Journey to a Personal Legend

THE JOURNEY TO APersonal Legend

BY BRITTANY SWEARINGEN

A teacher asked my class recently, as a writing prompt, if our lives most resembled the journey on a car, train, boat, or airplane. I suppose this could be considered an admissible opener in order to soften the calloused spirits of college freshman in a general classroom, but it led me to think about my life thus-far as a linear route with designated stops and destinations.

Where did I begin? The chapters of my life, as I’m sure occurs for many, are unfortunately tangled to the point that events with no relationship seem to have occurred in the same weeks, while genuine overlapping timelines hold entirely different real estate within my mind.

I do however, remember my first fashion movie, The Devil Wears Prada - shout out Anne Hathaway. I remember sketching every frame of it for hours. I too remember drawing my best friend’s future prom dress - a baby blue princess cut with a sweetheart neckline – deemed a classic. But, I don’t remember putting down that sketchpad. I don’t remember ever deciding to stop drawing, stop caring, or choosing to focus on something more attainable.

I had my typical high-schooler stint when

I believed I would become a psychologist despite my utter loathing for science, the one subject I cannot to this day crack. More generational buzzwords like depression, divorce, devaluation of my humanity by my peers, coming out - and many more I’m sure I could list for far beyond 600 words - became a part of my roadmap. After all of these stops beyond my control, it seemed almost prophetic I should realize that I only really wanted to do one thing. I could make one choice for the fork in the road ahead also known as college. I discovered the only thing that truly inspires me is fashion.

It seems that we all have detours and roadblocks that try to curve us to the path of something more mainstream. Maybe, without these hindrances, we would never realize that there is only one choice that can make us happy. Realizing my personal legend, again and again since childhood, I’ve grappled with reality and conditions to keep it alive. Much like a pesky succulent. Too much direct sunlight and time out in the open, and she will be brutalized. Too much shadow, and she will be forgotten and abandoned. It seems our dreams need to be shown to us time and time again to prove they’re really there, and worth the hardship of keeping them alive.

Yes, of course, I recognize the variance between magnificent avant-garde artistry and my own personal preference towards the wearable side of the spectrum. But, what inspires me is the rules – or lack thereof - in art and in the fact that everyday, in some way or another, I am participating in it.

I wake up every morning and step in front of my own personal curated art collection. All of my pieces hanging on the plastic of a Target value pack. Even on the days when I hate everything I see, and nothing suits me as well as it did yesterday, I love the options. I love having power and control in how to show my face to the world, as well as what people will think when they see me and how they will perceive my very being.

This sometimes tenuous journey working towards what I want to do in this lifetime, including the stops and derailments along the way. I found that I value choice so immensely, likely because of all of the occasions when I felt I had none. And I see now that the route in my mind most nearly resembles seemingly endless miles and miles of hard-labored steel that can be abrupted by any inclement snow storm, but nevertheless keeps on going, boarded or not.

So, when this class question of journey was posed to me, I reflected upon my core values and passions, in addition to important events in my life. I asked myself how choice and circumstance have played a role in

Brittany Swearingen is a freshman at KU studying strategic communication in the Journalism School. She is pursuing a career in fashion, while working as a Team Leader at Urban Outfitters.