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Bloom celebrating Valley women
HEALTH ALERT: Parents, it may be time to face facts
Self-esteem tips for the serial giver
Gather ’round
A Bowl of Good owner, Katrina Didot, whips up global flavor using local ingredients
Spring 2013
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INSIDE BLOOM
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THIS ISSUE What’s in your purse? Tell us what you can’t live without.
p. 8
Big-bills blues Break bad habits to get out, and stay out, of debt.
20 International at Home
p. 9 Hello, God?
Katrina Didot specializes in the tastes of faraway places.
The question of questioning.
your BEAUTY Tailor trends to suit your style p. 5
your KIDS’ HEALTH Experts urge HPV shot by 11 p. 30
Liven up the lettuce
your CAREER Sleep + caffeine = SURVIVAL p. 12
your FITNESS Kick that “gym-timidation” p. 34
‘Mirror, mirror’ Make a date (with yourself) p. 27
your VIEWPOINT Farm livin’ — in 28 feet
p. 36
p. 14
Find what suits your mood with our 7 Days of Salads menu.
p. 17 Life has returned — along with the warmth, and it couldn’t have come sooner. After all, it’s easier to see the light when sunshine surrounds you! As seasons change, so do trends, and even if you’re not into that sort of thing, why not channel your inner child — and play? (“Try the trends with confidence,” p. 5) Go bold, go classic or go crazy. Whatever you do, be you! We’ve talked to the experts to find out how to change it up without sacrificing confidence, which is what it’s all about anyway. While you’re at the mirror, reflect on Christina Kunkle’s column (“Mirror, Mirror,” p. 27). Look into your eyes, what do you see? This issue’s installment may take you a bit out of your comfort zone, but isn’t that how progress is made? Resolutions have now had months to gather dust, and in that spirit, we offer inspiration (“They won’t point!” p. 34). Don’t let
your hang-ups stand in the way of moving forward. We’ll show you how to get out of the rut and back into the gym. During this, the season of new beginnings, we’ve had a few in the Bloom family: Congratulations to Kate Kersey, assistant editor, on her recent engagement to her boyfriend Josh, as well as Mary Lou Dean, editorial assistant, who will welcome her second grandchild in June! And don’t forget to join us for Bloomfest, scheduled for July 14 at Turner Pavilion on South Liberty Street, across from the Daily News-Record. Come browse the vendors and chat with us about what you’d like to see in future issues. Thanks for reading and Keep Blooming!
Alicia Rimel Editor
Bloom Staff Alicia Rimel, editor Kate Kersey, assistant editor Samantha Cole, staff writer
Contributors Christina Kunkle, columnist Luanne Austin, freelance writer Torie Foster, Bloom intern
Account Executives Kim Potter & Sara Schu For advertising information, contact Kim Potter at 574-6224 or kpotter@dnronline.com, or Sara Schu at 574-6227 or sschu@dnronline.com. Bloom is a publication of Rockingham Publishing Co., Inc. Copyright © 2012 Rockingham Publishing Co., Inc. 231 S. Liberty St. Harrisonburg, VA 22801
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your BEAUTY
Part of the fun of makeup is trying something new. Here’s how to do it and still look like you.
Article by Samantha Cole
with confidence
Try the trends
While eye-popping colors are popular this season, beauty is all about confidence: Don’t wear a bold purple if you’re more comfortable with a softer shade.
om
s.c oto
ph
B
eyond the fashion faux pas or forward-thinking this season, Vivian Myers wants her clients to feel good about themselves when they come to her Merle Norman studio on Liberty Street.
“Why would you want to look like someone else?” she asks.
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Browsing brows Myers’ philosophy? “The eyes are the mirrors to the soul.” Bold eyebrows are trending this season, with heavy, natural colors framing those “mirrors” on New York Fashion Week runways. But brazen brows are like blazing lips: better left on the runway until you’re ready to fully embrace the trend. Myers’ client and James Madison University graduate student Gwen Murtha says keeping her eyebrows groomed makes her eyes feel “more opened” and her face look “cleaner.” Confidence, Myers said, comes from within. “People sum you up in four seconds,” she said. “They’re looking for the soul … and you have to be able to make contact.”
Framing the mirrors
H
ere, Myers shares her tricks for springing ahead of the curve
Stage makeup may sport glittery blue eyes, but for real-world wear, Myers opts to highlight the natural eye color. “It’s the dramatic look of eyes in the evening, with more bold lashes and smoky eyes.” She said she’s also noticed fashion trends leaning toward softer green and blue shades for spring. Use a tinted moisturizer with sunscreen to even out skin tone without that “caked-on feeling” as temperatures rise. “In the magazines, some people don’t even have a tan,” Myers said. As more shops accept mannequins in plus sizes and makeup artists focus on suiting styles to personalities, Myers says it’s all about your personal style. “It’s a confidence thing… it has to fit you, and what you’re doing.”
this season by incorporating
trends warming up the cosmetic world — all while letting your natural beauty shine through.
“It’s a confidence thing … it has to fit you ... “
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Lip service You wouldn’t leave the house without your shoes on, and leaving lips out of your makeup regimen is an equally grievous fashion crime, Myers says. Although this spring’s magazines are sporting popping neon pouts in orange and fire-engine reds, she assures the shy that lips don’t have to set off five alarms to make an impression. Work up the courage to rock a red, she said, by beginning with neutrals or natural pinks. Murtha chose a coral shade for a recent job interview via video chat. The hue complimented her skintone, and she opted for a little less makeup than usual — a tactic she decided would be safe, but fashion-forward as well. “It’s a personal [thing] … but, in my professional opinion, [everything] has to come together,” she said. And don’t forget a moisturizer, to keep chapped lips from destroying your pout!
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Bloom celebrates women
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Lipstick, lip gloss, sunglasses, nasal spray, 10 ft. measuring tape, nail clippers, floss, eye drops, a $100 massage gift certificate
Camera, sunglasses, micron pens, business cards, a boarding pass to Texas, notebook
Renee Brown
Katie Schmid
Carolyn Hartman Ethiopian cross key chain, phone, lipstick, toothpicks, floss, medicine, mascara, Q-tips, protein bar, almonds
What’s in
Michelle Simmers
Samantha Miller
your
Peppermint extract, bobby pins, lucky beer caps, cellphone, keys
Chapstick, two reusable grocery bags, wallet, sunglasses, bandages, keys, store membership cards, camera
purse
?
Compiled by Samantha Cole
Carla LaBree Camera, map, wallet, gum, lotion, sanitizer wipes, vitamin B complex, drink recipes
Kandy Johns Lipstick, cards, license, checkbook, hand wipes, pictures of kids
Kathryn Kavanagh Farmer's market salad, two CD's, “The Creation of Feminist Consciousness” by Gerda Learner, maps, banana, calendar
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your MONEY
Do your monthly bills total more than your paychecks? Does it seem impossible to get out of debt? Article by Luanne Austin The experts are here to help.
Get out of debt. And stay out.
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Plan of attack At the Community Resource Center in Harrisonburg, which connects people with needed services, Linda Kohn, director, refers people to Cristin Sprenger, a family and consumer services extension agent with the Virginia Cooperative Extension who offers a no-nonsense approach. “You can increase your income or reduce your debt or do a combination of both,” says Sprenger, a financial counselor who teaches classes on budgeting and debt reduction. “Borrowing is not an option.” Sprenger warns people to beware of debt consolidation services, which can charge high interest, causing their debts to increase. Instead, she suggests making a spending plan based on income and expenses. In addition, she says, “make a plan to pay a little more than the minimum payments on credit cards." Linda Hoover, financial adviser at Ameriprise Financial in Harrisonburg suggests tackling the problem head on. “The first thing I’d advise is to pay off the debts with the highest interest rates. For one thing, they’re not tax deductible, as a mortgage is.” Sprenger agrees, but says some people would rather pay off debts with the smallest balances first, just to get them off their plate.
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Credit cards: Friend or foe? Some credit cards charge up to 36 percent interest, so unlike Sprenger, Hoover is not opposed to borrowing — provided you can find an offer for a lesser interest rate. Keep an eye on your mail, she says. “If your credit is good, you may get offers for transferring the balance into another card,” Hoover says. “Some offer 0 percent financing for up to 12 months. Lately, I’ve been seeing that for 15 and 21 months.” When considering these offers, be sure there’s no annual fee, says Hoover. A transfer fee of two to three percent is normal, though. If you can make larger payments on these 0 percent accounts, you’re going to whittle the balance down quickly. But, Hoover warns, “don’t use that card for purchases.” Sprenger thinks people should just stop using credit cards altogether. Both women agree that debt should only be incurred for things like education, or a house or car. “Some people can’t distinguish between needs and wants,” Hoover says. “They use their credit cards for Christmas gifts or vacations.” Since an increase in income can certainly help to reduce debt, she also suggests using income tax refunds to make lump sum payments on debts.
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Those who get large refunds may be able to change their withholding tax so their net pay is higher, Hoover says. Getting a part time job and using the money to pay off debt may be necessary for a while.
Staying on track Once the debts are paid off or greatly reduced, set up a savings plan to build cash reserves for major purchases, such as vacations or down payments, says Hoover. Sprenger takes it one step further, advising people to save up the cash for a good used car. Sprenger says it’s important for husbands and wives — or for any partners who share income — to communicate clearly on the subject of money. “It’s a hard conversation to have — it’s not fun — but it’s necessary,” she says. Money is the number one cause of marital arguments, many experts say. In workshops and in counseling, Sprenger teaches couples how to talk about money in ways that are helpful to their budget and their relationship. Hoover also recommends getting help from a nonprofit financial counseling organization, such as Family Financial Education Counselors. “Of course, it’s easier to help people with good jobs who just don’t handle money well,” she says. “It’s more difficult to help people who don’t make enough to make ends meet.” Hoover adds, “But if someone is determined to do it, I think they can.” For more information about upcoming VCE budgeting workshops or financial counseling, call or email Sprenger at 564-3080 or cristinc@vt.edu.
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HAPPY SPRING 2013
Keep
Blooming!
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your CAREER
For Camille Sallette to work two jobs, she turns to
sleep
and caffeine.
“I do a lot of power napping,” she admited, laughing. Her approach helps her maintain sanity while bartending at Jack Brown’s Beer & Burger Joint and serving at Little Grill Collective. She works nine-hour shifts at Jack Brown’s while working 25 hours a week at Little Grill, where she is also training to become part-owner. “So much restaurant [work] can really rag on you,” she said, “but it’s really nice because I’m a people person, and I thrive on human interaction.”
Negotiation and suppor t While Sallette is happy working two jobs, she admits it is challenging. Her first piece of advice for those doing the same is to be up front with employers. Trying to hide a second job will only cause added stress. “Negotiate with your employers in terms of working out the most reasonable schedule that you possibly can and also just set an upper limit of the number of hours that you’re willing to work,” advised Rowland Shank Jr., a licensed clinical psychologist in Harrisonburg. Shank, who himself once worked as both a clinical psychologist and an investment adviser, says it is important to sit down with your family to discuss the positions. “Ideally, it has to be a situation where your partner [or] your spouse, is really signed onto this [and] willing to pick up the slack on all the things at home that you can’t do, including parenting,” he said. Working multiple jobs also tends to negatively impact the
Always on
the GO?
Article by Torie Foster Photography by photos.com
Working two jobs may be necessary, but doctors urge
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time you have to spend with friends and family, especially your children. He said it really boils down to whether “you have a supportive community of people who are willing to put up with the craziness of doing this for a period of time.”
Staying organized It’s essential to be “very, very efficient with time management,” Shank said, simply because you are working so many hours. Maintaining dedicated work spaces can make things easier. Find a “dedicated site in the home or elsewhere where Is it that time AGAIN? [you] can really focus and concentrate” — complete with pens, paper, pencils and whatever else you need to complete “If you pretend that you’re limitless and the usual limits tasks, Robedeau explained. Make sure the room is quiet and turn off your cellphone of being a finite human being don’t apply to you, then you or any other distractions. To avoid any interruptions, hang run into trouble,” Shank said. Those working multiple positions have to make sleeping something on the doorknob to remind everyone that you are a priority. working. “Often, people doing this are Holly Robedeau, a counselor running in a state of kind of and clinical psychologist who spechronic fatigue,” he said. “It really cializes in business and organizamakes it hard for you to regulate tional development, suggests your mood and your emotions durfinding a role model for the posiing your waking hours.” tions you’re working in. Robedeau, who herself does “Find a mentor who is experiyoga, suggests doing meditation for enced and may be able to help with five minutes every day to keep the content or the venture that yourself relaxed, especially right you’re thinking about,” said Robebefore working. Others, she said, deau, who has her own practice, like to go for a half-hour run or but also works as an assistant psywalk. chology professor at James Madi“It really helps to calm the mind son University. Above all, when working more than and reduce distracting thoughts,” Make time for activities like get40 hours per week, make sure to get an ting coffee or going for a walk with adequate amount of sleep, experts recommend. she said. “It’s amazing how much we can get done when we do some“friends who are supportive [and] thing like that.” care about you,” she said. She also emphasized setting time aside for fun and family and friends. Head to the gym, take a group fitness class, go Finding peace The key to working two jobs is a willingness to set boundaries. hiking, see a movie, or just get a cup of coffee — anything that requires some sort of commitment and forces you to take a break. Even reading or gardening can have substantial benefits. “Adults have to have play time — not just kids,” said Shank, who recommends taking occasional trips or days off without a laptop or phone. Generally, Shank says people should not work more than 60 hours a week. “If you go 60, upwards to 80 hours — which is not unheard of — then there’s really a price to be paid ... in terms of your relationships, mental health and physical health,” he said. For Sallette, the answer is simple. “Remember, when you come home, to just leave work when you leave,” she said.
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your SPIRITUALITY
hello,
God
Article by Luanne Austin
A
“Why does a loving and all powerful God allow so much suffering in the world? Garber’s questions concerned her Sunday school teacher so much that the teacher called her parents. “It’s why I walked away from organized religion,” says Garber, pastor of RISE, a United Methodist faith community in Harrisonburg.
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s a teenager, Amanda Garber asked too many questions. Questions like ... “How does one understand the violence in the Old Testament, especially when Jesus seems to be nonviolent?”
“Why do I have to choose between science and faith?”
“Instead of people honoring my questions,
I got shut down.” Redefining faith A poll released last year by Pew Research Center shows that one-fifth of all Americans have no religious affiliation and have had doubts about the existence of God. Among young people — ages
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18-29 — that fraction is one-third. But Garber cautions against calling this a loss of faith. “It’s not so much losing our faith as redefining it,” says Garber. “Life is a journey, and the way we see the world
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and the way we see God is going to shift.” Having a black-and-white definition of God may be part of the problem, according to some authors who have written about young people leaving the faith. “I am convinced that what drives most people away from Christianity is not the cost of discipleship but rather the cost of false fundamentals,” writes Rachel Held Evans in her book, “Evolving in Monkey Town: How a Girl Who Knew All the Answers Learned to Ask the Questions.” “It’s about identity, understanding who I am, whose I am and what are my fundamental beliefs related to the creator of the universe,” Garber says.
The struggle This was the case for Brit-
tany Conley, 27, a student at Eastern Mennonite Seminary. She began attending an evangelical church as a teenager. Her doubts began not long after starting seminary classes, when “why we believe what we believe didn’t make sense.” Theology, she says, “tries to make logic out of something that’s not logical.” So, she began deconstructing her faith and everything that confounded her. “When you question the church traditions and orthodoxy, you also question the God that it’s all about,” she says. The struggle is very real, but Conley found that, in attempting to fit God into her church’s doctrines, she lost sight of who God is. Biblical examples abound. In Genesis 32: 22-32, Jacob — a father of the Jewish, Christian and Muslim faiths
You’re invited!
@ the Turner Pavilion
Bloomfest JULY 14
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— has an all-night wrestling match with God. In the morning, God changes Jacob’s name to Israel, which means, “he struggles with God.”
Trust in God At the time of her struggle, Conley was attending RISE, so she was not alone. She was part of a community of people who were OK with her questions. Garber says that’s important. “It can be scary,” Garber says. “It should always be done in the context of community, because there are others who can say, ‘Yeah, I wonder about that, too.’ ” Retired minister Kathryn Pigg says it’s important, when a friend or family member is going through a faith crisis, to “just be with them.” “The most helpful thing another person can do in that situation is listen, but not listen just to come up with a solution,” says Pigg, who lives in Bridgewater. “Trust that God is already working in that person’s life.” Pigg advises making positive statements to a struggling friend. It’s important to avoid saying things that negate the other’s feelings or discount their pain, such as, “You shouldn’t feel that way.” Rather, tell them you love them, that you’re there to listen and that God is with them. “I constantly tell people that questioning is healthy and beautiful,” Garber says. “It can draw people into a much deeper relationship with God and much broader understanding of who God is.”
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your TABLE
Days of salads Article by Samantha Cole
We have the freedom to change our minds, so why are we crunching on the same old thing?
Lettuce, onions,
tomatoes ... versions of burger toppings! By assembling a salad based on what you’re craving each day, you’ll pull together ingredients that can complement, or combat, whatever comes your way. Here, Erin Shehane, marketing and owner services coordinator at the Friendly City Food Co-op, and David Engel, owner and franchisee of Harrisonburg’s Salad Creations, help guide your fork in the right direction with a little inspiration.
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Salads don’t have to be boring, chopped-up
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Goodbye, boring. Make salads with pep! MONDAY
Start smart
Toss a handful of omega-3 rich walnuts and nitrate-heavy roasted beets over romaine lettuce for a savory power salad. “Beets have been getting press lately for aiding in performance of physical activity,” Shehane says: great for days when you need to be on your A-game.
TUESDAY
Speedy chef
Running out the door to a morning meeting? Engel suggests this chef combo for prep the night before: chopped iceberg and romaine lettuce, onions, croutons, a hard-boiled egg, diced tomatoes and ham. Or, pre-cook and mix together Shehane’s quinoa salad (see recipe).
WEDNESDAY Slump buster Freshen up the week with light plantbased proteins: edamame, spicy marinated tofu and chickpeas over fresh spinach make a wake-me-up salad perfect for getting over the mid-week hump.
THURSDAY Come on, Friday! Wake up from the daily grind with antioxidant-rich blueberries or raspberries. Combine with sliced almonds for brainboosting riboflavin and L-carnitine; nutrient-rich spinach will hold up to all that hearty flavor.
FRIDAY Colorful, creative Ring in the weekend without falling off the wagon. Caramelized pecans, goat cheese and strawberries over spinach lends enough nutritional goodness to stave off guilt and cravings at the same time.
SATURDAY Treat Yourself Shehane and Engel both suggest taco salad for a zesty change of pace. “You could even get fancy and fry some tortilla bowls — otherwise, you can do chili and cheese and peppers, olives, onions, salsa, sour cream, lime and avocado on top of lettuce. Top it with crispy baked tortilla slices or serve it with tortilla chips,” Shehane says.
SUNDAY Family affair Engel suggests chopping up a crowdpleasing chipotle barbecue chicken salad. Easy, inexpensive ingredients, including barbeque sauce, diced tomatoes, fried onions, ranch, black beans, corn, tortilla chips and romaine lettuce make even picky eaters happy. While the kids are helping tear lettuce leaves and toss black beans and corn, Dad’s ready at the grill for the chicken.
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Honey-Roasted Carrot and Quinoa Salad Ingredients
Directions
1 cup quinoa 1/4 cup olive oil, plus more for baking sheet 2 tablespoons apple cider 2 tablespoons honey Freshly ground black pepper 3 medium carrots (about 1/2 pounds) peeled, thinly sliced on a diagonal (12-15 pieces) 1 tablespoon apple cider vinegar 2 teaspoons finely grated lemon zest 1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice 1/2 cup pickled beets, cut into matchsticks 2 tablespoons coarsely chopped fresh dill 4 ounces goat cheese, crumbled
Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Cook quinoa according to package directions, until tender. Fluff with a fork and transfer to a large bowl; let cool. Lightly coat a large rimmed baking sheet with oil. Whisk cider and honey in a large bowl to blend; season with salt and pepper. Add carrots and toss to coat. Transfer to prepared baking sheet, spreading into a single layer, and roast until tender, about 15 minutes. Let cool. Whisk vinegar, lemon zest and lemon juice in a small bowl. Gradually whisk in 1/4 cup oil until blended. Season to taste with salt and pepper. Add beets, dill, carrots, and vinaigrette to quinoa mixture and toss to coat. Top with goat cheese and serve. Serves four.
Above was adapted from a recipe, which originated in Bon AppĂŠtit, on blog Love and Olive Oil.
Favorite Broccoli Salad Ingredients 2 bunches broccoli florets 1/3 cup peanuts 1/3 cup raisins 3/4 to 1 pound crisply fried bacon 1/2 cup thinly sliced onion Directions Combine all five ingredients and set aside. Ingredients
Poppy Seed Dressing
1/2 cup sugar 1 teaspoon salt 1/3 cup vinegar 1 teaspoon finely chopped onions 1 teaspoon dry mustard 1 cup puritan oil or veggie oil 1 1/2 tablespoons poppy seeds Directions Combine first five ingredients and mix in blender. Slowly add oil while blending. Pour in container and add poppy seeds. Chill two hours or longer. Pour over salad just before serving. SOURCE: Erin Shehane, marketing and owner services coordinator at the Friendly City Food Co-op
Call Alicia Rimel, Bloom editor, at 574-6276
in FULL BLOOM
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This café owner’s small-time venture ‘took on a life of its own’ seven years ago. Now, with two stores and a recent duo of business accolades, customers are lining up for A BOWL OF SOMETHING yummy.
Katrina Didot shows us why Article by Samantha Cole Photography by Holly Marcus
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simple is GOOD
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A
OPPOSITE: Katrina Didot owns A Bowl of Good cafés — one on Mt. Clinton Pike and another at the opposite end of Harrisonburg. In January, Katrina was named the Harrisonburg-Rockingham’s Chamber of Commerce’s 2012 Entrepreneur of the Year; she received the University of Tayloe Murphy Resilience Award Sept. 12, 2012. TOP & ABOVE: Katrina, who with her husband Ernie is raising two children, Luther, 16, and Eva, 14, prepares spaghetti for a marketing photo shoot.
few moments after her husband and teenage children, owner Katrina Didot breezes into A Bowl of Good’s Port Republic Road location and immediately starts moving tables to make room for the band setting up to play. She’s on a month-long sabbatical, but it’s Friday night, and as she puts it to a watching customer: “It’s about to get rowdy in here!” They both laugh. Katrina has a way of speaking to family and strangers with the same easy familiarity. “You staying?” Spring 2013
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‘It took on a life of its own’ While a guitar twanged and fiddle sweetly whined, the rest of the Didots’ extended family, visiting from a few miles to a few hours away, trickled in and hunkered down over coconut soups and piled-high nachos. Katrina greeted guests from a spot at her family’s dinner table, as if waving to old friends. The Port Road café, opened in 2012, may be the most recent inspiration for her latest honors — Harrisonburg-Rockingham’s Chamber of Commerce 2012 Entrepreneur of the Year and University of Tayloe Murphy Resilience Award — but its success is the end result of some doubt-filled nights Opening a second eatery, at the opposite end of Harrisonburg from the first on Mt. Clinton Pike, came at a rough economic time. “There was just a lot to worry about,” Katrina says. “So, it was a lot of me being up in the middle of the night handing things over to God.” Seven years ago, A Bowl of Good began as a niche at Kate’s Natural Products, a way to make extra money after Ka-
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Katrina and Ernie Didot met in Haiti in 1991 after she turned his eye with a joke. They moved to Guatemala in 1995, where they lived for eight years before returning to the States in 2003.
trina saw that her social work vocation was taking a toll on her own young family. Thinking of it as a temporary, flexible endeavor, she served up big “bowls of good,” as her husband Ernie coined them, inspired by the wholesome, flavorful dishes encountered during their international travels. “It took on a life of its own,” she recalled. When she made the choice to move on from the café, Katrina realized how devoted her client base had already become in a year and a half. So, A Bowl of Good moved to selling soups and bread at the Harrisonburg Farmers Market. Occasionally, bread-hungry Bowl groupies could also find Katrina multiplying loaves for the downtown masses from the back of a van in the Runner’s Corner parking lot across from Rosetta Stone.
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The Didots fell in love with the Guatemalan culture during their time there, a fact most evident in who they brought home with them — their son, Luther, 16, of the Kekchi people, and daughter Eva, 14, of the Poqomchi.
Katrina calls her husband of 21 years, Ernie, “a very creative person” and “a visionary.” He works in video and media production.
International tastes, local ingredients In 2009, the first storefront opened on Mount Clinton Pike, a collaboration with Gift and Thrift. Behind this location grows a “Holy
Trinity” of herbs — basil, cilantro and mint — which make their way onto the menu, along with a lot of summer produce from the Shenandoah Valley Produce Auction. “It is clear that A Bowl of Good’s vi-
brant menu was inspired by Katrina’s travels and, while each menu item reflects flavors and dishes from around the world, seasonally whenever possible, many of the ingredients [are] locallysourced, coming from local farms, artisans or the restaurant’s very own herb garden,” notes Katey Warren, of Harrisonburg Tourism. “I admire how Katrina was able to fuse both an international and local mindset to bring globally-inspired meals with local ingredients to Harrisonburg.” “We strive for excellence,” Katrina says, in a booth at the Mt. Clinton location. She picks a little at a hairline crack in a table tile; inspects a smudge on the window, laughing at her own distractibility. “I always see areas where we can be more excellent, but I have to step back from that ... I do have to rein it in.” She never considered herself a creative-type, but everything — from the richly colored café décor to the enthusiasm she brings when she walks into one of the restaurants — suggests otherwise. “She is a woman of great vision,” says General Manager Benjamin Bergey. “I have learned about the importance of a clear vision and allowing that vision and the business’ mission to guide our decisions ... about creating a work culture of trust, fun and meaning.” Her “endless ideas” for the company’s, customers’ and employees’ happiness include funding locally-created tables for the new location; a shipping
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service called “Send Them a Meal,” raising money for a girls’ school in Kenya, and internship experiences for college students. “It’s a product of living with a very creative person, who’s a visionary,” she says, of her husband Ernie, who works in video and media production. “He’s been a visionary for our 21 years of marriage ... this is a good environment for us to be in. It’s spun a lot of creativity.”
‘This is a great story’ Hunger, hospitality and some Haitian mischief brought the Didots together in 1991. A brochure came into Ernie’s hands with Katrina beaming in a photo from Haiti. He happened to be packed for Haiti himself, bound for an internship with the Educational Concerns for Hunger Organization. Having tracked down where her rooftop garden grew, he set out to find her. “Psst, blanc,” the locals whispered at Ernie while he walked in Leogane. “By the end of the day, it’s driving you crazy; everybody does it,” Katrina says. When a little Haitian friend of Katrina’s spotted the white man wandering in the street, she ambushed him. “Psst! Blanc!” Katrina hissed at the stranger. He whipped around, nearly on his last nerve, she recalls. “I had just made rice and beans with a fish sauce — he
came in and ate, and that was it,” she says. “Do you take honey in your tea?” she asks now in their Harrisonburg home. She dips a spoonful of honey from their backyard hive into mugs made by her brother-in-law. The Didots moved to Guatemala in 1995. Working for the first three years with Food for the Hungry, and then staying for the next five to produce didactic videos in the Mayan languages, Katrina and Ernie fostered a love for the culture. It manifests in every aspect of their lives — most notably in who they brought back with them to the States: their son Luther, 16, and of the Kekchi people, and daughter Eva, who is 14 and Poqomchi. Over dinner on Port Republic, Katrina told the story of their adoption. Her oldest sister Linda Booker leaned in; “This is a great story.” One Guatemalan day, Katrina asked village hospital staff an innocent question: Were many children abandoned there? “I was just curious, I didn’t say we wanted to adopt or anything,” she said. Six months passed. Then, one day, a note on her office desk told of a healthy five-day-old boy. “Two hours later, we had a baby,” Katrina said. The nuns at the nearby convent handed Luther, wrapped in rags, over to the Didots as his legal guardians. “We took him home and didn’t know what to put him in!” For her children, Katrina wishes lives as vibrant as their own cultures. “I want them to be able to develop their gifts and to be in jobs where they feel confident and their creativity never stops.”
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“I think Katrina’s greatest gift to our community is her family,” says Aubrey Spears, pastor of the Church of the Incarnation. “She and Ernie, Eva, Luther ... they are a tremendous gift to this community.” Here, the Didots gather family and friends around a sturdy, eight-seat pine table, a Mennonite homestead staple.
she said, laughing. Ernie grabbed a pacifier, one bottle and some diapers from the store, and they laid him in a blanketlined suitcase. Nearly two years later, another doctor tapped their shoulders about a baby girl left by a midwife. “We said ... OK!” And Eva came into their lives. “I think Katrina’s greatest gift to our community is her family,” said Aubrey Spears, pastor of the Church of the Incarnation. “She and Ernie, Eva, Luther ... they are a tremendous gift to this community.” For their children, Katrina wishes lives as vibrant as their own cultures. “I want them to be able to develop their gifts, and to be in jobs where they feel confident and their creativity never stops.”
Around the table At supper, Eva chatted with her uncle about politics and with her grandmother about theater. Luther, a young man of few words, was content with the nachos and music. Katrina’s sister and evening manager Kim Hunsberger slipped in between family members to gather dishes and share a laugh. Katrina’s own childhood environment was also a constant buzz of activity. When she and her husband returned from Guatemala in 2003, they sought
the same familial openness with their American community. Now, they share the basement-level of their home with a Kenyan couple and frequently host block parties and informal gatherings. “I think the U.S. culture is a lonely culture,” Katrina says. “I think a lot of our problems are wrapped around loneliness and not having the accountability of a community.” Katrina has a heart for immigrants,
Spears says — especially when their own homes are thousands of miles away — and the grace to treat them as friends, not projects. “I think I feel more comfortable with internationals than with ... ” she pauses the thought. “ ‘My’ people,” she finishes, with a chuckle. Spears, with whom the Didots and several other families helped establish the Church of the Incarnation
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in Harrisonburg, makes a distinction between “entertaining” and the family’s welcoming nature. “Hospitality is saying, ‘Come into the rhythm of my life,’ ” he says. “It’s a genuine hospitality of the hearts; their heart is open to other people.” The pastor calls this a gift. “They’re really good at finding natural and comfortable ways to gather people together, to experience the joy and human-affirming gifts of conversations,” Spears says. At 45 years old, Katrina can’t see herself settling into quiet retirement; rather, she’d like to continue finding ways to weave her social-work background into her business. “That just charges me,” she says. “Where do you settle?” she still wonders of the “American dream” lifestyle. “As I get older, I feel more of a sense of not needing to have control ... I just have to turn it over and release it to a God who cares for us.” Sometimes, that means being awakened at night by doubt. “On the other hand,” she says, “it’s when we are the most vulnerable, and when everything looks the biggest and darkest and meanest that we either hold on and resolve that ‘I’m gonna solve it,’ or say, ‘This is bigger than I am, and God, I’m gonna need some help here.’ “And through faith, ... it comes about.”
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Column by Christina Kunkle, RN and CTA, Certified Life and Wellness Coach
Mirror Mirror To love others, you have to love yourself.
“W
hat’cha doing mommy?” my 7-year-old asked. “I’m sending my friends a message about how important it is to love ourselves, so we have even more love to give everyone we care about.” “Oh, let me help!” she chirped.
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“My primary relationship is with myself — all others are mirrors of it. As I learn to love myself, I automatically receive the love and appreciation that I desire from others. If I am commited to myself and to living my truth, I will attract others with equal commitment. My willingness to be intimate with my own deep feelings creates the space for intimacy with another.” — Shakti Gawain, author A few minutes later, she was back holding up a melt-my-heart drawing that said “I love Me!” on one side and “Believe!” on the other. Let me ask you a question: Of all the love and encouragement you have so freely offered to those around you, have you offered yourself any of that same caring attention yet today? When was the last time you looked at your own reflection in the mirror and said “I love and believe in you?” If this sounds funny, or perhaps a little self-centered, I get it. Many of us feel that focusing on ourselves is selfish. Yet, we are taught that if we help enough people get what they want, eventually we will get what we want. So, we shower TLC on everyone else, often at the expense of our own self-care, waiting with expectation that “someday” it will finally be our turn. You hope those around you realize that the ways you show kindness and support, whether pitching in to make dinner, listening to problems or offering encouragement, are the ways you yourself want and need to be loved. In healthy relationships, there is mutual give-and-take, our love comes back around and we receive the care we crave. Other times, we may find that our efforts go unnoticed, are taken for granted or begin to rob us of quality sleep, peace of mind and the strength we need to tackle our own challenges.
Look into your eyes ...
Tend to ... yourself
portunity to turn my own reality around. I began studying, practicing and applying self-esteem-enhancing techniques and philosophies, eventually teaching them to others as well. My painful realization was a gift that set me firmly on the path toward my life’s purpose.
When you catch yourself thinking “it must be nice!” or “what about me?” it’s likely you are feeling resentful of the time and attention you are giving others and not giving yourself. If this rings true, these feelings are a blessing: Your gift is the knowledge that your self-esteem needs tending to; then you can take steps toward doing just that. This realization hit me like a ton of bricks back in the 80s, when my counselor helped me dig deep enough to expose the root cause of my eating disorder, which was a complete and total lack of selflove. With low confidence and an abundance of self-doubt, I had become a people-pleaser. I was trying to gain others’ approval by appearing perfect, having a fit body, never expressing anger or negativity and being an indispensable caretaker. The problem with this approach is that no amount of outside approval can fill a void created by our own sense of lacking. When we feel empty, we tend to suck the energy from others in a desperate attempt to be filled. But love is an inside job — and the irony is, in order to receive it, we have to already have it. Once I was given this gift of self-discovery, I embraced the op-
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Because healthy relationships begin within, I invite you to take an honest look at the relationship you have with yourself. In recovery, I learned an exercise based on the work of Louise Hay, author of “You Can Heal Your Life,” which I will now pass on to you: Close your eyes and imagine you are looking into your own mirrored image. Look deeply into your own eyes and say to yourself, “I love you and accept you just the way you are.” Watch for the reaction in your mirrored image. Pay attention to how you feel saying and receiving this message of self-love. What was your reaction to this exercise? Did it feel good? Did it feel uncomfortable? Were you willing to try it?
A personal connection As the saying goes, “the eyes are the window to the soul.” When we talk to other people, if they don’t establish eye contact, we often think something is wrong or that they are hiding something. We don’t feel connected. This may sound silly to some of you, but I suggest doing the mirror exercise in a real mirror every morning and evening. Look into your own eyes, tell yourself what you like, love, admire and appreciate about yourself. This is an amazingly powerful, yet simple, thing to do. After all, we are already accustomed to inspecting our superficial features — weight, hair, clothes, or complexion — and being critical of what we see reflected. But, few of us ever look into our own eyes with the warmth of a friend. Continue this exercise every day until kindness becomes a habit.
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Here are 3 reasons why you deserve your own loving, supportive attention:
1
2
3
You can’t give what you don’t have: As we all know, at the heart of truly successful relationships is deep respect, love and acceptance for the other person. Because we can’t give away something we don’t have, we must first cultivate these qualities within ourselves. Only then can we genuinely offer these gifts to family, friends, clients or customers. Without a healthy dose of self-esteem, we may become emotionally dependent, try to manipulate others or allow abuse to occur. You can’t teach what you don’t know: We want to raise happy children who have a healthy dose of self-esteem, yet we sometimes put ourselves last and are self-critical. Let’s give ourselves the same support, kindness and grace that we would give a close friend, and teach by our own example how to love and accept — even when things aren’t perfect.
You can’t deal with what you don’t acknowledge: In order to catch the early warning signs of physical, mental or emotional imbalance, be present in your body, paying close attention to your inner dialogue. If there’s a health concern that you’ve been avoiding, a boundary that needs to be set or a change that needs to take place, first own the problem, then resolve it quickly and lovingly.
The sad truth is — even if there is love all around us — if we do not love ourselves, we may not notice, feel or trust that it is there. Low self-esteem is not an attractive trait, and you can’t fool energy: If you don’t like yourself, your words and actions will leak this truth to those around you, pushing them away or attracting those who want to control you. When you venture out to meet new people or create stronger relationships with those you already know, feeling good about yourself always puts you in a more powerful position. So, let’s crank up our self-care, cultivating greater self-compassion, beginning now! Would somebody please pass the mirror? Christina Kunkle, RN and CTA Certified Life and Wellness Coach, is founder of Synergy Life and Wellness Coaching, LLC, creator of the “Synergy Success Circle” and “SOAR,” a Heart-Centered Leadership Development Program. She helps busy women prevent burnout by promoting bounce-back resilience to stay focused, positive and excited about the challenges of work and life. To learn more, visit her website at www.synergylifeandwellnesscoaching.com or call 540-746-5206.
your HEALTH
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Doctors recommend parents of both girls and boys begin thinking about Human Papillomavirus vaccination when their child is as young as 11 years old.
Ignoring your child’s sexual future could one day compromise their health.
Millions are infected with HPV each year.
Ready to talk? Article by Samantha Cole Photography by photos.com
I
f there was a vaccine — a simple series of shots — to prevent cancer, would you take it? Would you give it to your children? As the second leading cause of cancer deaths in women, cervical cancer is most often brought on by the Human Papillomavirus, or HPV.
FACT: 20 million Americans are infected Twenty million Americans are currently infected with HPV, and 6 million are added to that number every year, according to the Center for Disease control. There are about 100 types of the disease — many causing warts, but a half-dozen causing cancer, and of that handful, two are the deadliest and most preventable.
FACT: HPV is the most common STD in the world “It’s the most commonly sexually transmitted disease both in this country and the world,” according to Dr. Leslie Burt at Harrisonburg Pediatrics. “So, we’re not talking about something that very rarely happens; and we now have a vaccine that can directly prevent a form of cancer.”
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Eliminating risks Doctors at Harrisonburg Pediatrics introduce their patients to the idea of getting vaccinated as early as 11 years old — the recommended age for both girls and boys. It can be administered through age 26.
FACT: Start vaccine as young as 11. The vaccine isn’t effective unless given in a full series: a dose at the outset, followed by another one to two months later, and finished six months after the first dose. Although both commercially available vaccines, Gardasil and Cervarix, have proven safe for years, parents are sometimes still hesitant to give it to their children, says Dr. Douglas Larsen, Shenandoah health district director of the Virginia Department of Health.
FACT: Shot must be taken in full series. At an age when a child is just beginning to learn about the birds and the bees, protecting against an STD is far from a family’s mind. But even if a girl remains a virgin until marriage, says Larsen, her future husband may have been infected and never showed symptoms. Once the risks of opting out of the vaccine are explained, Larsen says, about half of young people agree to take it.
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As they mature, the risk for coming in contact with the virus shoots from between 10-15 percent in high school, to 85 percent for college coeds with even one sexual contact, Burt says. Some colleges strongly recommend vaccination, but it isn’t required yet.
Not just for girls The once-held belief that preventing HPV was a woman’s problem is now falling away. As carriers of the virus, boys are equally encouraged to protect themselves.
FACT: After learning risks, 1/2 take it. With an increased prevalence of penile, anal and oropharyngeal cancers related to HPV in both men and women, doctors say it’s hard to argue against the benefits of vaccination. And because the most dangerous, cancer-causing kinds of the virus are silently transmitted, the more vaccinated, the better.
FACT: Virus can be silently transmitted. Larsen says he encourages his own children and grandchildren to be vaccinated while young. His best endorsement? “It’s one of the greatest breakthroughs in medical history,” he says. “A vaccine that prevents cancer.”
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your FITNESS
Sometimes, the hardest part of working out is getting in the gym door ... Article by Torie Foster For some, “it’s a security thing,” said Val Holmes, owner of Gold’s Gym on Lucy Drive. “It’s one thing, when you’re 18, and you’re looking great and you’re active already — there’s no issue.” This preconceived notion that everyone in a gym will be in much better shape is just one of the things that can keep us from working out. Life can also find a way of sabotaging a steady exercise plan. Besides, says Holmes, “no matter what kind of shape you’re in, for the most, there’s always going to be someone who’s worse.”
Set realistic goals, a routine Sue George, owner of Shenandoah Yoga on South Main Street, stresses the importance of setting realistic goals. Doing this means “you’ll have a much better chance of achieving them,” she said. Try starting with a yoga
class once each week, rather than every day. Judith Weaver, a licensed professional counselor in Harrisonburg, suggests being gentle with your body, especially if you haven’t worked out in a while. “These muscles haven’t been used — pay attention to the pain,” she said. “Some [pain] will be very normal.” Once you establish a routine, whether it’s the best workout time or a favorite class, Holmes said, stick to it. “You want to make this part of your life, like brushing your teeth or going to church,” she said. Just be careful that your workout doesn’t take up too much of your time, Holmes said. “You want to fit this in as part of your life, not all of your life,” she said. Accept ahead of time that you will sometimes lapse in your routine, Holmes explained, but do not beat yourself up if that happens. “The first thing to realize is that life is going to get in
“You want to make this part of your life, like brushing your teeth or going to church.” — Val Homes, Gold’s gym
(they won’t
POINT!)
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Conquer your ‘gym-timidation’
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the way; [do not] get discouraged,” Holmes said. Weave says forgiveness is essential. “Be kind to yourself.”
Safety in numbers Going with a friend can help calm gym anxiety, said Holmes: Plan a time to meet or go together. “When you have someone waiting on you, or depending on you to be there, you’re much more likely to show up,” she said. Both Gold’s Gym and Shenandoah Yoga offer group classes. Attending sessions such as these requires making a commitment to specific meeting times and puts you in touch with people with similar goals. “Human beings are fundamentally social animals,” George said. “A lot of people derive pleasure in spending time with other people and sharing experiences ... ” If you need further guidance, consider signing up with a personal trainer or for private classes. You can train individually or with a few friends. Weaver likes to keep her workouts fresh and appealing by mixing indoor and outdoor activities. “Giving yourself a variety of different exercises keeps you from getting bored,” said Weaver, whose workouts include aerobics, weight training, yoga, bike riding and kayaking. Most importantly, say experts, stay focused on yourself — not on those around you — and find the routine that works for you.
To advertise your business or service in the next issue of Bloom, contact Kim Potter at (540) 574-6224 or kpotter@dnronline.com, or Sara Schu at (540) 574-6227 or sschu@dnronline.com
The
joy
your VIEWPOINT
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of downsizing Article by Alicia Rimel Photography by Sherry Rimel
Y
es, I admit: Moving from a two-bedroom, twobath rental home to a 28-foot camper may seem like a questionable decision. Alright, a bit unhinged. And I cannot deny that dropping a sink-island-cabinet combo and modest dining nook into your already small living room makes things pretty tight. Such a move is not for everyone, which I discovered when I began to float the idea to friends, family and colleagues, but, I assure you, our decision was based in reality. Cold, hard, sometimes cramped, reality.
TOP: My mother captured this photo of deer gathering near our camper. ABOVE: Six months ago, my boyfriend Branden and I decided to downsize by moving into a fifth-wheeler. (Foreground: That flash of white is one of our cats, Violet Montgomery. She’s the quiet type, who loves to sun herself on hay bales).
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Why would anyone do this? Among the many reasons to take the plunge, one was so tempting, so ridiculously seductive, it outshined all others: It's cheap. When we realized our monthly expenditures would total less than what we were currently paying in rent alone, we were done. This is not a move made for life. We plan to stay in the camper while we sock away the down payment for a permanent — albeit also small — home of a "normal" size. Until then, there are fewer financial worries. And that's reason enough for me.
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Some more of my mother’s beautiful shots. LEFT: A brilliant blue-and-green dragonfly. BELOW LEFT: A stock-still praying mantis, a common sight.
The good, the bad and the FREEZING There's nothing I hate; nothing at all, that I regret about our decision. That doesn't mean it hasn’t been a labor of love. Showers are ... interesting; balancing sleepily on one foot while scrubbing, racing to beat the hot water before it sputters out. We've gotten it down to a science. I choose to hurry and use the heat sparingly, while Branden turns off the water while he soaps up. Different strokes. Similarly, we have to conserve the propane that heats our "house on wheels". Like most couples, we used to fight over the thermostat, me inching it up a degree when he wasn't looking, him telling me there's only so much he can take off. Now, when it's
cold, there's no question: Bundle up, or shut up. One of the things I've had to get used to is the lack of storage. It's definitely not for the faint of heart: Space is tight, but a happy result of such a problem, is less clutter, and less useless junk. There are no dinner parties in our future, but we can comfortably seat three on the couch and two at the table. Guests will have acclimate to moving in shifts, but that comes a lot easier than you'd think. Thanks to my better half, our antenna picks up 10 free overthe-air digital stations, which are channeled through the best-ofthe-cheapest television and sound system money can buy. We have a large collection of — thankfully space-friendly — DVDs and books with which we can curl up in the evening.
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And, when we are in the mood for slower-paced entertainment, we can open our large picture windows to see what nature has going on. Her constant soundtrack is louder out here, or maybe we have a better opportunity to hear it, but it’s comforting, cleansing in a way. Branden and I have moved a lot in our seven years together. But, I've never felt more at home or free from worry.
You call this roughing it? For those to whom this is preposterous — people who likely also have an aversion to camping or adventure — I have this question: Why is this such a leap? I have family members who grew up with no running water and a springhouse for storing and preserving food. They had to chop wood, milk cattle and, sometimes, chop heads off chickens.
Are we above being a little inconvenienced if the result is peace? A bit of autonomy? And, I get it. It is 2013. We have made these advances and they should be taken advantage of. I don't know much, but I do know that our pace exhausts me. Not to mention that it seems unsustainable. I believe we've grown so used to so much that we've forgotten the beauty of simplicity. Whenever we feel as if we're "lacking" in some way, which has incidentally gotten less and less in the six months that Branden and I have lived here, we think of those in other countries who drink and bathe in the same water that gathers in stagnant pools around their huts. We live like royalty in our little camper in the woods. And being here has done nothing but help us see that more clearly.
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