FROM ADDICTION TO CAREGIVING

By Amanda Wisdom

Every child deserves to live in a safe and loving household. Unfortunately, this is not the case for many kids in this country. Children are placed into the foster care system when they need temporary, out-of-home care because of parental neglect, abuse, or exploitation.

Some kids are sent from house-to-house, family after family, trying to find a place to fit in. Others are lucky to end up with a supportive and loving family that is willing to do whatever it takes to keep them safe and happy.

One of those parents is Hattie Davis, a 28-year-old foster mother living in San Luis Obispo County.

Davis works as a drug and alcohol counselor for The Salvation Army and studies psychology in college.

Davis and her partner, Ulysses Jimenez, have a total of six children living with them. One is her biological child, Carter, 6, and another is her partner’s daughter, Ashley, 17. The other four are sets of siblings that needed to be removed from their parents: two brothers, Jeremy, 17, and Ryder, 4, and a brother and sister, Mayzie, 8, and Mason, 6, Mayzie and Mayson happen to be her niece and nephew, whom she began fostering and eventually adopted.

“They were removed from my brother’s care in 2017. Everybody in my family had criminal records and are addicts, so no one was able to get them. I didn’t think I would be able to get them with my history. So, we went through a six-month process until we were approved to be able to foster them,” Davis said, referring to her background as a recovering addict herself.

Mayzie and Mayson’s parents were given the opportunity to reunify. They were only given six months due to the ages of the children, who were 18 months old and 3 years old at the time.

“They had gone to rehab and left...just a bunch of different things. They did ultimately show up to court but there wasn’t enough evidence that they had tried hard enough. They gave them six more months to try again but at the one year mark the court terminated their rights. That’s when we made the decision to adopt them,” said Davis.

Jeremy and Ryder were a different story.

“Jeremy is Ashley’s boyfriend. Whenever I would go pick her up from his house, I noticed things were off. I told Ashley that I didn’t want her going over there anymore and they could hang out at my house,” Davis said.

Eventually, Jeremy had stayed with Davis for over a month, sleeping on her couch. It was at the end of that first month that she decided to buy him his own bed and moved him into one of the bedrooms.

Shortly after that, his little brother Ryder was removed from the father’s house, so Davis took him in as well.

“Social Services told me none of the foster families were taking teenagers, let alone sibling sets, so they asked me if I could take them both. So, we did. They placed Ryder with us that same night he was removed.”

Davis said that being a foster and adoptive mother has absolutely changed her. She feels like she would take in all the kids if she could because she knows how bad it is.

Davis had a troubled childhood as well and can relate to some of the struggles her foster children deal with.

“I was a troubled kid. I went to juvenile hall for the first time for being under the influence and being a habitual runaway. I now know I was self-medicating the mental health symptoms I struggled with due to trauma,” said Davis.

She uses her past experiences to empathize with her foster kids and help them deal with their own trauma.

One of Davis’ best friends, Amanda Cordova, has known Davis for nine years.

“She’s the best mother,” Cordova said. “She goes above and beyond to help these kids in need. She never lets a child feel like they are a foster child or not her own blood. Hattie literally has the biggest heart, and I can see that it physically hurts her not to be able to help more kids.”

Another friend of Davis, Wendy Blacker, had similar things to say.

“She has become the perfect mom and stepped up to the plate, not only as a mom to her son, but a mom to her partner’s daughter, a mom to her niece and nephew whom she took in to save from getting lost to the system. She is an absolute inspiration, and I couldn’t be any prouder of her than I am,” Blacker said.

Davis admitted that fostering children is not always a walk in the park, as there are many hardships and challenges along the way.

She said that it puts a strain on her family and relationship. There are times when her partner gets very tired. The last placement was difficult for him, resulting in the couple having conflicting views on the situation.

“Although I’m thankful I’ve been able to give a home to multiple children to grow and gain stability,” Jimenez said, “I struggle in not knowing if I’m making the right decision due to the influence and behaviors my children see and watch from the other children while we are fostering.”

When asked about how she differs from her partner, she said, “He wants a break, whereas I will continue to push on till the end of time.” She also said she does not have much time for herself these days. Most of her days are filled with school, work, and chores.

The children get along for the most part, but there is a lot of territorial behavior when it comes to their belongings. Davis said she believes it’s because they have had to leave all their things behind many times before.

“There is always a need to foster teenagers. Jeremy is in a bit of trouble right now, but he has nowhere to go. This county is in desperate need of foster parents to take on teenagers. If you’ve ever thought of doing it, just do it.”

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