Cult. Magazine Issue 07

Cult.ure

Spring 2016

Issue 07

editor in chief PRESIDENT Vice PRESIDENT secretary

FaitH AHMED Halle lagatta

{

{ meet the staff Katira Compos Vivian Rae Leonard PHOTO EDITORS

CONTRIBUTERS

PHOTOGRAPHERS

Arnab Baig Jeremey Bullen JAsmine BUrgos Kara Desaulniers Diana Gil Kelso Lee Kennedy Rakia Khalid Belinda Prophete Kayla Ushijima Angelica Royz

Dan Rodriguez Halle Lagatta Mateo Marquez

LAYOUT Kristine Gaddi Halle Lagatta SPECIAL THANKS TO Hunter College Media BOard

,

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Letter from the editor, I always find that it’s nearly impossible to sit on one of the skybridges of Hunter without noticing just how diverse our student body is. Sure, many can argue that by being a commuter school it’s difficult for students to connect with one another, but perhaps that largely attributes to our dense and complex community. Every one of us is quite literally is coming and going from different places, carrying our own values that making HUnter College the melting pot it is.

There’s something about Hunter that feels sort of universal in that we all access it the same way, yet very personal in that a lot of us have special, long-lasting memories that are important to us that’ve happened somewhere within these four buildings on the Upper East Side. That’s what Issue 07 is to me. It’s a combination of personal stories that we can all relate to and artistic ideas that separate us from other cities, colleges, and people. From our senior auditors to the beach, on behalf of those of us at Cult, I invite you to revel in Hunter’s diversity and Culture with us.

- Faith Ahmed

In This Issue

// MIDAS TOUCH +the HIJAB // guide to festivals +LACE & LEATHER // The silent generation // TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF +BOARDWALK BLUES // Free the NIPPLE // WITHIN A DIMINISHING CARICATURE // not better, just different +mix n’ match +melancholy: in pictures // = Article + = photos

Midas Touch

by Maesha Meto

Not to sound too deep or heavy, but I can count all of the truly freeing moments in my life on a single hand and they all happened on public transportation. There’s something so intensely sacred about being surrounded by sweaty, tired, and angry people who couldn’t give two shits about you and your lame ass life. Or sweaty, tired, and angry people who could give a couple shits about you only because they’re lowkey checking you out. Or the concept of sweaty, tired, and angry people, each engulfed in different aspects of their lives, aspects that add up to make them completely different individuals than you.

I had difficulty pronouncing the word “caterpillar” when I first moved to New York from Bangladesh. My dad won’t nostalgically attest to this because he doesn’t remember the frustratingly numerous times he repeated the word to me to no avail.

The most difficult part of learning a new language isn’t verb tenses but sounding out the vowels.

Caaat-errrr-pill-ar. It helps to utilize it into something you love because then your heart’s in it. I wrote my first poem in the 2nd grade and my first compilation of poems in the 4th, all of them about Bangladesh and how much I missed it. In the 5th grade, my teacher took me aside and lent me her copy of Little Women; the copy her teacher had gifted her when she was my age. She taught me to stop mouthing the words on the page as I read because I had to teach my brain to read as fast as my mouth did.

I read through Jo about dying Beth, and falling in love with Laurie. I learned about life and living, and about love and loving. My college essay was about writing - and English.

It’s the little things that make you who you are.

That unwarranted touch from the family friend you trusted when you were 11 on your way to Disney World. That first gold star you got because you had excellent behavior. Your first break up, your second boyfriend. The first time a man twice your age cat called you. Cooking your first meal, being told you’re cared about, singing Burning Up by the Jonas Brothers obnoxiously loud with your best friends, being emo… and deciding you’re not so emo. Missing a person and getting over that person. A distant memory of a familiar comfort, like those Mr. Softie Spongebob ice creams with the gumball eyes from fourteen Augusts ago. It’s the little things that build up and it’s those same little things that nag at you until you feel somewhat caged but somehow so full of love. All for distinct, inexplicable reasons.

I felt the most free on a bus. Granted, I was in Morocco, traveling from one city to the mountains, but I was on a bus. Imagine almost 12 am. Imagine going up a mountain, sitting next to a sweaty stranger who won’t stop asking intrusive questions.

Imagine being four hours away from your destination and having to pee.

Imagine pretending to be asleep but it being dark enough in the night that the stranger can’t tell if your eyes flicker open. and no one you know being within a 1,000 kilometer radius. Imagine the temperature below 30 degrees fahrenheit. Imagine finally reaching Chefchaouen, the blue city, at 1 in the morning and feeling like you’d never be that happy again. Imagine stars in the sky, as if King Midas himself touched a black canvas and turned it into gold.

The Hijab Who says modesty can’t be empowering?

Directed by Faith Ahmed Photography by Mateo Marquez Models- Hassina Naeemi, Eman Abbas, Neghena Hamidi

Guide TO FESTIVALS

.......

T

he music festival season begins in

Spring, around April, and extends into the end of the summer. The most famous and anticipated of these festivals year after year is Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival in Indio, California. However, there are plenty of other music festivals that happen all over the country and internationally during this season. These include, Lollapalooza in Chicago, Sasquatch! in Washington, Full Moon Festival in Thailand, Glastonbury in the UK, and FYF Fest in Los Angeles, among countless others. This year, us New Yorkers are lucky enough to get not one but two great music festivals happening in our state. The Governors Ball NYC Music Festival is back at Randall’s Island Park June 4th-6th with a stacked lineup. This year the team behind Coachella, AEG Live, has put together Panorama: Music, Art, and Technology Festival, taking place in Randall’s Island Park July 23rd-25th.

1. Pay attention to the weather! Coachella happens in the middle of a Californian desert so it tends to be blistering hot outside. My friends and I forgot to pick up sunscreen ahead of time and had to buy it from a pop-up shop at the festival; make sure to bring it with you and reapply throughout the day!

Be sure to stay hydrated because you’re going to be outside all day and night. If the festival provides indoor air conditioned stations, take advantage of them. A lot of times they have fans, seats, and phone charging spots in there, although the chargers rarely work! My friends and I waited in line for quite some time to get inside of one, but let me tell you, it was so worth it.

2. If you are not good in crowds or claustrophobic...

Might I recommend the edges of the crowd? If you can bear to push your way through, right in the middle can be very open and much more breathable, depending on the act.

3. Know your festival grounds! Explore the entirety of the grounds on day one and check a map. Most of the time the grounds are big and the stages are everywhere so you want to know where you’re going. My friends and I didn’t discover this one interesting area until day 3. Don’t let that happen to you!

4. Plan which acts you are going to see! Most festivals create an app to help you with this, and I highly recommend using it. You don’t want to miss out on any artist that you traveled far and wide to see, so put them in the app and make a schedule. There are many different stages and various artists on each one simultaneously.

Festivals are a fun way to see your favorite artists and also learn about new music you’ve never heard of before; be openminded! If there is an artist you really want to see, try going to the stage they will be on during the act that comes before them and wait. This will guarantee you a spot up close for your favorites.

5. Make friends (or don’t, but at least be courteous)!

Everyone is there for the same reason, their love for music. A girl we didn’t know was pushing through the crowd to get to the middle, and as she passed my friends and I she grabbed our hands and pulled us along for the ride. I still don’t know her name, but she was nice enough to help us out. At that same stage, the guy behind me might as well have bee dancing on top of me, and boy was that uncomfortable. This goes to all ladies and gentleman out there, don’t be that guy.

6. Bring portable chargers!!! Enough said.

7. EAT THE FOOD! Of course this goes without saying, everyone has to eat and you’re there for practically every meal. I’m not sure if amazing food is just a Coachella thing or if it happens at every festival to be honest, but wow was it good over in California. There was so much variety; Try everything! I recommend carrying just enough cash for the day each day as many vendors don’t take credit cards.

By: Stefanie Drinkwater

Lace +

Model: Kelso Lee Kennedy Photographer / Stylist : Halle Lagatta

Leather

The Silent Generation.

By Halle Lagatta

Marjorie Goldberg I’ve always gone to school. I believe if you’re not learning something new everyday, lay down. My friends say you don’t talk about movies the way we do, and I don’t. I use everything that I learn here outside of Hunter. Living on a fixed income is hard but Hunter is affordable and worth every penny.

Here at Hunter,

you may not have noticed the senior citizens sharing the halls with us undergrads. Maybe you assumed they were professors, or guests invited to speak in a lecture or seminar. Maybe you never bothered to ask.

This, often unnoticed, group are members of the Senior Auditing program who contribute to Hunter’s diversity and wealth of knowledge. This unique collection of people provide insight that one can only give after years of experience. Don’t let their age fool you... Each Senior Auditor is young at heart. They can teach all of us to appreciate the empowering nature of education and are testaments of the importance of pursuing and craving a quality learning experience.

Linda Schain I want to learn more, to absorb more, and to continue educating myself. It gives me something to do and I absolutely love school... And the best part, no tests. Why Hunter? The teachers are wonderful, the classes that are offered are incredible, and the price... You cannot go wrong with the price.

“This place keeps my mind alive. Here you are always thinking. “

Roxanne Almond I’ve taken classes mostly in the theatre department at Hunter, I’ve exhausted the Art History classes. I have one degree from Yale, a degree in art from The Art Institute of Chicago, and a Masters from Columbia University as an Art Historian. I decided to come back to school mainly because I wanted to update a lot of my material; everyone is doing new research and bringing new ideas to the table. There are so many more viewpoints now than when I was getting my Masters degree. I love going to Jstor where a huge amount of research is available. We don’t use textbooks, we use brand new articles that have just come out in periodicals with new research that has just been published. That is why I continue staying, I keep getting new teachers with new ideas that keep me motivated to learn. I don’t have to do the homework although I do.

It’s a nice way to keep my hand going.

“It has been a wonderful journey here at Hunter. “

Herbert Weller I’ve been attending Hunter as an auditor for about 8 or 9 years. I recently received a degree in Judaic studies from Brooklyn College, about 20 years after I retired. Things have changed a lot since I first started. Everything used to be on paper and now everything is on the computer.

It’s hard to say which I prefer. One advantage to having the Senior Center is that we have people here to help with those who aren’t so computer savvy. CunyFirst is difficult, you have to get used to it. Many seniors don’t appreciate that the school has provided these ammenties and the space, but I think they should.

“I will be attending Hunter forever. I chose Hunter because I happen to be at the end of the M66 bus and I’ve met great friends here.”

Take Care of Yourself

By Angelica Royz When I was 11 years old, my mom drove up to the Russian supermarket and told me to walk in and get half a pound of salami. I found myself bursting into tears, telling her that I couldn't do it. Inside my head, an entire scenario played out.

One where I would get laughed out of the store for speaking Russian badly. I didn't know it at the time, but that was social anxiety. I would ultimately spend hours of my teen years afraid and paranoid that everyone was judging me. I couldn't even make phone calls because I was so fearful that the person on the other side would think I was stupid or ugly, despite not knowing or being able to see me.

When I was 14, a cycle began.

Every few months, I would spend a week or so, void of emotion.

I would not eat or sleep. I often found myself staring at the wall.

Nothing sparked my interest or mattered to me. I thought of myself as a worthless human being who wasn't deserving of anything good in this world. I didn't think I deserved to live. I would stay home from school and fail my tests because I was too concerned with what was going on inside of my head. One of my teachers told me: "Suck it up and stop crying about boys." She was completely unaware that I didn't have time to think about romantic relationships; the only relationship that was in trouble was the one I had with myself.

This was depression. Once college started, my social anxiety eased up because I was forced to do things outside of my comfort zone. My depression remained, but it didn't

affect me as much as it had in high school. However, something new started troubling me: panic attacks and agoraphobia.

During my junior year of college, my friends and I packed up and went on a trip to California. On our first day, we were T-boned by another car. Luckily, no one got hurt. But in the days following the accident, I started feeling strange.

My ears would start ringing, my chest would get tight, and my head would start buzzing. A month later, I transformed into someone else.

My legs were constantly aching and going numb. I would wake up every hour in a panic, crying, calling out for help. I rushed to the emergency room around 8 times claiming I was having a heart attack or that there was a blood clot in my chest. My pain was constant. My body was on fire. My heart would reach 140 beats per minute and the entire room would start spinning for hours on end. I lost 15 pounds and begged doctors to figure me out. Some suggested anxiety...but that diagnosis made me shudder.

Everything I felt was so intensely surreal, that I was convinced I was going to drop dead. I could no longer sleep alone. I could no longer walk anywhere without assistance.

My list of symptoms is too long to even mention. I was living in my own personal hell. I went through homeopathic doctors, physical therapists, and other specialists.

They ordered countless MRI's and blood tests. I appeared to be absolutely physically healthy. That was when I sought help for my mental health. I found out I had “severe

“Everything I felt was so intensely surreal, that I was convinced I was going to drop dead.” panic disorder”. I decided to do something about it.

It took time to find a good therapist.

It took time to convince myself I needed medication. I would accept medication and never take it.

Forums online told me that medication would cause my personality to change, my body to gain weight, and my condition to worsen. Once I found an amazing therapist, I promised her that I would see a psychiatrist if I found myself at rock bottom once again. Two weeks later, I ended up in the hospital. I was convinced I was having a heart attack. I spent every morning that week vomiting before heading to school. I was not functioning and tried to lie my way out of it to avoid medication. However, I made a promise. I found myself a psychiatrist I trusted. She wasn't like the others who never called to check in on me. She let me voice my fears and gave me resources with accurate information. I soon realized that you can’t blindly believe everything you read on the internet.

Medication and therapy have made me the person I always wished I could be. I was even able to pursue someone romantically—something I often avoided because I was always living inside my own head. I learned how to communicate with people and build better friendships.

I have gained a sense of confidence.

Now, when I have anxiety, I'm able to sit down and deal with it rather

Illustration by Arnab Baig

than running to the hospital. I find healthy ways to cope.

My concern is that college students, like us, don't know how to get help.

We're too scared and sometimes we're in denial. I know my friends and I know they all have problems.

However, everyone believes they can "deal with it" by themselves. I want you to know you don't have to. You may have depression or anxiety. You may even have a personality disorder. This is something you should consider a possibility.

Forget how music, movies, and Tumblr have made us suddenly proud to be broken.

We are too scared to be healthy because mental illness has been glamorized. You might be afraid that you’ll lose your creativity or your edge. I promise you, you won’t. Life can still suck sometimes.

All of your problems won’t simply fade away. It will take time and effort but you will become a better version of yourself. Sure, you won’t be perfect, but you might be happy.

The ones you love want to see you that way. You should want to see yourself that way. You have to try.

You owe yourself that much.

If you don't know where to start, you can try meditation, vitamins, clean eating, etc. There are many websites with information. If you’re interested in seeing a therapist, sites like Zocdoc and Psychology Today can help you find one in your area. If searching online isn't your thing, you can call the number on the back of your insurance card and ask them. You can also contact Hunter's Health and Wellness services.

With medication, you must remember you don't have to do anything you don't want to do.

I completely understand if you would like to avoid this option.

Ultimately, discuss this with your therapist and decide if you should see a psychiatrist. You should have someone who would be able to monitor you during the trial and errors of medication. Please remember that it takes time to find the right diagnosis and the right medication. If you're unsure or skeptical, by all means, try natural stuff first. This is your journey and all choices are yours to make. You can read hundreds of books and tons of informative websites , but

it won’t mean anything if you don’t actually do anything.

P.S. Don’t read stuff about medication on forums. People will write anything anonymously and not all of them should be trusted. That’s not where the healthy and happy people post.

Links to sites with REAL information on mental health: National Institute of Mental Health: http://www.nimh.nih.gov Mental Health America: http:// www.nmha.org Mental Help: https://www.mentalhelp.net American Psychological Association: http://www.apa.org Internet Mental Health (Perfect to look at on your mobile device): http://www.mentalhealth.com Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration: http://www.samhsa.gov/find-help Calm Clinic: http://www.calmclinic.com

Boardwalk Blues Directed by Kara Desaulniers Photography by Daniel Rodriguez Models: Halle Lagatta and Amela Paljevic

Nipples.

Yeah, I Said It. Directed and Written by Jasmine Burgos Photography by Daniel Rodriguez

Did you know that 37 U.S. states prohibit topless

women and only 13 permit it? Did you also know that those 13 states still arrest and socially out its women who exercise this right? It’s about time we reclaim our bodies, our image, and our sexuality. Men in power make decisions for us regarding our pay, our reproductive rights, and especially our freedom of expression. How sickening is that? This issue can delve into deeper meanings of global gender inequalities; but Time Magazine sex columnist, Rachel Kramer Bussel, argues: “The right to be topless doesn’t have to be about a larger cause. The bare facts should be enough.”

What is up with the barbaric notion that the way a woman presents herself is solely for the attention, pleasure, and entertainment of men? Why is it so difficult to consider that I may be wearing this see through top because I am proud of my breasts? You may call this feminism but I call it common sense. I am not saying I vindictively want to walk outside my house topless any moment I can, it’s the idea that the choice shouldn’t be made for me. If I can make that choice, I shouldn’t be socially or legally punished because of it.

Modesty and self-respect are subjective, self-defined words that shape how we portray ourselves. If I can respect a woman who is conservatively dressed, why can’t the reverse be true? Embracing my collar bone is not something to be ashamed of and does not make me inferior to any other woman. How can we expect to win this battle, if there are women out there who still need convincing?

This battle has not been won or settled. In fact, it’s suppressing more and more individuals every day.

For the women that stand for freeing the nipple, keep fighting. We will win someday. For everybody else with nipple-phobia—grow the fuck up, it’s 2016. You can simply look the other way.

Recent Hunter graduate, Samuel Armen, is receiving critical acclaim for his recent novel, Within a Diminishing Caricature. The novel, written in three parallel narratives, follows the last three years of a twenty-yearold’s life leading up to his suicide.

We recently spoke with Armen to learn more about his success, writing process, and advice he has for aspiring writers here at Hunter.

How long did it take you to write Within a Diminishing Caricature?

What was your process like?

I began writing the book on October 9th, 2011. To understand the process, it’s important to know that at that time, major elements of my identity radically shifted in a three month timespan: I just graduated from college, got an internship as a journalist in Armenia at this investigative newspaper titled HetQ (Trans: ‘Footprint’), searched for my biological parents in my homecity of Gyumri, documented the journey and earned a cover-page publication, and learned severely disarming facts about my personal history. Amid those months, I was living with 21 new friends and exploring new lands, and everything was new. Even though my ex dumped me while I was away, I was too occupied to fully notice this growing misery. And then I returned to New York – college-less, jobless, and loveless – and couldn’t connect this new past with the old, and it pulled me in different directions. I didn’t know who I was or who I was supposed to be, and every day that passed in this diminishing sense of self-identity left me with a growing sense of worthlessness. And it grew quickly.

On the worst day – October 9th, 2011 - my ex called me. We fought

and I hung up, and tried to bury myself into the book I was reading (Tender is the Night), but I felt too furious, miserable, and sleepless to focus. I was struggling with this jagged mosaic that was my identity.

One part of me hated this other part of me, but they’re all me… I asked myself why I should continue living, and sat in a panicked silence as I couldn’t find an answer.

I changed the question around, until two versions popped into my head that I could begin answering.

So, I wrote down the words “How much is a life’s worth?” and “What is the cost of a human’s life?” That became the beginning of the book.

More importantly, that moment defined the writing process for the book. I wrote to find purpose in this world, to release my misery, and to redeem an identity.

Has Hunter helped you write Within a Diminishing Caricature in anyway at all? Whether it be staff, facilities, experiences etc.

First off, I’ve had such a supportive group of peers at Hunter. My first book release party was on March 11th, and it was both held and primarily attended by Hunter students. That being said, this book would not exist had it not been for three incredible professors: Dr. Dalia Geffen, Dr. Joel Seltzer, and Dr. Nico Israel. The prior two were my adolescent psychology professors, and were willing to discuss with me everything from intelligence to trauma. Then there’s Dr. Nico Israel, whose combination of erudition and charisma permits him to teach James Joyce’s seemingly impenetrable texts in such a way that we become ravenous to explore. His analysis of A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man and Ulysses (and thus, The Odyssey) is the reason

why my book has its multitude of layers. Just to surface one example: The protagonist states that the ‘motherliness’ of his mom has died long ago – a contention he uses to justify his rejecting of her authority. This directly parallels Stephen Daedalus’s complex mixture of guilt and mourning over the death of his mother, for whom he refused to kneel and pray on her deathbed.

That idea, among the many others that form the themes and layers of the text, was born from that singular class.

How and why can Hunter students relate or connect with Within A Diminishing Caricature?

I believe that no one’s identity is more vulnerable than when entering and exiting a school, so in that regard the book is catered to students in general. But, besides being located in New York – where most of the book takes place Hunter students can connect with the book on a deeper level because the student body is becoming increasingly political. Not political in the sense that they are all voting for Bernie, but in that they question the systems before us. Out of the five colleges I’ve attended, nowhere have I witnessed so much passion about scrutinizing why certain (harmful) drugs get approved and others become contraband, why depression is regarded as anything other than a real disease that needs to be treated via individual care, why relationships have become so complicated and everyone’s parents are divorced or separated, why the mainstream media produces such shallowness, and so on. These ideas are explored at length in WADC. What can you tell other writers at Hunter College that hope to be pub-

lished one day?

1. In terms of writing, stick to what you know, but know more of it. Stretching the imagination is not the same as writing about something you don’t know about. Too many people want to write about things they have no access to, and it always results in thin writing. For me, besides revisiting the texts that the book is based on, I revisited a wide range of psychological and sociological principles. And all of those pages of information didn’t even come close to the difficulty of reading about suicide – from suicide rates and signs to over one-hundred suicide notes.

2. In terms of editing, treat responses evenly. You’re going to get an equilibrium-toppling tsunami of kind words from those closest to you, because they love you and they are celebrating you ripping through the finish line of a project.

But, consider how hard it would be to tell your musician-friend that you think his or her voice is trash, and then revisit the compliments you received. Keep yourself grounded, but listen to and learn from everybody.

3. In terms of production, ravenously pursue all of your resources.

The only reason I was honored with this interview is because I have a connection to you through Hunter and our mutual resources.

Of the first five or so press releases and interviews, every single one began with this kind of connection.

4. In terms of life in general as an artist, NEVER COMPLIMENT YOUR OWN WORK. Just don’t.

Definitely not out-loud. The artist is always the last person in line to evaluate the quality of his or her art.

What's something you hope that

people will take away from Within A Diminishing Caricature?

I think of it this way: Suicide is the third-leading cause of death among 15-24 year-olds, and many of these victims suffer from depression (whether diagnosed or not). Depression, in my belief, is the inability to genuinely conceive a worthy tomorrow while suffering in a worthless today. To understand depression, we need to first admit it’s a real disease, reject lazy words like ‘crazy’ and ‘insane’ that dismiss the opportunity to study one’s behaviors, and begin considering the vast and beautiful complexity of what drives our thoughts and actions. Depression is an individualistic disorder, as unique and inimitable from one person to the other as cancer. Until that dangerous day when we fully grasp all of the mind’s mechanisms, we will never fully understand depression because of its inherent uniqueness. And that’s okay! We need to stop saying ‘I understand’, and start saying ‘I’ll listen’. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: No one commits suicide just because they lost their job, or just because they got cheated on. They commit suicide because that loss of a job or instance of infidelity was, through their experientially-induced mechanisms, inter-connected with so many various identifiers of their self-worth, that it was able to at least temporarily render them into that illusion of unworthy tomorrows. And that’s not even touching the genetic factors of depression…

This book, whether good or bad, delves into psychology and sociology directly by surfacing actually theories, and indirectly by presenting a complex range of human reactions. Hints towards the complexity of the human experience

– that’s what I want people to take away. I believe that reading is an exercise in compassion, and when we read things about the mind and about subjects that are sensitive, we begin to have the type of conversations that have the potential to produce a more tolerant world.

And a more tolerant world is one that says ‘I’ll listen’.

Not Better, Just Different

By Belinda Prophete

It is important to understand that I am one person writing this based off of my experiences alongside the opinions of my peers. I don’t intend to completely change the perspective of readers; I intend to broaden one’s perspective of this argument. There is this ongoing conversation of: “Caribbeans think they are better than African Americans.” While I understand why this statement is made, I do not believe it is true.

Caribbeans are not better; we are just different. In order to better write this article, I asked many Caribbean and African American friends their opinions on this topic. All answers seemed to have boiled down to one factor: culture.

Culturally, Caribbeans feel different than African Americans, which may for many create a minute separation or an unspoken barrier as an African-American classmate describes it. “Though we’re all black, there are subtle differences in traditions, sayings, mannerisms that seem to get lost in translation,” said a Trinidadian-American friend. Cultural upbringings play a large role in shaping personality. For Caribbean-American children, customs, beliefs, behaviors, speech, food, and even music will differentiate them from African-American children. This is due to the experiences that are faced later on in life. I, for example, was raised in a Haitian home where family and friends often visited to listen to Kompas day and night, eating rice with beans, chicken, fried plantains, and legumes on a regular basis. Many of my experiences, which have mainly taken place in school, made me realize that I lived a somewhat different lifestyle than others. For instance, a great portion of my middle school classmates brought Lunchables to eat.

My parents chose to give me lunch money because spaghetti, an average Haitian lunch would need to be

heated. They could not understand how someone could eat a cold meal and always refused to buy me Lunchables. I was never taught to think negatively about Lunchables or of those that ate it. I simply accepted that it wasn’t a lunch option. Not better, just different.

A more specific example occurred many years later.

I did not realize that I had a slight accent when speaking or formed sentences differently until an experience in high school. The teacher was preparing a film to watch during class. I blurted out to a classmate: “Close the lights!”, a term I heard my mother say often. Another classmate looked and smiled and said, “Belinda, it’s turn off the lights.” We both laughed and I explained my reasoning. These encounters didn’t stop here. It continued with situations such as completely not knowing certain words in English or never accepting a sleepover invitation.

My cultural upbringing caused my experiences to be different than those of my African American counterparts. Not better, just different.

Another important factor to be considered is pride.

In many occasions, African-Americans misinterpret pride as a superiority complex. Caribbeans are proud of their home, culture, and lifestyle. Therefore, assimilating into American culture stops at a certain point for some; my family included. A Haitian-American student stated: “African Americans, most of the time, don’t know where they come from in Africa. The name itself is a representation of what we’ve lost.” It is not intended to make African Americans feel lesser than Caribbeans; they are simply proud. Not better, just different.

Mix N Match

Direction/stylist: Faith Ahmed Photography: daniel rodriguez model: Ashley wen

Melancholy: In Pictures

Director/Photographer: Daniel Rodriguez Model: Angela Mourtazalieva Head Stylist: Faith Ahmed Makeup: Eva Senatore

Production Designer: Ashley Van Der Grinten Stylist: Irina Chelidze Stylist: Cristina Andrade Stylist/Camera Assistant: Eleonora Kukuy Gaffer: Ethan Greenfield Grip/Camera Assistant: Tim Cianfano Special Thanks: Renato Tonelli Special Thanks: Peter Jackson Producer: Edel Gastard

behind the scenes