11 november

11 November 2015

Published every Wednesday by CXpress 2006 (Pty) Ltd - PO Box 1449, Plettenberg Bay 6600 - 6 Park Lane, Plettenberg Bay - Tel: 044 533 1004 - Fax: 044 533 0852 Email: editor@cxpress.co.za / advertising@cxpress.co.za Web page: www.cxpress.co.za Printed by Group Editors

FREE Photo: Peter Chadwick

Take a hike Subsequent to recent heavy rainfall, SANParks rangers patrolled hiking trails throughout Garden Route National Park as part of an assessment before reopening them in time for last Saturday’s Fun MTB race and launch of the Graspad cycling trail.

Rangers checked for windfalls, uprooted trees and river stream crossings, but declared all trails open late last week, so you have no reason not to get out there and beat the track… before seasonal visitors beat you to it!

Bye bye bonny Croatia p2

’Crooks’ plague Plett school p3

Braving the wild Brazilian jungle p12

10 000 FREE COPIES OF CXPRESS DISTRIBUTED ALONG THE GARDEN ROUTE EVERY WEDNESDAY

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CXPRESS

News & Views

11 November 2015

Jeeves’ Travels - Final

Final vignettes from Hrvatska (that’s Croatian for Croatia, ok?)

JEEVES concludes his Croatian tale with a ‘guest author’ contribution to boot - turn to p.2 of the Oct 7, 14, 21 and Nov 4 editions at www.cxpress.co.za to peruse the prequels little house, at left, in the square opposite where I was staying in Lovran - the coastal town in Croatia, between Rijeka and Pula, that I called ‘home’ for some weeks recently - was all locked up, shutters closed, a sign that no one was staying there.

A few weeks later I happened to notice that a section of the slats in one of the ground-floor shutters was slightly ajar. Later in passing by I stopped to have a closer look - a window was slightly ajar.

Strange... obviously someone was there.

Suddenly, out rang the crisp, clear sound of a kitten mewing inside. I beckoned my friend to come and listen. “That’s no cat!” she exclaimed. “It’s a newborn baby!”

That really got our interest going, and speculation was rife. Our char advised that an old lady lived there, a recluse, who was rarely seen. She discussed the matter with a few locals and they went and knocked on the door.

It must be a safe house for child-trafficking, someone suggested. Maybe a refugee family had arrived and were sheltering there (30,000 having crossed the border a few days earlier from Serbia)?

After an hour, they emerged and informed us and some curious bystanders that the old lady’s teenage granddaughter, who was pregnant, had been sent down by her parents from their home in the mountains in order to have the baby - hopefully avoiding a scandal in their village, as no one there knew she was expecting!

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SHUT UP: Great was our surprise when a meow-like sound was emitted from this little house in the square with locked front door and tight-closed shutters

Jeeves... looking in from the outside So Jeeves decided to take me on a boat trip. No, it wasn’t called ‘Boat is Boat’...

Not knowing if I had sea legs, it was with some trepidation that I agreed - if only the Dutch tour group on board knew what was in store!

The wine and slivovitz

JOLLY INDEED: Jeeves and the captain, at right, swap war stories while Skipper-for-a-day Captain Mo, below, try finding Direction Lovran, and the jolly Dutch tour group, bottom, sing and dance to squash box tunes

were flowing, the squash box was playing, and the boat lived up to its name: ‘The Jolly Roger’!

Musical instruments appeared from the bridge and to much hilarity, the singing and dancing began.

The dishy captain and Jeeves, at left, disappeared to the deck in front of the bridge and so I, below left, took the helm as the only sober passenger on board.

Where is Lovran…?

When found, the two culprits were discussing an awesome journey schlepping ‘Boat is Boat’ through Africa to Spain.

The captain said he had a big gun!

Captain Mo Skipper-for-a-day…

Start of the refugee tsunami People in Croatia are generally poor. But they enjoy a marvellous, laid-back, happy, secure way of life.

The wave of wretched refugees from all over the trouble spots were beginning to cross into the country from Serbia.

At first there were 600, then 8,000, and finally 30,000. The government agreed 6,000 could remain; as there was nothing to offer them, the rest had no choice but to transit through to Austria, Germany, Switzerland and beyond.

The news broke in a newspaper, see below, I was picture-reading in a coffee shop. I was in the north, and this was taking place in the southwest of the country. It was time to come home…

PRESSING MATTERS: This late-September cover of a local paper announced the early extent of the refugee influx

News & Views

11 November 2015

CXPRESS

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Plett Secondary School parents ‘gatvol’ of crime and intimidation Shouting ‘Amandla!’ parents and pupils gathered at Plett Secondary School after a meeting on Monday with representative of the Western Cape Education Department, wanting action in the face of escalating crime and threats to safety at the school after a teacher was assaulted in his classroom last week - NIKKI RIDLEY reports

Principle Bouwers declared absolutely not, and that the school had a code of conduct that precluded sporting adult facial hair.

However, restricted by WCED rules regarding communication with the press, Bouwers declined to

‘OUR CHILDREN ARE PLETT’S FUTURE: Parents asked, ‘When is something going to be done?

What if a child dies tomorrow? When will a parent have to collect a body?’

NGRY parents gathered at Plettenberg Bay Secondary School on Monday November 9 to demand decisive action from the school governing body and the Western Cape Education Department (WCED).

The meeting with parents, teachers and the WCED Circuit Four Team manager for Plett and Knysna schools comes in the wake of what many parents say has been years of “on-going incidents of intimidation, assault, drug dealing and molestation occurring daily”.

Statements to CXPRESS from parents indicated increasing levels of criminal behaviour on the school grounds, with multiple incidents per day, perpetrated by both outsiders and expupils who gain access to the school through broken fencing and then “blend in” by wearing school uniforms as well “accomplice” pupils who deal drugs on the school grounds.

One parent said that her 13-year-old daughter was molested and robbed at knifepoint last year; another that her 15-year-old son had been robbed at knifepoint three times this year.

“How can we expect our children to get an educa-

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tion when they are being molested, robbed and assaulted on a daily basis?” said one parent.

“We demand an immediate plan of action to address the safety issues in this school. Our children are afraid to come to school. Even the teachers are afraid to come to school to teach now. Thugs and drug dealers have open access to the school because of the broken fencing; they even come in with their pit bull dogs to intimidate our children.

“We are asking the Department to act now, and to come up with a plan for immediate security measures such as policing the fence until a new fence is put up. We want visible policing, and we want our children and their teachers to be safe.”

Other demands include a gatekeeper and security cameras, “some form of student identification”, and a reduction in the size of the schoolyard “so that the children can be more easily observed”.

Several parents said that children are too afraid to report incidents to teachers or to the police because “the thugs threaten to stab them”.

One 14-year-old pupil said his life had been threatened after he told police the names of some of those dealing drugs, that they had threatened to stab him and chased him on his way to school that morning, but that he “managed to run away”.

Another parent said that the problem was so bad that “thugs” had been seen on the school grounds during the meeting, and that there had also been an attempted cell phone robbery in front of the school administration building doors while the meeting was taking place - a claim corroborated by many of the pupils and parents gathered to make statements and provide photos for CXPRESS. Shortly after the crowd disbursed to go home, and while the school’s principle, teachers and WCED Circuit Team manager were closeted in a second meeting, two men with full beards, wearing beanie caps and dirty-looking school uniforms met up with a pupil in front of the administration building who called them over, saying: “Daai anties is nou weg.”

On later being questioned as to whether pupils were permitted to wear beards,

make any statements or give any further information.

Teachers approached at the school were also reluctant to make any statements.

But one staff member, who wishes to remain anonymous, confirmed that the teacher who was assaulted in his classroom had been subject to threats from his assailants in the past.

“The school pupils and teachers are at constant risk from crooks and drug dealers on the school grounds.

Most are students or former students who have dropped

out. They are opportunists.

“The learners are robbed daily and bullied by these people, and they are afraid to report them, because they are threatened. The teachers are cursed, threatened and their cars broken into or damaged.”

The teacher added that they had reported incidents to the WCED before, but that nothing had been done to date, the response until now being the WCED wanting to know what the school itself was doing to curb the problems.

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CXPRESS

News & Views

11 November 2015

Denneoord dad’s charge list off the charts with allegations of rape and child pornography The George father accused of sex crimes against seven young children briefly appeared in the Thembalethu Regional Court on Monday, where it came to light that he is facing more than 3,000 charges ranging from rape to creating child pornography YOLANDÉ STANDER reports HARGES against the 41-year-old man, who cannot be named until he has pleaded, stems from several incidents during sleepovers at his home between 2012 and 2014.

According to police reports, the Denneoord resident allegedly drugged seven of his 12-year-old daughter’s friends - some as young as 10 years old before raping them, taking naked photographs of the

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children and sexually assaulting them.

He was arrested by the George Family violence, Child protection and Sexual offences (FCS) unit on November 27 last year after abuse claims surfaced.

Police say that during the sleepovers the accused allegedly administered pills to the girls which resulted in them losing consciousness, before allegedly committing the crimes.

Initially police reports suggested that his daughter was one of the victims, but during the court proceedings it came to light that she is not.

On October 29 last year, police searched the man’s home and confiscated his computers, camera and cellphone which was sent for analysis. He was subsequently arrested less than a month later.

The charge sheet, which

was recently finalised, revealed yesterday that the accused is facing 3,133 charges ranging from rape and sexual molestation to the creation and possession of child pornography.

The matter was postponed until November 16 for a trial date to be arranged. The accused, who turned down the option of applying for bail after his arrest, remains in custody until his next court appearance.

Plettenberg Bay sex-crime cases postponed WO Plettenberg Bay residents had brief court sessions last week on charges involving sex crimes against children.

On Thursday November 5, the well-known local teacher accused of sexually assaulting a 10-year-old boy student of his earlier this year took his place in the dock, but the matter was postponed until

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Monday November 23 for a regional court date to be established.

The case is expected to be transferred to the Knysna Regional Court and his bail was extended.

The 42-year-old teacher was arrested by the George Family violence, Child protection and Sexual offence (FCS) unit after the boy’s guardian reported the al-

leged incidents to the local police.

On Wednesday November 4 the Plettenberg Bay computer engineer with alleged links to a horrific international child pornography network was scheduled to take his place in the Knysna Regional Court dock, but failed to show up.

His lawyer, Carl Jeppe, informed the court that his client was not present as he had been “confused” over the date and was under the impression that his next appearance was only on the next day.

A warrant for his arrest was issued, but it will be held over to his next appearance. The matter was postponed to Wednesday December 2 for plea and sentencing negotiations.

The 37-year-old, who cannot be named until he has pleaded, was arrested during a raid on his home on January 13 after a lengthy investigation by South African and Belgian police.

The bust was part of a police operation by both countries’ specialised sexual crimes units and exposed a child pornography ring linked to a cyber meeting space for paedophiles whose fetishes seem to be the sexual abuse of babies.

Police allegedly found sections of files containing hundreds of images and videos of violent assaults as well as internet addresses of more than 300 other alleged paedophiles.

Yolandé Stander Garden Route Media

News & Views

11 November 2015

CXPRESS

Knysna forest inspires creativity ESTLED high up in the mountains above Knysna is the tiny, secluded community of Gouna.

Abundant with artists and authors, painters, potters and poets; clearly this community, living right on the border of the indigenous forest, finds much creative inspiration from its beauty.

One of the Gouna authors, Lisa Picard, has recently published a book specifically about the spirit of the forest and how it touches the lives of those whom it encounters.

The Green Lady is a work of charming fairy-tales that will enchant your inner-child. But, as much as it is fiction, the reader will also recognise many beautiful truths woven through these stories.

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All those whose lives have been touched and enriched by the spectacular forests that surround us here in Knysna will find much to enjoy in The Green Lady.

Life partner to Lisa is internationally-acclaimed author and spiritual healer Arn Allingham, who publishes under the pen-name Zingdad.

Arn’s popular book, The Ascension Papers, is an invitation to step into the power of your divine, limitless self and is typically described by readers as “profound” and “life altering”. The Ascension Papers is now being launched in its third edition.

Arn and Lisa will be hosting a launch and signing of their two books at Polvo Coffee Shop in Knysna on November 21. Both books

ARN ‘ZINGDAD’ ALLINGHAM: Internationally acclaimed as spiritual healer, Arn regularly receives clients from all over the world to partake of his healing gifts. Published under the pen-name ‘Zingdad’, Arn has authored numerous life-changing spiritual publications, including ‘The Ascension Papers’, ‘Create Yourself; Create Your Life’, and the ‘Heart and Mind Aligned’ seminar series. He lives a quiet life with his partner and fellow author Lisa high in the secluded forests of the Outeniqua Mountains.

LISA PICARD: Lisa is an ex-corporate warrior who, like so many of the characters in her book ‘The Green Lady’ had a deeply transformative experience in the forests of the Garden Route. This life-altering experience was the catalyst that led to her leaving her city life and corporate job and moving to a remote smallholding, high up in the Outeniquas. Lisa and her life partner and fellow author, spiritual healer Arn Allingham, built their off-the-grid home with their own hands where, as of 2010, they have been enjoying a simple, but deeply connected, life on the border of the beautiful indigenous Knysna forest.

Says Lisa: ‘It is my greatest joy and the expression of my most authentic self to share my love and appreciation of the forests with others through my writing.’

will be available for sale at discounted prices at the book launch.

Everyone who purchases a book at the launch will be entered into a draw for one of numerous prizes, including the grand prize of Arn’s multi-media, selfstudy seminar called ‘Heart and Mind Aligned’, which retails internationally for

US$150.

Bring a friend or two and come and meet Arn and Lisa at this fun event. Find out more at www.zingdad. com or www.thegreenlady. zingdad.com and get hold of the authors on 082 334 6482 / zingdad@zingdad. com or on 082 334 6482 / thegreenladybook@gmail. com for further details.

Blood Lions continues to reach every corner of the world DEN to Addo, Ian Michler, and the Blood Lions team thank the good people of Plettenberg Bay for coming out to support the screening of the docuflick Blood Lions in Plett earlier this year. [Turn to page 2 of the July 29 edition at www.cxpress. co.za for the full story.]

Says Eden to Addo director and eco campaigner Ian Michler: “Given the size of Plett, the turnout was one of the largest to date and we are immensely grateful for the donations that have gone towards my trips to the States. Many thanks to everyone for all the support - it is hugely appreciated.”

Since that screening, Blood Lions has been seen in over 140 countries around the world.

MSNBC launched the film across the USA in early October, and Dis-

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covery Channel has been screening it on every other continent. By the end of the year, the film will have been seen in over 180 countries.

This week, Ian heads to Colombia, the European Parliament, and Finland for screenings and presentations. He is then joined by producer Pippa Hankinson and executive producer Andrew Venter, for screenings at the Royal Geographic Society in London and The Explorers Club in New York.

These initiatives are all aimed at having legislation changed.

Eden to Addo is also pleased to announce two additional local screenings: at Pezula in Knysna on December 10, and at the White House in Plettenberg Bay on December 28. Visit www. edentoaddo.co.za or contact admin@edentoaddo. co.za for booking details.

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CXPRESS

News & Views

11 November 2015

Music Without Borders benefits Kwano’s kids

PROGRESSIVE PLAY: A group of advanced students of Music Without Borders - at back from left are Noma-India Hans (a staffer at Phakamisani Primary School), Athabile Sinobolo, Phumlani Nkonjane, Mihlali Zazini, Ntombokholo Nkcithi and Nkosekhaya Maqhashu; in front are Siphesihle Qakamfana, Zukhanyise Skosana, Zintle Ncedani and Lisanda Hlokomile

Words & photos: Timothy Twidle

MERICANS Jim Tooher and Barbara Aragon are New Yorkers through and through, having both been born and raised in the Big Apple.

But how many Bitou folk would know that they have been running a music outreach programme in KwaNokuthula for the past six years?

Tooher is a professional musician who is ably assisted in his endeavours

by Aragon; both have an abiding belief in the merits of religious worship and through their attendance at church back in the States, they became aware of the need for some kind of musical instruction on the Garden Route.

This gap became apparent to them when Kurland Village resident Kathy van Staden declared: “I wish we had a music academy in

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our area.”

Nothing daunted, Tooher and Aragon set about turning such a wish into reality.

After a number of visits to Bitou and ongoing interaction with various local schools, Music Without Borders Inc. was established in 2009 as a registered charity with the express intent of bringing musical ability to previously disadvantaged youngsters.

Music Without Borders is entirely self-funded and over the years has provided music instruction at The Crags, Formosa and Phakamisani Primary Schools, all situated within Bitou Municipality.

Most of the recent work of Music Without Borders has been directed at learners at Phakamisani Primary in KwaNokuthula.

A select group of pupils, normally aged 11-12 years, are taught to read music and to play the recorder a woodwind instrument -

and thereafter progress to either the violin, flute, guitar, keyboard or mandolin.

Tooher and Aragon typically spend some three weeks of every year in Plettenberg Bay, during which time they will hold three separate sessions per week of musical instruction, of approximately 40 minutes duration each, with young learners.

Once a week they meet with those who have progressed with their musical training and who are normally 16 or 17 years of age and attending secondary school.

Noma-India Hans, a member of staff at Phakamisani Primary, has also received musical instruction from Jim Tooher and oversees progress throughout the rest of the year.

The Music Without Borders instruction programme has been warmly endorsed by the principal of Phakamisani Primary.

WE ARE RECORDING: With Jim Tooher and Barbara Aragon, at third from and far right in the back row, are some of the Phakamisani Primary School students who currently form part of the programme - at back from left are Nkosekhaya Maqhashu (a former member of the young learners group), Zimbini Sithetho, Ntlantla Jasob, Siphosethu Nobhadula and Aphiwe Sonjica, with Owam Zazini, Zukhanye Mbijekana, Sinakho Mabele, Siphelele Nonganga and Sinoxolo File in front

Business

11 November 2015

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Local goes global as Seeff partners with UK real estate giant Hamptons International HE Seeff property group has announced that it has aligned with Hamptons International a member of Countrywide, the largest real estate group in the United Kingdom - as its exclusive Southern African partner. The partnership was launched at press events held in Cape Town, Durban and Johannesburg.

Over the past two years, Seeff has expanded further into the SADC region and now has a presence in Botswana, Zambia, Namibia, Swaziland, Zimbabwe and Mauritius in addition to almost 200 offices countrywide. “It was a natural progression for us to further expand our reach across the globe,” said Samuel Seeff, chairman of the Seeff property group.

“This exclusive partnership enables Seeff to market our local properties internationally and also gives buyers access to some 150,000 property listings worldwide, including prime areas where South Africans are increasingly investing such as the UK, Portugal, Cyprus, Malta and even the USA.” Head of International

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Investor Focus

BIG GUNS: From left are Alasdair Hedley of Hamptons International, Seeff chairman Samuel Seeff and CEO Stuart Manning

for Hamptons Alasdair Hedley said that there were about 400,000 South Africans living in London and a further 100,000-odd across the UK. Last year, South Africans bought nearly as many UK properties as Americans and this is set to grow.

The demand for Brits purchasing homes outside the UK has also gained significant momentum. The growing expat community coupled with the excellent value in the local property market has made South Africa an incredibly attractive option for an overseas purchase.

“We’re absolutely thrilled to be joining forces with leading agent Seeff and

look forward to taking South African properties to a British audience while offering our UK and other international properties to the South African market,” said Hedley.

Similarly, Seeff will be leveraging the access to foreign markets for local sellers. “The demand is there and we believe that there is plenty of room for growth, investment inflows and economic benefits to be tapped,” said Seeff.

“Aside from the UK and Europe who still comprise about 60% of offshore buyers that invest in primary locations such as Cape Town’s Atlantic Seaboard and City Bowl, this now literally takes lo-

Malcolm Stewart – Investment manager at Michaelides Parker Wealth Knysna & Plett

Living Annuities - Final AVING established your ‘ideal’ budget and your absolute ‘breadline’ budget, and taking your age and total value into account, you can now begin to establish your initial asset allocation.

Your investment advisor will know the historic returns of the various asset classes that you can access.

The following statistics measured over the last five years will give one a feel of what returns were achieved: Inflation 5.09%, Cash 5.80%, Bonds 9.67%, Property 22.20%, Preference shares 3.14%, and equities in general 16.09% However, within the general equity index one sees that the Top 40 index gave a return of 18.16%, Small caps 19.33%, Financials 21.06% and Industrials 27.34% - I will not quote resources!

With equities and property clearly the better performers, they will play the greatest performance role.

But this will depend on your age and total wealth.

For a 65-year-old with in excess of R5m, I would recommend an equity exposure of ±65%, property of ±10%, cash of 5%, and the rest in an offshore balanced fund.

There is, however, a danger in simply instituting

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this strategy, as it does not take any market conditions into account.

Most of the large industrial companies included in our industrial index are in fact offshore giants, all of which are currently still expensive. (It would take great courage to retire on a share like Naspers with a P/E ratio over 60!)

One must also remember that they are nearly all Rand hedge companies and the Rand is currently much undervalued.

Our bonds trade at a yield of ±8.5% but are very volatile, and looking at global bond rates one feels that they could be vulnerable to rising rates in the US. Cash should clearly be used as a parking place only as its long-term return is below the inflation rate.

The current sad state of resources is a lesson on cyclical companies - your LA cannot withstand the massive ups and downs of this asset class.

The current market does, however, present us with some interesting opportunities. The financial sector has not been exempt of the global sell-off. But these are sound defensive companies, as our banks and insurance companies are all well-capitalised and

well-managed.

This sector trades on a historical P/E of just over 10 and offers a dividend yield of nearly 5%. So a specifically targeted asset sector of financials will prove rewarding, particularly at the current entry point.

The property sector has been a star performer, but is currently trading at or about fair value, so an initial investment is possible.

What is clear from this very brief assessment, is that the management of the investments within your LA is an ongoing process.

You cannot simply decide on your asset allocation and blindly implement it.

Cash should be used as a parking place and the funds invested into the various assets as and when the time is right. You may buy a balanced fund where the asset manager makes these decisions, but remember the fund will already be fully invested.

In the current market turmoil, patience and cash may well be your best friends.

Malcolm has been in the investment industry for over 40 years. He has written this column in CXPRESS for the last 17 years and is a specialist in managing retired wealth.

cal property global. Given that Hamptons has some 85 branches across the globe and are represented on every continent, we anticipate a significant uptick in interest in property here.

“The partnership is a springboard into the continent, specifically the growth hubs of Southern Africa, but also that of East and West Africa. We have already seen growing tourism from Africa into South Africa and with that wealthy buyers from countries such as Nigeria increasingly investing in top-end properties, spending up to R55million for a penthouse at the V&A Waterfront, sold

by Seeff in 2012.

“As with the rest of the world’s wealthy, Ultrahigh-net-worth-individuals from SA and other African growth hubs are increasingly looking to diversify their investment portfolios by adding more real estate into the mix, often investing in multiple properties,” said Seeff.

The Hamptons partnership is a vital value-add now on offer to sellers and

buyers. Property has become a sought-after commodity among the wealthy who do not mind paying top prices as long as it is the right location that carries with it inherent capital value and growth.

For example, Seeff recent sold a Fresnaye property for R64.8-million and a luxury villa in Clifton for the record price of R111million, both as investment properties to a single buyer.

KwaZulu-Natal’s Dolphin Coast, Ballito and Umhlanga along with Garden Route hotspots such as Plettenberg Bay and Knysna’s top-end golf estates (e.g. Pezula) currently

provide plenty of property finds and exciting value for foreigners, given the weakness of the rand.

Seeff also noted that while the economy and investor confidence is challenging right now, he still regarded the residential market as positive. “It is well-balanced and still performing notably better than most economic sectors and the economy as a whole.”

“According to the latest data from one of the leading banks, property values are still growing at about 7-8% against economic growth of around 1.5-2% at best,” he said.

See the Seeff advert on page 3 for listings and contact details.

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CXPRESS

Interval

11 November 2015

The problem with political jokes is they get elected.

Heard about the next ‘Survivor’ show?

• Six men will be dropped on an island with one van and four children each, for six weeks.

• Each child plays two sports, and either takes music or dance classes.

• There is no access to fast food.

• Each man must take care of his four kids, keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, complete science projects, cook, do laundry, etc.

• The men only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done. There is only one TV between them

and there is no remote.

• The men must shave their legs and wear makeup daily, which they must apply themselves either while driving or while making four lunches.

• They must attend weekly PTA meetings; clean up after their sick children at 3:00am; make an Indian hut model with six toothpicks, a tortilla and one marker; and get a fouryear-old to eat a full serving of peas.

• The kids vote them off based on performance.

• The winner gets to go back to his job...

Take nothing for granted HIS morning I was sitting on a park bench next to a homeless man.

I asked him how he had ended up this way.

He said: “Up until last week I still had it all.

A cook who cooked all my meals, my room was cleaned, my clothes were washed and pressed, I had

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a roof over my head, I had TV, internet, I went to the gym regularly, the pool, the library, and I could still go to school.”

“What happened? Drugs?

Alcohol? Or was it divorce?” I asked.

“Oh no, nothing like that,” he replied, “I got out of prison.”

Calling home collect ICKY was at a business conference. During a break, she decided to call home collect.

Her six-year-old son picked up the phone and heard a stranger’s voice say: “We have Vicky on

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the line. Will you accept the charges?”

Frantic, the six-yearold dropped the receiver and came charging outside screaming: “Dad! They have Mom! And they want money!”

The holy art of walking on water rabbi, a priest, and a minister are out fishing in a boat on a big lake when the priest realises that he has to go to the bathroom.

Not wanting to disturb the fishing of the others in the boat by having them take him to shore, he gets out of the boat and walks across the water to do his business and then returns to the boat.

A little while later, the minister has to go also and he does the same.

He walks across the wa-

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ter, does his business and returns across the water to the boat.

Finally, the rabbi feels the urge to go to the bathroom too, so he climbs out of the boat. But instead of walking across the water, he falls into the water and starts to wildly splash around.

The priest and the minister finally drag the rabbi back into the boat, and the priest turns to the minister and says: “Maybe we should have told him where the rocks were.”

When people scare animals...

Social Scene

11 November 2015

CXPRESS

KNYSNA SONGBIRD & CO PLAY ‘CANDYFLOSS’: A ‘Hollandse noointjie’ of origin, Knysna vocalist Mia Swart, left, has had a long and successful musical career, combining natural musical gifts with her delightful European charm. She has sung professionally since her teens and is accompanied by multi-talented George muso Olga Schoeman - the daughter of well-known pianist Anna Bender - on harp, guitar and keyboard. Special guest Ruan van der Vyver on flute is a rising star. The trio will recreate a French-style bistro with their choice of the most beautiful songs ever written in French, English, Afrikaans, Dutch and German, even taking you back to the sultry renditions of Marlene Dietrich. The venue, Spookasem, is 8.5km along Rheenendal Road on and the show takes place on Sunday November 22 at 4:30pm. Entrance is R100pp and snacks will be on sale - call 072 820 0170 for more information.

People, places & events TEACHING WITH A SMILE: Taking a break from their serious work at Greenhill Educare Centre in Phase 3 Kwanokuthula are the ladies who comprise the facility’s dedicated staff pictured here are, from left, teacher Pandora Mbopa, cook Francis Mrwashu, teacher Oscaria Mweza, principal and Grade R teacher Zoleka Ndinisa, Stage 1 teacher Pila Ntontela, and cleaner cum teacher’s assistant Olivetu Bacela. Greenhill Educare is an outreach project of St Peter’s Chapelry that was established in 2006, and is under the management of a team lead by Muriel Cubitt. - Photo: Pauline Coubrough

OPEN GARDENS 2015 ROCKS! The annual Plett Open Gardens for PAWS was a huge success, with 414 visitors bringing in a whopping R43,000 for Bitou’s pets. Convenor Marsja HallGreen thanks everyone who visited, some hailing from as far as George, and especially the volunteers and many others who donated plants, cakes, et al for the cause. She also paid tribute to the owners who so generously shared their magnificent gardens, and to CXPRESS for helping to spread the word in editions leading up to last month’s event. Pictured clockwise from top left are Terry du Plessis and Viv Roux, who volunteered at the lovely McIvor garden in Brackenridge, chatting to visitor Lin Alexander; Lindsay and Peter Hatz while volunteering at the Dippenaar garden; and Wendy Jones, Paula McLachlan and Gilly Haysom, who organised the highly successful plant sale at Bosky Dell, which contributed R6,000 to the total income.

A PINK PREMIER FOR KNYSNA: For the first time ever, local riders were able to take part in the annual Pink Glove Run organised nationally by Harley-Davidson Africa in support of Breast Cancer Awareness, and occasioned by the recent opening of Harley-Davidson Garden Route in Knysna.

Threatening rainclouds and the temporary closure of Kaaimans Pass due to a truck obstruction did nothing to dampen the enthusiasm of the bikers that congregated at 70 Main Street for the October 31 event. Once the George/ Mossel Bay/Wilderness contingent had negotiated the detour along the windy old Seven Passes Road, the procession took off in grand style, led by Inspector Michael Davidson of Knysna Traffic and two escorting police vehicles. And then Knysna reverberated to the roar of 50 motorcycles in the first-ever procession of this type. Hats - and gloves - off to everyone involved.

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CXPRESS

11 November 2015

Classifieds

On the Soapbox

11 November 2015

Letters to the Editor

CXPRESS

Email: editor@cxpress.co.za - Fax: 044 533 0852 - PO Box 1449, Plett 6600

Does government force municipalities to pay what is called “post retire- absolute maximums? And the absolute max? ment benefit obligations”. do they force them to pay The MTREF (Medium Term Revenue and Expenditure) 2015/2016 2017/2018 budget of Knysna Municipality provides interesting information.

Anyone who takes a drive through Knysna will dodge potholes, and will see that the town looks very neglected and tired. Neglected and broken.

Cast your eye over the numbers and if you are a numbers person you may question, in the current 2015/2016 year, for a town (including Sedgefield) of some 50,000 people: • R6,817,000 for council-

lor salaries and perks; • R8,887,000 for senior managers (including R870,000 in “performance” bonuses) - that’s a 6% increase on the previous year, in a tired and financially stressed town; • R192,654,000 for other municipal staff (an 11.3% increase on previous year) including R11,109,000 in overtime, R9,159,000 in “performance” bonuses, R4,398,000 in motor vehicle allowances, R7,852,000 in housing and other allowances and benefits, R1,872,000 in long services awards, and R8,274,000 in

Ms Hirons provides hallmark

TAKING FLIGHT: The cover image of our previous edition, shot by Jean Hirons of Hoekwil, inspired new ideas for a Knysna church tapestry

I refer to Ms Jean Hirons’s photograph of a Knysna loerie on the front page of your November 4 edition.

My wife, Mrs Jane Crowe, is with inputs from some of her likeminded friends, designing tapestries for new altar kneelers at Knysna’s St Georges Anglican Church. Naturally, she would like the tapestry tops to have a Knysna “hallmark” - and what better than the loerie?

To this end, she would appreciate it if you could provide Jean’s contact details. Although the public

have now seen the beautiful photo, Jane would like, as a matter of etiquette, to seek Jean’s blessing.

David Crowe, Knysna (We are happy to report that we could put the kindhearted Crowes and generous Ms Hirons in touch, and elated that the photograph - first published as winner of the month image in Sunday Times, but seemingly catching a whole new bunch of eyes when used on the cover of CXPRESS - has inspired such arty aspirations.

We will keep you posted on the progress of those kneelers. - Eds.)

This huge pile of money is extricated from the hard working normal folk in town (and pensioners) who don’t earn anywhere near what these select few are paid.

The question then is, with all of this R208,358,000 paid to the municipal staff, why do we have to put up with shoddy services, shocking roads, and crumbling infrastructure?

You will be told that central government sets their salary scales. Maybe they set the maximum salary scales, but do they force the municipalities to pay the

performance bonuses?

Who is watching where our money is spent? Who is ensuring that municipal staff are not being grossly overpaid? Who is checking to ensure all posts are absolutely necessary? And with all these salaries and wages, where are the people actually fixing the town?

Just asking…

Ian Stewart, Knysna (This letter was sent to Knysna Municipality for feedback and we hope to publish a response by the next edition.

CXPRESS is in possession of a copy of the MTREF document in question - Eds.)

Basta met dure karate kompetisies in VSA Met verwysing na ‘n foto wat geplaas is in CXPRESS gedateer 28 Oktober, wil ek graag my opinie lug t.o.v. die Plettenbergbaai Laerskool se leerlinge wat gekies is om aan die [Sports Martial Arts] wêreldkampioenskappe in Orlando deel te neem.

Ek het hierdie sport vir baie jare beoefen, waarvan baie jare as karate instrukteur. Uit ‘n opvoedkundige oogpunt is dit onaanvaarbaar om jong kinders aan sulke kampioenskappe te laat deelneem.

Dit lyk vir my of dit nie hier om die kinders gaan nie, maar oor die sukses van die afrigters en die ego van die ouers. Ek glo dat

baie van die ouers dit nie finansiëel kan bekostig nie.

Indien hierdie leerlinge wel die potensiaal het, sal hulle wel later die geleentheid kry om hulself te bewys. Kinders van hierdie ouderdom moet nog fietsry en met hul maats speel, en nie aan sulke stresvolle byeenkomste blootgestel word nie.

Die opvoedundige waarde van karate is legio. Leerlinge leer van dissipline en selfdissipline, om enkeles te noem. Laat hulle die sport geniet en los die groot kompetisies vir latere jare.

Ek vertrou dat lesers hierdie brief in ‘n positiewe lig sal sien.

Pieter Coetzee, Wittedrift

Short shots Hello! The notice of application for registration message at the bottom of page 7 of today’s CXPRESS [visit www.cxpress.co.za and turn to that page of the November 4 edition] should actually appear on page 8: ‘Go on have a laugh!’

It states in the second line of the heading that it is an application in terms of the “electronic” commission act. Is there such a thing?

‘Tom’, by email --I have a lovely pic of one of the participants [in the Harley Davidson Pink Glove Run on October 31] that I think would go so nicely into CXPRESS, which I find to be such a happy paper - not that others aren’t,

but yours generally has more cheerful stuff, particularly on the front page.

What a refreshing change from so much of the doom and gloom we often see in newspapers.

Wendy Rademeyer, Knysna --Thank you so very much for including, yet again, a picture of our Rotary activities [turn to page 13 of the October 28 edition at www.cxpress.co.za].

Your continued willingness to help us publicise a few of the many good works which Rotary performs, encourages all of us to keep on performing them! Many thanks from all of us at Rotary Plett.

David Pickering, Plett

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Read CXPRESS online @ www.cxpress.co.za

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CXPRESS

Sport & Adventure

11 November 2015

Watch Graham, Hanno & Co as they brave the Brazilian jungle for 120 non-stop hours WO Knysna locals are part of top SA team Merrell Adventure Addicts, who just headed off to the Adventure Racing World Championships in Brazil.

The team of four left on Saturday November 7 for the long journey to the wetlands of the Pantanal, where they will compete against 40 top international teams in this extreme endurance sport. The 700km course with legs of mountain biking, trail running and kayaking will be undertaken as a single stage, expected to take the winners about 120 hours non-stop.

It is predicted that the exceptional paddling skills of our Merrell team, currently ranked Number 7 in the

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world, will give them a good advantage in the wet course that will see them in and out of rivers and flooded areas.

All teams must be fully prepared to survive unassisted in the wilderness, and preparing all the equipment necessary is in itself “an adventure in international relations”. So says captain and Knysna resident Graham Bird, who has spent countless hours talking with other foreign teams to swop favours.

Although they will be rivals out there, the spirit of sportsmanship is evident in the camaraderie shown before and after the event.

“Teams overseas have sourced things for us that we can’t get here, and we

ADDICTED TO ADVENTURE: The Merrell team, from left, of locals Hanno Smit and Graham ‘Tweet’ Bird, along with Robyn Kime and Donovan Sims, will compete against multisport athletes from around the world in a gruelling race starting 6pm on Saturday

have done the same for them. We are taking several sets of custom-made paddles for ourselves and other teams, specially made by Albert Wasserman of Knysna Racing. They split into four pieces, making them easier to carry on the long running legs,” explained Graham.

The local company will no doubt be getting many more orders next year when several of the same teams will come to challenge the eagerly anticipated Expedition Africa 500km event held in Knysna and Sedgefield during June 2016.

Aside from good athletic abilities, the team needs optimum navigational skills to complete the course. All they receive is a set of maps to find checkpoints and the finish line using only a compass. No GPS systems are allowed, but each team carries a transmitter allowing supporters to view their progress on screen.

It’s called ‘dotwatching’ for armchair enthusiasts (who report having sleepless

nights themselves as they shout directions and advice to their team), as the team is represented by a little dot among many on a map.

“The technology allows people to get involved and see a bit of what we do… without the sweat dripping in their eyes!” said Karatara local Hanno Smit.

The Pantanal is the world’s largest freshwater wetland with an extraordinary, concentrated biodiversity.

Teams and the media, who will be following some of the action on a riverboat, will traverse the home turf of jaguars, giant otters, anacondas, caimans, macaws, marsh deer, tapirs, over 700 species of birds, 260 types of fish, and 80 reptile species.

“We’ll be racing very hard, but we are always aware of our surroundings and aware of how privileged we are to compete in such exotic places,” said Donovan Sims who, together with Robyn Kime, makes up the rest of the SA team.

“Knowing that people all over the world are following us is truly wonderful and we hope they get inspired to enjoy the outdoors as much as we do.”

Live tracking will be available from the moment they start, at 6pm SA time on November 14. The link to updates and images will be posted on the Facebook page of Merrell Adventure Addicts, or visit http://advaddicts.co.za/ for details.

Inter-town bowling challenge won by able combo team HE annual Personal Trust Super-Bowls Cup Challenge took place on Thursday October 22 at Knysna Bowling Club.

Knysna and Plettenberg Bay joined forces to play against Leisure Isle and Sedgefield.

Says Knysna Bowling Club secretary San Raubenheimer: “It was an exciting day with excellent bowls played and the event was once again a huge success, with fierce competition among the rivalling clubs.”

The Leisure Isle and Sedgefield combo team managed to win the Personal Trust Super-Bowls

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Cup for the first time, but congratulations are extended to all participating bowlers for great sportsmanship

and gees.

Email justsan@me.com for information on future bowling meets.

CUP TAKERS: Ian Ballantine and James Kitching, captains of the winning Sedgefield/Leisure Isle team, display the soughtafter trophy

Greenwood school tennis on the rise fortnight or so ago, Knysna Primary hosted a tournament that saw children from a number of local schools rocking up to take part in the event. The tournament was run in a round robin format with the best of seven games played.

In 2014, Greenwood had made it to the final of the provincial league round robin. But this year, the school won most of the age groups at the tournament, too.

Sienna Mann won the girls under-11, and Kaitlyn Fritelli finished in second place. Anthony Legge took honours in the boys under-11, with Chris Reekie finishing second. In the under-13 boys competition, Ben Dugmore came out on

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top as well.

Says Luke Olsen of Plettenberg Bay Tennis Academy: “I am delighted

with the work the kids have been putting in with us on court, and I can only see the results improving in future.”

QUEENS OF THE COURT: From left are Femke Murray, Fenella Hill, Kaitlyn Fritelli, and Sienna Mann with proud Greenwood Primary school sports Master Rayno Beukes