22 March 2017

22 March 2017

Published every Wednesday by CXpress 2006 (Pty) Ltd - PO Box 1449, Plettenberg Bay 6600 - 6 Park Lane, Plettenberg Bay - Tel: 044 533 1004 - Fax: 044 533 0852 Email: editor@cxpress.co.za / advertising@cxpress.co.za Web page: www.cxpress.co.za Printed by Group Editors

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Photo: Emma Rourke

Nice, né?

Five years ago it was a step in the right direction for Plett; now it’s one giant leap to Knysna, where a troupe of unique Garden Route cultural performers will ignite the night on March 25 during the Tshisa Finals at Oakhill School. Pictured here is finalist Jimmy Profesa in mid-leap... will he be the winner? He’ll be up against excellent competition, and all stops will be pulled out for the best in top-class entertainment. Find out more on page 6.

Murder suspect nabbed swiftly

Causing a stink over court loos

Today is World Water Day!

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Brand change

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CXPRESS

NEWS & VIEWS

22 March 2017

OBITUARY

Mourning the passing of Lawrence Holmes, master carver of Plettenberg Bay T is with much regret and sadness that friends and family of Plettenberg Bay resident Lawrence Holmes learnt about his passing away after a long illness on Monday March 13.

Lawrence was very well known for his carvings and wood work, his amazing talent, his original ideas. He was popular with many and loved by all.

Everyone he came into contact with made him their friend.

He would step out and help wherever he could. You could give him a picture of a bird and out of a piece of wood, he would make an amazing masterpiece. One of a kind, Lawrence was an artist of many talents, a true master carver.

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The world famous Feathers Gallery in Knysna displayed many of his carvings and used his talents to create many ideas conceptualised by their team.

His carvings were sought after by many.

Loved by his family, Lawrence was a special man, a humble man, a loving man, and father to Wade Holmes.

He was also a grandfather, an uncle, and sibling to Roger, Marilyn, Gregory, Anthony, and Ian. Lawrence will be missed by many who knew him, who knew his heart, and who loved him very dearly.

A memorial service will be held on Central Beach at 10am today (March 22).

MAKING WOOD COME ALIVE: Lawrence Holmes (4 July 1962 to 13 March 2017) pictured here immersed in his most loved craft of woodcarving - the image, below left, shows some of his creations for Feathers Gallery in Knysna - Photo: Roger Holmes

A last farewell to Lawrence You cannot own the wind, the breeze through the trees The tornado when it heads for destruction You cannot temper the seasons for reasons of your own Nor still the waves when they break too high You cannot cap a volcano or mend cracked ice Nor can you turn back the swallow when it heads your way You cannot stem the tide, the rise of the sun The fairy-tale light of the

stars nor the ever near night You cannot hold a rainbow, touch the start or the end Nor can you dim its splendour, transfer the rays it brings your way You cannot hold love, emotions or joy None of these things are yours to keep Only to remember before you sleep.

Rest in peace, Lawrence, we will always remember you as a kind, talented, gentle man.

- Rita, Ettiene, and Zoe.

Notice Board • Catch Rondebosch Boys Band in concert on Friday March 24 at Piesang Valley Community Hall in Plett from 7pm. This is a fundraiser for several charities including PAWS, and an amazing evening of music is promised so don’t miss out.

Call Sylvia on 083 470 4790 to book your tickets (R90pp) or for further information.

• It’s Earth Hour again on Saturday March 25 so switch off all your lights from 8:309:30pm to make a positive impact on the environment.

Earth Hour is a movement for the planet organised by the World Wide Fund for Nature. The event is held annually, encouraging individuals, communities, households, and businesses to turn off their non-essential lights for one hour, as a symbol of their commitment to the planet.

Visit www.earthhour.org to find out more.

• Plett Geezer Events presents ‘Fire & Foam’ at The Barnyard in aid of Plett Fire Management Unit on March 25 from 6pm to midnight.

There will be food stalls and foam, a fire truck and music, and fire dancers for your entertainment. So get your tickets (R200pp) today - call Shirley on 081 052 4877.

• Moya Animal Outreach hosts a charity golf tournament at Plettenberg Bay Country Club on Sunday March 26.

Tee off times are 11am to 1pm with a prize giving at 6pm.

Moya services its closest community in need, Kurland Village, which comprises 1,000 residential homes as well as a sprawling number of shacks,

with no access to affordable veterinary primary health care.

An exploding dog and cat population is resulting in more than 50% of a feral population surviving without ownership, spreading contagious diseases, so your participation will go a long way to back their essential service.

Green fees cost R300, so please back this excellent cause by booking at the PBCC Pro Shop on 044 533 2132, or contact Crags Vet Clinic on 044 534 8000 or at cragsvet@gmail. com for more information.

NEWS & VIEWS

22 March 2017

Introducing ‘Project Farm Murders’ Specialist investigator of serious violent and economic crimes in South Africa MIKE BOLHUIS contributed this report on his latest project HE term ‘farm murders’ is familiar to everyone in South Africa. We hear reports almost daily on national TV and radio, and read about these murders in newspapers.

In the past three years, farm murders have escalated drastically and presently the numbers are higher than ever. During January and February, farm attacks and murders have reached an all-time high.

Apart from the quantity of attacks, the level of brutality has escalated tremendously. These ruthless criminals seem to be completely inhumane.

Statistics of farm murders are alarmingly high at two to three murders per day. This is the highest percentage of all murder statistics and the general population is largely unaware of the fact.

Freedom of speech creates a forum for inciting the hate that fuels this kind of attack. Both instigators and perpetrators have little understanding of the impact that these murders have on our country.

They do not seem to realise that if there are no more farmers, there will be no

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SERIOUS ABOUT FARM CRIME: Mike Bolhuis was spotted by CXPRESS in Johannesburg last Friday during a breather from his hard-core job of catching crooks - Photo: Esther de Villiers

more food either.

These attacks equate a reign of terror against our farmers. aimed at making them flee their properties. The criminals want to occupy their land for living purposes - it is not their goal to continue with farming activities, proving their ignorance and shortsightedness.

The important questions that we as citizens and law-

enforcement agencies need to ask are: • Who funds this criminal activity, and why do farm murders keep increasing?

• How do these criminals know exactly which farms to attack?

It seems clear that these activities are syndicatedriven and have a mastermind behind its leadership and planning.

We appeal to the public

and farmers in particular to always be vigilant and gain a good understanding of the area where they live, as well as of the authorities and workers in the area.

We realise that many measures are currently in place to ensure safeguarding and protection of farmers. Many organisations are involved, however, the number of attacks keep rising along with the death toll.

Should anyone have information in connection with farm murders, we appeal to you to contact us. All information will be treated with the utmost privacy and confidentiality.

We have at our disposal a team of specialist investigators of serious violent crimes that have the means and expertise, and are prepared to work with the appropriate authorities and role players to effect the arrest of these ruthless criminals, and to ensure that they are locked up and kept away from society.

You may forward any information to 082 447 6116, email mikebolhuis1@ gmail.com and fax 086 585 4924, or visit www.mikebol huis.co.za to find out more.

CXPRESS

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Suspects nabbed on same afternoon as George murder victim’s discovery ITHIN five hours after the body of 77-year-old Isabella Christina Kruger was discovered around noon last Saturday by her daughter in a bathtub at her home in Kraaibosch Estate in George, police investigators arrested two suspects aged 31 and 28 respectively.

The investigating officers received information from a member of the public who saw one of the suspects with Kruger’s Honda Jazz, which ran off the Old Knysna/ George road between George and Hoekwil.

The lead was followed up and the SAPS members spotted the suspects in an Opel Corsa hatchback on the N2 between George and Wilderness.

The breakthrough came on that same day at about 5:50pm, when members of the investigation team pulled over the Corsa near Victoria Heights. They searched the car and found suspected stolen goods, among which were a laptop and other valuables belonging to the deceased.

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Says SAPS spokesman Captain Malcolm Pojie: “The two suspects were arrested on the spot and detained at the George police holding cells. We also confiscated the Corsa in which they were travelling.

“Both men were charged with murder and were due to appear in court on Wednesday March 22, but the 28-year-old suspect was released on Sunday afternoon after his alibi was followed up. At this stage, there is not enough evidence to link him directly to the crime.”

The 31-year-old, however, made his first court appearance in George Magistrates Court on March 20. The investigation is ongoing and an autopsy will be conducted this week. to determine the possible cause of Kruger’s death.

Eden Cluster Commander Major General Oswald Reddy commended the Trio Crime Investigating Team, assisted by George SAPS detectives and the Local Criminal Record Centre’s Forensic experts for their sterling work.

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CXPRESS

NEWS & VIEWS

22 March 2017

CX Country court ablutions constitute a smelly violation of human rights Due to alleged non-action in response to concerns and complaints made to the relevant authorities since June last year, a local attorney has resorted to going public regarding the abysmal state of facilities at courts in Plett and Knysna - NIKKI RIDLEY reports LETT attorney John Gillespie has supplied a series of emailed complaints and “appeals for something to be done” regarding men’s toilet facilities at both the Plett and Knysna Magistrates Courts.

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In an email dated June 5, 2016, Gillespie cites a complaint regarding a “profusely running” toilet cistern at the Plett court’s men’s toilets.

In another email later that month, Gillespie mentions the Knysna ablutions, stat-

ing that “the toilet facilities in Knysna remain in disrepair and unhygienic”.

A number of emails followed - evidence of Gillespie’s concerted efforts to get something done about the problem in both towns.

According to the latest email, dated March 7 this year, “matters at the Plett and Knysna Magistrates Courts have deteriorated drastically”.

“Nothing is done about the hygiene in the men’s toilet in either Knysna or Plett.

It is filthy and disgraceful.”

Further details include: “The men’s toilets in Knysna remain dysfunctional. The communal toilet across from ‘D’ Court has been covered with cardboard for the past few weeks. It is marked ‘Out of Order’.

“The consulting room across from ‘A’ Court is inaccessible. It is mostly avoided because of the stench emanating from the men’s toilet across the passage.”

At the time of going to print, Gillespie indicated that the situation was as bad as ever and that despite his efforts and a response from a Mr Cerfonteyn at the Justice Department in George, promising that the problem would be investigated, the toilets were still disgusting and unusable.

Moreover, there is a decidedly unsavoury impact on the court itself. “One of the toilets in Knysna Magistrates Court overflows repeatedly, even flowing out on the carpet in the court!

“Nothing has been done.

The toilets in the holding cells in both Knysna and Plett are still so filthy that you cannot breathe when you go in there. It’s inhumane,” he says.

“My main problem is that in Plett, the urinals are dysfunctional and one toilet has been leaking for months. We need toilets at the courts, but we can’t use them.”

Plett-based attorney Carl Jeppe added his voice to the outrage: “It’s a disgrace. It has been reported on numerous occasions and still noth-

HYGIENE DOWN THE DRAIN: These images show some toilets and urinals at Plett and Knysna courts and prison facilities, pleas to the authorities for remedial action having fallen on deaf ears for years

ing has been done about it.”

The United Nations-endorsed World Toilet Day on November 19 encourages awareness and activity to promote access to sanitation across the globe, and while the pressing need is for facilities in schools and communities with no toilets, the maintenance, cleanliness and working order of facilities carry equal importance.

Dirty, unhygienic facilities constitute a serious health hazard. In addition, leaking toilets can waste massive amounts of water over time.

In July 2015, it was reported in the online edition of a local publication that a leaking toilet at Knysna Magistrates Court had cost ratepayers over R100,000.

The same article claimed that “several requests to various high-ranking officials at the court and the Department of Justice to address the problem fell on deaf ears”.

World Toilet Day is a long way away. Ideally, the toilets will be fixed long before then, and stay operational and clean in accordance to both the particularly pressing environmental need for water-wise actions, and the basic human rights currently being violated at our local courts and holding cells.

NEWS & VIEWS

22 March 2017

CXPRESS

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Garden Route communities must come together to fight water wastage PHETHO NTABA of the Department of Water and Sanitation shared this plea with readers in CX Country in the midst of a dire shortage of our most precious resource ERTAIN occurrences in life bring people together - be it sorrow, politics, religion or even disaster. One special event that crosses my mind is sport. I remember the 2010 FIFA World Cup as a perfect example. The nation was united around the event.

We rallied behind Bafana Bafana hoping for a miracle.

We sang songs to encourage the boys to fight. The nation believed in them. I believed in them. The first goal by Simphiwe Tshabalala was confirmation that anything is possible.

I remember the most popular phrase then: #Feel It. Ooh boy! The country was in agreement; we were feeling it.

For me the same energy and zeal can be used to find solutions to our current water-supply challenges. Water conservation is all about respect. Respect for water, respect for life, respect for the environment, and respect for others.

Truth is, the authorities are dealing with a number of aspects around water.

Come on CX Country locals, let’s share these responsibilities with our fellow Mzansi citizens.

As we celebrate Water Month in March, let us

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BECOME A WATER SPY: If you see a leak, report it

show the world that we are one, even as we join the world in celebrating World Water Day today, March 22. Let us all heed the call.

Let us be streetwise and monitor our water usage. In townships we have a popular, but not so cute, concept called “township management”. It means a whole lot of things, but this time we can push our own agenda.

How about a streetwise water management? Each street and every corner has its own “mayor”: that person who knows almost everything that is happening on that street. If not, let’s elect one. Let’s get together and gang up against water wastage.

Our streetwise mayors can

take a lead and be more like water spies, while we support them by reporting every leak. We still have time to turn the situation around.

The idea is to encourage efficient water usage.

Let us use our streetwise tricks and curtail water wastage. During our save water streetwise management gatherings, we can share water saving tips and devices, educate reckless water users, identify and fix leaks, and call into order water wasters.

Let’s catch them before authorities do and save them from the embarrassment that comes with “name and shame”.

You remember the #2010 Ke Nako (‘It Is Time’) phrase? I say let’s sing Ke Nako together and be water wise. I believe it is time to be friends with your water meter. Monitor your readings on a daily basis to understand your usage and reduce wastage. Become buddies with your water bill.

National Water Week is celebrated from March 2026 under the theme: Water, Food, Energy. Be innovative this water month.

What are you doing to save water?

• See the advert on this page for further details.

WATER has no substitute WATER WEEK | 20 - 26 March 2017

World Water Day 22 March 2017 “Wastewater: The Untapped Resource”

Water saving tips - Turn off taps between washing your face, brushing your teeth or shaving - Place a “Drop the Block” in the cistern” average flush = 9 litres of water - Repair leaks. A leaking tap can waste up to 8000 litres of water in a month - Do not leave a tap running. Water runs at approximately 13 litres per minute.

- Use grey water (used water from the baths, washing machines and other safe sources) to flush your toilet or water your garden.

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CXPRESS

NEWS & VIEWS

22 March 2017

The Tshisa Talent glow is now spreading to Knysna SHISA Talent was born in Plettenberg Bay five years ago. Since then, this Non-Profit Organisation which uncovers, develops and promotes talent has dreamt of extending the opportunity of being ‘discovered’ to the rest of the Garden Route.

Now, through the support of the National Arts Council of South Africa and Knysna Municipality, this dream has come true.

Following on from successful talent competitions spearheaded in Plett, the competition was extended to Knysna in late 2016.

On Saturday March 25, the Oakhill School stage will come alive with talent as the Tshisa Talent Knysna Finals take place.

“When we experienced the thrill of a truly integrated and authentic event through the Tshisa Talent Finals in Plettenberg Bay, I longed to extend into and link up the entire Garden Route,” said Tshisa founder, Stuart Palmer.

“Tourists are thirsting to experience our Rainbow Nation through cultural creative expression. Our performers are keen to entertain them in truly South African style, and are in great need of more platforms.

“If anything can connect us in our diversity as a nation, it is the performing arts. That is what Tshisa Talent is all about. I believe the dream will come true, one town at a time - an

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Eden of Entertainment to make us even more popular as the place to visit. It’s a win-win all the way.”

Relax to tailor-made tunes by the legendary Roy Taylor, while you sip delicious wines and nibble on delightful snacks as the sun goes down on one of our last African Summer days this season: Naturally Knysna at its very best.

If you have ever wished for some good, reliable local talent to titillate your guests, support Tshisa Talent in its

quest for the best and they will gladly connect you.

Tickets will be available at the door - however, don’t risk missing out, as they are limited? Pop along to Knysna Tourism or contact Gaillene at info@tshisa talent.co.za or on 083 894 9384 or 044 533 0942 to secure your seat. All proceeds go towards assisting these deserving, talented and dedicated artistes toward creating careers. Nice, nè?

See the advert on page 12 for additional information.

COME SEE ME ON SATURDAY: Megan Charles from Hornlee sings her heart out during her audition for the Tshisa Talent competition, which culminates in Knysna on March 25 Photo: Emma Rourke

New national craft competition aims to celebrate excellence in skill prestigious national competition is giving South African crafters a wonderful opportunity to showcase their work - but don’t delay, as closing date for entries is March 31.

South African artist and curator of Innibos National Arts Festival, John Anthony Boerma says the awards will give SA’s world-class crafters an opportunity to reveal the excellence of their skills.

Organised by the creative team that conceived the iconic Innibos Festival, the craft awards will pull together a diverse range of judges who all have one thing in common: a passion for developing our country’s creative talent.

These industry giants will use their years of experience to select from among the entries a collection of works that any international gallery would be glad to house.

Consisting of photo submissions, entries will be perused by the panel of judges before a short-list will be selected for display in July,

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with winners announced at a glittering awards evening.

Winner of the Platinum Award will receive R50,000; the Gold Award winner will pocket R30,000 and the Silver winner, R15,000.

There will also be merit awards for Best Emerging Craftsmen, along with sound financial advice to grow their businesses.

In addition, a Craft Retail Apprenticeship with Tourvest Destination Retail will be bestowed on one of the winners.

Craftsmen who marry their cultural heritage with contemporary sophistication and technical skill to create unique and unforgettable works of art, will definitely be recognised.

Entries are invited in the disciplines of Ceramics, Beadwork, Wirework, Wood, Jewellery, Paper, Fabric Painting and Printing, Quilting, Leatherwork, Pewter, Glasswork, Embroidery and Mixed Media.

John Anthony and Jan Bhuda - partners in Art Aid Africa, which assists in em-

powering skilled crafters, artists and educators - are extremely excited about the potential of the awards to foster growth and commercial strength in the crafts industry in South Africa.

“It is important that an awareness of this wide and eclectic form of artistic expression is raised.

The time has now come for South African craftsmen to fully and freely express themselves,” concludes John Anthony.

It is easy to enter - and it’s free!

Crafters wanting to enter need only send a photo of their work to Jan Bhuda on 083 719 1731, along with their name and surname.

To give judges an idea of the size of the work, please place a standard matchbox next to your creation when taking the photo.

Photographs may also be emailed to John Anthony Boerma at artaid@lantic. net before the closing date on March 31, so get snapping and sending today!

BUSINESS

22 March 2017

Now it’s our turn to get business buzzing from Knysna to Stilbaai PETER JOHN MOMSEN identifies opportunities for the development of The Southern Cape Corridor gineering, industry and and machinery. and others simply ride the HERE is a most beautiful stretch of southern coastline and adjacent plain, cooled by the Indian Ocean on its south and protected by the Outeniqua Mountains to the north. This corridor stretches from Knysna in the east through to Stilbaai in the west, and is called the Southern Cape Corridor (SCC).

In many respects, this region is better positioned for economic growth and development than the Pretoria-Midrand-Joburg corridor was in the 1980s.

We do not have the traffic congestion, pollution and crime of Gauteng, yet have the added advantage of a harbour at Mossel Bay with significant potential. Further, we have George Airport, a stretch of N2 highway in excellent condition, many thousands of hectares of land suitable for housing and commercial development, and an existing regional population of 300,000.

An Underpinning Economy From the developments currently underway in the area between Blanco and George Airport, it seems that Agri-Processing is emerging as a key sub-sector of the new economy of the region.

To date, the region has largely been dependent on agriculture, fishing, viticulture, beer and beverages, light/medium en-

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construction, logistics, tourism, and timber growing and processing. Employment and the capital generated from these sectors have kept the regional communities in relative socio-economic stability.

Current projections are that the population of the region will exceed 500,000 by 2025. By this time, the economic sectors on the employment and capital generation menu will need to have grown substantially (quantity) and substantively (quality), or further growth will be short-lived and stunted.

Growth Sectors A number of opportunities are obvious when one simply considers population growth: • Provision of new low and medium-cost housing (low through to highdensity).

• Adequate, affordable and safe transport and road infrastructure (impressed by what is happening on the road linking the N2 to Stilbaai).

• Provision of utilities, particularly water and energy.

• Building of new and/ or extension of schools and primary healthcare facilities.

In terms of the expansion and deepening of sectors currently in play, the following are possible areas for growth: • Core inputs for agriculture including fertilizers

• Expansion of food processing facilities (perhaps including canning, refrigeration, abattoir).

• Expansion of timber processing facilities, and introduction of carpentry/ joinery factories for value add to timber products.

• Upgrade and/or expansion of rail network lines, stations, sidings, rolling stock and general infrastructure.

• Expansion of logistics and warehousing (including agriculture and agriprocessing).

• Capacity in terms of skills and supply of material for the construction industry will need to be expanded and increased.

Critical new sectors will need to be established and capital will need to be raised for investment in the following: • Energy - water, wind, and solar (could be incorporated with development of new dams and reservoirs).

• Artisan and technical training facilities (could be done sensibly under the brands of NMMU and/or South Cape College).

• Telecoms, info and comms technology, electronic/digital infrastructure, provision and maintenance.

Timing As is almost always the case with investment, timing is the key strategic issue; apply capital and get the ball rolling too early

momentum of the wave you create, or leapfrog over your operation.

If you get in too late, not only is the competition already established, but the cost of entry is significantly higher, and the lowhanging fruit has already been eaten!

Triggers Imagine being allowed to start a 100m sprint three seconds before the starter’s pistol is fired! You should win hands-down every time, although perhaps Hussein Bolt would still catch you…

Nevertheless, my point is that the next hike in interest rates and/or a downgrade by the Ratings Agencies of SA Sovereign Debt will be the trigger for the race to take ownership of the opportunities noted above.

Why? Both these events will drive inflation and in turn, spur the private sector to hunt for market share, improved turnover, and better margins or returns. By maximising the current infrastructural and productive capacity of George Airport, Mossel Bay Harbour, road and rail networks, and skilled population, there would be few reasons to doubt that for the decade ahead, we should not enjoy better-than-inflation economic growth.

• Email Peter at southcapecorridor@gmail.com for more information.

CXPRESS

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Get investment wise and win great prizes with JSE competition IGH school learners and university students interested in the investment world can now register for South Africa’s largest financial literacy initiative, the 2017 JSE Investment Challenge.

Now in its 44th year, the Challenge continues to educate the youth about financial markets and investing.

Last year, the Investment Challenge grew in the number of both school and university team entrants.

Participation in the Schools Challenge increased by 30%, from 9,742 participants in 2015 to 12,618 in 2016. In the University Challenge, numbers increased from 2,776 in 2015 to 3,103 in 2016.

“The JSE is invested in educating the youth in our country about investing and this challenge allows us to achieve this goal. We would like to see this challenge grow even further in 2017,” says Ralph Speirs, CSI Officer at the JSE. The Investment Challenge initiative allows learners and students to buy shares in a virtual portfolio and practise trading in a risk-free environment. Each team is given a virtual sum of R1 million which they can use to trade JSE-listed shares.

Speirs explains: “Participants for the Schools Challenge

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are required to group themselves into teams made up of four learners. For the University Challenge, teams can vary from two to four students.”

In the University Challenge, the top three prizes are valued at R60,000, with first place winners getting R25,000 plus an all-expenses paid trip to an international Stock Exchange.

Runners up receive R20,000 and those in third place receive R15,000.

The Schools Challenge works differently and awards the winning team monthly.

Prizes include R2,000 for the best performing team, R500 for the teacher and R500 for the school.

Final prizes, awarded at the annual ceremony scheduled for later in the year, are valued at R180,000 for all three portfolios.

Speirs concludes: “Registrations for the 2017 challenge are now open. The JSE invites the youth of South Africa to get in the game and increase their investment knowledge, while also standing a chance to win some great prizes.”

Visit http://schools.jse.co.za or http://university.jse.co.za to find out more, or contact the Investment Challenge coordinators on 011 520 7116/7344/7129 for additional information.

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CXPRESS

INTERVAL

22 March 2017

On Schubert’s unfinished symphony… company chairman was given a ticket for a performance of *Schubert’s Unfinished Symphony. He was unable to attend and passed his invitation to the Works

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Ethics Consultant.

Next morning, the chairman asked the consultant if he had enjoyed the concert and, instead of a few plausible observations, was handed

The returning fine diner robust-looking gentleman ate a fine meal at an expensive restaurant and topped it off with some Napoleon brandy, and then he summoned the headwaiter.

“Do you recall,” he asked pleasantly, “how a year ago, I ate just such a repast

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here and then, because I couldn’t pay for it, you had me thrown into the gutter like a common bum?”

“I’m very sorry, Sir…” began the headwaiter.

“Oh, it’s quite all right,” said the guest, “but I’m afraid I’ll have to trouble you again...”

The price of snoring woman was having a medical problem - her husband’s snoring.

She called the doctor one morning, and asked him if there was anything he could do to relieve her “suffering”.

“Well, there is one operation I can perform that will cure your husband, but it is really

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rather expensive. It will cost R20,000 for a start, and then payments of R6,000 for 24 months, plus payments for extras,” the doctor replied.

“Wow!” the woman exclaimed, “sounds like leasing a new sports car!”

“Hmmm,” the doctor murmured, “too obvious, huh?”

The talkative Texan Texan was taking a taxi tour of London, and as they went by the Tower of London, the cab driver explained what it was and that construction of it started in 1346 and was completed in 1412.

The Texan replied: “Shoot, a little ol’ tower like that? In Houston we’d have that thing up in two weeks!”

Next, they passed the Houses of Parliament -

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started in 1544 and completed in 1618.

“Well boy, we put up a bigger one than that in Dallas and it only took a year!”

As they passed Westminster Abbey, the cab driver was silent.

“Whoah! What’s that over there?” asked the Texan.

The driver replied: “I don’t know, it wasn’t there yesterday.”

An urge to sing badly kid says to his mom: “Mommy, I gotta go pee!”

His mother tells him it’s rude to say ‘pee’ and he should say ‘sing’ instead.

One night the kid wakes up at his grandma’s house, and says: “Grandma, I gotta sing!”

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“Not now, you’ll wake the neighbours,” she says.

The kid goes back to bed, but comes back in five minutes, and says: “Grandma, I really gotta go sing BADLY!” His grandmother says: “Okay, okay, but quietly in my ear.”

a memorandum which read as follows: a) For considerable periods the four oboe players had nothing to do.

The number should be reduced and their work spread over the whole orchestra, thus eliminating peaks of inactivity. b) All 12 violins were playing identical notes.

This seems unnecessary duplication and the staff of this section should be drastically cut. If a large volume of sound is really required thus could be obtained through a GEC amplifier. c) Much effort was absorbed in the playing of demi-semi quavers. This seems an excessive refinement and it is recommended that all notes should be rounded up to the nearest semi-quaver. If this were done, it should be possible to use trainees

and low-grade operators. d) No useful purpose is served by repeating with horns the passage that has already been handled by the strings. If all such redundant passages were eliminated, the concert could be reduced from two hours to 20 minutes.

Conclusion: If Schubert had attended to these matters he would probably have been able to finish his symphony after all. * Franz Schubert’s Symphony No. 8 in B minor, D.759 (sometimes renumbered as Symphony No. 7), commonly known as the ‘Unfinished Symphony’, is a musical composition that Schubert started in 1822 but left with only two movements - though he lived for another six years.

Submitted by Jackie Ravenscroft

SOCIAL SCENE

22 March 2017

BLESSED FROM BLOEM TO THE BAY: Andrew van Niekerk and Shirley Sharp were married in Bloemfontein on March 18, 1961, left, and have been blessed with three sons - Raymond, Ivan and Andrew - and six grandchildren, who live in Cape Town, Singapore and Johannesburg respectively.

The happy couple, pictured above at their 56th wedding anniversary party last Saturday, moved to Plett in March 2009. Said Shirley: “We are very happy here, and the family built a large house so as to accommodate everyone when they visit during school holidays and on special occasions.” May you enjoy many an anniversary party with all those loved ones in Plett for years to come!

PETIT DÉJEUNER SUR L’HERBE: The green surroundings of Pledge Nature Reserve in the heart of Knysna created an ideal backdrop for an informal media breakfast by invitation of mayor Eleanore Bouw-Spies and her team on March 16. Local and regional media people were able to meet with mayoral committee members, the acting municipal manager and directors. Said Bouw-Spies: “We believe our relationship with the media should be a partnership that benefits the community we both serve, and we would like to develop this partnership.” She emphasised that the most important part of her campaign manifesto was to exercise transparent communication in all sectors. At left, the mayor is interviewed by Sagree Chetty for SABC News. - Gigi Lewis

People, places & events

DANCING FOR SUNSHINE AND HOPE: These young dancers from Reign School of Creative Dance in conjunction with Plettenberg Bay Youth are enthusiastically preparing for their showcase on March 25 at Plett Community Church (6pm for 18:30). Tickets cost R30 and are available from Leigh on 084 511 8493 or Taegan on 071 298 0160, and will also be available at the door. All proceeds from ticket sales will be divided between the Sunshine Sanctuary and Hope Pregnancy Centre, so please support these young people and make a difference to those in need.

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FÄRBINGERS AND SEDGEFIELDERS FANCY BARANOVS: At the second Knysna-Plett Concert of the year on March 13, violinist Andrey Baranov and his little sister, pianist Maria Baranova, played music by Giuseppe Tartini, Peter Tchaikovsky, Franz Liszt, Eugène Ysaÿe, Ernest Chausson and Maurice Ravel. Markus Färbinger, below at right, of île de païn - one of the Knysna-Plett Concert Series sponsors - attended the event with his father, Roman Färbinger, who resides in Austria but are presently on holiday in South Africa. Above from left, Sedgefield residents Tup Clayton, Reinet Barnes, Loraine and Wilf Jonckhere, and Dudley Barnes enjoy the evening. The next concert in the series features the Charl du Plessis Trio on Wednesday March 29. Founded in 2006, this much-loved and respected outfit of fabulous musicians, including Hugo Radyn and Werner Spies, returns to Knysna with the music from their CD ‘Baroqueswing Vol 2’ that will be recorded live next year in Switzerland. Their previous CDs have won awards and accolades and the group has performed to full houses in China, Switzerland and the Netherlands.

They will play their own crossover versions of the music of Bach, Gluck, Vivaldi, and Chick Corea. As always, the venue is Knysna’s DRC hall in Fichat Street. Buy tickets at the door from 6:45pm at R120.

Photos: Timothy Twidle

ONE NIGHT IN KNYSNA: The first-ever International Guitar Night takes place at Knysna Montessori School on March 31, featuring the extraordinary percussive guitarist Thomas Leeb, above - an Austrian national who now hails from California, USA. Doubling up the acoustic guitar-power quotient on the night is South Africa’s own Tony Cox, at the top, making this an absolutely not-to-bemissed, humdinger of a guitar-slinging show, the likes of which have probably not been seen in this region before. So diarise 8:15pm on the last Friday of the month and rock up at the Montessori amphitheatre. Tickets at R120 (full price online) are available from www.quicket. co.za or visit Symphony of Sounds in Woodmill Lane to qualify for a discounted block-booking rate (10 or more pay R100 while students, pensioners and children under 12 pay R90). Your ticket also serves as raffle entry, giving you a fantastic chance to win a brand new Fender Malibu CSE Acoustic Guitar kindly donated by Symphony of Sounds. The package will be completed by scrumptious eats offered

by Peace of Foods. So now all that’s left to say is ‘see you there!’

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CXPRESS

22 March 2017

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ON THE SOAPBOX

22 March 2017

Letters to the Editor

Email: editor@cxpress.co.za - Fax: 044 533 0852 - PO Box 1449, Plett 6600

Startling revelations about speed limits The subject of carnage on our roads has occupied the press constantly, and it is thus understandable that the various traffic departments have looked into the matter.

An intense study by the officials involved has produced the following observations and suggestions: • Deaths and injuries on the roads are mainly caused by vehicles.

• In order to reduce the mayhem, something must be done about these vehicles.

These insightful conclusions produced the following decision: • Vehicles must be eliminated from the roads entirely.

The brilliance of this decision however was limited by the realisation that transport is essential to our various communities.

Again, quite brilliantly, it was proposed that bicycles be used instead. It would, of course, mean that buses and trucks would have to be propelled by teams of cyclists, up to about 30 or 40 each.

The advantages are manifest.

For example, it would substantially reduce general obesity. But a problem arose when it occurred to authorities that the process would eliminate traffic departments.

The suggestion was abandoned.

Next idea: Speed limits would be reduced to 10km/h for all vehicles on all roads.

The thought that speed limits should be reduced from 120km to 100km, and 60km to 40km was scrapped, as it would not improve the applicable statistics to any noticeable degree.

Again, the advantages are manifest: As it would take 10 to 20 days to travel from Johannesburg to Plettenberg Bay, the tourism industry would expand exponentially. The number

Welcome and thank you to Whitey and crew

Bitou Municipality has recently announced the release of the property valuation roll. Property owners have until Friday March 24 to raise any objections.

As a property owner who took the time to check, I was horrified to note the huge unrealistic increase in the value of the property which I bought three years ago.

Although one realises that property values in Plett are on the increase, and it’s nice to know that one’s investment in property is also on the increase, I would encourage ratepayers to take the trouble to check the valuation roll.

I have read Nikki Ridley’s article with interest, but also some disappointment [turn to page 3 of the March 8 edition at www.cxpress.co.za].

Nothing positive - not a word of welcoming Checkers’ further investment in Plett at a time when few are willing to make investments of this magnitude.

So may I say welcome and thank you to Whitey Basson and Christo Wiese for including Plett once again in their brave strategy to expand their businesses in Africa and globally. It is certainly a wonderful injection into Plett’s new commercial hub in the Poortjies!

I think adequate road and traffic design should allay most safety and congestion concerns - but then of course it has to be adequate!

Comments about the architectural aesthetics of the complex should not be taken too seriously, as many such comments were passed around by well-known professional architects when the complex known as The Market Square was built.

I must admit that I was away for some time, so if there was a previous article addressing my disappointment with this one, please accept my apologies.

Piet Henderson, Plett

There’s no mistakin’ - that Kiwi is Zinzan Brooke ALL BLACKS IN DA HOUSE: This pic featuring Zinzan Brooke at left brought back memories of players and coaches involved in the ’95 Rugby World Cup

As a matter of interest, the player depicted on page 2 of last week’s CXPRESS is undoubtedly the famous Zinzan Brooke [check out Derek Frielinghaus’s column at www.cxpress.co.za].

I remember going down to Plett just to see the Springboks in training on the same field in Gris

Nez, when they were coached by Harry Viljoen, and Jake White was assistant coach.

Incidentally, Jake White’s father, Denis, and I were at school together and later played for the same cricket club here in Joburg. Jake was a snotkopseuntjie at the time!

Gavin Nefdt, Joburg

of B&Bs would explode.

Obviously, foreigners pay a lot more so our economy benefits.

Travellers could sit back and enjoy our countryside without the stress of speed.

Loss of revenue through speeding fines could be counter-balanced by increasing fines to, say, R5,000 to R10,000 for every kilometre or so that speed goes over 10km.

The list goes on, but we know politicians would not pass legislation unless they were exempted.

‘Mildly Concerned’, Plett

CXPRESS

Read CXPRESS online at www.cxpress.co.za

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Ratepayers, take careful note of Bitou property valuations It is these property values which will determine the rates you will be paying for the next four years.

Another important matter to check would be the zoning under which your property falls, as many dwellings falling into what was termed rural lifestyle could have changed - and this could have major ramifications in terms of how one’s rates are calculated.

It would be of interest to know from Bitou Municipality how exactly the valuations are determined, as I’m certain no officials or valuators have visited my premises.

D Law, Plett

Thanks for furthering my fundraising cause again!

Imagine my surprise when my dad sent me a photo of a recent CXPRESS, and there was an article of me! Thank you for your support and the publicity you’ve given me once again.

I raced Nationals again in February and did reasonably well, but unfortunately I did not qualify time-wise for the SA team going to Europe.

My advisers have said I should try to go as an independent rider to gain experience, as I only have two races per year in SA, and even in those races I am the only rider in my category and thus

have no competition.

I need to race more to improve as a cyclist. So I’m trying to raise funds to race overseas in May or July because as an independent rider I need to cover the costs of myself and a helper.

Thanks again for the wonderful piece. I think it’s the best one yet!

Toni Mould, Stellenbosch (See p12 of the March 1 edition at www.cxpress. co.za and visit Toni’s blog at https://tonikm.wordpress.com/ - or call Toni on 082 936 5131 if you wish to support her fundraising efforts. - Eds.)

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SPORT & ADVENTURE

22 March 2017 RIDING FOR RHINOS: Brendan Tindall, left, and team mate Robin Beetge, along with two English counterparts, hope to aid the plight of SA’s rhinos through their endeavours during next month’s joBerg2c - read all about how you can back them in this most deserving quest

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Fit local vet and his team take on joBerg2c to raise funds for rhinos LETT-based veterinarian Brendan Tindall of Robberg Vet Shop may be doing as much training in his free time as he’ll be putting in hours mending ailing animals over the next month or so.

You see, Brendan is one of three passionate vets who will go beyond the call of duty when tackling 900 rugged kilometres of “proper mountain-biking� across four provinces over nine days from April 21-29. The team will take on the 2017 joBerg2c to raise funds for the Chipembere Rhino Foundation (CRF).

Joining Brendan is riding partner Robin Beetge (SA) together with two Companion Care Small Animal Vets from the

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UK: Paul Meiring of Chesterfield and Jason Davidson of Derby. They have each set up a Just Giving Page to encourage people to help them raise funds for the foundation.

Their aim is to create awareness of the desperate plight of rhinos, encourage support from communities in both the UK and SA, and raise funds via their Just Giving pages to allow the CRF to continue its effort in combatting the tragic rhino poaching crisis.

The CRF specialises in sourcing, testing, and funding technology for effective monitoring of rhino; funding K9 handlers and their tracking and apprehension dogs; providing anti-poaching teams with vital equipment;

funding equipment needed to translocate rhino across SA; and collaborating with other likeminded NGOs and companies. “It is my deepest wish that my children’s children can share the joy of seeing rhino roaming free in Africa,� says Brendan. “Over the last two decades, I have developed a deep compassion for these gentle giants and I am committed to fighting for their survival. “On an ongoing basis, I tend to the wounds of rhino survivors or dig through the remains of the unfortunate ones to extract valuable forensic information. I remove the horns and apply radio transmitters to those that remain in a bid to make them less vulnerable. Or-

ganisations like the Chipembere Rhino Foundation provide much-needed support for protecting this iconic species.�

It is easy to show your support for these vets who give so selfishly of their time to make a positive difference to the plight of the fast-dwindling rhino population.

Simply help Paul and Jason reach their Team Target of £4,000 (UK) via the simple, fast and totally secure page at www. justgiving.com/teams/ rhinocycle or contribute to Brendan’s target of R20,000 on his SA Just Giving page (www.justgiving.com/fundraising/ Brendan-Tindall).

Visit http://joberg2c.co. za/ and http://www.chip embere.org/ for more info.

Brilliant day for Plett martial artists at Eden Classic 2017

On March 10 and 11, 13 students of the Plettenberg Bay Martial Arts Academy participated in the Eden Classic 2017 in George. This ISKA Mixed Martial Arts event allows various disciplines such as karate, kick boxing, power breaking and others. This year, Plett brought home 29 gold, 10 silver, and four bronze medals and Aiden Trahms, at left, won the Grand Champion trophy for the U14 brown and black belt division. It was a very successful day for the Academy, which continues to produce excellence in the various forms of martial arts, by the students as well as the Senseis who teach them. Thanks go to Sensei Elrie Bosman (karate) and Sempai Gee Bleeker (kick boxing) for their continued efforts - your energy, guidance and support combine to keep the students focused on their end goal. Pictured here with Sensei Elrie at centre in the back row are 10 of the students who participated in George (absent: Kian Minopetros, Aligi Boni, and Galliano Boni).

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