MUSE

My Faulty Pancreas

Learning to Love My Imperfect Body

Fenella Jenkins

On the 4th of November 2019, four weeks after moving to London to start university, my life changed forever after my GP told me, “I think you have Type 1 diabetes.” Type 1 diabetes is a chronic condition in which the pancreas stops producing insulin which controls and converts glucose (sugar) into energy. Untreated Type 1 diabetes will eventually lead to death, however, the injection of insulin multiple times a day can regulate glucose levels. Two years on from my diagnosis, with the support of family, friends, medical technology, my hospital team and the diabetic community online, my diabetes has turned from my worst nightmare into a part of my life that I celebrate for making me unique and strong.

My journey must start at my diagnosis, where after finishing my conversation with my GP, I immediately fled home to my parents who took me straight to A & E at the Norfolk and Norwich Hospital. The hospital confirmed my diagnosis and within 24 hours had sent me home with blood testing kits and a leaflet that contained the frightening reality of my new life. It sounds silly how much of a shock my diagnosis was, as I had felt unwell enough to request a blood test, but I fell victim to the classic thought “it will never happen to me.” I had blamed my symptoms on becoming a vegetarian and my busy new social life. I was losing a lot of weight, had no energy, was constantly thirsty and was going to the toilet so often I couldn’t sleep through the night. Luckily these symptoms all disappeared as soon as I started injecting insulin and I returned to university two weeks later ready to begin my new diabetic life.

Ironically, my biggest fear with my diagnosis wasn’t that I had a life changing long-term health condition but was the way I had to treat it; by injecting insulin every time I ate food. My greatest phobia has always been needles, so to inject multiple times a day was utterly terrifying to me. To help this fear, my nurses suggest I wear a Freestyle Libre device which connects to my phone to monitor my blood sugars, saving me painfully finger pricking every hour. The Libre is the size of a two-pound coin, sits just under and on the surface of my skin and is changed every two weeks. This little device has changed my diabetic life and allows me to scan my sugars on the tube, in class and even in the swimming pool. I was initially apprehensive about getting my Libre, questioning how I was going to feel beautiful and confident when everyone would know I had an imperfect body? As a young woman, going on a night out was suddenly scary and I used to cover my Libre with a plaster to try and feel ‘normal.’ A few months into my diagnosis I simply got tired of hiding a device that kept me alive. Embracing my Libre as my cool robot accessory, I bought some funky stickers to match it to my outfit and haven’t hidden it since. Mentally, embracing my Libre helped me feel positive about my body and when strangers stop me in the street curious about my Libre, I love giving them a quick demonstration. This helps educate them and celebrate medical devices that are not only life saving but life changing to all people living with health conditions.

There is currently no cure for Type 1 diabetes which can get exhausting as monitoring it never stops, however, social media has connected me to other young, diabetic women who post powerful photos with their diabetic technology, proving you can look beautiful with a chronic health condition. Meeting a diabetic stranger and them instantly understanding me in ways others can’t relate to is like being part of an exclusive dead pancreas club. November is my diaversary but is also world diabetes awareness month and world diabetes day on November 14th, where incredible diabetic individuals are celebrated by organisations like Diabetes UK and JDRF. Wearing my Libre makes me feel beautifully powerful by visibly celebrating medical technology that saves my life daily and grants me the freedom to live it to the fullest. Diabetes has given me a strength I never knew I possessed and for that I am thankful. I urge anyone with a health condition to seek support and remember that whilst it is a significant part of your life, it doesn’t define who you are.