8 May 2019

8 May 2019

Published every Wednesday by CXpress 2006 (Pty) Ltd - PO Box 1449, Plettenberg Bay 6600 - 6 Park Lane, Plettenberg Bay - Tel: 044 533 1004 - Fax: 044 533 0852 Email: editor@cxpress.co.za / advertising@cxpress.co.za Web page: www.cxpress.co.za Printed by Group Editors

Beal appeal successful - p3

Minister opens Magistrates’ Court - p5

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Tsitsikamma Ultra conquered - p12

Hands up for the future of our land South Africans from every corner of the country, every colour and creed, today have the opportunity to vote for leaders they believe may rescue our economy and remedy some of the damage done by the former president and his posse. Ivoti! Sê jou sê! Cast your vote, because this May 8 Election Day may well be your best chance yet to change our Rainbow Republic’s future from bleak to bright.

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CXPRESS

NEWS & VIEWS

8 May 2019

Plett’s famous river seal, Stompie, still missing in action TOMPIE - one of a handful of known adult male Cape fur seals regularly spotted in the Keurbooms River estuary during surveys carried out in 2017 and 2018 - was last seen mid-November last year.

Feeding and living almost exclusively in the estuary, biologists believe this choice of habitat to be a naturally-learnt behaviour adopted by only a few male individuals.

Explains marine biologist Frikkie van der Vyver: “Since January, volunteers assisted field biologists during eight boat-based photo-ID surveys on the Keurbooms River. Only one seal was present in the estuary during each survey, which covered an area from the mouth up to Bitou River and all the way up to Whiskey Creek.

“A vast majority of seals appeared to be yearlings and sub-adult males, all unknown to our biologists. None of the known adult males often pre-

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sent in the estuary during 2017 and 2018 were spotted again this year.

“Apart from the possibility that they may have left the river to join the annual breeding season from November to January, or have died, their continued absence remains a mystery.”

Van der Vyver says that once biologists have established a more long-term dataset, researchers will be able to examine the seasonal presence of specific known individuals in the estuary, their movements, behaviour and potential impact on vulnerable estuarine fish species that are also of recreational and conservation concern.

“Eventually long-term data will be used to place the possible impact of river specialists into context with current recreational fishing pressure, which volunteers also record during surveys,” he concludes.

Visit www.orcafoundation. com for additional information.

WHERE’S STOMPIE? Easily recognisable by the unique scar on his left fore-flipper, Cape fur seal Stompie was last seen in the Keurbooms River estuary mid-November last year - Photo: Frikkie van der Vyver

Notice Board Forest hero hosted by historians The indigenous forests along the coastal plateau from Mossel Bay in the west to Humansdorp in the east represent the largest, more or less uninterrupted indigenous forest belt in Southern Africa.

The total area of this closed canopy evergreen forest is just over 60,000 hectares, of which two thirds are State-owned and mostly managed, for nearly a decade to date, by the South African National Parks authority (SANParks).

The remaining indigenous forest area, mostly in private hands, is subject to strict conservation legislation, controlled by the State Forest

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authority, presently under the umbrella of the Department Agriculture, Forestry and Fisheries (DAFF).

The saving of these unique forests from the greed of human endeavour can, to a great extent, be attributed to many devoted and gifted men and women who, over a period of nearly 300 years, have diligently worked for the rescue and, more latterly, scientific management of these forests.

An expert in the field of forestry, Georg von dem Bussche will describe his experiences at a meeting of the Van Plettenberg Historical Society at 10:30 for 11am on May 12 at The Verandah, situated at Goose Valley golf club.

Entrance is R30 and separate bookings for a Mother’s Day lunch at R120 per head may be made with Emma on 044 533 0889 before 5pm today, Wednesday May 8.

So much to do on Mother’s Day! Check out the adverts on page 4 (Moss & Maple Farm Stall), (Sky Villa and The Bungalow); page 9 (Bitou 10 Foundation at the Angling Club); and page 12 (The Fat Fish) for fabulous offerings to treat your mother on Sunday May 12.

French and Russian romance A fabulous musical evening of French and Russian romance will be hosted by Ouland Royale when well-known baritone Werner van Blerk performs fa-

miliar songs from the French and Russian repertoire. He will be accompanied by awardwinning pianist Jose Dias, whose recent international performances include the Berliner Philharmonie and the Beethovenhalle in Bonn.

Local music lovers know they can always look forward to an exceptional event at Ouland, a truly magical musical venue where Wilja will serve her usual delicious canapes (with cash bar) on Saturday May 18 at 5:30pm sharp.

Buy tickets at R250 from Marsja Hall-Green (email marsjahg@netactive.co.za or call 073 645 9476/044 533 4578). Seats are limited, so book today!

NEWS & VIEWS

8 May 2019

CXPRESS

No mercy for victims of abuse, but one third sliced off Beale’s time behind bars The Plettenberg Bay computer engineer, who was last year sentenced to 15 years imprisonment after pleading guilty to about 19,000 charges of possession of child pornography, successfully appealed his sentence in the Western Cape High Court last week - YOLANDÉ STANDER reports ILLIAM Beale was sentenced to 15 years behind bars in the Thembalethu Regional Court in George in November last year, but last week the high court reduced his sentence to 10 years.

The three-judge panel said the decision to reduce the sentence was reached after thorough consideration of the sentences imposed in comparable matters, the facts of the matter,

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the seriousness of the crimes, the appellant’s circumstances, an element of mercy (in view of the history of abuse suffered by the appellant in his younger days), as well as the interests of the community and “ultimately” the interests of children.

Beale was the first South African to have been arrested as part of Operation Cloud 9 - an operation involving SA and Belgian

police - which is responsible for cracking down on an international child pornography network.

The ring is linked to a cyber meeting space for paedophiles whose fetishes seem to be the sexual abuse of babies and young children. Some of the images found included the torture and murder of babies as young as only a few days old.

When Beale was arrested police found sections of

What’s that floating in Plett’s lagoon?

Plett resident Theo Marais shared these photos of what appears to be raw sewage floating in the lagoon at Central Beach. When he reported this malodourous and most unhygienic state of affairs to the management of Beacon Island Hotel last week, Marais was informed that the problem originated at a municipal treatment plant in Piesang River, further up in the valley. By Sunday May 5, Marais said that the “sewage smell” had thankfully disappeared. But whether the lagoon is safe for swimming remains anybody’s guess. Bitou Municipality had not responded to CXPRESS queries in this regard by going to print.

Make sure your vote hits the mark EGISTERED voters need to have their green bar-coded, temporary, or smart ID with them when visiting their voting station between 7am and 9pm today.

An anonymous resident who partook in the special vote on Monday May 6 warned: “Please let your readers know that we went to cast our special votes today and by chance

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both my husband and I noticed that the ballot papers weren’t stamped on the reverse side.

“We approached them and they then stamped them. Of course, without the stamp our votes wouldn’t count at all! So please be vigilant when voting on Wednesday.”

Also take note that you are not allowed to bring your own stationery to

the voting station. But be sure to refuse if offered a pencil; if your cross is not made in ink, it may be erased, so insist on a pen.

Finally, please remember that the election officials are only human and they have a long, hard day ahead. Readers are invited to email editor@ cxpress.co.za to share any noteworthy election day experiences.

files containing thousands of videos and violent assaults as well as internet addresses of more than 300 alleged paedophiles.

The reduction of the sentence was met with outrage among children’s rights groups.

“We at Women and Men Against Child Abuse vehe-

mently opposed any consideration of appeal for Beale. The South African judiciary needs to wake up,” said WMACA Advocacy spokesman Joanne Barrett.

“The courts need to realise that these are real children and that by downloading these images and videos, they are fuelling the market

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of child sexual abuse.

“Harsher sentences need to be given to deter them from downloading, and subsequently kill the market. Beale was in possession of the most vile hard-core child pornography and he took two years to obtain 19,000 pieces of material.

“One must remember, these are images of young babies and children who were sadistically sexually abused and murdered.

Those children who survived this horrific ordeal had no mercy shown to them and there is nothing anyone can do to take this harrowing nightmare away, ever.”

Garden Route Media

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CXPRESS

NEWS & VIEWS

8 May 2019

Minority rule seems inevitable - it’s built into our constitution!

Former Plettenberg Bay resident ALASTAIR GRANT shared this extract of an article on Proportional Representation by Karl Popper - one of the 20th century’s most influential philosophers of science ROFESSOR Karl Popper’s first book on democracy in English was published in 1945.

In 1988, The Economist published his explanation of the book which he felt had not been understood.

I have extracted a few lines from the great philosopher’s 1988 text, because Popper’s words are strikingly appropriate to us in South Africa, when it seems coalition government is the most likely outcome of the election.

The following paragraphs are quoted from Popper’s 1988 text: “The immediate consequence of proportional representation is that it will increase the number of parties.

“This at first glance may seem desirable: more parties means more choice, more opportunities, less rigidity, more criticism.

It also means a greater distribution of influence and of power.

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“However, this first impression is totally mistaken. The existence of many parties means, essentially, that a coalition government becomes inevitable. It means difficulties in the formation of any new government, and in keeping a government together for any length of time.

“A coalition government means, more often than not, that small parties can exercise a disproportionally great - and often decisive - influence, both on the formation of a government and on its resignation, and so on all its decisions.

“Most important of all, it means decay of responsibility. For in a coalition government there is reduced responsibility for all the parties in the coalition.

“With proportional representation, even in the case of a single party governing with an absolute majority and thrown

out by a majority of disenchanted citizens, the government may not be turned out of office.

“It would rather look for the smallest party strong enough to go on ruling with its help. Of course, the small party may not be strongly represented in the new government. But its power will be very great, since it may topple the government at any time.

“All this grossly violates the idea that lies at the root of proportional representation: the idea that the influence exercised by any party must correspond to the number of votes it can muster.”

The two-party system “In order to make a majority government probable, we need something approaching a two-party system as in Britain and the United States.

“The point is that in a two-party system the defeated party is liable to take an electoral defeat

seriously. So it may look to an internal reform of its aims, which is an ideological reform.

“If the party is defeated twice in succession, or even three times, the search for new ideas will become frantic, which obviously is a healthy development. This is likely to happen, even if the loss of votes was not very great.

“Under a system with many parties, and with coalitions, this is not likely to happen. Especially when the loss of votes is small, both the party bosses and the electorate are inclined to take the change quietly.

“They regard it as part of the game, since none of the parties had clear responsibilities.”

Popper wrote these words in 1988. QED*. * QED is an abbreviation of the Latin words ‘Quod Erat Demonstrandum’ which loosely translate to “that which was to be demonstrated”.

VISIONARY: Sir Karl Popper (1902-1994) at his home in Croydon, London, on August 31, 1992 Photo: David Levenson/Getty Images

The first book in English by professor Karl Popper was accepted for publication in London while Hitler’s bombs were falling, and was published in 1945 under the title ‘The Open Society and its Enemies’; if well received at the time, four decades later Sir Karl felt the need to question whether his central theory of democracy had been understood.

Sir Karl Raimund Popper CH FBA FRS was an Austrian-British philosopher and professor.

Generally regarded as one of the 20th century’s greatest philosophers of science, Popper is known for his rejection of the classical inductivist views on the scientific method in favour of empirical falsification.

Born on July 28, 1902 in Vienna, Austria, he died on September 17, 1994, in the UK. Some of his most significant quotes include: • It is impossible to speak in such a way that you cannot be misunderstood. • Our knowledge can only be finite, while our ignorance must necessarily be infinite. • Those who promise us paradise on earth never produced anything but a hell.”

NEWS & VIEWS

8 May 2019

CXPRESS

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Big brass note spike in sexual offences, assault at grand opening of Plett Magistrates’ Court The Magistrates’ Court in New Horizons was officially opened on Thursday May 2 by Justice and Correctional Services minister, advocate Michael Masutha - TIMOTHY TWIDLE reports slew of dignitaries attended the opening of Plett’s court precinct last Thursday, including Public Works minister Thembelani Nxesi, Director-General of the Department of Justice and Constitutional Development (DOJCD) Vusi Madonsela, deputy director of the National Prosecuting Authority advocate Nicolette Bell, regional DOJCD head advocate Hishaam Mohammed, judge Nathan Erasmus, members of the judiciary, and councillors as well as directors and staff of Bitou Municipality.

They were joined by representatives of Plett’s civerse communities - a total of some 400 people.

Bitou executive mayor Peter Lobese delivered a short speech of welcome.

“Thank you everyone for coming. I am as excited as all of you today.” he said.

“This court is an outcome of the Coming Together initiative that was launched in Bitou in 2007. Thank you, minister Masutha.

Plettenberg Bay is indebted to you.”

In declaring the court

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open, Masutha said: “The opening of this state of the art Magistrates’ Court in New Horizons could not have come at a better time.

“The court will alleviate the hardships endured by local residents, who up until now have had to travel 32 kilometres to the court in Knysna, to seek justice.

“The court has been built with the future in mind. A total of nine courtrooms include four district courts, two family courts, a civil/ equality court, and two regional courts.

“As is standard nowadays, the second regional court has been fitted with infrastructure to handle sexual offences. The dedicated sexual offences court is one of 80 country-wide that are in place to deal with the high levels of sexual and genderbased violence that occur throughout the country.”

The minister continued by saying that statistics provided by the Plettenberg Bay police showed a spike in the number of sexual offences that have occurred in this area recently, with the number of incidents of rape

having increased from 21 to 39 in the past year, and the number of attempted sexual offences having risen from three to seven.

“There has also been an increase in the number of assaults with intent to inflict grievous bodily harm, from 193 to 243, over the same period of time,” he said.

The facilities of the new court, which was built by local companies over a period of three years at a cost of R3.14-million, include a training room, two libraries, nine consulting rooms for legal practitioners, children’s waiting rooms, a first aid room, a cash hall, and record rooms.

At the close of proceedings, a short speech of thanks was given by alderman Lulama Mvimbi, a former executive mayor of Bitou.

The mission of the Department of Justice and Constitutional Development is to provide access to justice for all, and to this end, 40 new courts have been constructed and 19 existing courts have been extensively refurbished throughout the country since 1994.

MAGNIFICENT: The Magistrates’ Court building, of which construction was concluded last year - Photos: Timothy Twidle

COURT TALK: Justice and Correctional Services minister, advocate Michael Masutha, addresses those in attendance on Thursday

French-built craft enjoys a Knysna rendezvous

The first of the NSRI’s new fleet of Offshore Rescue Craft stopped briefly in Knysna Lagoon on April 30 en route to its Durban home base. The new 14m state of the art rescue boat Alick Renie (Rescue 5) was constructed in France alongside a second vessel named Donna Nicholas (Rescue 10), which will be based in Simonstown once completed. Rescue 5 rendezvoused offshore with craft from Knysna NSRI Station 12 and then entered the Knysna Heads under the guidance of Graeme Harding, a long-time local and past NSRI Knysna station commander. After a brief stop for breakfast and an opportunity for local volunteers to view the fine vessel, she continued on her way to Port Elizabeth where the crew spent the night before continuing to KZN. These new hi-tech rescue craft, designed by naval architects Pantocarene and manufactured by Bernard Shipyard in France, are powered by reliable diesel engines and fitted with the latest in electronics technology.

Rescue 5 will replace some of the NSRI’s ageing 10m and 12m vessels stationed around the SA coast. Although this first vessel was constructed in France, the next six rescue craft will be built in Cape Town by Two Oceans Marine, thus supporting SA’s boat-building industry, creating jobs, and further developing skills of local workers in this composite field. - Words & photos: Mike O’Neill

VOTE ON #XsêDay 8 MAY 2019

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ELECTIONS 0800 11 8000

Find us on: IECSouthAfrica • www.elections.org.za

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CXPRESS

NEWS & VIEWS

8 May 2019

‘What the Bag?’ campaign launch to eradicate plastic ID you know that five trillion plastic bags are used every year? Every single little piece of plastic ever made still exists on Earth today.

That’s right: just because you throw it away in your bin doesn’t mean it’s gone.

Plastic bags are items that we need and use every day.

But something this useful should surely not be hurting our planet - the place we call home?

That’s how ‘What the Bag?’ came to be. Built on biomimicry principles of using waste as a resource, ‘What the Bag?’ uses donated waste fabric that is no longer needed to make shopping and produce bags.

In an effort to help curb the use of single-use plastic bags and to spread the awareness on topic, ‘What the Bag?’ will be handing out sets of shopping bags

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PLASTIC BAGS SHOULD BE RELICS OF THE PAST: Rheenendal resident Sahara Thagunna, 17, who started the ‘What the Bag?’ movement, sews the bags from home; at a launch on May 10 she will talk about the campaign, and Sue Swain from BioWise will explain the principles of biomimicry

on May 10 as part of its ‘Pay it Forward’ campaign.

All about creating connected change, the campaign takes its name from the ‘pay it forward method’ which

inspired it. Once you have received your free set of bags it’s your responsibility to spread the message and tell one other person so that they too can receive a free set of bags and continue to spread the awareness to their friends, so creating a ‘mushroom’ effect of connected change.

If you want to be part of this campaign and join the change, attend the official launch in Knysna at The Node, 28 Main Road, Rexford, on May 10 at 10am.

Attendance of the launch is strictly by RSVP only, so those present will receive a free set of bags, as long as they have RSVP’d.

For more information, visit www.sourcesahara. wixsite.com/whatthebag or contact Sahara Thagunna at infowhatthebag@gmail. com or via WhatsApp on 073 801 8199.

Wheelchair donated to Die Sterreweg GIVING AND RECEIVING: Donated by Ruby Mendelowitz of Joburg, standing at right, the wheelchair provides mobility for Iviwe Mabona of Die Sterreweg, seated at right; standing, from left, are Sue Lipschitz, who facilitated the donation, and Suzy Lubner, joint founder of the Sabrina Love Foundation and Die Sterreweg; seated with Iviwe is Wesley Daniels, showing pictures they drew and presented to Ruby and Sue

Words and photo: Timothy Twidle

wheelchair was donated on April 30 to Die Sterreweg (‘Way of the Stars’) - a daycare centre for children with special needs situated in New Horizons, Plettenberg Bay. Ruby Mendelowitz of Johannesburg was given the wheelchair anonymously on the occasion of her bat mitzvah - a celebration of the coming of age at 13 years of a girl of the Jewish faith - instead of a celebratory gift, with the intent that the wheelchair be passed on to someone in need of such mobility assistance.

Ruby, who was at that time on holiday in Plett with her family, took the opportunity, along with her mother, to hand over the wheelchair to Die Sterreweg.

A total of 150 wheelchairs have been brought to South Africa recently by the Women’s International Zionist Organisation (WIZO) from Wheelchairs of Hope, a non- governmental organ-

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isation based in Israel.

The wheelchairs are sturdy, light and affordable and were developed and designed by doctors and engineers at Alyn Hospital, near Jerusalem, to empower education through mobility of children with disabilities in developing countries.

The donation was facilitated by Sue Lipschitz, chairperson of the Century City Branch of WIZO, Cape Town, who said: “These wheelchairs are ergonomically designed and are another example of Israel’s contribution to the world by way of technological innovation at minimal cost.

“In South Africa, the families of many disabled children cannot afford an item as expensive as a wheelchair, leaving these children without mobility and without hope.

“As part of its local outreach programme, WIZO South Africa secured donations for the import of 150 wheelchairs to South Africa from Israel. The wheelchairs are presently being distributed to communities throughout the country. ” Die Sterreweg in partnership with Sabrina Love Foundation was founded in 2006 by Plett locals Tony and Suzy Lubner.

Plett NSRI cleans their home turf

On Thursday May 2, the crew of NSRI station 14 together with a few helping hands got together to clean up Plett’s beaches. Says deputy station commander Ross Badenhorst: “What a great turnout it was for a stroll on the beach with family and friends, while all doing our bit to keep the beaches clean. It was our first beach-cleaning excursion and we were able to identify certain areas on which we’ll have to focus more to keep our coastline clean in the future. It was also a great time for our crew to socialise with the public and explain the new cashless donation system which NSRI nationwide has recently adopted. This has replaced our street collection and boats at various till points around Plett. A massive thank you to all who turned up - judging from the amount of bags at the collection points, I definitely think a difference was made.” For details on the new cashless system for NSRI donations, contact Dave Haysom on 076 796 2982.

BUSINESS

8 May 2019

Investor Focus

Malcolm Stewart – Investment manager at Michaelides Parker Wealth Knysna & Plett

Whereto the property sector?

ROPERTY trusts (REITS) form an integral part of any retiree’s investments. Only REITS and equities offer a sustainable and growing income stream. You should fund your retirement from the income generated by your investments and not erode the capital.

This should be a fundamental rule for any retiree.

Inflation will ultimately destroy the purchasing power of any Money Market investment, especially if tax is levied on the interest generated.

The last few years has seen a serious erosion of values within the REITS sector. This has caused much stress in the retired community, but provided quality REITS options were used, the income generated would still have grown or at least been maintained at levels above those offered by Money Markets.

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The sector was hit by the effects of the Viceroy report that attacked the integrity of the NEPI/Rockcastle property group. The Viceroy Company can best be characterised as a “tip and buy” scheme.

They sell shares in a company (without owning them) and buy them back at a cheaper price after the effects of their particularly negative research has sharply reduced the share price of the targeted company. (This would be illegal in South Africa.)

The sector also suffered from weak consumer spending, uncertain property rights and a general recession. Many institutional investors however feel the downward correction we have seen has been overdone. A gradual recovery in GDP growth is anticipated and investor confidence should begin to recover over the next few years.

Even in this challenging environment, there is certainly a case for retirees to “lock in” the record high yields on offer. Some listed REITS are based offshore and offer 100% Rand-hedge properties.

The income growth in these companies is supported by long leases (three to 10 years) with rental escalations at least equal to inflation. This income yield has historically made up 40% to 50% of the total return of the sector.

Yields of 10% are available, while a conservative REITS portfolio will certainly offer yields in excess of 8.5%.

Quality REITS currently offer yields above that offered by the government long bonds and Money Market instruments. There are corporate bonds in any MM funds, where the credit risk is higher.

What are the risks?

Their rental income could

Property area focus: Turtle Creek URTLE Creek is located in the Goose Valley golfing estate - a famous Gary Player designed course located on the outskirts of Plett. The estate consists of a large apartment complex and two housing areas.

Turtle Creek is a fully developed housing complex consisting of 60 houses, all located on the golf course, with views of either the Tsitsikamma Mountains

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or the Keurbooms Lagoon and Lookout Beach.

The estate has security fencing topped with cameras, with access control and security patrols. What makes this estate different from all the other estates in Plett, is that it has its own restaurant and golf course.

The best priced home is currently available for R4.9 million, with the highest priced property currently at R7.9 million.

The recent average sale price is between R3 and R4 million with most purchasers and sellers being over 60 years old. House sizes range from about 200 to 700m2 with the average erf size being between 700 and 900m2. The architectural style is Tuscan.

The estate is great for security, easy lock-up-andgo living, and is an obvious choice if you are an avid golfer.

be reduced as they battle to keep tenants. The recent Edcon debacle is a prime example of this risk, as it makes up 10% to 15% of the retail space in all of the large malls.

Other tenants will shop around, looking for cheaper premises.

The REITS may have over-geared its balance sheet (e.g. it may have borrowed too much) and is forced to sell some properties at depressed levels.

Furthermore, Rand volatility can impact on offshore earnings.

So for the retiree looking for better income that will outperform inflation, this is where to look. There are ETFs that reflect the JSE property sector. Homework could be rewarding.

• Malcolm has been in the investment industry for nearly 50 years. He has written this column in CXPRESS for the last 20 years and is a specialist in managing retired wealth.

See the advert on this page for contact details.

The estate levy includes golf subs as well as gardening and landscaping; the grounds are manicured, and eco-friendly. The estate also allows for the ideal lifestyle, with easy access to all amenities in Plett.

For more details contact Werner Harris, estate agent at Lew Geffen Sotheby’s International Realty Plettenberg Bay and Turtle Creek area specialist, at werner.sir@ plettenbergbay.com or on 084 351 8992.

CXPRESS

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CXPRESS

INTERVAL

8 May 2019

Talia on Toast

Pregnant and complaining Part II Garden Route local TALIA DAY is a mom with two kids, a Viking, and four jobs (online teacher, secretary, transcriptionist, and novelist). Her dream is to brighten someone’s day and make people aware of the fact that their tribulations are not singular, since we all share in the craziness that is life and parenthood.

(If you’ve missed part I, turn to page 8 of the April 10 edition at www.cxpress.co.za)

FTER 38 weeks and six days I deserved the Nobel Patience Prize.

Down went the castor oil (don’t ever, just don’t), then the waiting began…

The first round didn’t work; a second dose was prescribed - my insides had never been so clear, ever. A few little pangs followed, like a monthly dose of hormones that the Red Russians prescribe every 28 days to an undeserving woman.

They were so slight that at some point I was convinced it was my imagination; convinced I was losing my mind. (Remember The Lost Keys?)

I laid my weary, whalesized body down to rest, closed my bloated eyes and started the laborious process of attempting sleep.

My uterus went: “Yes Captain, she is in position, she has laid down, Sir, and they don’t have a linen saver on their brand new bed… Yes Sir, we are in position, Captain SIR!” The gates of pain flooded forth. I went from sleep to 10,000 decibels of pain in 0,001seconds. I was on all fours with my head thoroughly jammed into the wall (repeatedly).

The Viking was rubbing my back, muttering a whole load of inaudible twittering stuff (he could have been admitting to murder for all I heard at that moment).

“Call the midwife,” I muttered through growls.

He called the midwife. I took three Panados (hysterical laughter from the

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audience), hoping to alleviate a semblance of the utter hell my body had forced upon me.

The Viking was trying to inflate the pool, lay down the plastic and find the towels, while I was making a rather large dent in our wall. He said I didn’t scream, I growled like some inhuman thing had taken over my voice box.

I managed to waddle, slither, and stomp into the lounge, using the wall as a pillar.

“I can’t do this, it’s only been a few minutes, I can’t take this anymore, take me to the hospital NOOOW!” The hospital is 24 minutes away - hahahaha!

Leaving scratch marks on his computers desk in between some seriously unladylike cussing, I requested something to tie up my hair.

He brought me ribbons.

A very scary laugh escaped my throat and he scuttled back to the room, while I shouted: “I NEED PINS!” Anyone who knows my Viking knows that ‘scuttle’ is not a word associated with him… He brought me bows.

“PINS! SHANNON! I NEED TO TIE UP MY ducking HAIR!” He brought back my hair box and warily handed it to me, standing at the far end of the room. I picked up one bobby pin, a neon pink one.

With that, the serious pushing started. There I was, holding the bobby pin, squeezing all life out of it, glaring at it like it

was all its fault. There were laser beams coming out of my eyes piercing its innocent metal soul.

But the bobby pin was strong. The Force was strong with this one.

I was really growling an acting coach would have been so proud of my voice projection. “It must come from the diaphragm, darling.”

Viking, at that point, was on his hands and knees in front of me. I threw the offending bobby pin, and grabbed the next offending object within reach his shoulders.

With a beastly growl, I conversationally mentioned that this baby was coming NOW, and he needed to get my pants off.

“NNGGRRROOWWL!” “Oh, my god,” he said, “I can’t do this!”

“You have to do this,” said my voice of calm, not really, but give me some credit here, ok? It goes in like a banana and comes out like a pineapple on steroids.

“Where are these bloody people?!” he asked, as we were still alone, just two people in love (well that was him, I was ready to rip his head off and eat it at that point) in a house, with an empty birth pool and a very clean patch of carpet.

I was still wearing my pants, they were maroon.

Our Doula decided it was the perfect moment to call and say she was still on her way. The traffic

cops at 00:24 decided to do their job and had a road block.

Viking’s ring tone is the Imperial March from Star Wars, dum dum dum, dum da dum, dum da dum! He managed to get my pants to my knees; I was still standing on the carpet, which was not so clean anymore.

DUM DUM DUM, DUM DA DUM! The Imperial March was ceremoniously playing away.

He urgently coaxed me a few centimetres to the right so that I was on the plastic drop sheet; the baby’s head had made its grand appearance.

I was pushing like an impatient woman into the middle of a queue at Home Affairs and… Voillop!

Our Shield Maiden was born to the Imperial orchestra of Star Wars.

My hero, my Viking, delivered our baby girl - all 4.1kg, 55cm of her - after one hour and 10 minutes of hell.

He was the first person to touch her crown, and he caught our fat, enormous, purple, slithery worm. He held her for the first time in her life, he loved her first, he kissed her first. He was the first.

We were so alone. Star Wars was still clanking away in the background.

• Talia on Toast is a monthly column - watch this space for the next instalment in CXPRESS of June 12.

SOCIAL SCENE

8 May 2019

EST. 6/5/1949 AND AGED TO PERFECTION: Plett’s favourite pharmacist - Jafta Engelbrecht, who plies his trade in the middle of Main Street - turned 70 years young on Monday May 6. On hand were his doting daughters, Zoe and Alda, at right above, to celebrate with their beloved dad. “He is simply an amazing man, with the softest and vastest heart imaginable,” said Alda to CXPRESS upon the auspicious occasion of Jafta’s big Seven Oh. “He is also more hardworking and courageous than anyone I’ve ever met. His fighting spirit and positivity, no matter what comes his way, is truly contagious and inspirational. We thank God that he was born and pray that we’ll all be blessed with many more years to learn from and be loved by him.”

People, places & events

CXPRESS

WINTER GETAWAY SPECIAL 1 MAY-31 AUGUST 2019

Escape to the beauty of the Garden Ro u t e d u r i n g w h a l e s e a s o n !

R1180 A NIGHT P/P SHARING 2 night minimum stay/ direct bookings only (breakfast included)

JUSTICE FOR ALL: Attending the official opening of Plett’s court precinct last week were, from left, Desere Lucas of New Horizons with her child Jose, Andiswa Kuwane of KwaNokuthula, Lydia April of New Horizons, and Cynthia Wiliams, Sino Silwana and Mam Zondi, all of KwaNokuthula.

Read the full story on page 5. - Photo: Timothy Twidle

PLETT ROTARY ANNS IN THE PINK: The Plettenberg Bay Rotary Anns have donated four new Pink Rescue Buoys to NSRI Station 14. This is another of the Anns’ pioneering initiatives to contribute to the wellbeing of the local community, and comes hot on the heels of one of these devices having been used in a rescue on Robberg Beach last month. The buoys will be placed at the following locations: Nature’s Valley (Beach 1 and Beach 3), the deep channel at Poortjies, and Peninsula Island on Robberg Nature Reserve. Plett’s volunteer NSRI crew expressed their sincere appreciation to the Rotary Anns for their support.

Pictured from left above with NSRI fundraising chair Dave Haysom are Jill Haysom, Ann Smart, Anns president Marjorie Henley, Biffy Wiener, Fiona Woods, and Beryl Winter.

BOWLS CHAMPS: John Swinley of the Bowls section at Plett Country Club reports that their finals were played on Wednesday April 17, with the men’s champs won by Bill Ingram, pictured here receiving his trophy from club president Roger Wright, left. “Bill defended the title he first won in 2018, and his opponent in the final was no one less that Roger, our president!” explains John, adding that the ladies final was played at the same time. “It was a needle match between defending champion Sheila Horn and new champ Glen Dietrich, who is also our competition secretary. They were peeled at 20 point a piece on the penultimate end with the victory margin a very close measure.” At right, Glen receives her Ladies Singles trophy from Roger.

HERE’S TO THE NEXT HALF CENTURY: Longtime CXPRESS collaborator and friend Howard Selfe turns a fabulous 50 years old today. Have a most excellent birthday, buddy, and here’s to the next 50 years of punning fun, beat poetry and rock ballads (eeuw), good food and excellent cheer.

Cheers!

044 501 2500

Rietvlei Road, Plettenberg Bay

www.emilymoon.co.za

info@emilymoon.co.za

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CLASSIFIEDS

ON THE SOAPBOX

8 May 2019

Letters to the Editor

CXPRESS

Email: editor@cxpress.co.za - Fax: 044 533 0852 - PO Box 1449, Plett 6600

The Great Plett River Braai - a truly local event worthy of our planning As I have often stated in letters before, I don’t believe that Plettenberg Bay is a tourism town as is Knysna and Hermanus, but an events destination, and on the back of these our local tourism industry will grow.

But together with our European birdlife, the Swallows who flock back home around this time of year, we seem to now be

losing our events just as they were becoming destination fixtures.

Well here is one that I’ve been hammering for, for at least five years now.

It’s a very cut-down version of the Queen’s Jubilee, and this is it: We select five different coloured banners to be flown on boats, canoes, rubber ducks - anything that floats. These proceed

up the Keurbooms to the barrage, and return to Poor Man’s Jetty or Forever Resort.

There, under the five flagpoles flying in the colours of the banners, braai stations are run by our different supermarkets and food businesses.

People who don’t have boats can be ferried with bands on board.

I believe that the great

Plett River Braai will develop into a massive event within a few years and the benefit to our town will be enormous.

I am happy to stick my time and contacts into it, but you better hurry up, otherwise my memorial braai will take place beforehand! Anyone interest is welcome to contact me on 083 264 5992.

Paul Deans, Plett

Our president would do better ruling on plastic pollution than climate change I read that president Cyril Ramaphosa has blamed global climate change for the recent severe flooding in the Eastern Cape and KwaZulu-Natal.

I would like to suggest that the floods in KwaZulu-Natal in May 1959 were more severe than the recent flooding, especially in regard to structural damage, as nearly all the road bridges between Amanzimtoti and Port Shep-

stone were washed away.

While I do not consider the president to be an expert on climatology, he could be correct.

However, the World’s Jury is still “out” on a final decision on climate change and there is even a school of thought that the whole current concept of climate change is a hoax.

Geomorphologists will tell us that over the millenniums there have been

Illegal construction an eyesore for Sedge residents

many climate changes on Earth, so the concept is nothing new. There is also evidence that at some time in the past much of SA was covered by glaciers.

Our president would do a lot better for SA if he strongly spoke about the

litter problem - pollution in general with special reference to plastic pollution, and a call for a complete cessation of the destruction of the world’s tropical forests - than to speculate on the cause of floods.

Kevin Meineke, Plett

Advertising in CXPRESS works!

We would like to thank Watty and the CXPRESS team for the service that you have provided to us over the years.

Other than word of mouth referrals and repeat business, CXPRESS has been our sole source of business leads and you have done us proud!

We are now winding down the business and have signed up sufficient work for our reduced

structure for the balance of this year.

Many thanks and best wishes.

Ruth & Allan, Plett (Thanks go to Ruth and Allan from Rulan Projects for their advertising support that contributed towards keeping CXPRESS a free community paper. Feel free to contact them on 044 534 8200 or 082 573 3126 or visit www.rulanprojects. co.za - Eds.)

Keep a child at school by sponsoring a pair of shoes

This construction is situated in Sedgefield, above the Smutsville School. The picture was taken about three weeks ago and in the meantime building has continued.

The area is on a steep slope and has no services at all.

As far as we know, it has not been approved by Town Planning and it is an eyesore for the residents nearby.

Please investigate with Knysna Municipality - what action is being undertaken? - K Walter, Sedgefield (Knysna Municipality responds: “We are aware of the situation and are in the process of finalising notices to the illegal occupants.” - Eds.)

Go check out the Bench of Wisdom!

Sotheby’s Plett manager principal Steve Neufeld submitted these pics and words of wisdom: “I put our concrete bench outside our office on google maps as the ‘Bench of Wisdom’ as a joke, but people started visiting it and giving one star reviews; lol. So I painted the top with chalkboard paint, and now people can share their wisdom or read others’.”

Why not be wise and pay the ‘Bench of Wisdom’ a visit at 9 Gibb Street, 25 Main Street?

I have a request to make.

Something that has been burning within me ever since a parent came to me with a pair of new school shoes and asked me to give it to a needy child, because the shoes where too big for her child.

Since that day, God has been speaking to me to look for needy children in the community and to surprise them with brand new school shoes.

This parent did not re-

turn the shoes to the shop to get the right size for her child; she decided to sponsor it to another child.

Join hands with me to keep a child at school by donating a pair or two.

Already I have some silent partners who are helping me in this initiative.

If you would like to support this initiative, please contact me via WhatsApp on 073 302 3217 or call 062 297 5905.

Israel Jacob, by email

La Luna

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SPORT & ADVENTURE

8 May 2019

Bullet wound fails to deter Tsitsikamma Ultra champ from defending his title HE fourth running of the 60km MTO Tsitsikamma Ultra Trail Run started in cloudy and cool conditions under the Big Tree close to Stormsriver Village at 6am on Saturday May 4.

Alongside last year’s champ, Capetonian race favourite Roelof Mostert, a few unknown challengers in the men’s field stepped up to the starting line.

Ladies champ of 2018 Janet Woodhead was unfortunately unable to attend. With this veteran Plett trailie opting not to defend her title, the ladies race opened up and it was Knysna local and four-time finisher Marie Ayton who claimed the Tsitsikamma Ultra ladies crown.

Mostert took an early lead, which he had maintained by a mere 4 minutes after 18km of braving the challenging route set out by race director James Stewart and his Muddyfoot Adventures crew.

But he managed to extend the gap in the second half of the run to beat second-place finisher Wesley Johnstone by just over half an hour.

Over breakfast on Sunday morning, third-place finisher Chris Ngaka from Port Elizabeth said: “This race is a win - a win for me and my family, as I get to run on one of my favourite trails while they can experience wonderful Nature’s Valley for the weekend.”

In a near-tragic twist of fate Mostert - who has been part of the BUCO trail-running setup since last October - suffered a gunshot wound during a much-published drive-by shooting in the Mother

T

Storms River

TIN HOUSE Self-catering accommodation

PODIUM POSSE: Winner Roelof Mostert is flanked by thirdplaced Chris Ngaka, left, and runner up Wesley Johnstone, with race director James Stewart at right

NATURAL WATER STATION: Chris Ngaka fords one of the many streams providing an abundance of fresh water along the Tsitsikamma Ultra track - Photos: Glenn Murray

City on Wednesday May 1.

“I had no choice but to put the incident behind me and come do this run,” said the community-minded trailie, who ran to raise funds for Plett’s #SoundstheCall charity in 2017 (find out more on page 5 of of that year’s December 20 edition at www.cxpress.co.za).

“It cleared my head to be on the Tsitsikamma trail and I saved myself for the second half, which enabled

me to take 13 minutes off my previous record to finish in 6 hours 38 minutes.”

After the last runner made it home in 13:19, all competitors and their families were treated to a dinner prepared by Plett’s Nguni restaurant team, during which war stories were shared and old friendships cemented.

Check out www.muddy footadventures.co.za for next year’s date.

Harkerville Parkrun hits first anniversary Plett’s Harkerville Parkrun celebrated its first anniversary on May 4. The event has proven to be popular and on average 194 participants either run or walk the 5km course every Saturday. On one occasion during the past festive season, 560 people braved the course and on Easter Saturday this year, in excess of 400 competitors took part. Sponsored by Mr Price Sport and Discovery Vitality, the Harkerville Parkrun is organised and directed by volunteers; it commences at 8am each Saturday, starting and finishing on a field immediately adjacent to Plett’s Harkerville Market. Above from left are runner-up Promise Bajila of KwaNokuthula, winner Robbie Styger of Wittedrift - who finished in a time of 19:38 - and Mathew van Coller of Plett, who came third. At left, fast young Robbie is congratulated by officials as he wins the first-anniversary parkrun. - Words & photos: Timothy Twidle