, and increase communication both within OUSA and within the University. Geoghegan says the response to the change has been “overwhelmingly positive”, with the notable exception of those who have taken issue with specific aspects of the policy. The first draft was released last semester and raised concerns among Executive members and students alike that the General Exec positions could not provide enough representation for minority groups, specifically post graduate students. To rectify this, five specific portfolios have been added: a post graduate, an international, a clubs and recreation, a colleges and communication, and a campaigns portfolio. In addition, the Te Roopu Maori President will be given

voting rights on the Executive to ensure good communication and relationships. Te Roopu Maori is the only student association or group that runs parallel with, rather than under, OUSA. Geoghegan says that although there is no Women’s, Queer, Pacific Islands, or Maori Representatives in the proposed structure, minority issues will still be acted on. “Currently the way to get welfare issues acted in [sic] is through the welfare committee, so that wouldn’t change. The committee would be a formal part of the structure and its recommendations would have to be considered and acted on by the Executive.” Geoghegan says that currently, representatives of these groups spend much of their time discussing operational and governing issues rather than discussing the welfare issues that they were voted in to discuss. Voting in the online referendum will open at midday next Monday and run until Thursday July 22 at 4pm. A debate forum will be held prior to this, at 12pm on the first day of voting. For the referendum to be binding, five percent of the student body, or around 1000 students, need to vote. The referendum will also include a motion to move SGMs online, allowing all external policy, constitutional changes, and legal appointments to be voted on online. The referendum will be conducted in time for the 2011 Executive nominations, so, if the referendum is in favour of the proposal, the new constitutional structure could be in place at the start of next year. Critic will have extensive coverage and analysis, as students begin voting, in next week’s issue. Julia Hollingsworth

Uni Says No

to Money-Burning Freedom Learning Fears that the University of Otago is becoming a degree factory have been given more weight as interest-only enrolments will no longer accepted from 2011. Last year, 26 equivalent full-time students (EFTS) were enrolled as interestonly students, taking only one or two papers for recreational study. This equates to about 100 to 150 students who would be unable to enrol for interest-only study next year. Interest-only students are often retired. They rarely choose to sit exams, have the option of completing assignments or not, and do not pay student association and recreation levies. Irrespective of this, the interest-only EFTS contribute to the roll by which the Government allocates funding. The University has decided that instead, places should go to students who are completing a degree. The move is one of many that have been made recently in a bid to cut down on enrolments at Otago in 2011. The University is currently stretched to capacity and has more students than it is funded for, meaning the University is understaffed and under-resourced. Last semester, the Otago University Council voted to place caps on

enrolments for both second semester 2010 and next year. The caps are to be decided largely on the basis of academic merit, although there is some discretion for Maori lineage and exceptional circumstances. In addition to this change, Summer School places are being reduced by 50 EFTS and entry to five sub-degrees has been suspended. The sub-degree programmes in question are a certificate in fitness management, a certificate in sports studies, a certificate in theological studies, a diploma in sports studies, and a diploma in theological studies. All have low EFTS numbers, ranging from certificate in theatre studies with 0.8 EFTS, to a diploma in sports studies with 24.8 EFTS. OUSA President Harriet Geoghegan says that the move is unfortunate but probably necessary. She hopes that the changes to Summer School will not interfere with the ability of students to complete degrees in a shorter period of time. Earlier this year, the Government cut spending to community education, meaning night classes may not be a viable alternative for those who miss out on taking interest-only papers. Julia Hollingsworth

University leaders

scrambling for the lifeboats. Sort of. Health Sciences Pro Vice Chancellor Don Roberton will retire in February next year when his five-year contract comes to an end. In his role, Roberton is responsible for students enrolled in dentistry, medicine, pharmacy, and physiotherapy. In total, students taught in the health sciences division number more than 5300, including those at the Christchurch and Wellington campuses. The position is being advertised internationally. Roberton is one of seven senior academic managers at the University of Otago along

with the Vice Chancellor, two Deputy Vice Chancellors, and the Pro Vice Chancellors for Humanities, Sciences, and Business. The news of Roberton’s retirement comes barely a month after Vice Chancellor Professor Skegg announced his resignation, which will take affect in July next year. The employment of a new Health Sci top dog will mean the fifth change in senior academic staff in the past 18 months. The other changes included a reshuffle with the Science

Pro Vice Chancellor position in which Professor Keith Hunter replaced Professor Vernon Squire, who in turn was promoted to Academic and International Deputy Vice Chancellor. Despite salacious reporting from the ODT, there is nothing suspicious about the various reshuffles. Roberton is a qualified paediatrician who graduated from Otago University in 1971. He has co-edited four editions of the textbook Practical Paediatrics. Julia Hollingsworth

Med students

among those caught up in loan shake-up Some future doctors and those seeking a higher education will be forced to fund their own studies after changes made to the Student Loan Scheme earlier this year. Tertiary Education Minister Steven Joyce admitted to Salient that the changes made to the Loan Scheme in Budget 2010 will mean that some students will not have access to student loans to cover their final years of study. The loan scheme restructure means students who complete a double degree will likely need to fund any Masters study out of their own pocket, but may then be able to access funding for Doctorate study. The loan changes also mean students who complete a degree prior to entering medical school will have to fund their last years without a student loan. A lifetime limit on access to the Student Loan Scheme was introduced in Budget

2010. The limit for undergraduate study is 7 EFTS (Equivalent Full Time Student), a further 1 EFTS for postgraduate study and 3 EFTS for doctoral study. A full-time student studies between 0.8 and 1.4 EFTS a year. Joyce says policy changes “could be” considered. “There are currently no additional exemptions to the lifetime limit for specific programmes of study or multiple degrees. “However, if some programmes of study (such as medicine) turn out to be disproportionately affected by this policy, consideration could be given as to whether additional EFTS should be allocated to those programmes.” Joyce says the changes to the scheme are “intended to encourage students to make wise choices about their study” and “take the most direct route through their studies

in order to ensure they have sufficient entitlement to a student loan”. Medical students wanting to complete Masters study will have access to the additional allowances to fund further study. Other Masters students will not be as fortunate. A student completing a double degree (for example Law and Arts) needs approximately 6 EFTS to complete their studies. If the student wants to do Honours and Masters, the current policy means that a student may not have any access to funding for their Masters. When questioned how the 7 EFTS entitlement was decided on, Joyce’s answer was that the value is “similar to the Australian Student Learning Entitlement (ASLE) which allows an equivalent of 7 years of full-time study with Commonwealth support”. Angela Mabey, Salient

Julia Hollingsworth

Polytech Fortunes Continue to Yo-Yo Monday Second Semester Formal Lectures Begin ‘Man-day’ – 6.30am Main Common Room

Tuesday Flatting Information Evening, 7.00pm Castle 1 Lecture Theatre “Re-Thinking Polynesian Origins” – Lecture, Department of Biochemistry, 12:00pm

Wednesday Clubs and Socs Day, 10am – 4pm. Union Hall Nightcap, featuring Adam Freeland (UK) and Nero (UK), 8pm Union Hall, MCR and Refuel

Thursday OUSA Carnival Day, OUSA Lawn. FREE 10am Onwards International Food Festival, 7pm Onwards, Union Hall

Friday Dunedin Music Night, featuring DuCats Kit, Honeybone, The Exclaimations and Cult Disney, 7pm, Refuel “When Sea Urchins Get Sunburnt: Impacts of the Ozone Hole” Lecture, 12:00pm, Union Street Lecture Theatre

While the University of Otago is forced to make numerous budget cuts, the Otago Polytechnic is embracing its best annual financial performance for around 15 years. Chief Operating Officer Philip Cullen says that the 2010 budget has been revised, meaning that there is now an expected budget surplus of $2.094m, which is $250 000 better than previously anticipated. Cullen says that the surplus increase is due to increased enrolments, more funding from the Government, and profits from oneoff and new activities. Equivalent full-time students (EFTS) are expected to surpass the initial budget by 124. This is partly due to an increase in enrolments from international students and in health-related courses. International enrolments have risen by almost 20 EFTS on the initial budget. Because of the budget surplus, Cullen says that the Polytechnic will reduce its borrowings from $3.5 million to only $1.3 million. Capital expenditure is to stay at $5 million.

Although the surplus is positive, it will be countered by the increased costs associated with providing for additional EFTS. Further costs are expected from the introduction of the Emissions Trading Scheme and rent rises for leased property. Despite a strong showing this year, Cullen does not expecting such a strong financial position for the Polytechnic next year. The Polytechnic will need to find a further $2.9 million to offset the Government’s cut in tertiary funding. As a result, the Polytechnic Council is considering an increase in student fees and levies to the value of an extra $1 million. The Polytechnic’s finances have been all over the place in the past years, with a surplus last year and a large deficit in 2008. With a $337 000 deficit for group activities, and a $519 000 deficit for academic activities, 2008 was the Polytechnic’s worst financial result in five years. Julia Hollingsworth

Bling bling, money ain’t a thing The University is throwing money at the Stadium like a rap artist throws dollars at a stripper. Despite the widespread cutbacks across the board, the University has found room in their budget for a $20 million boost to the University’s stadium building, University Plaza One. In the most recent revision of the budget, University Chief Operating Officer John Patrick pledged $19.772 Should there be a thousand/million here? to the Oamaru stone-clad building. The building will link the University Plaza and the Forsyth Barr Stadium, and will contain the University’s foundation studies department, the Unipol sports centre, a physiotherapy clinic, and a cafe.

Elderly rural couple takes Undie 500 in under their wing A kindly Marlborough couple have found themselves offside with their neighbours after agreeing to let the Undie 500 use their backyard as a destination. While not quite Castle Street, the paddock will host the Canterbury engineering students after they turn up in their <$500-dollar decorated vehicles. “Anyone over 50 that went to university and says they were virtuous is either a liar or a very sad person ... a lot of people do seem to suffer amnesia about their youth,” Trish Redwood told the Southland Times. “There’s so many things they [youth] can’t do. There’s a real rural-urban divide now. Rural people think ‘why wouldn’t you party in a paddock?’.” She also wants everyone to pay $5 each for camping at the property, and there will be a $10 000 bond – “I’m not an idiot,” Redwood says. “I don’t think it should be such a big deal ... it’s really going to be a little Rhythm and Vines with far less people and more booze.”

President Egghead Software giant Microsoft has labeled OUSA President Harriet Geoghegan an ‘Egghead’. The company’s flagship word processing programme, Microsoft Word suggests ‘Egghead’ as the correct spelling for ‘Geoghegan’, a Critic investigation has revealed. The President’s last name, correctly pronounced gey-gen (kind of like gaggin’) has long been a source of amusement. Victoria University student magazine Salient refers to her last name as Gigglygoo. Speculation is now rife as to the origin of the President’s last name, and whether it is even real. One speculator suggests it was poached from another source, or that maybe ‘Geoghegan’ is a scrambled ‘Egghead’. Geoghegan was too chicken to answer questions regarding the issue, but with the water beginning to boil Critic expects that sooner or later she will crack. Rory MacDonald

In recent years, Stephan Tindall has taken a back seat in the everyday operations of the company through which he made his fortune. These days, you’ll find him working hard for The Tindall Foundation, which he founded with his wife Margaret back in 1995, or writing up business plans for transnational fibre optic networks. Critic got to talking to him at the end of last semester about the economy, job creation, and life beyond the big red shed. Why did you start The Warehouse all those years ago? I happened to go on a trip for United Stores, which was a buying group that George Courts was part of, and not long before I left George Courts. I saw a gap in the market around what today you would typically call outlet stores which were just emerging in the United States. I saw a couple of examples of those and that was really the initial concept of The Warehouse. How is The Warehouse faring in the current economic environment? I think it is fair to say that the current economic environment is very tough, but we are holding our own. We have had a slight decrease in market share, but we are maintaining our profits as opposed to some of our competition who have been pocketed out. You have done a lot of work regarding job creation in the New Zealand economy. What is your view on our country’s economic outlook over the next 10, 20, 50 years? It is up to us. No one is going to do us any favours. The first thing we have to do is export more so that we can afford our current standard of living. So we have to get more New Zealanders more heavily focused, first of all, on becoming good business people. Once they have got their business underway, they should be looking offshore to sell their products and services. I think the second thing we have to do is make sure that we have a culture in New Zealand that really believes in itself, that leverages off the integrity that the citizens of the country have. We should build much, much bigger and closer economic relations with other countries. The China FTA was a great start. Just having an agreement is only about one percent of the equation: the next thing is to build strong relationships and businesses between the two countries, particularly on exports.

make over half of the world’s steel. It is a clean tech[nology] so not only is it really good for cleaning up the atmosphere, which China are very keen to do, but it also makes massive economic sense. Alongside Sam Morgan and Rod Drury, you are putting together plans for a new fibre cable linking NZ, Australia and the US. What inspired the move into telecommunications? In laymen’s terms, we believe that the speed of the internet is going to get slower at peak times. Also, that the incumbent provider has a complete monopoly on the offshore cable network and therefore is really leveraging the price. We believe that by creating competition, it would create a much better price. The Tindall Foundation does a lot of work in the community. What inspired you to start this charity? I think it was all about giving back. There is actually a huge amount more enjoyment out of giving than there is out of taking. Our whole philosophy is not so much hand-outs, it is all about creating opportunities for people to learn and to create their own future, get their education, and shape their attitude to be self-sustaining. Georgie Fenwicke

Can you give me an example of such an export-led company that you have invested in recently? The best example at the moment is LanzaTech which converts carbon monoxide from the smoke stacks of steel mills into ethanol. The pilot plant is at Glenbrook steel mill in South Auckland and we are in the process of establishing very large negotations with China as they

ENJOY

Branding Scarfie: How it Became a Dirty Word The Beginning The term ‘Scarfie’ originated with the practice of students wearing blue and gold (the Otago colours, durh) scarves during the cooler months of the year.

In this sub-culture, however, there are still the tragics. Here at Otago, some dedicate their time to fulfilling the clichés, wearing trackpants and jandals through winter and drinking so much fucking piss.

The Middle Over the years, Otago students endeared themselves to the term, which led to it becoming what we call a social identifier. However, back then, ‘Scarfie’ wasn’t a negative term: the connotations were generally of cultural relevance, indicative of the lifestyle, the fashions (think op-shop grunge), and the political conscience of students.

This shift in meaning of the term ‘Scarfie’ over the years has led to some interesting juxtapositions. At the same time as the University of Otago uses the Scarfie image to entice people to come to the University of Otago, it condemns and is threatened by the behaviour of media-styled Scarfies as they hit this city’s streets. Basically, it’s gotten all confused, and since it’s hard to identify with an abstract social identifier (‘Scarfie’), no one knows what the fuck is going on. Cast your mind to 2006. Undie 500. The riot. The chant. “Scarfies on the piss.” The people who started chanting might have done so in a highly self-aware fashion, but lots of the people that joined (or watched in horror) would not have realised it was tongue-in-cheek (or was not, who knows?). Either way, it’s a clear demonstration that one can no longer partake in ultimate ‘Scarfie’ activities like smashing bottles and lighting couches on fire without acknowledging what a cliché those activities are. The ‘Scarfie’ concept has become so massive that it is now incredibly lame to spend your life fulfilling the cliché that is spouted by your 50-year-old parents and simultaneously seized upon by various marketing executives. Not only is the term empty of any real meaning or relevance, it’s just, well, uncool. Some people still enjoy lighting couches on fire and throwing bottles, but for most, to do so sincerely would be embarrassing.

The End The deterioration of the term ‘Scarfie’ from an identifier to a derogatory/ironic piss-take is both interesting and contentious. One thing is certain, however: the changing attitudes and behaviour of students has driven it. The media took to the idea of a Scarfie like a moth to a flame, and soon the stereotype was instantly recognisable, with a namesake feature film, all of Marc Ellis’ tragic reminisces (particularly embarrassing as a role model now that you only see him cooking sausages on roofs in HRV ads), Scarfie Days, Studentville, and airlines and businesses offering Scarfie specials. The University itself was a big driving force, and jumped on the bandwagon by using Scarfie clichés in their Get Over It marketing campaigns to lure students here, and their (lame) attempt to connect with students – Scarfie.com. This was a move made to convert the problematic image of the Scarfie (as hooligan) into the palatable image of a suburban mum’s son or daughter notfucking-away-from-home. Of course, people our age rebel against what is expected of us – “I’m just trying to take my place in the world, braah” – so we start doing the opposite. We dressed all fancy instead of wearing trackpants and hoodies. We went to the Octagon instead of Scarfie ‘icons’ like Gardies and The Bowler. We studied more, and began obsessing over Grad jobs. We stopped giving a fuck about student and national politics .... And the big causes of the day went unprotested.

What is clear now is that the people who still genuinely self-identify as a Scarfie are a veritable who’s who of human sop.

By Thomas Redford

The University are just killing it, for them to buy out Gardies and just shut it down, the Gardies was a great place to learn how to go and have a social drink at 18. Just watching them kill that, and kill off The Bowler, just watching them try to clamp down on what is the essence of student life, they’ve got to be very, very careful. Because you can get a degree at any New Zealand university, there are very few specialist courses down there, and if they kill off that student culture and suddenly make it not as desirable to go down there, they’ll be kneecapping themselves – Broadcaster and former Otago student Clarke Gayford

who is killing the dream ?

Half the reason people come down here is for the whole student lifestyle. I’m worried the University doesn’t quite understand that; that they’re keen to push down that whole side of University life. Everything that they do … the Code of Conduct, Gardies, every other thing the Uni does is putting another little nail in the coffin of student life … They’re on dangerous ground at the moment, they have to decide how much more control they want to take over the student area, without actually killing it. – 3 News reporter and Dunedinite Dave Goosselink

he Scarfie Dream, it seems, is dying. Perhaps it’s already dead. And who is the number-one suspect in this murder case? For many casual observers of Dunedin student life, it is the University of Otago. This school of thought suggests that, scarred by international media reports of drunken rioting and main street midday mayhem, the University has systematically been trying to extinguish the supposedly troublesome aspects of Dunedin student life. The University has bought and shut down student bars, introduced a Code of Conduct that allows it to punish students for misbehaving in their private life, banned on-campus alcohol advertising and sponsorship, created in Campus Watch a team of elite humans that patrols North Dunedin streets 24/7, shut down the Cookathon, repeatedly opposed the Cook’s liquor license, and purchased a number of Castle Street flats which are to be sub-leased exclusively to international students. When gathered and viewed as stages in the same battle, these actions make fairly compelling evidence for the case that the University has been executing a sinister plan. But the University may be far less Machiavellian than we would like to imagine. The reality is that Gardies and The Bowler had become unprofitable and offered themselves for sale. Could the University’s higher powers simply be snapping up the remnants of a lifestyle that long ago fell victim to other factors? Or are they truly trying to take down the very culture that their Get Over It advertising campaign once so proudly boasted of to the country?

Grabbing Gardies he most recent and notable chapter in this saga is the University’s purchase of Gardies. Did the University overpay in its desperation to preclude the possibility of Gardies continuing to operate as a pub? Simon McConnon was a Dunedin student in the mid-1990s, and bought Gardies with friend Pete Innes-Jones in 2005, because he had “just had so many bloody good times there that I just wanted to make sure that students of the next generation would continue to have the chance to drink there.” 25

Upon taking the bar over, McConnon immediately observed changes in the student drinking culture that were unhealthy both for students and the bar’s tills. “The scene had definitely changed and it was a lot quieter. In the ‘90s people would be sober when they got there; they’d have a few drinks, they didn’t tend to get as pissed as they do these days. These days they’d drink a dozen or so beers at home, and say ‘Right, I’m drunk, let’s go out.’ We got to the stage a year ago where 8pm on a Friday night there’d be half a dozen people in the bar, come 9pm there’s 500.” This pattern of heading out at later and later times was particularly damaging for Gardies, as its placement in a residential area meant that its liquor license only extended to 11pm on most nights. The owners spent “the best part of $12k in the last two years on getting our license extended” but met “so much resistance … that it didn’t happen, and we were told that it wouldn’t happen in the foreseeable future.” This failed attempt was the knockout blow for the pub’s profitability. One party that resisted the extension of Gardies licensing hours was the University of Otago. Ostensibly, this was to protect the precious slumber hours of their post-graduates staying at Abbey College, a residence about twenty metres down the road. This sensitivity to late-night rackets in the area is a bit rich. The University purchased the Abbey College site in 2007, a time when Gardies was in full-swing and Castle Street was at the peak of its international notoriety as the rowdiest road in New Zealand. With no positive changes on the horizon, McConnon and his business partners began to consider selling Gardies in mid-2009 and advertised a tender sale in early-2010. A number of valuations were done on the site. The well-circulated figure of $1.025m was close to the government valuation. A best-use valuation considered the site as clear and level, and “because it’s such a large area, which is unique in North Dunedin” this valuation was “a bit higher.” The University successfully tendered $1.75m for the site. This bid closed the tender two weeks before its original April 14 deadline. McConnon says there were a couple of other “expressions of interest, not formal offers.” Blake Luff, a second-year PE student who was discussing an outrageous plan with Marc Ellis and his business partners to buy the pub, says they “were going to offer about $1.2m, and knew of two other developers offering about $1m.” McConnon insists that they “never received any formal offer, any formal interest from them at all.” One must now ask: at $1.75m, did the University overpay? McConnon; “We had three valuations done on the place, and certainly what the University paid for the land area and everything else, they absolutely did not overpay. Not at all. I wish they did.” Perhaps relative to certain valuations, the University did not overpay, but the fact is that they outbid any other interested party by at least $500 000. This imprudent premium could be seen as revealing noneconomic motives for the purchase. Dave Goosselink covered various stages of the saga for 3 News. He concedes that the University has a lack of space, but “found it quite interesting that that they came up with that much of a premium, while at the same time claiming that they’ve got no money to keep open their own departments.” 26

“They would have been worried that if they’d just given them market value, someone else would have come in and pipped them to it. I reckon that $1.75m was quite a premium and I suspect it was to ensure that it was off the market quickly.” It is clear that the University was desperate to take control of the Gardies site. The need for space may have made the purchase almost compulsory, but the speed and size of the University’s bid shows that its was motivated in part by the desire to ensure that the site will never again host an operational pub. Reports on the motives of those on the University Council are mixed. OUSA President Harriet Geoghegan believes that most members are innocent of any hidden intentions. “In the case of Gardies, the University has been after it for years, but that has been because it needs the land. It is part of their strategic plan and the Campus Master Plan to purchase the land surrounding University because it is rapidly expanding.” But there is some evidence of skulduggery on the University Council. A source revealed to Critic that a University Council member had a surprising response when asked if the closure of The Bowler was a shame: “Oh no, no, we’ve been pushing them hard for years, and we’ll just keep applying the pressure to The Cook and the Gardies,” they said. “If the Gardies ever comes up on the market we’ll snap it up in a heartbeat.” A year later, intent became reality. Such sentiments are not reflective of the entire University Council, but they do shed an unflattering light on the University’s opposition to the extension of Gardies’ licensing hours. Successful resistance to the bid for a later closing time ensured that the bar would not be able to operate for much longer. Gardies then came up on the market, and the University snapped it up in a heartbeat.

Accosting The Cook he Captain Cook Tavern is arguably the last student pub still standing in Dunedin. At least, it is based on the excellent definition offered by Harriet Geoghegan: “a place where you can do telephones, drink crates, and play loud drinking games.” Yet as Critic reveals today in the News section, facing similar pressure to Gardies, the Cook’s owners are looking for the exits. The bar’s recent history reveals that the University has opposed its existence, most notably launching an attack on the Cookathon that led to such events being made illegal. Part-owner Richard McLeod does not accuse the University of any serious foul play. After he completed an International Business degree in 2001, McLeod and three other young lads bought The Cook in 2004. “I guess it’s easy to have a crack at the University. I think any concerns they’ve had have been legitimate to be honest. There’s been times where we’ve thought we could have been dealt with differently, but I think they’ve always just been trying to protect Otago University. Whether they’ve got ulterior motives? ... I’m not really into trying to pick what the University’s motives are.” Questioned on the University’s opposition to their liquor license, McLeod was again unwilling to point the finger: “I don’t think there’s been any undue pressure from them. In terms of the kind of pressure they can apply it’s kind of limited I guess. They objected against Cookathon, some of their points were valid.” Geoghegan also describes a sympathetic approach to The Cook by the Uni’s higher powers; “I have discussed The Cook with Chief Operating Officer John Patrick and the Vice Chancellor actually, and they are certainly of the opinion that it would be a real loss if it was gone – they understand the need for a good student pub.” It is not the University that has forced The Cook onto a list of threatened species. The University’s opposition to the Cookathon, an event which saw absolutely destroyed students in elaborate costumes staggering loudly through campus all day, four days a year, is understandable, but again simply symptomatic of the University’s severe distaste for public associations of drunkenness with its campus.

What are they protecting? t is nigh impossible to show with any certainty that the demises of Gardies and The Bowler are part of an evil University master plan. The University needed these rare plots of North Dunedin land. The fact that the process of acquiring them involved shutting down student bars may have just been a pleasant bonus. But the recurring theme of this investigation is that the University has an obsession with nullifying the image of drunken disorder it fears has infected its international brand. This obsession has manifested itself in various forms. Take, for example, the posters that confront students in various places throughout the University’s departments. Pictures of toga’d first-years causing mayhem on George Street in 2009, with the by-line: “It’s your degree that’s being trashed … It has taken 140 years to build Otago’s reputation. Don’t destroy it.” This hostile message greets students on campus every day. The poster shows no indication of concern for the safety, welfare, or condition of students, public, or the community – only concern for the University’s reputation. Last year, when the University was going through the motions of expelling a student for throwing eggs at the Toga Parade, it went to extreme efforts to demonstrate the extent of the damage that had been caused in the media. In a document for the High Court, leaked to Critic last year, 58 pages are dedicated to clippings of media coverage. Included are transcripts from talk radio and television news, editorial cartoons, and cut-outs of the story from the national papers. Also attached are ratings statistics and circulation figures, demonstrating how many people were exposed to the news. None of the stories mentions the student who was eventually expelled. The document is a telling demonstration of just how deeply the University cares about its public image. The Toga Parade was a PR disaster, and the University found a scapegoat to pay for it. The earliest and still most extreme step that the University has taken in battling student misbehaviour was the 2007 introduction of the Code of Conduct (CoC). The document, which all students must sign during enrolment, gave the University power to punish students for bad behaviour in their private lives. The CoC mostly represented the University making a conscious decision to take responsibility for the welfare of its students and the surrounding community. But 27

protecting the University’s reputation was undeniably a key motive for the CoC. In a 2008 interview with The Press, Director of Student Services David Richardson outlined how the Undie 500 riots affected the University’s reputation: “It becomes a media issue, and we as a University are totally dependent upon young people choosing to come here from somewhere else where they’ve got a university and, more importantly, we’re dependent upon academic staff choosing to come here from anywhere in the world.” The common argument that many observers will come up with at this point is that media reports of the University closing down places like Gardies are the type of news items most likely to do damage to the University’s reputation in the eyes of undergrads or even parents. For so many years it has been the promise of a unique, carefree lifestyle that has made Dunedin such a popular choice of study town. The vast majority of students were not sold on the excitement of a magnificent library or the ‘number-one research university in New Zealand’ statistic. They were sold on stories or brief experiences of the lifestyle. Of course, this may no longer be the type of student that the University is chasing. A quick look at different advertising campaigns over the last decade would suggest that the University no longer wants to attract the prospective student whose eyes light up at the sight of stolen road signs spewing out of a flat closet (an infamous image in the Get Over It campaign), but would now prefer the shy young lad, awkward Goth girl, or country town lecturer, that simply wants to ‘take their place in the world.’

Protect and Preserve? any of the Otago alumni Critic spoke to believed that the University needed to be “careful” in their meddlings with student culture. Some thought that the iconic and unique environment offered by places like Gardies is in fact so crucial to the experience offered by studying at the University of Otago, that never mind actively trying to take these places down – steps should be taken to ensure their existence as a draw card for future generations of students. For Clarke Gayford, the lessons learnt from the Scarfie lifestyle were the best parts of his education. “You’re pretty much getting two degrees while you’re down there, and one of them’s just a life degree where you’re getting all these skills, and you’re learning to socialise, it’s just such a great town for that to happen … My point was just that Otago Uni needs to be very careful, because part of the joy of Otago is the student culture, the student life, and if they go around telling students that they’re bad people and closing everything like Gardies all the time, they’re really going to bite the hand that feeds them.” Richard McLeod volunteered a similar stance on the matter: “I am of the view that you need a safe campus, but there’s a certain fine line between that and just commodifying yourself so you’re just like every other university in the world. Otago’s got something quite special about it in terms of the sociability factor and it’s pretty upsetting to see that lost. I guess it’s easy to beat up on the Uni, it’s a reasonably narrow tightrope they’re walking, but you just hope that they balance out both sides.”

Killing me softly he inescapable fact is that these pubs were offered for sale because at some point recently, students stopped spending so much money there. The reasons for this have little to do with the University. According to McLeod, the main reason “is pretty simple. Just the gap between the cost of drinking at an on-license premise and at a supermarket or bottle store has widened dramatically. Our stats show that more people are getting turned away at the door, and are just using the facilities to dance; for every four people that come in only one goes to the bar.” Dr. Lesley Procter, a University of Otago Sociology lecturer, elaborated with additional reasons: “Higher fees and reduced opportunities for part-time work (meaning reduced income) would have to be seen as limits on the exuberance of the culture … From class discussions it is clear to me that the stereotypical ‘Scarfie’ is really a minority, and possibly a dying breed … a response to the very real economic pressures upon students.” Ultimately it is this disparity between the price of alcohol at supermarkets/bottle stores and bars, combined with a relative reduction in students’ disposable income, that has made student bars an almost impossible venture. McConnon confesses that Gardies was “never a money-making venture” for the owners. They ran it mostly out of “altruism” for the last five years, “just wanting to provide an environment where people could be a bit loose than other pubs would allow them.” The Cook currently faces an identical predicament. McLeod says they are “totally passionate about North Dunedin … but there’s no doubt that students need to make sure they support an icon if they want it to be there in ten years’ time.” To lose all three of these pubs – Gardies, The Bowler and The Cook – would be very sad indeed. These are the Dunedin landmarks of which the average Scarfie, even if that term makes him or her cringe, is most proud. They are the places you might take your visiting friends and relatives to show off the unique social conditions that you’ve been mastering every weekend. They are the bars in which you automatically have a common bond with every other patron; you share similar timetables, similar challenges, and similar living conditions, and most of all, you share the fact that you’re in Dunedin because you were seduced by a lifestyle in which such a gathering is a daily joy. 28

OBE BMedSc MBChB (Otago) DPhil (Oxon) MFPHM FAFPHM FRSNZ

SKEGG.

niversity of Otago Vice Chancellor Sir Professor David Skegg announced last month that he was standing down. Goneskies. Kaput. Done. So ovah it. Well, sort of – he is going to stick around for the next year. Skegg has a ten-year contract with the University but will be leaving after seven – something he says he has always intended. In his immediate wake will be a string of departmental restructures and lay-offs, so jumping ship will come at a convenient time. But will that be his lasting legacy? The man himself isn’t giving interviews until just before he leaves, but Susan Smirk talked to friends, colleagues, and foes to get a sense of who really is the biggest dog in town.

LITTLE SKEGGY-KINS: A J.A.F.A. David Skegg has been based in Otago since 1966, but actually began his illustrious academic journey in his hometown of Auckland. Skegg attended the exclusive King’s Preparatory School in Remuera, and after winning a scholarship to King’s College, he spent his high school years polishing his public speaking and debating skills. He went on to ace his University Scholarship exams, coming first in the country for Biology, and fourth for Chemistry. SMARTY PANTS Skegg first arrived in Dunedin as a secondyear medical student, living in Knox College. As an undergrad he went on exchange to Harvard and later a Rhodes scholarship saw him leave for Oxford where he took a turn lecturing in Epidemiology. He eventually returned to Dunedin in 1980 – a city which has reportedly “cast a spell on him.” Back at Otago he was a Professor of Preventative and Social Medicine. Back then, the department had less than a dozen staff; today, it is the largest department in the University with 130 people, mostly involved in research. Skegg’s own primary research interest is cancer epidemiology. However, variety is the spice of life, and he keeps his research buffet tasty with work on HIV/AIDS, reproductive health, and contraceptive drug safety. In 2002, a study of Skegg’s showed New Zealand’s cancer death rate to be significantly, and worryingly, higher than Australia’s. The same year he was also involved with a study that debunked the link between vasectomys and prostate cancer. He is also an expert on contraceptive and drug safety, and reproductive health. Skegg has published more than 140 academic papers, and was made an OBE in 1990 for his services to medicine. He became Sir Skegg in 2009. In addition, he acts as a consultant to the World Health Organisation, and occasionally the New Zealand Government.

THE VC IS IN DA HOUSE Skegg became Vice Chancellor in August 2004, replacing Dr. Graham Fogelburg. He was an unusual choice for a Vice Chancellor, being both an insider to the University, and more of an academic than an administrator. Nevertheless his appointment was heralded by many as an “inspired” choice. Former Chancellor Lindsay Brown affirmed recently that the choice to appoint “someone from our own backyard” had been a good one. Despite numerous awards, much controversy, and the general prominence of his position, Skegg has done his best to keep out of the public spotlight. Yet he is undeniably the most powerful public servant in Dunedin. As Mayor Peter Chin spells it out for us, “The University is Dunedin’s biggest business by far and the Vice Chancellor is the Chief Executive of the University.” Biggest dog. Last year, the State Services Commission put Skegg’s salary in the $530 000-$539 000 bracket. This dwarfs the Prime Minister’s $393 000 annual pay packet. For this fine rate, Skegg oversees the University’s business operations, which have annual income approaching $580 million (although he does have a Chief Operating Officer, a position he created to fulfill some of his CEO-type responsibilities). He also, of course, takes responsibility for 22 000 ambitious young vagabonds while they pursue their degrees, and 4 000 full and part-time staff. OUSA President Harriet Geoghegan says that Skegg is certainly a busy man, and notes that “everyone” says he works weekends as well. She even admits that staff in the Clocktower have even confided to her that they worry about how hard he works. YOU CAN’T SPELL ‘SKEGG’ WITHOUT ‘KEG’ One thing that many undergraduate students note Skegg for has been his willingness to clamp down on the drinking culture at Otago. Indeed, in his tenure he has witnessed all of the Undie 500 ‘riots’ as well as last year’s Toga Parade. In response, he’s insisted that this kind of behaviour harms not only the University, but also the value of the degrees it awards. Controversially, his reign has seen the implementation of the Code of Conduct (CoC) which allows the University to punish students for misbehaving off-campus and out of school time; Campus Watch has been set up; alcohol advertising on campus has been banned; and naughty students have been kicked out. (Many suspect that the recent purchases of Gardies and the Bowler and leasing of Castle Street flats might

Jamie Linfoot 03

What they said about Skegg: l “A scholar and a gentleman” – ODT article when he was first appointed. l

“Quiet achiever” – Peter Chin.

“A reasonable, well-meaning man” – OUSA President Harriet Geoghegan. l “Hard-working, incredibly intelligent” – Former OUSA l

President Simon Wilson l

“Did not shrink from making hard decisions”

– Former Chancellor Lindsay Brown. l “Cordial” – TEU co-president Dr. Brent Lovelock. l

“An outstanding New Zealander” – Former

“Energetic leader” – ODT

Chancellor Eion Edgar. editorial on his retirement.

What you said about Skegg (on our Facebook page): l

“He’s probably done just fine for the University. For the students, on the other hand...” – A Former Critic Editor

“We could Hire a Rug Dr. It’d be just as effective except cleaner... and a shitload cheaper” l “On the one hand he is the head of one of the biggest Universities in the country, on the other hand $500,000! What the fuck?” l “I really, really don’t like that guy.” l “He is worth 10 normal people. Apparently.” l “So... he fucks the University over, and then fucks off? Good job, Skegg, good job!” l

have something to do with this push too, although this is fervently denied by the University.) The “big one” that students will remember Skegg for will be the CoC, Geoghegen says, due to its controversial nature. Its implementation was met with howls of protest and relations between OUSA and the University are only now beginning to simmer. Skegg’s involvement in trying to change Otago’s culture has endeared him to the city’s Mayor. “I think that he has been very supportive of the city, as the city has been to the University,” Chin says. On a personal note, their relationship is something Chin has “enjoyed very much.” Which is cute. CASH BABY. ALL THAT CASH Aside from fighting off bad press – and man love from the Mayor – Skegg has spent much of his time, especially of late, restructuring the University towards a more research-based institution. After all, that is where the money is. The key trend has been to privilege core academic subjects over more practical courses. This, of course, has manifested itself most recently in the closure of the Design Studies department. Geoghegan diplomatically offers that “for those who would see Otago as being really competitive, and being the best University, then I think Skegg’s done really well – the focus on research being one of Otago’s points of difference. But for those who see University as somewhere where everyone can come along and do something that interests them, I guess they would probably disagree.” Geoghegan explains that her recent inauguration into the world of University politics has given her a new perspective. “Once you sit down and start looking at the big picture, where all the funding goes into, where the priorities are, and the amount of money it takes to keep departments sustainable, it becomes a lot harder to say ‘we need to keep doing everything’ and still keep the University functioning as a whole, and not get into serious financial trouble.” The decision to close the Design School moved rapidly through the Clocktower, despite a 200-person silent protest and criticism from students for the ‘undemocratic’ process. Geoghegan, too, criticised the process through which the decision was made for being rushed and not being open. She voted against the closure of the department; however; she more recently told Critic “there were really early signals, years ago, that it needed to change, and that it wasn’t a sustainable funding model. I understand from that perspective why the Design School was cut.” Despite her criticism of the Council process in this matter, she also said that overall Skegg has been very willing to listen to her suggestions, and that “He does genuinely care and wants to do the right thing.”

But of course, many students don’t see this side of the picture. Critic Editor Ben Thomson says that one thing the magazine has found frustrating throughout the years has been the tightly-controlled media access to Skegg and the University’s upper management. “I’m sure the Vice Chancellor is between a rock and a hard place on a lot of these controversial issues, but often I don’t think that has been communicated effectively to students,” he says. “That is probably why many in the student body feel, perhaps unfairly, that he has not been looking out for their best interests.” A major shift towards this research-based model is because of the way the University is funded through Performance Based Research Funding (PBRF). The University’s emphasis on research got Otago to top of PBRF rankings for New Zealand. The Postgraduate doctoral student roll has risen from 829 in 2005 to 1264 in 2009. Otago has also increased its share of annual research grants from organisations such as the Health Research Council and the Marsden Fund. With the government reducing funding, much of the University’s income is linked to investment plans and postgrad research, making research Otago’s saving grace during these tough times. But then, tell that to Design Studies or the Social Work department which faced cuts due, as Skegg put it, to its “limited research ethos.” THE TO-DO LIST The next year is certainly likely to prove both controversial and challenging for Skegg, and for the University as a whole. Brent Lovelock of the Tertiary Education Union, which represents University staff, has told the ODT that the coming year would be the “crucial test” for Skegg, in terms of maintaining staff support through many proposed changes. Restructure the College of Education Skegg has seen the Teachers’ College through some big changes. He oversaw its amalgamation with the University of Otago in 2007, taking what College of Education Dean Helen May called “a very hands-on” role. May tells Critic that Skegg had done his best to make a difficult transition go as smoothly as possible. But there is more to come. The upcoming restructuring of the College is based on a review, which has aimed to cut costs by $1.3 million, and is likely to threaten the jobs of 15 or more of the College’s 60 staff members – staff were reportedly “shell-shocked” by this news. However, Skegg has argued they are still committed to the College, as evidenced by their $10 million investment into the Bill Robertson Library.

Restructure the Department of Social Work and Community Development This will meld with other Humanities departments to form a new Sociology, Gender and Social Work department – a move which seems nonsensical to some staff. At least three Social Work staff could lose jobs is this so-called ‘stream-lining.’ Restructure the School of Business Changes to two departments within the School of Business are to cost, efficiency imperatives, and, of course, research. A document that Critic obtained last semester makes it clear that any staff without strong research records would face an uncertain future. Fire people It seems that some amount of job loss is unavoidable as departments reshuffle. Most seem to still have their faith firmly vested in Skegg, as the man who will lead them through. The College of Education Dean is certain that Skegg is making necessarily difficult decisions, but making sure changes happened as smoothly as possible. Geoghegan points out that many universities have faced similar problems, and at Canterbury they lost a number of staff – with over 600 jobs under review earlier this year. “That’s an option that could have been looked at at Otago – reducing the number of staff – but that’s been one of Skegg’s big things, not just making redundancies left, right, and centre.” Cap the roll In May, in the same meeting at which the Design School’s fate was decided, the University Council voted to cap the University roll – they will let in fewer domestic undergraduates next year. Get the ball rolling on making us hawt The recently unveiled Campus Master Plan would completely change the face of the University of Otago if it is ever fully realised. It’s extremely expensive, thus controversial, but if it ever comes to fruition it would be a big part of Skegg’s legacy. SKEGG GOES DOWN A PEG Skegg plans to stand down from the position of Vice Chancellor on July 31 next year. Ever the gentleman, he has given a full 14 months’ notice, although he is only required to give three. Chin believes Skegg was “hugely noble” to give the advisory committee ample time to find his successor. When Critic asked the Mayor why Skegg was resigning, he answered, “I have my views on that, but I don’t think really that’s for me to answer.” He quickly added that he had nothing to hide, but felt only Skegg himself could answer that question. Skegg is expected to give interviews as his term

comes to an end next year – so we’ll have to wait and see what he says. For now, he has made it clear that he has no plans to leave our humble city, although he has not specified whether he will stay at the University in an academic position, as has been speculated, or retire. But it’s not over yet. As Chin noted forcefully (and somewhat selfreferentially) “I think that when you want to pass judgment on a person, you should at least wait until he has finished his term.” Most people to whom Critic spoke are quick to emphasise that many of Skegg’s euphemistically ‘difficult decisions’ relate to outside forces. “I think certainly there have been hard decisions that he has had to make, because of the changes politically, in funding and just in terms of budgets, but I think that he has led the decision process in a very inclusive way,” Chin says. Geoghegan also clearly asserted that the “[University of Otago] has been going in the direction it’s been pushed from Government level.” Nevertheless, if anyone must claim responsibility for the direction the University is taking, it is David Skegg himself. How he is remembered as Vice Chancellor by staff and students will likely depend on how he navigates the next 14 months.

THE CARTWRIGHT INQUIRY. In the late 1980s, a national scandal arose over an experiment for treating carcinoma in situ (CIS) – an abnormal cervical lesion – at the National Women’s Hospital in Auckland. The Cartwright Inquiry (headed by Sylvia Cartwright) was launched to investigate the work of Dr. Herb Green and his colleagues, who allegedly left numerous women with CIS untreated, resulting in their development of cervical cancer and eventual death. The Inquiry concluded that Green’s treatment was unethical and the management of his patients inadequate. Skegg was involved with the Cartwright Inquiry, and has been a vocal critic of government research and evaluation funding, and the national cervical smear programme in particular. In fact, he was the first the first to coin the term ‘the unfortunate experiment’ in January 1986, a name now often used to refer to the incident. In 2009, Auckland History Professor Linda Bryder published a book entitled A History of the ‘Unfortunate Experiment’ at National Women’s Hospital. The book “turned history on it’s head” (according to the New Zealand Herald) by coming to the opposite conclusion to the official inquiry, and defending the work of Dr. Herb Green and his colleagues. Skegg has vociferously denounced Dr. Bryder’s book in several prominent media outlets, including the Herald and the Otago Daily Times. When contacted, Linda Bryder was initially reluctant to speak out against Skegg. However she did say that she thought his response to her book was “outrageous” and that he had said “some fairly damning things about me” in the media. Dr. Bryder also condemned the ODT for being unwilling to cover both sides of the story. She told Critic “I think [David Skegg] would have been better, as this stage, not to have gone public in the way he did, because I don’t think that he was a significant player in 1988 when the report came out.” 37

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elcome back team. I hope you had a marvelous holiday. Like a few of you I was stuck in the library, trying desperately to pull together one of these dissertation thingies. My obligatory blurb you give, when you catch up with or meet someone who was also silly enough to commit to a thesis, is on property rights. These understandings between people, institutions, and the natural world mean everything to the functioning and fairness of a society. And yet it is a little freaky how difficult it is to philosophically ground these seemingly concrete understandings of ownership. Conceptions of property rights have been used to bloodily dispossess whole peoples from their land, as in Australia and Carolina. But read John Locke’s influential “Of Property” and you can easily pick holes in the kind of arguments which justified these atrocities. One of the key natural resources for which we must define the property rights is water. It is an extremely important global issue and crucial to the developing world. 894 million people today don’t have access to safe freshwater. 1 billion children and a further 1.5 billion adults live without basic sanitation. Water is used to produce food, fuel, energy, and more. Water politics are health, environmental, security, and economic issues. And the pressure is on now because of population growth and climate change. So I’m in the library, writing a chapter on property rights for a dissertation on water which I figure is one of the most valuable contributions to political studies I could make. And in the dusty Leith Street Storage I stumble upon some work by a well-known figure who had already written on pretty much exact same topic twenty years ago. Guess who ... Rodney ‘ACT Party-leading, climate change-denying, perk-buster-who-it-turns-out-abused-perksas-taxpayers-flew-his-girlfriend-to-Hawaii-to-give-him-orgasms’ Hide. I felt like Harry Potter coming across Voldemort’s diary while the other students were on vacation. The young bad guy I could connect with, before he began looking as evil as his policies are fucked up. Like Netanyahu or Cheney. What screwed with me was how good the work was. Really clear thinking, a touching preface, and philosophy in the footnotes! Beautiful. Also, it was very well endowed with references. I’m planning on trying to tap into some weird kind of academic version of penis envy and try and out do the 300-odd items in his bibliography. If you can’t join ‘em, beat ‘em. Dominic Szeker

ot every job that is necessary for society to function is desirable to everyone, nor is every job equally easy. Since most people differ from one another, their skills and interests vary. To ensure that the less desirable, or more complicated and difficult but vitally important jobs are completed, they must offer higher levels of remuneration. Equality of opportunity means no arbitrary barriers should stand in the way of people achieving their goals, gaining employment or living comfortably. These opportunities should be available to everyone, based on their talent and effort. Equality of opportunity does not conflict with freedom; it is the freedom to pursue an interest and gain reward for effort contributed to society, or another person. Equality of outcome, by contrast, doesn’t give everyone the same opportunities, but aims to ensure that everyone is absolutely equal in the end. However, if rewards are equal to all, then we lose the incentive to work, or work harder. In turn this decreases aspiration and initiative, which is what has led society to progress in the past. This development has increased the wellbeing of everyone in the developed nations. If the Government must ensure that everyone has the same standard of living, taken to its end conclusion, they must not only dictate income, but they must also dictate expenditure. If people are allowed the free will to spend their income how they like, through luck, choice or ignorance, some will spend their income less wisely. By preventing freedom to choose an occupation, or how we spend our money, equality of outcome will limit economic and political freedom. To ensure that the more difficult and unpleasant roles are filled people must either be rewarded for taking them on, or given no choice. For the state to determine your occupation is contrary to free will. This shows the weakness of ideology. A pure meritocracy does not offer true equality of opportunity, as some people are limited by their environment, which may cause poor health outcomes. Some measure of equality of outcome may help to promote greater equality of opportunity in future generations. Equality of outcome removes poverty as measured in relative terms, as a proportion of the average wage in a society, but it will result in greater absolute poverty by lowering incentives to work. People should be allowed to do well in whatever field they choose, or to forgo income in favour of free time if that is what they want. The Government’s role is not to guarantee and manipulate society so that everyone has the same life, but to ensure that everyone has the same set of opportunities to take advantage of, or not if they so choose. Edward Greig

Matt Chapman argues it does; Beau Murrah disagrees. Matt: The drinking culture at the University of Otago is a problem that is getting exponentially worse as time goes on, and something needs to be done about it. The simple fact that it’s referred to as a ‘culture’ should be a blatant indicator that something is very wrong. We don’t need to eradicate drinking – it is an important aspect of University life – but we definitely need to bring it under control. Rather than just being a localised, short-term problem, it’s affecting the future of every single student at this University, whether they drink or not. Our drinking is getting so out of hand that it’s no longer being contained within the grounds of the campus; it’s being publicised on national (and sometimes international) television. Because of this, Otago’s respectable reputation is slowly being trashed as we build ourselves the reputation that we’re a pack of fucking idiots who have absolutely no self control whatsoever. Unless we do something about our drinking, the only thing that an Otago degree will be useful for will be as tinder to light the next couch, because any potential employer is going to take one look at it and tell you to take a hike. Rather than whining when the University steps in to control our drinking, we should start controlling it ourselves. We’re slowly losing all our favourite watering holes because we’re consistently proving that we don’t have the capacity to take responsibility for ourselves. We’re perpetuating a culture where it’s okay to forget what you did last night, a culture where it’s hilarious if you end a night with a chat to the cops. Yes, there are those out there who will say, “Chill out, it’s all in good fun,” but not only are we endangering ourselves with our drunken antics, we’re endangering our futures. I’m all for a fun night out, but we need to draw the line. We’re fast becoming the laughing stock of the nation when we all know that that should be Canterbury. Again, we don’t need to stop our drinking, but we need to take control. Drinking or a degree? It’s our choice.

Beau: What exactly is the University’s drinking culture? By ‘culture’, are we including the five-o’clock Friday drinks at the staff club frequented by Professors? What about post-grad students having long yarns over wine about their dissertation at functions? Does Saint Margaret’s drinking culture need changing? I presume by ‘University drinking culture’ we are referring specifically to Scarfies drinking culture: goon sacks, wizard sticks, pre-loading, keg stands, and telephoning your mates with a jug, among other things. What we are really talking about is youth binge drinking with a Dunedin student flavour. We are talking about a binge drinking culture that is present in basically all places in New Zealand where there is alcohol and young people: it just so happens this culture is clustered at our institution and plays itself out on a large scale. Unfortunately, the worst elements of this culture have played out in national media at University-related events like the Undie 500 and Toga Parade. This drinking culture is governed by wider social and economic factors than our University and it involves a diversity of individuals. These people likely learned drinking habits before even coming to Otago, among other factors out of the University’s control. It is unwise and incorrect for the University to try to take on some sort of social engineering role in what is a larger cultural issue. The University is not and should not need to be our parental guardian, trying to act in ‘our best interests’ in loco parentis. University is not daycare. If anything, we as students should be involved in this issue ourselves – or are we too stupid, and need to be coddled? The University appears to have marketing incentives designed to quash Scarfie drinking culture in a move to support its image and to appeal to international student cash. The University does not need to change its drinking culture but it appears it will try to anyway. I can only recall the history lessons of the temperance movement and prohibition and suggest such moves are counter-productive.

Debatable is a column written by the Otago University Debating Society. They meet every Tuesday at 7pm in Commerce 2.20. 41

port, and more specifically football, is what some say makes the world go round. According to The Guardian it causes the ethnic and tribal fighting in Darfur to stop, while groups of people huddle around a small black and white television set to watch 22 men kick a ball that apparently cost millions of dollars to develop. So if they went crazy for it in Darfur it’s easy to see why we went crazy for it in New Zealand, with 350 000 of us getting up to watch the All Whites’ match against Italy (infuriating employers the next day with half the staff turning up late, or still half asleep). If you were to judge by the media coverage, which was verging on David Bain mania, the consensus was that the All Whites had not just surpassed expectations, they had also opened up a new space in the psyche of the typical Kiwi. The space which is usually reserved for rugby, dog-racing, and beer. What is exceptional about the All Whites’ success is that unlike most of the other teams competing they are not a group of overpaid millionaires; with the exception of North Korea, they’re the lowest paid team at the cup. Look at Andy Barron, the bank clerk from Wellington. Barron should have been made player of the tournament, not for his skill or performance but the fact that he might have had to take some of his annual leave to attend. By the time you read this, the All Whites are long gone and the cup was taken home by one of the more traditional footballing nations. The question is, now that the final whistle has blown in Johannesburg and Martin Devlin has stopped giggling like a little schoolgirl, will the All Whites and New Zealand football in general be able to carry on this momentum that has built up over these past few weeks? I find it hard to imagine that football will surpass our traditional code. I just don’t see people travelling up to three hours just to watch a game between the All Whites and the Socceroos like many did for the All Blacks vs. Wales match. Hopefully the bigwigs at New Zealand Football know what’s good for them, and will put more effort into growing the game. Spouting out that soccer is the sport most played by youngsters is not the best idea, and they should probably stay away from paying for David Beckham to come back anytime soon because this time Posh Spice might actually join him. Tim Miller

Nuclear Warfare

ll good things must come to an end, and sadly this applies not only to, say, a delicious sandwich, but also to the very fabric of existence itself. Yeah, it’s kind of a bummer, but let’s face it: we’ve all known it’s been coming for a while. We’ve all seen the warning signs. Worldwide recession; overpopulation; pandemic scares; the reformation of Creed. The apocalypse is coming soon, my friends, and it’s time we stopped shying away from the big questions. In what way will humanity meet its ultimate demise? What can we do to save ourselves? And can a guy who’s been writing for this magazine for way too long provide some kind of ‘humorous’ spin on the different possible scenarios? None of these questions have quick and easy answers, but I hope to at least provide some solace to those who are slightly miffed at the idea of meeting their untimely end. Let’s start with the obvious one: nuclear war. This has been a popular apocalyptic scenario since the 1950s, and while its popularity has decreased in recent years it still ranks fairly high in the ‘things that make people shit their pants’ stakes. For good reason, too: right now, there are enough nuclear weapons in the world to instantly vaporise every human, animal, plant and Tony Veitch living today. There’d even be enough power left over to destroy any life that may exist on other planets, as well as on parallel-universe versions of our own planet – including that one where your novelty hip-hop single went straight to number one instead of selling only three copies. While the thought of instant vaporisation may be enough to temporarily distract you from writing yet another brain-dead status update on Facebook, how many of you have seriously thought about protecting yourself from this very real concern? How many of you have actually taken the time to sew lead linings onto the inside of your jeans, or to build a secret underground bunker filled with a lifetime’s supply of miscellaneous canned goods? For too long we have thought of the apocalypse as being something that happens to other people and carried on with our daily lives. Well, I’ve got news for ya, buddy: the apocalypse can sense your apathy, and that only makes it angrier. It can and will strike at any moment, and when it does you’d better be ready. You have been warned. Iain Dangerfield

A Fat Cat

carfies are dead. Among the (many) accused: the Fat Cat. So, I present the opportunity to transform yourself into this social stereotype. This week, Matthew, I’m going to be a Fat Cat! The Fat Cat is a simple transformation. All you need to focus on are two things: appearance and attitude. Don’t worry about having knowledge of political systems. If that was a requirement, then half the MPs in Parliament wouldn’t be where they are. For a Fat Cat, attitude is everything. If you want to stay a Fat Cat and not become a whining pussy, you need to have the right attitude. For starters, always remember to shit on the little guy. People won’t respect you unless you constantly remind them of your superiority. The general public are nothing more than sheep, only useful for their part in helping you gain power. Make sure you utilise their taxpayer funds as much as possible. The taxpayer isn’t able to spend that money, so they like to see that at least someone is enjoying it. Take a holiday on them; chuck it on the credit card. People love to see a Fat Cat enjoying their job. On that note, make sure to create lots of ridiculous bills and laws, as it shows you have a sense of humour and makes people more likely to re-elect you. Take the Anti-Smacking Bill or Emissions Trading Scheme for instance. Fat Cats are in the public eye a great deal. As such, it is vital that you employ the same techniques that they do to make yourself seem like such a dignified member of society. Go out and buy a bunch of expensive suits (preferably on the taxpayer credit card) and then mismatch all the patterns when you wear them. This shows the public that you are doing well enough that you can afford great clothes, but also that you’re busy enough that you don’t have the time to dress properly. If you have the time, make sure to eat as much as possible. Put the ‘fat’ in Fat Cat. Girth garners respect in Parliament, and women will be attracted to you for your implied wealth and status. If you don’t believe this, look at Gerry Brownlee. The man is a God in an Armani suit. Follow this guide and you’ll be overusing credit cards and alienating the public in no time. Remember, being a Fat Cat in Government is a lot like being a Scarfie; it’s all about the parties ... Matt Chapman

Nearly Forgotten Scarfie Traditions

There’s been so much whining about how Scarfies are a dying breed. But like most things in life, there’s no point whining about it – you’ve got to do something about it! However, if you’re going to do these, be aware that you could get arrested and/or sick.

5. The Pelican: This is pretty damn Scarfie. It requires at least

two participants. Participant A drinks as much as possible until they’re about to vomit. Participant B takes a knee and opens their mouth. Can you guess what happens next? No, they don’t start holding hands while joyfully singing ‘The Song That Never Ends’. Rather, A vomits into Be’s mouth. For bonus points you keep vomiting into each other until you get ‘sick of it’. 4. Cold Start Dinners: The concept of this sounds surprisingly cool. It consists of everyone in a flat inviting a completely random member of the opposite sex to dinner. Of course, you might want to play a few drinking games to break the ice. If you play your cards right you might get more than a nice dinner. 3. Collecting Calling/Telephoning: Okay. So, this does still go on, but it has certainly decreased dramatically in popularity. ‘Telephoning’ is when you smash a jug over your head, leaving only the handle, which resembles a telephone in shape. A ‘Collect Call’ is when you do that to someone else (because they have to pay for it). Try to avoid doing it with glass jugs, though ... 2. Country Friday: Imagine being the first person to coma after a big night out. Now imagine waking up on the highway about 20km outside Dunedin. Naked. Congratulations! You’ve just been on the adventure that is Country Friday! Now pick up your Scarfie arse and hitchhike home. When you get back, apologise to your friends for being such a terrible drinker. 1. Couch Burning: This pyrotechnic tradition has been largely extinguished thanks to Skegg’s CoC. While a few appear here and there, it is hardly to the extent they used to be back in the glory days. Speaking of Skegg, I hear he’s leaving soon. Maybe we should organise a farewell for him out of town, where each car has to bring a couch and plenty of piss. In a large field, we set up the couches to spell out “Skegg loves the CoC,” then set them on fire. It would make a lovely aerial photo. Richard Cheese

Is the ODT having an identity crisis? It just can’t stop talking about itself. It’s getting weird. I mean, when you get an exclusive it’s totally legit. This is normally an irregular and tolerated nuisance in any paper, but the ODT has really embraced it in the last year. (Surely it would have nothing to do with those shrinking subscriptions.) But this one is classic:

“

Householders dug out candles and torches, and the Otago Daily Times received several reports of people checking on friends and relatives living alone.

”

-12/06/10

That’s some breathless reporting! … of a power cut. Admittedly, Allison Rudd wrote it. But still, what sort of weird world do the ODT writers exist in if they are surprised to hear about people helping others? David Loughrey’s ‘Remotely Interesting’ TV column is getting more than remotely fucking odd. A few snippets from the man who is also tasked with covering the DCC:

“

As the drug’s effects wear off, THX finds himself experiencing authentic emotions and sexual desire – annoying aspects of life I have long objected to – for the first time.

”

-11/05/10

And:

“

Dunedin: My Dunedin, how I love thee. This is no cheap, physical infatuation, though I adore your pink, ruddy faces, and love the thick, hairy calves on your men and women, calves both utilitarian and deeply erotic.

”

-03/11/09

Samuel McKay Caldwell

his week’s column comes to you from the middle of the holidays (not because I have a time machine, but because that’s when my deadline is) and while you have all been away there’s been heaps going on at OUSA: Planning and preparation have been in full swing for ReOWeek. Art has been working with Events and our International Clubs to bring us the International Food Festival, and James has been rallying around to organise an epic celebration of all things stereotypically manly: OUSA’s inaugural ‘Manday.’ Steph has been working on ‘University Policy Made Easy’, translating the rules we all should know into plain English. Claire has been sitting on the review panel for Student Health giving student feedback and making sure that student-friendly improvements are built into the recommendations. She’s also been working with the Student Support Centre to bring you the next ‘speed flatting’ – an opportunity to find people to fill an empty room in a flat or find a flat to move in to. The flatting magazine gets released this week – it’s full of helpful advice, so pick one up. We are also going to deliver some ‘flat taken’ signs to flats. These will have ‘flat taken’ printed on one side and on the other, spaces for you to fill in the rent, landlord contact details, and the flat’s STARS rating (WTF is that? check out housingstars.co.nz – a new benchmarking scheme for student flatting that has all the details you might forget to ask about). Travis, our new Postgrad Rep, has hit the ground running and is working on a whole bunch of stuff, from continuing the Postgrad Friday drinks and running (with Events) the new weekly Postgrad Coffee Hour every Wednesday at 3pm in the Gazebo Lounge, and putting some really valuable input in to the OUSA Exec structure review. I’ve been putting a lot of work into that, too. After an (almost) excessive amount of consultation, brainstorming, and getting legal advice, we finally have two massive changes: reducing the Exec size, and consequently increasing student involvement, representation, and internal efficiency via the structure review, and hopefully making SGMs a thing of the past, replaced by online voting. The changes we are bringing in are ones that have been demanded for too long, and many Execs have attempted to bring them in but never quite made it. I’ve done my best to fix the problems, and will continue to work on all the supporting policy and infrastructure. What I need you to do is to vote in the referenda next week and have your say. Harriet Geoghegan

ue to lack of access of technology, the original TRM column for this week is stuck with Fallyn in the whops, so this is a last minute (literally) attempt to get some needed information out to you fullas, so apologies in advance for lack of content whanau. Welcome back to the start of semester two, hope exams went well and you all had a mean as holiday, well at least went somewhere warm it has been freezing down here...so I guess I’m saying welcome to the coldness, and I hope you are all fired up for what semester two will bring (see what I did there). A reminder that TRM elections are coming up in a few weeks, so now is the time to start thinking about whether or you are keen to run. If you have any questions hit up the TRM exec about specifics, and what it is like being part of Te Rito, I’m sure all of us would be more than happy to have a korero with you. This week TRM is running plenty of events (with kai = MEAN) for ReO week, including lunch on Tuesday, games night on Wednesday, and a mid-winter social on Thursday night. You can purchase the tickets from the TRM whare during ReO week, but be in quick as there are limited numbers. So come along and catch up with peeps about the holidays, and talk about how much warmer it was at home, and how the feeds were all good. Also kapa haka is on tonight, and everyone needs to be there as we quite a few performances coming up for Te wiki o te Reo Māori, and Huinga. Chur. Ari Things to remember: Kapa Haka tonight 7pm, at Te Tumu Tuesday – Lunch at TRM whare Wednesday – Games night at the Social Work Department room Thursday – Social, tickets from TRM whare. Ari Te Wake, OUSA Maori Rep

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Letter of the Week wins a $30 book voucher YOU WIN

I am disappoint, Dunedin. Here we are, whinging about the closure of a few grotty old bars – or at least letting some sad old grads whinge about it – and completely ignoring the spine-chilling trend that is the jellyfish bloom. Forget Facebook or that stalkinghot-people page, this is awesome stuff. Massive jellyfish population explosions, flooding Britain’s coasts and causing nuclear power plants in Japan to slow down operations ‘cos they’re blocking up the systems. Jellyfish as big as sumo wrestlers. Jellyfish appearing out of nowhere and devouring whole farms of salmon, and every other edible thing in the area, and then devolving back into polyps to wait for the buffet table to be refilled. The fuckers are practically immortal. Hugs and kisses, K. R. Aken GOOD TO SEE WE ARE REACHING OUR TARGET DEMOGRAPHIC

Dear Sir Reference:- That Time of the Semester; Teuila Fuatai, Issue 14 2010 Right of Reply To paraphrase a comment made by Michael Woodhouse, during his election champagne, recorded in the Critic, why wouldnt anyone want to work(at the University), where all those gorgeous young blokes are. Also gives us some money to spend at the Housie(Bingo) halls in the evenings. One of those kindly Examination Supervisors SMELLY PANTS

I’m puzzled, I don’t know why anyone would do this, but I wish to leave this bit of advice. Tip to guys hitting on chicks, bathe! It’s not sexy to have B.O. and I hate dirty hair. If I can smell you from a metre away then 48

you need to spend some time with a bar of soap! If your teeth be yellow and coated, buy a tooth brush, some paste, and use them! Black dirt on hands, that remains there while you’re eating, is gross. How about laundering your clothes? You know, to get rid of some of the dead flies that no doubt stick to them. I’m not talking about the sniff to see if the T shirt on the floor is clean kind of guy, no this kind actually takes it way, way further than that! From: Puzzled Chick. THINK THIS IS ABOUT SOCIALISM

Clucky, Are you some sort of curse set upon me by a gypsy woman I have offended? From my first day at university when you berated me for losing my english accent to today when you pissed me off with your incessant babbling about the national socialists in critic. To be honest I don’t give a fuck what your opinions are, keep them to yourself please. You are absolutely right that people “don’t want to hear the arguments”, because they have more important things to do with their lives than listen to you spouting on about some shit I don’t care about. You are a twat, With love, Sam A COHERENT, WELL-REASONED LETTER FROM A SOCIALIST AT OTAGO UNI. WHO KNEW?

Dear Otago students, I know that it is easy to judge socialism by the International Socialists, but please don’t. There are some of us who have socialist ideals and think that they’re pants on head retarded, too. We choose to, as much as possible, not affiliate with them, and we don’t ram our beliefs down your throats at every possible moment (if you doubted our existence, the whole not-being-in-your-face-all-the-time thing is probably why). Seriously, though, why can’t the International Socialists either shut the hell up, or make a compelling argument (there are compelling arguments, by the way) for once, and stop giving the political system itself, and it’s non-idiotic patrons, a bad name? From, A respectful socialist

YOU KNOW

Dear Critic, What’s with this cutie spotter shit? What’s all that shit? What’s all that about? Also, one hour photo?! What’s all that shit? Anyone here from Hayting? STOP THE INSANITY

Dear Mr Editor, I was done being angry about the stadium, and what a waste of money it was etc etc. But the other day, as I drove past the metallic eyesore in question, I was confronted with something arguably much worse. Children’s murals. It’s one thing to force a terrifying silver cylinder packed with grunting, dribbling, arm waving rugby fans on Dunedin, but it’s quite another to subject us to children’s art. Given that I have sensibly refrained from spawning (or from becoming a teacher), I see no reason why I should have to view the horrifically bright rainbows, family portraits, warped daisies and miscellaneous drawings of numerous eight year olds. And it’s not just the stadium, the shoddy murals pop up everywhere. Would a plain wooden fence really be that bad? Perhaps the idea is to horrify passerbys to the point where they look forward to the mural being torn down and a new development springing up in its place. So next time, Mayor Chin, don’t add insult to injury by forcing us to endure the intolerable work of the artistically stunted. Keep the shitty kids’ art in the classroom. Yours sincerely, Lamey Whinehouse THE GAZA BLOCKADE

While I sympathise with the sufferings and persecutions the Jews endured over the centuries, the Israeli government has been undeniably heavy-handed in its approach to the Palestinians. Though the Palestinians particularly the Hamas-led government are guilty of atrocities of their own like rocket attacks and suicide bombings, this does not justify depriving the people of Gaza access to basic commodities like food and medicine. Regardless of whether one is a Jew or Arab, innocent people on both sides will still continue to suffer. As long as both Israeli and Palestinian leaders along with their supporters refused to

compromise, there never will be peace in the region. While Israel may outshine its Arab neighbours in terms of human development and economic growth, this does not excuse its treatment of the Palestinians over the past decades. Since its formation in 1948, Israel’s failure to integrate the Palestinians into Israeli society has worsened the divide between Jews and Arabs. The Arab states have also failed to alleviate the plight of the Palestinians by treating them as stateless refugees. Both sides should strive for peace. By ignoring international concerns, Israel is digging a deeper pit for itself. The Arab states could also help by dropping their rhetoric of driving “Israel into the sea”. Andrew Lim THE EARLY STAGES OF A FEUD

Dear Harriet, Thanx 4 ur letta! We r ur biggest fan 2! Letz b penpals <3 Salient p.s. why would you even want the piece of shit vuwsa van. we thought ousa was rich YUP

Dear Critic, I’m a long time reader, first time letterwritter. I heard a rumour that the paper you’re printed on is made out of ground up children. Is this true? Yours significantly, Hernado Valdez WHAT’S WITH ALL THIS SALIENT STUFF?

Dear Critic, Your pages feel nice against my naked flesh. More so than Salient. It just gives me paper cuts, and you don’t want those in your special place. Kisses forever, Candy Badger CUTE

Dear Critic, John who works in the library is a mega babe. I would tap that shit. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE Me

TOURS OF THE MINES!?

Dear Edward Greig I think you missed the point in your column about tourism and mining our wilderness areas. Of course tourists rape the environment to get here, so it would be hypocritical of them to criticise us for not living up to our clean green image. But the problem is, people are hypocritical, they will criticise, and the clean green image is just that- an image. We shouldn’t be worried about whether the tourist who comes here to spend money is “authentically worried about the environment”. We should worry about whether they are going to spend money, and whether they’ll come back with all their money-spending friends and spend more money. It’s not the actual impact on our environment that matters when we worry about our clean green image- it’s the perceived impact. The Ministry for the Environment estimated that tourists would stay an average of 68% fewer days if our clean green image was seen as degraded. Currently, the first thing that pops up on Google when you type the words “clean green New Zealand” is an article titled “How clean, how green? Critic say New Zealand doesn’t live up to its image”. Clearly that process of degradation has already begun. Let’s not make mining the nail in the coffin. I WONDER

Critic! Balm of my senses, muse of my Monday mornings. Let me confide in you, dear Critic – I am worried for the state of this country’s news media. The general paucity of relevant news in regional newspapers is one thing – let’s face it, no one reads the ODT except to see their old auntie’s photograph in the paper or marvel at the unbridled political passion of the Letters to the Editor page – but when the TV news starts covering Wonder Woman’s new costume, you’ve got to wonder how long it will be before some intrepid reporter films an explanatory segment on internet memes. I like turtles as much as anyone, but some things need to stay in the geek ghetto and out of the public eye. Otherwise, how will we know how unique and special we are? – Diana Prince

CLUBS DAY AT REORIENTATION Come and check out OUSA’s awesome sporting and cultural clubs at Clubs Day, held from 10-4pm on Wednesday 14 July at the Union Hall. With over 100 clubs on campus there is definitely something for ever yone!

NEW DEPRESSION SUPPORT GROUP FOR STUDENTS A peer support group called Getting Through will be meeting weekly on Tuesdays at 5.30pm on campus throughout Semester Two. Email support@ousa.org.nz to find out more or to join.

OUSA COMMUNICATION REVIEW To evaluate the effectiveness and ions efficiency of OUSA’s Communicat le at: Unit. Terms of reference availab n/gethttp://ousa.org.nz/events-and-recreatio ation involved/ousa-reviews/ Further inform from: donna@ousa.org.nz , P.O. Submissions: To the Secretary OUSA @ousa. Box 1436 Dunedin, or email: donna 2010, org.nz by 4pm Tuesday July 27th unications marked “Confidential: OUSA Comm to Review.” To make an oral submission written submission. your in this include please l Pane w Revie the

POETRY COMPETITION As part of Maori Language Week, create a poem (in Te Reo Maori or English) based on liber al interpretation of the week’s kaupapa, ‘kai’ (food, nourishment, sustenance…). Great prizes, so be in to win! For more information, and to enter email ana.rangi@otag o. ac.nz. Entries close 21 July 2010 .

MAGICK WICCA SHAMANISM The Societas OTO invites serious seekers to explore the western mysteries as revealed by Crowley. Internationally recognised Grading available within the A*A* and Thelema. Contact Azaka, trees99@actrix.co.nz 03 49

Critique Analyse this...

51 TV

52 GAMES

53 MUSIC

55 FOOD

56 FILM

58 BOOKS

60 PERFORMANCE

61 ART 03 50

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart

Comedy Central SKY Channel 10 7:30pm

elcome to a new section in the illustrious Critic: a section entirely dedicated to reviewing the televisual! We’re going to take recent events, programmes – practically anything compelling or disturbing from the television world – and steer you around their towering peaks and abysmal lows. So, what to start with? Why not with the apotheoses of television? The height, the pinnacle, the apex of mainstream programming; we can look down with contempt on all the other shows from its vertiginous heights in televisual Olympus. Okay maybe we’re overdoing it. In any case, after a bit of strained mentation, we came up with: The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. Why is this one of the best shows on television, you ask? Well ... It revolves, as you probably know, around the eponymous presenter taking stabs at everything from pop culture to current events. It bounces from relatively in-depth criticism of news reporting to risible mock news reports while providing interviews with prominent journalists, senators, and public intellectuals. And he can say fuck. Not many news programmes can boast that that is part of their persuasive, or ironic, arsenal. The Daily Show stands out because it’s a remedy to the sententious journalists, oblique spin-doctors, and bullshit artists (and their often insipid coverage of current events), that clog the arteries of mainstream television. It’s one of the best things the mainstream system’s produced, and providentially, it’s something that isn’t completely up its own ass. Stewart’s also managed to pop some tethered gas balloons of personalities in his time: he’s made the bellicose and mendacious Bill O’Reilly admit he’s “confused;” told the abysmal presenters from the ‘news’ show Crossfire, to their faces, they should stop what they’re doing “for the good of America;” systematically stomped on the cult of fear and panic produced by the Fox News Channel (along with it’s Palin-esque cronies); and methodically compared the earlier statements of perfidious politicians to their present day incarnations, with penetrating and revealing humour. And he did all this without being a total dick. So it seems like this show can do more than the news can: it can be funny and keep you informed. The lugubrious, wooden-faced pronouncements of over-starched reporters are unfortunately a necessity for modern society, but seeing politicians and journalists alike come up against a meticulous yet goofy commentator really makes my day. It isn’t perfect, of course, despite the rating below, but it certainly is a great start – and it’s something that we desperately need here in NZ. I really hope that John Campbell stops revealing “What’s In Our Chips” and goes the way of the Stewarts and the Colberts. I really do. Because this is unlikely to happen, I hope you’ll email, write, tweet, or shout down C4 and TV3 about dropping the The Daily Show from their weekly programming. However, for those of you stacking SKY on top of your course approved costs, you can still check it out on Comedy Central, 7.30pm, every evening. So we’ll try to lead by this example: review television stuff with ladles of irony, limit the babbling, and relish poking fun at the most annoying people contained within the TV world!

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Demon’s Souls

PS3

emon’s Souls is an intriguing and inspired roleplaying game. It replaces the more traditional D&D roleplaying with something more akin to an MMORPG (non-geeks, this means ‘massively multiplayer online role-playing game’, durh). It combines this with an excellent combat control system, stunning graphics, and a difficulty that will make you weep. (I am serious, this game will make you cry, or at least contemplate smashing your PS3 to smithereens with a slightly-psychotic sense of serenity.) The way Demon’s Souls approaches roleplaying differs widely from the typical system, where you choose a race that has stats, then a class that has feats, and then increase these with points gained by levelling. In Demon’s Souls, you choose a class that has skill points, and you can not level anything until you complete the first mission. After that, you can trade the souls of slain demons for increased levels in any skill. This leads to a grinding take on levelling as each purchased point is more expensive than the last. However, this allows for any combination of agility, strength, and magic, if you’re willing to work for it. Now to the difficulty. When you die, you come back as a disembodied soul with less life than you had when you were wearing your body, though you get this back by defeating a boss. You’ll also lose all your money, which can be recovered by reclaiming a blood stain left where you last fell (die again and it’s gone!). Also, all normal monsters respawn whenever you enter an area. Your equipment decays too, which only makes matters worse. You will spend hours figuring out how to get through a single area. This said, defeating a single level is one of the most gratifying experiences in gaming! The graphics are stunning and the controls are sharp. These combined with addictive levelling and the challenge, can suck you in. If you are up for a challenge (appart from passing your papers), you must play this game. Seriously. Must. Damien Khalsa

The NewPornographers

Together Matador Records

This album, the fifth for indie supergroup The New Pornographers, picks up where 2007’s Challengers left off, with that clean production that comes with an album rich in strings, horns, and a well shared-out balance in the vocal duties department. First single ‘Your Hands (Together)’ is passable pop, giving off the feeling of being somewhere between some sort of next-level Fleetwood Mac and a Godspell-style musical about the lives of people in a small town in Connecticut and the uplifting power of indie. This feel continues throughout the album, especially on the yawnworthy ‘Silver Jenny Dollar’ with Dan Bejar on the vocal and songwriting duties and the rest of the band mostly confined to backups in the chorus. The next couple of songs, ‘Sweet Talk, Sweet Talk’ and ‘My Shepherd’, make up for the mediocrity. Annie Clark (a.k.a. St Vincent) comes in on guitar on ‘My Shepherd’, with some subtle, simple, but still interesting lines that wouldn’t sound out of place on one of Neko Case’s solo albums. ‘Valkyrie and the Roller Disco’ is my personal favourite, where the simplicity is finally rewarded. A. C. Newman initially starts off singing the lead vocals and subtly swaps around with Neko Case with some beautiful lines like “stand in the puddle of the disco light’s glow, come on be the one/there, just like that, you’re doing it again,” just reminding me of that moment when you’re feeling shy about dancing, but one mischievous grin from a friend gets you going all night long. Closer ‘We End Up Together’ touches on the brilliance of some of the earlier albums, almost as good as Twin Cinema’s These Are The Fables, and has a few lyrical gems, such as “I’m for damage, sweet damage.” I’d almost believe them, if it weren’t for Bejar not pulling his weight. Hope Robertson

Crystal Castles

Crystal Castles (II) Last Gang Records

I tried to put this album on while playing Settlers of Catan only to be met with protests from a friend about not wanting to be “drowned in a sea of hipsterness.” Well whatever. If really enjoying Crystal Castles makes me a hipster 4 lyf, superglue my skinnies to me. The Toronto two-piece consisting of producer and multi-instrumentalist Ethan Kath and the sullen, screamy and sometimes sweet Alice Glass keeps this album diverse, with lo-fi screamers like ‘Doe Deer’ as well as dreamy tracks like ‘Celestica’. ‘Baptism’ sits nicely between the two, with Glass’ racket suiting the roughness of the synths and drum machines but also managing to carry a catchy melody. On ‘Year of Silence’, Kath manages to take the vocal track from Sigur Ros’ triumphant ‘Inni Mer Syngur Vitleysingur’ and twists it into a slightly discordant dance track, but unfortunately falls a little short of the mark, giving the impression that remixes may have just become a day job here. On ‘Violent Dreams’ and ‘Vietnam’ however, he manages to make up for that, sampling Stina Nordenstam’s ‘I See You Again’, with a Knife-like result on the first, and some nice straightforward four-to-the floor with swirly, tweaky arpeggiated synth touches. ‘Empathy’ and ‘Suffocation’ create some great brain pressure, compressed blips and washy layers of reverby vocals playing very nicely with each other. ‘Birds’ is pleasantly invasive, like New Order and amyl nitrate. It amazes me how much wear this band gets out of pretty much one beat. They do almost test the limits of one’s sanity by pushing the boundaries with repetition. Fortunately there are plenty of interesting sounds, and they seem to just be making the most of a good thing, kind of like label-mates Metric did on their first album, but a lot more brash. It probably all sounds fantastic on all that cheap Canadian acid the hipsters have been eating too. Hope Robertson

100 Favourite 20 Minute Dishes

Alison Holst

hen I happened upon Simon and Alison Holst’s 100 Favourite 20 Minute Dishes cookbook at a friend’s family home some months ago, I decided that it would be a good way to gain some insight on Kiwi home cooking as well as test the recipes of these New Zealand icons. Based solely on the appeal of the pictures, we have tried six recipes, with varied results. The first, and the reason the cookbook came out of the cupboard in the first place, were the orange syrup cakes. Fresh out of the oven, the cakes were nice, soft, warm and orange-y – but not so much after they’d been left to stand (for at least an hour, as instructed). A few weeks later, we tackled two more recipes – both were relatively easy to make and I enjoyed the curried cauliflower and eggs so much that it has become a staple for me. The combination of cauliflower, eggs, potatoes, and peas coated in mildly spicy, thick curry is great and it’s one of those tasty and hearty vegetable dishes in which you don’t miss the meat. Of course, each time I’ve made it since, I have modified the recipe to suit my laziness. As a result, the most recent attempt just wasn’t up to par, so I will have to go back to the original recipe. The beef stroganoff also turned out well, but we foolishly omitted an ingredient, which compromised the end result. There was a nice winey, beefy richness to the sauce but it was thin and lacked (for want of a better word) punch. That’s what we get for leaving out the sour cream, which would have given it a fuller flavour. We did not have as much luck with the next three recipes. The stir-fried chicken and mushrooms recipe had, in my opinion, several superfluous ingredients, making it a little fussier than it needed to be. It turned out okay, but a week later, I managed to concoct a better version with far fewer ingredients and steps. The fish battercakes were a complete and utter disaster. The batter was thick, hard, and tasteless, and those are the three things you don’t want in something battered and fried. All the components of the black forest roll, on the other hand, despite failing to turn into a roll, were delicious. The top layer of the cake stuck to the baking paper, even though we buttered and sugared the paper as instructed, and the cake cracked and all the filling oozed out the ends when we tried to roll it up. There was nothing to be done except scoop up the mess, dump it in a bowl, slap some extra filling on top and eat it all with a spoon. The undisputed star was the divine, luscious, sweet whipped rum cream filling (beat 1 cup of cream with ¼ cup icing sugar and 2 tablespoons of rum until thick). I’d recommend this as a cheat to enhance your desserts. There are about seven more recipes that I would like to try, and overall, it’s a pretty handy cookbook even though the instructions are a little more lengthy than I would prefer and the recipes aren’t as ‘quick and easy’ as I imagined 20-minute recipes would be. Tien-Yi Toh

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Scarfies (1999) Directed by Robert Sarkies

Scarfies takes us back in time to the Dunedin of our slightly older siblings or cousins, one decade in the past. How much does Sarkies’ stoner-comedy interpretation of the Dunedin uni-culture ring true for today’s audiences? This classic tale begins with Emma, a wide-eyed young Scarfie, deciding to live in an abandoned clunker of a house , free of charge and with free electricity (only in Dunedin!). Her flatmates are a fun bunch, a group of freeloading party people that includes Alex, a memorable performance by Taika Waititi of Eagle Vs Shark and Boy fame. The crew hits the jackpot when Scott and Alex break down a door in the basement and find a functional marijuana grow room with thousands of dollars worth of crop ready for the harvest. After helping themselves to a toke, the sScarfies venture into the criminal world. They sell off the harvest to some dodgy blokes while the cops are watching the rugby at Carisbrook. But the fun comes to an end when the man who has been paying the bills comes to collect his weed. The comedy is a bit dated, but the nostalgia runs strong. There is something very pleasant about seeing your city immortalised in New Zealand film history. If you’re a Dunedin Scarfie who hasn’t seen Scarfies, do yourself a solid and book a library viewing room tonight to watch this delightful homage to our hometown and your way of life. And think what of what you’ll do when you find a suspicious locked door in your basement. Max Segal Toy Story 3

Directed by Lee Unkrich Hoyts, Rialto

The great thing about Toy Story 3 is that its makers haven’t succumbed to laziness. Buzz (Tim Allen), Woody (Tom Hanks), and the other toys retain their loveable personalities without being reduced to caricatures; the world hasn’t become a cheap facsimile of itself as happens in so many cartoon sequels. In the final chapter, we can once more be immersed in the Toy Story world of our childhood. But this is changing forever – because the toys’ kid, Andy, is moving to college. The film is about their search for new lives, now that their original reason for existence is gone. It chooses not to go too deep, however. We follow the toys on a light and amusingly madcap journey: first to an apparently idyllic day-care that turns out to be a totalitarian hell, then to the household of a little girl whose toys are a group of thespians, and finally to the local dump. The series’ characteristic action and humour remain strengths – the Ken doll from the day-care is a particularly ingenious comedic touch. But underneath the fun is the overall theme of coming to terms with rejection. Yes, the ending is sad, and true enough to life to really move you. While Toy Story 3 isn’t as original or insightful as number one, to reach that film’s heights would be near-impossible. The finale manages to retain the warmth that runs through the series, and as a whole is as satisfying as you would expect from the experts at Disney/Pixar. Nicole Phillipson

Micmacs

Directed by Jean-Pierre Jeunet Rialto

I’ve never been to Paris, and Micmacs does nothing to disprove my theory that the city is laden with visual splendour which could have only been designed by some sort of film-set deity. Alongside the grimily beautiful Parisian locations, the film’s characters are something from the deepest nooks of Jeunet’s incredible imagination. Bazil, our protagonist, strives to bring down the ammunition manufacturers who built the bullet that ended up in his brain as a result of an armed scuffle outside his video store. He was lucky enough to live through the ordeal but unlucky enough to lose his job. He begins busking (as every broke French person does) and fate brings him to a collective of inventors who turn rubbish into beautiful inventions. He enlists them to help him bring down the ammunition manufacturers. If it sounds quirky, it is. The bulk of the story is what follows on from here. All I can suggest is if you like beautiful pictures, French humour, witty traps, wonderful story or escapism then do yourself a solid and check this out. Daniel Hunter

Amreeka

Directed by Cherien Dabis Rialto

Amreeka is a film about a Palestinian mother and son trying to adapt to life in post9/11 America, where every Arabic person is suspiciously viewed as a potential terrorist. Muna is a middle-aged divorcee living in the West Bank with her son, Fadi. Faced with Israeli checkpoints and harassment from soldiers daily, life is not picture perfect. So when Muna receives papers in the mail allowing her and Fadi to move to America (which she had forgotten she had applied for), they decide to pack up their things and leave to start a new life in the golden land of opportunities. When they arrive in the US, things are not all that they dreamed they would be. At customs they are held for three hours, which, according to Muna’s sister, is not out of the ordinary considering the political climate. Despite having two degrees and 10 years of banking experience, the best job Muna can get is at a fast-food joint. Fadi is bullied at school and has to deal with racial slurs about suicide bombers and Osama bin Laden. A star student at home, Fadi is now shy and gets into trouble, in and out of school. In spite of the difficult circumstances Muna and Fadi are faced with, this is not a depressing film. Muna is a cheerful woman with a lot of enthusiasm, and deals with life in America with a beguiling humour and tenacity. For all the racist rednecks that they encounter, Muna and Fadi also meet many generous, friendly Americans. The message of this film? Life is not perfect wherever you are living, so put a smile on your face, wake up, and smell the roses! Sarah Baillie

Copernicus, Darwin, & Freud: Revolutions in the History and Philosophy of Science

Friedel Weinert Wiley-Blackwell

In less than 300 pages, Professor Weinert pulls off the impressive feat of re-telling the story of three major chapters in the histories of astronomy, biology, and psychology, while also discussing the implications these ‘revolutions’ had and/or have for the philosophies of science, mind, and religion. Copernicus, Darwin, & Freud (CD&F) is one of those rare books that delivers more than it promises, going far beyond just the philosophy of science. Admittedly, CD&F is hard-going, but not because it’s poorly written. It’s just that Weinert is covering lots of ground. His discussion of the Copernican turn covers the obvious stuff about the displacement of the Earth from the centre of the universe, the less obvious (albeit expected) stuff about scientific realism/anti-realism (cf. Kuhn), and a surprising section on concepts of “laws of nature.” And then, as if to demonstrate that he’s not lost in ancient texts, he leaps to the twentieth century, bringing up the Anthropic Principle in recent cosmology. Likewise, in his discussion of the Darwinian revolution, Weinert predictably discusses the discrediting of nineteenth-century natural theology, and the Intelligent Design renaissance, but only after a sustained reflection of philosophy of mind, determinism, and materialism. And again for Freud: sure, there’s the boring old stuff about human nature and about what count as science (e.g., does Freudianism?), but the far more interesting bits concern the nature of social science, its methodology, and its concepts of causation, and the new kids on the psychological block, evolutionary psychology (and its cognates). That’s a lot of topics. And, of course, Weinert isn’t an expert in all of them, so specialists are bound to find things to disagree with. However, I didn’t detect anything particularly annoying, which is kind of unusual of me. I have a penchant for finding glaring omissions and naïve pontifications in inter-disciplinary monographs, but CD&F didn’t annoy me very much at all. I hope to see this book used in history and philosophy of science classes soon. Jonathan Jong

A Soldier’s Tale

M. K. Joseph HarperCollins

Set during the Allied liberation of Normandy in World War II, the story follows a British sergeant, Saul, who stumbles upon a French girl, Belle, in a small country village. Belle is about to be murdered by the French Resistance for conspiring with the Germans. The Resistance accuses her of causing the deaths of several of their members by betraying them to the Gestapo through providing information to her SS lover. Although he saves her from being taken away, Saul knows that he can only protect Belle for so long before he is ordered to move on, and the Resistance is prepared to wait. Saul is therefore left with the decision as to what will happen to Belle. Although this is a love story, it is a love story within a war zone, and the pressure and savagery of war are never far away. While many of Saul’s actions may be judged harshly in a normal world, the author constantly reminds us that these events are unfolding in a world where reality has been displaced. There will be no consequence for his actions. The tragedy for Belle is that for her the war is over and her actions have caught up with her. Originally published in 1976, the story is beautifully written, although some translations for the French could have been useful. The re-release of this story should allow a new generation of readers to grapple with the realities of life in a warzone, where every day life must go on but the choices we make may have far-reaching and fatal consequences. Anne Ford

Making a World of Difference: Inspiring Stories of the World’s Unsung Heroes

Miles Roston Esisle

This book is a collection of stories that profile characters from diverse backgrounds and geographical contexts who are using their individual abilities to make positive change. The book attempts to motivate readers through sharing these stories. While it omits details on how the various schemes got off the ground, it does inspire one to ponder how similar ideas may be applicable in our own contexts and communities. Wil and Flor encourage Amsterdam kids to treat people kindly through teaching them kindness to animals. Paul works in rural Australian Aboriginal communities, building better houses. Frika is in Indonesia working to prevent AIDS and AIDS stigma, having faced the stigma herself when diagnosed. Rachel is an Australian prostitute fighting for sex workers’ rights. And then there’s work on providing hope and education for street kids, comfort for the sick and dying, and setting up the international Homeless World Cup. In all, seventeen stories briefly profile ordinary and extraordinary people and highlight similarities and common themes. While not all the stories or characters attracted me, there is enough variety for every reader to find at least one or two stories which resonate with them. I really enjoyed the portrait photo accompanying each story, which literally put faces to the stories, making them more personal, more real, and more memorable. Key themes reoccur throughout the book, sometimes appearing clichéd (homelessness, poverty, AIDS), but perhaps reflecting a global reality. The book also avoids significant critique or debate on the pros and cons of aid and intervention work, painting each story in a solely positive light focused on the benefits it aims to achieve. The book’s mantra states that it’s the small things that matter and with a little creativity, or inspiration from a good example, individual people can make a difference. Drawing the book to a close are comments on the theory-practice gap between government/ authority and on-the-ground experiences, the moral responsibility of helping others, and finally, the belief that by helping others you actually help yourself. Read this book to hear what inspiring people are doing, and you might just be inspired yourself, to do something for your world. Anna Star

Out of Captivity

Marc Gonsalves, Keith Stansell, Tom Howes, Gary Brozek HarperCollins

Out of Captivity is, as the title kindly spells out, a book about captivity. More specifically it details the capture, fiveand-a-half years of imprisonment within the Colombian jungle, and the (frankly, brilliant) rescue of three American government contractors. Crash-landing in the jungle is not ideal at the best of times; at the worst of times, you are an American fighting the War on Drugs in conjunction with the Colombian government and you land right in the middle of rebel Revolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia (FARC) territory, making you an invaluable hostage for ransom money. Flippancy aside, what these three men were subjected to during their period of captivity was disturbing and incomprehensible, relative to one’s own comfortable life. They marched for days through the jungle, at times chained together, and stayed in hastily-made tents and prison-like camps with other captives. The lower FARC members seemed little better off than their captives and their ad-hoc existence in the judge showed their ingenuity but also great failure within the organisation. There was nothing organised about the FARC. Having the men tell their own story allowed for greater insights into their time in captivity which no other author could have given, and large portions of the book were devoted to their inner thoughts and the mental exercises they used to occupy their time and keep their sanity. Unfortunately, their writing styles, in particular their retrospectives on life prior to capture, were a little too reminiscent of a fifth-former’s English essay. Merit. Nice try, but sentences such as “I wasn’t in a reflective mood that morning, just riding a literal and figurative high” sound slightly too constructed to ring true. Having three authors gave the events a slightly more holistic overview without too much overlap, although I must admit that I tended to blur the men together. Overall, if you can ignore the sometimes artificial writing and concentrate on what is generally a very interesting plot, it is an entertaining read containing some fascinating insights into what it’s like to be a FARC hostage in Colombia’s jungle. Kate Macey

SEMESTER ONE: WHAT CAN WE LEARN?

Looking back at Semester One, I thought I would offer my thoughts regarding what works and what doesn’t really work so well when it comes to directing/producing/devising a Lunctime Theatre performance. Keep it simple and clean! LTT is only a 40-minute show, so keep things tidy and sharp and use the space to your advantage. See: Cicadas, Play, 7 Jewish Children and He Said, She Said. Break the routine! Think pace, think tempo, think music, think anything – just break the routine! Be bold! The Allen Hall Theatre is a playground for theatre students and practitioners, so do something that challenges you. Push yourself to come up with new and interesting ideas. (I say this but at the same time remember to keep it simple!) See: Mind Under, Shared Agendas, and Lucid Dreaming. Utilise knowledgeable and experienced outside eyes wherever you can. Pull someone in to view a rehearsal and ask for help if you are stuck or struggling. Often little tweaks here and there, possibly ones that you might not see if you are completely engrossed in a production, can make all the difference. That final polishing could really help to ‘make’ any production. Jen Aitken

Semester Two LTT:

so many weeks, so much potential! • • • • • • • • • • • • • 60

July 15/16 Romeo and Juliet – written by William Shakespeare, directed by Sam Irwin July 22/23 Pop Life – an installation July 29/30 Here We Are – written by Dorothy Parker, directed by Diana Mockford August 5/6 An Ordinary Story – written by Abby Howells, directed by Sam Irwin and Martyn Roberts August 12/13 Skin Tight – written by Gary Henderson, directed by Katie King August 19/20 Crave – written by Sarah Kane, directed by Eryn van Dijk August 26/27 Anti-Social Tap Stands-Up – by Anti-Social Tap, produced by Katherine Hurst September 9/10 Sunday Roast – written by Thomas Sainsbury, directed by Paul Rothwell September 16/17 The Cyclops – written by Euripides, directed by Jimmy Currin September 23/24 Lunch – written by Steven Berkoff, directed by Hannah Gould September 30/1 October Moonscapes – written by Jo Bond, directed by Janis C. Y. Cheng October 7/8 Voyager VII – devised by THEA152 students October 14/15 Open Mic

Seraphine Pick

DPAG Until 26 September

he Seraphine Pick exhibition at the DPAG requires the viewer to become a detective scouring through the large-scale survey of works to find threads of cohesive meaning or narrative. Seraphine Pick is one of New Zealand’s most revered painters. Pick’s work is characterised not only by her ability to catapult the viewer into other worlds, but also the interactive quality of her work. This encourages the viewer to formulate their own narrative out of what they experience. The exhibition unveils consistent connections in Pick’s artistic practise anchored by an interest in memory, identity, sexuality, and the imaginative realm. The exhibition space is categorised around these themes, highlighted by overlaps and points of correlation, as well as Pick’s progression as an artist. To enter this exhibition is to encounter a fragmented headspace as each work evokes a strong sense of awe, confusion, and sometimes the uneasiness of familiarity. One might liken some of Pick’s work to a David Lynch film. Pick’s figures are uncomfortable to look at and rarely does a figure’s face appear without seeming ghost-like or distorted, sometimes purposely barricaded by brush strokes or an array of objects. This is chiefly apparent in both Wandering Rose (2008) and her portraits in Looking like someone else. There is a particular emphasis on the unconscious and the otherworldliness of the everyday, especially the recurring use of objects that both represent and generate memories. This focus alludes to a sense of emotional distress, reiterated by the notion of objects symbolising the physical remains of broken relationships. This is evident in works featured in both Domestic warfare and Preserves and Possessions. Observing, one can feel trapped inside Pick’s dreams, as her works have a surrealist eminence and an undercurrent of private thoughts and recollections. In both Love School (1999) and Untitled (1998) the eye’s focus shifts relentlessly across detailed fantasy worlds. Pick’s images consume the viewer in a visual frenzy into the unsettling and illogical nature of the subconscious, at times appearing perilous, erotic, and peculiar. The viewer becomes aware of the subversive nature of identity, the otherworldliness of the everyday, and the indistinctiveness of memories. Hana Aoake

Séraphine Pick. He (disappeared into Silence) 2004. oil on canvas. Collection Dunedin Public Art Gallery