23 May 2018

23 May 2018

Published every Wednesday by CXpress 2006 (Pty) Ltd - PO Box 1449, Plettenberg Bay 6600 - 6 Park Lane, Plettenberg Bay - Tel: 044 533 1004 - Fax: 044 533 0852 Email: editor@cxpress.co.za / advertising@cxpress.co.za Web page: www.cxpress.co.za Printed by Group Editors

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Photo: Eileen Covarr

Flat-lining?

T This image won Eileen Covarr top spot in the latest Plett PhotoFUNatics challenge. She says it was shot during a half-work half-play visit to c Mykonos - turn to page 9 for the story behind these well-captured lines and textures. Much less fun is the report on Bitou Municipality’s proposed a bylaw that seems dead-set on snuffing out the town’s highly-functional ttourism bureau in its current form - find out more on page 3 and 4.

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CXPRESS

NEWS & VIEWS

23 May 2018

Musical delight awaits at Ouland Royale barn Hospice Plett will benefit from a concert scheduled for June 15 that will showcase the combined talents of two young musos, facilitated by two veterans of the stage HROUGH the joint auspices of Dr Anneke Lamont and entertainment professional Ilse Schürmann, music lovers from Plettenberg Bay and surrounds will have both the privilege and opportunity to experience the versatility and prodigious talent of two young South African musicians attaining international recognition to great acclaim and appreciative audiences.

Their recent successes include winning two prestigious competitions: soprano Masabane Cecilia Rangwanasha won this year’s Unisa International Voice Competition, whereas pianist Sulayman Human walked away

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with the coveted 2018 ATKV Muziq-prize.

Dr Lamont needs no introduction to Garden Route audiences, not least because it was she who brought Richard Cock, Nicholas Nicolaides and the ensemble of gifted, professional musicians to Knysna and Plett to perform for the benefit of the two Hospices, last year.

Born Anneke van Heerden, she received a PhD in 2006 from the University of the Free State with Albie van Schalkwyk and Stephanus Muller as promotors. As winner of the Unisa Overseas Scholarship, she furthered her studies in Hanover, Germany.

Twice invited to perform at the RAU Master Piano Series, she also participated in the project ‘Zeno’ with William Kentridge and Kevin Volans.

She features regularly at National Music Festivals in Grahamstown, Franschhoek and Potchefstroom and has been an official accompanist for the Unisa International singing and string competitions.

Dr Lamont has recorded numerous albums over many years. She is an examiner for the Unisa Music Examinations and was on the screening panel for the 2008 International Piano competitions. She is a jury member for ATKV Musiq and

The soprano

The pianist

ECILIA, 23, is a postgraduate diploma student at the University of Cape Town under Virginia Davids.

She completed her BTech in Vocal Art at Tshwane University of Technology under the vocal tuition of Kiewiet Pali.

Cecilia started singing at a very early age and represented Limpopo Province on national level at the FET Band SASCE school competitions from 2009-2012. She is regularly involved in community projects, singing as soloist at the National Choir Festival.

She was chosen as one of six singers to take part in the Joburg International Mozart Festival (2015-17) and was selected as semi-finalist in the Mimi Coertse Singing Competition in 2015. Cecilia performed as soloist in TUT’s 2015 production of The Coronation Mass.

In 2016 she performed the

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MASABANE CECILIA RANGWANASHA: Winner of the sixth Unisa International Voice Competition 2018

role of Fiordiligi in TUT’s Cosi Fan Tutte and was awarded first prize in the Phillip H Moore Music Competition. In the same year, she won the prize for the Best Interpretation of a South African work in the finals of the ATKV-Muziqanto competition and was awarded the second prize.

Earlier this year, Cecilia came fourth in the Debora Voigt International Vocal Competition in Miami, USA. She is currently a studio member at Cape Town Opera.

ULAYMAN, 24, started playing the piano aged 12.

He became the first person to win the Lionel Bowman Beethoven Competition in Stellenbosch while still at high school.

In 2012, he was the first-prize winner of the Hennie Joubert National Piano Competition, and the Artscape and Atterbury National Piano competitions. In 2013 he won the SACS Music Competition and the piano category of ATKV-Muziq.

Sulayman was also the recipient of both the Mabel Quick Undergraduate and Overseas scholarships in 2014. In 2015, he received the Graham Beck Scholarship, enabling him to receive master classes from Jura Margulis in Salzburg.

In 2016 Sulayman won third prize at ATKV-Muziq and second prize at the Olive Lieberz Piano Competition. In 2017, he was awarded first prize at the Fine Music Radio Music Bur-

was actively involved in creating the newly formed ‘Musiqanto’ .

Enrolled for post-doctoral studies at the University of Radboud in Holland, she is currently the director of music at Oakhill School. See the stellar young musos’ CVs below.

• Doors at Ouland Royale open at 6pm on Friday June 15 and the concert starts at 6:30pm sharp (no late admissions). The ticket price of R300 incudes a complimentary glass of wine and canapes upon arrival.

Buy yours from Barnie at The Market Square Info Kiosk (044 533 3219 / 082 744 1884) or by EFT to The PlettAid Foundation, FNB Plett (code 210514) acc no 62048095063 (ref: your name/info@plettaid.org).

SULAYMAN HUMAN: Winner of the 2018 ATKV (Afrikaans Language and Cultural Association) Muziq-prize

sary Competition and most recently the first prize at ATKV-Muziq 2018.

He has received masterclasses from international pianists such as André Watts, Anton Nel, Antonio Pompa-Baldi, Jura Margulis, Ilya Friedberg, Aviram Reichert, Leslie Howard, and Marina Lomazov.

In 2017, Sulayman was invited to perform Chopin’s E Minor Piano Concerto under the baton of Gerben Grooten. He leaves SA in September to further his studies in the States.

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NEWS & VIEWS

23 May 2018

CXPRESS

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Don’t fix it if it ain’t broken - but Bitou’s new tourism plan seems set on doing that A proposed tourism bylaw by Bitou Municipality has sparked massive outcry from residents, tourism stakeholders, and business owners in Plett - YOLANDÉ STANDER reports

OST of the criticism to the proposed bylaw is around several aspects, including the establishment of a new tourism board; the composition of the board which leaves the decision making largely in the hands of the municipality; and the registration of tourism businesses with a tourism organisation.

Subsequent “fees, charges and tariffs” will be payable, while the proposed bylaw also includes a penalties clause, which includes fines or jail time for those who do not comply.

One of the biggest issues is that the burden of these “fees” would be carried by tourists, sparking fears that the industry would then become less competitive.

“Tourism is the lifeblood of our beautiful town and tampering with this vital economic driver could spell disaster for Plett,” said local resident Joanne Barrett, who has been campaigning for the town's tourism body to remain independent.

Barrett has also initiated a petition against the bylaw, which has been signed by more than 2,000 people.

The proposed bylaw seemingly proposes that the tourism function become an “in-house” endeavour. It is currently open for public comment, objections and representations (see p4).

According to the draft, the bylaw is designed to “administer its [the municipality's] executive authority in respect of local tourism-related matters to regulate the involvement of the community in the effective administration of local tourism”.

“This by-law was drafted without any input from Plett Tourism or the Plett Accommodation Association (PAA) - both with substantial member numbers.

This is bad news,” a member of both bodies, who did not want to be named, said.

The draft bylaw suggests the establishment of a tourism board headed by a rep-

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resentative of the municipal council, nominated by the mayor to serve as chairman of the board.

Other members would include an official of the municipality designated by the municipal manager, a representative of Plett Tourism Association nominated by the association, and nominated representatives from within the community.

“We do not need a new board to be formed - the existing one has done a fantastic job and there is no reason for it not to continue or be replaced. The board member allocation is simply unacceptable and is clearly only benefiting a select few municipal officials.

‘The municipality would control tourism, appoint a board and a chairman... the board would determine the budget and the priority of spend’ “We need people with a tourism and marketing background, the business chamber, restaurants, hotels and other establishments on the board - people who are part of the community and who have the required tourism experience.”

The draft bylaw proposes that the board be responsible for, among others, advising the municipality on the establishment, maintenance and upgrade of tourist facilities. It will also be tasked with the marketing of Bitou as a tourist destination and the charging of fees or tariffs to stock the “Tourism Fund”.

It is these “fees, charges or tariffs” in particular that have struck a nerve with locals. The bylaw suggests that these charges be imposed on visitors making use of tourist facilities.

All tourism establishments will also be required to become members of a municipal accredited tourism organisation. The tour-

ism organisations will then have to collect these fees, charges or tariffs from the establishments and pay the funds over to Bitou.

It is unclear which tourism organisations will be accredited and what the accreditation requirements would be.

Other clauses that have sparked outcry include a search and seizure clause as well as a penalties clause that includes fines and even imprisonment for those who do not comply with provisions of the bylaw.

Plett Tourism chairman Peter Wallington said they would be submitting a formal response shortly and were engaging with political, business and tourism stakeholders.

“We are confident that the correct solution will be reached,” Wallington said. He has urged all who have an interest in tourism and Plett’s future to submit their views to the municipal manager, as called for in a municipal notice.

He added that the proposed tourism bylaw ignored the brand-building work done by Plett Tourism over the past five years.

He said they opposed several aspects of the proposed bylaw, including the fact that the municipality would control tourism, appoint a board, and a chairman. The proposed bylaw said that the board would determine the budget and the priority of spend.

Wallington further said the bylaw seemed to suggest the municipality would also, in any case, not be bound by advice from the board or board members, and no reporting mechanism would be in place.

“The Plett Tourism Association was formed after an extensive consultation process and research of needs.”

The board was elected with representatives of the tourism industry, business stakeholders and two appointed municipal mem-

bers. “There is also transparency through regular operational and financial reports.”

Wallington said they opposed compulsory fees, charges or tariffs to fund projects determined by the municipality, but supported the principle of a funding mechanism for projects determined by Plett Tourism, as it executed a destinationmarketing strategy sup-

ported by a wide range of stakeholders.

Wallington added the bylaw was silent on Plett Tourism’s role and who would actually do the destination marketing. “It is also silent on who will run the tourism information office.

“We are in support of destination marketing remaining with Plett Tourism, and we would welcome being enabled to promote the

maintenance of standards with members. At present we don’t have the power, capacity or budget to do this.

“The tourism organisation is not the appropriate vehicle to collect fees, charges or tariffs, nor to hand over ownership data, nor report establishments not registered.”

Wallington said the search and seizure clause and the To page 4

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CXPRESS

NEWS & VIEWS

23 May 2018

Knysna calls for valuation roll inspection and objections NYSNA Municipality gave notice in terms of the Municipal Property Rates Act that the Supplementary Valuation Roll 01 for the financial year 1 July 2017 to 30 June 2022 is open for public inspection until June 28, from Mondays to Friday during working hours.

The valuation roll is available on the municipal website at www.knysna.gov.za or members of the public can call in at the Knysna Customer Care Centre, Sedgefield municipal office, Belvidere or Karatara offices, as well as the libraries in Rheenendal, Hornlee and Joodse Kamp.

The municipality further invites “any owner of property or other person who

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so desires to lodge an objection with the municipal manager in respect of any matter reflected in, or omitted from, the Supplementary Valuation Roll within the above-mentioned period”.

Attention is specifically drawn to the fact that in terms of Section 50(2) of the Act, an objection must be in relation to a specific individual property and not against the Valuation Roll as such.

Completed forms must be returned before 12 noon on Monday June 28 at any of the aforementioned venues. Alternatively it can be emailed or faxed to 086 215 4818 or emailed to valua tions@knysna.gov.za - objections will not be entertained by the municipality

unless timeously lodged on prescribed objection forms and at a.m. venues.

As per Section 49(c) of the Municipal Property Rates Act, the municipality must serve a notice by mail (ordinary or other), on every owner of property listed in the valuation roll with an extract of the valuation roll pertaining to that owner’s property.

These notices are now in the process of being prepared and distributed. If a ratepayers did not receive such a notice by mail or email, please check the municipal website and/or physical valuation rolls as mentioned to verify all listed information.

Phone Gloria Siko on 044 302 6453 for further details.

Head-on collision near Kwano claims Yolandé Stander two lives EVERAL children were injured and two people lost their lives in a horrific head-on collision on the national road at the western approach to Plettenberg Bay over the weekend.

Plett police spokesman captain Marlene Pieterse said the accident happened on the N2 near KwaNokuthula just before 2:30pm on Sunday.

“It is alleged that a white Toyota Quantum with a CX-registration number and a silver Opel Corsa bakkie, also CX-registered, collided head-on,” Pieterse said, added that following the collision, both vehicles veered off the road and

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STREWN ON THE VERGE: Traffic chief Kenny Africa confirmed on Sunday that the driver and passenger of a white Quantum were killed, while the driver of the other car sustained slight injuries - eight children were found lying on the grass next to the road and some of them were transported to Knysna Hospital for treatment

landed on their left sides on the verge.

“Eight children, between the ages of four and 18 years old, were found lying on the grass next to the KwaNokuthula fence.

Some of the injured children were transported to Knysna Hospital for medical treatment.”

Pieterse confirmed that two people were certified dead on the scene by ambulance personnel.

“At this stage it is unclear what caused the accident.

A case of culpable homicide was opened for investigation at the Plettenberg Bay police station.”

Garden Route Media

Add your voice to prevent ‘tourism capture’ N a statement headed ‘Reject the municipal bylaw as it presently stands support Plett Tourism and let’s build on what we have achieved’ and disseminated far and wide, the body calls on role-players and interested parties to support its opposition of the proposed tourism bylaw as it is presently worded.

Apart from previouslymentioned objections, it highlights the apparent termination of Plett Tourism’s role with no reasons being given, nor with any regard for what has been achieved over the past five years and for the ongoing work in progress.

One of many issues in-

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cludes the fact that Plett Tourism’s funding ceases end June - this while the Plett Arts Festival is due to run from June 25 to July 9.

“We will formally comment on the bylaw as it currently stands and propose an alternative solution which builds on the success of Plett Tourism’s work of the past five years, rather than discarding it, as the bylaw seeks to do,” reads the statement.

“Destination management, brand building and marketing require medium to long-term commitment, planning and execution.

This is not the environment in which Plett Tourism has been able to work

in recent years: operating budget cuts and a slow but continuous ‘capture’ of Plett Tourism’s previously agreed areas of work (to the point of a parallel ‘tourism department’ being in play) have taken their toll on the organisation’s work and performance.

“We do not think this is in the interests of Plettenberg Bay, its tourism industry or those who seek employment in the town,” it states.

Readers are urged to email objections or comments, as soon as possible but not later than June 8, to jmussa@plett.gov.za (in the interests of transparency, please copy info@plett tourism.com).

If it ain’t broken - Bitou’s new tourism plan...

From page 3 fines and jail terms for those who are non-compliant needed to be removed.

The unnamed Plett Tourism/PAA member said one should not “fix something that isn’t broken”.

“The tourism function was in-house in the past and did not work. Tourism was at an all-time low. Five years later, tourism is no longer as seasonal as it used to be. There are tourists visiting the area throughout

the year and that is as a result of the work Plett Tourism has done.”

Bitou Municipality failed to respond to queries about the bylaw before this edition went to print.

Garden Route Media

NEWS & VIEWS

23 May 2018

Licence centre broadens local horizons Words & photo: Khaya Mbesi

WO Plett ladies were overjoyed to get their learners licences at the brand new court and traffic facility in New Horizons. Siyanda Nonkqulo and Zandile Ntshabase Yakhe both live in KwaNokuthula - on the far side of the N2, but close enough to reach on foot.

Ntshabase says she did some exercises to relieve her tension before the exam, so was stress free by the time she sat down to write the test.

“I saw what I had studied and realised that I’d always been reading road signs. I was mostly encouraged by drivers when I used to ask them what

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WE ARE LEARNED! Proudly showing off their learner’s licence certificates are Siyanda Nonkqulo, left, and Zandile Ntshabase Yakhe outside the library in New Horizons

the different signs meant.

“I passed the test because I really want to do learn how to drive. I want to buy a car and drive it myself with a big ‘learner’ sign in the back!

“Now that I’ve passed, my life is going forward no more reverse for me!”

Ntshabase is working as

a coordinator at Grassroots - an NGO that visits crèches in the vicinity. She was always doing these rounds on foot, but now she can see herself driving a car while doing her job even more effectively.

Siyanda is a student at Southern Cape College, and she says passing her

leaner’s license is the best thing so far about 2018.

“I was confident while writing that I would pass the test. I will be doing my driver’s license by June.

Most advertised vacancies require people with driver’s licences, so it is an advantage to have one.

“I want to urge the youth not to focus only on their school work but to learn to multitask. The world demands many diverse skills,” says the Management Assistance student.

Bitou municipal communication officer Howard Swartz says the driver’s license testing centre was launched on January 10. It is located at the New Horizons library and operates Mondays to Thursdays from 7:30am

Bitou 10 Foundation: school support for excellence OR the past 12 years, the Bitou 10 Education and Development Foundation has been committed to supporting and enhancing education and development for teachers and learners residing in Plettenberg Bay. Explains communications officer Veronique Fortune: “In consultation with the WCED Circuit team, principals of the 11 government schools and 30 ECD sites in the area, we’ve implemented several programmes that have most positively impacted the lives of thousands of learners and teachers.

“With the amazing help of so many of our Bitou community members as well as individual and corporate funders - we have been able to change the education journey of a great many learners and their teachers.”

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B10F impact during 2017 • Early Childhood Development - 142 teachers and 1,239 learners • Literacy Development 378 learners • Maths Development - 25 teachers and 1,398

E-LEARNING: Nowhere can the computer play as important a role as in the classroom, where important tech skills are part and parcel of the learning process

LITERACY DEVELOPMENT: Reading and English language tuition goes a long way to bolster general comprehension

OCCUPATIONAL THERAPY: Workshops help teachers to help those kids who need a little extra support

PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT: The Six Bricks programme teaches important lessons in the line of play

learners • Youth Development 2,155 learners • Professional Development - 368 teachers and 2,153 learners • Learner Support: Therapy - 15 teachers and 142 learners • Science Enrichment one teacher, six learners

To continue running these programmes, the team at B10F appeals to readers for support.

“Your investment will ensure that we continue to provide support to the many learners and teachers in Bitou. By investing in a child here, we invest in the future of Bitou.

BUCO plettenberg bay: Cnr N2 Highway & Rietvlei Road, Plettenberg Bay, Tel: (044) 501 3800 BUCO Knysna: Meubel Street, Industrial Area, Knysna, Tel: (044) 302 2400 BUCO South Africa

www.buco.co.za

Can we afford not to?”

Banking details for direct deposits are: Nedbank Knysna (branch code 108914), current account number 104 230 1597. Visit www.bitou10 foundation.co.za or contact B10F manager Sooneela Naina on 044 533 6466 for further details.

CXPRESS to 3:30pm, and Fridays to 1pm.

“Only 20 candidates can write learner’s license examination at a time. We are currently building a driving testing station in the same area.”

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Learner’s license tests cost R68 and two ID photos an additional R33; renewal of driver’s licenses cost R140, PDPs R220, and temporary driver’s licenses R140.

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CXPRESS

NEWS & VIEWS

23 May 2018

Notice Board HE Knysna Plett Concert Series presents pianist Antonio PompaBaldi on May 28 at the DRC hall in Fichat Street at 7:30pm. The Italianborn virtuoso pianist makes a welcome return visit to Knysna, where he has enchanted appreciative audiences in the past.

Antonio has performed all over the world with the top orchestras and conductors, including a triumphant debut in Beijing. He gave

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master classes at the China National Conservatory, where he was named Honorary Professor. A Steinway artist, Antonio is president of the jury for the International Russian Piano Music Competition in San Jose, California.

On Monday night he will play works by Hummel, Chabrier and Poulenc with songs by Edith Piaf.

Tickets cost R150 for adult non-members and scholars pay R30.

• The PAWS Car Boot Sale is coming up on Sunday June 3 from 9am to 1pm in the Market Square car park. All stallholders are urged to book their places to add to the wide variety of goods on offer - household linen, kitchenware, small appliances and ornaments, clothing and toys, DVDs, books and much more. A R100 donation to PAWS allows you to sell as much as you like. Call Margie on 044 533 6262 for details.

NEWS & VIEWS

23 May 2018

CXPRESS

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This drill makes role-models of regular Crags kids

MASTERING THE MARCH: It takes hours of dedicated training to get up to national competition level, which members of The Crags Drill Squad are striving for as their next challenge awaits in August, when they will compete with brand new blazers to be handed over on June 9

HE Crags Drill Squad is part of an all-inclusive programme to build confidence in local children while instilling discipline and self-respect, as well as a sense of pride and responsibility.

Sergeant Byron de Vos, SAPS Sector 3 manager, initiated the programme, and he is assisted by coordinator Yvette Wilschut and The Crags Primary headmaster Mr Louw. Initially consisting of only 27 children in 2017, the squad has now grown to 55 boys and girls.

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Says Yvette: “We have improved tremendously since last year when we were the greenest of novices in the competitive arena. Even so, we held our heads high and came second in one of the Cape Town competitions we participated in.

“Our first competition this year is on August 11 and boy are we ready!”

She explains that they were unable to compete in full squad uniform last year, as the children did not have blazers. This year, Bitou Municipali-

ty has sponsored blazers for each child and these will be handed over by mayor Peter Lobese at a special ceremony on June 9 at The Crags Primary School from 1pm.

“Major general Reddy will attend along with Plett SAPS station commander colonel Michaels, as well as Education Department Circuit 4 team manager Suzette de Villiers. And once the blazers have been handed over, we will do our first exhibition in full squad uniform,” she enthuses.

Readers are invited to come witness this auspicious occasion along with the squad’s esteemed guests on the day - everyone is welcome. The kids practise two to three times a week and are a tough, dedicated and determined bunch who will need - and put to good use - all the support they can get.

“This programme should really be introduced at all schools to create better role-models for children.

The proof is in the pud-

ding, it works!” concludes Yvette, adding that as registered NPO they are now raising funds for their away stays.

If you can find it in your heart and your budget, donations can be paid directly to The Crags Drill Squad, Standard Bank Plett (branch code 050714), account number 186 856 199. All monies go 100% and directly to the children, as there are no office costs or salaries, or a salaried fundraiser.

Newsflash This coming weekend, Cape Town-based drill squad veteran Dawood Davids of eTV’s SA Heroes fame will once again be on hand to teach the eager Crags kids a new routine, which they hope to master during training sessions on Saturday before two exhibitions on Sunday the 27th. Diarise 11am at The Market Square and 12 noon in Plett CBD, when The Crags Drill Squad will display their new routine down Main Street.

Meet the man in charge of Plett Secondary School UAN Jullies was appointed as principal at Plett Secondary School at the start of the current school term.

Having served as deputy head for a number of years and acting head for former principal Bowers, he has officially taken over the reins in April.

Originally from Oudtshoorn, Mr Jullies is an Honours graduate who specialised in Education and Mathematics, completing his degree at the University of the Free State in 2003. He started teaching at Plett Secondary in 2006 and has resided in Plettenberg Bay ever since.

Along the line he met fellow Oudtshoorn local Gina, and with their first-

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FAITH ENABLES EVERYTHING: Headmaster Jullies wants his school to be instrumental in teaching not only academics but also respect and values to last a lifetime

born son now just over six months old, it’s not only school matters that keep him on his toes at the very moment.

He thanks his governing body, staff, and the entire school community for their loyal support.

“We need to take back our school and make it an institute of excellence.

We strive to make our community a proud one, where parents are proud to place their children here - in a school reflecting the necessary respect and values, loyal to our motto and loyal to education at large,” says Mr Jullies.

A man of strong convictions, he firmly believes that with faith all things are possible.

…and the youngest member of his teaching staff ASEEGH Everson at 23 is not only the youngest staff member but also the first Plett Sec learner to return to work at his old alma mater.

Born in Athlone, Faseegh’s family moved to Plett when he was a boy.

He clearly remembers his favourite teachers, some of whom are now fellow staff members.

“Mrs Sarah Hendricks was the cornerstone of my high school years, and miss Shirley Joseph made a lasting impression on my life when writing me the most beautiful good luck-card before I tackled my final matric exams at Plett Secondary in 2012.”

When still at school, he asked if he could moti-

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vate fellow learners during prize-giving evenings.

His request was granted, and he fulfilled this role from Grade 10 to 12.

He has always regarded school as a safe haven where he could arm himself with something nobody would ever be able to take away from him his education - and this is the message he wishes to share with the youth.

Having introduced Fish Hoek High students to Google Classroom, he is now fighting for the incorporation of computer science into the Plett Sec school curriculum.

“I am excited about tech developments in education and am honoured to be a crucial part thereof.”

TECH-ORIENTED: Former Plett Sec student Faseegh Everson is fighting for the incorporation of computer studies as part of the local school’s curriculum Photo: Leigh Dunn

Read CXPRESS online at www.cxpress.co.za

Est.1990

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CXPRESS

INTERVAL

23 May 2018

Being a fly on the wall in class She’s not completely wrong…

During a sixth grade sex education class, the young professor asked: “What happens to a young woman during puberty?”

There was no reply from her students, so she rephrased the question: “What happens to young women as they mature?”

One girl raised her hand and answered: “We start carrying purses?”

A final exam miracle Just before the final exam in a college finance class, a less-than-stellar student approached the professor.

“Can you tell me what grade I would need to get on the exam to pass the course?” he asked.

The professor gave him the bad news: “The exam is worth 100 points. You would need 113 points to earn a D.” “Okay,” the student said.

“And how many points would I need to get a C?” Give me a sentence…

In a grammar lesson in eighth grade Mrs Murray said: “Paul, give me a sentence with a direct object.”

Paul replied: “Everyone thinks you are the best teacher in the school.”

“Thank you, Paul,” responded Mrs Murray, “but what is the object?”

“To get the best mark possible,” said Paul.

Children are quick • Teacher: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ‘I’.

Millie: I is...

Teacher: No, Millie. Always say, ‘I am’.

Millie: All right… I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

• Teacher: George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted it.

Now, Louis, do you know why his father didn’t punish him?

Louis: Because George still had the axe in his hand?

• Teacher: So, Simon, tell me frankly - do you say prayers before eating?

Simon: No sir, I don’t have to - my mom is a good cook.

The perfect wife A teacher was talking about marriage in class.

Teacher: “What kind of wife would you like, Johnny?”

Johnny: “I would want a wife like the moon.”

Teacher: “Wow, what a choice... do you want her to be beautiful and calm like the moon?”

Johnny: “No, I want her to arrive at night and disappear in the morning.”

On blood circulation A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said: “Now students, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it and I should turn red in the face.”

“Yes,” the pupils said.

“Then why is it that while I am standing upright the blood doesn’t run into my feet?”

A boy said: “It’s because your feet aren’t empty.”

A birthday gift for the wife RANK tells his wife: “For your birthday, how about a new car?”

“No, thanks,” his wife, Martha, replies.

Frank: “How about a new boat?”

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Martha: “No.” Frank: “Well then, what do you want?”

Martha: “A divorce.”

Frank: “I wasn’t planning on spending that much money!”

Old mathematicians never die... they just lose some of their funtions.

Questions and answers…

• Why don’t blind people skydive?

Because it scares the hell out of their dogs.

• What’s the best way to make a small fortune in the stock market?

Start off with a big one.

• Why do bakers start working so early in the morning?

Because they knead dough.

• Why are boardwalk models so thin?

It’s so the outfit will look the same when you see it on a clothing hanger at the store.

• What is the definition of ‘Consciousness’?

That annoying time between naps…

• What did the fisherman say to the magician?

“Pick a cod, any cod!”

SOCIAL SCENE

People, places & events

23 May 2018

CXPRESS

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ROYAL WEDDING, RIGHT HERE IN PLETT: These formidable ladies were part of a select and lucky few invited to the Deans abode on Keurbooms Heights, where each second of Saturday’s royal nuptials and accompanying pomp and ceremony were scrutinised and eagle-eyed with equal parts solemnity and hilarity. Rosie Deans - pictured at back with, from left, Alexa McNauhton, Di Valentine and Nicci Spice - was as nigh-perfect an hostess as ever, with trays of cucumber sarnies overflowing for tea, followed by a post-royal-kiss Coronation Chicken luncheon. Husband Paul had the company of four good men to balance the scales ever so slightly. But finally, the day belonged to the ladies and their lovely hats, some of which even rivalled the multitude of milliners’ creations in St George’s Chapel...

LEARNING THEIR LINES: This photo by Lindo Hauptfleisch won the junior category in the Plett PhotoFUNatics May competition, themed ‘A Learning Curve’ and incorporating Point of View, Depth of Field, Perspective, Leading Lines, and Motion. Says convenor Derek Rushton: “I thought this may challenge most members, and with investigation and ingenuity everyone came to the party. Well done to our ‘Best of the Best’ Eileen Covarr for winning the senior category with ‘Shoes Up’ [which adorns the cover of this edition] and junior Lindo Hauptfleisch for ‘Leading Lines’, pictured at left. Lindo explains: “Driving down a farm road in the Little Karoo near Ladismith, I spotted this blue agave near blooming. Photographing it from down below I managed to get the leaves pointing towards the crown.” Says Eileen about her winning pic: “Some fellow photographers and I were attending a Photographic Society of South Africa Congress in Mykonos. We spotted a boat with its horizontal lines, and leading lines running towards the boat. One of our group lay down with his feet facing towards me, while I lay on my stomach and shot from this angle to make a real fun photo, which I converted to Monochrome to make the lines more dramatic. I hoped to leave the viewer wondering what the scene was all about.” FUN indeed! To find out more about their gatherings, check out the PhotoFUNatics Facebook page or email derek_rushton@hotmail.com for details.

JOBURG HERE WE COME! Following WP Trials held in Cape Town during February, these members of the SA JKA Karate (Eden District - Knysna and Plett) team will participate in the SA JKA National Championships to be held at Johannesburg’s Standard Bank Arena on May 25 and 26. Congrats and good luck to, from left, Dylan Jansen, Whinny Orpen, Gideon Mukendi, Jordyn Orpen, Sean Magson and Diana Nortje, pictured here with their instructor, Sensei John Peach, at right. Call 083 577 7146 or email peachpro@gmail. com if you have any enquiries regarding JKA Karate, or follow them on Facebook (http://fb.me/ karate.knysna.plett) for additional information.

ENDING SA TOUR ON A PLETT NOTE: St Peter’s Anglican Church hosted the final appearance on May 20 of the Hope College Chapel Choir before their return to the USA. They had been touring South Africa for the preceding fortnight, and performed at various educational institutions in Soweto before teaming up with the Nelson Mandela University choir in Port Elizabeth for a show on May 19. After their final formal appearance at St Peter’s, they made a final melodious stop at Harkerville Primary on Monday May 21. Members concurred that they enjoyed their Plett stay, with the Robberg hike a highlight and much appreciation for the friendly faces, the beaches, and their amazing accommodations at The Plettenberg Hotel.

Conductor Brad Richmond congratulated all their graduates who would be leaving the choir at the end of this year, encouraging them to follow their dreams, and to visit South Africa again soon.

VOTE FOR PAWS AND MAKE A DOG’S DAY: Woolworths just launched its R1-million Vote4Charity Challenge and requests that all MySchool supporters vote for their favourite charity. Plett Animal Welfare Service (PAWS) is a nominated MySchool Card beneficiary, which means they get a donation every month based on purchases made by those who have nominated PAWS as their charity. Says board member Marsja Hall-Green: “We now have a chance to boost our income by participating in this challenge! We are appealing to all our PAWS friends who are Woolies MySchool Card holders to vote for PAWS. For every vote we will receive R5 and will also stand a chance to win a prize of a professional promotional video made to support our fundraising efforts, valued at R25,000. If you share your vote on social media or email and get others to join in and vote for PAWS, we can earn an additional R5 for every referral.” Five lucky voters also stand to win R5,000 in gift cards - a real win-win situation! Voting is now open, so visit www.myschool.co.za/vote4charity or www.vote4charity.co.za and vote online for PAWS today! Pictured here are some of the dogs (along with their humans) that receive a range of treatments during regular PAWS spay days. All of them will face a brighter future with your vote of support. Also see the PAWS and KAWS adoption ads on page 10.

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CXPRESS

Paws

Plett Animal Welfare Service

23 May 2018

CLASSIFIEDS

ON THE SOAPBOX

23 May 2018

Letters to the Editor

Email: editor@cxpress.co.za - Fax: 044 533 0852 - PO Box 1449, Plett 6600

Remembering departed mothers - and Tootsie’s decade-long joyride in our boot In my opinion, mothers who are no longer with us should most definitely be remembered, and I am sure many of you do just that. My mom, Tootsie, was one of a kind.

She was undeniably horizontally challenged but had a figure that Venus would have envied that is until she fell on her 40th birthday and broke her leg so badly that she could never walk properly again. This, however, never affected her zany sense of humour.

Alas, as an only child, Dad was my hero and “she” was there to nag, cook, sew, knit or crochet. And boy, did she knit and crochet!

I didn’t really get to know her before I got married; I was engaged by 16 and married to my handsome, sporting, laughing, fun-loving late husband Jannie by the time I’d turned 17.

And all of this happened in Bloemfontein, nogal. (I think Tootsie also had a bit of a crush on Jannie, as she agreed with whatever he said.)

When we relocated to Plett, Tootsie stayed in Bloem but eventually

had to move here to live with us after she suffered a slight stroke. The huge joke was, as I remember, Jannie saying that on no account was she driving down in the car with him.

He would organise a trailer, cut out a cockpit, and she could wear a Snoopy outfit complete with leather helmet, flapping ears, and red scarf to boot. Only then would he allow her to come. Can you picture the scene?

Well, eventually Tootsie and I truly got to know each other and when she eventually fell off the perch, I decided that I could not take my leave of her ashes yet; I just needed a bit more time with her.

So I put her in the boot of my car and knowing her whacky sense of humour, I believe that she had a great time there. Tootsie, I am sure, brought me lots of luck with my clients.

Little did they know that while they were looking at property investments, Tootsie was there rooting for me from the boot. She had not travelled much in her lifetime, so we took her everywhere.

I remember one trip to Cape Town when a security guard asked Jannie to open the boot. He refused, but the guard insisted so Jannie replied: “No I can’t because my mom-in-law is in there.”

The guard was not to be swayed and when the boot was finally open, he asked: “So where is she?”

Can you imagine his reaction when told that she was in the big grey box with the red screw-on lid?

Nonetheless he waved us through, totally shaken.

Your reaction to this tale may vary from total disgust over our idea of making up for lost time, to finding it as hysterically funny as I am sure Tootsie did. She would have found it hilarious.

But I still feel sorry for the guard - it wasn’t fair.

The end of the story is that after 10 years with Tootsie in the boot, I decided it was time to find her a place where she was sheltered from the wind, could bask in lots of sunlight, and was nowhere near the water (she did not like the sea) - but still near enough to me.

So with great ceremony and a good speech, lots

of champagne for me (she also had her share), Tootsie received a suitable farewell. Well, almost.

Many people have asked me: “Is Tootsie still with you?” My reply is always the same: “No, she is not in the boot anymore, but I’m very sure that she is still with me, every minute of every day.”

I hope you can keep your mothers with you for a long time. Remember that they are never really gone, anyway.

Rita van Rensburg, Plett (Well Tootsie must have been quite a gal, if one considers her daughter’s indomitable spirit. These days much of Rita’s energy is being spent on a ‘Differently-abled Awareness Campaign’ in an aim to make Plett the most welcoming town in the land for people with physical challenges.

In this regard, she is requesting that readers contribute by donating their odd teacups, with or without saucers, or even coffee mugs without mates, for a yet-to-be-revealed fun event in the near future.

Call Rita on 082 560 2606 and she will arrange for collection. - Ed.)

‘Signs’ bit was funny, but bird booboo downright hilarious Your ‘English signs from around the world’ brought a much-needed smile to my face. [Turn to page 8 of the May 16 edition at www.cxpress. co.za - and if you’ve missed last week’s print edition, read ‘Hen-talk

correction’ on page 11, which will explain the next sentence.]

Better still was your ornithological ‘oops’! Unless, of course, the poor little Common Moorhen was released unharmed.

Andrew Forbes, Plett

(The producers of this movie… Oh wait: The directors of this documentary… Doh! The editors and staff of this beloved community newspaper pledge that no African Swamphen or Common Moorhen or any bird in-

between were injured or further insulted during the printing of our previous edition, CXPRESS of May 16.

And this is now most definitely the final word on these bog-dwelling twitterers. - Ed.)

Stroke now has a new indicator Blood clots and strokes, which traditionally have three indicators, can now also be recognised by asking suspected sufferers to stick out their tongues.

A scenario like this can happen to any of us easily: During a braai, a lady called Jane stumbled and took a little fall - she assured everyone that she was fine. They offered to call paramedics but she said she had just tripped over a brick because of her new shoes.

They cleaned her up and gave her a fresh plate of food. While she appeared a bit shaken up, Jane went about enjoying the rest of the evening.

But later, her husband called to say that he had taken her to the hospital where she passed away at 6pm. She had suffered a stroke at the lunch braai.

Had they known how to identify the signs of

a stroke, Jane may have been with us today.

A neurologist says that if he can get to a stroke victim within three hours, he can reverse the effects of a stroke. He claims the trick is getting a stroke recognised, diagnosed, and then getting the patient medically cared for within three hours which can be tough.

Sometimes symptoms of a stroke are difficult to identify. Unfortunately, the lack of awareness often spells disaster.

When people nearby fail to recognise the symptoms of a stroke, the victim may suffer severe brain damage. Some don't die but instead they end up in a helpless, hopeless condition.

We know that bystanders can recognise a stroke by asking three simple questions (remember the first three letters of

'stroke': S, T, R): • Ask the person to smile.

• Ask the person to talk, speaking a simple sentence coherently.

• Ask him or her to raise both arms.

If he or she has trouble with any one of these tasks, call an emergency number immediately and describe the symptoms to the dispatcher.

New advice is now to also ask the person to stick out his or her tongue. If the tongue is crooked - if it goes to one side or the other - it may also indicate a stroke.

My cardiologist friend says if everyone who gets this advice shares it with 10 people, you can bet that at least one life will be saved.

Leon Naudé, Knysna (Globally, it is estimated that approximately 7.5-million people die annually from complications

due to high blood pressure (also known as hypertension) - a condition that is responsible for as much as 50% of reported strokes and 40% of heart attacks. The Heart and Stroke Foundation of SA estimates that more than one in every three South African adults is currently living with hypertension.

The biggest challenge in overcoming this is that many people are unaware that they have the condition. Hypertension very rarely presents any symptoms in its early stages, until a severe medical crisis like a heart attack, stroke, or chronic kidney disease takes place.

We encourage all readers to make a habit of having your blood pressure tested by your doctor or at the pharmacy. May 17 was World Hypertension Day - read the full story at www.cxpress.co.za - Ed.)

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SPORT & ADVENTURE

23 May 2018

Adopt A Swimmer joins hands with Hawaii - and the world!

ATER connects souls worldwide. This was proven once again when Adopt a Swimmer (AAS) recently joined legendary Ocean Child water guru John McCarthy and swimmers from across the globe to honour and support Linda Kaiser.

One of the planet’s most accomplished island open water channel swimmers, Hawaii national Linda faces her most physical and mental challenge ever,

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since she was diagnosed with a rare form of lung cancer, now in Stage 4.

Says AAS cofounder Louise Auersperg about the May 5 gathering: “We had a turnout of 120 peeps including 60 AAS kids at Poortjies Lagoon, together with a contingent of Plett NSRI volunteers who arrived to show support.

“We raised R1,750 towards Linda’s treatment, which was deposited directly into her Go Fund

INTO THE BLUE: The Poortjies Lagoon swim in support of Linda Kaiser was attended by a crowd of eager Adopt A Swimmer kids and instructors, and a great many volunteers, most of whom are pictured below

account. Many of the children donated R5 each and made her get-well banners from all of us at Adopt A Swimmer - really heartwarming stuff!”

Louise thanks all her volunteers as well as senior life guard Alexander, who along with Sally Turner led the stronger swimmers

for a 1km wade. A second group was led by Marcia Katz, Debbie Shipley, Lynne Rothschild and Sally Anne Grunter, with Louise taking charge of the third group.

Heartfelt thanks also go to the crew at Ocean Safaris, and to hubby Peter Auersperg who is always in

the background but somehow manages to hold everything together.

“Along with John McCarthy, we plan to take one of our students to Hawaii to learn the art of open-water swimming in the not-toodistant future,” says Louise. “Alone we are a drop, together we’re an ocean.”

SABC crew to shoot Rural Splash in Plett WIMMING South Africa’s Ocean and Rural Splash programme has partnered with Eden Aquatics and Adopt a Swimmer in Plettenberg Bay, where a specialised water safety and training workshop will take place this weekend.

Sixty children from the Adopt a Swimmer programme will be attending the Ocean and Rural Splash workshop on May 26 and 27, the theory section of the workshop taking place on Saturday from 8:30 to 11:30am at Plett Surf Lifesaving Club on Central Beach, followed by the practical session in the ocean from noon onwards.

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On Sunday, the Rural Splash will take place at Poortjies Lagoon from 9:30am to 12 noon. Local qualified and registered Learn to Swim instructors and coaches as well as volunteers from various local lifesaving clubs will be in attendance.

The workshops are to be presented by Mafata Modutoane, who serves as mass participation coordinator for Swimming South Africa. Also on hand will be Clayton Bischoff and his surfing instructors, and AAS is thrilled to have the Plett Nippers aboard along with representatives from Plett NSRI Station 14 and the Ocean Safaris team.

Readers are welcome to attend the practical part of the workshop. An SABC television crew will film the event and several Garden Route-based radio stations have also shown great interest, including MC90.3FM which scheduled an interview with Louise at 8am on Friday May 25.

Apart from making a hugely positive impact on the Plett community, the collaboration between Eden Aquatics and Adopt A Swimmer will assist Swimming South Africa with its mandate of ‘Every Child a Swimmer’.

Check out the Adopt A Swimmer Facebook page for updates and videos.