The DA 04-01-2011 by The Daily Athenaeum

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APRIL FOOLS day

“We know you love our paper. We know you love it even more when you’re in it. #morgantownproblems.”

VOLUME 124, ISSUE 127

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WVU to add three-week fall break BY ANN DROID

most fabulous person in news

West Virginia University’s Faculty Senate has unanimously approved a measure to add a fall break that will last nearly three weeks for the fall semester. Faculty Senate Chair Alan Stolzenberg said the break will go into effect next semester and will last during most of the month of October. It will run Oct. 1 to Oct. 29. Stolzenberg said the decision was made not so much for the students, but for the faculty who felt they needed to take a break.

“Students complain a lot about needing some time off, but us faculty want some time off too,” he said. “WVU is funding a bus that will take any faculty member on vacation to Dollywood.” Stolzenberg said he is a huge Dolly Parton fan and wants to take all of WVU’s 3,000 faculty members to the Tennessee amusement park during the three-week break. The trip would take more than seven hours and will cost the University approximately $14,000 for the bus fare and hotel stay. He said he is planning

tours of Parton’s wig museum and sequin dress outlet. Earlier this year, WVU’s Calendar Committee approved the addition of a fall break that would add two days to the existing Thanksgiving break. President of the Calendar Committee Barb E. Dahl said the approval of a three-week break took her by surprise. “Our committee only approved the addition of two days so I have no idea where this three-week idea came from,” Dahl said. “Oh well, I’m hoping to meet Dolly in person during this trip.”

There has been one vocal critic of the break. Ruth Kershner, Faculty Senate liaison to the School of Medicine, said she thinks the break is “ridiculous.” “This break is ridiculous,” Kershner said. “Why can’t students be treated to something as nice as a trip to Dollywood?” Kershner is promoting her own trip exclusively for students to Camden Park in Huntington, W.Va. “I always advocate for the students, and I want to treat them to something nice like a vacation,” she said. Kershner said it will cost

DRY, HOT AS HELL

nearly $500,000 to send WVU’s student population of more than 30,000 students to the small park. Representatives from Camden Park said they are unsure whether they can handle the potential demand of the students’ visit to the park. However, they are stocking up on Burnett’s Vodka and Natural Lite beer to sell. Students had mixed feelings about the break because they were happy it was added but were unsure why the University would spend so much money on the trips. Amanda Love, a senior

by al lergy no. 1 sneezer

City manager wants to bring Arizona desert to Morgantown By demon hunger more cowbell

Dry days, dry days, gotta get down on dry days. Morgantown City Manager Terrence Moore thinks bringing a desert to Morgantown could help the city with two issues. Moore said, by reducing precipitation, Morgantown can significantly reduce costs for winter’s road cleaning and paving. “Two of our most contentious issues could be easily resolved if we can simply pursue policy measures and capital projects toward ‘desertification’ in the upcoming fiscal year,” Moore said. “These

measures would very quickly pay for themselves due to the savings in revenue.” The City spent more than $198,690,000 for salt to be used during the 2010-2011 season. Moore said this could be completely eliminated with a reduction in precipitation and the money could then be used to boost the city’s paving budget. “Once we use that money to repave streets we will also have the added benefit of a reduction in future paving needs. Salt and plowing activities are the primary cause of Morgantown’s road deterioration,” Moore said. A measure to reduce rain-

fall in Morgantown could include the construction of a giant dome to divert rainfall and snow, using farm animals to reduce vegetation. Moore said the expansion of the Sahara Desert could provide a model for Morgantown. “The Sahara Desert is growing larger each day, if we can emulate what they are doing there, I believe we can significantly reduce rainfall,” he said. “Coming from New Mexico, I am very familiar with the desert environment, and I think it would suit Morgantown well.” Councilor Ron Bane said he is weary of Moore’s plan.

He said the initial costs of such measures would be too much, and he would rather look within the city for ideas to solve these problems. “Where’s the money for this? Sure this might benefit us in the future, but how are we going to fund this now? Better not be the paving budget,” Bane said. “I think we can find better ideas to reduce our rainfall here in the city.” Bane said he thought, by pairing with WVU, the city could find cheaper ways to reduce precipitation. He did acknowledge that future gains

see desert on PAGE 2

Twitterer begins new paper after too many errors By @Candace07 lar

One infuriated reader had enough. Day after day, he picked up newspapers, and day after day, he was disappointed. “The Daily FAILenaeum, The Charleston Daily FAIL – terrible, so many errors,” said Brian Powell, known as Twitter user @bitmapped. “I just couldn’t take it any more – make sure you quote that as two words: any ... more.”

@bitmapped was frustrated with the errors he saw every day – the sloppily written editorials, incorrectly labeled stories and wordy photo captions. He decided only one person could create the perfect newspaper; himself. After securing the help of longtime friends (@ robertgp421) and @lonniebowe, @bitmapped began printing his own news. For his first article, @bitmapped decided what appropriate apparel for inter-

5.35164964

HOLGS LEAVING

INSIDE

WVU is losing another coach, Dana Holgerson, to Michigan. SPORTS PAGE 3

BLOOD ALCOHOL CONTENT

News: 1, 2 Opinion: 4 Sports: 3, 5 A&E: 7, 8 Campus Calendar: 6 Puzzles: 6 Classifieds: 0

views would be and dubbed the style “not a douchebag from Jersey.” He refused to publish weather-related stories on the front page, limited non-mainstream opinions, abolished anonymous sources of any kind and required all writers to use the same vocabulary. “The word choices are now all consistent,” @bitmapped said. “No individuality means fewer errors.” For @bitmapped, this sentiment rang true, at least for

a little while. He went on to publish more than 10 editions of his “Daily Bitmapped.” On March 31, @bitmapped’s dreams came to a screeching halt. In a routine column bashing West Virginia University’s lack of support for sock monkeys, @bitmapped referred to a previous The Daily Athenaeum column. “Even those hacks at The Daily Atheneaum showed

see twitter on PAGE 2

ISREAL Isreal. Isreal. Isreal. Isreal. Isreal. Isreal. Isreal. Isreal. Isreal. Isreal. Isreal. Isreal. Isreal. Isreal. Isreal. Isreal. Isreal. Isreal. Isreal. Isreal. Isreal. Isreal. Isreal. Isreal. Isreal. Isreal. Isreal. Isreal. Isreal. Isreal. Isreal. Isreal. Isreal. Isreal. Isreal. Isreal.

INSIDE THIS EDITION This is our April Fools Edition. Everything in here is a JOKE. Do NOT get upset about it, and do NOT sue us. Hope you get a good laugh! Xoxo, wvugg.

livinlavidaloca2402@hotmail.com

Window bought to watch for winter weather Weese unsure of new system benefits

Rose’s grenadine/the daily athenaeum

Bieber-music major, said she does not plan to go on the Camden Park trip. “I can’t believe WVU is buying tickets to the park without asking how many students will be going,” she said. “Then again I could really use the entire month of October off to plan my Halloween costume.” Jedd Eye, a freshman general studies major, said he will go on the trip but won’t have fun. “They can’t expect me to enjoy myself,” Eye said. “That would be dictator-like.”

West Virginia University announced Thursday that Vice President of Administration and Finance Narvel Weese received a window in the ceiling of his office and a doppler radar tracker. Weese, who makes the decision to cancel class due to inclement weather with other University administrators, said he was weary about the new additions to his office. He said he normally makes weather judgements based on his “ESPN.” “I guess I actually have to watch the weather now,” Weese said. “Those students, they just always want their classes canceled. They just want to drink. It’s time to grow up.” University President James P. Clements said the gifts were from the University’s Foundation after years of student complaints about traveling to class in dangerous weather.

“I think it’s great,” Clements said. “It’s really moving this University up to the next level. We’re really coming far.” The window cost $100,000, and the doppler radar system cost $500,000. Clements said it was well worth it for the safety of students. “Narvel’s office used to become somewhat ‘cavelike,’” he said. “Now there’s no excuse! Just one more step in the right direction to becoming a great University!” The University normally doesn’t cancel classes until MECCA or the governor’s office alerts it of problems, but Clements said changes will be made in the future. Weese, however, said he was still unsure. The radar system, he said, will block his view of his 65” HDTV. “We’re not dealing with kindergartners or first-graders here,” he said. “I think you should know whether or not you feel comfortable leaving your house and falling on a sidewalk.” Most WVU students were ecstatic with the news of Weese’s window.

see window on PAGE 2

Morgantown officials: Students can only live in WVU resident halls BY Lydia Newsies too nice

The city of Morgantown, the Housing Advisory Committee and the Office of Student Life at West Virginia University have collaborated to institute new zoning laws that will affect students living off-campus as early as next year. Otto Mann, president of the Morgantown Housing Advisory Committee, said the new ordinances would further limit off-campus living for University students. Mann said the move would potentially prompt students to live in the dorms in order to “keep them off the mean streets.” “Students get this attitude like ‘I can make it on my own,’” Mann said. “We need them to understand that it simply isn’t true.” Mann said the ordinance, which would prevent students from living in communities such as South Park or Sunnyside, would limit students to certain areas of the city of Morgantown.

Specifically, it would allow students to inhabit the small area of land directly adjacent to the Student Recreation Center known as St. Francis Field. “It’s a good size,” Mann said. “They should be able to do something with it. Pitch a tent, buy some candles. They could Feng Shui some of the stones.” Shirley Holmes, associate director of the Office of Student Life at WVU, said students would be better off choosing the dormitories when considering their living situation. “Some might say it’s half the space for twice the price,” Holmes said. “ I have two words for those peopletrundle beds. What’s not to love, really?” Many students have voiced concerns over the new policy, expressing their distaste for the new housing ordinance. “I can’t go back to public showers,” said James Beam, a senior general studies

see housing on PAGE 2

DA FAN COMPETITION Oscar “Angel Kitty” Hoffman was voted the DA’s biggest fan. He was chosen because of his ability to go directly to thedaonline.com on the computer and his love for payroll.

APRIL FOOLS EDITION

2 | NEWS

WVU hires out-of-state company to wreck PRT by cOLIN ALLCARZ THOR OF NEWS

Engineers responsible for maintaining West Virginia University’s PRT have secretly paid others to regularly break it in order to stay in business. “I knew the PRT was old,” said Marquon Jankowski, a freshman business management major. “But this shouldn’t be happening every other day. I’m tired of running late for games.” Students have taken matters into their own hands. Kara Beiner, a senior biochemistry major, hired a private detective, Jack Bobbleson of Westover to look into the recent wave of PRT malfunctions. “I had to pick up like three shifts at IHOP, Exhale and Target in order to hire him,” said Beiner. “However it was totally worth it to find out why I loose an hour of class time every week.” Bobbleson was a former member of the Los Angeles Police Department but was forced to retire early after his allergies to red tape became life-threatening. He has since led a successful career in pri-

vate investigation since moving to West Virginia. “It wasn’t that hard,” said Bobbleson. “All I had to do was make a few phone calls.” According to him, earlier claims that PRT failures were the result of computer failure were false. A spokesperson from IBM told Bobbleson, “The software programming on the PRT’s operating system is state of the art and will not need to be updated until December 21, 2012.” The spokesperson who preferred to remain nameless told Bobbleson the problems with the PRT are a result of human errors. “We had nothing to do but sit around and play Sudoku and bet on sports,” said Stan Dauf, a mechanical engineering employed by WVU. “We decided it would be better for business if we hired some guys from New Jersey to break stuff.” Dauf decided to lead Bobbleson to the company the crew hired stating, “Our fun had to end sometime so we decided to cut our losses and cooperate.” Road Enrage was the iden-

tified group responsible for all PRT mishaps since August 1997. Road Enrage CEO and founder, Seth Masters, said his company had a humble beginning as a chop-shop off the New Jersey Turnpike. “When we realized that students were willing to wait around all day for a machine that runs slower than a city bus, we saw a golden opportunity,” said Masters. “Our motto has always been ‘We make great technology s---y one city at a time’. What we do is totally legal in like five or six states. Why do you think NASCAR is so exciting to watch?” Bobbleson presented his findings to University officials on Wednesday. WVU President James P. Clements has decided not press charges against Road Enrage but offered a public contract to the company to spur economic growth. “This will increase enrollment mechanical engineering and create new jobs in Morgantown. That’s just great,” Clements said. rebeccablacklover@rebeccablack.com

Nelson French eyes state capital By Candy Date Love machine

A West Virginia University graduate student is throwing his hat into the ring for governor of the state. Nelson French, who was previously running for Morgantown City Council, has decided to set his sights toward the state capital. France said he could make the largest impact on student lives as governor. “The only way I can really influence all student’s lives is from the governor’s office. I served as liaison to City Council, and this is the next logical step,” he said. His experience with WVU SGA and City Council has adequately prepared him to run a state, he said. “How hard can it be? I’ve lived here for like more than half a decade, I’m in touch with the residents of this state and know how to solve their problems,” he said. “Just like I did a lot of good things with SGA, I can do a lot of good things as governor.” French said he couldn’t think of any specific things he did with SGA, but he knew there were some. “At the very least I made sure every City Council member knew who I was. Certainly no small task,” he said. As governor, he said he

twitter

Nelson French would work to pursue policies important to WVU students. “I want to propose a tuition reduction of around 75 percent, and I want to ask that the legislature provide $200 million to fund club sports,” he said. “Once we get tuition down, I’ll start looking at how I can protect students from landlords.” He said he hopes to improve the landlord-tenant bill by entitling tenants to their full deposit as long as the building is not condemned, and putting a cap on rent of $350 per bedroom charges.

He said these measures would not just help students, but other renters and businesses as well. “With tenants’ rent and students’ rent and tuition lower, they can spend more money to stimulate the local economy,” France said. “I expect a lot of businesses, particularly bars, will benefit from the extra consumer cash.” SGA president Chris Lewallen said France has a great submitted chance of winning because of his past experience and general demeanor. “I think Nelson has outstanding credentials. SGA is excellent preparation for public office. It’s exactly like the real political world - lots of cliques, personal attacks, unfeasible platforms and we use a form of parliamentary procedure,” he said. A special election will be held in October to replace Senator Joe Manchin. The primary will be held May 14. Earl Ray Tomblin is currently serving as interim governor. nelsonfrench4presidentoftheus@us.gov

mapped picked up a copy of his paper, he realized his grave mistake. “The Daily AthenEAum?!” @bitmapped shouted. “The Daily AthenAEum! ZOMG! No, it can’t be.” But, it was. @bitmapped spelled a word wrong, and in an instant, his newspaper career was over. “Everything I based the ‘Daily Bitmapped’ in is now

gone. My philosophy was no errors, and it’s crushed,” @ bitmapped said. “If my newspaper can’t be perfect, no newspaper can be.” And with that, @bitmapped swore off newspapers of all kinds. Instead, he returned to Twitter where he continues to heckle and harass West Virginia journalists.

nance are encouraged to attend the meeting, which will take place at 6:15 a.m. in the Milano Reading Room of the Wise Library. “We’re trying our best to serve the students of the WVU community,” Holmes said. “We just hope that, in the process, they might consider our feelings on the matter.

Our RAs have taken to imposing quiet hours on the chairs in the lounge. That can’t be healthy.” Questions or comments regarding the new zoning ordinance should be directed to the Office of Student Concerns and Misgivings, located in Auckland, New Zealand.

nior political science major. “Between the weather tracker and the window, I hope he’d know when to cancel class.” Other students said the University should consider canceling class on sunny days to make up for when they had to go in dangerous weather. “I mean, there’s like better

stuff to do than go to class on nice days,” said freshman general studies major Jers E. Gyrl. “Don’t they know about our priorities?” #narvelgetsawindow was trending worldwide on Twitter at press time.

“We have to pump up that paving budget. That should Continued from page 1 be our number one priority. I want to wage a war on potto the paving budget would holes,” Bane said. be a very strong incentive to Moore said the city would pursue some kind of the de- hire a consulting firm to desertification plan. termine how to proceed.

“Once we get the consultants in here to tell us how to do this, we’ll begin moving forward with the recommended measures,” he said.

Continued from page 1 the sock monkey some love when they supported creating a blue and gold-themed sock monkey,” @bitmapped wrote. Little did he know that one phrase would ruin all hopes for taking over the newspaper industry. After @bit-

housing

Continued from page 1 major. “I got rid of my soapon-a-rope years ago.” The Morgantown City Council will come to a decision on the ordinance at a special meeting on Monday morning. Those concerned with the passage of the ordi-

window

Continued from page 1 “Last winter, there was like four feet of snow, and I couldn’t see, and I was stuck in that pothole by the library on University Avenue for two hours,” said Cole Mines, a ju-

desert

Friday April 1, 2011

Student Government Association

Vice president cancels elections, plans dictatorship over students by normally nice sga connoisseur

West Virginia University Student Government Association Vice President Ron Cheng announced Thursday he was canceling the April 5 through April 7 SGA elections. The Fusion Party and Pirate Party president and vice president candidates’ positive comments at the Tuesday night debate prompted his decision, he said, which is support by clause 536 of the Student Body Constitution. He plans to take over SGA and run it as a dictatorship to “kick everyone’s ass into the right mindset.” “I just don’t understand how they can be that stupid,” he said. “I obviously failed as a leader, so I’m going to continue until I see progress. I will be the next dictator!” SGA can never be turned into a positive thing, he said. And if the debate was more negative and had more personal attacks, he said he wouldn’t have made this decision. The SGA interns Cheng has prepped the entire year will now serve as his army. “This is another reason why I appointed the ‘Sergeant of

al.lergy@mail.wvu.edu

morepotholesthanparkingspots@ morgantown.com

pushover,” Bailey said. “And that’s something you definitely can’t say for Ron. I think this will be good for SGA’s future.” Pirate Party Presidential candidate Chief-of-Staff Daniel Brummage said he had hoped something like this would happen, and that’s why he ran on Ron’s old ticket name – PIRATE Party. “What this administration has done is incredible, and for Ron to be able to pursue this further is a great opportunity for students,” he said. “By serving under him, I can really prove to the students that I’ve done something for SGA.” Cheng said his transparency with students, especially The Daily Athenaeum, will continue. “Regardless of if I’m running a dictatorship or not, I’m still supporting the students 100 percent,” he said. “This life will be better for them.” His immediate plans include removing Chick-filA from the Mountainlair, changing the mascot from the Mountaineer to the Chengaineer and renaming the downtown campus the “Ron K. Cheng Campus.” normally.nice@mail.wvu.edu

EVERYBODY SPEAK What would you like to see changed at the University? Dr. Clemmy WVU Traditions

“I think it is important for WVU students to embrace the traditions that have been on campus since it was founded in 1980s. The most important tradition is meeting new students,” Clemmy said. “I will work with my senior staff team to make sure every student is rotated throughout the dorms. No one should have to live in a one residence hall for more than a month. They should have to move around and meet people. That’s what makes this University great.”

Dr. Clemmy

submitted

Boone Countee Removing WVU’s “tackiness” “I cannot stand WVU’s school colors. They do not go together at all!” Countee said. “I would totally change the colors to something better like pink and light pink. That way I can always find matching because pink is my favorite color! I was literally born in the color pink, lol.”

Boone Countee

submitted

Wanna Hickey

lameducklar@mail.wvu.edu

notthegirlfrombeetlejuice@mail.wvu.edu

Arms’ position,” he said. “Now I have my army and a body guard, nothing can stop me.” Cheng also has plans for SGA President Chris Lewallen. He said Lewallen will serve as his slave. “It was Chris’ year to get all the spotlight for being president,” Cheng said. “Now it’s my turn, and he can serve me.” Lewallen was unavailable for comment by press time. Provost Michele G. Wheatly met with Cheng before he announced his plans for the first time in his term. She supports his plan and encouraged him to remove the bars from High Street. Cheng had no response to that request at press time. Attorney General Matt Gutta said Cheng was a great leader and role model. “Ron’s always been able to put people in their places,” Gutta said. “I’m excited to see what he’ll do, and really, there’s nothing that can stop him.” Though Fusion Party Presidential candidate Gov. Jason Bailey was disappointed he never got to campaign across from the Mountainlair, he said Cheng is the best leader for SGA. “Some people call me a

Parking and transportation “There needs to be more parking on that campus and easier ways for students like that to get around,” Hickey said. “The University should raise student fees or something like that. If passed, that increase will go toward buying rentable Vespa scooters for students to use. Of course they will be gold and blue. Duh.”

Wanna Hickey

submitted

Amanda Mount Adding music outside the Mountainlair “Students are too stressed out all the time. It is a great idea to blast some good music while they are walking to class,” Mount said. “That way, they won’t be in a hurry. They can stop and listen to good music of bands like Hoobastank, Limp Bizkit and Train. Maybe we can get them to come to FallFest :-).”

Amanda Mount

submitted

Reporting and photos by Wendy Treetops-Glissen.

A&E SPORTS

THE DAILY ATHENAEUM

Friday April 1, 2011

PAGETITLE | 3

FANS OF DA SPORTS

Dday Dx, Yyear april Mmonth fool’s day

304-293-5092 ext. ext. 23 |3DAsports@mail.wvu.edu | DAA&E@mail.wvu.edu CONTACT US 304-293-5092

Holgs moves on to Michigan BY SHAKY HANDS SPORTS WRITER

Put a hold on dreams of West Virginia’s high-flying offense in 2011. Michigan has raided the Mountaineers again. West Virginia offensive coordinator and head coachin-waiting Dana Holgorsen is leaving Morgantown and taking the offensive coordinator position at Michigan, multiple sources confirmed to The Daily Athenaeum on Thursday. “Michigan was more appealing to him for many reasons,” a source close to the situation said. According to the source, Holgorsen decided after spending nearly three months

in Morgantown that he didn’t feel the program could win a national championship the route it was headed. Other reasons, the source said, were Holgorsen was fed up with the maid service at the Residence Inn and the Waterfront Place Hotel, couldn’t listen to head coach Bill Stewart chew his food with his mouth open any more, didn’t like the slopes and crappy roads, and the significant lack of Red Bull in local convenience stores. It is speculated Holgorsen will take a pay cut by moving to Michigan and will not have a head coach-in-waiting situation with current Wolverine head coach Brady Hoke. “The chewing was really, re-

#imtalmbout Kermit

ally loud,” a source said. Fans on message boards tracked a plane that traveled from the Morgantown Municipal Airport to the Ann Arbor Airport early Wednesday morning. A photographer from the Ann Arbor News took photos of Holgorsen exiting the plane with Red Bull in hand wearing a Michigan track suit. There has not been a return flight to Morgantown, according to the creepy flight website. This move continues a growing trend of West Virginia coaches going to Michigan and increases the sentiment that WVU is a “stepping stone” job.

see HOLGS on PAGE 5

photo taken by mike tomlin/pittsburgh steelers

West Virginia head coach Bill Stewart speaks to Dana Holgorsen Wednesday.

WVU installs honor code similar to BYU’s BY JIMMER CARVELLI SPORTS EDITOR-IN-WAITING

After seeing the success BYU has had with students following the school’s strict honor code, West Virginia University has decided to begin enforcing an honor code of its own beginning in the 2011-12 school year. In a statement to the media yesterday, WVU President James P. Clements said he believes the code will assist in the school taking steps forward, toward no longer being thought of as a “party school.” “People think that just because our students like to have a lot of fun, they’re just a bunch

BOOM!

DA EXCLUSIVE! of kids who sit around and drink all day long and don’t go to class,” Clements said. “With this honor code, we can move past those days and move closer to being known for our academics, not just how hard we party.” The WVU Honor Code will consist of six rules that all students will be forced to follow, three of which were adopted from the code at BYU. Those three from the other honor code will be that all students are asked to live a chaste

and virtuous life, use clean language and abstain from all alcoholic beverages and tobacco products. The three original rules added to the WVU code will be that all students must observe a curfew of 10 p.m. every night, eliminate the use of all social networking sites such as Facebook and Twitter and the final rule, which Clements mentioned was the most important and should be thought of as first on the list, is that no student should ever speak of the Honor Code. “I had just watched ‘Fight Club,’ so I thought a rule like that would be pretty cool,” Clements said. “We wanted

to have six rules, and we were stumped about what the last one should be, so I just told them to write that one down.” The new rules are already beginning to have a dramatic effect in the Athletic Department at WVU. Within an hour after word came out about all the rule changes, a total of 50 student-athletes announced their plans to transfer to other schools, and all five of the high schoolers in the Mountaineer men’s basketball recruiting class have decommitted and are looking at other schools to attend. “I just don’t know, man,” West Virginia men’s basketball

head coach Bob Huggins said after hearing of all the losses due to the Honor Code. “You know, we try to recruit these kids to this school for the experience of being a college kid. This code doesn’t let them do that. “Hell, if these rules applied to the coaches, I’d be looking for another school, too.” While Huggins wasn’t completely in favor of the new rules, WVU head football coach Bill Stewart was overjoyed when he found out about the honor code. “I think it’s fantastic,” Stewart said. “Having a set of rules

see JIMMER on PAGE 5

Van Zant flirted with Pirates’ manager position By Jack B. Nimble Sports Writer

Multiple sources close to the situation confirmed Thursday that current West Virginia head baseball coach Greg Van Zant applied and interviewed for positions within the Pittsburgh Pirates organization, specifically the managerial position, this past offseason. The veteran head coach of the WVU baseball program was turned down in favor of Clint Hurdle. Van Zant’s one NCAA Tournament appearance in 17 seasons clearly wasn’t good enough. When reached for com-

ment, Van Zant said he was “over-qualified” for the position, although sources within the Pirates’ organization laughed at the statement. “We were looking for topnotch, or at least average, coaching talent,” Pirates president Frank Coonelly said in a statement. “His resume didn’t even make the first round of cuts.” Members within the Pirates’ organization said applicants such as Charlie Sheen, Bruce Pearl, the Pirate Parrot and current WVU head football coach Bill Stewart at least made it to the second round of the hiring process. Van Zant reapplied as an as-

sistant coach – “or at least a batboy,” according to the application – under Hurdle. In an e-mail retrieved by The Daily Athenaeum through the Freedom of Information Act, Hurdle once again turned down Van Zant, saying “you couldn’t even answer phones in our organization.” Van Zant challenged Hurdle’s harsh statement and reapplied as a volunteer secretary inside the ticket office for Pittsburgh. He interviewed with the team at a Golden Corral – Van Zant’s No. 1 choice of cheap food chains – but was once again turned down. “We might be horrible team with few prospects, no poten-

tial and a worthless administration who cares about nothing except for money,” said Pirates’ general manager Neil Huntington. “But we’re not stupid.” Eventually, Huntington said, Van Zant gave up on the team’s managerial position after learning that the Pirates couldn’t sign former WVU standout Jedd Gyorko, who is currently under contract with the San Diego Padres, and wasn’t allowed to schedule teams such as Canisius, Bryant, Manhattan and New Jersey Institute of Technology (yes, that’s a real school and yes, WVU has scheduled the Highlanders before).

He also would have been forced to hire a pitching coach, something Van Zant said was a “waste of resources.” Sources said Van Zant has applied for over 178 jobs – including assistant coaching positions at Division-II Fairmont State, Fairmont Senior High School and the WVU Club Baseball program – since the hiring of WVU Athletic Director Oliver Luck in fear that his current hold on the Mountaineer program is in danger. “I’m not going to comment on the status of his job,” Luck said. “I think that says enough.” jack.b.nimble@mail.wvu.edu

W.Va. changes state motto to ‘Match the Mountains’ BY JEREMi CURTIS CORRESPONDENT

West Virginia’s no longer “Wild and Wonderful.” The Mountain State has officially changed its motto to “Match the Mountains” based on the recommendation of WVU head football coach Bill Stewart. “Bill Stewart is such a great ambassador for the state of West Virginia,” said acting governor Earl Ray Tomblin. “When I first heard Stew say those now-famous words, I knew that was the future of West Virginia.” Stewart, a former teacher and self-proclaimed West Virginian for life, spoke about the decision atop West Virginia’s highest peak, Spruce Knob, today at a press conference. “I told my lads in that locker room before the Louisville game to ‘match the mountains’,” Stewart said at 4,863 feet above sea level. “We matched those mountains on that day. And, as a state, we will match mountains forever.” West Virginia has gone back and forth on its motto over the last several years. After being “Wild and Wonderful” for many years, it was changed to “Open for Business” before being reverted back to “Wild and Wonderful.” Tomblin said “Match the Mountains” is here to stay. “With such inconsistency across the country and world each day, we wanted to have something West Virginians across the globe could turn to,” he said. “We’ll turn to the mountains and Bill Stewart.”

Hey thur, I’m a walrus, and this is a DA Sports Exclusive! Reaction to the changes in the state’s valleys and hollers were mixed. Some were unable to completely grasp the concept. “Wait, we’re matchin’ what?” said Bonnie Ann Clyde, a concerned homemaker from Big Otter, W.Va. “I don’t get it. So, we are supposed to match the color of them there mountains?” Local teens in favor of the legalization of marijuana in the United States rejoiced following the announcement, as they suspected “Match the Mountains” had an alternative meaning. “Mountains are high, so we’re supposed to match them, right?” said WVU freshman Pierce Cox. A WVU sports information director tweeted from Stewart’s Twitter account late Thursday night that “Match the Mountains” was not a saying for the legalization of marijuana. Instead, it was a statement about hope and heart. “The Mountains of West Virginia are characterized by ONE, an appearance that is IMPRESSIVE – two, a foundation that is SOLID – three, a …” Twitter posts are only 140 characters long, and Stewart did not finish the sentence later. Calls to confirm what the ending of the statement were unreturned. In other news, Stewart was asked if he would make a run

at the governor position, and he said a decision has not yet been made. The fourth-year head football coach would like to finish out his year as head football coach, but said the opportunity would be hard to pass up if it presented itself. “I would run a tight ship, and that’s what these hardworking people of West Virginia want,” Stewart said. “In this black-and-blue league that is state politics, we need a fierce leader with the experience to get the job done.” When asked about his political experience, or lack thereof, Stewart went back to a common phrase used throughout the 2010 football season. “Look it up. Look it up. Look it up,” Stewart said firmly. jack.wry@mail.wvu.edu

The Daily Athenaeum USPS 141-980, is published daily fall and spring school terms on Monday thru Friday mornings and weekly on Wednesday during the summer terms, except school holidays and scheduled examination periods by the West Virginia University Committee for Student Publications at 284 Prospect St., Morgantown, WV, 26506 Second class postage is paid at Morgantown, WV 26506. Annual subscription price is $20.00 per semester out-of-state. Students are charged an annual fee of $20.00 for The Daily Athenaeum. Postmaster: Please send address changes, from 3579, to The Daily Athenaeum, West Virginia University, PO Box 6427, Morgantown, WV 26506-6427. Alan R. Waters is general manager. Editors are responsible for all news policies. Opinions expressed herein are not purported to be those of the student body, faculty, University or its Higher Education Governing Board. Views expressed in columns, cartoons and letters to the editor do not necessarily reflect those of The Daily Athenaeum. Business office telephone is 304/ 293-4141 Editorial office telephone is 304/ 293-5092.

HEADBAND SPORTS WRITER

photo taken by JEFF MULLEN/REcently unemployed

West Virginia head coach Bill Stewart stands at the top of a mountain in rural West Virginia during a press conference about the state’s motto.

JAIL — There once was a man like none other. I loved him like a brother. #ImtalmboutKermit. From the moment I first saw the man, I knew he’d go ham. #ImtalmboutKermit. As I perched atop @JFlow41’s head, I wished I was on top of this man’s head instead. #ImtalmboutKermit. His bench seat forever reserved, a spot Huggs said he deserves. #ImtalmboutKermit. What Huggs doesn’t know is how hard this man goes. #ImtalmboutKermit. He has skills like Mike Jordan, although his name is Kerwin. #ImtalmboutKermit. He usually scores large amounts, but the rec doesn’t count. #ImtalmboutKermit. He always went hard, especially in the Gard(en). #ImtalmboutKermit. Outballed by Kenny Ross, we called him “Hot Sauce.” #ImtalmboutKermit. Points he couldn’t score, his personality was a bore. #ImtalmboutKermit. Like a blown gasket, he never makes baskets. #ImtalmboutKermit. So please NBA, what do you say? Let this guy make pay! #ImtalmboutKermit. I plea, European leagues, this guy doesn’t fatigue. #ImtalmboutKermit. He always says “hard” and eats Jimmy John’s. #ImtalmboutBobHuggins This man can not Dougie, but looks good in a Snuggie. #ImtalmboutKermit. The women say he’s attractive. Teammates say he needs Proactiv. #ImtalmboutKermit. His chance, it never came. But don’t let that overshadow his game. #ImtalmboutKermit. No more condescending, he should be now trending. #ImtalmboutKermit. jflowsheadband@jail.com

Got a nickname idea for coach Bedenbaugh? There once was a man named Rod. He was replaced by a man named Stew. Now, we’ve got Holgs. But, what do we do with this Bedenbaugh fellow? “It’s bee, like the bug. It’s den, like the room in your house. It’s bo, like the bowflex home gym,” WVU’s offensive line coach said. “I don’t really have a nickname, so let’s find me one.” We want to help Bedenbaugh out in his search, so we can call him that in interviews and use it creatively in headlines. This has no benefit to you. Submit your nickname suggestions to dasports@mail.wvu.edu. If they suck, we will make fun of you for years. If they’re good, we’ll probably make fun of those, too. This will run for the next three weeks, whether you like it or not, so deal with it. We don’t care what you think.

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OPINION

april fool’s day

Curved grades lower the standards of WVU West Virginia University is making great strides to maximize the efforts of all students, regardless of their major or actual potential. With this goal in mind, University President James P. Clements has implemented new standards for all professors that will end the possibility of any grades being curved. Changes like this are exactly what the students and the University need in order to end the rituals of couchburning, binge drinking and

student attendance at home basketball games. “I’ve been talking with the students around campus, and they are fed up with the easy standard set by most professors. By not allowing grades to be curved, I have made sure the dropout rate will increase and the students will have to spend every waking hour hitting the books,” Clements said in a statement. For years, the University has had a reputation of being labeled a party school.

The Daily Athenaeum has always felt embarrassed by the attitudes of the student body and awaited such changes that will remedy this problem. Professors on campus have given the students too much leeway when submitting grades. Now, they will be forced to actually teach the material and the students will be forced to learn. If students cannot make a passing grade on an exam, it is

only their fault for not studying hard enough; or perhaps they do not belong in a college environment in the first place. Today’s generation of college students have been pampered for too long. The real world has no remorse and college shouldn’t either. The Internal Revenue Service doesn’t round taxes to benefit citizens, nor do employers give a full-time pay to part-time help. Curving grades does not prepare student for real world

scenarios. Lowering standards for the sake of students passing a chemistry or physics class doesn’t benefit anyone, and failing more students will weed out anyone who may not belong at WVU. In order for colleges to be considered institutions of higher learning, the standards must be raised. Even if that means failing every student.

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Sarah Palin deserves to be the first female US president omar ghabra die-hard republican

“Although we weren’t able to shatter that highest, hardest glass ceiling this time, thanks to you, it’s got about 18 million cracks in it”. It was Hillary Clinton who uttered these words on the day she conceded the Democratic presidential nomination to Barack Obama. She was referring to the 18 million votes she garnered in the primaries as she vied to become the nation’s first female president. Of course, she ceded the nomination to someone who would go on to break a few glass ceilings of his own. As we all know, Barack Obama went on to win the presidency and become the country’s first Muslim and non-U.S. citizen commander-in-chief. Obama’s ascent to the most powerful position in the world put to rest many of the long-held doubts that Americans would be unwilling to elect someone who wasn’t a white male to the presidency. This sets the stage for the rise of a female candidate to pick

up where Hillary Clinton left off and succeed where she fell short. Certainly, if America was ready for a non-Christian, foreign-born president in 2008, it is ready to elect a woman in 2012. That woman is Sarah Palin. Thrust onto the national stage after a desperate John McCain added her to his presidential ticket in 2008, Palin has undergone a transformation from obscure Alaskan governor to international political all-star. During that time, she has proven she has what it takes to shatter the glass ceiling that Clinton could only crack. Time and time again, Palin has demonstrated she possesses the vision and decisiveness to be an effective leader. In what was a prime example of this, Palin had the foresight to resign from her position as governor of Alaska before the end of her term, knowing she could better serve the American people if she was no longer constrained by the shackles of being a “lame-duck” governor. This move was brilliant, as it allowed Palin to accomplish many things she otherwise would not have had the time for. Despite this, many in the political and media establishment have been relentless in attacking her and questioning her

readiness. According to a recent CNN poll, these attacks have been resonating with the American electorate. Roughly 56 percent of those surveyed said they have an “unfavorable” view of Palin. Ambitious politicians afraid of facing her and pugnacious political pundits in the “lamestream media” have seized on polls like this one to argue that Palin is not a viable candidate. They hope their criticisms and lies will dissuade her from tossing her hat into the ring, but they will assuredly fail. Palin will not give up because some poll says she should. She is bold, righteous and a maverick. Palin represents the “real America.” In the “real America,” people aren’t held back by mere facts and the opinions of so-called experts. No, in the “real America,” decisions are made with the gut. As we were recently reminded on this very opinion page, limiting oneself to facts and reason is an incredibly dangerous thing to do. No one embodies this philosophy better than Palin, and no liberal poll numbers are going to stop her. Besides, this wouldn’t be the first time Palin brushed aside the prevailing wisdom to pave her own mavericky road.

Early history of Morgantown CHad wilcox Booze historian

Many students and residents of the great mountain-topolis of Morgantown are relatively oblivious to its storied history. The namesake of the town is Morgan Morgan, one of the first small-poxed Englishmen to wander over from the colonies. His son, Zackquill Morgan (older brother of Jackpen Morgan), founded a village on the banks of a mighty tributary to the Ohio River. The first building Zackquill Morgan built was the Old Stone House, now located on Chestnut Street. The second building he built was Ashebrooke Spirits Trading Post, initially supplied by a moonshine still which drew its waters from the Cheat River since the Monongahela River, much as it is today, was a giant sewage main. As the town grew, demand for white lightning exceeded supply, so Zackquill’s son, Fairchance Morgan, built a dam to increase the still’s reservoir and thus booze production, creating Cheat Lake. Ye Olde Slothful Serpent and Crook’d William’s were the first taverns to pop up in this nowthriving frontier drinking town. Serpent, with three floors of grogging space, was the tallest building within 30 miles, and was known county-wide as the favorite place for itinerant surveyors from New Jersey colony to hang up their tri-cornered hats and let their spiked locks air out. George Washington himself was known to be a frequent patron of Crook’d when passing through the young United States, often seen drunkenly pulling out his teeth and karaoke singing with them in the 1780s Room. After the civil war, Morgantown became part of the new state of West Virginia. It experienced the influx of industry and

wealth typical of non-Southern states in postbellum America. The Victorian zeitgeist had crossed the Atlantic, revealing itself in the architecture of parts of High Street and what would become Woodburn Circle. Morgantown’s bourgeoisie decided that instead of opening a haunted house-themed park on the knoll overlooking the river as originally planned, they would use Woodburn Hall, with its characteristic phallic clock tower, as the centerpiece for an institution of higher learning, which the fetal state was in desperate need (Marshall “University” had been a high school until 1867). Many of the high school graduates of this and other West Virginia towns, too lazy to travel to the University of Virginia or the University of Pennsylvania, decided they needed four years worth of an excuse to spend their parents’ silver dollars in the saloons, and so enrolled in agriculture and mining classes, ancestors of today’s modern, much more useful fashion design and merchandising majors. It is little known that the College of Engineering has an early history of genius. One particularly bright engineering student, Mr. P. R. Teague, submitted for his 1890 undergraduate thesis a groundbreaking design for a novel transportation system that sought to improve upon the above-ground rail networks already in place in major cities. It would be rail-less and electric. It would be personal, it would be rapid, and on good days (when it didn’t rain or snow) it would even be transit. Mr. Teague failed his thesis defense, as he was unable to prove the lasting usefulness of his invention. However, his vision was realized when the original plans were rediscovered in the basement of Woodburn in the 1960s, dusted off, and used almost exclusively to design what we now know as the PRT. Some of

the original 19th century materials were also used in its construction. The computer system that determines car distribution, it happens, was modified from an Atari Pong console. Morgantown’s 20th century expansion coincided with the advent of the automobile: Squeezed by mountains on one side and a swift river on the other, the town experienced significant growing pains. In 1915, Mayor Don Justice passed municipal legislation decreeing that houses could be built anywhere and on top of anything. Plots in what would become Sunnyside were sold to families under the stipulation that, when the houses built became so dilapidated as to be uninhabitable by humans, they were to be leased to students of the University at extravagant rents. It was declared roads could also be laid down anywhere, and engineers were encouraged to design street patterns that violated all sense of space-time (and, they were told, the steeper the better) to maximize traffic jams and minimize available parking so the city could continue subsidizing strip mall construction and ensure the success of suburban sprawl dominated by half-empty modular apartment housing. There has been speculation that M.C. Escher found inspiration for his famous mind-bending perspective paintings after visiting a friend at WVU. In the Roaring’20s, city officials decided to not only leave pot holes unfixed, but also add them to the streets, in hopes to both delay busy bootleggers as well as encourage use of the new MountainLine service, which hitherto only served nocturnally to ferry semi-conscious students from the speakeasies to the dorms. Morgantown has a rich past, much of which remains to be discovered, or rather remembered-in a 21st century historical hangover.

According to sources within the McCain campaign, Palin believed Africa was a single country as opposed to a continent, and who could blame her? Who decided that countries and continents were two different things anyway? Probably some elitist Harvard professor who had been pent up in his ivory tower for too long, farremoved from the “real America” inhabited by “real Americans” like Joe the Plumber and Bob the Builder. This bold attitude is just one of the many ways Mrs. Palin is right in line with the average, everyday American. Like most “real American” families, Palin also manages raising her children while balancing her career. Along with caring for her five children, Palin informs us with her Fox News analysis, entertains us on her reality show, inspires us with the books she’s written and invents new words for us within her Tweets. America hasn’t known someone proficient in so many different ways since Thomas Jefferson. And they say she lacks the competence to lead? These ridiculous claims against the obviously prolific Palin would be amusing if they weren’t parroted by so many people. But alas, it doesn’t matter

‘Waving my hands around like this makes me feel really smart,’ said Sarah Palin, while at a conference for the uneducated and illinformed. what they say. Unfortunately for Katie Couric and the rest of the “lamestream” media, they do not dictate the will of the American people. They can unfairly target Palin all they want because the stars have already aligned for this mama Grizzly. She possesses a combination

of competence and common sense that is unmatched, and they’ve created an unstoppable political force. Sarah Palin has a date with destiny, and she will ride the will of the people to jump every hurdle and shatter every barrier on her way to the White House.

Hazing helps build character and camaraderie in student organizations Tomas Engle Torture enthusiast

Once again Student Government Association candidates had the opportunity to take a bold stand on a vital student issue and came up short. During the second SGA debate on March 29, the candidates were asked for their stance on hazing, and not a single one was able to stand up for what all students know is right and true – Hazing builds camaraderie and strengthens relationships within communities. From the boardrooms of successful major corporations like Enron to the Bush White House, hazing has been essential to building quality leadership in American institutions. Denying students of this valuable opportunity in college, which is the only way many of them will ever have a chance to take part in hazing unless they join the military, would be a disservice to them and America. Sadly though, not everyone recognizes this fact. Even our own state government has it out for hazing as it is defined by the West Virginia State Code, “to cause any action which recklessly or intentionally endangers the mental or physical health or safety of another person or persons, or causes another person or persons to destroy or remove public or private property for the purpose of initiation or admission into any organization ... operating under the sanction of or recognized as an organization by an institution of higher education.” Thankfully, we do have a voice of reason right here on campus in the form of the Student Conduct Board that acquitted SGA Gov. Turd Ferguson last December of hazing. In a hearing on

Dec. 1, 2010, the Student Conduct Board was lucky enough to bear witness to yet another profile of courage in the proud history of hazing. That night they heard the harrowing tale of how on Nov. 14, 2010, at approximately 2:30 a.m. Ferguson was instructing new members in the cardinal principles of “promoting brotherhood,” “stimulating scholarship” and “developing character” by covering them in food and slapping them while blindfolded. This ancient and noble ritual was rudely interrupted by University police, who of all professions should know arbitrary violence and intimidation tactics instill fruitful and lasting relationships. Ferguson, who boldly fled from the scene of brotherhood, later turned himself in to University police only to be put in front of the kangaroo court that is Student Conduct Board. Luckily for us, though, Student Conduct Board bravely followed in the footsteps of former Bush Attorney General Alberto Gonzales by finding Ferguson not guilty of hazing. If none of the members of that heroic Student Conduct Board run for SGA board of governors, Ferguson should proudly reclaim the position he so foolishly resigned from and run purely on a platform of hazing awareness. Only a Ferguson campaign on the tough love platform could bring the campus closer together in shared misery and solve a multitude of campus problems at once. The platform could include reforms to bring hazing into the 21st century by live-tweeting humiliation rituals and networking on Facebook with others on which degrading practices work the best. Tough Love can be integrated into WELLWVU’s campaign by providing a steady and stable supply of emotionally damaged people to the psychological services at the Carruth Center.

And just as the WVU Sustainability program (WECAN) says, “blue and green makes gold,” the tough love platform (WEHAZE) could proclaim “black and blue makes friends.” If the tough love platform is elected, Ferguson could work with Dining Services to ensure that only cage-free eggs are thrown at pledges while being blindfolded naked. The tough love platform would also remedy any and all transportation problems, using only green technologies such as peer pressure and pledge power. Imagine: Pledges in hamster wheels only needing the constant shower of abuse and a plate of drunk breakfast food just out of their reach to power the PRT and MountainLine bus system. Drinking out late at night, but don’t want to spend anymore precious booze money on a taxi? Just start harassing and berating a sober bystander to piggy-back ride you home; that’s the power of pledges. Enacting a tough love platform could put WVU on the national stage against the likes of such prestigious institutions as Yale and Stanford universities. While Yale has had Skull & Bones secret society, a thorough hazing program complete with physical abuse and homoerotic rituals, they have selfishly only opened this valuable team-building to members. A WVU WEHAZE campaign, on the other hand, would be unabashedly egalitarian and join everyone in the abuse, tying us all closer together metaphorically and physically. Although Stanford’s foray into hazing with the Stanford Prison Experiments was professionally executed and involved students of diverse backgrounds, Psychology Professor Philip Zimbardo was scared and ended the quest for fraternal love after only 6 days. WVU can be better than that, and if not, well, then someone’s getting hazed.

Letters to the Editor can be sent 284 Prospect St. or e-mailed to DAPERSPECTIVES@mail.wvu.edu. Letters should include NAME, TITLE and be no more than 300 words. Letters and columns, excluding the editorial, are not necessarily representative of The Daily Athenaeum’s opinion. Letters may be faxed to 304-293-6857 or delivered to The Daily Athenaeum. EDITORIAL STAFF: CANDACE NELSON, EDITOR-IN-CHIEF • MELANIE HOFFMAN, MANAGING EDITOR • TRAVIS CRUM, CITY EDITOR • ERIN FITZWILLIAMS, ASSOCIATE CITY EDITOR • CHELSEA FULLER, OPINION EDITOR • JEREMIAH YATES, ASSOCIATE OPINION EDITOR • TONY DOBIES, SPORTS EDITOR • BRIAN GAWTHROP, ASSOCIATE SPORTS EDITOR • DAVID RYAN, A&E EDITOR • MACKENZIE MAYS, ASSOCIATE A&E EDITOR • CHELSI BAKER, ART DIRECTOR • ALEX KERNS, COPY DESK CHIEF • STACIE ALIFF, BUSINESS MANAGER • JAMES CARBONE, CAMPUS CALENDAR EDITOR • CASEY HILL, WEB EDITOR • JOHN TERRY, MULTIMEDIA EDITOR • ALAN WATERS, GENERAL MANAGER

APRIL FOOL’S EDITION

Friday April 1, 2011

SPORTS | 5

NCAA sanctions (WVU), says Luck Flowers’ headband put in jail making too many good decisions WVU SPORTS NEWS

The legend that is John Flowers’ headband has been placed in jail. The sweat-stopper of the West Virginia men’s basketball team’s star defensive stalwart was found inside the glove compartment of Flowers’ car “So Icey Patty” and was handcuffed and arrested late Wednesday morning outside #imtalmboutkermit’s apartment. The headband was taken to the North Central Regional jail and will not be released on bond. Mr. Band has been charged with breaking and entering “So Icey Patty” and beating up a pet, Flowers’ dog “Nina.” “That *#*!ing dog tried to chew me up,” Mr. Band said. “What was I going to do, just sit there and let it happen?” Headband, which became chronically depressed after abandoning Flowers in search of greater things, is coming off a NBA Dunk contest win. Mr. Band also won an Oscar. But, when Flowers went ham on Providence earlier this year, scoring 24 points in 29 minutes without the headband, it took a turn for the worst for the soggy accessory. “He tried to steal all my stuff. He slid himself under my apartment door and nearly grabbed my T.V.,” Flowers said. The true story of how Flowers and his headband was depicted in a video on YouTube called “John Flowers and Headband: The Real Story.” It has 6 trillion hits as of press time on Thursday. Producer and director of the video and all-around television superstar Geoff Coyle of West Virginia Illustrated said when he was making the video, he could tell something was up with Mr. Band. “His attitude just changed. He went from desperate to get John back to some sort of maniac,” Coyle said. “In all my years of professional experience, I had never seen a headband act that way.” Flowers’ teammate Truck Bryant said that if he “ever, ever, ever, ever, and 1,000 times ever” saw headband again, he would rip it to shreds. “Hahahaha (takes deep breath),” Bryant said.

4 in.

3 1/2 in.

3 in.

2 1/2 in.

Bieber was named the MVP of the NBA All-Star Celebrity Game in Los Angeles in February. The Biebs scored eight points and added two rebounds and four assists in a losing effort in the game. But, he out-balled the likes of former NBA player Rick Fox and Scottie Pippen. A person close to Bieber told The Daily Athenaeum that if JBeebs decides to come to West Virginia, Athletic Director Oliver Luck will demand he sing every national anthem and perform at every halftime. — Compiled by Biebs-4-Ever

KJ to have LBJ-like (decision) special After West Virginia’s loss to Kentucky in the third round of the NCAA Tournament, junior forward Kevin Jones told the media that he was planning on talking with his family and head coach Bob Huggins about whether it would be the right move to make the leap to the NBA. He has made his decision. In a release issued by the WVU Sports Communications Department, the Mount Vernon, N.Y., native has made his choice between returning to WVU and putting his name into the draft, but he’s going to be announcing it in an interesting way. In a move comparable to LeBron James’ “The Decision” special that aired on ESPN, West Virginia Illustrated will be airing a special three-hour edition of “The Bob Huggins Show,” which they will be calling “The Choice,” hosted by WV Illustrated’s Geoff Coyle. The show will feature interviews from Huggins, Jones and his family, as well as every mem— Compiled by EKF ber of the Mountaineer men’s basketball team, former MounBURDETTE-(GOOD) WANTS TO taineers Da’Sean Butler and BE ‘JIMMERED’ Devin Ebanks and WVU offensive Formerly known as Linda Bur- coordinator and head coach-indette, West Virginia gymnaswaiting Dana Holgorsen. tics coach Linda Burdette-Good “The Choice” will air live on added the “-Good” at the end of your local West Virginia media her name when she was married. affiliate on Saturday and can be It’s been that way for over a seen after at any time on http:// year. WVIllustrated.com. No, she isn’t getting married Like James’ “Decision” speagain. But the veteran coach, cial gave all proceeds to the Boys and self-proclaimed college bas- and Girls Club of America, all ketball fan, has officially subprofits made during this show mitted necessary paperwork will go to WV Illustrated’s WVU to change her name to Linda Fan of the Week. Fredette-Really-Good. In a statement released Thurs— Compiled by WVI day, the coach said the name change is in reference to BYU Stew: Ask me about my standout basketball player Jim(new) job mer Fredette who was named West Virginia head football national collegiate basketball coach Bill Stewart was in a rather player of the year. chipper mood following practice “I just love him,” Fredette-Reon Wednesday. ally-Good said. “He always scores Reporters asked West Virginia 195 points in my book.” head football coach Bill Stewart Fredette-Really-Good admitwhat position he would like to ted her basement is filled with have following his final season as memorabilia of the BYU star. head coach. Such items include a game-worn Stewart, who will be replaced jersey, a picture of the gymnasby current offensive coordinatics coach and basketball player tor Dana Holgorsen in 2012, said that Fredette-Really-Good phohe would like to have a new potoshopped herself, and a piece of sition at the University as Sensagum that Fredette once chewed. tionalism Consultant. When asked if the name “I know it when I hear it or change could positively afread it,” Stewart said. “That’s fect WVU’s recruiting efforts, sensationalism.” Fredette-Really-Good said she Stewart said he commonly really didn’t care, unless it meant goes through newspapers across recruiting “Fredette into marthe area and reads stories. When riage with her.” he sees a story that features Jimmer, himself, was unable some sort of sensationalistic to be reached for comment, citquality, he puts an “X” through ing BYU’s honor code prevents the story. men from publicly talking about “I’m going to be the best conwomen. sultant ever,” he said. “And if I’m In related news, senior Amy not getting the job done, they Bieski changed her named to won’t have to fire me, I’ll quit.” Amy Bieki. When asked to define sensationalism (empiricism that limits — Compiled by Tony For-Threety experience as a source of knowledge to sensation or sense perHuggins recruiting Biebs ceptions), Stewart had a quick, It looks like West Virginia less technical definition. men’s head basketball coach Bob “When those lads lie,” StewHuggins has Bieber Fever. art said. “Look it up. Look it up. The paparazzi snapped phoLook it up.” tos of Huggins and superstar singer/actor Justin Bieber at a lo- — Compiled by Dana cal ice cream parlor earlier this week. Dalton to become (Dr.) Huggins is reportedly recruit- Pepper ing the 17-year old to be the West Virginia men’s basketball team’s go-to 3-point shooter in coach Bob Huggins confirmed the future. on Thursday afternoon guard “Never say never,” Huggins Dalton Pepper would be leaving sang over the phone to reportthe team to pursue his doctorers on Wednesday. “I will fight ate degree. till forever. Whenever you knock Pepper, who earned his bachme down, I will not stay on the elor’s degree in athletic coachground.” ing education and master’s de-

gree in sports management, will attempt to secure his Ph.D. in kinesiology. “We support Dalton in whatever endeavor he would like to take on,” Huggins said. “In my time with him, he was a pleasure to work with, and I hope he will come around to help out the young guys next year.” The 6-foot-5 sophomore averaged 3.1 points-per-game in his first year with the Mountaineers, and 3.9 points-per-game last season. Pepper’s roommate, forward Deniz Kilicli, was stunned by the guard’s decision to leave the team. “I am not going to lie,” Kilicli said. “I am completely surprised by his decision to leave the team, but he is finally going to achieve his dream of living up to the name Dr. Pepper.” For Pepper, though, the decision to pursue the doctorate degree was something he has always wanted to do. “Growing up, my friends always called me Dr. Pepper, so I always used to drink Dr. Pepper and wear Dr. Pepper shirts,” Pepper said. “Now, even my Twitter name is about Dr. Pepper, so this was only natural to do.” Under NCAA rules, Pepper will maintain his last two years of eligibility should he decide to play again in the future. — Compiled by DRP

JOHNSON TAKES OVER FOR CARIDI Just a week after MSN Sports Net announced play-by-play man Tony Caridi would be leaving to take a job at ESPN, it made an announcement that it has found a replacement. And it’s a name and voice many people have probably heard before. Gus Johnson, formerly of CBS Sports and the voice of the Madden NFL video game franchise, has accepted an offer to become the play-by-play announcer at MSN Sports Net for West Virginia football and basketball games. In his time providing the playby-play for NFL and college basketball games for CBS, Johnson was known for his over-the-top excitement when games came down to the wire. On Thursday, he had that same excitement when he talked about the opportunity to work with MSN. “It’s UN-BE-LIEVABLE to get to work with MSN and West Virginia University,” Johnson said. “To be in the same booth as great broadcasters like Tony Caridi and Jack Fleming is AS GOOD AS IT GETS. I can’t wait to call games for the Mountaineers as they go BOOMTOWN on the Big East Conference. “HAHA!” Johnson will start calling games for the Mountaineers at the beginning of football season. — Compiled by GUS HUGGS, HOLGS EARN ENDORSEMENT DEALS Since West Virginia men’s basketball head coach Bob Huggins began his career in Morgantown, he has mentioned Jimmy John’s sandwiches 68 times during press conferences. On Monday, the company finally caught on to Huggins’ plan and offered the veteran coach the opportunity to become the spokesperson for these sandwiches he loves so much. “Honestly, I’m kind of surprised it took them this long to figure it out,” Huggins said. “I’ve been throwing myself at them since I got here. I just want free sandwiches, man.” A press release sent out earlier this week by Jimmy John’s stated Huggins will be its lead spokesman for a special promotion that will be starting today at all local Jimmy John’s. Huggins will receive as many as two sandwiches from Jimmy John’s per day. And Jimmy John’s isn’t the only company who has decided to take advantage of WVU’s most popular members of the coaching staffs. Thursday, it was announced Red Bull would also be starting a similar campaign featuring West Virginia offensive coordinator and head coach-in-waiting Dana Holgorsen. As part of Holgorsen’s deal, Red Bull has decided to give the young coach a Red Bull truck to drive around Morgantown with, as well as 24 cans of the energy drink for him for every WVU football game. “It’s pretty cool, I guess,” Holgorsen said. “I mean I like Red Bull and was probably going to drink that many for every game anyway, so I might as well be paid to drink it.” — Compiled by GVZ

bY BILL LONEY CORRESPONDENT

The NCAA has sanctioned the West Virginia University Athletic Department for decisions made by Athletic Director Oliver Luck. Apparently those choices were too good. WVU received a notice of allegations from the NCAA for the second time in less than a year that detail how the decisions Luck has made since taking over in July have benefited the Athletic Department too much. The NCAA, which is likely to release its results for a previous investigation into WVU’s football program, said that Luck “failed to promote an atmosphere of mediocrity.” “Mediocrity?!?!” Luck asked and yelled at the same time after receiving the notice of allegations in his mailbox on Thursday. “I didn’t sign up for this bullsh*t.” The seven-page document details all of Luck’s decisions since replacing long-time Athletic Director Ed Pastilong. In that time, Luck has let long-time volleyball coach Veronica Hammersmith and tennis coach Marc Walters go. He hired volleyball coach Jill Kramer and tennis coach Tina Samara to replace the coaches. He brought in former Oklahoma State offensive coordinator Dana Holgorsen to be offensive coordinator in 2011 and head football coach in 2012, which will oust current head coach Bill Stewart. Outside of that, Luck has gotten rid of the Athletic Department’s academic program, fully funded the 14-time national champion rifle program

and made more money. “He just came in here and started to make changes that a school like West Virginia has never made before,” said an NCAA representative who wanted to remain anonymous. “One day, Eddie was in there chillin’, and the next day we opened the papers and saw all these changes.” The source said usually first-year Athletic Directors don’t make such decisions and when they do it leads to failure. When the NCAA saw where WVU’s Athletic Department was headed, it had to step in. “The thing about this situation is that all of this was working,” the source said. “We couldn’t let this happen.” Much of the document explains why it was against NCAA regulations to hire Holgorsen as offensive coordinator and head coach-in-waiting at WVU. The NCAA called this decision “a mistake.” It referenced a telecast from the 2010 Gator Bowl, which details quotes from Stewart saying WVU would win a national championship in 2011. “We see no reason why Stewart would lie,” the notice of allegation read. Second-year University President James P. Clements couldn’t find the “doing too good of a job” rule in the NCAA handbook. According to the source with the NCAA, the rule is in a separate handbook titled “Talk about too much success.” WVU could be given multiple penalties for this NCAA violation including being forced to continue its in-state rivalry with Marshall in every sport

Do you like Keith Tandy’s hair long or short?

Vote in our very important, but non-existent poll at www.thedaonline.com. for the rest of time, forcing WVU to sign a five-year contract extension for baseball coach Greg Van Zant or tearing down a nearly finished basketball practice facility that is expected to be completed sometime this year. “Can’t they just take away scholarships or something?” Luck asked. bill.loney@mail.wvu.edu

Huggs/Holgs make scoring bet for ‘11 Newly hired West Virginia offensive coordinator and head coach-in-waiting Dana Holgorsen has had three months in Morgantown. During that time, Holgorsen has had the chance to take in different unique aspects the WVU campus has to offer as well as make a few new friends. One of which is men’s basketball head coach Bob Huggins. Holgorsen and Huggins – or Holgy Bear and Huggy Bear as they prefer to be called – hit it off during the Mountaineers’ basketball season this year. “Bob is a great guy,” Holgorsen said. “We’ve spent a lot of great times together already. That man can get crazy.” Those nights spent together have allowed the two friends to consummate a bit of a friendly

HOLGS

Continued from page 3 Former WVU men’s basketball coach John Beilein went to Michigan in 2007. Later that year, former WVU football coach Rich Rodriguez and a majority of his staff left for Ann Arbor, Mich., as well. He was fired earlier this year. “He has no idea there is a trend, and I don’t think he cares either,” the source said. Holgorsen is likely to take his entire offensive staff, and the team’s defensive staff may make the move to Michigan, as well. This leaves West Virginia in

JIMMER

Continued from page 3 like this is going to be great for us as we continue to recruit strong, high-character young men.” Even with their head coach behind having all these new rules, some of the players admit that they have mixed feelings about it. “It’s definitely going to be tough,” said wide receiver Bradley Starks. “But I think in the long run, if we don’t slip up (following the code), it’ll help us out after we leave here.” While the players who will have to live by the Honor Code next year are figuring out just how they’ll be able to put up with the rules without breaking them, the ones who are gone after this year feel very relieved that they won’t have to deal with that dilemma. “You’ve got to feel kind of bad for those guys,” said for-

wager. Holgorsen bet Huggins his offense would outscore Huggins’ offense in at least five games this season. Holgorsen’s assertion left many with their jaws dropped, but none were more shocked than current football coach Bill Stewart. “I don’t play dirty like that,” Stewart said. “When we get up by a touchdown early, I bring in the big boys and start trying to milk the clock. People need to understand that a win is a win whether it is by 50 points or one point.” Stewart didn’t stop there, though. “I am 2-1 against South Florida. Look it up,” Stewart said. “I didn’t get that record against them by trying to score as many points as possible. I did it by playing it close to the vest

and being nice to my good friends Jim Leavitt and Skip Holtz.” A statement released by the WVU Sports Communications department said the winner would receive the key to the penthouse suite at the top of the Waterfront Place Hotel and a lifetime supply of any beverage of their choice. The loser has to do a one-onone interview with Bob Hertzel. Holgorsen said he likes his chances of coming away with trophy and lifetime bragging rights. “I went to a couple of their games this season,” Holgorsen said. “When they struggle to makes shots, they really struggle. We are really going to have a chance at winning this bet.”

a bind, as the move comes in the middle of spring practice during the new offense’s installation period. West Virginia Athletic Director Oliver Luck was not available for comment. It is rumored that he is currently already searching for a replacement. On West Virginia’s long list of candidates for offensive coordinator is not former offensive coordinator Jeff Mullen. Rodriguez, who is currently without a job, could be among the early favorites to take the position. Rodriguez’s agent Mike Brown would not speak about the opening other than

to say that if it was available, Rodriguez would jump at the chance to come back to Morgantown. “He would work for food at this point,” the agent said in an off-the-record conversation that this reporter ignored. Head coach Bill Stewart is not a candidate to continue as head football coach following the 2011 season, even after Holgorsen decided to leave. An Athletic Department source told The DA that Luck would hire Stewart’s son Blaine before he kept the fourth-year head coach.

— gvz

rich.guy@mail.wvu.edu

mer WVU forward John Flow- more than two seconds withers. “I mean, I know that if I out getting kicked off.” had to go by all these rules, I probably wouldn’t have lasted james.carvelli@mail.wvu.edu

Talk about sports

with The Daily Athenaeum sports staff

APRIL FOOL’S EDITION

6 | CAMPUS CALENDAR

CAMPUS CALENDAR CAMPUS CALENDAR POLICY To place an announcement, fill out a form in The Daily Athenaeum office no later than three days prior to when the announcement is to run. Information may also be faxed to 304-293-6857 or emailed to dacalendar@mail.wvu.edu. Announcements will not be taken over the phone. Please include

FEATURE OF THE DAY GOOD NEWS EVERYONE! IT’S FRIDAY! Oo-ooh-ooh, hoo yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah Yeah-ah-ah Yeah-ah-ah Yeah-ah-ah Yeah-ah-ah Yeah, yeah, yeah 7am, waking up in the morning Gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal Seein’ everything, the time is goin’ Tickin’ on and on, every body’s rushin’ Gotta get down to the bus stop Gotta catch my bus, I see my friends (My friends) Kickin’ in the front seat Sittin’ in the back seat Gotta make my mind up Which seat can I take? It’s Friday, Friday Gotta get down on Friday Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend, weekend Friday, Friday Gettin’ down on Friday Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend Partyin’, partyin’ (Yeah) Partyin’, partyin’ (Yeah) Fun, fun, fun, fun Lookin’ forward to the weekend 7:45, we’re drivin’ on the highway Cruisin’ so fast, I want time to fly Fun, fun, think about fun You know what it is I got this, you got this My friend is by my right I got this, you got this Now you know it Kickin’ in the front seat Sittin’ in the back seat Gotta make my mind up Which seat can I take? It’s Friday, Friday Gotta get down on Friday Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend, weekend Friday, Friday Gettin’ down on Friday Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend Partyin’, partyin’ (Yeah) Partyin’, partyin’ (Yeah) Fun, fun, fun, fun Lookin’ forward to the weekend Yesterday was Thursday, Thursday Today i-is Friday, Friday (Partyin’) We-we-we so excited We so excited We gonna have a ball today Tomorrow is Saturday And Sunday comes after... wards I don’t want this weekend to end R-B, Rebecca Black So chillin’ in the front seat (In the front seat) In the back seat (In the back seat) I’m drivin’, cruisin’ (Yeah, yeah) Fast lanes, switchin’ lanes Wit’ a car up on my side

all pertinent information, including the dates the announcement is to run. Due to space limitations, announcements will only run one day unless otherwise requested. All nonUniversity related events must have free admission to be included in the calendar. If a group has regularly scheduled meetings, it should submit all

(Woo!) (C’mon) Passin’ by is a school bus in front of me Makes tick tock, tick tock, wanna scream Check my time, it’s Friday, it’s a weekend We gonna have fun, c’mon, c’mon, y’all It’s Friday, Friday Gotta get down on Friday Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend, weekend Friday, Friday Gettin’ down on Friday Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend Partyin’, partyin’ (Yeah) Partyin’, partyin’ (Yeah) Fun, fun, fun, fun Lookin’ forward to the weekend It’s Friday, Friday Gotta get down on Friday Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend, weekend Friday, Friday Gettin’ down on Friday Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend Partyin’, partyin’ (Yeah) Partyin’, partyin’ (Yeah) Fun, fun, fun, fun Lookin’ forward to the weekend

April 1 OFFICIAL DISNEY LYRICS DAY is to be celebrated as loudly as possible. Scream them into the ears of your closet friends so they know how much you love “Beauty and the Beast.” SOCIALITE BRUCE WAYNE will be holding a sweet party that every criminal in Gotham City is invited to. This isn’t a trick by Batman at all. OH GOD A BEE is flying by my desk and won’t leave me alone. It is really big and keeps almost landing on me. It might be a wasp or something, I can never tell the difference.

April 11 JOSH FERNANDEZ will be turning 23, so slap him hard on the back and congratulate him for not yet winning a Darwin award.

Every Friday ANIME CONVENTION will be held in the windowless van of Peter File. Children 12 and under get in free as well as all the candy they can eat. CAMPUS CALENDAR EDITOR JAMIE CARBONE will be eating a McDonald’s happy meal with only his cats to keep him company. For more information, email NobodyLovesMe@gmail.com.

Every Sunday BOOMTOWN, the official town of booms, will be opening in the heart and soul of John Terry. While it may not exist in person, everyone can travel to it if they believe. IS THAT BEE BACK? Oh man, everybody watch out. It brought friends with it this time. Does anybody know where the can of Raid is?

Continual FRIDAY ENCORE! Oo-ooh-ooh, hoo yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah Yeah-ah-ah Yeah-ah-ah Yeah-ah-ah Yeah-ah-ah

information along with instructions for regular appearance in the Campus Calendar. These announcements must be resubmitted each semester. The editors reserve the right to edit or delete any submission. There is no charge for publication. Questions should be directed to the Campus Calendar Editor at 304-293-5092.

Yeah, yeah, yeah 7am, waking up in the morning Gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal Seein’ everything, the time is goin’ Tickin’ on and on, every body’s rushin’ Gotta get down to the bus stop Gotta catch my bus, I see my friends (My friends) Kickin’ in the front seat Sittin’ in the back seat Gotta make my mind up Which seat can I take? It’s Friday, Friday Gotta get down on Friday Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend, weekend Friday, Friday Gettin’ down on Friday Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend Partyin’, partyin’ (Yeah) Partyin’, partyin’ (Yeah) Fun, fun, fun, fun Lookin’ forward to the weekend 7:45, we’re drivin’ on the highway Cruisin’ so fast, I want time to fly Fun, fun, think about fun You know what it is I got this, you got this My friend is by my right I got this, you got this Now you know it Kickin’ in the front seat Sittin’ in the back seat Gotta make my mind up Which seat can I take? It’s Friday, Friday Gotta get down on Friday Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend, weekend Friday, Friday Gettin’ down on Friday Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend Partyin’, partyin’ (Yeah) Partyin’, partyin’ (Yeah) Fun, fun, fun, fun Lookin’ forward to the weekend Yesterday was Thursday, Thursday Today i-is Friday, Friday (Partyin’) We-we-we so excited We so excited We gonna have a ball today Tomorrow is Saturday And Sunday comes after... wards I don’t want this weekend to end R-B, Rebecca Black So chillin’ in the front seat (In the front seat) In the back seat (In the back seat) I’m drivin’, cruisin’ (Yeah, yeah) Fast lanes, switchin’ lanes Wit’ a car up on my side (Woo!) (C’mon) Passin’ by is a school bus in front of me Makes tick tock, tick tock, wanna scream Check my time, it’s Friday, it’s a weekend We gonna have fun, c’mon, c’mon, y’all It’s Friday, Friday Gotta get down on Friday

HOROSCOPES BY BUCK SEXINGTON BORN TODAY This year, you change your focus. You become much stronger and more direct. An unusually high level of energy could backfire if you don’t funnel this gift appropriately. Consider taking up an easy sport or exercise class to incorporate into your daily life. You are beginning a new luck cycle and opening up to many possibilities. If you are single, someone (or several someones) could enter your life. Allow everyone do his or her thing, as trying to encase or describe these bonds would take away from them. If you are attached, be sensitive to your sweetie. He or she doesn’t have the energy that you do. PISCES can be cranky. Stupid PISCES. Why won’t PISCES ever pick up the tab at the bar? What a selfish astrological sign. ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19) HHHHH Your nervous energy is so high, you might feel as if you are on the edge of a cliff. Mars, your ruling planet, changes signs. Any edginess comes with the turf when your ruling planet changes signs. Tonight: Go off and enjoy a favorite sport. I haven’t been to a sporting event in years. TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20) HHHHH Your ability to key into another person could amaze many people. Don’t settle for anything less than what you want. Remain sure of yourself when making choices. Tonight: Accept a friend’s invitation, or maybe invite this friend out. GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20) HHHH Sometimes you could be much harder on yourself than need be. For example,

I always go out of my way to make sure that each of these horoscopes have a heart and soul for the reader to enjoy. I want to make sure everyone is happy with the horoscope they read. CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22) HHHH If you have been longing to take off, you have a small window of opportunity if you want to make it so. I never get to take off. They just keep giving me work, day after day, always making horoscopes. Maybe I’d like to create the crossword or make a word jumble or something. Any kind of variety would be good. LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22) HHH Your condition does not go unnoticed by many people. My condition goes unnoticed by everyone. My friends never call to hang out; the only time I ever hear from my brother is when he needs to borrow money. It can really be frustrating. What say we go and get a drink? I know a great place right down the street, no cover either.

sick and I doubt anyone will notice. SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21) HH People seem to be distracted and leave a piece of a project or some mutual venture undone. I’m only distracted because I still don’t know why I’m working at this job. There is no room for advancement, and it isn’t like my horoscopes are illustrious enough to make it into Newsweek or anything. SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21) HH You have the ability to break patterns and get ahead. Must be nice to be able to do that. Maybe I should do that. Really mix things up, maybe give people a surprise they wouldn’t expect. CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19) HHH Finish up calls; clear your desk and go and clear the Thetans out of your system. From here on out, these horoscopes are all Scientology, all the time. I hope you guys are looking forward to halting Xenu’s evil plot to conquer the galaxy.

VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22) HHH How you handle yourself under pressure will be remembered. What you won’t be remembered for is getting a drink with a friend. One drink couldn’t hurt, but I guess you have better things to do. I had better things to do when I helped you move, but clearly that doesn’t matter.

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18) HHHH Continue to hold yourself back from a major expenditure. Do Scientologists even believe that Xenu wants to conquer the universe? I guess I’ll call Tom Cruise and figure this out for myself. Too bad he isn’t returning my phone calls. I guess nobody still wants to be my friend.

LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22) HHH You have pushed very hard to achieve a goal. I guess that goal is ignoring me. Way to be a friend. You’re just like this job. I haven’t gotten a raise in years either. Nobody will make small talk with me when they walk by my cubicle. I could go home

PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20) H I already told you, PISCES are jerks. BORN TODAY Today is my birthday, but nobody got me anything. Screw this, I quit. If anyone needs me, I’ll be in the Bahamas.

FRIDAY APRIL 1, 2011

COMICS

Cow and Boy

by Mark Leiknes

Cow and Boy is really good.

Probably the best comic out there these days.

Did anyone else get tricked? I only cried a little.

PUZZLES DIFFICULTY LEVEL DANGER ZONE

Complete the grid so each row, column and 3-by-3 box (in bold borders) contains every digit, 1 to 9. For strategies on how to solve Sudoku, visit www.sudoku.org.uk.

SMARCH’S PUZZLE SOLVED

DOWN 1 Island where florins are spent 6 Unoccupied 10 Mental keenness 14 Charged 15 Hold 16 Minimally 17 Where few people live 20 “Is that __?” 21 Entertainer 22 Rural pro 23 Having no chapters? 25 Prohibit 27 Hardly handy 28 Quiet, in a way 30 Mattingly’s predecessor 31 20-20, e.g. 33 Persian for “crown” 35 Summer arrivals 36 Debugging aid? 41 Bar patron who appears in every “Cheers” episode 42 Bordeaux bottom 43 Clavell’s “__-Pan” 44 Marsh bird 46 Norse war god 48 Schism outcomes 52 Jai alai ball 54 Float seller 56 Clark’s “Mogambo” co-star 57 Huge 59 Solid-rock center? 60 Pick wielder 63 Three-time ‘80s speed skating gold medalist Karin 64 Kathryn of “Law & Order: C.I.” 65 Um preceder? 66 Early Sam & Dave record label 67 Club income 68 Head lock ACROSS 1 Lawyer’s suit? 2 Spoil, as a picnic 3 How a knot may come 4 Like some judgment 5 Kennebec River outlet, with “the” 6 “Same here” 7 2008 Adam Brooks romantic comedy 8 Contact, e.g.

9 Show anger, say 10 Ô’Do __ Diddy Diddy’’: 1964 hit 11 Start of a rule with numerous exceptions 12 Trunk item 13 Most severe 18 “__ tu”: Verdi aria 19 Sold (for) 24 Bouncy 26 Kicks 29 Drink from a dish 32 What an ellipsis may mean: Abbr. 34 Black shade 36 Big-time 37 Tempest in a teapot 38 Colombo’s country 39 Same old same old 40 You’ll be busted if you use it 45 Blues singer James 47 Extents 49 One in a cruise ship line 50 Chucks 51 Floods

THERE ARE NO ERRORS ON THIS PAGE

This page has passed the @bitmapped test. There are no errors here. Move along now.

53 Had something 55 Full deck in old Rome? 58 Drive-__ 61 St. with a panhandle 62 Easter opening?

SPAIN’S PROBLEMS SOLVED

APRIL FOOL’S EDITION

Friday April 1, 2011

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT | 7

Apple’s iPhone 5 to include bigger, better glowing logo by mike wrotch A&E editor

Apple’s announcement of the iPhone 5 has been called “a momentous achievement in design and technology.” CEO Steve Jobs announced a much-anticipated feature for the new release. “If you look at the back, it has a bigger, glowing logo,” Jobs said. “Look how good this looks.” Various Apple news websites had speculated the new phone could boast an even faster processor, 3-D technology and wireless payment technology. Jobs said the bigger Apple logo will enhance the phone’s status to levels previously unseen. “We’re even more happy with this phone than we have ever been with any phone we

have ever used in the history of telephones,” Jobs said. “This truly builds on what Apple is known for: exceptional technology at exceptional prices.” Apple news blog InsideApple dubbed the new logo, which will be 200 percent bigger, as “genius.” “The larger Apple logo will let everyone who has a MacBook or MacBook Pro finally feel like their phone matches their computers,” said technology reporter Jack Quimby. MacBook and MacBook Pro laptops currently feature a backlit logo of the company that shines at all times. “I can’t wait to finally let everyone see I have an entire family of Apple products,” said freshman engineering student Chip Whitley. “When it gets dark in the Engineering Sciences Building, everyone will know I have prestige.”

The iPhone 5 does not include any upgrades typical of the company’s updates to its product list. When the company launched the iPhone 4, it was completely redesigned from the iPhone 3GS and included a high definition video camera. The new phone will be available in July and will cost $399, due to the parts necessary for the glowing logo. Some industry insiders have questioned the power consumption of the new logo, but Apple downplayed any significance it would have. “People want their Apple products to glow like brilliant beacons of brilliance,” Jobs said. “We haven’t fixed the antenna yet, and the battery lasts about 30 minutes, but look how good it is.” daa&e@mail.wvu.edu

Peter Crumpet

Apple CEO Steve Jobs announces new iPhone.

Internet sensation Rebecca Black scheduled to play WVU Fallfest

Pop star Rebecca Black is scheduled to play at the 2011 WVU Fallfest.

by tammy fletcher a&e writer

Internet sensation Rebecca Black will play at West Virginia University’s 2011 FallFest. Much like teen musician Justin Bieber, Black was discovered via a music video on YouTube. Her hit, and only song, ever, “Friday,” has gathered more than 69,000,000 hits on the site. Furthermore, as of Thursday, the song currently stands as number 53 on iTunes top songs list. Though the video has received much negative and offensive criticism, Black isn’t going to let anything get in the way of her aspiration. The teen recently confirmed she has started mate-

rial in preparation for her debut album. In a recent interview Black said she is recording a new song titled “LOL.” It gets better. In a conference call with The Daily Athenaeum Wednesday, Black said she would be more than happy to attend WVU’s annual fall concert and can hopefully convince her idol, Justin Bieber, also appearing at FallFest, to perform a duet of “Friday.” “With ‘Friday,’ I was trying to connect with my audience and simply confirm Thursday comes before Friday, and Saturday follows. After Saturday comes Sunday,” Black said. The singer also stated she felt this would be best represented through the flipping of pages in a calendar.

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“I can’t wait to have her here,” said Stacey Krasakovichistanpanda, a sophomore psychology major. “The lyrics are so clever, and her weekly Friday routine is very similar to mine.” John Geeksterpants, a junior accounting major, is also an avid fan of Black’s music and the statement she has made on YouTube. “She seems to be a good role model for young girls just looking to have fun on Fridays and stand up in cars with friends even though the driver may not have a learner’s permit,” Geeksterpants said. “The lyrics are catchy and arguably very deep and I can’t wait to see them performed live,” he added. jesse.tabit@mail.wvu.edu

Justin Bieber to rekindle hip-hop’s N.W.A. by jake pans a&e writer

In this day and age, it isn’t considered uncommon for performing artists to venture into genres away from their own beaten path. Some hip-hop artists, such as Lil Wayne, try their hand in the rock ‘n’ roll scene, while country singers, such as Taylor Swift, venture into the world of pop, along with countless others. Recently, one of the most popular performers of the age, Justin Bieber, has decided to dive headfirst into the rap game the best way he knows how. Bieber has announced his intentions to revive one of the most notorious rap groups to ever be in the game. N.W.A. (N---z Wit Attitude.) Although the group fell apart during the early ‘90s, Bieber hopes to replace the only lost member of the group, Eric Lynn Wright (Eazy- E). The group began to divide after Jerry Heller took over managerial spot. Some members, particularly Dr. Dre, feared Heller was showing Eazy-E special treatment. The suspicions grew, and the stress on the group divided the members ending the epic run they had in the rap game. You may be asking yourself, “How can a seventeen-yearold kid revive such a major rap group when he himself has no experience in the rap game?” To rekindle the hip-hop group, the superstar will use his Bieber Fever in a whole new light. Sources claim Bieber has requested his mother’s consent for a new tattoo resembling that of Tupac Shakur’s “Thug Life”

adam dennis/The daily athenaeum

A local family takes advantage of the new Redbox rental system that has replaced The Warner Theatre.

Redbox to replace The Warner Theatre by rick shaw A&E editor

Months after its closure, Morgantown City Council has finally voted on the fate of The Warner Theatre: Replace it with a Redbox DVD kiosk. The plan, which has been under wraps since the theatre closed in October, will see the historic building torn down and replaced with a single kiosk. Morgantown mayor Bill Byrne said the plan will bring much-needed commercial activity to the site. “It’s a win-win,” Byrne said Thursday. “People have enjoyed going to the Warner for 79 years for movies. Now they can rent ‘Air Buddies’ for $1 a night.” The Warner closed in October after years of declines in

ticket sales. Property owners attributed competing major movie theaters and the rise of downloadable movies as a cause for the decline. The property will be completely demolished in the coming days and it is expected the kiosk will be installed shortly after. Like the Warner, which offered movies at cheaper prices but sometimes later than the major theater chains, Redbox DVD kiosks offer movies at prices lower than Blockbuster or Netflix. “At $1 a night, who wouldn’t want to sit through a ‘Twilight’ movie?” said Morgantown resident Geoff Coyle. “I’m Team Jacob, but for $1 a night, I could be a changed man.” In addition to new releases, Redbox also offers a back cat-

alogue of older titles. Despite Redbox’s features, some area residents say the Warner should not be torn down because of its historical significance. “I’m really upset, I loved that place,” said frequent Morgantown visitor Chris Slater. “I mean, I never went, but I was fond of it.” Residents opposed to the plan have a week to prepare their alternative ideas for the site. “I’d be fine with it if they just put the kiosk inside the building,” one area resident commented on the city website. Another suggested an entirely different plan for the site. “Why not a Blockbuster Express?” they wrote. daa&e@mail.wvu.edu

Yo Gabba Gabba cover band to play 123 by jenna talia A&E writer

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Justin Bieber gets intimate with a stuffed panda. Bieber will be the newest member of legendary hip-hop group N.W.A. emblem. While these changes may ruin his appearance as the lovable pop singer he’s come to be, sources say he believes the change will be for the better. The inspiration for this transition came during one of Bieber’s last performances on the west coast. His tour bus got lost and wound up making its way through Compton, Calif. a city in the Southern Los Angeles area, in which most of the members of N.W.A. were introduced to the rap game. One of the group’s most

popular songs, “Straight Outta Compton,” was written about the experiences they underwent in their youths and some of the hardships they overcame in that area. Although Bieber was raised in Canada, the attempts to relate to the song and group will still be made. Many of the music industry’s stars mix up their careers by dipping their toes into new genres, but is Bieber about to be in over his head? Only time can tell. jake.potts@mail.wvu.edu

There’s a new cover band in town, and this time the party’s not in your tummy. Yo Gabba Gameface is rocking the hills of Appalachia with their own distinctive covers of songs from the hit Nick Jr. show “Yo Gabba Gabba!” A mere three months in and Yo Gabba Gameface has already struck gold on YouTube with their rendition of “Party in My Tummy.” The three-piece band couldn’t resist the zany infectious music when they were deciding who to dedicate themselves to. “I mean, have you seen Yo Gabba Gabba?!” said Grant Shulman, lead vocal and keyboardist. “It’s just a crazy show, and a lot of the music is really good.” Apparently Shulman isn’t the only one who thinks so, as the children’s show has been nominated for two Daytime Emmy Awards, and was named one of Time magazine’s top

new TV series of 2007. The show also has an insane amount of popular guests and has had performances by Elijah Wood, Sean Kingston, The Roots and many more. “We wanted to be a cover band,” Shulman said. “But we couldn’t settle on any one artist. But with Yo Gabba Gabba! we can play songs sung by anyone from MGMT to Tony Hawk. It’s an incredible opportunity.” Yo Gabba Gameface’s current performance lineup consists of Chromeo’s “Nice ‘n’ Clean,” Jimmy Eat World’s “Beautiful Day,” Of Montreal’s “Bananas, Rice, Applesauce, Toast,” Weezer’s “All My Friends Are Insects” and the show’s original “Party in My Tummy.” In trying to put their own spin on the show’s songs, Yo Gabba Gameface plays with the original tunes by slowing down, adding reverb and sometimes exploding into double time. Constantly adding new songs to their repertoire, the band has turned to YouTube

to boost their popularity. “People love to watch us jump around as we play these silly tunes,” Shulman said. “I don’t care if they’re laughing out of spite or in entertainment; I’m having fun.” For three weeks running, Yo Gabba Gameface has been in the top 50 most viewed musicians of the week. Not shabby for a handful of Morgantown natives. Their next step is to kick it up with live performances. “We’re going to wear flamboyant costumes like the guests on the show and dance around like madmen,” Shulman said. “ I just hope everybody wants to dance around with us.” Because of their YouTube success they scored a spot at 123 Pleasant Street for their live debut. To join the party, look out for Yo Gabba Gameface on Friday April 15 at 10 p.m. or visit their YouTube page for weekly covers at youtube.com/ yogabbagameface. daa&e@mail.wvu.edu

A&E

APRIL FOOL’S day

‘Jersey Shore’ to film in Morgantown By Mike Rack A&E writer

The next season of “Jersey Shore” will be set in Morgantown, The Daily Athenaeum can reveal. The show, which is currently MTV’s biggest reality show with audiences of 8.5 million Thursday nights, is currently filming its fourth season in Italy. A return to Jersey was ruled out by producers hoping to refresh the show and “keep it on the road.” “Morgantown has a rich history of embracing the people of New Jersey,” an MTV spokesperson said. “We couldn’t think of anything better than bringing this show to the Mountain State.” The city also had familiar venues for the cast to relax. “Morgantown has everything for the show,” the spokes-

person said. “They even have a club called ‘Karma.’ It was pretty much written in the stars.” MTV met with Morgantown City Council leaders earlier this year to hash out the deal and discuss where the best place to put the “Jersey Shore” cast house. “We were told Sunnyside would be an appropriate place for the house, given its student population and controversy surrounding it,” the spokesperson said. The new house will be a threebedroom on Grant Avenue with close proximity to local nightlife. “The house couldn’t be too close to the clubs, because where would Ronnie and Sammi complain about each other on the way home?” the spokesperson said. Like in previous seasons in New Jersey and Florida, the cast will have to work to earn its keep.

Morgantown mayor Bill Byrne has granted MTV the use of the Morgantown Public Library for the show’s official workplace. “The cast has made T-shirts and sold ice cream,” Byrne said. “Now they might finally have a chance to read a book.” Morgantown resident Geoff Coyle was pleased with the announcement. “I’m a big fan of Snooki,” he said. “I went out and bought the ‘Free Snooki’ T-shirt. I wear it every Thursday when the show airs.” One area resident wrapped in a wolf blanket wasn’t impressed. “Why does MTV need to send the ‘Jersey Shore’ cast here? We’ve already got half the state’s population,” said freshman marketing major Tucker Max. daa&e@mail.wvu.edu

MTV

The ‘Jersey Shore’ cast relax in a hot tub in front of the PRT at West Virginia University.

West Virginia University hires rapper Wiz Khalifa for new botany class

Phil Mehard/THE DAILY ATHENAEUM

Protestors gather outside the Morgantown Tudor’s Biscuit World Thursday. The protest was interrupted by freak snowstorms.

Students protest Tudor’s sale of ‘Thundering Herd’ biscuit by EGGLAND’S BEST associate a&e editor

How could something so delicious hurt so many? A group of enraged West Virginia University students gathered outside Tudor’s Biscuit World Thursday to protest a menu item they feel is offensive to the campus community. A breakfast choice labeled “The Thundering Herd” is made up of sausage, egg, cheese and a hash brown on a made-from-scratch biscuit – but some are saying it may be a recipe for disaster. “We had no idea what we were getting ourselves into. It was all in good fun – we were trying to represent the state as a whole. We’ve underestimated the pride of Mountaineer fans. I should‘ve known

better than to bring a biscuit named…well, you-knowwhat, to Morgantown,” said Mary Bee, Tudor’s Biscuit World spokesperson. Chants of “Traitor, traitor, biscuit-maker” were heard outside the dining establishment Thursday morning as local residents came together to demand change. Senior nursing major Ashley Kincaid has circulated a petition demanding the biscuit to be renamed immediately. “Honestly, I’m a big fan of Tudor’s. I’ve never actually tasted ‘The Thundering Herd,’ but judging by the name, I assume it just sucks in general,” Kincaid said. “I don’t like knowing something named so lame could be sold as somewhere as wonderful as Tudor’s. It hurts. Its hurt us all.”

Bee said the changes will be taken into consideration by the West Virginia chapter of the American Biscuit Association Monday. The item will not be removed from the menu completely, but will instead be renamed to a more suitable and less derogatory title. According to Bee, possible names include “The Huggie,” “The Clemmy” and “The Couch Burner.” “Who would eat something called ‘The Thundering Herd?’” said angry sophomore multidisciplinary studies major Jack Flap. “Nobody in this town, that’s for sure. Whoever walks up to that counter and orders that disgrace of a biscuit has got a lot of guts. And I hope it’s out of here soon.” mackenzie.mays@mail.wvu.edu

Worship Directory THE MORGANTOWN CHURCH OF CHRIST meets at 361 Scott Avenue (near the Ramanda Inn). Sunday bible study is at 9:30. worship begins at 10:30. Sunday evening college church is at 6:00 p.m. at our christian Student Center (2923 University Avenue) next to the Evansdale Residential Complex. For further information call 599-6151, 296-3736 or 216-9100. or email info@morgantowncoc.org

St John’s University Parish The Catholic Parish for WVU 1481 University Ave. (One block south of the Lair) 304-296-8231 MASSES - Saturday 5:00 PM Sunday 8:30 AM, 10:00 AM, 6:30 PM and *8:30 PM * When WVU is in session. Daily Mass, Monday - Friday 4:30 PM Reconciliation, Monday-Friday 4:00 - 4:20 PM Saturday 4:00 - 4:45 PM

Advertise your Worship Service In The Daily Ahenaeum Call 304-293-4141 Today

UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST FELLOWSHIP SERVICES every Sunday morning at 10:45am, located in the A-frame building at 429 Warrick Street at University Avenue, opposite Grand Central Station. The mission of the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship is to create an open, compassionate, religious community that supports intellectual, ethical and spiritual growth and encourages social consciousness, respect for diversity and thoughtful involvement in the larger community. We are a “welcoming congregation”. Contact Rev. Michael O’Kelly at 599-8040. For more information: Beth Houseknecht (292-1604) &: http://www.uufmwv.org

COLLEGE MINISTRY@ SUNCREST UMC acrosss from alumni center

Fellowship & Bible Study, College House-Wed. 7:30 PM College Lunch, Sunday - Noon

Worship 11:00AM Worship 8:30 8:30 && 11:00 AM 304-599-6306 www.suncrestumc.org www.suncrestumc.org

First Baptist Church of Morgantown 432 High Street 292-3323 Pastor Al Cooper BCM Leader Tim Gray Sunday School (all ages) 9:45 am Worship Service 11:00 am Fellowship 10:30 am and after Worship Service FBC1@comcast.net FBCmorgantown.com

Chelsi Baker/THE DAILY ATHENAEUM

New WVU botany professor Wiz Khalifa speaks about his qualifications and goals during a press conference at Milan Puskar Stadium Monday afternoon.

by Pepe Roni A&E WRITER

After finally reaching majorlabel success, Pittsburgh-based rapper Wiz Khalifa is looking to take his talents elsewhere – as a visiting professor at West Virginia University. “Black and Yellow put me on the map outside of Pittsburgh, but I’m just taking off. It’s a long flight ahead, and I’m looking forward to it,” Khalifa said. Khalifa is best known for his lyrical dedication to females and “special herbs.” “The whole world knows I like to smoke. How do you think I met Snoop Dogg? What they don’t know, however, is that I am a botanist first and a rapper second,” Professor Khalifa said. The young rapper will be joining the WVU staff as a visiting professor in the fall. WVU’s Davis College of Agriculture, Natural Resources and

Design recently received a government grant to start a special interest horticulture program. The program is designed to help develop a species of marijuana that will be used medicinally in the states in which it is a prescribed form of treatment. “We are excited about the opportunity to work with the government to help develop the future of medical marijuana,” said WVU president James P. Clements. “The future of this type of medicine is a prosperous one at this stage, and having a face like Wiz Khalifa to attach to the program will help put WVU at the forefront of the field.” Khalifa will be forming research groups with professors and students, training them to cultivate marijuana with high levels of tetrahydrocannabinol (THC). The groups will then become engineers, but not the PRTbuilding variety WVU is most

commonly associated with. These engineers will be designing a new grade of marijuana to treat a wider range of ailments than back aches and cancer relief therapy. “My new CD ‘Rolling Papers’ just hit the market, and after the summer it will be time to put all of my marijuana-charged verbal metaphors to work. I can be a rapper and smoke, but I would rather be a smoker that gets paid to smoke and develop new weed,” Khalifa said. “I guess you could say that I’m taking my weed smoking talents to Morgantown. Sorry LeBron!” Students are about to begin registering for classes, but special permission is required to get into Khalifa’s 400-level courses. Anyone who meets the prerequisite of 16 combined chemistry and biology credits will be eligible to take the classes.

OMG LOOK AT THE SIZE OF IT. Dirty Girl has appeared in four April Fool’s Day Editions of The Daily Athenaeum. “Hey y’allllllll. Here I am again!!”

matt.sunday@mail.wvu.edu

THE DAILY ATHENAEUM

“Little good is accomplished without controversy, and no civic evil is ever defeated without publicity.”

Friday April 1, 2011

www.THEDAONLINE.com

VOLUME 124, ISSUE 127

One independent runs for SGA board Wants to make physical activity classes required BY CHARLES YOUNG STAFF WRITER

Mohamed Ali, a sophomore human nutrition and foods major from Manassas, Va., is the lone independent candidate running for Board of Governors in the Student Government Association election at

West Virginia University. Ali, whose platform is health and wellness, said he wants to work with University administrators to implement an antiobesity program he developed in high school. “Right now we’re trying to finish getting a department to endorse the program within itself,” he said. Ali said he has met and discussed his program with President James P. Clements, Vice President of Student Affairs Ken Grey and Dana Brooks, dean of the College of Physical Activity & Sport Sciences. Ali

said they all gave their support for his ideas. “The Board of Governors gives me a chance to expand my philosophies to a college level and implement policies that would ensure all students are engaged in physical activities on a daily basis,” he said. Part of his platform would include lobbying administrators to make physical education classes apart of every WVU student’s required courses. “I don’t think there are too many universities today that have requirements for students to be physically active,” he said.

Ali said he has begun the process of campaigning by hanging posters and fliers around campus. Ali also said he was working on his banner which was hung in the Mountainlair food court alongside the banners of the Fusion and Pirate parties. “This (the Board of Governors) is something I’m far beyond all ready. If I’m in or I’m out of it, I’ve already moved past it. Just being apart of it would allow me to enter that college network and engage ... (closer) to Morgantown,” he said.

DAY IN COURT

Gov. Omar Wazir, who serves on the current BOG, was the only independent to run in last year’s election cycle. Although he did not win a seat during his election, Wazir was eventually given a seat after a governor resigned in November 2010. “Running as an independent definitely has its ups and downs,” Wazir said. “It’s a lot more difficult because you have to work a lot harder, you’re basically outmanned. But you’re campaigning for yourself, and you don’t have to check with anybody about anything.” Wazir said although he

correspondent

Brooke Cassidy/THE DAILY ATHENAEUM

College of Law hosts annual mock trial competition by emily spickler staff writer

West Virginia University students held mock trials Wednesday, Thursday and Friday during a competition to see who was the best litigator. WVU’s College of Law held its annual Lugar Cup Thursday in the Marilyn E. Lugar Courtroom. Brian Caudill, director of communications for the College of Law, said the Lugar Cup is a mock trial competition and a longtime tradition for the college. Two finalist teams of law students competed in the championship round Thursday, he said. The winning team will be announced today Brooke Cassidy/THE DAILY ATHENAEUM at 12 p.m. at the law school. The plaintiff is questioned during a mock trial Wednesday afternoon at the College of Law. Jared Moore and Dan Le-

Masters, second year law students, competed against Adam Taylor and Kate Charonko, third year students, Caudill said. Caudill said Moore and LeMasters represented the state of West Virginia. They competed against Charonko and Taylor, who represented the Defendant, Jaimie Bianco. The trial was argued before Alan D. Moats, a West Virginia judge for the 19th Judicial Circuit for Barbour and Taylor counties. Travis Prince, president of the Marilyn E. Lugar Trial Association, said the trial was about an alleged illegal drug operation run by Bianco, in which they allegedly sold and delivered marijuana and cocaine to and from their

see trial on PAGE 2

WVU to host symposium on science, technology by lydia nuzum staff writer

Professors and staff at West Virginia University will host a symposium, “Science and Technology in Society: Effective Communication Strategies” in an effort to draw greater interest in the mathematics and sciences. The symposium is April 5 in the Mountainlair and will include several workshops and an optional lunch. The event registration deadline is April 1. “The element I hope to bring

to this event is how to bring scientific engagement to the classroom,” said Michelle Withers, assistant professor of biology at WVU. Withers will help conduct several of the workshops sponsored through the day’s events, including a discussion of the best practices of science education for teachers. Withers said she wants teachers to move away from traditional lecture style methods of teaching in favor of a more engaging approach. When it comes to teach-

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Benefit concert proceeds donated to Japan Relief effort. A&E PAGE 8

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News: 1, 2 Opinion: 4 Sports: 3, 6 A&E: 8 Campus Calendar: 3 Puzzles: 3 Classifieds: 14, 15

ing, Withers said she employs a “backward design,” considering what she wants students to be able to accomplish once they leave the classroom. Withers teaches several biology courses, including the introductory course Biology 115. She said she uses icebreakers and other tools to work against the flow of traditional lecturing and help students succeed. Molly Simis, project coordinator for science and technology in society at WVU, said the symposium was designed to foster discussions on how cit-

izens can be directly involved in science and technology policy making. “One of the biggest takeaways for both majors and non-majors is understanding the role that we as individuals play in scientific policy making,” she said. The day would also include a live webcast streamed to 29 different public schools in the state, focusing on an introduction to science and critical thinking, Simis said.

see symposium on PAGE 2

THE DA IS HIRING EDITORS Inquire about paid positions at The Daily Athenaeum at DA-editor@mail.wvu.edu or pick up an application at our office at 284 Prospect St.

CONTACT US Newsroom 304-293-5092 or DAnewsroom@mail.wvu.edu Advertising 304-293-4141 or DA-Ads@mail.wvu.edu Fax 304-293-6857

INSIDE THIS EDITION The West Virginia gymnastics team heads to NCAA Regional this weekend after a nearly two-week break. SPORTS PAGE 11

charles.young@mail.wvu.edu

Parts of Univ. to host fundraiser for Ryan Diviney by alex dufour

A mock trial of the Dixon vs. Providential Life Insurance Case is held at the College of Law Wednesday.

has not met Ali yet, he was planning on contacting him through Facebook to offer help and advice. “I was in his shoes last year. I know what he’s going though,” Wazir said. Wazir said he would have to talk to Ali about his policies before he could make an endorsement. Wazir also ran on a platform of health and wellness. “If what he’s talking about is reasonable and feasible, then an endorsement is something I would consider,” he said.

A fundraiser will be held Saturday to help the family of a West Virginia University student who was put into a minimally conscious state after being attacked on campus in 2009. Ryan Diviney, a former sophomore political science major, was attacked outside the Willey Street Dairy Mart on Nov. 7, 2009. The fundraiser is Saturday at Dragonfly Restaurant from 5 p.m. to 11 p.m. and will be hosted by the Student Government Association, Sigma Alpha Mu-Epsilon Theta and The Rubber U. All proceeds will go directly to Ryan’s care. “I have personally made it my mission to bring about light to Ryan’s beating, hospitalization and recovery,” said Daniel Brewster, a sociology professor and the Diviney’s family friend. “I think that students need to be aware of the potential for violence.” During the event there will be a silent auction and raffles for prizes such as golf packages, Kenny Chesney concert tickets and gift cards from local businesses. Last April, two of Ryan’s friends along with Brewster raised more than $8,000 to

aid Ryan’s family and his recovery. Since leaving the care of the hospital in April 2010, the Diviney family has been taking care of Ryan from their house, resulting in high medical bills. Brewster said he is hoping to beat last year’s turnout of more than 700 people who came out to support the family. “Ryan’s sister is a current student at WVU and chose to come here even in the wake of this horrific crime, and I want her to personally know that the WVU community is supportive of Ryan and her entire family,” he said. Kari Diviney, a freshman general studies major and Ryan’s sister, said she is pleased with the support she and her family have received from WVU and the Morgantown community. Ryan and Kari’s father, Ken, will also be attending the event. “We rely on communities to help us with his care because we just can’t do it on our own,” Ken said. “Morgantown has really stepped up and done a great job with helping us out, and we really appreciate that.” Brewster said he hopes the

see event on PAGE 2

WELLWVU warns of use of synthetic drugs by lydia nuzum staff writer

A recent ban on the sale and distribution of synthetic marijuana and cocaine has been instituted by the United States Drug Enforcement Administration and the West Virginia state legislature. The synthetic marijuana, sold under names such as K2 and Spice, is a synthetic drug marketed as potpourri. It is marked with warning labels that read “not for human consumption” and was previously sold online, in head shops and in certain convenience stores. “It can cause users to have slight tremors,” said Melissa Pforr, WELLWVU Coordinator of Alcohol Education. “They can even experience seizures from it.” Pforr said other common side effects include agitation and elevated heart rate. The product is usually created by spraying unknown and untested substances on the herbs used in the potpourri blend, she said.

WEB

Drugs sold as bath salts have been banned in West Virginia. Caitlin O’Dea, an intern at WELLWVU and graduate social work major, said the ban may not cover replacements for K2 and Spice, making new versions of the drug a possibility. “It’s a chemical that’s relatively new, so there are various unknown long-term effects from it,” O’Dea said. The drugs marketed as

see warning on PAGE 2

WVU IS LOUISVILLE BOUND The West Virginia baseball team heads to Louisville this weekend for a threegame Big East Conference series at Bainton Field. SPORTS PAGE 11

THE DAILY ATHENAEUM

2 | NEWS

College of Creative Arts selects new dean Paul K. Kreider, currently the dean of the College of Fine Arts and Communication at Western Illinois University, has been named dean of the College of Creative Arts at West Virginia University. He was selected from three

warning

Continued from page 1 synthetic cocaine, disguised as bath salts, are extremely unpredictable when consumed, she said. “It has affected people so greatly mentally that they actually harm themselves,” O’Dea said. Both synthetic cocaine and synthetic cannabis can be smoked, snorted or consumed, Pforr said. Users who have experimented with bath salts have experienced side effects similar to those of cocaine, in-

symposium Continued from page 1

Other events scheduled for the symposium include a presentation by Brian Dunning, host of the popular science webcast “Skeptoid: Critical Analysis of Pop Phenomena,” a presentation on carbon management and alternative

EVENT

Continued from page 1 event will make students think before they act to avoid violent situations. “I don’t think that Morgantown and the WVU campus are dissimilar to anywhere else in the country,” he said.

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Continued from page 1 restaurant. Throughout the three rounds of competition, the judges give points to the teams based on their opening statements, direct and cross examinations, and closing statements, Prince said.

finalists who visited campus in February and March to speak to students, faculty and staff of the college. Kreider is expected to start as dean on June 30. He earned his Bachelor of Arts in Music from the University of Nevada, Las Vegas

and received his master’s degree in music and Doctor of Musical Arts degree from the University of Arizona. He also studied music and theater at Minnesota State University, Mankato. — eaf

cluding hunger, inhibition, euphoria and anxiety. Synthetic cocaine is a volatile drug, Pforr said, and those who abuse it often suffer from adverse side effects. “Some users have experienced rapid heartbeat, cardiac arrest or even psychosis,” Pforr said. “I definitely think they’re extremely dangerous.” Synthetic marijuana is the result of a mixture of several synthetically developed cannabinoids, which have recently been outlawed in an emergency decision by the U.S. DEA. The synthetic cocaine, a drug known as mephedrone, is not controlled

by the same emergency law and is still subject to state regulation. “It was just so easily accessible before,” O’Dea said. “Even for underage kids.” Synthetic forms of cannabis such as K2 were first introduced in the early 2000’s, while synthetic cocaine, often packaged as bath salts or plant fertilizer, became prevalent on the Internet in 2007. Both drugs are considered designer drugs meant to circumvent laws prohibiting the sale and distribution of marijuana and cocaine.

energy designs. Also, a workshop at the event will be “A Citizen Science Plenary,” which is designed to inform government and members of society on the social implications of scientific and technological innovation. Withers said she compares her method of teaching to teaching someone to ride a bicycle. She said, as a teacher,

the first start might be showing students a bike and demonstrating how to ride one, but students learn more when they are encouraged to take initiative. “You wouldn’t stop there. You need to get them on the bike so they can start riding themselves,” Withers said.

“We are a nation that has become so desensitized to violence that we ignore the realities and ramifications of the actions.” Ken said it was WVU’s reputation to be a safe campus and students should keep each other safe. “It is a matter of school reputation that they need to

be conscientious of student safety and take the steps necessary to ensure that students around campus are safe,” Diviney said. For more information on Ryan and his family or to make a donation visit http://rallyforryan.wordpress.com.

Prince said about 30 law schools students participated in the competition, and it was open to any law school students. “The Lugar Cup provides a platform for students to hone in on advocacy skills prior to graduation,” he said. “Every law student tries a full case, whether it’s civil or criminal, before they graduate.”

The winners be receiving a cash prize and will also have their names engraved upon the coveted Lugar Cup, which is displayed in the main office of the College of Law, Caudill said.

lydia.nuzum@mail.wvu.edu

danewsroom@mail.wvu.edu

emily.spickler@mail.wvu.edu

Erin Fitzwilliams contributed to this report.

Friday April 1, 2011

now hiring City Editor, Associate City Editor, Opinion Editor, Sports Editor, Associate Sports Editor, Arts & Entertainment Editor, Associate A&E Editor, Art Director, Multimedia Editor, Copy Desk Chief, Campus Calendar Editor and Web Editor. Writers for all sections will also be accepted. All inquiries can be forwarded to DA-editor@mail.wvu. edu. Applications can be picked up at 284 Prospect St. Applications, resumes and writing samples are due April 6 by noon. local

Feds: tougher laws needed to improve mine safety WASHINGTON (AP) — The head of the Mine Safety and Health Administration on Thursday renewed his call for tougher legislation to protect miners, nearly a year after an explosion killed 29 men at a West Virginia coal mine. MSHA Director Joe Main told a Senate panel that his agency has made progress in fixing flaws in the enforcement system that came to light after the disaster. But he said new legislation would make it easier for the government to shut down problem mines, impose tougher criminal penalties and protect whistleblowers. “This committee has a long history of standing up for our nation’s miners,” Main told the Senate Health, Education, Labor and Pensions Committee. “I hope you do so again and pass new mine safety legislation and quickly.” The panel is considering what Congress can do to help prevent a similar accident from happening in the future. Efforts to pass sweeping mine safety legislation failed in the House

last year. Committee chairman Sen. Tom Harkin, D-Iowa, said the Senate is ready to focus on a mine safety bill. “We now have sufficient information to make intelligent reforms to our mine safety laws and we shouldn’t waste any time in doing so,” Harkin said. Massey Energy’s Upper Big Branch mine exploded on April 5, 2010, and the company remains the target of civil and criminal investigations. Federal investigators believe the blast was caused by a preventable buildup of methane gas mixing with coal dust, although Richmond-based Massey has disputed those findings. Main said a full report on the investigation is “several months” away, but MSHA plans to hold a briefing on June 29 in Beckley, W.Va., to share progress on the probe with the public. Since the April 2010 explosion, the safety agency has ramped up enforcement, created new mine safety screening procedures and conducting 228 “impact” inspections

at mines with poor safety records or other warning signs of problems. The agency’s new screening procedures were put in place after officials discovered that a computer error had allowed Upper Big Branch to evade heightened scrutiny. The agency has also proposed new safety rules that would result in speedier enforcement for mines that have shown a pattern of serious violations. Wyoming Sen. Mike Enzi, the committee’s ranking Republican, argued that MSHA already has the tools available to improve enforcement and should use them more effectively instead of calling for new legislation. He cited an MSHA Office of Accountability report issued to the Senate Appropriations Committee just two weeks before the Upper Big Branch explosion that warned lawmakers about serious enforcement lapses at the agency. Enzi suggested fixing the existing problems at the agency instead of “holding out for political victories that will be difficult to achieve.”

Culture Center celebrates Fiesta’s 75th

Brooke Cassidy/THE DAILY ATHENAEUM

A student jury participates in a mock trial of the Dixon vs. Providential Life Insurance Case at the College of Law Tuesday.

CHARLESTON, W.Va. (AP) — To celebrate the 75th anniversary of Fiestaware, the colorful china line made by West Virginia’s own Homer Laughlin China Co., state officials turned first to the storage areas of the state Division of Culture and History. “We have a tremendous collection,” said Charles Morris, the director of collections and exhibits for Culture and History. “There is not a better company to work with – they actually donated to us pieces from their vault. And we have a few pieces donated by people who collect Fiestaware.” The state’s collection includes all of the Fiestaware colors produced over the years – more than 40 and counting – along with its current 15 colors. Fiestaware first was produced in red, ivory, cobalt blue, yellow and green. “We have hundreds of pieces,” Morris said. For the exhibit at the state Culture Center that officially opens Thursday with a reception, Morris and his team also toted out numerous bone china patterns the company has produced over the years, many of which made their way to fine hotels across the country.

In this March 29 photo, Fiestaware is on shown on display in gift shop of the state Culture Center in Charleston, W. Va. An exhibit celebrating the 75th anniversary of the Homer Laughlin China Company’s colorful Fiestaware line opened to the public on Thursday. Frederick Hurten Rhead designed the art deco style china in 1936. It was discontinued in 1973, but reintroduced in 1986 to mark the Hancock County company’s 50th anniversary. A special area is dedicated to a line designed with the help of former first lady Gayle Manchin that illustrates the four seasons. The china is used in the Governor’s Mansion and also is available for sale by the company.

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“This was a gift from the first lady and Gov. Manchin,” Reid-Smith explained of the design process. “She was involved in all of the design process.” The exhibit includes examples of the wide range of pieces Homer Laughlin produces, from dinner and salad plates to mugs, cups and saucers and accessory pieces such as salt and pepper shakers, butter dishes and serving bowls.

CORRECTION Due to a reporting error in Wednesday’s edition of The Daily Athenaeum, Jason Parsons was reported as a West Virginia University alumnus, but he is still enrolled as a student at the University. We apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused.

A&E SPORTS

11 3

Friday April 1, 2011

BRIAN KUPPELWEISER SPORTS WRITER

Transition to Holgorsenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s offense wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t take long When West Virginia University Athletic Director Oliver Luck performed a overhaul of the West Virginia football program, I was a bit leery. It was not that I didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t like the changes he made to the coaching staff, such as bringing in new offensive coordinator Dana Holgorsen and his staff, but I feared how the situation was going to play out. The much-publicized and much-written about transition year before Holgorsen takes over as the head coach was something that made me squirm a bit. How would current head coach Bill Stewart, who is a man of great pride, handle the situation? The situation became even weirder for Stewart, as Holgorsen and his staff were given full autonomy of the offense, and defensive coordinator Jeff Casteel was given total control of the defense. Those decisions left Stewart with the sole responsibility of managing special teams, which is something he had excelled at in the past. On Monday, however, even those duties were stripped from Stewart when former Detroit Lions assistant secondary coach Daron Roberts was brought in to replace former wide receivers coach Lonnie Galloway. Roberts would be working with the receivers, but in addition, he would be handling the kick and punt return units. In my eyes, this left Stewart in an even lamer duck position than he was in just a few short weeks ago. But, my opinion changed somewhat on Wednesday morning as I took in the Mountaineersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; first spring practice. From what I saw Wednesday, all parties involved in the coaching transition are handling the situation better than even Luck could have hoped. Holgorsen, along with his impressive staff, were in total control of his side of the ball, while Casteelâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s group looked to be making its first strides to rebuild from last seasonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s losses. All the while, Stewart stood behind the action, took in the plays and threw out a few words of encouragement to players. After practice, when Stewart met with the media, he brought out his trademark smile and wink for the first time in a long time. Furthermore, he spoke enthusiastically about getting back onto the field after what was assuredly a tough winter for him and his family. After taking it all in, it dawned on me. Stewartâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s behavior made me realize if there were any coach in the country who could handle this type of awkward situation, it would be him.

see kuppelweiser on PAGE 6

304-293-5092 304-293-5092 ext. ext. 23 |3DAsports@mail.wvu.edu | DAA&E@mail.wvu.edu CONTACT CONTACT USUS

WVU faces tall task vs. Cards By Derek Denneny Sports Writer

matt sunday/the daily athenaeum

West Virginia pitcher Corey Walter delivers a pitch in the Mountaineersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; game against Bryant on March 8.

Sports Writer

The West Virginia tennis team will look to pick up another Big East Conference victory this weekend, as the Mountaineers host Rutgers on Sunday at 10 a.m. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve looked solid in our wins but looked bad in our losses lately,â&#x20AC;? said head coach Tina Samara. â&#x20AC;&#x153;We have to show up with our best game every time we take the court.â&#x20AC;? The Mountaineers (7-10) have won four of their last six games but have dropped two of their last three, both coming by way of a shutout. â&#x20AC;&#x153;We have too many opportunities to pick up points,â&#x20AC;? Samara said. â&#x20AC;&#x153;There is no reason we should get shut out. Every team is going to make mistakes; we have to be there to capitalize on (other teamsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;

derek.denneny@mail.wvu.edu

SPRING SOCCER

Izzo-Brown using spring to develop teamâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s youth by sebouh majarian sports writer

The West Virginia womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s soccer team won its first Big East Conference Championship last season. Preparation for a repeat title is already underway. The team started its spring camp two weeks ago at the Jefferson Cup posting a 1-0-1 record. The Mountaineers beat Virginia 1-0 and tied Virginia Tech 3-3. WVU head coach Nikki IzzoBrown said spring camp is an ideal time to work on the aspects that prevented the team from advancing further in the NCAA Tournament a season ago. The team lost 4-0 to Boston College in the Sweet 16 to finish with an 18-5-1 record.

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Any time you lose, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s tough,â&#x20AC;? Izzo-Brown said. â&#x20AC;&#x153;But you want to reflect on the positives and also know thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s areas we need to be better at, which is why we didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t advance to the Elite Eight.â&#x20AC;? The Mountaineers, who finished 12th in the last RPI poll, host Virginia Tech Saturday at Dick Dlesk Soccer Stadium. The Hokies finished 10-10-1 last season. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s going to be a good game. Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re always looking forward to playing against the powerhouse of the ACC,â&#x20AC;? Izzo-Brown said. Junior Chelsey Corroto headed in the game-winner against the Cavaliers off an assist from freshman Emily Dillon in the teamâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s first spring matchup. WVU had a trio of freshman score in the draw against the Hokies as Dillon

Samara, West Virginia tennis want to finish home season strong vs. Rutgers By Derek Denneny

The West Virginia baseball team travels to No. 23 Louisville for a three-game series starting today. Mountaineer head coach Greg Van Zant knows his team will have its hands full. The first pitch of the series is set for 6 p.m. today. Saturday and Sundayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s games will be played at 1 p.m. â&#x20AC;&#x153;They are a very good team, one of the best in the nation,â&#x20AC;? Van Zant said. â&#x20AC;&#x153;But weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve faced good teams, and I think we are a good team. We just have to come out ready to go.â&#x20AC;? The Cardinals enter the series ranked 23rd in the nation and are second in the Big East Conference with a 16-8 record and a 2-1 league mark after taking 2-of-3 from Rutgers last week. The Mountaineers (16-11) lost all four games to the reigning Big East Champions last season, being outscored 41-15. One key to a successful weekend for WVU will be keeping Louisvilleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s slugger Stewart Ijames off balance at the plate. Ijames either leads or is second on the team in runs, hits, doubles, triples, home runs and RBI. The right fielder also leads the Big East in homers and is fourth in the conference in RBI. No member of the Mountaineersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; pitching staff, however, has an ERA of under 4.00. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Baseball is really about preparation,â&#x20AC;? Van Zant said. â&#x20AC;&#x153;We will be prepared for a very good Louisville team. Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve had a few days to really focus on them and get ready to battle. It all starts with a solid practice.â&#x20AC;? Getting early leads in the series will be key for the Mountaineers, according to the veteran head coach. The Cardinals have a team ERA of 2.09, while 11 pitchers have an ERA under 3.00. Justin Amlung has been ULâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s standout thus far this season. The sophomore boasts a 0.65 ERA and is 5-0 this season with three shutouts. Fellow righthander Derek Self is 2-0 with an ERA of 0.75 â&#x20AC;&#x153;Offense will be key this weekend,â&#x20AC;? Van Zant said. â&#x20AC;&#x153;We have to get at them early. Getting an early lead does wonders for a pitcherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s confidence.â&#x20AC;? The Mountaineers have three of the Big Eastâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s top-10 performers in batting average with Jeremy Gum (.378), Brady Wilson (.376) and Dan DiBartolomeo (.348). Wilson also leads the conference in hits with 41, and DiBartolomeo is the conference leader in runs scored, crossing the plate 32 times so far in 2011. The Mountaineer lineup also boasts four of the conferenceâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s top-11 run producers. Justin McDavid is second in the Big East with 26 RBI followed by Grant Buckner, who ranks eighth with 21. DiBartolomeo and Gum trail in 11th with 20 RBI each.

confidence boost for the mistakes). â&#x20AC;&#x153;That is what separates postseason.â&#x20AC;? good teams from bad teams.â&#x20AC;? The Scarlet Knights (10derek.denneny@mail.wvu.edu 4) have won their last five matches, three of which were shutouts. â&#x20AC;&#x153;They are a good team that knows how to win,â&#x20AC;? Samara Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t just go to the movies, GO HOLLYWOOD! said. â&#x20AC;&#x153;We canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t back down STADIUM 12 or get discouraged. We have University Town Centre (Behind Target) to keep at it and focus on the Morgantown â&#x20AC;˘ (304) 598-FILM things we have worked on in $6.00 $5.75 Bargain Matinees - All Shows Before 6PM $6.50 Student Admission with Valid I.D. practice.â&#x20AC;? $6.25 ALL STADIUM SEATING - ALL DIGITAL SOUND Sundayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s match will be FOR Shows Starting Friday ( ) PLAYS FRI. & SAT. ONLY WVUâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s final home match of Diary of a Whimpy Kid: Red Riding Hood [PG-13] Roderick Rules [PG] 4:25-9:35 the season and will be a good 1:10-4:10-6:50:9:15 The Adjustment Bureau [PG-13] test to prepare for the confer- Sucker Punch [PG-13] 1:00-4:00-6:40-9:20 1:20-4:20-7:50-9:50 Rango [PG] ence tournament, according Limitless [PG-13] 1:05-4:05-6:45-9:25 1:40-4:40-7:10-9:40 to Samara. Hop [PG] 1:15-4:15-7:00-9:30 Lincoln Lawyer [R] â&#x20AC;&#x153;Our last three matches The 1:35-4:35-7:20-10:05 Hall Pass [PG-13] 1:55-4:55-7:35-10:05 are against conference op- Paul [R] Insidious [PG-13] 1:50-4:50-7:25-9:55 ponents,â&#x20AC;? the first-year head 1:45-4:45-7:30-10:00 Los Angeles [PG-13] Source Code [PG-13] coach said. â&#x20AC;&#x153;We have to win Battle: 1:25-6:55 1:30-4:30-7:15-9:45 these to prove we can hang NO PASSES NO PASSES OR SUPERSAVERS with our conference oppowww.gohollywood.com nents and to give us a nice

scored along with Casey Vornadore and Katie Lenz. The spring season is even more important for the Mountaineers after losing six seniors from last yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s team including Kerri Butler, Ashtin Larkin, Cassandra Deitrick, Kristen Felice, Sydney Metheny and Megan Mischler. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s never easy to replace seniors, especially seniors that have won two Big East Championships, an Elite Eight and a Sweet 16,â&#x20AC;? Izzo-Brown said. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve also contributed a lot to the underclassmen.â&#x20AC;? The returning group is led by junior Blake Miller who led the team in goals (10) and assists (9). â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s nice that we have a foundation to build upon,â&#x20AC;? Izzo-

see SOCCER on PAGE 6

West Virginia head womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s soccer coach Nikki Izzo-Brown.

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OPINION

Friday April 1, 2011

Keep the issues in mind during SGA elections It can be very difficult for students to stay focused on the issues during the yearly Student Government Association election process. The Fusion and Pirate parties are both actively campaigning and using many different tricks to garner support. Giving away free candy, coupons, food, energy drinks and T-shirts are great ways to get the attention of students; however, they are also great distractions. Students must be

conscious of the issues and the platforms each party supports. The first of three debates was held Tuesday evening. Candidates from both parties had the opportunity to answer numerous questions regarding the state of the University and how they intend to improve current problems facing students, such as the rising costs of tuition and books. Though debates are a good way to question SGA candidates, they are not the only

venue. Instead of waiting for the candidates to appear in a debate setting, approach them when they are handing out all the free stuff and ask questions. That will not only show them you truly care about the issues affecting all of us as students and the University as a whole, but it will put them in a position where they have to answer honestly. Seeing how the members of the Fusion and Pirate parties

handle tough questions on the spot without the aid of notes or pre-written speeches will attest to their level of seriousness and capability. By taking a free sample of candy (or whatever they are offering) and hearing a candidate only say “vote for me” doesn’t explain any reason why. As in any election, relevant information is needed before casting a vote. Don’t allow candidates to ignore the campus issues fac-

ing the student body. But at the same time, don’t be swayed by platforms that are way out of reach. Keep it reasonable. Take the candidates seriously along with the actions they propose. Remember, SGA is supposed to work for the students. And the only way to be sure that will happen is by electing those who are informed and realistic about issues.

@dailyathenaeum

daperspectives@mail.wvu.edu

Republicans must appeal to a broader range of voters Zach Viglianco columnist

As the Republican Party’s search for a viable 2012 challenger to President Obama drags listlessly onward, at least one thing is clear, the eventual selection will almost certainly be an older white male. On the plus side this inevitability eliminates the disastrous prospect of a potential Sarah Palin administration, but the fact I can so confidently make that statement may be a sign of trouble for the GOP in election cycles to come. Last week the US Census Bureau announced that America’s Hispanic population grew by a remarkable 43 percent over the last ten years, and that nearly 1 in 6 Americans are now Hispanic or Latino. The 2010 Census count contained 50 million people claiming that label (compared to about 38 million AfricanAmericans and 14 million Asians) solidifying them as the largest minority group in the country. Yes, Caucasian whites still dominate the nation’s racial landscape, comprising slightly fewer than 200 million of the US total population of nearly 309 million. However, if current trends continue, up to a third of the US population in 2050 may be Hispanic. As the relative proportion of non-white Americans grow, the problem for Republicans is quite obvious, they don’t do very well with those groups. Barack Obama won almost 70 percent of the Hispanic vote in the 2008 presidential elections. Democratic candidates at all levels regularly receive 80 to 90 percent of the African American vote. Asians

(whose growth rate was nearly as large as Hispanics) have increasingly skewed left, with majorities supporting the Democratic candidate for President in 2000, 2004 and 2008. Other minority groups, such as Jews, Native Americans and Arab-Americans are either strongly Democratic or trending that way. If demographics are destiny, it seems the future for Republicans is rather bleak. It doesn’t have to be that way. There is no immutable law saying minority groups must support Democratic candidates, nor are minorities fundamentally different from Republicans’ core constituency. There is nothing racially specific about conservatism its powerful intellectual appeal is universal. The Republican message fails with certain groups because it is often tainted by the traditional American streak of paranoia and fear of outsiders. This is not a new phenomenon: every wave of people having come to this country in large groups has experienced it. As the group assimilates, such fears fall away, but their residual effects can remain. Urban Irish Catholics remain staunch Democrats due to the treatment they received from native groups in the late 19th century and early 20th century. Republicans risk alienating Hispanics and other groups in the same way, but with a few small steps they could minimize or reverse the damage. For a start, Republicans could stop brazenly demonizing and antagonizing these “out-groups” to score political points. The recently held congressional hearings about the extent of radicalization of the American Muslim community and the incendiary comments in response to the proposed “9-11 site mosque” are perfect examples of political stunts that play well with

a certain element of the Republican base while simultaneously alienating an entire community. As recently as 2000, Muslim and Arab-Americans were leaning Republican (the majority of them voted for George W. Bush), while today they favor Democrats by a 2 to 1 margin. Both groups are logical members of Republican coalition, socially conservative, religious, supporters of entrepreneurship and the business community, and yet they have been driven away by the paranoid, suspicious and generally hostile attitude conveyed by Republicans toward their communities. In other areas, Republicans could tweak their proposed policies (or at least their presentation) somewhat to attract more minority support. Republicans could propose immigration reform which made legal immigration easier and accessible to more people as part of a package that beefed up border security and cracked down on illegal immigrants. Emphasizing support for legal immigration could help reduce the widespread sentiment that Republicans are anti-immigrant in general, which has been a major factor in driving Hispanics into the Democratic camp. Additional measures, such as preferences for those who already speak English or offering English classes to every new immigrant, could be a symbolic olive branch to the community, while simultaneously aiding in the assimilation process that is important to many conservatives. Other Republican positions, such as support for religious institutions, opposition to abortion and support for the military could be emphasized when trying to attract various elements of the Hispanic and African American communities that tend to be more socially conservative than mainstream Democrats. Alternatively, those groups

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A sign encouraging the participation of Hispanic voters. could be targeted with a focus on the poverty alleviating effects of education reform that holds teachers accountable and increases access to charter and parochial schools. Only two short years ago political pundits were writing the obituary of the Republican Party. The sudden rever-

sal of fortune during the 2010 midterms is only a short-term phenomenon. If current demographic trends are ignored, the GOP faces long-term electoral irrelevance. That fate can be avoided if the party chooses to embrace the teeming multitude of di-

versity that is the American populace. Rush Limbaugh famously says “conservatism wins every time it’s tried.” If so, Republicans shouldn’t be surprised with the converts they win after actively and openly engaging with this wider audience.

SEND US YOUR LETTERS AND GUEST COLUMNS We want your opinion on the University’s most pressing issues. E-mail your letters and guest columns to daperspectives@mail.wvu.edu. Include a name and title with your submission.

Civil unrest in Yemen is a political mess that is worth fixing sanchay jain washington square news uwire

The international community must earnestly thank Libyan dictator Muammar Gaddafi for his ability to be the perfect scapegoat. In a region filled with corrupt, American-sponsored brutes and dictators, Gaddafi represents a tyrant who has never been influenced by the West and is willing to fight to the

death to maintain his vice grip over his country. As a result, NATO and the United Nations have jumped all over the opportunity to participate in the Libyan civil war by launching a no-fly zone, ignoring the severe repercussions of the protests still ongoing in Bahrain, Jordan, Syria and, most importantly, Yemen. Yemen’s chaos is especially important when one considers the over $190 million dollars in aid the nation was receiving from the U.S., which considers Yemeni President Ali Abdullah Saleh a pivotal ally in the ongo-

ing albatross that is the war on terrorism. This is the same Ali Abdullah Saleh who just last week declared a 30-day state of emergency, which suspends the constitution, bars protests and allows security forces to gain even further powers of arrest. The reason for the state of emergency is the surge in protests that have gripped Yemen since February. People have been protesting Saleh’s 23-year reign, which has been notorious for corruption, torture and the false promise of democracy.

While Saleh’s regime has cracked down on protests, particularly in the capital of Sanaa, he has been unable to quell the outrage. Even claims he would not run for the presidency in 2013 fell upon deaf ears, as many were reminded of a similar claim he made last election. Now promising to step down at the end of the year, his pledges are being contradicted by authoritarian actions like declaring this state of emergency. And while Saleh makes inflammatory statements about how he will only relinquish

power if the nation he has abused is in “safe hands” following his resignation, the international community has ignored his actions and words, choosing instead to focus entirely on Libya. By ignoring Yemen, we are ignoring a nation where Al Qaeda has gained significant foothold despite the hundreds of millions of dollars America has poured in wantonly, as evinced by the recent capture and subsequent blast of a munitions factory that left over 100 people dead. We are ignoring a nation that has been in the throes of a civil

war for years now and whose army seems determined to subvert the protests that have been generated by the people. As important as the ramifications of Libya’s civil war is for the international community, the unrest initially sparked by Tunisia has engulfed the entire region. And although it may be against American interests to create an arbitrary sense of order by focusing only on one nation’s struggle for freedom, there is no point in hiding the truth and sacrificing some people to help others.

THE DAILY ATHENAEUM

5 | CAMPUS CALENDAR

FRIDAY APRIL 1, 2011

CAMPUS CALENDAR CAMPUS CALENDAR POLICY To place an announcement, fill out a form in The Daily Athenaeum office no later than three days prior to when the announcement is to run. Information may also be faxed to 304-293-6857 or e-mailed to dacalendar@mail.wvu.edu. Announcements will not be taken over the phone. Please include

April 2 SIGMA ALPHA will host a yard sale from 7 a.m. to 2 p.m. in the parking lot behind the South Agricultural Sciences Building. A percentage of the proceeds will go to the Morgantown Spay and Neuter Assistance Program. AMERICAN INSTITUTE OF CHEMICAL ENGINEERS will be hosting a 5K run with proceeds going toward the Free Wheelchair Mission. It is $15 to pre-register and $18 to register the day of the event. For more information, email aichewvu@gmail.com.

April 3 VERA BRADLEY BINGO will be hosted by WVU’s School of Pharmacy Relay for Life Team and the Lambda Kappa Sigma student organization at 1 p.m. in Room 1905 of the Health Sciences Center. Attendees can participate in twenty games of bingo to win Vera Bradley handbags and accessories. Ticket admission is $20 and all profits will be donated to the American Cancer Society. For more information, email Sarah Embrey at sembrey@sole.wvu.edu.

Every Friday WVU HILLEL offers a Shabbat Dinner at 6:30 p.m. at the Hillel House at 1420 University Ave. For more information or a ride, call 304-685-5195. LUNCH FOR A BUCK takes place at the Campus Ministry Center on the corner of Willey and Price streets. For more information, call 304-292-4061. CHABAD AT WVU takes place at 7 p.m. at 643 Valley View Drive. For more information, visit www.jewishWVU.org or call 304-599-1515. CAMPUS LIGHT MINISTRIES hosts a weekly meeting and Bible study at 7 p.m. in the Bluestone Room of the Mountainlair.

Every Saturday CATHOLIC MASS is held at St. John University Parish at 5 p.m. TRADITIONAL KARATE CLASS FOR SELF-DEFENSE meets at 10:30 a.m. in Multipurpose Room A of the Student Recreation Center.

Every Sunday TRINITY EPISCOPAL CHURCH offers services at 8 a.m. and 10:30 a.m. The church is located on the corner of Spruce and Willey streets. WVU WOMEN’S ULTIMATE FRISBEE CLUB TEAM holds practice at 3 p.m. at St. Francis Fields. CHURCH OF JESUS CHRIST OF LATTER-DAY SAINTS offers a service for students at 10 a.m. at the chapel on Willey Street. For more information, call 304-296-7538. WVU HILLEL offers a Bagel Brunch at 12:30 p.m. at the Hillel House at 1420 University Ave. For more information or a ride, call 304-685-5195. MOUNTAINEERS FOR CHRIST hosts college worship from 6 p.m. to 7 p.m. at the Christian Student Center at 2923 University Ave. PAINTBALL TEAM practices at Mountain Valley Paintball Park. For more information, visit www.wvupaintball.com or email wvupaintball@gmail.com. CHRISTIAN STUDENT FELLOWSHIP hosts free dinner at 6:15 p.m. followed by a worship service at 7 p.m. at 2901 University Ave. For more information, contact Gary Gross at grossgary@yahoo.com. SIGMA THETA EPSILON, a National Christian Service Fraternity, would

like to invite any men interested in the fraternity to attend its meeting at 5 p.m. at the Campus Ministry Center. For more information, email sigmathetawvu@gmail.com. CATHOLIC MASS is held at St. John University Parish at 8:30 a.m., 10 a.m., 6:30 p.m. and 8:30 p.m. All are welcome. SINGLE ADULT DINNER for the never-married, widowed and divorced is held at 5 p.m. More information, call 866-948-6441 or visit www.SingleFocusMinistries.org.

Continual WELLNESS PROGRAMS on topics such as nutrition, sexual health and healthy living are provided for interested student groups, organizations or classes by WELL WVU Student Wellness and Health Promotion. For more information, visit www.well. wvu.edu/wellness. WELLWVU STUDENT HEALTH is paid for by tuition and fees and is confidential. For appointments or more information, call 304-293-2311 or visit www.well.edu.wvu/medical. NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS meets nightly in the Morgantown and Fairmont areas. For more information, call the helpline at 800-766-4442 or visit www.mrscna.org. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS meets daily. To find a meeting, visit www.aawv.org. For those who need help urgently, call 304-291-7918. CARITAS HOUSE, a local nonprofit organization serving West Virginians with HIV/AIDS, needs donations of food and personal care items and volunteers to support all aspects of the organization’s activities. For more information, call 304-985-0021. CONFIDENTIAL COUNSELING SERVICES are provided for free by the Carruth Center for Psychological and Psychiatric Services. A walkin clinic is offered weekdays from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. Services include educational, career, individual, couples and group counseling. Please visit www.well.wvu.edu to find out more information. SCOTT’S RUN SETTLEMENT HOUSE, a local outreach organization, needs volunteers for daily programs and special events. For more information or to volunteer, contact Adrienne Hines at vc_srsh@hotmail. com or 304-599-5020. WOMEN, INFANTS AND CHILDREN needs volunteers. WIC provides education, supplemental foods and immunizations for pregnant women and children under 5 years of age. This is an opportunity to earn volunteer hours for class requirements. For more information, contact Michelle Prudnick at 304598-5180 or 304-598-5185. FREE RAPID HIV TESTING is available on the first Monday of every month from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. at the Caritas House office located at 391 Scott Ave. Test results are available in 20 minutes and are confidential. To make an appointment, call 304293-4117. For more information, visit www.caritashouse.net. BIG BROTHERS BIG SISTERS, a United Way agency, is looking for volunteers to become Big Brothers and Big Sisters in its one-onone community-based and schoolbased mentoring programs. To volunteer, contact Sylvia at 304-9832823, ext. 104 or e-mail bigs4kids@ yahoo.com. ROSENBAUM FAMILY HOUSE,

which provides a place for adult patients and their families to stay while receiving medical care at WVU, is looking for service organizations to provide dinner for 20 to 40 Family House guests. For more information, call 304-598-6094 or email rfh@wvuh.com. LITERACY VOLUNTEERS is seeking volunteers for one-on-one tutoring in basic reading and English as a second language. Volunteer tutors will complete tutor training, meet weekly with their adult learners, report volunteer hours quarterly, attend at least two in-service trainings per year, and help with one fundraising event. For more information, call 304-296-3400 or email MCLV2@ comcast.net. CATHOLIC MASS is held at St. John University Parish at 4:30 p.m. on weekdays. MOUNTAINEER SPAY/NEUTER ASSISTANCE PROGRAM is an all-volunteer nonprofit that promotes spay/ neuter to reduce the number of homeless pets that are euthanized every year. M-SNAP needs new members to help its cause, as does ReTails, a thrift shop located in the Morgantown Mall. For more information, go to www.m-snap.org. THE CONDOM CARAVAN will be in Room G304 of the Health Sciences Center on Mondays and the Mountainlair on Thursdays from noon to 2 p.m. The caravan sells condoms for 25 cents or five for $1. INTERVARSITY CHRISTIAN FELLOWSHIP is an interdenominational student-led organization that meets weekly on campus. Everyone is welcome to attend events. For more information, email Daniel at ivcfwvu@ yahoo.com or visit the IVCF website at www.wvuiv.org.edu. THE ASSOCIATION FOR WOMEN IN SCIENCE meets on the second Monday and fourth Tuesday of every month at noon at Hatfields in the Mountainlair. All students and faculty are invited. For more information, email amy.keesee@mail.wvu. edu. THE CHEMISTRY LEARNING CENTER, located on the ground floor of the Chemistry Research Laboratories, is open Monday through Friday 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. and 7 p.m. to 10 p.m. Monday through Wednesday. THE M-TOWN MPOWERMENT PROJECT, a community-building program run by and geared toward young gay or bisexual men 18 to 29, is creating an environment in the Morgantown community where young men can feel empowered to make a difference in their lives. Mpowerment also focuses on HIV and STD prevention education. For more information, call 304-319-1803. THE MORGANTOWN FUN FACTORY, a nonprofit organization, is looking for volunteers to work at the Children’s Discovery Museum of West Virginia. For more information, go to www.thefunfactory.org or email CDMofWV@gmail.com. CHRISTIAN HELP, a nonprofit that offers free resources to the less fortunate, is in need of volunteers to assist with its programs. For more information, call 304-296-0221. COMMUNITY NEWCOMERS CLUB is a group organized to allow new residents of the Morgantown area an opportunity to gather socially and assimilate into their new home community. For more information, email morgantownnewcomers.com.

HOROSCOPES BY JACQUELINE BIGAR BORN TODAY This year, you change your focus. You become much stronger and more direct. An unusually high level of energy could backfire if you don’t funnel this gift appropriately. Consider taking up an easy sport or exercise class to incorporate into your daily life. You are beginning a new luck cycle and opening up to many possibilities. If you are single, someone (or several someones) could enter your life. Allow everyone do his or her thing, as trying to encase or describe these bonds would take away from them. If you are attached, be sensitive to your sweetie. He or she doesn’t have the energy that you do. PISCES can be cranky. ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19) HHH Your nervous energy is so high, you might feel as if you are on the edge of a cliff. Mars, your ruling planet, changes signs. Any edginess comes with the turf when your ruling planet changes signs. Tonight: Go off and enjoy a favorite sport. TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20) HHHHH Your ability to key into another person could amaze many people. Don’t settle for anything less than what you want. Remain sure of yourself when making choices. You could, in fact, wonder why you are making certain decisions. Tonight: Accept a friend’s invitation. GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20) HHHH Sometimes you could be much harder on yourself than need be. Right now, accomplish what you can. Your interests and concerns will change radically dur-

ing the next few days. You are transitioning from taking a strong stand to kicking back. Tonight: Start the weekend well.

thinking, and you might decide to complete what they didn’t finish. Feel free to do otherwise. Tonight: Fun and games.

CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22) HHHHH If you have been longing to take off, you have a small window of opportunity if you want to make it so. In fact, if you have a last-minute hesitation, do honor it. An older relative or friend soon might need you to be there. Tonight: Be where there is great music.

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21) HHHH You have the ability to break patterns and get ahead. Finish off a personal project before you take on anything more. Allow more creativity in the door. Tonight: Avoid a fight, because you have a little too much energy. Go dancing instead, or clean!

LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22) HHHH Your condition does not go unnoticed by many people. In fact, more people have tuned in to it than you realize. You could be thinking about taking off for the weekend. Spontaneity always suits you. If you have a place in mind, do it. Tonight: Whatever you choose to do needs to be something different.

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19) HHH Finish up calls; clear your desk. Get ready for a few relaxing days. You could discover that someone has a strong reaction to one of your decisions. Know that it is better that this person is forthright. Tonight: TGIF. Join friends.

VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22) HHHH How you handle yourself under pressure will be remembered. Be careful with an associate or partner. Most certainly, this person doesn’t see eye to eye with you. In fact, you will be hearing his or her feelings very strongly. Tonight: Out.

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18) HHH Continue to hold yourself back from a major expenditure. You might need some feedback from someone who knows and understands a lot more than you. You will gain by waiting. Take a walk, or sign up for an exercise class. Tonight: Buy yourself a treat on the way home.

LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22) HHH You have pushed very hard to achieve a goal. Has this effort taken a toll on you? Is it time for a break? Someone you cherish could feel ignored. You will need to switch your focus soon. Tonight: Honor your energy level.

PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20) HHHHH You seem to be able to dot your i’s and cross your t’s today. You will feel much better heading into the weekend with so much accomplished. Catch up on calls, and do return a friend’s call before you go out this evening. Tonight: Just don’t be alone.

SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21) HHHH People seem to be distracted and leave a piece of a project or some mutual venture undone. You can visualize what they were

BORN TODAY Broadcast journalist Rachel Maddow (1973), actress Ali MacGraw (1938), composer Sergei Rachmaninoff (1873)

COMICS

Pearls Before Swine

by Stephan Pastis

F Minus

by Tony Carrillo

Get Fuzzy

by Darby Conley

Cow and Boy

by Mark Leiknes

PUZZLES DIFFICULTY LEVEL HARD

Complete the grid so each row, column and 3-by-3 box (in bold borders) contains every digit, 1 to 9. For strategies on how to solve Sudoku, visit www.sudoku.org.uk.

THURSDAY’S PUZZLE SOLVED

ACROSS 1 Lexington and Concord fighters 11 XXXV years after the creation of the original Magna Carta 15 Apple consumers? 16 River through Lake Brienz 17 Start of an aptly expressed linguistic observation 19 Duplicated 20 Roma road 21 Word with sharp or trouble 23 Hand 24 Leagues: Abbr. 25 Like performances by the Wallendas 27 Place to build 28 Flying need 30 Is down with 31 Observation, part 2 32 Source of support 35 It’s about 325 miles east of Texas’s H-Town, with “the” 36 “Return of the Jedi” dancer 37 Like Cologne and vicinity 39 Condescend 40 Fowl with a showy mate 41 Herbal drink 43 “Bewitched” witch 44 Place with swinging doors 45 End of the observation 49 Abbr. on folk song sheet music 50 Listed 51 They have their pluses and minuses 52 Fabled tortoise’s trait DOWN 1 Bud 2 First name in tyranny 3 Checkup charges 4 Inviting words before “Want to come over?” 5 Mystical decks 6 Vacant 7 Dangerous snake 8 Darn 9 Mendes of “Hitch” 10 It may be a scoop 11 Hitched 12 Plots 13 Words to live by 14 “The Merry Widow” operettist

The Daily Crossword

18 Latin term usually abbreviated 21 Window part 22 Early Chinese dynasty 25 Canadian young adult fiction author McClintock 26 Nice summers 28 Numbers in a corner, often 29 Texters’ amused syllables 31 Mexican bread 32 What an asterisk may indicate 33 Lotion additive 34 City WSW of Sacramento 35 Lays eyes on 36 Armchair partner 37 Hall of Fame defensive back Mel 38 Like hell 39 “Edda” author __ Sturluson 40 Coat opening? 41 Volcanic fluid 42 Perjurer’s admission 44 “Melrose Place” actor 46 Explosive initials

47 __ judicata: decided case 48 Some alarm respondents: Abbr.

THURSDAY’S PUZZLE SOLVED

YOUR AD HERE DA Crossword Sponsorship Interested? Call (304) 293-4141

THE DAILY ATHENAEUM

6 | SPORTS/CLASSIFIEDS

gymnastics

6-seed WVU ready for NCAA Regional by Sebouh Majarian Sports Writer

The West Virginia gymnastics team was doing extra flips and cartwheels this week after qualifying for the regional tournament, marking the programs 28th regional finals appearance. The Mountaineers (13-10, 10-4 EAGL) earned the No. 6 seed for the second consecutive year after placing fourth at the East Atlantic Gymnastics League Tournament. The region also features No. 6 UCLA who earned the No. 1 seed, No. 8 Georgia is seeded second, No. 18 LSU earned the No. 3 seed, and EAGL counterparts NC State and Maryland also qualified at No. 4 and No. 5, respectively. West Virginia head coach Linda Burdette-Good was in the March Madness spirit, as she hopes her team can come together and upset the opponents. “I saw the games this weekend, and I hope there are some upper teams that don’t handle (pressure) well, so (upsets) can definitely happen. That’s what you have to hope for as an underdog,” she said. The Mountaineers are coming off a fourth place finish at the EAGL finals last week at George Washington. The team scored just 193.725 points, the second lowest total of the season behind a 192.125 performance against then ranked No. 6 Georgia. “I was very disappointed, I really can’t figure it out because we practiced so well,” BurdetteGood said. “The only thing I can come up with is that we lost focus and I’m not sure why.” The 37th year head coach likes the team’s chances this week because they have their usual home rotation, have competed against four of the teams and have competed in Georgia’s Stegeman Coliseum. Burdette-Good said, “The way I’ve been thinking about

KUPPELWEISER Continued from page 3

It is absolutely clear Stewart has a great love for the state of West Virginia as well as the University. By way of that, I am certain Stewart and those around him will handle this year with the utmost professionalism. Stewart, love it or hate it, is going to be the head coach of West Virginia next season, but

SOCCER

Continued from page 3 Brown said. “We want to see where our weaknesses are and develop individual talent and pull it together as a team and develop team play.” Redshirt freshman Sara Keene will replace Butler, the senior goalkeeper who started all 24 games and posted 14 shut-

this and what I’ve been telling the girls is. ‘What do we have to lose?’ We need to go redeem ourselves for how we performed at conference.” In order for the Mountaineers to keep their season alive and advance to nationals, they will need to place in the top two. Last season the Mountaineers fell short of that and placed fourth after scoring 195.1 points. “My goal is not to worry about anybody else, if somebody falls and makes it easier for us, we still have to hit our routines to have a chance,” Burdette-Good said. “I can’t get upset if we perform to our ability and another team is a little bit better. I can’t complain about that.” If West Virginia doesn’t place in the top two, it will be the end of Amy Bieski’s remarkable career. The senior currently sits in second place on the University’s career points list with 1,940.6 points, just 130.05 short of all-time leader Janae Asbury (2,070.65). The Nanticoke, Pa., native also won EAGL Gymnast of the Year and Outstanding Senior of the Year awards this week at the league’s championship banquet. Bieski has a solid supporting cast to help keep her and the team’s national title hopes alive. Freshman Hope Sloanhoffer is ranked No. 17 on beam with a regional qualifying score (RQS) of 9.865 and the team also ranks No. 17 on vault (49.08) and No. 21 on floor (49.035). Vault and floor were the two events the Mountaineers performed well on last week. The team placed first on vault and floor while finishing seventh on bars and beam. “Every one of them just needs to do their job.” Burdette-Good said. “We hope they learned a valuable lesson at EAGL and hopefully they can grow on it at regionals.”

CAR POOLING/RIDES

FURNISHED APARTMENTS

AFFORDABLE PARKING $65.00/MONTH Downtown. 304-598-2285 PARKING- 1/2 OFF NOW THRU JULY. Also, Discount for leases for fall and spring signed by May 1. Four Blocks to Mountainlair. 304-292-5714.

SPECIAL SERVICES “AFRAID YOU ARE PREGNANT?” Let’s make sure. Come to BIRTHRIGHT for free pregnancy test. Open Monday-Friday 10:00am-2:00pm. 364 High Street / RM 216 Call 296-0277 or 1-800-550-4900 anytime.

FURNISHED APARTMENTS **COMPLETELY RENOVATED DAIRY QUEEN BLDG. Upper High Street. 2/BR A/C. DW. Sprinkler system, much more. NO PETS. 304-296-2197 or 304-685-3779. 1 & 3 BR APARTMENTS 5 min walk from downtown, w/d, clean, newly renovated 304-288-2499 1&3/BR. SUNNYSIDE. BEHIND SUMMIT hall. 5/min. walk to campus. Year Lease. Nice. 304-622-6826 or 304-672-0559. 1/BR, VERY NICE. 2MIN WALK TO CAMPUS. Fully furnished, off-street parking. $475/mo+¼utilities. Lease/deposit. No pets. Available May 16. 724-583-1123. 2BR, $595/MO+ELECTRIC INCLUDES water & garbage. No Pets. Deposit. Near downtown. Available June 1st. 304-296-7764. 2BR, $650/MO +UTILITIES, DOWNTOWN. 304-290-7368 or 304-377-1570.

1-2/BR. LOWER SOUTH PARK. Availble June 1st Includes gas/water/trash. Laundry access. 10-min walk to campus. $475/mo&up. 304-288-9978 or 304-288-2052

Now Renting For May 2011

1,2,3/BR APT w/off-street parking. Laundry facilities. Close to downtown. 15/min walk to WVU campus. $340, $550, $700 plus electric. Available 5/15/11.No Pets. 579 Brockway Ave. 304-282-2729.

Efficiency 1-2 & 3 Bedrooms • Furnished & Unfurnished • Pets Welcome • 24 Hour Emergency Maintenance • Next To Football Stadium & Hospital • Free Wireless Internet Cafe • State of the Art Fitness Center • Recreation Area Includes Direct TV’s ESPN,NFL, NBA,MLB, Packages • Mountain Line Bus Every 15 Mintues

Office Hours Mon-Thursday 8am - 7pm Friday 8am - 5pm Saturday 10am - 4pm Sunday 12pm - 4pm

599-7474

Morgantown’s Most Luxurious Address

MUST SEE JUST LISTED. 611 ALLEN Ave. 2/BR. Close to Arnold Hall. Excellent condition. DW, WD, AC, Parking. Utilities included. NO PETS. 12/mo lease and deposit. Call 304-288-1572 or 304-296-8491. Also Available 1/BR. ONE BEDROOM, TWO BEDROOM EFFICIENCY Apts. Central air, off street parking, near law school. No smoking, no pets. Call 304-319-0863. ONE BEDROOM, WD, ON AND OFF street parking. Available Aug 15, $400 plus utilities. 304-282-5772. ONE BEDROOM, WD, ON AND OFF street parking, yard, pets. $375 includes trash. 304-282-5772.

PINEVIEW APARTMENTS

www.chateauroyale apartments.com

Affordable & Convenient

CONDO FOR RENT (WVU) 4/BR, 4/BA WD in unit. Partially furnished Private parking. $1700/mo includes utilities. Please call 240-687-3451. 240-207-3331.

Within walking distance of Med. Center & PRT UNFURNISHED FURNISHED

2BR APTS. NEAR BOTH CAMPUSES. Parking, utilities included. Available May, 2011. NO PETS. Lease/Deposit. $800/mo. 304-216-2151 or 304-216-2150.

2,3, and 4 BR

Rec room With Indoor Pool Exercise Equipment Pool Tables Laundromat Picnic Area Regulation Volley Ball Court Experienced Maintenance Staff Lease-Deposit Required No Pets

4/BR CONDO. PRIVATE BATH. Walk-in closets. W/D. $365/mo. per room includes utilities. Contact Yvonne: (302)270-4497 leave message. A MUST SEE LARGE 3 BEDROOM FURNISHED APARTMENT 8 min. walk to main campus. Quiet residential area. Quality furnishings, D/W, Microwave, Off street lighted parking, A/C, Laundry facilities. Year lease, NO PETS 304-296-7476 ATTRACTIVE 1 & 2/BR APARTMENTS. Near Ruby and on Mileground. Plenty of parking. 292-1605

599-0850 SCOTT PROPERTIES, PROPERTIES, LLC Introducing Jones Place In Sunnyside 4 Bedroom, 2.5 Bath Furnished Townhomes With covered Parking Available August 2011 INCLUDES ALL UTIL, WD, NO PETS 2BR Apt $800, 1BR efficiency $470/mo, 1BR attic apt $500-no WD, AC, 1BR/living room $600. Available May16. 304-983-8066 or 304-288-2109.

rest assured Mountaineer Nation – everything is going to be OK. Many have talked about the divide that may be created because of the transition, but here’s to hoping WVU will rally around Stewart and send him just like they brought him in just four short years ago – with a trademark win and a great moment in Mountaineer history.

Now Leasing For May 2011 UTILITIES PAID

Townhome Living Downtown 304-599-5011 scottpropertiesllc.com SUNNYSIDE 1 MINUTE WALK to campus. 1-2BRS. Lease and deposit. NO PETS. Call 291-1000 for appointment.

Downtown & South Park Locations Houses & Apartments Efficiencies Starting @ $310

outs while only allowing .82 goals a game last season. “She has some big shoes to fill. She’s been training, she has a lot of talent, and she just has to be that leader for us in the back,” Izzo-Brown said. “I’m excited because I think the only thing she’s missing is experience, and she’s going to be getting that all spring.”

2-3/BR APTS. AVAILABLE IN MAY. Gilmore St. Apartments. Open floor plans, large kitchens, large decks, A/C, W/D. Off-street parking. Pet Friendly. Off Univ. Ave near top 8th. Text or call: 304-767-0765. 2/BRs. AVAILABLE. WD. DW. Big porch. Parking. NO PETS. $700/mo plus water/electric. Westover. Lease/dep. 304-826-0002. 2BR 2FULL BATH NEXT STADIUM AT 910 Don Nehlen Dr. (above the Varsity Club). DW/WD, microwave, Oak cabinets, ceramic/ww carpet, 24hr maintenance, CAC, off-street parking. $395/person +utilities. Close to hospitals. Some pets/conditional. For appt. call 599-0200 2BR, 1BATH DOWNTOWN ON STEWART STREET. Recently remodeled. Off-street parking, DW, laundry facilities. $700/month +electric. Pets considered. 304-296-8943 www.rentalswv.com 2BR/2BTH. Available May. Stewartstown Rd. $650/month. Garage, no pets, W/D, A/C 304-288-6374 or 304-594-3365 2-3-4-5/BR APARTMENTS. SPRUCE and Prospect Streets. NO PETS. Starting in May/2011. Lease/deposit. For more info call 292-1792. Noon to 7pm. 2/BR APARTMENT IN WESTOVER. All utilities paid, W/D included, pets with deposit. $850 month www.morgantownapts.com or 304-615-6071 2BR Available May. 332 Stewart Street. $625/month. Utilities included. Parking, no pets, washer/dryer. 304-288-6374 or 304-594-3365 2BR NEAR CAMPUS, NICE NEIGHBORHOOD, deck, view, W/D. $700 electric included. Pets OK. 304-777-9604. 3BR SOUTH PARK. GREAT LOCATION. DW. WD. Off-street parking. Call 304-906-9984. 3BR, 2BA TOWNHOUSE. WALK TO Mountainlair. DW, WD, Off-street parking. Newly remodeled. Call 304-906-9984. 3/BR FOR RENT. WALKING DISTANCE to downtown campus. $1200/month plus utilities. Off-street parking. No pets. Available May 15. 304-919-0086. 3BR APARTMENT Downtown Campus. W/D, free parking, priced to include utilities. Call 304-594-1200 or bckrentals.com ACROSS RUBY/STADIUM. INGLEWOOD BLVD. 2BR APT, 2BR Townhouse. May/August 2011. Parking. W/D in building. Call 304-276-5233. AVAILABLE 6/1/11. 101 McLane Ave. 1/BR. A/C, WD on premises. $550/mo includes all utils/cable-tv, and parking space. NO PETS. 304-599-3596. 304-216-2874 AVAILABLE MAY 2011. 1,2,3,4,5,6BR 304-296-5931.

Barrington North Prices Starting at $605 2 Bedroom 1 Bath 24 Hour Maintenance Security Laundry Facilities

2 BR Starting @ $325 3 BR Starting @ $370

2 Min. From Hospital and Evansdale Bus Service NO PETS

292-9600 368-1088

304-599-6376

www.morgantownapartments.com

On the web: BETWEEN CAMPUSES 1-2 BEDROOM APARTMENTS. Attractive & Spacious. Great Neighborhood. Lighted Private Parking. Water Utilities Included. A/C, D/W, W/D Laundry On Site. Furnished & Unfurnished. Cable & Internet Available. No Pets. 304-296-3919

1-3 BR APTS AND HOUSES. SOME include utilities and allow pets! Call Pearand Corporation 304-292-7171. Shawn D. Kelly Broker 74 Kingwood St.

AVERY APARTMENTS. NEWER 1+2/BR. units. 1/BR-$625, 2/BR-$850+utilities. Includes: DW, microwave, WD, hardwood floor, walk-in closets. Other amenities include free WiFi, fitness room, sunbed. NO PETS. Conveniently located between downtown and hospitals. Off Stewartstown road. 304-288-0387or 304-692-9296.

Kingdom Properties

brian.kuppelweiser@mail.wvu.edu

UNFURNISHED APARTMENTS 1-2-3/BR APT AVAILABLE APRIL. PET friendly, most include gas/trash & WD. Most in Sunnyside. PR-7;304-879-5059 or 304 680-2011.

sebouh.majarian@mail.wvu.edu

Friday April 1, 2011

BEST LOCATION IN TOWN. OFF CAMPUS housing on campus location! Call us before you sign that lease. Newly remodeled 2 and 3BR, C/A, WD, private patioparking available. 304-598-2560.

www.kingdomrentals.com

BEVERLY AVE. APARTMENT. 2-3-4/BR Well-maintained. Off-street parking. W/D. DW. A/C. NO PETS. Available 5/16/11. 304-241-4607. If no answer: 282-0136.

AVAILABLE May 15, 2011

NOW LEASING FOR MAY 2011 BENTREE COURT (8TH ST. AND BEECHURST)

AVALON APARTMENTS

(NEAR EVANSDALE-LAW SCHOOL)

1BR / 2BR (2Bath)

Downtown #1 Wall Street- Morgantown

Thursdays: Pasta Night Fri & Sat: Seafood Night Sundays: Famous Brunch Fantastic Vegetarian Selections & Delicious Homemade Desserts

304-292-0982

e a t a t m a x we l l s . c o m

ALL UTILITIES INCLUDED Cable-Internet Included Washer Dryer Included Parking Included Central Heat and Air Walk In Closets Dishwasher-Microwave Private Balconies 24 Hour Emergency Maintanance On Site Management Modern Fire Safety Features Furnished Optional On Inter-Campus Bus Route OTHER 2BR UNITS CLOSE TO CAMPUS W/SIMILAR AMMENITIES

“GET MORE FOR LESS” CALL TODAY 304-296-3606 www.benttreecourt.com NOW LEASING 1BR Apartment. Available May 15th. Prefer Graduate Student. No Smoking. No Pets. 304-288-0817

UNFURNISHED APARTMENTS 1 and 2/BR APARTMENTS. UTILITIES INCLUDED. Also 2 and 3 bedroom houses. Downtown. 304-288-8955. 1 BR Apartments 2 blocks from Mt. Lair Available May 15. Please call M-F 8am-4pm.304-365-APTS(2787) www.geellc.com. 1 OR 3/BR NEAR LAW SCHOOL. $395/$1125 + utilities. 304-288-4481. 1, 2, or 3/BR PARTIALLY FURNISHED HOUSE. 662 Jones Ave. NO Pets. Non-smoking. Lease/deposit. 304-203-3107. 2 BEDROOM SOUTH PARK 232 REAY ALLEY includes parking, WD, $600 p/m plus utilities. 304-319-1243, Hymarkproperties.com 5 BEDROOM HOUSE in South Park across from Walnut Street Bridge. W/D. Available may 15th call Nicole at 304-290-8972 150 WELLEN AVE. 1BR. W/D. Utilities included. $600/mo. lease and deposit. 304-290-6951 or 304-599-8303.

ALL SIZES ALL LOCATIONS

304-291-2103 PRU-morgantownrentals.com PRU-morgantownrentals.com

BLUE SKY REALTY LLC

Location,Location, Location! Available May 2 & 3 Bedroom All Utilities Paid Apartments & Townhouses

Laundry, Off Street Parking Included

3 Min. Walk To Campus

150 WELLEN AVE. 2-3/BR. W/D. D/W. Utilities included. $800/mo. lease and deposit. 304-290-6951 or 304-599-8303.

304-292-7990

2BR DUPLEX Available May. 89 Mason St. $650/month. Parking/no pets, W/D, A/C 304-288-6374 or 304-594-3365

LARGE 3BR APTS. TOP OF HIGH ST. All utilities included. 304-292-7233.

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da-classifieds@mail.wvu.edu or www.da.wvu.edu/classifieds UNFURNISHED APARTMENTS

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AFFORDABLE LUXURY

PRETE RENTAL APARTMENTS

S M I T H R E N TA L S , L L C

Now Leasing 2011 1 & 2 Bedroom 2 Bath Apartments Prices Starting at $485 Garages, W/D, Walk In Closets Sparkling Pool & Security

2 Min From Hospital & Downtown

Bus Service NO PETS Bon Vista &The Villas

304-599-1880 www.morgantownapartments.com BRAND NEW! 2/BR Available May 1st. W/D, No Pets, Starting @ $750/mo. 304-329-6384

UNIQUE APARTMENTS

Available Now or for May 2011 2 & 3/BR Newly Remodeled Close to main campus W/D, DW, AC Private Parking Pets/Fee (Three unrelated only)

EFF: 1BR: 2BR: Now Leasing For 2011 OFF-STREET PARKING EVANSDALE / STAR CITY LOCATION LOCALLY OWNED ON-SITE MAINTENANCE MOST UNITS INCLUDE: HEAT, WATER, and GARBAGE SECURITY DEPOSIT REQUIRED

Mountain Line Bus Service Every 10 Minutes and Minutes From PRT

599-4407

ABSOLUTELY NO PETS WWW.PRETERENTAL.COM

RICE RENTALS 2 Bedrooms * Starting at $300 per person * AC, W & D * Off street parking * Stewart Street Complex * Walk to downtown Campus

NO PETS ALLOWED

304-598-7368 www.ricerentals.com

304 - 296 - 4998 FIVE (5) 1/BR APARTMENTS NOW available. West Run, Morgantown. $600/mo each plus $300/dep. NO PETS. Call Jess: 304-290-8572. GREEN PROPERTIES 1/BR APTS, South Park and Sunnyside. Available May 15th. 304-216-3402.

: Brand New 3 Bedroom 2 1/2 Bath Townhomes : Granite Countertops : Stainless Steel Appliances : Central Air Conditioning : Garage : Club House, Exercise Room, Pool www.grayclifftownhomes.com www.rystanplacetownhomes.com www.lewislandingtownhomes.com

304-225-7777

Office Open 7 Days a week 2 miles to Hospital and Schools

LARGE 1/BR. IDEAL FOR GRAD STUDENT. Walking distance to downtown. Nonsmoker, no pets. References required. Call 304-288-0067. LARGE 2 B/R SOUTH PARK. No Pets, W/D, $550/Month. Electric included. Call 304-288-6374 or 304-594-3365 LARGE 2/BR. KITCHEN APPLIANCES furnished. NO PETS. Downtown. Lease and deposit. Call: 304-685-6565. LARGE 2?BR. GREAT CONDITION. Conveniently located across bridge in Westover. 7/min. walk to Walnut PRT. C/CA. D/W. Free W/D. Storage Facilities. $395/person. All utilities included. 304-288-3308, LARGE 3 and 4/BR APTS. IN QUIET South Park. Rent/incl utilis. W/D. Some with parking on bus lines. Short walk to downtown PRT & main campus. 304-292-5714. LARGE, UNFURNISHED 3/BR DUPLEX apartment. Available Now. Close to campus/hospitals. Deck, appliances, WD hook-up, off-street parking. No pets. $750/mo+utilities. 304-594-2225 MATURE STUDENTS WHO WANT TO LIVE near Law School. This like-new building includes 2BR, 2Bath. $800/mo +utilities. No Pets. 304-685-9300.

Downtown Apartments 409 High Street 2 Bedroom D/W, Laundry Facitities Camera System With Secure Entry Door $450/$500 Per Person

* * * *

NOW RENTING TOP OF FALLING RUN ROAD Morgan Point 1+2/BR $590-$790+ utilities. Semester lease. WD. DW. Parking. NO PETS. Call: 304-290-4834. SIMA LLC, 1BB CREEK VIEW $700+UTIL 2BR Creek View $900-1050+util. sima.llc@comcast.net. 304-292-5232. SIX BEDROOM near all campuses. D/W, w/d, central air, offtreet parking. $400/each. Available May 2011. NO PETS 304-692-6549

AVAILABLE MAY 2011 Check out: www.smithrentalsllc.com

(304)322-1112

WILKINS RENTALS 304-292-5714

Now Leasing for 2011-2012 Apartments South Park Locations, Close to Campus and PRT All Include Utilities and Washer/Dryer Many Include Parking Pets Considered Rent as low as $415/mo per person Lease and Deposit South Park - 3 & 4 Bedroom Apts

FURNISHED HOUSES 617 NORTH ST. 4/BR 2 FULL BATH, W/D, 1 car garage, front and back porch with private yard. Off-street parking for 5 cars. Lease May 15. $334 each per month for 3, $325 each for 4 + utils. NO PETS 304-685-3457 (can be unfurnished)

387 High Street (Pita Pit Building)

2/BR HOUSE, 129 6TH ST. 2 PEOPLE @ $350/each includes utilities. 304-291-0667 or 304-282-3414.

2,3, Bedroom With Utilities and Furnished Laundry Facitities $460/$525 Per Person

WELL-MAINTAINED 3/BR HOUSE UNIT. Located close to main campus. 600 Cayton St. W/D, Microwave, D/W, Free off-street parking. $400/mo/per person including utilities. No Pets. Call Rick 724-984-1396.

156 Plesant Street 2 Bedroom With Gas Heat & Water $425/$475 Per Person 524 McLane Ave. 3 Bedroom 2 Bath W/D $350/Per Person Plus Utilities

Downtown Apartment Parking Spots Call For Information

304-322-0046 wwwmotownapts.com

UNFURNISHED HOUSES 2/BR, 2/BA (RENTED TOGETHER OR SEPARATE) CONDO- UNIVERSITY COMMONS. Partly furnished. ALL appliances included. Ample parking. Available immediately. $375/per/room/month. all inclusive 703-608-6342.

HELP WANTED

1-3 ROOMMATES, MALE, 4BR, 4BATH apt. Evansdale, $425/month, WD/DW, AC, Furn kitchen/living room. Parking. 1yr lease. Available May 15. 304-482-7919.

BABYSITTER IN OUR HOME. Non-smoker. Must have transportation. Send references and resume to: morgantownbabysitterjob@gmail.com

NOW HIRING SERVERS AND EXPERIENCED bartender, and line cook. Apply in person. Archies in Sabraton next to CVS. 304-292-3991.

ROOMMATE TO SHARE LARGE FURNISHED HOUSE Walk to downtown campus. W/D. Grad-student preferred. Must like dogs. 304-685-5968.

COUNSELORS WANTED FOR RESIDENTIAL Summer Camp in WV. Skills in Horseback riding or ropes course. Apply online @ camptalltimbers.com 800-862-2678

ROOMMATES WANTED TO SHARE brand new home close to campus, shopping, interstate access. 2 rooms available. $550 utilities included. BuddyAguthrie@gmail.com 724-317-6188.

Computer Graphic Artist & Production Foreman The Daily Athenaeum is now accepting applications in the Production “Department for Computer Graphic Artist & Production Foremen. Experience Preferred Adobe InDesign, Photoshop & Flash Apply at 284 Prospect Street Bring Class Schedule

WANTED TO SUBLET 4BR. INDIVIDUAL LEASE. First floor West Run available now with background check. $375/month. April rent paid! Call 304-203-6677, 304-745-3727 or 304-203-8695.

MOBILE HOMES FOR SALE

EOE

2 bedroom ,1 bath, AC, gas furnace, comes with WD, large covered deck. $14,000. 7 Country Squire Village. 304-312-7731.

AUTOMOBILES FOR SALE

JERSEY SUBS - HIRING DAYTIME CASHIER 11-2p.m. Also cooks & drivers. All shifts. Experience preferred. Apply: 1756 Mileground.

CASH PAID!! WE BUY CARS and trucks. Any make! Any model! Any condition! 282-2560

LIFEGUARDS NEEDED THE PINES COUNTRY CLUB in Morgantown is hiring full and part time lifeguards, Lifeguards should be a minimum of 15 years old, certified in current Red Cross Lifeguard training, CPR/FPR, first aid or equivalent. Applications found online at thepinescc.com or in the club business office.

HELP WANTED !!BARTENDING. $300 A DAY potential. No experience necessary. Training available. Become a bartender. Age: 18 plus. 800-965-6520 Ext. 285

MARIO’S FISHBOWL NOW HIRING COOKS email fishbowl@mountain.net or apply at 704 Richwood Ave.

Spring is Home Improvement Season.

Come join our team at Sears. For more info.

304-296-9122 We are an EOE

THE VARSITY CLUB IS NOW ACCEPTING applications for experienced line cooks and wait staff to fill day and evening shifts. Higher than average hourly pay. Apply at the Varsity Club, 910 Don Nehlen Drive (next to stadium)

IT’S EASY TO ORDER A FAST-ACTING LOW-COST Daily Athenaeum CLASSIFIED AD...

CALL 304-293-4141 OR USE THIS HANDY MAIL FORM

3/BR, 2/BA C/AC. W/D. GAS, HEAT, deck/yard. Near airport. NO PETS. $900/mo plus utilities. 304-291-6533. 304-290-0548. 304-288-2740. 4/BR WALK TO CAMPUS W/D. Lease/Deposit. Available 6/1/11. No pets. Max Rentals 304-291-8423 APTS AND HOUSES FOR RENT 217, 225, Jones Ave. 617 North Street, 341 Mulberry Street, 1-4/BR. $325-$475 each plus utilities. Free off-street parking. NO PETS. Lease May 15, 2011. E.J. Stout 304-685-3457

Scott Properties, LLC Downtown (Per Person) 1 Bd High St. 650 + Elec 1 Bd Lorentz Ave. 525 Inc. 1 Bd First St. 525 + Elec 2 Bd Spruce St. 350 + Elec 2 Bd High St. 400 - 700 + Elec 3 Bd High St. 575 + Elec 3 Bd Firs St. 400 + Util 3 Bd Sharon Ave. 395 + Util Evansdale (Per Person)

NOW LEASING!!! starting @ $320.00/person Skyline Ashley Oaks Copperfield Court Valley View Woods CALL TODAY!!! 304-598-9001 www.metropropertymgmt.net

1 and 2 Bedroom Apartments For Rent

ROOMMATES

1 Bd Van Voorhis 2 Bd Bakers Land 3 Bd Bakers Land 4 Bd Bakers Land

500 + Elec 425 + Util 395 + Util 375 + Util

304-319-1498

scottpropertiesllc.com

TERRACE HEIGHTS APARTMENTS 1-2-3/bedroom deluxe furnished & unfurnished townhouse & garden apartments. Centrally located to university campuses. No Pets allowed. 304-292-8888.

UNIVERSITY COMMONS RIVERSIDE, 4BR/4BA condo, furnished great room. WD. 1mile to Coliseum. $350/room+utilities. 304-599-2309. More info check: rentaidmorgantown.blogspot.com.

CLOSE TO ENG/CAC/DOWNTOWN, 3BR, 2Bath, Parking. WD/DW. 1008 Willey St. $280/person + utilities. Pets OK. 304-594-3817. GRANT AVE. 3+ BEDROOM 1 1/2 bath, WD, Off Street Parking, $1000/mo, no pets 304-983-2529 or 304-694-2306.

NAME: ________________________________________ PHONE: ________________________________

NEW TOWNHOMES- LEASE STARTING Available in May/August. Garage/Laundry/All Appliances included. $420/mo. per person. 719-671-7194 or 3 0 4 - 4 9 4 - 2 4 0 www.chesstownhomes.net

ADDRESS: ______________________________________________________________________________

S m i t h R e n ta l s , L L C Houses For Rent

AVAILABLE MAY 2011 Check out: www.smithrentalsllc.com

(304) 322-1112

VERY NICE SPACIOUS 3-4/BR HOUSE. Walk to campus. NO PETS. W/D. $1000/mo. + Utilities. 304-290-5498. WHARF DISTRICT- 3BR, 2BR & 3BR HOUSES for rent. $350/person/month, includes gas,elec,water. W/D, off-street parking, large houses, big kitchens; 10min walk to campus. Avail. June 1st. Howard Hanna Premier Properties by Barbara Alexander, Owner/Broker, Independently Owned and Operated. 304-594-0115.

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The Daily Athenaeum 284 Prospect St. Morgantown, WV 26506

A&E

Friday April 1, 2011

‘For the Love of Music’

Benefit concert will help maintain a Thomas, W.Va., music venue, donate to Japan relief fund by mackenzie mays A&e editor

A good deed goes a long way. As 16 bands donate their time and talent to save a local music venue, it will in turn donate a portion of its profit to Japan relief efforts. The “For the Love of Music” benefit concert hosted by The Purple Fiddle, a nationally known venue located in Thomas, W.Va., will work to keep the beloved entertainment atmosphere alive, which has suffered as economic downturn has forced live shows to the bottom of local priority lists, according to owner John Bright. “The arts are among the first things to suffer in a down

economy – at both the educational level and the performance level. I think it’s very important to keep the arts alive, to keep our spirits high, to nourish our souls and maintain the cohesiveness of the community,” Bright said. “In the worst of times, community gathering places such as The Purple Fiddle – places of sharing and celebration – are critical to our well-being and our peace of mind.” The Purple Fiddle is most known for creating a unique family-friendly music venue from a 100-year-old historical mining town general store and hosts, on average, 300 live performances a year, and attracted more than 12,000 patrons in 2010 alone. However, according to

Bright, the past three years have been a struggle. “When government tax agencies start sending letters threatening to confiscate assets in lieu of unpaid taxes, you have to respond or go out of business. But I believe strongly in keeping alive what we have started here, and so do hundreds of musicians and thousands of patrons. If I can tap into those strong alliances, then maybe we can continue,” Bright said. “Our goal is to keep The Purple Fiddle open and thriving as the premiere music venue in the state. Right now we’re a business looking to maintain viability. We can’t survive much longer if the status quo continues.” Though Bright admits his business has been hit hard, his

faith in his humble establishment remains strong. “We have much reason to be hopeful because we do have something very special here, and we have the support of thousands of fans and hundreds of bands. These 16 phenomenal bands are a testament to that. They’ve donated their time to help us remain open and vital to the regional arts community. For that, we are grateful and feel very blessed. We just hope it is enough.” While his venue is undoubtedly of importance to him and plays what he believes is a vital role in the local community, Bright realizes others are facing bigger problems, and he wants to do what he can to help.

“First of all, the tragedy in Japan does take precedent, at least on a global scale. That is why we are donating 10 percent of our ticket sales to Japan. Our cause may seem flimsy and self-centered in comparison to the suffering going on there, and it is very important that we put that into proper perspective,” Bright said. “But secondly, we must take care of our own immediate community, too. It helps to maintain a sense of pride and to really see our dollars make an impact in our own lives.” The first concert of the benefit series begins tonight, hosting Dangermuffin, The Halftime String Band and The Hot Seats, while Zach Brock, Stephanie Nilles, Cello Fury

and J.B. Tenney play Saturday. The benefit lasts through May 20 and will feature artists such as Davisson Brothers Band, The Spring Standards and the Hillbilly Gypsies. General admission tickets cost $20. A $30 ticket includes a reserved seat with a $10 food-and-drink voucher. After 10 p.m., tickets are $10. “This benefit directly affects any and all music lovers in the mid-Atlantic region. If the Purple Fiddle cannot survive, then fewer bands get gigs regionally, and fewer bands can afford to travel through this part of the country,” Bright said. For more information, visit www.purplefiddle.com. mackenzie.mays@mail.wvu.edu

Young Reptiles to debut new material live at 123 Pleasant Street Saturday by alex mcpherson A&E writer

submitted

The Young Reptiles will perform at 123 Pleasant Street on Saturday night at 10.

Red bunnies. I don’t know why, but there were ceramic red bunnies everywhere as the vinyl of George Duke’s special brand of jazz fusion serenaded me in the background. Across the room and to my left sat four gentlemen; one wearing argyle socks and one with the crotch split right down his pants. I should have run. It was a teenage slasher movie waiting to happen. But instead I stayed, and met the Young Reptiles. When Chris Barr moved back to town, he thought he’d get the band back together. The only problem was he didn’t have a band in the first place, so he made do with his friends Michael Janney, Ricky Hussmann and Jeff Smith. Smith didn’t even know how to play an instrument beforehand, but after a few sessions on bass guitar, everything came together.

Davis College of Agriculture, Natural Resources & Design

2011 Off-Campus Summer Courses ECOLOGY AND FIELD STUDY COURSES

WEB-BASED COURSES

AGEE 692: Agriculture Summer Institute (3cr) AGRN 552: Pedology (3cr) A&VS 493: Race Horse Industry Tour (3cr) A&VS 493: Equine Events Management (3cr) FOR 424/525: Vegetation of West Virginia (3cr) HN&F 293: Lifecycle Nutrition (3cr) LARC 493: Environmental Design: Stormwater Training (3cr) PLSC 293: Barley to Beer (3cr) RESM 693: Applied Environmental Regulation (3cr) RESM 493: Global Positioning Systems Use & Applications (1cr) RESM 493: Recreational Pond Management (3cr) RESM 493/693: The Watershed Approach: Grassroots Environmental Management (3cr) RPTR 148: Wilderness First Responder (3cr) RPTR: Wilderness First Responder First Aid/ReCertification RPTR 493: Adirondack Adventure (3cr) WMAN 293: Wildlife and Fisheries Sciences Summer Camp (3cr) WMAN 314: Marine Ecology (3cr) WMAN 449: Stream Ecosystem Assessment (3cr) WMAN 493: Wetland Ecology Field Course (3cr)

(Register for web-based courses online) AGEE 101: Global Food and Agricultural Industry, Agricultural and Extension Education (3cr) AGEE 492/692: Contemporary Issues in Agricultural & Extension Education (3cr) WMAN 100: Tradition of Hunting (3cr) WMAN 150: Principles of Conservation Ecology (3cr) WMAN 160: Invasive Species Ecology (3cr) WMAN 200: Restoration Ecology (3cr)

PROFESSIONAL FIELD EXPERIENCES/INTERNSHIPS & ADDITIONAL COURSES These prearranged programs are planned, supervised, and evaluated for credit by faculty and field supervisors. Please see your adviser for details and for authorization prior to registering with the Off-Campus Summer Program Office. Cost: WVU Tuition & Off-Campus Fee.

INTERNATIONAL PROGRAMS LARC 493: Landscape Architecture Community Design-build Jamaica (3cr) 2011 Disegno Italia (6cr) Global Food Marketing Management in Cape Town, Republic of South Africa (6cr)

Registration Information Beverly Hassler, Coordinator, Off-Campus Summer Program Office WVU Davis College of Agriculture, Natural Resources & Design Room 1005, Agricultural Sciences Building P.O. Box 6108, Morgantown, WV 26506 (304)293-2292 bhassler@wvu.edu Office Hours Monday-Thursday 9:00-12:00 & 1:00-2:30

DEADLINE TO APPLY April 7, 2011 Seating is limited on some courses.

New programs are being developed. Please view our website for additional courses: www.davis.wvu.edu

“I originally wanted the band to be called ‘Chris Barr and the Baby Snakes,’ but no one else wanted the band to be named after the drummer,” Barr said. After nixing other options like “Captain to the Bridge” and “Horse Galaxy and Hay Babies,” they went back to their original idea, but made the alteration to “The Young Reptiles.” Coming from a diverse background of journalism, computer and electrical engineering, computer science and art and graphic design, the members have a lot to feed into their music. Their songs deal with everything from the dynamics of commercial marketing to eating meat for every single meal, taking their inspiration from the everyday mundane. For a little over a year, the Young Reptiles has been making its mark on Morgantown with this unique brand of honest rock and five shows to boot. The band has newly released a six-track album “Serial Girls” and are looking to blow crowds

away this Saturday at 123 Pleasant Street. “One thing that’s pretty cool with our sound is that we go in different directions, so we match up with other bands pretty well,” Hussmann said. Its first show since their album release, The Young Reptiles are looking forward to blowing the crowd away with those tracks and more. “One exciting thing is we are playing some new tunes we’ve never played for anyone before,” Janney said. But even the Young Reptiles’ excitement is fleeting, as they prepare to be torn apart by the real world. Hussmann is preparing to leave for New York over the summer to intern with social media site Foursquare, thus dropping the band to three. “We’re going to try the power trio thing once or twice and see how that works out,” Janney said. The band plays Saturday at 10 p.m. at 123 Pleasant Street. alex.mcpherson@mail.wvu.edu

Memphis 59’s latest album samples simplistic, upbeat rock ‘n’ roll influences candace nelson editor-in-chief

Hailing from Arlington, Va., Memphis 59 will open for The Clarks tonight at 123 Pleasant Street. Memphis 59 produced its first full-length album “Ragged But Right” in 2009, with the help from Grammy award-winning producer John Jennings. Since forming in 2008, Memphis 59 has played hits from “Ragged But Right” in and around the D.C., area. The lead track, “Me Myself and Eyes,” begins the album with a rock, alternative country feel with pop lyrics. The drummer for Memphis 59, Chris Zogby, keeps a fast-paced rhythm while lead singer and guitarist Scott Kurt belts out twangy lyrics: “I know this is where you want to be/ You think you’re alone, but I think you’re with me, myself and eyes/ that shine brighter than the stars at night” about giving a relationship a second chance. “Black & White Tv,” the second track on the disc, takes a more rock spin, as Richard Lewis on bass was able to stand in the spotlight. The choppy lyrics and quick melody keep the song upbeat and infuse tones reminiscent of Tom Petty or Bruce Springsteen. Another standout is the sixth track, “Girl At the End of the Bar,” which talks about a guy who met a girl at a bar and is falling in love. Simplistic lyrics combined

“Ragged But Right” Memphis 59 The band will open for The Clarks at 123 Pleasant Street tonight.

with soft beats hint toward a country song, while rugged vocals drive the point home. Finally, “Putting Up a Fight” is one of the best on the album. The alternative sound paired with relatable lyrics makes for a catchy tune that is easy to sing along with. With more songs like this, Memphis 59 has the capability to capture the hearts of fans across country, rock and pop genres. The band has received nominations for best new band in the D.C. area, and it also gives back to the community by donating a portion of the proceeds from its CD sales to St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital. To purchase the CD, visit www.memphis59.com. Tickets are sold out for Memphis 59 and The Clarks tonight at 123 Pleasant Street.

«««« «« candace.nelson@mail.wvu.edu