The Observer, Volume LV, Issue 23, 03/29/24

Observer The Case Western Reserve

President Kaler addresses SJP’s interim suspension, student involvement, future goals in open USG meeting

In light of recent tensions with the administration, President Eric Kaler’s appearance at the USG meeting on March 19 provided an opportunity for students to raise concerns regarding the controversial SJP suspension as well as CWRU’s plans for the future. Clay Preusch/The Observer

Téa Tamburo News Editor

Following the interim suspension of Case Western Reserve University’s chapter of Students for Justice in Palestine (SJP), President Eric Kaler addressed students’ concerns at the March 19 Undergraduate Student Government (USG) meeting via an open Q&A.

Regarding SJP’s interim suspension due to allegedly gluing flyers around campus and violating the Student Code of Conduct, Kaler emphasized that the Spirit Wall is solely for painting, though the interim suspension was because of SJP’s lack of response to the student conduct process.

“The content of what was on those paperings was not the reason why SJP was suspended. It was because of a lack of response from the individuals after we requested them to come in to talk about the issue at hand,” Kaler said. “The suspension doesn’t involve the issue of what was on the posters. It was a violation of our conduct code of how things could be posted. If a Jewish group did the same thing, gluing flyers to signs,

that group would be suspended as well. I don’t feel this is an uneven hand in any sense.”

According to Kaler, the “least destructive” action was to impose the interim suspension with the offer for SJP leaders to speak with the Office of Student Conduct about what happened.

“If we have a conversation, we understand what happened, responsibility is taken, then you don’t need a hearing,” he said, addressing students’ concerns about transparency in the conduct process.

Kaler also addressed transparency and accountability in the university’s operation as an entity.

“There is nothing more important to me than being transparent and accountable in the administrative operation of the university,” Kaler said. “As we manage the place the deans and vice presidents work together, we need to be transparent and we need to hold each other accountable.”

Faculty input is facilitated through the Faculty Senate that meets monthly with Kaler.

“The faculty view of the inner operations is really crystal-clear. The way that students see is through in-

teractions with the Office of Student Affairs and interactions with the student government and student leaders of the institution,” he said. “I have been at several places in my career ... and I believe this is a pretty highly transparent place to the degree that we can be legally and in terms of confidentiality.”

Kaler also addressed student involvement in university projects. Students are not currently involved in the AI Taskforce—a 30-person taskforce formed by Provost Joy K. Ward in partnership with the Faculty Senate—but might be later.

As part of a larger goal to expand research, Kaler hopes to spend $600 million in annual research expenditures. In the past three years, CWRU has spent $554 million. The university also will be hiring 100 new faculty members over the next four to five years, which he noted will increase the presence of on-campus research opportunities. A large portion of the current capital deployment is for the construction of the Interdisciplinary Science and Engineering (ISEB) Building.

“We wanted to create more research opportunities for student growth and increase those oppor-

tunities for student growth in research,” Kaler said when asked about student involvement in the ISEB. “I would say we did not consult very much with students about whether or not that was a good thing—we just all agreed it was.”

Regarding his short- and longerterm goals for the university, Kaler highlighted expanding CWRU’s research capacity and connecting with the local Cleveland community. CWRU recently expanded its Cleveland Scholars Program, so the cost of attendance will be covered for students in the Class of 2028 and onward who are accepted from East Cleveland school districts and city schools. The university is currently renovating former homes on Wade Park Avenue to build the Wade Park Community Engagement Center. For the incoming Class of 2028 and onward, CWRU expanded the class size to 1550 students, which Kaler said will be the carrying capacity once the new South Residential Village buildings are completed in August.

He said, “We are looking to elevate academic excellence, expand research enterprise and enhance communication with our neighbors and community.”

Remembering Nex Benedict: What the death of a non-binary teenager means to CWRU

Vigil held at CWRU to commemorate Benedict’s life

Gloria Liu Staff Writer

Zachary Treseler News Editor

Trigger Warning: Mentions of suicide

The death of Nex Benedict, a 16-year-old non-binary teenager, has captured national attention and fear, including at Case Western Reserve University, where a vigil was held by the LGBT Center on March 22.

On Feb. 8, Benedict, a sophomore from Owasso, Oklahoma, passed away from suicide by a drug overdose according to autopsy reports. On Feb. 7, Benedict visited the hospital after physical altercations were inflicted upon them by three students at Owasso High School.

On March 21, Stephen Kunzweiler, Tulsa County’s district attorney, ruled that no charges would be issued for Benedict’s death, adding that suiciderelated notes written by Benedict “[did] not make any reference to the earlier fight or difficulties at school … [but] the parents indicated that Benedict reported being picked upon for various reasons while at school.” Despite the outcome of the case, Benedict’s story has gained national attention and continues to affect students and faculty, including those at CWRU.

H. Michael Schwartz, a CWRU instructor and PhD student in organizational behavior who studies transgender experiences and organizations, noted how the story of Benedict was incredibly personal for them. They said, “The reason that the altercation happened with Nex was because these other people were making fun of how Nex was laughing … and I was stuck in my own high school, middle school experiences and people doing similar [things] where I wasn’t even aware of my own gender at that point.”

“We didn’t really have the words and contexts for [what] non-binary meant or what being outside of it meant. But all of the bullying was centered around it, most of it. [The incident] put me right back in that space, wondering: how are we actually protecting our children?” they commented regarding their childhood experience they had while they were Benedict’s age. “While microaggressions themselves are small, their impact is cumulative and it lasts … The type of bullying that Nex experienced, especially over time, is as traumatic as being shell-shocked in a war.”

The vigil was scheduled to be held at KSL Oval on March 22 from 5-6 p.m. However, due to the cold weather, the vigil was moved from KSL Oval into the LGBT Center’s Tinkham Veale University Center office, with about 15 students in attendance. It was a mostly silent affair, where students lit up small LED tea candles in jars while engaging in small side conversations. Student A, a graduate student who wished to remain anonymous, said, “I feel like there’s not enough space for queer grievances. For queer individuals … we’re united by the concept of the outsider, so we don’t have that kind of support and this is what leads to such little protests.”

Attendee Isaac, a second-year sociology student who wished to have his last name withheld, mentioned how

On March 22, the LGBT Center hosted a vigil for Nex Benedict. Their death spurred a wave of protests against anti-LGBT hate across the country. Joce Ortiz/The

Benedict’s story is not the first one for the LGBTQIA+ community. He said, “As a trans person, it’s not an entirely new story. We’re sort of always dealing with deaths in the community. I think what really struck me about this was just how young Nex was.” Highlighting how Benedict’s death has impacted him and his community, he stated, “We want to have the energy … be loud and raise our voices, but when stuff like this happens we just sort of get quiet and tired and sad. Maybe we just need to be alive and just focus on that, and so it’s tough to want to do more.”

Student B, a first-year student who attended the vigil as an ally, shared that “it felt so unimaginable to me that the authority figures of Owasso High School not only failed to appropriately respond to the situation … but that the school facilitated the homophobic environment for such a tragedy to occur. I felt a great sense of mourning for this wonderful, beautiful teenager who had been robbed of the magnificent life that was awaiting for them.”

Organizers from both inside and outside the CWRU community see Benedict’s suicide against the background of Oklahoma’s laws against transgender individuals, specifically minors. Oklahoma Governor John Kevin Stitt issued an executive order on Aug. 1, 2023, stating that the classification of “male” and “female” were strictly defined by one’s natural, biological reproductive organs.

Schwartz noted that these measures are not supportive for students who identify as LGBTQIA+. They said, “This is something we know specifically about Owasso as well because they’re kind of infamous in LGBTQ spaces for how they handle this sort of thing. We don’t have anything to protect our kids whatsoever.” Currently, the U.S. Department of Education’s Office for Civil Rights is investigating Benedict’s school district for Title IX violations.

While Benedict’s case takes place in Oklahoma, attendees at the vigil and Schwartz draw a comparison to legislation in Ohio and across the country. Student B also touched upon pertinent information regarding their experience and observations back home: “I come from the South, where my state officials are also enforcing similarly

violent, hateful legislature targeting queerness in schools. I know countless people who are actively being affected by such harmful bills, most prominently my sister and three cousins … [who] are currently in high school and identify as gay, queer and gender queer in various capacities … Nex is not so different from [them]. I don’t want to have to worry about my sister’s safety as they go to school because of the increasing levels of homophobia being encouraged by government officials.”

In December 2023, House Bill 68, which bars gender affirming care for minors and transgender women from playing on sports teams that match their gender identity, passed Ohio’s legislative process and becomes effective on April 24. Even though Ohio Governor Mike DeWine vetoed the bill, the Ohio General Assembly and Senate overturned the veto. Furthermore, for a period of time in early January, the state’s Department of Health and Department of Mental Health and Addiction Services were considering adding more requirements for adults seeking gender affirming care, which would mark Ohio as the first state to mandate such a move.

This is why many community members, including Schwartz, want CWRU to be more involved in Ohio’s legislative process for queer and trans students. They note that these policies don’t just impact CWRU but also the university’s ability to recruit students and become increasingly involved with the community. They said, “If we wanted to be leaders in some sort of way, if we wanted to show that this sort of thing is not acceptable at [CWRU], then why are we not organizing something around it either to support an initiative, something that is institutional, that is directed towards supporting trans students? If not at [CWRU], then in Ohio?”

Isaac, who works for the LGBT Center, said that if the center had more funding, their reach would be greater. Additionally, Isaac suggested expanding the gender-inclusive housing for first-year students, creating more gender-inclusive restrooms, making Diversity 360 more actionable for trans people and helping students know what resources are available.

Student B shares the sentiment. “CWRU as an institute should facilitate a safe space that is intolerant of all forms of homophobia and transphobia,” they said. “Trans students need to be acknowledged and have the right to feel safe at Case Western. We can not be complicit in this attack on certain people within our community simply because of their identity. It is more critical than ever to stand up for the marginalized queer communities around us.”

When asked to comment, the university disclosed, “As a nonprofit, taxexempt organization, [CWRU] must comply with a number of state and federal laws and regulations that prohibit its involvement in partisan political activity and impose some limits on our participation in issue advocacy.”

“However, [CWRU], in collaboration with its respective higher education associations, monitors and responds to legislative issues that impact the university. The university is committed to cultivating an inclusive and welcoming campus environment and supports the right of every faculty, staff and student member to advocate personally for or against legislation, including legislation concerning LGBTQ+ Protections,” reads the university’s statement.

Though, in comments to The Observer, there is an exception of organizations to engage in “issues of public policies” as “the LGBT Center continues to be a safe space and advocates for students in the LGBTQ community and allies.” The university highlights several programs, including TransAlly 101, Pronoun Workshop and Safe Zone [training] in addition to other groups, such as OTPOC and Gender Resistance.

Currently, CWRU has several LGBTQIA+ resources available for the university community in addition to the LGBT Center. University Health and Counseling Services provides gender-affirming care and group counseling sessions such as LGBTQ+ therapy and Trans and Gender-nonconforming. Additionally, the CWRU Pride LGBT Alumni Network connects students to those with similar experiences and fosters close community amidst one’s navigation of identity.

Observer

“Love is Blind” season six is bad reality TV at its finest

Shivangi Nanda Executive Editor

In the world of Tinder and Hinge where first-impressions reign supreme, many feel as though personality takes the backseat when entering the dating pool. Enter the reality dating show “Love is Blind,” which gets rid of the distractions by asking contestants to find their match sight unseen. After just 10 days of conversation, contestants must choose a partner based on their voice alone. Then, the—hopefully—happy couples are whisked off to meet the rest of their fellow contestants face-to-face on a luxury beach resort, with some wondering if their partner was really the best choice. But the real challenge begins once they return to the real world, as partners meet family members, reveal red flags and consider the possibility of a breakup more seriously. But if they do make it to the finish line, the couple is rewarded with a beautiful wedding and a happily ever after.

This past month, “Love is Blind” returned for its sixth season, promising another round of emotional rollercoasters and faceless connections, courtesy of the iconic isolation pods. And the contestants didn’t fail to deliver on the drama—with gold wine glasses in hand, this season’s contestants gave audience members love to root for and villains to jeer at. And, in typical “Love is Blind” fashion, we watched as couples shared their real lives together

Ariana

until they had to decide: Is love really blind?

This season’s contestants had all the classic tropes: the divorcée, the pretty girl, the muscular guy, the nerd, the one that has never been in a long-term relationship … the list goes on. Although a refreshing new perspective came from the single mom, Jess, who navigated love in the pods in a different way.

But as all fans know, love is only a fraction of the “Love is Blind” equation, and this season it felt like that fraction got even smaller. Contestants were faced with love triangles, cheating scares and emotional turmoil at every turn, with, shockingly, only one pair ending the season with “I do’s” at the altar.

One of the most memorable couples, Kenneth Gorham, a middle school principal, and Brittany Mills, a senior client partner, was one of the first to get engaged in the pods, bonding over their shared values and similar personalities. However, after leaving the pods it became clear that the two had different expectations for their future, with Kenneth being much too career-oriented for Brittany. The first to fold to realworld expectations, the pair decided to break off the engagement, prioritizing honesty over forced compatibility—a prime example of their maturity.

Jeramey Lutinski and Laura Dadisman faced troubles after their big reveal as well, but this time their relationship was tested by another contestant, Sarah Ann Bick. In the pods, Jeramey and Sarah Ann had a very close con-

Grande’s

nection, and even after choosing Laura, Sarah Ann and Jeramey stayed in contact. In the real world, one late night conversation Jeramey had in a bar parking lot with Sarah Ann had Laura questioning Jeramey’s commitment to their relationship. Unlike Kenneth and Brittany, Jeramey and Laura’s incompatibility was clear from the start, and their breakup shortly after did not come as much of a surprise.

Yet another couple that was unable to make it to the altar despite hitting it off in the pods were Chelsea Blackwell and Jimmy Presnell. As soon as they met face-to-face, it was evident that Jimmy felt blindsided by Chelsea’s description of herself after she famously stated that she looked like Megan Fox. But Jessica Vestal, Jimmy’s other strong suitor in the pods, seemed to steal Jimmy’s heart with both the personality and physical qualities he was looking for. Later in the real world, Jimmy continued to struggle with his decision to propose to Chelsea, constantly mocking her insecurities and need for attention. Just days before the wedding, Jimmy unsurprisingly called things off, and I think we can all agree it was for the best.

In the midst of romantic tribulations and disappointment, one couple made it to the end: Johnny McIntyre and Amy Cortés. From the pods it was evident that communication was their strong suit, and it only served to benefit them as they navigated the uncertainty of normal life together. Their genuine connection was unwavering, and their kiss at the altar was just the heartfelt moment audience members needed to round out an otherwise dramatic season.

“Love is Blind” season six is exactly what it sets out to be: over-the-top reality TV at its finest. Couples prove time and again that love is rarely found blind, but as audience members it’s hard not to want to believe in the premise. Even knowing that nearly all these couples will fall apart in their pursuit of marriage, we come back for entertainment and the hope that modern romance isn’t just superficial. So, if you’re looking for a quick dose of reality TV drama, season six might be a decent binge. But if you seek genuine emotional connections, I would swipe left on this one.

Clay Gravesande and AD Smith’s failed relationship was probably the hardest to watch. However, AD and Clay’s connection seemed promising. Their conversations flowed effortlessly, and Clay’s vulnerability about his upbringing resonated well with AD. But their troubles began in the real world when AD expressed concerns about Clay’s work-life balance, often feeling sidelined by his budding career. Clay’s family also played a role in the growing disconnect, with Clay’s mother questioning AD’s suitability as a lifelong partner. With AD being left alone at the altar, their story leaves a special lesson for all viewers: Even the strongest connections require open communication, understanding and a willingness to address concerns.

“eternal sunshine” gives a rather unique glow

Kethan Srinivasan Social Media Content Creator

Ariana Grande once stated that she would not begin recording until after the completion of filming for her role as Glinda in the acclaimed musical “Wicked.” For many of her most committed acolytes, the film has been a series of twists and turns that have left them craving an album stuffed with juicy lyricism. After witnessing a split from a longtime manager and a divorce—as well as a controversial and very questionable new romance—now Grande has blindsided us with her musical choices instead of her personal life choices in her latest LP.

The title of the album “eternal sunshine” is a direct reference to the 2004 film “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind,” in which a couple played by Jim Carrey and Kate Winslet elect to erase their memories of one another as a means of moving on. With this thirteen-track diary of an album, Grande ponders her feelings and the thoughts that plague her most. Soothing ballads are accompanied by tracks rife with acerbic commentary and an itch-scratching production, courtesy of collaborators such as Max Martin, Ilya Salmanzadeh and Shintaro Yasuda.

The album’s production is an amalgamation of pop and R&B, while also containing elements of synth, dance and house music—the last of which is most evident in the sharp-tongued “yes, and?” The rest of the album provides an assortment of brilliantly produced though lyrically incohesive songs. “intro (end of the world)” pleases with its muted guitar backtrack that

In her newest album “eternal sunshine,” Ariana Grande reflects on the thoughts and feelings that have been plaguing her, including those caused by her recent divorce. Courtesy of Republic Records

is reminiscent of “Pluto Projector” and its immediate transition to asking the important things, such as “How can I tell if I’m in the right relationship? / Aren’t you really supposed to know that shit? / Feel it in your bones and own that shit?”

The second track, “bye,” is a triumphant farewell to the marriage that Grande just questioned. She proceeds to poke at it even further on different tracks by calling it a situationship in “don’t wanna break up again” and al-

luding to infidelity in the eponymous “eternal sunshine.”

The lack of cohesiveness is apparent in the songs within the latter half of the album. Take “supernatural” and its lust-laden songwriting, for example. Despite having an admittedly catchy tune, it’s a jarring transition from the previous few tracks that ponder the aftermath of a freshly-cleaved marriage. Similar sentiments are reserved for tracks such as “true story,” “the boy is mine” and even the top pick of the

bunch, “we can’t be friends (wait for your love).”

Its lyrically-disjointed nature aside, the biggest aspect of the album that seems to be overlooked is the vocal maturity that Grande now possesses. This is a definite shift from the upper octave-heavy singing technique she demonstrated in her previous discography. There is a refreshingly warm and deep tone to her voice that luckily doesn’t sacrifice her vocal flexibility. The track “imperfect for you” is a perfect encapsulation of this change, giving Grande a newer, more sultry voice as she croons over her new love and the chat that surrounds it.

The album has also been accompanied by a “slightly deluxe” edition of the original album, which includes two re-recordings with features from Troye Sivan on “supernatural” and Mariah Carey and her equally triumphant vocals on “yes, and?” An acoustic version of “imperfect for you” further amplifies the warmth of its production despite the more stripped-back feel, though the same can’t be said for the “a cappella” rendition of “true story.”

Considering the overall trajectory Ariana Grande’s discography has taken, “eternal sunshine” demonstrates a marked improvement in her vocal skills and production since the fall from grace that was the transition between “thank u, next” and “positions.” Though it does not represent a full rebound, “eternal sunshine” has many musical and lyrical attributes that will bode well among listeners—unless knowing that some songs were written about a man who played Spongebob Squarepants thoroughly bothers you. Proceed with caution.

Shejuti Wahed Social Media Content Creator

As anticipation for the annual Springfest celebration crescendos, students across Case Western Reserve University’s campus gathered on Saturday, March 23 for a night of groovy tunes and musical competition. This year’s neon-themed Battle of the Bands was hosted at The Spot in Leutner Commons, a more cozy venue than previous years, which were held at The Jolly Scholar and Thwing Ballroom. Ten impressive student bands came together to compete for a chance to open for the Springfest headliner later this semester. Alongside many returning fan favorites, this year’s Battle of the Bands also featured several new groups that each delivered stellar performances.

DISHWASHER POSSUM

Dishwasher Possum was also a returning fan favorite, and their lead vocalist dazzled the audience as always. Their cover of a Backseat Lovers song was a surefire hit, and not a note was missed, much to the awe of audience members who had never been blessed by Dishwasher Possum’s presence before. The entire band’s chemistry was incredible, and I loved every second of their set.

EX/MAPLE, a long-time campus favorite, also returned to the Battle of the Bands stage. Over the years, their original songs have only grown in musicality. Even the instrumentals by themselves are beautiful tracks that you could listen to on repeat. Describing their genre as “indie rock but cooler,” EX/MAPLE and their style seemed to appeal to everyone, and quickly became one of the biggest highlights of the night.

EX/MAPLE PERFORMANCE ANXIETAE +ISO

The band that was born out of a lab, Performance Anxietae, brought their unique style to the stage. Their usual lead singer Adrian Palumbo was unable to make it that night, but nonetheless, the group killed it with their unique “fabloo” set, drawing inspiration from Tally Hall’s wonky rock style that defies categorization. Contrary to their name, which implies stage anxiety, the group’s confidence and lively spirit captivated the audience, and their cardboard cutout of their absent band member only added to their charm.

+lso catered to my music taste, playing one of my favorite songs, “Francis Forever” by Mitski. Putting my personal bias aside, however, their performance resonated with the entire audience—not just myself.

BANDS

Space Cadets returned to the stage to mesmerize us with their commanding stage presence once again. Their confidence and devotion to performing were incredible, and remained consistent throughout their entire performance. Drawing inspiration from a diverse range of artists, from Jimi Hendrix to Dominic Fike, these musical influences clearly shone through in Space Cadets’ strong performance.

SONS OF GREEK LOVE

Sons of Greek Love enthusiastically closed off the night with the perfect amount of energy. They opened for Waka Flocka Flame earlier in the fall, and only seem to have strengthened their musical identity since then. Their band demonstrated so much love for their fellow musicians, describing Dishwasher Possum as their dream band to open for. Their energy both off and on the stage was well-received by the students, and the crowd was left begging for an encore at the end of their performance.

MAXWELL CLARK

Maxwell Clark’s ukulele performance was filled with poignant, melancholy original songs—setting an intimate tone for the rest of the show. The room was hushed and full of admiration as the singer moved the audience with his evident love and appreciation for folk music. Clark discussed with The Observer the numerous wonderful music teachers and people that inspired the alternative folk style of music of the set. Although this was Clark’s first performance of this scale in six years, we were very impressed and fortunate to have him kick off the show.

No Pitches? was also one of my favorites, and they delivered a stunning performance once again. Their Battle of the Bands debut from the year before left the entire audience in awe with a beautiful violin solo during “I Know the End” by Phoebe Bridgers. This year, they kept up the Phoebe Bridgers theme by playing “Not Strong Enough” by boygenius. Their harmonies were exceptional, and the song lingered in my mind for the rest of the

SPACE KAYAK ATTACK!!!

Space Kayak Attack!!! took the stage and delivered what might have been one of the most memorable sets I have seen. Its members showcased fantastic musical versatility and talent, with one even bringing a talkbox on stage—what a unique instrument, and one I had never before seen in person. Their genre for Battle of the Bands was funk pop, so they played hits such as “24K Magic” by Bruno Mars and “Get Lucky” by Daft Punk. However, their passion seemed to extend to any genre of music, evident in their enthusiastic discussions about their upcoming musical projects. Their rendition of “Get Lucky” featured an acapella breakdown of the song, and they even snuck in part of the CWRU alma mater.

GREENHOUSE SPACE CADETS NO PITCHES?

Born out of a group of friends with a shared passion for performing, greenhouse had a wonderful time on stage, and everyone else enjoyed them as well.

Shortly after Battle of the Bands, the Springfest artist was announced as Bea Miller, a previous X Factor star and the singer of the TikTok popular song “feel something.” Many students expressed disappointment on the Springfest Instagram account, the most liked comment being “WHO???” Nevertheless, despite the overall negative reaction to the artist announcement, students had an exhilarating time at the Battle of the Bands event. And given the more-than-stellar performances at Battle of the Bands, surely Springfest will be well worth attending, if not for the invited artist but for the student bands themselves.

LAKE EFFECT

Lake Effect entered the stage with a roaring “Yeah!” After asserting their remarkable stage presence, they quickly launched into an electrifying performance. In their interviews with The Observer, the band members demonstrated that their humor extends beyond the stage—they named themselves after the local Cleveland weather, are planning for a world tour and seem to be some of the biggest Weezer fans I have ever met. Aside from their silliness, their energy was exceptional onstage, and I have high hopes for seeing them at Springfest 2024.

The five bonus “GUTS (spilled)” tracks redeem Olivia Rodrigo’s sophomore album

Kate Gordon Life Editor

I didn’t care for “GUTS” when it released back in September 2023. The second album from rising superstar Olivia Rodrigo, its rock songs were too Disney Channel-esque to be taken seriously, whereas its slower numbers weren’t different enough—or better than—those on Rodrigo’s debut “SOUR” to warrant more than a single listen. “GUTS” was fun and stylish, but not a whole lot else.

So it was much to my surprise that I ended up loving (most of) the five new songs released on the deluxe version of the album, “GUTS (spilled),” last Friday. Apart from “obsessed,” another pop punk-inspired track that feels like the natural twin of “bad idea right?,” the other four songs hint at new genres

and experiment with Rodrigo’s sound in a way that actually works. And “obsessed” isn’t even bad either—far from it. I find its melody catchier than some of Rodrigo’s other rock songs, such as “all-american bitch” and “ballad of a homeschool girl,” while still being angry and flippant and effortlessly cool. The song’s delayed release is definitely a shameless attempt to get Rodrigo back onto the top of the charts, but it’s so good that I can’t even be mad about it.

The next three tracks are a complete departure from the rest of “GUTS,” with clear folk influences and Rodrigo’s electric guitar switched out for an acoustic. The first track, “girl i’ve always been,” is full-on country, even featuring a fake accent reminiscent of Taylor Swift’s in her early years. Rodrigo manages to pull off the southern twang, keeping her album’s irate tone

even with a change in style.

The next track, “scared of my guitar,” is easily my favorite on the entire album. With a sparse, stripped back sound—it’s just Rodrigo and her guitar—she confesses that while she can lie to her lover, she cannot keep secrets from her guitar. It’s a raw and touching comparison, as well as creative— “scared of my guitar” really lets Rodrigo’s songwriting shine through. The song’s chorus is a good example: “I’m so scared of my guitar/If I play it, then I’ll think too hard/Once you let the thought in, then it’s already done/So I’ll lay in your arms and pretend that it’s love.”

Finally, Rodrigo ends the album with “stranger” and “so american.” The former continues the folksy theme of the previous two tracks, but unfortunately “stranger” is the most forgettable of the new additions. It’s nice,

Live from Cleveland, it’s “PTG Live”

Players’ Theatre Group (PTG), an entirely student-run organization at Case Western Reserve University, has been executing consistently remarkable productions this semester. Last Friday, PTG held a double feature of “Moose Murders” followed by “PTG Live”—the latter of which I was able to attend at the Maltz Performing Arts Center Jean Kalberer Black Box Theatre. It was the perfect end to an abnormally long week following spring break, exemplifying comedy, creativity and originality at its finest.

“PTG Live” was produced by secondyear computer science student Raaghuv Vazirani and featured Lake Effect during the intermission, a CWRU student band currently taking the campus by storm. The tech crew included firstyear Robbie Shepard, second-year Ian Jacobs and third-year Nolan Sayer.

The audience is introduced to the production through Lake Effect’s mellow, calming jazz music, with the saxophone’s strident tone resounding throughout the space. The surprise guest opener, CWRU faculty member Bernard Jim (otherwise known as Bernie), instantly filled the Black Box with his infectious energy. Bernie’s amusing spiels and honest lessons are valuable, and though he undermines his own comedic expertise, his monologue was quite impressive. Students can appreciate his authenticity, as he candidly states, “I’ve learned to assume a Case student is having a bad day, every day.”

The first skit, “Addiction Recovery” by Ave Tallarida, features the intentionally cringy interjections of Jeff (Vazirani) and feeble attempts to retain the professional atmosphere by the therapist (Sarah Roelle) during what was meant to be a support group meeting. The second, “Got Milk?” by Maanyav Gangaraj, serves as a canny rendition of sustainability initiatives. Instead of purchasing dairy alternatives such as oat milk, you can request fresh milk at the “Sustainability Sip” from any of the cows in the background—played by students—although they are amusingly sassy and even have the option to deny orders. What’s more, bartering is included as an option for payment.

In “Pelotron 3000” by Olivia Hovis, the audience find themselves immersed in an ad for exercise equipment, only the dialogue of the TV Overlord (Tabitha Raithel) is eerily concerning, as it reveals private information about Josh (Luke Adelman). Both actors play their parts flawlessly, highlighting

but not super different from her other ballads. On the other hand, “so american” may be the most unique track put out by Rodrigo yet. In a discography full of songs about hard breakups and bad boyfriends, “so american” is her first real love song. Most likely written about British actor Louis Partridge, Rodrigo returns to her pop roots as she sings, “When he laughs at all my jokes/ And he says I’m so American/Oh God, it’s just not fair of him/To make me feel this much.” Her joy is infectious, and you can tell that “so american” is the start of a new era for Rodrigo, musical or otherwise.

Even if her music isn’t to your personal taste, after listening to “GUTS (spilled)” there’s no questioning Rodrigo’s range or songwriting ability. If she continues to think outside the box, I’m sure that her third album will be the best we’ve seen from her yet.

how technology can be threatening. “Prospie Weekend” by Lisa O’Brien has Kristen (Tallarida) mentioning the snake pit “out the back’” nonstop, both frightening the facilitator, Kyle (Gangaraj), and intriguing the prospective students. For students at CWRU, the tour’s depiction is all too realistic, with the exception of the out-of-pocket questions current students can only wish they had asked.

As a parallel to the Weekend Update segment on “Saturday Night Live,” Mary Coulter takes the stage and presents “The Coultaire Report.” Their slides are humorously displayed by a projector held by club president Macy Dickerson, who was not aware they would be participating, onto white fabric held by other cast members. Updates included a new Chill Box to accompany Sears think[box], the Springfest opener announced as “Younger Sheldon” and iClickers available for purchase on Temu. Of course, a weekly snake pit update is also included. Coulter’s cleverness is clear as they seamlessly transition from slide to slide, perhaps performing even better than Colin Jost and Michael Che themselves.

For those familiar with the operations of theatre, “Tenorpocalypse” by Tallarida hits home. Robbie Shepherd plays the infamous “white male lead” who boasts of his admission into the New York University Tisch School of

the Arts, intimidating other cast members with his over-the-top confidence and god-complex behavior. Despite his “three-note range,” his suspicious success is to be feared, even as he skips off the stage and accidentally trips. “Grandma Grapple” by Ian Jacobs is a showdown between two elderly women: Josephine (Raithel) and Bertha (Margot McCann). They ridiculously fight for wooden nesting dolls and other tchotchkes, with Josephine throwing some of the goods on the ground and Bertha struggling to retaliate as her back restrains her.

In “The Mastermind” by Ethan Teel, Tallarida’s performance seriously stands out. They play Riley, one of the “friends” of the group who reveals during their hangout they’ve been “a social mastermind” all along, manipulating every single one of them to comply with their schemes. In reality, Riley desperately seeks to embody an invigorating, dubious persona and ends up “predicting” that all her friends leave. Their hilarious line, “I have you downloaded,” sums up Riley’s character well. The audience is then taken to the battlefield in “Troop Jester” by O’Brien, where General Gordon (Roelle) orders his soldiers to trudge on forward, remarking, “We are Americans … we don’t retreat, we just keep digging ourselves into bigger messes!” To help, General Gordon introduces the Troop Jester (O’Brien) who can make you laugh instantly by

humiliating the soldiers, spitting bars and enchanting everyone with her moves to “The

“Too Much Snow?” by Vazirani and Mattia Campioli requires no further explanation, especially since its elaboration would be improper for such a review. For many watching live, the analogy felt on point and, surprisingly, was a new one added to the books. The entire skit is obviously just about snow, of course. For the finale, “The Ultimate Bit” by Hovis takes us through Coulter’s particularly hysterical performance as Bartholomule who becomes possessed by the “Broadway devil,” requiring the intervention of the priest (Adelman) and ultimately the death of Bartholomule inflicted by his own mother, Martha (Raithel).

PTG extracts from the abundant talent on campus to provide audiences with a CWRU-themed “Saturday Night Live” episode. Though obtaining tickets for NBC’s own “Saturday Night Live” is rather difficult, PTG produces a seriously accessible and comparable, if not better, version. The skills and gifts students here have are boundless, as illuminated by the success of “PTG Live.” Watch out for PTG’s next productions, “Little Ordinary Things” running from April 5-7 and “Our Town” running from May 3-4, and, of course, be sure to support the many other student performance groups here on campus as well.

Gloria Liu Staff Writer

Left to right: Madeline Pollock, Tabitha Raithel, Luke Adelman and Ave Tallarida play a group of sassy cows and Taylor Bruno plays the shop owner at the “Sustainability Sip’’ in the skit “Got Milk?” by Maanyav Gangaraj.

Courtesy of Ashley Rosinski/Players’ Theatre Group

Harlem Shake.”

Cailtin Clark: We know her, we love her but we just can’t pay her

Salsabeel Salem Staff Writer

March Madness is upon us. With a projected rise in viewership for this year’s women’s tournament, all eyes are on star players Caitlin Clark and Paige Bueckers as their teams face off in the grueling battle to be named the NCAA Division I champion. Despite women’s basketball gaining traction in the public eye with both Clark and Bueckers making headlines, women’s basketball players are still not being equally compensated for their equal efforts. From being scrutinized by a largely male demographic to relying on brand deals to drive their salaries, women at the peak of their careers are just barely scraping by.

The largest source of disparity is the unequal salaries between WNBA players and NBA players. The average salary for a WNBA player in the 2023 season was $147,745, with rookies making at best around $75,000. Compare this to the men’s league where the average annual salary is over $10 million. Even the highest paid WNBA players have yet to see a $250,000 paycheck. This is a problem in that the alleged best women’s league in the country is not compensating their players to the extent of their equal male counterparts.

Because of this, WNBA players are forced to supplement their salaries in a number of ways, one being accruing brand deals. Through sponsorships with big companies like Nike and Adidas, players are able to supplement their income to support themselves and get them through the off-season. With the annual pay for a Nike athlete in the United States averaging $40,000, having even one sponsorship can greatly increase their quality of life. However, to acquire sponsor-

ships, these women have to maintain a larger public profile. For brands to notice them, they need to post more and generate more press coverage. Because women in the public eye are scrutinized more closely than men, adopting a larger social media presence can present its own battles.

Female athletes are often expected to fit an image of what an ideal athlete looks like: heterosexual, white and feminine. Because these standards do not accurately depict the diversity of all professional athletes, great players who fail to meet this criteria are not given adequate media coverage. This deprives them the opportunity to secure high-grossing brand deals and develop their public image. Nine-time WNBA All-Star Brittney Griner faced immense public scrutiny for being openly queer. Her college coach Kim Mulkey played a large role in keeping Griner in the shadows, which followed her throughout her professional career. This affected her ability to secure contracts with brands, even though she was one of the best players in the league.

Many WNBA players also find themselves playing year-round to further supplement their low salaries, however, at the increased risk of injury and longer periods of time away from family. Griner faced a security issue back in 2022 when traveling from Russia to the United States when the Russian government detained her for possession of marijuana. This was worrisome for Griner because she was traveling for work during the off-season. After spending almost 250 days behind bars, Griner was finally returned home, but this entire nightmare could have been avoided if WNBA players were simply better compensated.

Arguments that justify the pay discrepancies credit the lower viewer-

“Caitlin

ship, stating that “people don’t watch women’s basketball as much, so it’s not where the money is.” Though this may be true, this argument doesn’t consider that the WNBA is still a growing league. Founded 50 years after the NBA formed, the WNBA has not been around as long, and only has 12 teams compared to 30 teams in the NBA. And because there are more NBA teams, there are more NBA games to watch, which greatly increases their viewership. But there is also a stigma around women’s sports that additionally contributes to the lower WNBA viewership. Patriarchal standards reinforce an inaccurate perception of women being weaker and less athletic than men.

This is damaging as it prevents women from being accepted as equal athletes. These standards are still deeply rooted in today’s society as female athletes receive 10% of total media coverage despite representing over 40% of players. This disparity further contributes to the lower viewership and unequal salaries affecting today’s top athletes.

Ultimately, we must do better. As March Madness unfolds and star players Clark and Bueckers take center stage, let’s work to make a better league for these players to graduate into. With more equitable salaries and better representation, more girls can dream of a career on the court. Until then, go UConn!

Caitlin Clark, a leader in the WNBA, continues to be sidelined in the media and in the wallet, receiving a fraction of the compensation of equally talented NBA players

Clark Big Ten tournament (cropped)” by John Mac is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0

Finding meaning in the small moments

Editorial Board

The world can sometimes seem like a fraught place with mounting stress and anxiety attacking us from every angle. From ongoing global issues to grueling college schedules that leave you drained at the end of the week, it seems like there is never an end to worries. And, sometimes, these worries can drag you down, leaving you dizzied and confused about what to do next.

But how do you move forward? How do you find the motivation to keep going despite the chaotic state of the world? When you’re focused on such monumental questions as those, the answer is almost unobtainable, and that can leave you stuck even more. Perhaps in-

stead your focus should be more narrowed. Perhaps instead there is a wealth of meaning that can be found in the small parts of our lives.

A fun board game night with your friends or family, a small memory you just made with the people you care about the most, a stupid little joke you told that made everyone laugh—all of these might seem like small, trivial moments. But looking more deeply, we can begin to appreciate what these moments might really mean to us.

Most important are the small moments you share with the people you care about: your friends, family and even classmates. A small gettogether, such as simply grabbing some food or playing some songs you all love, can bring you together, even if for just a brief period

of time. In that moment, nothing matters more than the memories you’re making. Eventually, those small moments build up and can keep you moving forward.

There might also be truth to the importance of the small things. In fact, a recent study published in Nature Human Behavior suggests that those small, seemingly insignificant moments can have a tremendous impact on our search for meaning.

Moreover, as college students we might find ourselves stuck in the mindset that our college years need to be monumental and some of the best years of our lives. And when we graduate, we might think that we can’t get those years back. During those periods, try to reframe your perspective. College doesn’t have to involve weekend after weekend of

parties or some life-changing experiences. A board game night is just as worthwhile and can be just as meaningful. And if you’re spending that time with your friends or family, then you’ve made a memory. If it can get you through the day, or pick you up after a long week, you can appreciate those moments, whatever they may be.

So, what’s one small thing that you did today or one small memory that you shared with your loved ones that you can appreciate? How can you make more of those small memories? If you’re feeling lost or are finding it hard to keep your head up, think back on these questions. You might find that there’s more in your life to appreciate than you initially realized. And that’s enough of a reason to keep moving forward.

Clay Preusch/The Observer

LTTE: An open letter from CWRU Law Students for Justice in Palestine

CWRU Law Students for Justice in Palestine

Professor Adham Hassouna of Al-Aqsa University in Gaza. Professor Jihad Al-Masri of Al-Quds Open University in Gaza. Dean Ibrahim Alastal of the Islamic University in Gaza. Israeli airstrikes murdered these university professors and administrators and wiped their respective universities from Gaza’s lands. After anonymous individuals dared to compel the Case Western Reserve University community to remember their names by pasting them on campus buildings, CWRU imposed an interim suspension upon the undergraduate Students for Justice in Palestine (SJP).

The university’s reasoning, “to ensure the safety and well-being of members of the university community” and “to ensure the preservation

of University property,” only chills the growing support for Palestine by members of the university and extinguishes demands for the university to acknowledge its economic complicity in the genocide of Gaza.

As future lawyers, we will begin our law careers with a commitment to uphold a creed according to the Supreme Court of Ohio, vowing “to promote equality of all persons.” Our legal education encourages the consideration of every argument within a matter to combat biases limiting our perspectives. As future attorneys, it is our professional responsibility to advise against acting for an improper purpose, such as making frivolous claims that disregard the merits of one’s own arguments or engaging in conduct with the intention to chill future protected activity. Unfortunately, CWRU has engaged in this egregious conduct. If it can mistreat any student undeterred,

none of us are safe.

University administrations have rarely pushed the advancement of civil liberties and academic freedom nor steered the moral crises of the present moment. When threatened, universities have prioritized donor interests over dissenting, outspoken students like clockwork. From the vilification of New York University law student Ryna Workman, to the suspension of Columbia University’s chapters for Jewish Voice for Peace and SJP, universities have branded themselves as inclusive while simultaneously ignoring demands to make the systemic changes necessary to accommodate a diverse student body. The role of the university is to promote learning across political differences and to protect the right to protest and dissent without fear of repression. Instead, CWRU has sided against Palestinian students and their allies in favor of

backing the powerful donors who support the genocide of Palestinians in Gaza.

Palestine is the litmus test that CWRU administration and faculty can no longer ignore. The university community must prioritize student well-being and academic freedom and demand its reinstatement.

Signed, Law Students for Justice in Palestine (LSJP)

Refugee Outreach Collective (ROC)

National Lawyers’ Guild (NLG)

Law and Political Economy Society (LPES)

Labor and Employment Law Society (LELS)

Laughter is the best medicine: Why every CWRU student should attend stand-up comedy shows

Shivangi Nanda Executive Editor

After spring break, college can feel like a whirlwind of never-ending assignments and responsibilities. While going out with friends or watching a movie can be a good way to let go, ever consider going to a stand-up comedy show? With the University Program Board’s spring comedian coming up, let me tell you why every Case Western Reserve University student should attend a comedy show at least once in their academic career.

We know college life is notorious for its demanding schedule, tight deadlines and the pressure to perform academically. The weight of these expectations can often take a toll on students’ mental health and overall well-being. Laughter, as they say, can truly be the best medicine. Attending a stand-up comedy show provides a much-needed escape from school, offering a chance to share in the collective joy of laughter and lighthearted fun with friends. Sources show that endorphins triggered by laughter not only reduces stress but also contributes to an overall improvement in mood and mental well-being.

And if the clinical benefits aren’t enough to persuade you, attending a comedy show can also incite feelings of community and togetherness. Especially at academicallyfocused schools like CWRU, college can be a lonely place. Stand-up comedy shows are communal spaces where individuals from diverse backgrounds can come together to

share in the hilarity of a good comedian. Laughter has a unique ability to break down social barriers, fostering connections between students and community members who may otherwise never interact. Relatable jokes about bad dates, strict parents or the struggle to become a functional adult can create a sense of shared experience and camaraderie. Seeing others laugh

at things we can relate to can be strangely comforting, reminding us that we’re not alone in our quirks. There are several comedians who will take this feeling a step further, joining in with the audience and making them a part of the set—it’s the one time being picked on is a good thing. When it comes to content, standup comedy can be so much more

Courtesy of University Program Board

than a slew of well-timed quips. The best stand-up comedians often touch upon a wide range of topics, from personal anecdotes to societal issues. In doing so, they can expose you to diverse perspectives and engage with you about issues you may not have known about otherwise. In this way, comedy becomes a medium for cultural exposure, forcing you to get out of your comfort zone. And comedians have the unique ability to address sensitive topics with humor, opening up a safe zone for discussion.

Still, arguably the best reason to go to a comedy show is to simply enjoy the absurdity of life and everyone’s life journey. Life is inherently uncertain, and the ability to navigate ambiguity is something we all have to learn to accept. Stand-up comedians often draw humor from their personal experiences, teaching audiences to embrace the unpredictability, uncertainty and beauty of a chaotic life. As college students, we sometimes get lost in the weeds of letdowns, but stand-up comedy truly shows you how bad experiences make the best stories. If nothing else, attend a comedy show to learn about the resilience and adaptability of the human experience—qualities that are essential for success in academic, social and professional pursuits.

For CWRU students caught in the wheel of routine, a night of laughter can be an unforgettable experience. So, consider getting a ticket to see Matteo Lane in Severance Hall this Friday—it might just be the laughter you didn’t know you needed.

Baseball sweeps UChicago for perfect post-spring break start

Case Western Reserve University’s men’s baseball team has started off their series play with a sweep of the University of Chicago, improving to 14-5 for the season and extending their win streak to six games. This fantastic post-spring break run could not have come at a better time as the Spartans made good use of this 4-game stretch to prepare for the upcoming four-game series against UAA teams. For the cherry on top, the victory in the third game gave Head Coach Matt Englander his 400th career win. In his 18-year career at CWRU, Coach Englander holds a 401-280-2 overall record for a .588 winning percentage and already holds the most wins in program history by a head coach.

The Maroons were the first to strike in Game 1 on March 23, taking a 1-0 lead at the top of the third. In the next inning, graduate student first baseman Dane Camphausen stole second base on a missed pitch before tying the game following a one-out single from graduate student left fielder Franco Alonso. CWRU took the 2-1 lead after third-year outfielder Logan Andreyko scored on a two-out single from graduate student third baseman James Powers.

On the defensive end, fourth-year pitcher Reece Marley allowed a run in five innings while fourth-year pitcher Tyler Horvath clinched the game after retiring three straight UChicago batters in the sixth before holding the Maroons scoreless in the seventh. The Spartans took the series opening win 2-1.

The Spartans came out of the gate swinging in Game 2, building a quick four-run lead in the first inning. Thirdyear right fielder Nick Harms hit a ground ball, allowing graduate student catcher Jack Anderson to score the first run. Camphausen’s double allowed Powers to score and a base hit by fourth-year designated hitter Zack Carinci brought Harms and Camphausen home to take the 4-0 lead. CWRU scored a pair of runs in the second inning from Andreyko and Harms and a single run in the fourth from Harms for the chokehold 7-0 advantage.

The Maroons found life in the fifth, scoring 2 runs in both the fifth and sixth innings to cut it to 7-4. The Spartans looked like they were in trouble as UChicago loaded the bases with a pair

of outs in the top of the sixth. First-year pitcher Zach Barnes ended that potential tie with a strikeout to end the inning. In the seventh, the Maroons once again had two bases loaded for another tie scenario, but Anderson forced a pop-up and struck out two batters to secure the 7-4 win. Anderson recorded his third save of the season and also went 2-of-3 with a triple and run. Andreyko also went 2-for-3 with 2 runs.

The next day, the Spartans opened Game 3 with a 1-0 lead in the bottom of the second following a two-out RBI single from fourth-year center fielder Connor Stephenson. UChicago responded with two runs in the third, but CWRU answered with a two-RBI single by Camphausen to score Powers and Harms for the 3-2 Spartan

lead. After the Maroons tied it in the next inning, CWRU answered in the fifth inning with singles from Anderson and Powers. Anderson then took advantage of a wild pitch to score from third base while Powers hit home plate right after a sacrifice fly by Harms. In the sixth, fourth-year shortstop Grant Price scored on a single from Anderson to push the game to the eventual final score of 6-3.

The true star of the show was second-year pitcher Archer Stankowski, who played the first eight innings and held the Maroons to 3 runs on 7 hits and a walk. His 13 strikeouts were a career-high and also tied the secondmost in a single game in program history. Stankowski was one shy of the program record set by first-year pitcher Quinn Saunders earlier this month. Stankowski lowered his ERA to 3.12 and holds a 3-1 record.

After an early Maroon run in the first and second innings of Game 4, the Spartans answered with 4 runs in the bottom of the second to essentially seal the series sweep. Camphausen, Alonso and Price contributed to the scoring bonanza before Camphausen hit his fifth home run of the season in the third inning to put CWRU ahead 6-2. First-year pitcher Tyler Stillson held UChicago scoreless in the third and fourth innings with 2 runs allowed on 5 hits and 3 walks.

The Spartans will now travel to Atlanta to take on Emory University in a four-game series. They will play Game 1 on March 29, Games 2 and 3 on March 30 and Game 4 on March 31. The following weekend, CWRU will return home to host Brandeis University at Nobby’s Ballpark for four games from April 5-7.

Swimming and diving break school records at NCAA Championships

Darcy Chew Copy Editor

This past weekend, Case Western Reserve University’s swimming and diving teams traveled to Greensboro, North Carolina for the 2024 NCAA Championships. The championships, which occurred from March 20 to March 23, gave the Spartans bright lights and a grand stage to notch numerous achievements with 11 total athletes receiving All-America honors, matching a program record from 2002 and 2001.

Among the athletes who received such honors was celebrated thirdyear diver Abigail Wilkov. This past season has been incredibly fruitful for Wilkov as she improved upon her own school records for both the 1- and 3-meter dives and became the first Spartan to score over 500 points in the 11-dive versions during the meet against Kenyon College. During the NCAA Championship, Wilkov placed sixth in the 3-meter with a score of 469.70 and seventh in the 1-meter with a score of 435.05. During the preliminary heats, she placed third and second, respectively. Her sixth place finish was also recorded as the highest Spartan finish in a diving event, besting her own record of sev-

enth place in 2022.

“It is so special to have placed the highest for a Spartan. My freshman year, I came in 7th, and then last year I didn’t make A finals but came in 10th after the consolation final. To come in 6th place on 3 meter this year was really exciting personally, and as a part of CWRU. It is so special representing CWRU and to be setting new records for the school,” Wilkov commented on her achievement.

Second-year Claire Kozma received five All-America honors for her outstanding performance, the second highest number achieved by a Spartan in a single competition. Kozma competed in a total of seven events and for her individual events placed 30th, 28th and tenth in the 100 freestyle, 100 and 200 butterfly with times of 51.68, 56.15 and 2:04.42, respectively. Four of the seven events were relays which all placed at or above 16th, earning four All-America honor titles for her and her teammates. These races included the 200 freestyle relay with third-years Gabriella Chambers, Kelly Vann and second-year Eliza Dixon, the 400 medley relay with Chambers, and third-years Erica Rice and Kate Menzer, the 800 freestyle relay with Chambers, third-year Angeli Paull and first-year Maggie Rose Rook, and the 400 freestyle relay

with Chambers, Menzer and Paull. The 200 freestyle, 400 medley, 700 freestyle and 400 freestyle finished eighth (1:34.08), 16th (3:50.59), 14th (7:34.27) and 13th (3:27.12). Among those relays, two school records were also set with the 200 freestyle relay team finishing the preliminary heats in 1:33.86 seconds and the 400 freestyle relay team beating their own record of 3:27.49 set earlier this year at the Total Performance Invitational.

Kozma commented on her favorite part of the meet, describing the atmosphere during the 200 freestyle relay: “There are so many, but it was probably our 200 free relay that got 8th, we were in the final heat, there was music. We were in the edge lane, so our team was all behind our block and our family was going wild in the stands. We had no expectations, it was just an amazing experience.“

On the men’s team, the Spartans saw an impressive individual performance from third-year Peter Meng who achieved an All-America honors and an All-America honorable mention, making him the first male Spartan to receive multiple All-America honors at the same championship since 2017’s two-time honoree Drew Hamilton and the first CWRU male swimmer with a podium place since 2006.

During the 400 individual medley, not only did Meng place seventh, the highest placing for male Spartans since 2006, but he also set the school record with a time of 3:53.35 during the preliminary heats.

“Not only does it feel good to place higher than I expected but I am also very happy to see how far I’ve come during my time on the [CWRU] swim team. Similarly, I was very proud of my performance in my time trial, earning my first US Open qualification, and I am excited for the opportunity to compete there in December this year,” Meng said.

Despite the end of the 2023-2024 swim and dive season, Meng looks forward to the next season, mentioning how he will continue to strive for personal growth, a sentiment shared by the team.

“The sense of accomplishment has never gotten old for me, and being able to watch myself improve is one of the greatest feelings. While I am certainly very happy with my achievements thus far, I think I still have room to improve and hopefully achieve even greater success in the future. As the sport of swimming keeps evolving and getting faster, I just hope I can put up a time that will last as long as possible before it inevitably gets taken down,” Meng said.

CWRU men’s baseball team maintains a six-game win streak following their victories against UChicago. Courtesy of Tim Phillis/CWRU Athletics

Sweat and steroids: CWRU athletic director in hot water over performance-enhancing scandal

Design

In a shocking turn of events, the prestigious Case Western Reserve University finds itself embroiled in a scandal of Olympic proportions. The esteemed athletic director, whose name stands synonymous with integrity and fair play, has been caught in the midst of a performance-enhancing drug distribution scandal that has sent shockwaves through the university.

The decision by the NCAA to launch an investigation into the CWRU Department of Physical Education and Athletics stemmed from the unprecedented success of CWRU’s sports teams during this past winter season. CWRU, known more for their lab coats than jerseys, suddenly had teams breaking records like they were equations waiting to be solved. When the men’s basketball team arrived at the NCAA Championships, it was as if they crashlanded from Mars. The referee had to do a double take and considered checking his prescription because surely this couldn’t be the same school where the biggest sport was competitive chess. The sudden and suspiciously remarkable performance of CWRU’s athletes caused concern within the collegiate sports community, prompting NCAA President Charlie Baker to launch a thorough investigation into this March Madness.

Unbeknownst to many, the university’s athletic department faced imminent closure if it failed to achieve significant success this semester. Allegedly, the administration threatened to redirect the department’s funding toward the construction of new dormitories to accommodate the influx of students, effectively relegating CWRU athletics to the sidelines. The NCAA investigation revealed that, faced with this dire predicament, the athletic director concocted a scheme to administer performance-enhancing substances to athletes under the guise of “supplements.” This clandestine operation was aimed to boost the success of the university’s teams, but what began as a desperate attempt to save the athletic department from impending doom quickly spiraled into catastrophe. The surreal sight of over-caffeinated athletes bouncing off the walls with unnatural vigor raised eyebrows among athletes, spectators and officials alike. During the investigation, one brave member of Carnegie Mellon University men’s basketball team came forward to share his survivor experience.

up on me like a bad hangover. It wasn’t just the vibes or the pressure to ball out, it was this gut feeling … borderline primal instinct, like I was facing off against some sort of monsters. These Case Western dudes were on another level, man. They were moving like lightning. It felt like I wasn’t just playing ball; I was in some kind of survival game. I wasn’t sure if we were gonna make it out alive. Looking back, it wasn’t just the game on the line—it was our lives,” he said.

The investigation uncovered the meticulous planning and calculated maneuvering orchestrated by the embattled athletic director. Like a puppet master pulling the strings from the shadows, he operated with a level of cunning and ruthlessness that left even seasoned observers stunned. From covert meetings in dimly lit frat basements to encrypted Yik Yak channels, every aspect of the director’s scheme was carefully choreographed with the precision of a master tactician. Like a modern-day Don Corleone, he commanded the loyalty and obedience of those under his sway, brooking no dissent or deviation from his grand design.

“

The athletic director concocted a scheme to administer performance-enhancing substances to athletes under the guise of ‘supplements.’

As officials dug deeper, a labyrinthine network of connections and alliances stretching from the highest echelons of the university administration to the shadowy underworld of performance-enhancing drugs was brought to light. Through a web of favors, bribes and backroom deals, the athletic director secured access to a vast array of illicit substances, which he then distributed to unknowing athletes. He wasn’t just peddling any substances either. In the words of Baker, “he was running a speakeasy for athletes, serving up cocktails of questionable legality and undeniable effectiveness.”

Sources within the department share the apprehension among coaches, trainers and staff who were privy to the covert drug delivery. While some voiced concerns about the legality of distributing performance-enhancing drugs to unknowing student-athletes, others remained silent and none expressed feelings of ethical wrongdoing. The decision to turn a blind eye to the athletic director’s actions was born out of a desperate desire to safeguard the future of CWRU’s sports programs. In their eyes, the ends justified the means.

“We knew it was wrong, but what choice did we have?” admitted another staff member. “If we didn’t go along with it, the department would be shut down, and we would all lose our jobs or worse … become full time PE professors. We were backed into a corner.”

cameras zoomed in on his increasingly sweaty brow, Kaler’s demeanor took a turn for the absurd.

In a moment that will live on in infamy, he launched into an impromptu rendition of “Cocaine Blues,” complete with off-key vocals and awkward dance moves. As reporters exchanged incredulous glances and students watched in bewildered amusement, Kaler seemed blissfully unaware of the spectacle he was unwittingly creating.

“As our game got heated, I, a baller, couldn’t shake this crazy fear creeping

The athletic director’s elaborate scheme to surreptitiously administer performance-enhancing drugs to CWRU athletes was a meticulously planned operation that unfolded with sinister precision. Leveraging his authority and influence within the athletic department, he meticulously orchestrated a series of maneuvers designed to deceive even the most discerning of CWRU athletes. In the words of the athletic director, “I was almost a sort of nutrition guru, concocting the elixir of champions.” The illicit drugs were disguised as protein shakes, but, if we’re being honest, if these athletes were chugging down a “protein shake” that tasted like it was brewed in a frat basement, they might want to reconsider their life choices.

Scores and Upcoming Games

Students and faculty alike are reeling from the revelation, with reactions ranging from disbelief to uproarious laughter. “I always suspected something fishy was going on,” remarked professor of medicinal chemistry Anna Bol, shaking her head in disbelief, “I just can’t believe someone cared enough to uncover this mess.”

In the wake of the shocking revelations surrounding the athletic director’s scandalous behavior, CWRU’s response, or lack thereof, has left many questioning the competence and leadership of President Eric Kaler. As the scandal continues to unravel, Kaler’s handling of the crisis has been characterized by a series of missteps, blunders and tone-deaf statements that have only served to exacerbate the situation.

When NCAA lawyers originally reached out to the Office of the President regarding the investigation, they were flabbergasted by the response they received. With no opening or closing statements, Kaler’s secretary simply attached a selfie of her making a whining face while Kaler peeled glue off of some sort of Spirit Wall in the background.

One particularly bizarre incident occurred during a routine press conference, where Kaler attempted to reassure the public with a display of unwavering confidence. However, as the questions grew more probing and the

During an Undergraduate Student Government town hall, Kaler reportedly embarked on a rambling monologue about the existential meaning of life and the philosophical implications of collegiate sports scandals. As bewildered trustees looked on in bemusement, Kaler waxed poetic about the interconnectedness of all things and the futility of human endeavor, leaving many wondering if he had lost his grip on reality altogether. Kaler even went so far as to suggest that if CWRU athletes choose to run instead of scooter to class, they would have no need for performance enhancing drugs.

Perhaps the most surreal moment of all came when Kaler was caught on camera engaging in a heated argument with a life-sized cardboard cutout of himself. Witnesses reported seeing him gesticulating wildly and shouting incomprehensible phrases at the inanimate object, promptin g concerns about his mental well-being among university staff.

Meanwhile, rumors swirl about Kaler’s increasingly bizarre behavior behind closed doors—from pacing the halls of the administration building muttering to himself incoherently to reportedly seeking solace in the comforting embrace of his office fern, it seemed as though he’s lost touch with reality altogether.

As the scandal continues to unfold and the university grapples with the fallout, one thing has become abundantly clear—Kaler’s response has only deepened the sense of crisis and uncertainty gripping the CWRU community. In a time of crisis, true leadership is measured not by words but by actions—and by that measure, Kaler has failed spectacularly.

This is satire. April Fools!

Auden Koetters Director of

Auden Koetters/The Observer