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Bloom celebrating Valley women
Mar k
M ak ing he r Sue Totty brings her vision to Big Brothers Big Sisters
Winter 2016
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Making A Difference In Our Community Your oral health is an integral part of your total well being! With the use of the VELscope, Dr. Hall & Dr. Dean will improve their assessment of your overall oral health, ensure the delicate tissues of your mouth are healthy and help protect you from oral disease, including oral cancer!
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INSIDE BLOOM
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Columnist Christina Kunkle explains how we can celebrate being overwhelmed while on the path to breaking through.
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16 Spending time with “big sister”
Sue Totty, executive director of Big Brothers Big Sisters, is working to empower Valley youth. your MONEY Experts say creating a budget can help boost your savings account. page 5
your WEDDING Couples use hashtags to consolidate photos taken at their wedding. page 11
your FAMILY Try these tips to get kids’ creativity flowing when the snow starts falling. page 6
your RELATIONSHIPS Caregivers and experts talk on caring for an aging family member. page 22
Hello ladies, and welcome back for the Winter 2016 issue of Bloom. It’s hard to believe that another year has passed. But as holiday celebrations wind down, we have a chance to reevaluate past goals and set new ones for the upcoming year. If boosting your bank account is among your resolutions, Bloom writer Matt Gonzales has compiled advice from Valley experts to help you grow your savings (page 5). Also in this issue, writer Aleda Johnson gets face time with dermatologist Dr. Mary Katherine Mather. Cold winds and dry air can leave skin longing for a little TLC. Mather offers some tips for keeping skin smooth during a rough winter (page 12). As the snow starts falling, closed schools and canceled activities can leave children restless. We talk to a few experts for some great boredom-busting ideas for kids (page 6). And when it comes to youth in the Valley, Sue Totty with Big Brothers Big Sisters of Harrisonburg-Rocking-
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ham County keeps the ideas flowing. From the GrandBigs program to youth empowerment initiatives, Totty is always looking for ways to help our children bloom and grow (page 16). While some are called on to look after the young, others are called to care for our elders. More adults are asking themselves how to best care for aging parents and relatives, and many are taking on the role of caregiver themselves, bringing elder family members into their homes (page 22). Also in this issue, we look at how couples are using social media to share their happy day (page 11), and Bloom columnist Christina Kunkle shares her perspective on the upside of being overwhelmed (page 14). Thanks for reading ladies. If you have any story ideas or know of any extraordinary women in the Valley who deserve recognition, let us know. We’ll be back in spring, and till then, keep blooming! Kyleen Kendall, Editor
your BEAUTY Experts offer advice on putting your best face forward this winter.
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Bloom Staf f
Kyleen Kendall, editor
Matt Gonzales, staff writer Aleda Johnson, staff writer
Christina Kunkle, columnist Noah Clark, writer Contributors
Bloom is a publication of Rockingham Publishing Co., Inc. Copyright © 2016 Rockingham Publishing Co., Inc. 231 S. Liberty St. Harrisonburg, VA 22801 For advertising information, call 540-574-6220.
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your MONEY
Does your nest egg need a
BOOST? Experts offer advice on ways to grow your savings account ARTICLE BY MATT GONZALES
R
PHOTO ILLUSTRATION BY AUSTIN BACHAND
esuscitating your savings account after the holidays can be a tough task, especially if you’re an avid shopper. Dipping into your savings account to get that bicycle for your niece or that latest highdefinition television set for your husband may have been warranted. But now you’re feeling its effects. And you’re doing everything you can to build back up your savings. There are myriad ways to get this account trending upward, according to area financial planners. But it will take steadfast commitment. One strategy, proposed by Gabriel Brunk, member service representative at Everence Federal Credit Union in Harrisonburg, is to launch a club account, which allows individuals to automatically transfer a See BOOST, Page 10
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your FAMILY
Bryan Horowitz of Harrisonburg plays with his son, Adam, 3, at the Explore More Discovery Museum in December. Explore More’s program manager Melanie Veith offers ideas for children’s activities modeled after the museum’s programs.
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Snow days don’t have to be lazy days ARTICLE BY ALEDA JOHNSON / PHOTOGRAPHY BY NIKKI FOX
aking up in the morning, three inches of snow is blanketing the ground and schools have canceled for the day.
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Now instead of going to school, children become restless and bored at home, and parents may struggle with ways to keep them occupied at the last minute.
But there are ways to keep the tykes busy without plopping them in front of the television or tossing See SNOW, Page 8
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Set up canned goods in kitchen to stimulate kids’ imagination Snow
FROM PAGE 6
them into the playroom without a second thought. For days when the weather is too unsafe to travel, Explore More Discovery Museum program manager Melanie Veith has ideas for home activities that can be modeled after some of Explore More’s programs. The exhibits at Explore More are developmentally appropriate for children of all ages, and most adhere to the Virginia Standards of Learning. “One of the things we’re looking for when we create an exhibit is open-ended
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activities where kids can use their imagination and creativity,” Veith said. “Almost all small children learn through play, so all the learning activities are all layered with education because that’s how children play.” For instance, while playing “kitchen,” children are sorting vegetables by color, counting and creating recipes. Parents can adapt Explore More’s idea by setting up children in the kitchen with canned goods and plastic dishes to stimulate their imagination. “A lot of our programs can be duplicated at home,
One of the things we’re looking for when we create an exhibit is open-ended activities where kids can use their imagination.
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Melanie Veith, Explore More Discovery Museum program manager
such as ‘Science Explorers,’ where we do things like make slime or do the egg-in-abottle experiment [which involves getting a hard-boiled egg into and out of a bottle with a mouth smaller than the egg],” Veith said. “They’re fairly easy to recreate at home if you have the right materials.”
Most of the activities children do at Minnieland Academy, a childcare facility in Harrisonburg, are also both crafty and educational. “If the children are eating an apple, the teacher may cut it open to show them the seeds,” Lynn Andresen, marketing coordinator at Minnieland Academy, said. “We incorporate whatever they are currently learning in the curriculum, so they’re learning as well as experiencing.” While the children at Minnieland Academy get taken out into the snow on See SNOW, Page 9
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Projects are winter-themed Snow
Photo by Nikki Fox
FROM PAGE 8
snow days, they are also given other winter-themed projects to create. Children make tube sock snowmen, snow cream, snowflake ornaments or bake sugar cookies, depending on the age of the child. Older school-aged children can be found reading books, playing board games or educational computer games. Teachers at Minnieland will even bring snow inside
Julieta Nicholas, 3, plays with a stage light as her mother, Daniela Soria (not shown), of Harrisonburg, watches at the Explore More Discovery Museum in December.
See SNOW, Page 28
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Financial professional says automatic deposits helpful when saving Boost
Some people don’t realize where all their money is going. [Saving] really comes down to budgeting.
FROM PAGE 5
percentage of their paycheck to an interest-bearing savings account. Most banks and credit unions, he said, offer this “simple, yet powerful” option. “It helps a lot with budgeting,” said Brunk. “It separates funds from regular cash flow, so you see it accumulating.” Automatic deposits can be helpful when saving money, even if just a few dollars a month. Habitually contributing to this account will lend itself to savings growth, said Eric Barkey, owner of Barkey Financial,
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Eric Barkey, owner of Barkey Financial in Bridgewater
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and “living within your means” is something many people today struggle to control. “Some people don’t realize where all their money is going,” he said. “[Saving] really comes down to budgeting.” Budgeting can also eliminate unnecessary spending. This, in turn, will help build your savings. The convenience of eating out is common for many Americans. It can also backfire in terms of saving money. As Barkey noted, grabbing a quick $8 lunch five days a week adds up to See BOOST, Page 30
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your WEDDING Photo courtesy of Brandy Somers
Friends and family take photos of bride Kimberly Turner prior to her wedding. Many couples are embracing the appearance of cellphones at their weddings, allowing their loved ones to feel like larger contributors to their big day with social media hashtags specific to their celebration.
Making the most of social media and the #bigday
The day has finally come for her tographer Brandy Somers. to don her white dress, all satin buttons But instead of being irritated by the and lace, walk down the aisle, meet the technological intrusion, many couples love of her life and say “I do.” are embracing it, allowing their loved Wedding moments have been me- ones to feel like larger contributors to morialized since the mid-1800s when their big day with social media hashtags daguerreotypes were specific to their wedding. first captured on tiny Hashtags are used on ARTICLE BY sheets of copper. social media sites like But no longer does ALEDA JOHNSON Twitter and Instagram that job rest solely with a to categorize a post by hired wedding photographer. Now, a keyword. Couples usually create unique glance over the crowd yields a sea of hashtags by mashing their names tocellphones and tablets held high ready to gether into one keyword. snap the perfect Instagram-worthy moSomers thinks that the wedding hashment. tag is a great idea and even uses it herself It’s a common scene at weddings See #bigday, Page 27 lately, according to Harrisonburg pho-
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your BEAUTY
Fitting in
FACE TIME A facial mask is applied to Cedar Stone School of Massage manager Christine LaFrance by Mariza Dovis, a coworker and massage therapist, during a skin treatment at Cedar Stone in January. Colder weather, often accompanied by lower humidity, easily dries out skin causing dry patches and increased itching.
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Tips on protecting your skin during winter ARTICLE BY ALEDA JOHNSON / PHOTOGRAPHY BY NIKKI FOX
inter is in the air. And it’s the winter in the air that can spell trouble for complexions this season. In addition to donning scarves, gloves and hats, Dr. Mary Katherine Mather of Access Dermatology in Harrisonburg, warns not to forget to protect skin this winter. Colder weather, which is often accompanied by lower humidity, easily dries out skin causing dry patches and increased itching.
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And as we age, or when taking certain medications, our skin can dry out even more. While good skincare routines should be kept year round, Mather said some people may need to step up their efforts in the winter weather. But that doesn’t mean changing their skincare routine altogether. “Some people feel like they need less moisture in the summer because they may be producing more oil or the air
is not as dry,” Mather said. “But I don’t change my recommendations in the winter, more so the frequency of application.” People can counteract the dryness that comes with low humidity by using humidifiers in their house or their bedrooms. Hot water and the process of wet skin air drying after showering or hand washing will also dry skin out. This is because using warmer water, as well as soap
and abrasives, removes the skin’s natural oils, Mather said. “A lot of time people feel they have to exfoliate because they have this dry skin, but it actually makes it worse in some ways,” she said. Mather tells her patients to turn down the shower water temperature, shorten their showers and get rid of the soap, scrubbers and washcloths. See FACE, Page 13
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During winter, adhere to ‘three-minute rule’ Face
FROM PAGE 12
Once out of the shower or bath, it becomes imperative to adhere to the “threeminute rule.” This means that three minutes after drying off, a person should already have moisturized everywhere. “Once they towel off, if they don’t apply moisturizer fairly quickly after that, the net effect is the skin is more dry after the shower than it [was] before they got in,” Mather said. As far as moisturizers go, Mather said, drug store brand moisturizers should suffice, but she warns away from highly fragranced products. Those with acne-prone skin should look for moisturizers labeled noncomedogenic, meaning it won’t clog pores. Another important thing neglected when the mercury drops is sunscreen. “People often forget in the winter that the sun is strong,” Mather said. “A lot of times, people assume they don’t need sunscreen this time of year, but they do.” While many people are cognizant of ultraviolet B rays because they cause sunburn, many aren’t aware of ultraviolet A rays that are present year round and even on cloudy days. “UVA rays penetrate the skin more deeply and cause our skin more sun damage and aging. So that’s why it’s important to wear broad spectrum sunscreen year round because we’re getting the UVA all the time,” Mather said. “Without it, we would increase our risk for skin cancer and photoaging.” Mather recommends a broad spectrum SPF of 15 or higher to exposed areas. TOP: Christine LaFrance, manager at Cedar Stone School of Massage, gets her skin hydrated and cleaned by coworker and massage therapist Mariza Dovis during a skin treatment at Cedar Stone in January. While good skincare routines should be kept year round, dermatologist Dr. Mary Katherine Mather says some people may need to step up their efforts in the winter weather. CENTER: Dovis pumps moisturizer into her hand during a treatment at Cedar Stone. BOTTOM: LaFrance, dipping her hand in paraffin wax, says it is a good treatment for moisturizing skin.
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Don’t break down …
break through! The upside of being overwhelmed, and why it’s good news
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BY CHRISTINA KUNKLE
oo many women I know, love and coach are overwhelmed. Instead of flourishing in a leadership role as the C.E.O., “chief energy operator,” of their own life, they feel deeply depleted by what seem like neverending expectations to perform as a “chief everything officer” at work and home. They come in saying, “I have too many plates in the air and not enough hands to keep them spinning,” or “there’s too much to do and not enough time, or I’m overwhelmed, over committed, overtired, overweight, and over it, but I need help getting OUT of it!” Here’s what I tell them: “This is good news!” Then we celebrate. In that honest moment of self-awareness, in reaching out for help, they’ve already made progress. Yes, being overwhelmed can lead to a breakdown — or wicked case of burn out like mine — but it doesn’t have to. When awareness and willingness to receive help are present, being overwhelmed becomes the first step on the path to a breakthrough. The ‘upside of overwhelm’ is that it invites us to: ■ Take ownership of our emotions and personal power; ■ Set clearer boundaries and expectations; ■ Make choices with intention (a breakthrough) not default (a breakdown); ■ Bend, not break, as we develop greater resilience; and See OVERWHELM, Page 15
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Thinkstock photo illustration
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Your Turn: Are You Overwhelmed? Take the quiz and see...
1. I know I need to work out, but there’s never time to exercise. 2. I don’t have enough time for myself. 3. I am often not happy with my life. 4. I am behind with phone calls, letters and emails. 5. I am always rushing and often late or almost late. 6. I often find myself saying “yes” when I’d like to say “no.” 7. I refer to my lunch hour as “vacation time,” or skip lunch altogether. 8. My desk drawer contains two stress balls and a pound of peanut M&M’s. 9. I wake up exhausted before I even start my day. 10. Life feels like an uphill struggle most of the time. Place a check beside any that seem true for you a majority of the time. Less than 2 checks? Great! You’re not overwhelmed, just really busy. Three or more checks? WOO HOO, congrats! You have a perfect opportunity to learn how to do better in dealing with being overwhelmed.
Ask someone you trust for help Overwhelm
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■ Give up going it alone, and ask others you trust for help.
I believe everyone deserves to experience the freedom and joy on the other side of being overwhelmed. You have one precious life, and I believe you deserve to love it. I also know from experience that it’s possible. So if you’re a busy woman who wants to transform stress to strength, then search until you find a healthy mentor you know, like and trust to help you rebound quickly and with
grace and ease. With a tough mindset, emotional hardiness and physical resilience, it’s possible to enjoy a work-life balance, managing your energy instead of burning out. To breakthroughs and balanced success, Christina
Christina Kunkle, RN and CTA Certified Life and Wellness Coach, is founder of Synergy Life and Wellness Coaching, LLC, creator of the “Synergy Success Circle” and “SOAR,” a Heart-Centered Leadership Development Program. To learn more, visit her website at www.synergylifeandwellnesscoaching.com or call 540-746-5206.
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CLOCKWISE FROM TOP LEFT: “Littles” Jasielys, Esther, Sincere and Summer surround Sue Totty, executive director of Big Broth The girls are part of the Young Women’s Leadership Pro
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A woman with a
VISION Executive director at Big Brothers Big Sisters makes her mark
F
ARTICLE BY NOAH CLARK PHOTOGRAPHY BY HOLLY MARCUS rom working at a summer camp in Iowa as a teenager to nonprofits and schools in Colorado and North Carolina, helping others has long been at the center of Sue Totty’s life. After five years in the Valley, the 64-yearold executive director of Big Brothers Big Sisters of Harrisonburg-Rockingham County continues to put her stamp, not just on an organization, but on a community. Totty grew up in Leland, Iowa, a small agricultural town that had a population of around 200. “It was a place where kids played outside, came home for dinner and nobody worried about things because it was a small community where everyone knew everyone,” she said. The town had one church, which served as a gathering place for residents, and a three-room schoolhouse. Surrounded by a close-knit community, Totty developed a love for education and helping others that continues today. “If my father were still alive, he would say that I was always the person who worked with — and I’ll use this term lightly — the ‘underdog,’ and those who had challenges,” she said. Brothers Big Sisters of Harrisonburg-Rockingham County, outside Skyline Middle School in Harrisonburg. ip Project for seventh-grade girls at Skyline and Thomas Harrison middle schools, which began in August.
See TOTTY, Page 19
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‘I was very focused. ... I wanted to be a teacher,’ says Totty Totty
FROM PAGE 17
At an early age, Totty herself seemed to recognize her path. In eighth grade, she met a single mother who had an 8-month-old daughter with special needs. “I connected with [the child], and I think I probably thought of the single mom and letting her get out of the house and take a break,” she said. “I went on to continue to care for her as she got older.” During her high school years, Totty worked at a summer camp for adults with special needs who were coming out of institutions. It continued to fuel her passion for helping others. “I was very focused. ... I wanted to be a teacher, and I wanted to be a teacher of children with special needs,” she said. “Unlike some kids when they go off to college, I knew what I wanted to do.” While outside influences had an effect on shaping Totty, the most profound people in her life were her parents, Bob and Virginia Severson. Totty describes her father as a strong, hardworking man who was dedicated to his family. “To me, he set the parameters for the things that are still most important in my life: The importance of family and a strong work ethic, giving it your all no matter where you are at,” she said. Totty said her mother, who died in May at age 93,
Photos by Holly Marcus
ABOVE: Sue Totty, executive director of Big Brothers Big Sisters of Harrisonburg-Rockingham County, displays some of her travel memorabilia from Kenya and Peru. She says she and her husband, Jim, try to do a big trip each year. Totty hopes to eventually visit Thailand and the Scandinavian countries. LEFT: Totty stands outside the organization’s office in Harrisonburg.
possessed many of the same traits. She summed up her mother with three words. “She was grounded in family, fitness and faith,” she said. Virginia Severson remained active until her last days, maintaining a driver’s license, reading two books a week and holding a membership at the YMCA. “She was an incredible woman,” Totty said. “She was a great influence on a number of people’s lives, and she did it in a quiet way, a caring way. She walked the track at the [YMCA], did her exercises, read her books and did puzzles every day to keep her mind sharp.”
Totty said she hopes her children, Jon Ruth, 37, and Amanda Soer, 33, will remember her in the same way when she passes on.
Entering The Field
Totty left her small town for Greeley, Colo., where she attended the University of Northern Colorado. There she completed an undergraduate degree in 1972 and a master’s degree in special education with a concentration in learning disabilities in 1974. After graduation, Totty decided to remain in Greeley, where she lived until 1998. In 1975, Congress passed the Education for All Handi-
capped Children Act with the goal of protecting the rights of children with disabilities. Among the pioneers in the new field of learning disability specialists were Totty and her colleagues. “We were almost creating programs as we went from our own experiences,” she said. “We were working in programs, but the certifications hadn’t really been developed yet.” At the time, Totty was teaching in a junior high school and saw how hard it was to work with children transitioning into their teenage years. She knew that See TOTTY, Page 20
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Started GrandBigs, an intergenerational program at BBBS Totty
FROM PAGE 19
teachers needed to reach children with special needs earlier in their educational careers. After two years at the middle school level, Totty transitioned to elementary school as a learning disabilities specialist. “I saw more success there because of early intervention,” she said. “The earlier you can detect what the problems are and you can get some kind of intervention, the better the child will be able to either overcome or compensate for that issue.” The birth of her son, Jon,
I could not have asked for a better community and a better job.
“
Sue Totty, executive director of Big Brothers Big Sisters of Harrisonburg-Rockingham County
in 1978, brought her out of the workforce, but she continued to build on her skills by going back to school for a certification in early childhood education. “I had learned that from working with kids in elementary school, something could be said about preschool,” she said.
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Totty worked at the preschool level until the birth of her daughter, Amanda, in 1982. Once again, Totty took a step back to focus on her own children. Three years later, Totty started her career in nonprofit work as a part-time children’s counselor at A Woman’s Place, a shelter for abused women and children in Greeley. Within a year, she was the shelter’s director. “It’s what really started me in my leadership in nonprofits,” she said. Totty worked at the shelter for several years before moving onto The Greeley Dream Team, a dropout prevention program. Under Totty’s leadership, the 3-year-old organization grew. “I didn’t totally birth it, but I felt I really gave it its wings,” she said. The organization remains near and dear to her heart, she said. From there, with her children almost out of the house, Totty set out on a new adventure, this time to the Raleigh-Durham area in North Carolina. From 1998 to 2001, Totty served as the executive director for Durham’s branch of the North Carolina Partnership for Children, otherwise known as Smart Start. And in 2001, she began a nine-year stay as the organization’s director of state programs. Totty traveled the state, working with directors in 81
locations that served all 100 counties.
‘A Dream Come True’
When her husband, Jim became a project manager at nTelos Wireless in Waynesboro, Totty moved to the Valley and started as the executive director of Big Brothers Big Sisters of Harr i s o n b u r g - Ro c k i n g h a m County in February 2011. After working at the state level for many years, Totty was ready to go back to a community-based organization. “It has been a dream come true,” she said. “I could not have asked for a better community and a better job.” Since her arrival in Harrisonburg, Totty has put her stamp on the organization through new initiatives such as GrandBigs, an intergenerational program similar to Big Brothers Big Sisters’ regular mentoring service. Totty’s previous work at nonprofits has been a huge asset, Rebeca Barge, the organization’s director of programs, said. “She came to Harrisonburg with a lot of leadership experience and a tremendous amount of energy for running a nonprofit,” she said. Becky Bonds, enrollment and match support specialist, said Totty is an amazing person to work under. “She has an open-door policy that if we are ever concerned or struggling with See TOTTY, Page 21
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She ‘does a fantastic job’ Totty
Photo by Holly Marcus
Sue Totty, executive director of Big Brothers Big Sisters of Harrisonburg-Rockingham County, enjoys biking around the Shenandoah Valley as well as many of the rails-to-trails bike paths.
FROM PAGE 20
anything, we can go talk to her,” she said. “I’ve utilized that before, and she’s been wonderful to talk to.” In addition to her colleagues, Totty’s efforts have attracted the attention of others. “We couldn’t hope for a better person to run the organization,” Kevin Flint, president of the Big Brothers Big Sisters board of directors, said. “She’s driven, organized and does a fantastic job.” See TOTTY, Page 25
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your RELATIONSHIPS
Susette Rooks (left), of Luray, and Barb Nicholson (right), a physical therapist at Sentara RMH, help Rooks’ mother Nina Jennings, 83, with her exercises in December. Choosing to care for an aging parent may be a tough decision to make, but it is a decision many are faced with each year.
When family roles reverse
T
Many adults caring for aging parents, relatives at home ARTICLE BY MATT GONZALES | PHOTOGRAPHY BY NIKKI FOX
o this day, Susette Rooks recalls her parents’ biggest
fear. It had nothing to do with spiders nor darkness nor heights. “They didn’t want to be sent to a nursing home when they got old,” said Rooks, 47, with a laugh. While this may have been a
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lighthearted suggestion, Rooks ultimately stood by the request. Rooks, a Luray resident, helped care for her father, Earnest Jennings, a disabled Vietnam veteran with dementia, from 2010 until his death in 2013. She now spends most of her days assisting her mother, Nina Jennings, 83, who is physi-
cally handicapped. “They couldn’t care for themselves anymore,” said Rooks. “Somebody had to step in and take care of them both, so I did.” Choosing to care for an aging parent may be a tough decision to make. But it is a decision many are faced with each year. The number of caregivers, unpaid workers
tasked with assisting others in their daily lives, in America continues to rise each year. “It is becoming more and more common,” said Jean Waters, a nurse practitioner at Sentara RMH Medical Center, who has an interest in geriatric issues. “As the population is aging, there are middle-aged See HOME, Page 23
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AARP Report shows majority of caregivers are female Home
FROM PAGE 22
people that are not only raising their own children but also making the choices for their older parent.” A 2015 report by AARP found that 34.2 million Americans have provided unpaid care to an adult age 50 or older in the prior 12 months. The majority of caregivers, the report found, are female. Eighty-five percent provide care for a relative, the majority of whom are a parent or parent-in-law. That task, said Waters, is far from easy. “It is an extremely timeconsuming process,” she said. How time-consuming? On average, caregivers spend nearly 25 hours a week providing care to their loved one, according to the AARP. Nearly 1 in 4 provides 41 or more hours, and those caring for a spouse spend nearly 45 hours per week. For Rooks, caring for her mother is a full-time job. She takes Jennings to dialysis appointments every Monday, Wednesday and Friday and to regular doctors’ appointments on other days in between her children’s soccer practices. While home, she assists Jennings, who lost her leg to diabetes and is partially blind, around the house. “It’s a 24/7 job,” said Rooks. Barb Nicholson, physical therapist with the Home Health Department at Sen-
Susette Rooks of Luray takes her mother, Nina Jennings, 83, to an afternoon appointment in December. To accommodate Jennings’ wheelchair, Rooks has installed multiple ramps at various entrances at her home.
tara RMH, said caregivers must adapt their homes to their aging parents. This includes modifying your home to meet their needs. If the parent has a physical disability, stairs may be too tough a hurdle and may compromise their safety. So arrange the first level of your home: Have the hospital bed and all other medicines and necessities downstairs or nearby to prevent injury. “Safety is the biggest concern,” said Nicholson. “You have to make sure your loved one is safe.” To accommodate Jennings’ wheelchair, Rooks has installed multiple ramps at various entrances. She and her husband also eliminated part of their living room to expand
the bathroom, while adding safety bars around toilets and in the shower. In Jennings’ room are a hospital bed, bedside commode and a special wheelchair to help her get into the shower. “Changing rooms over, redoing your bedroom or bathroom so everything is in one room, all of this helps,” said Nicholson. Meals should also be prepared in advance, if possible. Readily reheatable foods should be considered, said Nicholson, as it keeps them from cooking. “Sometimes Meals on Wheels can be available to them,” she said, of the organization that delivers meals to elderly people.
Make no mistake: Caregiving can be a financial burden. The average household income of a caregiver is $45,700, according to AARP. The cost of transportation, the purchase of meals, and other in-home health services can burn a hole through your pocketbook. “There’s the financial aspect of assisting a parent, the physical care, setting up of doctors’ appointments, and the mental care and emotional issues,” said Waters. “A lot goes into taking care of an aging parent.” Waters espouses seeking assistance. As she said, caregivers need help, too. Do not be afraid to ask a family member See HOME, Page 24
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Home health or home care agencies could provide assistance Home
Knowing where to get additional support is so important.
“
FROM PAGE 23
to help every so often. Maybe a sibling can assist with laundry, cook a couple times a week, or take the kids to practice. “Just to give you a little bit of additional support,” said Waters. The help of a home health or home care agency can help, too. Home health services allow trained medical professionals to conduct tests, therapy and monitor the health of an individual. A home care service provides aides to assist the caregiver. “Knowing where to get additional support is so important when trying to bring
Jean Waters, a nurse practitioner at Sentara RMH Medical Center
Photo by Nikki Fox
Susette Rooks of Luray helps her mother, Nina Jennings, get into the car. Rooks cares for her 83-year-old mother in her Luray home.
an aging parent into your home,” said Waters. While time consuming, there may be no greater re-
ward than caring for an aging parent. The bond formed can sometimes give closure to issues through your life, if you
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had a rocky relationship in the past, said Waters. It also affords the caregiver the opportunity to spend those precious final years with their loved one, something Rooks thinks about often. “I love having my mom around,” she said. “I love having her close, because you never know how long she will be here.”
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Leadership program has been on Totty’s wish list since 2011 Totty
FROM PAGE 21
Under Totty’s direction, the organization has grown in a lot of ways, Flint said. “The number of kids we serve has grown tremendously, and the quality of our services has continued to improve,” he said. Another one of those services is The Young Women’s Leadership Project for seventhgrade girls at Skyline and Thomas Harrison middle schools that began in August. The after-school project seeks to empower at-risk middle-school girls and develop their leadership skills
and opportunities. “Part of what we hope is that each of the girls may step forward into a new arena of where they can be leaders,” Totty said. The program is a collaboration between Big Brothers Big Sisters, Camp Horizons, Harrisonburg City Public Schools and James Madison University faculty. Funding is provided by a grant from the Merck Foundation and private donations. “You have the guidance counselor who sees the girls every day,” Totty said. “Then you have Molly [Jackson, match support specialist with Big Brothers Big Sisters] who is at
Off Duty In addition to activities with her “little,” Sue Totty enjoys hiking, biking, reading and traveling. Her reading interests jump back and forth from mysteries and historical fiction to books about the Middle East and modern social issues. “I’ve always got a book in my hand,” she said. Bike rides take Totty and her husband, Jim, on backroads around the area. One of their favorite spots is around Grottoes and Weyers Cave.
the schools each week and is also at the sessions, but most of the girls are on her caseload, so she has interactions with them because of that. It’s the perfect kind of structure.” Since 2011, the leadership program for middle-school girls has been on Totty’s wish list, and she is excited to see it coming to fruition.
“We always drive, park someplace and then ride,” she said. “We like to get in a good 25 to 30 miles.” While her favorite place to hike locally is in Shenandoah National Park, Totty has traveled across the globe to places such as Kenya, Costa Rica, New Zealand and Peru. “We try to do a big trip each year,” she said. Totty hopes to eventually visit Thailand and the Scandinavian countries.
“To have it come full circle — from developing an idea to sitting down with staff and putting more meat on the bones, then putting it into a proposal that we could send off to Merck and to see that the funder sees that it has value — is always exciting,” she said. See TOTTY, Page 31
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Kyle Lawrence and his wife, Whitney March, both 31, decided to incorporate a personalized hashtag into their wedding after attending other friends’ ceremonies.
More using hashtags #bigday
FROM PAGE 11
when posting photos of the couple. “Many couples create a hashtag for their wedding, so their whole wedding journey can be documented on social media,” she said. “It allows guests to see photos from the people they just spent the day celebrating with.” Kyle Lawrence, 31, whose August nuptials were photographed by Somers, agrees. “[The hashtag] gives the wedding unique perspective,” the Harrisonburg resident said. “There’s even a picture of Brandy walking up to take a picture.” Lawrence and his wife, Whitney March, 31, decided to incorporate a personalized hashtag into their wedding after attending other friends’ ceremonies. “I went to 14 different weddings in 2014, and just about every single one of them had a hashtag for their wedding,” March said. “I
Photo illustration by Nikki Fox
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Photo by Nikki Fox
Nathan Little, 2, with his aunt Beth Martell of Chicago and grandfather Dan Martell of Nashville (not shown), builds a foam fort at the Explore More Discovery Museum in December. Nathan is the son of Carrie Martell and Mathew Little of Harrisonburg.
‘Doesn’t have to cost a fortune’ Snow
FROM PAGE 9
for the smaller children to experience at their sensory tables, according to Andresen. And because younger children can have rather short attention spans, Veith and Andresen recommend having several activities lined up. “Pinterest has a lot of ideas and is a good place for parents to go if they’re stuck for something to do,” Andresen said. “All the posts have easy-to-follow
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instructions and are created with stuff that is readily available.” Veith said it’s a good idea to stay stocked year round with supplies for various activities to keep costs down. “It’s not always inexpensive, but it doesn’t have to cost a fortune,” she said. “Stock up around the year, keep things stored away and then bring them out only for snow days so they’re new for the kids.” See SNOW, Page 31
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Plans to compile photos into a memory book #bigday
FROM PAGE 27
guess it’s just a thing that they do now.” In Somers’ experience, the hashtag is casually added to invitations or found on signs around the ceremony to let guests know how they can contribute. “I think people just know what to do when they see a hashtag, so they don’t need to be formally instructed,” Somers said. March now gets to use the hashtag as a sort of portable wedding album and will often revisit the photos. “Since we’ve only been married for about five months, it’s still pretty fresh, and I enjoy reminiscing on how awesome
it was,” March said. March also plans to eventually pull the wedding photos off social media and compile them into a memory book. For those concerned about the tech becoming a distraction from their big moment, Somers said it hasn’t been an issue in her experience. “I have been at weddings where phones ring or vibrate, and while it causes a distraction, it’s immediately dealt with,” she said. Even when cellphones are frowned upon during the ceremony, the cocktail hour and reception allow for plenty of hashtag opportunities. “I have not been at a wedding where guests were asked to put their phones away for the
I have been at weddings where phones ring or vibrate, and while it causes a distraction, it’s immediately dealt with.
“
Brandy Somers, wedding photographer
entire evening, but it is common for the officiant to request no phones during the ceremony,” Somers said. “Typically the second ‘you may kiss the bride’ is spoken, phones are out and cameras are clicking freely.” March and Lawrence hadn’t even considered that having cellphones out would be a distraction on their big day. “It never crossed my mind to tell people not to have their
phones out,” March said. “I was up there getting married and could care less what people were doing in the crowd.” And by no means does Somers feel her position as head photographer is threatened by all the now photohappy relatives shadowing her. “It can make my day more tedious having someone over my shoulder, but so far — knock on wood — each tearyeyed mom, snap-happy aunt and tipsy sibling has been respectful of me and my space,” she said. “Ultimately, they have a cellphone, and I have my Canon.” Contact Somers by visiting her website brandysomersphotography.com.
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Transfers from savings to checking can be counterproductive Boost
If you are truly interested in $160 a month. “That’s huge,” he said. how to save, talk to a “People don’t realize it adds trusted professional at a local or independent up.” Instead of frequenting bank.
One simple strategy that can help boost your savings is purchasing an $8 bag of beans and brewing it at home instead of buying a $5 cup of coffee each day.
local fast food restaurants, buy groceries in bulk. Instead of buying a $5 cup of coffee each day, purchase an $8 bag of beans and brew it yourself. Make lunch and bring it to work. These simple strategies can help boost your savings. “I know that making foods at home and taking it to work, in particular, can be really helpful,” added Brunk. According to Bankrate.com, a website offering a wide breadth of financial content, eschewing money transfers from your savings has its benefits. Transferring $50 to your checking to go see a new movie, for instance, or going out with friends on a Friday night can be counterproductive. As the site said, “your deposits have to outnumber your withdrawals, not just in number but in magnitude.” Taking advantage of 21st century technology can also help, according to Bankrate. Smartphone applications can allow you to see your bank account within seconds. They can also send you real-time savings account updates and warnings when the balance dips below a certain threshold. Staying cognizant of
Metro Creative Graphic
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“
Eric Barkey, owner of Barkey Financial in Bridgewater
your account and finding ways to expand it can have short- and long-term benefits. It can help buoy life post-retirement, for one. It can also be useful in the event of a flat tire, a car battery dies, a sudden visit to the emergency room, or for any one of life’s unexpected detours. It will also save you from using a credit card with a potentially high interest rate, said Brunk. “It’s as if you’ve already saved ahead for those emergencies,” said Brunk. Money can be a sensitive subject for people. Many don’t like to be told what to do with their hard-earned cash, said Barkey. And every circumstance is different. But for those who desire a flexible savings account, he suggests talking to someone in the know. “If you are truly interested in how to save, talk to a trusted professional at a local or independent bank,” said Barkey. “There is always someone to help guide you on how to save more money.”
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Closings posted on website In addition to activities with her “little,” the name given to the young participants in the Big Brothers Big Sisters program, Sue Totty enjoys hiking, biking, reading and traveling.
Snow
Photo by Holly
Marcus
Student art exhibit held at library Totty
FROM PAGE 25
Totty’s enthusiasm was contagious. “She had a vision, and I was excited to jump on board,” Jackson said. At the Massanutten Regional Library on Dec. 10, The Young Women’s Leadership Project held an art exhibit to show off work the girls have done during the fall. As parents and community members milled about the room, Totty greeted each person with a smile.
Several of the girls gave her a tour of the exhibit with Totty matching their youthful enthusiasm. “Tell me about this one,” Totty said, as she moved from piece to piece. One of the participating girls was Totty’s “little sister,” with whom she has been matched up with for three years. “It’s been a real treat,” Totty said. “My children are grown, and it provides me an opportunity to be a kid again.”
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FROM PAGE 28
But no matter the activity chosen, Veith encourages parents to play with their children. “We see parents as children’s first teachers,” she said. “So at Explore More, we wanted to create a place to encourage them to play and learn, [and] interact with their children.” For those who live in town, Explore More is usually open on snow days, according to Veith. Exhibits include a mechanic’s garage with a full-size play kitchen, a car that needs its tires
changed, a fully functioning theater with sound, lights and costumes and a life-size game of Operation. In the event of severe weather and Explore More does close or delay opening, a notice will be posted on the website and an announcement made on the radio. To learn more about Explore More’s programs, visit iexploremore.com or call 442-8900. Call Minnieland Academy’s Harrisonburg location at 432-9660.
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