6 July 2016

6 July 2016

Published every Wednesday by CXpress 2006 (Pty) Ltd - PO Box 1449, Plettenberg Bay 6600 - 6 Park Lane, Plettenberg Bay - Tel: 044 533 1004 - Fax: 044 533 0852 Email: editor@cxpress.co.za / advertising@cxpress.co.za Web page: www.cxpress.co.za Printed by Group Editors

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NSRI to the rescue p3

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This image from the famous Suzelle DIY braai pie clip is familiar to fans across the land, and you can catch the country’s best-loved guide on all things self-done and wildly innovative at Plett’s White House on July 12 as part of this year’s MAD edition of the Food Film Festival. Pull out the full programme on page 9-12.

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NEWS & VIEWS

6 July 2016

Remembering Delville Wood and the Somme in Plett on Sunday, a century down the line HIS Sunday, members of the Van Plettenberg Historical Society will remember the 100th Anniversary of the Battle of the Somme and Delville Wood with Professor Bill Nasson.

Recounts VPHS stalwart Mike Kantey: “The ill-fated Somme offensive of 1916 opened on July 1, after the horrific artillery bombardment had commenced by June 24.

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“The High Command hoped that the preliminary week’s barrage would totally destroy the enemy trenches, but the shelling completely failed to neutralise the German infantry in their dug-outs.”

Knysna historian Ian Uys in his 1986 contribution to The South African Military History Journal (Vol 7 No 2), entitled ‘The South Africans at Delville Wood’,

told of the staggering toll taken by this offensive.

“The attackers, hurled against the strongest points of the German defences, suffered in excess of 54,000 casualties in the first day’s fighting, of whom over 19,000 were killed.” (See also ‘Rollcall: The Delville Wood Story’ by Uys Publications 1991.)

“One of the centre-pieces for the Battle of the Somme

in World War I was the heroic defence of the forest of Delville Wood,” says Kantey, “and we are very privileged indeed to have one of our greatest modern historians describe the battle for us at the Angling Club on Keurbooms River on Sunday morning July 10 - a date which coincides perfectly with the 100th Anniversary of this battle.”

See the advert on this page.

Meet Bill Nasson, the modern historian ORN in Cape Town, Professor Bill Nasson completed his studies in the United Kingdom, and was appointed King George V Professor of History at the University of Cape Town before moving to Stellenbosch University in 2009.

As an internationallyknown historian and prizewinning writer, he has held visiting appointments in

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England, Australia, the United States, and Ireland; he was sometime editor of The Journal of African History, co-edited The Cambridge History of South Africa, and is a general editor of 1914-1918 online, the world’s leading web-based encyclopaedia of World War I. Professor Nasson’s more recent books include Britannia’s Empire (2006),

Springboks on the Somme (2007), The War for South Africa (2010), South Africa at War 1939-1945 (2012), and The War Comes Home, co-edited with Albert Grundlingh (2013).

His latest book, WWI and the People of South Africa, was published by Tafelberg in 2014.

The Professor also claims to be a confirmed life member of the Peter Cook Appreciation Society, but the historical veracity of this statement has yet to be verified by the evidence…

WHERE WAS I? Professor Nasson’s most recent book, ‘WWI and the People of South Africa’

SHARING HISTORY WITH THE WORLD: Professor Bill Nasson has presented South African war stories and shared other historical secrets with audiences in the UK, the States, and Down Under

NEWS & VIEWS

6 July 2016

CXPRESS

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NSRI saves the day when gale force winds hit several craft on Knysna lagoon A resident freelance cleaner had her maiden voyage aboard the NSRI rescue boat Colorpress Rescuer when wind speeds on Knysna Lagoon picked up to 65km per hour within an hour on Friday morning July 1 - CXPRESS was there to capture the action ORDELIA Mamani contracts to various private homeowners and holiday rental agents in the Knysna area. One of her tasks is to service Houseboat Myrtle - a stationary vessel moored on Knysna Lagoon, which is only accessible by means of a tender with one outboard motor.

Mamani was dropped off at Myrtle at around 10:30 on Friday morning. The sun was shining and a gentle breeze was blowing. The plan was for the deckhand, Jane Doe*, to proceed to the harbour, collect water for the reservoir aboard Myrtle and return to collect her.

Within minutes of dropping Mamani, wind speeds began to increase to the degree that Doe was unable to dock at the regular mooring in Knysna Quays Harbour. She made an emergency docking alongside the famous John Benn river cruiser, which was unable to leave the harbour due to the gale force wind.

Within the hour it became

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PHEW! Cordelia Mamani is visibly relieved after being brought safely ashore by NSRI crew members - Photo: Candice Ludick

clear that it would be impossible to return to collect Mamani by tender until the wind had dropped considerably. She was effectively stranded until at least 8pm when the gale was predicted to drop by online weather forecasts.

The wind speed kept increasing with severe gusts shaking the houseboat

and causing it to spin on its mooring. Fortunately, Mamani was wearing a lifejacket and was prepared to brave the storm and await collection when it became safe to do so.

Doe was optimistic that the wind would drop but had grown concerned for Mamani’s well-being as gust after gust pummelled

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the houseboat.

In the meantime, the NSRI had been called to assist a boat engaged in a fishing contest, as well as a yacht moored at Knysna Yacht Club jetty to return to the safety of the harbour.

Doe asked the NSRI to assist by collecting Mamani to avoid the danger of a treacherous crossing and the potential threat that she would be stranded overnight.

The French guests who were to be occupying Myrtle for the weekend were good sports and were happy to be accommodated in an alternative self-catering unit in town overnight.

Once the NSRI rescue crew had towed the fishing boat to the harbour and assisted the yacht by towing it off the jetty so that it could enter the harbour on its own steam, they collected an extremely relieved Mamani off Houseboat Myrtle and returned her to the safety of the Knysna Quays Harbour, where Doe waited with bated breath.

--Knysna NSRI Deputy Station Commander Marc van Staden said: “The lagoon hasn’t been whipped up like that in a while,� adding that “the NSRI is always happy to assist where possible.�

All is well that ends well.

Mamani was returned to safety. The wind dropped during the night and the French family were able to enjoy the rest of their week-

end safely on the Knysna Lagoon as of Saturday morning when it was safe for them to make the journey by tender. *Not her real name.

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NEWS & VIEWS

6 July 2016

News on reshuffled MayCo and next State of Bitou address

Last month, mayoral spokesman Manfred van Rooyen officially confirmed that, as mandated

by Bitou mayor Memory Booysen, the Executive Mayoral Committee of Bitou Municipality had been reshuffled, effective from June 1. “This has been done in accordance with the discretionary powers assigned to an Executive Mayor in terms of applicable and relevant legislation,” said Van Rooyen. “Councillor Wayne Craig, ward councillor for Ward 2, replaces Elaine Paulse, who remains an ordinary PR councillor on the Bitou Council for the Democratic Alliance.

Councillor Craig will occupy the portfolio until the end of the term of the current MayCo and Council.” Pictured from left is the reshuffled Executive Mayoral Committee of deputy mayor Romeo Koeberg, cllr Nevelle de Waal, mayor Memory Booysen and cllr Wayne Craig. Van Rooyen also advised of the mayor’s State of the Town address on Thursday July 7 at Piesang Valley Community Hall from 5-6pm. “At this occasion, cllr Booysen will report to various local business leaders, stakeholders, role-players, opinion-makers and invited guests from all social and economic sectors of Bitou Municipality. This delivery scorecard will cover the major capital and operational deliverables of the financial year that ended on June 30 and will also reflect on successes and challenges. In addition, the report will take a view of the whole term of this current Council (2011-2016) and unpack all its critical milestones and achievements. Importantly, the mayor will reflect on the challenges the incoming Council faced when it assumed office on May 2011.” This meeting is one of the last formal events to be addressed by the current Bitou mayor before Local Government Elections on August 3.

News Briefs • Warrant officer Tersia Meiklejohn from Human Resources at Plettenberg Bay Police station is urgently looking for Duran Kerspuy, the son of late Captain CJ Janties, who is required to come and sign a document at her office. Anyone who can assist with information regarding Kerspuy’s whereabouts is requested to contact her office on 044 501 1911.

• The Western Cape Department of Health’s Forensic Pathology Services indicated that 11 people died on the province’s roads over the weekend. Provincial Traffic Services arrested 16 motorists for allegedly driving under the influence of alcohol on July 1 and 2 - eight were arrested in the

George service area, three in Somerset West, three in Worcester, one in Swellendam, and one in Knysna.

Four other arrests were made - three for reckless and negligent driving in Somerset West and Beaufort West, and one in connection with false documentation in George.

Breath testing was performed on 1,717 drivers at 23 alcohol blitz roadblocks across the province.

The highest breath alcohol reading was recorded in Caledon at 1,12mg of alcohol/1,000ml of breath, i.e. four times the legal limit of 0,24mg/1,000ml.

A total of 2,440 vehicles were screened for speeding and 605 speeding offences were recorded. Fines of

R189,250 were issued for a variety of reasons.

The 11 road fatalities included the death of a driver close to Garden Route Mall on the George N2 on July 3.

• The NSRI urges readers to be cautious around the coast. Monday was the peak of the new moon spring tide, meaning a higher than normal high tide, lower than normal low tide, and stronger than normal rip currents would occur around the coast for the five days to follow.

“Particularly because of the school holidays and warm sunny days ahead, we are urging the public to be aware of the spring tide and to be extremely cautious around the coast,” said the July 4 statement.

NEWS & VIEWS

6 July 2016

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CXPRESS

Knysna ANC mayoral candidate’s top priority is his community’s welfare HE Knysna branch of the African National Congress (ANC) introduced members of the media and supporters to its mayoral candidate, Mzukisi Victor Molosi, and other candidates for next month’s elections during a session at the party HQ in Main Street on Friday July 1.

ANC National Executive Committee member and Tourism Minister Derek Hanekom was on hand to explain the terms on which mayoral candidates were considered.

“The finalisation of all candidates of the ANC is the culmination of an extensive process of internal democracy, which placed at its core the wishes of our people and structures,” he said.

Molosi, who is also the ANC candidate for Ward 8, was described as a longstanding ANC member and community activist in Knysna.

“Our candidate held various positions within the ANC structures and is currently the Deputy Secretary of the ANC in the Southern Cape Klein Karoo Region.

He is currently serving the community in different capacities in soccer, on the Small Farmers Association and school governing body.

In a statement on Monday, spokesperson Moyisi Magalela added that Molosi had extensive local government experience.

“Our candidate was an ANC councillor in Knysna from 2006 to 2011. During this term he serve as Mayoral Committee member responsible for community services and was later elected as Speaker until the end of the term in 2011.”

Other Knysna candidates Proportional candidates include Ndoda Aubrey Tsengwa, Titi Mertle Elizabeth Gombo, Claudine Denise Croutz, Millicent Ntombise Naki, Nontobeko Patricia Mbobosi, Phumla Priscilla Nkam, Nobesuthu Delihlazo, and Marchelle Renay Olivier.

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Ward candidates are Sarel Eric Solomons (Ward 1), Hendrias Markus Morris (Ward 2), Mncedisi David Skosana (Ward 3), Nomvuyiseko Vinolia Gungubele (Ward 4), Gashwin George Spies (Ward 5), Julia Joan

COMMUNITY ACTIVIST: Victor Molosi is Knysna ANC’s mayoral candidate as well as their candidate for Ward 8

Klaasen (Ward 6), Mandla Goodman Matiwane (Ward 7), Clive Kenneth Witbooi (Ward 9), Ndoda Tsengwa (Ward 10), and Neville Korkee (Ward 11).

“The ANC is satisfied and confident that our mayoral candidate and other candidates reflect the will of the people and will advance our programme of radical socioeconomic transformation.

Amongst this team there is a collective 30 years of local government experience,” the statement continued.

“The ANC calls on all its structures and our communities to support them as they lead us to an overwhelming victory for the ANC in the Local Government elections. We extend our gratitude to many of our comrades who are currently serving as councillors and for their loyal service to

the movement and the people of South Africa.”

Molosi’s personal statement released on Monday read, inter alia: “I believe that my experience in local government and in various community organisations will be a great asset to the residents of Knysna “I undertake to represent the community of Knysna to the best of my abilities. I further pledge that as Mayor, I will obey the wishes of the community of Knysna and respect and uphold all laws of the Republic of South Africa.

“I promise to be a sincere and faithful councillor, and fulfil my duties with all my strength and talents to the best of my knowledge and ability, and I will remain faithful to the dictates of my conscience. The welfare of my community will be my first priority.”

“I will ensure that the municipality consults and

provides regular feedback with all communities and that all councillors hold regular public meetings.

I look forward to work-

ing with all residents in improving the capacity of Knysna Municipality and improving the delivery of basic services to all.”

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NEWS & VIEWS

6 July 2016

Shoot your pets - with a camera, silly!

OLLOWING the unprecedented success of the Knysna Animal Welfare Society (KAWS) 2016 calendar, the 2017 edition is already in its planning stages.

Once again, pet owners are invited to enter photographs of their beloved animals in the photo competition that will see 25 winners grace the cover and pages of the calendar. Each R50 entry fee contributes to the cost of printing, and all profits from this venture go

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to helping the important work done by the KAWS team for our area’s many animals in need.

“We decided to start planning early this year to afford participants enough time to get that perfect shot,” says production team member Leeanne Greyvenstein.

“We have also decided to open the competition to all pets, not just dogs and cats.

Last year, one entrant jokingly told us that her chicken was more cooperative in

front of the camera than her dog, and that got us thinking,” adds colleague Elaine Levitte.

The KAWS 2016 calendar was a total sell-out, and many disappointed people missed the chance to buy one, so this year there will be a larger print run and the launch date will be a month earlier to ensure that everybody who wants a calendar will be able to buy one.

Sponsorship options are

now available to companies and individuals at R500 a page, and each sponsors’ details will be clearly displayed on the page. Proceeds from these sponsorships also go a long way to assisting with the hefty printing costs.

If you would like to enter or sponsor a page, email elainelevitte@gmail.com or leeannegreyvenstein@i cloud.com and see the advert on page 15 for additional competition details.

Entertainment Diary • The annual Bondi ceremony always takes place during the Knysna Oyster Festival and pays tribute to the famous mascot of the HMS Verbena, a bulldog named Bondi who died in Knysna in January 1931.

Organisers Knysna Historical Society also held an art competition to coincide with the event, and winners will be announced during the ceremony on Thursday July 7 at 10am on the Thesens Islands jetty, close to the SANParks offices.

• There’s but a few days left to catch a Secret Sunset & Sunrise Event that converses on our most precious resource… Water! Says artist Michele Bestbier, who is also the initiator of Art Map: “The show is an expression of my passion for this source of life. Contact Michele on 078 327 3459 for more information.

• Experience a joint exhibition of recent paintings by well-known artists and

PAINT PASSION: ‘Xhosa Bead Seller’ by Sheila Cooper Collins, whose love for the environment is revealed in her latest vistas of fynbos - she invites readers to a joint exhibition at 33 Andries Pretorius Street and advises that on Saturday morning July 9, smaller works will be exhibited at the Wild Oats Market, along with artists from her Sedgefield painting group

close friends Penny Baillie, Cherry Viljoen and Sheila Cooper Collins, which hangs in Sedgefield until July 10 at 33 Andries Pretorius Street on the Island, from 10am 4:30pm daily.

Penny is an eminent artist from Pretoria now based in Jo, while Cherry and Sheila have been painting and exhibiting on the Garden

Route for the last 23 years.

Penny will give a workshop for the Sedgefield Art Society on July 11 at the Catholic Hall. Call Sheila on 044 343 1828 with queries.

• The Crags Eco-preschool is hosting its annual Music Evening on July 8 with Robin Auld and an awesome mystery artist as support act. Bring your own picnic

like old times, but please support their cash bar.

There will be a free wine tasting and delicious homemade soup and bread for sale, along with cakes, tea and coffee.

Great prizes, lucky draws and a bid-a-bargain auction with Stuart Palmer will complete the night’s entertainment. Tickets are available at Village Book Shop, Ice Palazzo, Pepper Mill restaurant and The Crags Vet, or visit www.ticketstroom.com to buy online and see the ad on this page.

• Songbird Luna Page currently tours the Garden Route and will play Cocomo in Wilderness on July 8 (show starts 7:30pm, free entry), Monroe Theatre in Mossel Bay on July 9 (7pm, R100) and Plett Barnyard on Sunday the 10th (3pm, R130). You can listen to her music by visiting www. lunapaige.com or www.face book.com/LunaPaige.Sing erSongwriter.

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6 July 2016

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PROPERTY

6 July 2016

Plan early for comfortable retirement CCORDING to the latest New World Wealth Survey of wealthy suburbs undertaken in conjunction with MasterCard, Plettenberg Bay now ranks in the top three premier property locations in the country, next to Cape Town’s Atlantic Seaboard and Sandton in Johannesburg.

But contrary to belief, says Helen Ward of Helen Melon Properties, Plettenberg Bay is not solely for the super wealthy.

“On average, 85% of sales in Plettenberg Bay are in the region of R3-million or less.

These don’t include sales in share-block schemes and properties purchased on a life-right basis. Without a doubt, awareness of Plett is growing both nationally and internationally.”

Ward explains that the town has a very large ‘swallow’ contingent who arrive from the middle of January for nine weeks (to coincide with visa requirement).

“Germans, English, Irish, Welsh, Dutch, Austrians, Belgians and the French love Plett. Many own homes in the area and return year after year as ‘locals’. We had a very good season with foreign buyers and our sales were almost equally divided between sectional-title and

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freehold properties.”

She says there is also an influx of buyers, specifically from Gauteng, who hope to retire to the Southern Cape.

“Many of them are looking specifically at Plett. There is already a shortage of retirement villages here and by all indication, demand will only increase in future.”

The town and surrounds currently only offer two retirement villages with frail care facilities.

“Formosa Garden Village - or ‘FGV’ to locals - is the only retirement facility in town with frail care.

Strombolis, located about 5km outside Plett and comprising wooden homes, also offers frail care. The waiting list at FGV fluctuates, but is in the region of 18 years.”

As sole agents for the new The Plettenberg Manor, Ward is optimistic: “Devmark Property Group has been involved in the development of retirement villages for the last 26 years and has an outstanding track record.

“All purchasers in these developments have seen significant capital growth since the acquisition of their properties. I believe it will be no different with The Plettenberg Manor.”

Ward reckons investing

TRANQUIL AND SAFE: Its setting and design and the dearth in retirement options make The Plettenberg Manor an extremely secure investment

in The Plettenberg Manor will ensure that you have a property where you can see out your twilight years in a tranquil setting with excellent security, a community centre and a place where animals are welcome.

“Plus, you’ll have access to frail care, with a specialist section for dementia, which offers enormous peace of mind.”

Ward explains that the advantage of buying in at the onset of a development is that prices will rise. “With inflation, the unpredictability of the rand and growing demand for retirement

homes, I do believe that the earlier one buys into such a development, the better.

“I’m of the opinion that secure retirement villages are the one area of real estate in Plett that offers excellent investments. Values will continue to rise due to demand exceeding supply.

We’ve had unprecedented interest in the development to date and units are selling steadily.”

She advises younger buyers to plan for retirement early. “While rentals achieved in Plett are not in the same league as Johannesburg or Cape Town,

there is a critical shortage of rental properties here.

Young buyers are able to secure a retirement home in one of the country’s most beautiful destinations.

“Currently the Department of Agriculture will not grant any rezoning on land zoned for agricultural purposes and combined with legislation around wetlands, developments on sites such as The Plettenberg Manor are scarce. These properties will be highly sought after, making them the perfect investment, and retirement home, for under-50s.”

Ward says The Plettenberg Manor is an extremely exciting project. “The homes have been designed for retirees. The positioning of light switches are wheelchair friendly, as are the sizes of the front and internal doors in all units. On top of it, all units are north facing.

“Part of the property is in fact a wetland that over the course of the development will be rehabilitated to include boardwalks and bird hides. The beach is also within walking distance.

“The site is perfect for a retirement village in that it is flat and above both the 50 and 100-year flood plain.

The development will also include a limited number of

apartments and assisted living suites.”

Ward concludes that the Garden Route is renowned for its natural beauty and Mediterranean climate.

“Plettenberg Bay, referred to by many as the Jewel of the Garden Route, has four Blue Flag beaches, magnificent mountains, lagoon and ocean vistas, and is a haven of flora and fauna.

“Access has improved dramatically since the reopening of Plett Airport and introduction of flights from Joburg and Cape Town. Activities range from paragliding to hiking, kayaking to whale and dolphin watching, and our world-class golf courses, including Goose Valley and Plett Country Club, attract golfers from around the world.

“We also have a very effective Tourist Board and promotion is under the ‘Plett!

It’s a feeling!’ slogan. You’ll never regret investing in Plettenberg Bay.” • The Plettenberg Manor will offer six accommodation types ranging from assisted-living units to threebedroom exclusive homes, juxtaposing the South Coast’s rural charm with sophisticated modern functionality and open-plan living. Prices range from R1,595,000 to R3,825,000.

See the advert on p7 for contact details.

PLETT MAD TIMES

6 July 2016

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PLETT MAD TIMES

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MUSIC. ARTS. DRAMA.

6 July 2016

PLETT MAD TIMES

PLETT MAD TIMES 2016

BUSINESS

6 July 2016

CXPRESS

How to make your credit card work for you OUR credit card has the potential to be a cool companion if you maximise its effectiveness and make it work for you.

In an online survey conducted by FNB, 39% of respondents said they only used their credit cards in emergencies; 36% swiped for everything, big and small; 17% used it solely for online shopping, and only 8% said they used it to buy big purchases.

“Credit card users that swipe for all their purchases have the right idea,” says Chris Labuschagne, CEO of FNB Credit Card. “Using your credit card daily can be beneficial, but you need to exercise financial discipline.”

Using your credit card to transact doesn’t mean that you should dispose of your cheque account, which you need to keep to receive your salary and run your debit orders from.

It just means that you capitalise on the added perks that your credit card offers.

Free up personal cash flow If you pay off the full credit card balance every month, you won’t pay interest. This means you can use your credit card to fund monthly expenses.

“Your credit card gives you up to 55 days interest free and paying it off monthly will ensure you don’t incur interest,” says Labuschagne.

This leaves your monthly salary to be used more effectively, such as boosting your savings or putting more money into your home loan. Your money will then work for you, instead of the other way around.

“The trick here is to use your card for purchases you

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normally wouldn’t consider, such as your children’s school fees, as most schools have a point of sale, or your electricity bill,” suggests Labuschagne.

Keep a track record Credit cards are widely accepted, which means that you can swipe for even the smallest item.

All these transactions will then be recorded on one statement, which, from a budgeting point of view, is one of the best ways to

manage your finances.

Use the budgeting facility “Your budget facility is a great tool that can be used when you need extra funds to buy an item. You can view this as a short-term loan and once paid off, the

‘Life happens, which means from time to time everyone will spend more than what they can afford’

facility remains so you can use it again,” he says.

Set your limit to your lifestyle Using your credit card irresponsibly can be detrimental to your financial position. So you have to control how much you spend and how you pay back credit card debt.

“I suggest setting aside a fixed amount of your monthly salary to pay back day-to-day expenses incurred on your credit card.

Take some time every month to budget and try to keep the spend and payment in balance,” says Labuschagne.

“Life happens,” he continues, “which means from time to time everyone will spend more than what they can afford. Unplanned medical expenses, broken fridges, and school trips are just a couple of examples of events that can stretch your credit card facility to the limit.”

If you are fortunate

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enough to receive a bonus or maybe a 13th salary payment, use some of the funds to pull your credit card back into line. Alternatively, you would have to cut back on your lifestyle for a while.

Try never paying back your credit card with other forms of debt, as this can quickly become a vicious cycle.

“If used properly, your credit card can be a great financial aid, helping you to spend and manage your finances easily - which, ultimately, is all we want from our financial products,” concludes Labuschagne.

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INTERVAL

Read CXPRESS online @ www.cxpress.co.za

A son-bragging session in full swing...

HREE old ladies are sitting around a table playing bridge and bragging about their sons.

“My Freddie,” says Margaret, “everyone should be so lucky to have a son like my Freddie. Once a week he brings me a huge bouquet of flowers, he’s constantly taking me out to restaurants to eat. If I so much as hint that I want something, the next morning it’s on my doorstep.”

“That’s very nice about your Freddie,” says Gertrude. “But with all due respect, when I think about the way my Sammy takes care of me, it just cannot compare.

“Every morning as soon as

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GORDON HOFFMANN EASY MORNING MONDAY TO FRIDAY 6am - 9am... Knysna, PleƩ, Radio Today (Jhb)

I wake up he greets me with bacon and freshly brewed coffee. Every day he comes over and cooks me a gourmet lunch, and every evening he takes me to his house for supper. He truly treats me like a queen.”

“Well!” says Barbara. “I don’t want to make any of you feel bad or anything, but wait until you hear about my Harry.

“Twice a week, he pays someone R500 an hour just so he can lie on their couch and talk to them, and who do you think he speaks about at that price?” asks Barbara with a big excited smile. “I’ll tell you who he speaks about.

All he speaks about is me!”

“Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.” - Albert Einstein

My neighbour ETTING older, as we do, I woke up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.

As I passed through the kitchen, I happened to look out through the rear windows. I noticed an intruder with a knife, sneaking through my next door neighbour’s garden.

Suddenly my neighbour came from nowhere and smacked him over the head with a shovel, killing the intruder instantly.

My neighbour then dug a grave and put the body in it and covered it. Astonished, I got back into bed.

My wife said: “You’re upset, what is it?”

“You’ll never believe what I’ve just seen,” I said. “That so-and-so next door still has my shovel!”

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So, Marilyn hasn’t aged very well...

HOLIDAY ACTIVITIES

6 July 2016

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Holiday activities • Holiday activities • Holiday activities

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R800p/p sharing per night

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Riet vlei Road, Plettenberg Bay

G A R DE N ROU T E SOU T H

A F R IC A

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SOCIAL SCENE

6 July 2016 PHANTOMS IN THE FOREST: A night run on July 2 as part of the Knysna Oyster Fest programme received great support and feedback, with participants raving over the opera singers from Voices of the Forest serenading them as they made their way down the dark track on a cool new moon-lit night. Organised by Magnetic South, it is hoped that the Simola Phantom Night Run will become a regular part of the festival line-up. - Photo: Glenn Murray

People, places & events

Photo: Desmond Scholtz

RIDE THAT MOUNTAIN TRACK: Sponsors, organisers, ministers, and VIPs lined up at the start of the Momentum Weekend Argus Knysna Cycle Tour MTB events on July 2 before Knysna mayor Georlene Wolmarans fired the gun for the start of the race in which 4,000 cyclists braved freezing conditions and embraced the muddy, slippery route. Flanking the mayor are, from left, Knysna Rotary President Mick Furman, DA Shadow Minister of Tourism James Vos, Knysna & Partners CEO Greg Vogt, Minister of Cultural Affairs & Sport Anroux Marais, Michelle van Schalkwyk of Pick n Pay, Carel Bosman of Momentum, Pick n Pay Marketing Manager Enes Tavener, and Worldsport CEO Bruce Parker-Forsythe.

Photos: Timothy Twidle

PLETT FRINGE TRIUMPHS AGAIN: The fourth Plett Fringe Festival held at The White House from June 25-28 was a triumph of entertainment that embraced a mix of drama, music and comedy delighting those who attended. The opening evening saw David Muller recite a soliloquy entitled ‘Whale Nation’ - a lament for the tragic plight of whales in the oceans of the world today and how these noble creatures have been brought to this sorry pass through the sheer greed and avarice of humankind. Muller also reprised his consummate portrayal of the short stories of Herman Charles Bosman, with two sketches under the title ‘Oom Schalk Vertel’. On the following night Lucy and Alex Tops presented ‘Camp Carrawak’ - campfire storytelling interspersed with songs from the pioneering days of the Wild West. The penultimate performance of the festival saw the return of Nhlanhla Mkhwanazi, who has been part of the Plett Fringe Festival on two previous occasions, give a searing rendition of ‘A Man and a Dog’. This piece of pure theatre laid bare the daily trials and tribulations of life for many people in South Africa today. The closing evening witnessed a change of mood when Roland Perold sang ‘A Great American Songbook’ - a medley of the eternal favourites of composers such as Cole Porter, Irving Berlin and Jerome Kern. Plett Fringe Festival was held in aid of the Kids of Kurland, which raises funds for The Crags Primary School.

The Festival received generous sponsorship from PSG Wealth.

Organising committee members Marie Hoadley, Ann Fermor, Michelle Dugmore, Carmen Clews and Jill McIlleron are to be commended for their work. The White House Venue and Theatre was kindly made available through the good offices of Susie Ovenstone and the refreshments and food were supplied by the culinary staff of Nguni Restaurant. Leon Swart gave of his expertise in the provision of effective sound engineering.

Performances were well attended by both Bitou residents and visitors to the Route. Pictured from left, clockwise from the top, are Plett locals Alan & Rini van den Handel, Eileen Covarr, Barbara Harrow, Delia van den Handel and Linda Batt; Paul & Cheryl Clipsham of Uniondale and Gail & Jeremy Ractliffe of Plett; with Siyabonga Zabo, Nomzamo Mhaga and Siyabulela Matyhila, all of Lunchbox Theatre, enjoying the event at left.

SOCIAL SCENE

6 July 2016 A CENTURY CELEBRATED: Plettenberg Bay resident of some 35 years, Ena Giddy celebrated her 100th birthday on June 29 and Ann Thomas, who took these photos, was kind enough to share with CXPRESS the story of four different parties in honour of her long-living friend, who were spoilt with four different birthday cakes, 100 balloons, and a grand array of family and friends who arrived from all corners of the globe to pay tribute to Ena during a full four weeks of festivities. Pictured with the birthday gal at right is daughter-in-law Marianne Giddy, who happens to share Ena’s birth date, and at left, one of the many grand- and great-grandchildren in attendance helps blowing out some of the candles. Visit the gallery at www.cxpress. co.za to see the rest of the party pics.

RACE NIGHT A BLAST: Legendary horse racing commentator Francois Wolfaardt hosted ‘A Night at the Races’ on behalf of The Bitou 10 Foundation on Friday July 1 at The White House in Plett. The timing of the evening was prescient, as it was held on the eve of the annual Durban July at Greyville Racecourse - the most prestigious event of South Africa’s flat-racing calendar. More than 100 people attended and enjoyed two hours of fun and laughter, as well as being able to place bets on previous Durban July races projected on a large screen, and accompanied by commentary from Wolfaardt. There was also a lucky draw and a sweepstake for this year’s July. The function served as fundraiser for the Foundation - an organisation that provides support, services and learning materials to 11 state schools and 25 pre-schools in all areas of Bitou and all proceeds from the evening, after the deduction of costs, were directed to this end. Pictured clockwise from above are Marsja Hall-Green who, after having picked a winner, was presented with a prize by Francois Wolfaardt; Veronique Kock of the B10F with Jessica Mousley, right; and Bertha Ollemans and Pamela Dunn flashing big smiles on the night. - Timothy Twidle

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Plett Animal Welfare Services - 083 287 9917 Knysna Animal Welfare Society - 044 384 1603

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CLASSIFIEDS

ON THE SOAPBOX

6 July 2016

Letters to the Editor

CXPRESS

Email: editor@cxpress.co.za - Fax: 044 533 0852 - PO Box 1449, Plett 6600

Please assist in compiling Martin’s gourmet guide to our area’s various sanatoria…

I am compiling - and ask for contributions from your readers, dear Lady Editors - a helpful “gourmet’s guide” to the various hospitals of our area.

I feel uniquely able to edit such a work, given the amount of time I seem nowadays to spend in these various purveyors of hospitality, and it may be of some use to those who might find themselves in an ambulance, inevitably being asked by the attendants: “Which hospital?”

Plett Mediclinic provides the inevitable, if perhaps a little dull, smart-people’s boarding-school food though, I must say, produces the finest bacon I have ever eaten.

Sad, though, that a night with full board seems to cost more than the equiva-

lent at The Plettenberg, and I DO wish they could get their TVs to work properly.

Knysna Private seems to base its catering on a similar model, though the bacon isn’t as good, so something of a black mark there.

I can, however, point out to readers that in a cupboard in the nurse’s station - and you can hear from the pinging of the ceiling thingy when the nurse has had to bustle off to attend to somebody (so, delightfully, is away from said “station”), they keep a bottle of whisky, which I do think is an important premed prior to going under the knife.

Knysna Provincial is a touch away from a Michelin star*, though provides rather good fruit and supremely good lukewarm, very sweet

On Bitou’s Ladywood precinct As a previous councillor and strong supporter of good town planning, my views regard Bitou’s new buildings [read ‘Five days left to comment…’ on page 3 of the June 22 edition at www.cxpress. co.za] are as follows: Bitou Municipality has had to battle with makedo facilities for many years, never having all its staff in one place, and with many cramped and unsuitable offices.

The result is inefficiency and frustration. This will not change if more buildings are added at or near to the present site.

The present site is well suited to a conference centre/hotel and is in a prime tourist area of town. Willie Meyer had a vision of linking this site with Main Street and those concepts need

to be followed. It is not suited to administration buildings - which are only there by nature of the town’s early haphazard development.

Taking a longer term view, there is no doubt that the municipal buildings should be on a new site where there is space for later expansion and plenty of parking for the public. Ladywood is a good choice, being close to all communities.

Regarding the cost, suffice it to say that austerity will not boost the economy but government spending will. The sale of the present site will help decrease costs of the new buildings.

The concept will create jobs and improve the image of Bitou. I give the scheme my full support.

Peter Stratten, Plett

and very milky tea late at night - and there are times when that just exactly hits the spot.

And, as a lot of the poor chaps in the ward will have had limbs removed because of diabetes, one can instruct them all to order tea and donate it in one’s direction, if they are unable or unwilling to drink it.

As far as George is concerned, I give my very best advice: forget the Lamprecht, it’s George Provincial you want.

Accurately time the bursting of this or the failing of that so you are sure to be in res on a Friday eve - well, afternoon, really (they do seem to serve meals at odd hours).

And remember to get the ambulance-chappies to go into your house prior to departure to grab a bottle of that heavenly thing - All Gold tomato sauce - to bring along. Because the Friday cottage pie at George Provincial is nothing short of sensational!

And with the All Gold…

Neither Nigella, Gordon nor Jamie could produce its equal.

I’m shortly to be carried

off for a bit of an extended stay at one or other of these helpful hostelries, and I am going to include in my gourmet’s guide a helpful addendum listing the essential contents of the hamper one should neem saam.

It is always a very good idea to take a huge bag of homemade rusks, as the other blokes in the ward will look forward to evening tea-time if you dish them out.

And always take a few bottles of Oros - they do love that. * They don’t, admittedly, advertise themselves as boasting such culinary decorations, though, they very helpfully throw in perfectly adequate plasma-drips and blood-transfusions, at absolutely no extra cost.

I haven’t given it enough thought yet, but I’m convinced the blood they give one in George is a notch above that you’ll get in Knysna. Indeed, if it comes to that, the anaesthetic you’ll get in Port Elizabeth is of the very finest quality. Much better than our local stuff.

Martin Rattray, Plett

Pumping continues unabated at peril of Knysna water reserves Whilst I am fully aware of the necessity to use water sparingly, I find it incomprehensible that Knysna’s mayor has resorted to threatening the town’s ratepayers with punitive water tariffs for those who exceed a monthly consumption of 10 kilolitres.

In the same breath, she welcomes 50,000 visitors who will be here for the Knysna Oyster Festival!

Is there something I don’t understand?

Knysna’s town management has long known that water supply is tenuous; there is no dam to impound water and it has to rely on continual pumping from the Knysna River.

Since the Department of Water Affairs has yet to set a reserve on the amount that can be abstracted, this continues unabated. To do so demands a pumping system that is efficient.

Neglect this at your peril.

Dave Reynell, Knysna

Bitou Municipality delivers service - and more!

At one stage, not that long ago, power outages were a normal and very regular occurrence, if you lived along River Road in Keurbooms.

And most of the time, these outages were shared by Keurbooms Village, as the line was common, up to the reticulation near Keurbooms Service Station.

Residents of the area, organised as the Keurbooms River Master Homeowner Association (KRMHOA), met with (then newly-elected) mayor Memory Booysen and MEC Donald Grant to make it clear that enough was enough.

The mayor took it upon himself to mobilise the Bitou resources, with support of the Municipal Manager

and under the management of Peter Harpestad, to recommend and implement a properly functioning electrical service.

The old and badly dilapidated electrical “farm line” structure was dismantled and a new line installed.

New advanced switchgear, designed to separate the distributed supply for River Road from the supply to Keurbooms Village, was ordered and installed.

At the same time, and over and above the requests of the residents, street lighting was installed - there had been none up to that point.

In addition, cables were run from the new minisub (which supplies power to the sewerage pump sta-

tion - another upgrade) to kiosks outside two of the estates, replacing the old and unstable structures, while on-site meter reading facilities were installed in another estate.

During this programme, many River Road residents also became involved and assisted, particularly Flip van Rooyen and Henry

Timme, and for that we thank them.

But our gratitude to Bitou for delivering what was promised and more, cannot be understated.

Our sincere thanks to Mayor Memory, the Municipal Manager, and Peter and his team.

Peter Brown on behalf of KRMHOA, Keurbooms

Read CXPRESS online at www.cxpress.co.za

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SPORT & ADVENTURE

6 July 2016

Good races and consistent finishes put Team Edwards in top six Hobie 16 sailors from around the globe HE 2016 Hobie 16 World Championships were held in the beautiful Chinese bay of Dapeng, surrounded by hills and white beaches, during the first half of last month, when over 300 teams came together to do battle in the various disciplines.

Plett residents and Knysna Yacht Club members William and Lucinda Edwards, sailing under the ClemenGold banner, were entered in the Masters class, where they would be defending their title.

Team Edwards held a pre-qualified spot in the Opens by virtue of their win at the Hobie 16 Nationals in Durban.

The Masters was the first event of the champs and William and Lucinda sailed hard to hold on to their title, but it was the two Australian teams who had the advantage as the world titles were being sailed on Australian-built boats. The intrepid Edwards came in third in this category.

The Open event started once all the qualification races were completed.

ClemenGold Sailing set off with a great start, only to be protested on the second leg after an exaggerated port/starboard claim by a young New Caledonian Team; they were penalised by 14 points.

“We were very disappointed and clearly would have to be vigilant to prevent incurring more penalties with only one discard,” explains William.

“That night there was a lot of reflection. A new game plan was hatched and we managed to win the next race, our confidence having been restored. We

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BOOKING ESSENTIAL

TEAM EDWARDS AHOY! Plettenberg Bay sailing duo William and Lucinda Edwards returned from the recent Hobie 16 Worlds in China with a sixth place in the opens and podium third in the Masters class - congratulations!

proceeded to post consistent results, which put us in 11th position going through to the finals.”

The forecast for the finals was looking good, with stronger wind and thunderclouds that did not disappoint. Big gusts and tor-

rential rain combined with lightning bolts and violent claps of thunder tested the nerves of even the most salted sailors.

“Just before the squall hit, we managed to orientate ourselves and sailed round the last mark for

the finish,” says Lucinda.

“From then on it was a white-out and we hit the finish line at a perfect angle, gaining many places in the process.”

The last race of the Finals was sailed in 5-8 knots with all the teams wanting to make the most of it in a bid to improve their overall standings. William and Lucinda held their nerve and got a good start.

Spotting a wind shift up the middle of the course, they took a bit of a gamble - which paid off when putting them in third position at the first mark. From then on, they concentrated on holding on to that third spot ‘till the finish.

Some good races and consistent finishes put William and Lucinda into sixth overall in the Open finals.

“We were very happy with this result,” concludes William, adding that Team ClemenGold Sailing would like to thank all those whom sent messages of support and encouragement during the events - “this was a great incentive for us”.