JUGGLER’S WORKSHOP (reconstructed from handwritten notes) Juggler’s philosophy is PRACTICAL based on SOLID FOUNDATION. He gains solid rapport by being open and friendly. Then he moves into the seductive part of the PU. He is never angry or upset if things don’t work out. He conveys his extremely positive attitude to the world and leaves the other person in a state better than he found them in.
Preparation Stage one: Have prepared in my mind FOUR topics which I can talk about in detail and describe my FEELINGS in relation to those topics. Eg. Food, Travel, Pets, Friends. Remember to use questions in order to shift between the topics. Always communicate that you are charming and interesting. I will eventually “tip the scales” and she will be convinced of that. Be persistent in communicating that I am charming and interesting. All my movements should be purposeful, calculated and smooth. No nervous fidgeting (!). Avoid pointing finger / fingers when communicating. Keep hands low (within lower abdomen area) this way the gestures are nonthreatening.
Approaching i). Stopping ( if she is walking ) Come up. Stop to one side. Do an opener (ask question) and pivot as she is walking along. She should stop or at least slow down. I can then have a conversation standing still or decide to walk along with her. ii). Opening Golden Rule: Don’t care about anything except for my response to her reaction.(see. Conv. Cycle) I should NOT seek an opener that produces a good response (i.e. a pick up line). Why? o Because it creates “response anxiety” on my part. Creates tension and puts pressure on the situation o Because as we have learnt her initial reaction, whether positive or negative, to my opener does not matter. What matters is MY RESPONSE to HER INITIAL REACTION. Get in their private space, until I get eye contact then take a step back – say the opener – (then it looks like they approached you) – the idea is to get them looking at you before I do an opener. Step into her state – “it’s a beautiful day, you see the airplanes flying over, it’s nice and warm etc etc.” Know where I want to go and go there by pacing and leading. If you see I O I – approach immediately.
Question Vs. Statement – dealt with in detail below (conversational cycles) A question especially if asked early on puts the questioner in an inferior position. The respondent is empowered by choice of answer or declining to answer. It also implies that I want something from the other person. To avoid being placed in an inferior position: o I must convey that I WANT the answer, but I do not NEED it. i.e. if she declines to answer, it would make no difference.
o I must be able to back up my question, in case of her negative/noresponse with a statement. To ensure that the question does not look needy I must always be able to back it up with a statement – this is a majour part of the Conversational Cycle.
Group dynamics group – the person who controls the groups is the one everyone talks to. If it is a >3 set approach them all at the same time, talk to the guy (if present) before talking to the girls. At initial stages include everyone. Approaching the group – two ways o Stare at them (as if you are looking through them) then introduce yourself casually o Approach the group and do an opener addressing EVERYONE in that group. Once the group is approached and opened – charm the group and single out the target. Isolate the target (the group, once charmed won’t mind) – no need to take the target out of the group, it would be enough just to stand/sit so that the target is positioned at an outward angle in relation to the group. In order to be seduced the target MUST be able to communicate with me privately, i.e the others must not be able to overhear. I also have to lower my voice so that a feeling of intimacy is created. (more below)
Transitioning ð in the second half of my interaction with a girl I must transition from being friendly to being seductive. o This is done by: § Positioning – move closer in, include her in my private zone. Tune out other with my body language. § Slow down the moves/gestures. Slow down blinking. § Maintain prolonged eye contact. § Lower my voice tone – add some bass! § Ensure, or create an illusion, that we cannot be overheard by others. A feeling of privacy must be created.
A GOOD SARGE TAKES 20 MINS Getting more intimate in the last 5 minutes and preparing to close.
Conversing: Initial Stages: Group: Find out the relationship between the people in the group. “So, how do you know each other?” One on one: Find out if she is married / has bf etc – “so is there someone special in your life?” Use “That reminds me of…” – to talk about the topic and describe how it makes me feel. Key Elements: When sarging – THINK INTIMACY – it’s ME and HER. Get her to fantasize about us getting together for because we connect so well. I will need to show her that she can be intimate with me by being a good role model. Talk about what I care about first and not what she cares about. Then find out what she cares about. When I talk about things I care about I always show my EMOTIONS and state how it makes me feel. If I stall – so be it, just look really comfortable with that (chances to stall are minimised by having thought about the four topics as Juggler explained above). Convey my INTENTIONS – S. O. I. – otherwise her and I end up being just friends. o You can do this by saying that you like her. A good way to do this is to talk about things I like in life and then include her in that “category”, eg. “ I like people with cute faces, you kinda have a cute face too”, or “I like people with energy. You have some amazing energy about you”. o Use KINO – convey intentions by using KINO – moderate sexual KINO is permitted at initial stages if she feels comfortable with it. Rapport: => is knowing that the other person feels the same way. Pace and lead. o How was your day? <then use her response> § HER: “OK” § ME: PACE: “I’ve had days like that, everything is kinda normal” § ME: LEAD: “but today I’m having a really fabulous day. ( I describe how it makes me feel )” It is important to use BROAD as opposed to NARROW and DEEP topics in the initial stages of the conversation with a girl.
Topics for initial discussions.
Type A is a deep topic, eg. philosophy, choices in life, how attraction works etc. These are good for once I’ve established rapport. Type B is a shallow but broad topic. eg. weather, travel/other countries etc. These are good as starting points because they give ample opportunity to “swim around”, and she does not feel trapped in the conversation which to her appears as easy, nonthreatening and safe. As rapport increases Type B topic (eg. my female friends) can be converted into a Type A topic (eg. what do women really want/how attraction works). Avoid Double Questioning, eg” Where do you come from? What are you doing here?” This is not an investigation. Pay attention to her response! o Reward her for her response § By introducing her response into the conversation framework (“what do you like about London?”, “I like doubledeckers”, “oh doubledeckers remind me of X, and then state how X makes me FEEL. § By finding out where she’s “coming from”, i.e. why does she think/feel in a particular way about whatever it is she conveys in her response (“so, do you enjoy being an aupair?” “ yeah, but the job is a little boring”, “oh, really how is that?” “It’s always doing the same old thing” <this is where she’s coming from – deeper than just a normal conversation getting facts – we are concerned with FEELING> “I see, yes it sounds a little boring<I agree and thus PACE>, but <now I LEAD> I think it’s really exciting to watch a child grow and contribute to it… etc etc” People not only want to be TALKED to but also LISTENED to.
Good questions to ask and other things to say: “What is your goal in life?” – gives access to numerous “deep” topics, eg. life, ambition, emotions, choices, philosophy etc. Note: if not enough rapport, she will be hesitant to answer. Then I have to go first and tell what my goal in life is – she will then share hers Extra points: Associate her goal in life with my goal in life. Reward her by finding out why this is her goal and where she is coming from. “If your life was a movie, what would it be rated as?” An open ended question. o PG – she is probably playing along or is childish. Possibly c/f her for not being mature enough. o 15 – ask if she’s living her life to the full – why not 18? o 18 – find out why. Derive sexual points of reference, if possible. Then challenge her by accusing her of deliberately raising the scale. Then I can neg, if needed, by saying that that her rating should be more like 15 or PG! Note: If not enough rapport – she won’t tell me. I then need to go first. Simple way to get her curious “You know last week something amazing happened… [pause] nah, I probably shouldn’t tell you this”. Make sure that what I say next is at least mildly amazing. Learn to tell stories: A good story should evoke: Curiosity, Intrigue, Surprise, Suspense etc. Consider: BAD Example A: “Last week I met a friend in a park who I hadn’t seen for five years”. GOODExample B: “Not too long ago I was in a park… [pause] (describe) the grass was green, the sky was blue, people looked happy and I felt great. I was standing by the lake and someone came from behind and tapped me on the shoulder… [pause] I turned around [long pause] (look at her while you are saying this) and it was X a friend of mine who I hadn’t seen for ages!” Humour Humour has a structure. An important element of humour is surprise (an ending which the other person does not expect) . eg. “my girlfriend and I broke up because the family weren’t very happy … especially her husband. The best way to be funny is NOT to try to be funny. Do not laugh at my own jokes – looks goofy. Strategic laughing at my own jokes (eg. to diffuse the negative situation caused by on overly cocky/insulting joke) is permitted. Practice suggestions: go and watch some stand up comedians perform. Get a book by Helitzer “The Comedy Writing Secrets”. What to do when SHE asks a question: When she asks a question about me – this is my permission to get closer to her and/or make myself as comfortable as possible. Example: Wayne was talking to a fourset sitting at a table in an open terrace café. One of the HBs asked him where he came from. At this point W walked right over to their table and sat on the same chair that the HB was sitting on pushing her slightly to the side. He took a sip of her drink. Then answered her question. ;).
The Conversational Cycle: A verbal interaction with a girl can be presented in the form of a cycle. The essence is knowing when to take the reading of her reaction to see if it is positive or negative.
The diagram above shows two possible outcomes. I make a statement “Hi!”. She says i. “Hello!” and smiles – positive reaction. ii. “Don’t talk to me!” and frowns – negative reaction. Note: Neutral reactions are treated as positive for the sake of convenience.
The Cycle:
It works like this: § A – My initial statement/question – an approach/opener I approach and open a girl with either a question (eg. What are you looking for?) or a statement (eg. You look like you’re looking for something). § B – Her initial reaction to my opener. She will produce a reaction. At this stage it does not matter if it is positive or negative. § C – My response to her initial reaction – my “statement”. I make a statement supporting/backing up my initial question/statement talking in particular about my feelings. “When I first came to London I always used to get lost as I didn’t know the area very well. Once a policeman came up and told me that I looked really lost.. I felt really embarrassed. Now, after five years of being here, I know the area inside out and it makes me feel free and independent.” § D – Her response to my statement. She will produce a response to my statement. o If this is positive, (eg. that sounds interesting, where do you originally come from?”) § I can stick with the topic and make another statement within that topic again detailing my feelings. § I can open a new cycle dealing with a completely different topic (once I’ve answered her question) o If this is negative, (eg.” I don’t give a fuck, leave me alone!”) § I can decide to bail out – but usually I would do 3 cycles before that § I can open another cycle and work through the sequence.
§ Key points: Her initial reaction (B) to my initial statement/question (A) does not matter. What matters is MY response (C) to HER initial reaction (B). If my response is right, this will produce a subsequent positive response on her part (D) even if her initial reaction (B) to my initial opener (A) was negative. Make sense? § An AFC would test her reaction at point (B). And if negative will bail out. He aims to produce a positive reaction at that point by choosing the right pickup line. The truth is the reaction at point (B) is irrelevant. The true skill comes when her negative reaction can be converted into a positive response at point (D) by working my may through the cycle. § When making a statement (C) it is important to communicate to her that I know myself inside out. I know what turns me on/off. What makes me happy / sad. Communicate to her that I am able to experience feelings and emotions. On the principle of reciprocity once I shared my feelings/emotions she will too – and feelings/emotions are what girls are all about.
Closing o Leading up to a close: (applies both to kiss and number closes) § “… you and I are talking here and you know what… I LIKE YOU. I really enjoy (not enjoyed) talking to you. I think we have a lot in common and I think we can be more than just friends.” S.O.I can also be done by including her in the things that I like in my life – as explained above. § Check reaction: if POSITIVE (eg. “I like you too”) => Close. If NEGATIVE: I say “hopefully you feel the same..” i.e leading her. § If she responds with “Uhh, I don’t know”, “Maybe”, says nothing but smiles, says anything but a direct “no” => The response is POSITIVE => Close. If still NEGATIVE: I jokingly say “Well, let me convince you.” And tell her some story about myself in which I talk about my feelings and emotions. If then I get a POSITIVE reaction => Close. If NEGATIVE – I bail out. § Number Close: “I’d like to see you again”. (go for the # close below) § Kiss Close: (notes missing – But De Angelos’s technique never fails)
o Number Close § “Tell me your number and I will memorise it” – must be said exactly like this o “Tell” is less of a direct command than “give” o She may also be “casehardened” by all the other guys who say “give me your number” o Memorising instead of writing it down/typing in the phone is novel, interesting and is said for a reason… § When she tells me her number. I repeat it back to her, deliberately getting it wrong. She will have to correct me.
§ Then I repeat the number back to her again and once again deliberately get it wrong. She will have to correct me once more. Each time she corrects me by telling me her correct number she makes a commitment to us meeting in the future. Get it? By doing this I turn the situation around – instead of me trying to get her number, it is now her trying to give it to me. ;) § After she has corrected me a couple of times – I pull out a notepad and say “I think we better write it down” This is also quite funny. § Of course there is nothing wrong with remembering the number, if I can. Note: The closing part of PU is a natural consequence of my interaction with a girl. There is no need to use fancy/gimmicky closes, such are for guys who are afraid to close. If everything else in the lead up to the close is done correctly, the closing part simply becomes a formality.
Troubleshooting: Q. What if the girl is not giving me a positive response at the end of the 3 rd cycle? A. One of the following may be the case. i. She is overly shy ii. She lacks energy (tired?) iii. She has a severe PMT iv. She is a feminazi v. She is genuinely not interested in meeting anyone right now. What it means is that she’s just weeded herself out and did me a favour by doing it this early on. Thank her and eject! ;) Note: If I suspect (i.) or (ii.) earlier as I am going through the cycles. I might want to just sit back and pace her more. Q. What if she tells me to “Go fuck myself!” A. Always go along! – If she says “fuck you!” ha ha ha laugh! Coz that IS funny! Never act like I am offended/annoyed/upset. (A point may be made about calling her on her bullshit) Q. What if the girl is very quiet / not very talkative. A. She may be shy or does not know how to express herself. I must give her enough room by, for example, introducing a broad topic, eg. travel, lifestyle etc. If she is still quiet – I may ask to find out why; “you seem like there is something going on in your mind…. what is it?” If she doesn’t tell me, share what’s on my mind first.