A New Gender Dictionary

A New Gender Dictionary { One Part of a Distant Whole }

Adoration Noun /adəˈreɪʃ(ə)n/

Affirmation Noun /afəˈmeɪʃ(ə)n/ Left: Exemption, Artemisian, Ace Spectrum Centre: Abundance, Dionysian, Non Binary Right: Movement, Hermean, Transgender

Decadent Adjective, Noun /ˈdɛkəd(ə)nt/

Desire Noun, Verb /dɪˈzʌɪə/

This morning in the mirror I had the makings of a moustache, and after three full days the neck rash had barely gone down. Shaving hurts and lasts at most 48 hours. I don’t need a mirror to feel uncomfortable when I have to scratch at my neck like dog.

Once the redness fades it starts to feel uncanny. It’s not a part of me. It doesn’t hurt anymore so I don’t remember it. There’s no picture to hold. It’s not me.

It’s a person from a few years ago who didn’t shave because they were hiding something or trying to be something. I don’t think they knew. I sure don’t. The only reason I’m only reason I’m not shaving right now is that my electric razor is broken and a wet shave invites days of irritation.

I don’t live behind my eyes. I live in them. There is no little pilot version of me sat in the back of my head watching through the screen. There is no garden of images held within. Its eyes open or the backs of eyelids. Remembering what I look like was never a priority.

I exist in my hands; they’re the parts I see. I am not, I do. I act, move, interact. I am not a noun, I verb. If I stop going then I stop being. A tree in a forest can do whatever it pleases but nobody will care about it falling if it’s not falling on something, for something, or about something, and my body doesn’t do much of anything. Except, occasionally, when hairs get to long, or I cut them too short, irritate me.

Disassociation Noun /dɪˌsəʊʃɪˈeɪʃ(ə)n,dɪˌsəʊsɪˈeɪʃ(ə)n/

I have seen them in them at the protests, And in corporate noodle shops, In all its many permutations, and countless fractal iterations.

Each vibrant stripe to catch my eye I fling atop my flag a while, But they’re cut loose just as readily, Once I’m past the fleeting ecstasy.

It feels limiting to pledge myself, Like the child beneath the spangled glare, Their allegiance bought with social fear, When it was questioning that brought me here.

Though fleeting pride does still flare up, When I see the colours flown So rare is it that banners flutter In winds not born of hateful bluster.

So I’ll endure the bunting in the streets But leave the standards to their bearers, And become the thread that spans the breeze, Through seas of patchwork tapestries.

Flag Noun /flaɡ/

Goth Noun /ɡɒθ/

Intersection Noun /ɪntəˈsɛkʃ(ə)n/ Left: Rebellion, Uranian, Class Consciousness Centre: Diversity, Saturnine, Racial Justice Right: Wellness, Plutonic, Public Health

Intimacy Noun /ˈɪntɪməsi/

For Him In the workplace During discussions As part of a debate To reach a consensus During a heart to heart When you’re wrong To just your heartbeat When you’re alone Once in a while More than you think No, seriously Even more than that For Her When the band is playing As the birds sing Whilst you can In anticipation To gather evidence To credible rumours With stoic confidence Until they mess it up When you know you’re in the right While waiting for the chance to strike To the many worthy causes Whilst awaiting tranquillity For Them To the tormented coast To portents and prophecies As the music swells While the owls sing and orchids bloom When all is lost and hope is but a memory When the pale rider turns to look away To the clatter of rolling dice To a whispers in your lover’s arms As the plan comes together To yet another podcast turned obsession Whilst merry-making To the buzz of an electrical appliance on standby To a choir of insects _________________________________________________

Listen Verb /ˈlɪs(ə)n/

Representation Noun /ˌrɛprɪzɛnˈteɪʃ(ə)n/ Top Row:

Left: Iron, Life Centre: Gold, Healing Right: Sulphur, Light

Bottom Row:

Left: Copper, Nature Centre: Lapis Lazuli, Art Right: Salt, Spirit