Body & Bridal

BODY

&

BRIDAL

LESSONS I’VE LEARNED

AS A BRIDAL CONSULTANT

BY KAHEALANI ROBERTSON

Every day I have the honor of helping women find the perfect dress for their wedding day at a local Lawrence boutique, J.Lynn Bridal. Because of shows like “Say Yes to the Dress,” wedding dress shopping has become an event. Entourage in tow, brides embark on a journey of seeking their perfect gown. But sometimes this incredible search can expose some of their biggest insecurities.

There’s a lot of pressure on women in our society to look a certain way. Our beauty standards are always changing and there’s a social narrative that says women must constantly be improving upon their image. There’s always an extra pound, a little cellulite, too many curves, not enough curves - the list goes on. We can easily overlook what is unique and beautiful about our bodies and get stuck in this cycle of “never enough.”

I’ve watched hundreds of women face themselves in the mirror. That first look tells me a lot about the client I’m working with and how I as a consultant can support them. At J.Lynn Bridal, we are trained to celebrate the women that we’re working with, whether they’re thin, curvy, or trans.

It’s always heartbreaking when a woman sees herself in the mirror and starts talking about her body negatively. It’s even worse when members of her entourage join in. Sadly, this negativity is more

common than you would think. Since our society places so much value on how we look, we’re taught as women to critique each others’ appearances in an effort to “help” each other - especially leading up to a wedding day. Brides can easily feel pressure to make the day “picture perfect,” rather than simply focusing on the celebration of themselves and their partner’s love.

It gets to the point where many women immediately say what they notice about their bodies as a defense mechanism, critiquing

themselves before others can even get the chance. This is a reality for women of all shapes and sizes - and I think it’s about time that reality changed.

At J.Lynn Bridal, our goal is for every woman to walk out of our store feeling beautiful and supported. As opposed to most bridal stores that mainly carry size 12s for women to try on, we carry sizes 2-28 in store and can order sizes 00- 32. From my first interview the owner, Jena Dick, made it clear that J.Lynn is a body-positive and inclusive shop. We

are there to support our brides and help them find a dress that fits their personality and their wedding vision.

That emphasis on supporting and loving on our clients has shown me how when we as women support one another, we flourish. I love seeing a woman that came in insecure or even scared to try on dresses, put on a dress that makes them feel absolutely beautiful.

So how do we practice self care when the world around us tells us that we have to

change our bodies? Well to start, we have to acknowledge that it’s ok to be insecure about certain parts of yourself - that’s just human nature. But it’s important to spend more time looking at the things you do love about yourself and your body. And, if you’re struggling with where to start, you might begin with the fact that your body is what allows you to experience the world around you. You breathe, laugh, love, and feel thanks to your incredible, wonderful vessel. So, give it some love! Drink water and schedule things into your week that bring you joy, like yoga, pilates, or running - and find some activity that makes both your body and your soul happy.

While we’re at it, tell the women in your life what you love and adore about them. Tell them they’re beautiful and strong

and valuable. Let’s raise each other up and celebrate each other with our words. When we support each other, we flourish. Confidence is both contagious and radiant.

And the next time you’re out shopping - whether for your everyday outfits or your formal wear - remember that clothing is altered to fit you. You don’t need to alter yourself to fit the clothes.

Kahealani Robertson is a Kansas City native turned Lawrence local who has been the store manager at J.Lynn Bridal for the last 2 and a half years. She loves working in the bridal industry and is passionate about women embracing their beauty.