Bloom

Bloom celebrating Valley women

Words A Way with Poet Angela Carter talks about finding fulfillment.

Fall 2015

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INSIDE BLOOM

your FAMILY We ask about your family traditions around the holidays.

page 11

16 A crusade against stigma.

Poet Angela Carter puts her pen and voice to work, raising awareness of mental illness, abuse. your STYLE Comfortable fabrics and 1970s trends move fashion forward. page 12

your TIME Christina Kunkle offers simple strategies for getting things done.

eaves rustle in the breeze as the scent of wood smoke lingers in the air. The nights are getting cooler and the days growing short. Another fall has found us. And with autumn’s arrival, the holidays are soon to follow.

While many families gather to celebrate around this time of year, the individual traditions can vary widely —— ranging from late-night Mass to grilling on the porch. We asked Valley residents and visitors to detail some of the customs of their annual get-togethers (on page 11).

Food also takes a central role this time of year as friends and families gather around the table to share stories and meals. Local chefs and restaurateurs give us a “taste” of the holidays in different cultures (on page 6).

This time of year gives us occasion to catch up with loved ones, but it can be a struggle striking the right balance between commitments to family, friends and work.

Local experts say that while difficult at times, making room for a social life has numerous rewards (on page 5).

Bloom

your TABLE Local foodies offer a “taste” of the holidays in different cultures.

page 6

page 14

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your CAREER Experts recommend finding the right balance between work and play. page 5

Fall 2015

Between work and social commitments, it’s a wonder we find any time left to tuck away for ourselves. Personal goals and projects can often fall to the side as our social calendar fills up. Christina Kunkle offers some tips to tame procrastination (on page 14).

Lastly, a special thanks to city poet Angela Carter for talking to us about the tough topics (on page 16).

According to the U.S. government’s website on mental health, MentalHealth.gov, 1 in 5 adults in the U.S. has experienced a mental health issue and 1 in 10 has experienced a period of major depression. Also, approximately 1.8 million adolescents in the U.S. have been victims of sexual assault, according to the U.S. Department of Justice’s National Sex Offender public website.

With so many in the U.S. affected, it’s important to continue to spread awareness about these issues. Let’s keep the conversation going.

Thanks for reading and keep blooming!

Kyleen Kendall, Editor

Bloom Staf f

Kyleen Kendall, editor

Noah Clark, staff writer Matt Gonzales, staff writer Aleda Johnson, staff writer

Christina Kunkle, columnist Contributor

Bloom is a publication of Rockingham Publishing Co., Inc. Copyright © 2015 Rockingham Publishing Co., Inc. 231 S. Liberty St. Harrisonburg, VA 22801 For advertising information, call 540-574-6220.

your CAREER Lauren Reynolds of Harrisonburg works on a laptop at Pale Fire Brewing in downtown Harrisonburg. Making room for both your professional and social life can be difficult to manage, but according to local psychologists and career counselors, there are tremendous benefits to doing so.

Finding the right combination

I

Balancing work and play can be challenging, but experts say the benefits are worth the effort

ARTICLE BY MATT GONZALES / PHOTO ILLUSTRATION BY NIKKI FOX

n a once-fractured, nowrecovering economy, snagging your dream job can be just that — a dream. It is something that doesn’t necessarily lend itself to reality, unless you either get lucky or build a hefty amount of experience.

Many recent college graduates or fellow twentysomethings fall into the latter category, working as many jobs or internships as they

can in order to qualify for their forever-job, a strenuous undertaking that requires much time and effort.

Those who do balance multiple jobs, or consistently work overtime, will likely make a facetious attempt to describe their social life by answering a question with a question: “What social life?”

It can be difficult to make room for both your professional

and social life, but according to local psychologists and career counselors, there are tremendous benefits to doing so.

Making connections

Joann H. Henderson, a selfemployed Harrisonburg-based counselor and life coach, says there are advantages to an active social life, including a greater sense of connection with your

peers, an expanded sense of identity, and an increased feeling of lightheartedness. Laughter is a constant reminder that “life is not always so serious,” said Henderson.

“Our differing personality types have a lot to do with the amount of social life we need outside of our work settings,” said See COMBINATION, Page 30

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your TABLE

Keeping up

Traditions N

ARTICLE BY NOAH CLARK PHOTOGRAPHY BY NIKKI FOX

o matter the culture, when it comes to the holidays, food and drinks take a central role.

Whether you are standing around a fire as a pig turns on a spit in Serbia before heading to

Mass, sipping a coquito on the beaches of Puerto Rico or munching on a hangwa cookie in South Korea, one thing is certain: Food and the holidays go hand in hand.

See TRADITIONS, Page 8

Cultures around the world embrace the holidays with their own traditional food and drinks. Popular in Germany during the holidays and sometimes given as a gift, stollen is a predecessor of fruitcake. In the United States, eggnog may be the drink of choice, but in Puerto Rico, a similar drink called a coquito is enjoyed.

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Fall 2015

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A strip of marzipan sometimes added to represent baby Jesus Traditions

FROM PAGE 6

Germany

A predecessor of fruitcake called stollen is popular in Germany during the holidays and sometimes is given as a gift.

The bread is folded in on itself and is meant to represent the baby Jesus being swaddled, said Tassie Pippert, certified chef and lecturer for hospitality management in the James Madison University School of Hospitality.

The bread is baked, dusted with sugar and wrapped up and set aside for two weeks before it is cut.

Most of the ingredients in the bread, in addition to milk, butter and flour, are various dried fruits and fruit peels. At times, a strip of marzipan (a See TRADITIONS, Page 9

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Photo by Nikki Fox

Tassie Pippert, certified chef and lecturer for hospitality management in the James Madison University School of Hospitality, dusts a loaf of stollen with powdered sugar. Pippert says the bread is folded in on itself to represent the baby Jesus being swaddled.

Traditions

FROM PAGE 8

confection made of crushed almonds, sugar and egg whites) was added in the middle to represent the actual child.

Fruit was an expensive commodity until the early twentieth century when the first refrigeration trucks began transporting perishable goods. Depending on where you lived, certain fruits — especially citrus — were hard to come by, which is why they were candied and preserved, Pippert said.

“These holiday traditions are traditions because people couldn’t afford them all of the time,” Pippert said. “They were trying to do something special for their family and friends.”

In addition, people didn’t have the funds needed to buy gifts, so almost all gifts were homemade

items, such as food.

The gifts were either related to a person’s religion or indicated that they were giving the most expensive thing they could afford.

In addition to celebrating religious holidays such as Christmas, people also celebrate the harvest with the most notable German holiday being Oktoberfest, Pippert said.

Many of the foods consumed during the celebrations are rich in nature. A black forest cake, or Schwarzle Kuchen, is popular from the fall through the end of the holiday season in January, Pippert said.

The dessert is composed of layers of chocolate cake with thick cream infused with Kirschwasser, a cherry brandy, in between the layers and topped with brandied cherries.

For a main course during the

holidays, pork is a mainstay, Pippert said. Usually the pork is accompanied by sauerkraut or something similar to add extra flavor.

My brother cooks a whole pig in his yard.

It’s cooked over coals [while] being rotated on a spit. He starts cooking the pig a few days before Christmas.

“

Serbia

Diane Roll, owner of Mama’s Caboose Deli, catering and food truck in Dayton, said her grandparents immigrated to the U.S. from Yugoslavia at the turn of the twentieth century. They settled in southwestern Pennsylvania, near Pittsburgh, which is where Roll grew up.

Every year, the family celebrates Serbian Christmas, which is held on or around Jan. 7.

Along with the differing date come special foods.

“My brother cooks a whole pig in his yard,” Roll said. “It’s cooked over coals [while] being rotated on a spit. He starts cooking the pig a

Diane Roll, owner of Mama’s Caboose Deli

few days before Christmas. A bunch of people show up, you drink beer and watch the pig spin around.”

The pig cools in a basement on the afternoon of Christmas Eve while family members keep another tradition: fasting.

“One thing we [can] eat is fish cooked in oil with salt and pepper in the oven. There’s also a mixture of kidney beans, sauerkraut with burnt onions in a soup,” Roll said.

See TRADITIONS, Page 10

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cicvara, Roll said.

‘Whoever gets the “It’s similar to grits,” she said. “It has corn meal dime supposedly instead of grits and is mixed with sour cream and milk. has good luck None of the little kids like it, but you eat it for good luck. It’s one of for the next those dishes that you don’t enjoy as a child, but when you get older year’

Traditions

FROM PAGE 9

The family then attends a Christmas Eve church service, which lets out so late that the family does not get home until after midnight. After that, Roll said, they are allowed to start eating the pig.

“My aunt made nut rolls to go along with it,” she said.

Christmas dinner includes many traditional American foods but also a Serbian dish known as

you realize that it’s actually pretty good.”

Pogaca, an unleavened bread shaped in a round, flat loaf, along with a sweet bread made in the shape of a cross are some of the breads traditionally eaten, Roll said.

The sweet bread contains an extra ingredient.

“We put a silver dime in it,” Roll said. “You pass the bread around, and everyone breaks off a piece. Whoever gets the dime supposedly has good luck for the next year.”

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Puerto Rico

Holiday traditions are not limited to food. Special alcoholic drinks also are made to celebrate the season.

In the United States, eggnog is the drink of choice. But in Puerto Rico, a similar drink, known as a coquito, is enjoyed.

A coquito is made with a combination of water flavored with cinnamon sticks, sweetened condensed milk, evaporated milk, crème de coco and rum. Ground cinnamon can be added at the end as a garnish.

“It’s very rich and something like this people wouldn’t have all year round,” Pippert said.

In Venezuela, eggs can be added to the beverage, making it more similar to eggnog.

South Korea

Mikey Reisenberg, owner of Mashita food truck in Harrisonburg, was born in South Korea but adopted into an American family when he was 4 months old.

While he was a teenager, Reisenberg began looking for ways to learn about Korean culture, with food being a big component.

“I started eating more Korean food and going [to] my Korean friends’ houses for their family meals,” he said.

Those meals gave him insight into holiday traditions in Korea and inspired Reisenberg to eventually open up Mashita, which features Korean cuisine.

Over time, Reisenberg learned about a variety of Korean dishes.

“One is bulgogi, which is a preparation of Korean barbecue See TRADITIONS, Page 27

November, December and January — dubbed the “holiday season” — encompass an array of celebrations by different nationalities, races and creeds. And while spending time with friends, family and loved ones seems to be a universal theme during the season, some people celebrate differently than others. So to find out about some of these family customs, we took to the streets of Harrisonburg and asked women:

What is the one holiday tradition specific to you or your family that you keep every year?

“We have friends that we get together with on Christmas Eve, and then Christmas morning, I always make a Swedish Tea Ring with homemade icing.”

— Annette Elwood, 56, Harrisonburg

“Family back home in Illinois has started grilling ham outside … so it’s cold and snowy outside, but they would still turn on the grill and grill ham for Christmas dinner.

Something that my family has always done is we would open up one Christmas present on Christmas Eve, and everything else stays until the morning.”

— Kristal Phillips, 34, Timberville

“We eat fish on Christmas Eve as our Christmas Eve dinner, which is kind of weird. I don’t know why, but one year we had fish and we just kept having fish.”

— Sidney Edwards, 19, Charlottesville

“Every year for Christmas, we go to our mother’s in Abington, Va., because we live 300 miles from her.

We’ve even picked up the kids toys and made Christmas there.”

— Shirley Lewis, 67, Chesterfield, Va.

“I haven’t been able to have Christmas with my family for the last five years because I work retail, and they’re in California. But we always had a really nice sit-down Christmas dinner with the really fine china brought out, crystal wine glasses and silverware.”

— Carol Duff, 39, Harrisonburg

“I have two little girls, 7 and 3, and our tradition is the night before Christmas, we open one gift and then, of course, we put out cookies for Santa.”

— Tana Ung, 31, Harrisonburg

“I have a New Year’s Day brunch with all my friends, and we all get together because we’re all too busy over the holidays to really do anything.”

— Sandy Shepherd, 65, Hagerstown, Md.

“Usually Christmas Eve, we go to the really late midnight church service, and we always sing ‘Silent Night’ at the end. Then we go home, and when we wake up, it’s we have presents. But it’s more just a time to hang out and laugh, and then we go to the rest of our family.”

— Brooke Bailey, 23, Elkton

“We open our gifts Christmas Eve and do a Christ child gift at breakfast in the morning. It’s a little gift that’s supposed to come from baby Jesus, and it comes wrapped at the breakfast table.”

— Sandra Toomey, 65, York, Pa.

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What’s

trending

for fall?

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Fall 2015

your STYLE

Updated styles from the ’70s and ’90s

I

ARTICLE BY ALEDA JOHNSON / PHOTOGRAPHY BY NIKKI FOX

f there’s one thing people for fashion comes from years of in fashion will tell you, it’s seeing what consumers want and that it repeats itself. watching garment technology adRecent seasons have seen run- vance. ways full of trends that appear to “So they’ll get inspiration from have been recycled by designers the ’70s or say the ’20s and put from years past to simply be rela- their own spin on what we have beled as “trendy” and “chic” and now available to us that they didn’t consumed by the masses once have in the past,” Patteson said. again.

“That’s what makes it newer and But what only the fresher.”

We’re all retelling truly initiated in the Which is why the same kinds fashion world will tell it’s no surprise that of stories with you is that these recyfor Fall 2015, the different cled trends are really ’70s trends that perspectives, new ideas that pay permeated the and it’s the homage to designers Summer 2015 runsame thing with ways are here to from the past. fashion.

The suede fabrics stay. Victorian-era Jacquie Patteson, lace has seen a and pussy bow manager of Bluetique resurgence, blouses of the ’70s and in Harrisonburg ’90s slip dresses are back but incorporated with edgier pieces than what and crop tops are back like rethe flower children would have runs of “Friends.” worn.

Patteson says the biggest silInstead of knee-length suede houette change this season has skirts buttoned up the front, suede been to denim, with skinny jeans is being repurposed for side zipper being officially kicked to the curb miniskirts. in favor of belly-button covering Instead of the usual plunging bell bottoms. polyester jumpsuits that were popSofter fabrics also are being ular at the time, we’re seeing velvet used to construct tops, which jumpsuits a la Emilio Pucci and paired with flared, high-waist Sonia Rykiel. denim creates an interesting diJacquie Patteson, manager of chotomy of ’70s and ’90s trends.

Bluetique in Harrisonburg, relates “Things have a slight ’90s feel the cyclical nature of fashion to with the crop tops and the higherthat of storytelling. waist jeans, which is amusing me “There are usually never any because that was all my college new stories,” she said. “We’re all years,” she said. “The drapey, soft retelling the same kinds of stories fabrics have also been super popwith different perspectives, and it’s ular, and we have the big felt hats the same thing with fashion.” that have a ’70s feel to them.”

But the change in perspective For those who wish to keep it

“

ABOVE: Abby Bremerton, 20, a junior at James Madison University, models the latest fall fashions from Bluetique. She wears a poncho sweater ($66), olive jeans ($45), necklace ($22), a wristlet purse ($60) and suede boots ($42). The suede fabrics and pussy bow blouses of the ‘70s are back but incorporated with edgier pieces than what women of that decade would have worn.

LEFT: Maddie Clement, 20, a junior at Bridgewater College, wears a printed flare dress ($58), a tassel necklace ($32), a satchel ($62) and ankle boots ($42).

simple, little twists on classic menswear trends and crisp white basics are always an easy way to stay on point without donning anything too flashy.

The idea of a two-piece pant suit, traditionally seen on men at

the office and at black-tie events, has morphed and adopted a slightly more feminine air this season with ensembles that give women that feeling of sleek See HISTORY, Page 23

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your TIME

A

1-2-3 GOal! How to stop dragging your feet and find your stride

quote often attributed to Theodore Roosevelt states, “In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing you can do is the wrong thing and the worst thing you can do is nothing.”

If you’ve ever thought, “I know what I need to do, I just I can’t get myself to do it,” or felt stuck in your tracks instead of free to gain traction toward even your most important goals, you’re not alone.

I’ve been there too, as have many other women I’ve been honored to coach.

That’s why these days two of my favorite mantras are “it’s better done than perfect,” and “it’s easier done than said.”

When looking at my big goals, I used to say “if I can’t do it perfectly right now, I’ll just wait until later (when I have more time, more resources, more inspiration, information, etc.),” which only created a stack of loose ends, taking huge chunks of time, energy

and productivity away from me each day. This kept me busy with trivial things, getting a whole lot of nothing done.

In facing decisions, I played it safe in the comfort of my status quo. I’d think, “I just need a little more time to make a choice, so I can be 100 percent sure it’s the right one.” But the truth is that I was scared of making the wrong decision, disappointing someone, getting hurt or failing.

I believe deep down, we all know the power of our own decisions, and this is why so many of us resist making them. We let things happen to us and hope that by staying in a constant state of indecision that we won’t have to take responsibility or accountability for our lives. As author Jim Rohn states, “Indecision is the thief of opportunity and will steal our chances for a

better future.”

Can you relate to dragging your feet when it comes to getting things done? Seems we all find it difficult to get started at times, especially on tasks we don’t enjoy doing. If you’re ready to trade being busy for more productivity, these tips will drive you confidently forward to new levels of personal and professional excellence.

Take-action tips to beat procrastination Re-Define Perfect: Procrastination is the evil stepsister of perfectionism. Check to see if you have the bar set way too high. Take on a new perspective that allows you to set realistic expectations with the time, resources and circumstances you have to work with.

Commend progress instead of demanding perfection. Would it help you breathe a little easier if you began to consider perfectionism as a character defect? Just remember, you’re already perfect in your imperfection.

Break It Down: Take your big goal and write all the action steps necessary to complete this goal.

Break it down into manageable chunks of time that are scheduled in your calendar just like any other important appointment. Set the timer for 10 to 20 minutes and revel in a sense of completion when you’re “done” with that chunk of time.

Commit to taking the first step within the next 24 hours, OK? You’ll be thrilled to see how small, continuous actions create unstoppable momentum.

Do It Scared: Often we resist taking action because we don’t want to make a mistake. So instead of risking doing it wrong, we don’t do it at all. Don’t be afraid … a mistake is really just a mis-take. There can always be a take-two. If you have ever felt some apprehension about whether you’re making the right decisions, let that wonderful quote reassure you: “In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing you can do is the wrong thing and the worst thing you can do is nothing.”

Act ‘As-if ’: We can stall out if we give in to self-doubt or lack confidence in our abilities. If we approach life as if everything is definitely possible and removed the doubt, we would achieve a lot more.

Ask “what would I be doing if I believed I could really achieve this?”

Then muster the courage to take one bold baby step forward.

See GOal, Page 15

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Metro Creative Photo Illustration

GOal

FROM PAGE 14

Clean Up: Are you surrounded by piles of papers, folders and stacks of miscellaneous things in your office? If so, you probably feel overwhelmed just looking at all that stuff.

Your mind can’t focus well in a cluttered space, so do what you have to do to clean up the mess. You’ll enjoy a greater sense of clarity when you start your day in a fresh, clean space.

Lead By Example: Build the courage to take decisive action, so you can live as the most productive version of yourself. When you are fully engaged and making progress, your energy is contagious, and others can’t help but be inspired to tackle their own tasks with more enthusiasm. It takes discipline to move ahead even when you don’t feel like it or particularly enjoy the task. But remember, others are watching what

Celebrate Yourself: Small rewards are the best encouragement.

They are inexpensive, convenient and provide positive reinforcement. All of us love recognition, so appreciate your own efforts with praise or an honest compliThink “For Now, Not For- ment. Perhaps treat yourself to a ever”: Instead of pressuring your- much-needed nap, a long soak in self to have every the tub, some quiet “The bottom time with a favorite little detail figured out before you get line is you can’t book, a walk in the started on a project, or a cup of move forward if woods think “I’m making tea in the sunshine. this choice for now, you’re standing Seeing your to-do not forever. I give list dwindle is sure still.” myself permission to to lift your spirits be flexible, tweaking things as nec- and strengthen your resolve to essary for this project to be com- keep going. pleted successfully in its final form.

But for now, I will simply get The bottom line is you can’t started.” This will release resistance move forward if you’re standing and spur you into motion. You can still. Everything is energy, and the always course-correct as you go first wave of momentum has to be along. generated by you. Make a commityou do. Whether it’s children, teammembers or peers, people are more likely to follow your actions than your words. Be someone whose choices ripple out into a cascade of accomplishments around you.

ment to even the simplest step, and take action now, even if it’s not perfect.

In closing, a wise reminder from Lord Chesterfield Stanhope: “Know the true value of time!

Snatch, seize and enjoy every moment of it. No idleness, no laziness, no procrastination. Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today.”

What act can you complete today that would reflect the true value of your time?

Christina Kunkle, RN and CTA Certified Life and Wellness Coach, is founder of Synergy Life and Wellness Coaching, LLC, creator of the “Synergy Success Circle” and “SOAR,” a HeartCentered Leadership Development Program. To learn more, visit her website at www.synergylifeandwellnesscoaching.com or call 540746-5206.

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RIGHT: Angela Carter reads her poems at a poetry slam at the Artful Dodger on Sept. 15. Her tattoo, “Don't listen to the lie,” is a phrase told to her by a counselor that she says she takes time to look at every day.

‘Survival is a full-time job’

A

Angela Carter uses poetry to shine a light on mental illness, abuse ARTICLE BY MATT GONZALES | PHOTOGRAPHY BY HOLLY MARCUS

ngela Marie Carter is alone in a crowd of people.

She stands on a modest stage at the back corner of the Artful Dodger coffeehouse and bar in Harrisonburg. Two microphones are angled to befit her 5-foot-5inch frame, while a trio of dim strobe lights cast a gentle aura against her.

One-hundred and fifty locals packed into the Dodger’s tight quarters — some standing, some sitting on the floor — to hear the local poet.

Angela wears a dark, sleeveless shirt exposing her arms; sprawled vertically down her left shoulder is a tattoo that reads, “Don’t listen to the lie.” She says that it’s a reminder that the negative thoughts that flood her mind on occasion are just an element of her illness.

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She takes time out of each day to gaze at the message.

“My name is Angela Carter,” she announces to the crowd, “and I suffer with severe depression. I was abused as a child, and that is something that follows me through my entire life.”

The audience surrenders to silence.

“I can already see people shuffling,” she says aloud, gesturing toward a group at the back corner of the room who tense up at the mere mention of a subject many deem taboo. “That’s called stigma, by the way. Stigma. And that’s what I’m against. I’m on a vendetta against stigma.”

As she stands on stage, Angela looks larger than life, carrying a confidence she has spent years trying to regain. This is her sanctuary. She casts her wide, chocolate eyes toward the crowd and

begins spilling out the thoughts she concealed for so long.

This is her time.

‘Harrisonburg is home’

Angela Carter loves restaurants that remind her of home, and nothing reminds her of home more than the Thomas House Restaurant in Dayton.

The decades-old southernstyle restaurant is often filled with easygoing locals. They socialize for hours at a time in a “back in my day” candor, talking about the local news, catching up with friends they haven’t seen in a while, or meeting soon-to-be friends over a meal of chicken and dumplings.

“You get the country people coming in telling their stories, most of them will talk to complete strangers,” says Angela, 33, sitting in a back corner booth in

the restaurant on a gray September morning. “There’s something about someone you don’t know interacting with you, or hearing people around you with the accents and the food and just sort of ... I feel like I’m back in time, when I was growing up.”

She was born Angela Hawthorne, raised in Alberta, Va., a 2.1-square-mile community nestled a half-hour north of the North Carolina border, home to fewer than 300 residents.

But Angela had dreams that extended far beyond the confines of her hometown.

In 2000, she took her first plane ride ever to Bath, Somerset, in Southwest England, after receiving a scholarship from Southside Virginia Community College See CARTER, Page 18

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‘We love wandering downtown and bumping into someone’ Carter

FROM PAGE 16

to study abroad. She studied British literature and European business culture at the University of Bath shortly after.

Angela’s not-in-Kansasanymore moment came quickly, when she realized her family and friends were thousands of miles behind her.

“Looking back, it was probably a very stupid thing for me to do,” says Angela, laughing at the memory. “I was on my own and didn’t know anybody, other than one person I met while I was studying there.”

That person, James Carter, worked as a manager for an insurance agency at the University of Bath. Eleven months later, he would become her husband.

“I remember seeing this beautiful girl at the halls of the residents, and I beckoned her down,” said James Carter, 39, who was born and raised on the limestone hills of Bath, evidenced by his smooth English accent. “We talked for an hour and a half, and later that night, I told my mum about this lovely, beautiful American whose name I couldn’t remember, talking about how nice she was.”

A week later, Angela entered his office and asked him out on a date.

As the saying goes, the rest is history.

They would marry and have two girls, Eve, now 10, and Nori, 8, each of whom share their mother’s brown hair and smile.

The couple then moved to Harrisonburg in 2006 after passing through the Friendly City during

18

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Fall 2015

Photos by Holly Marcus

Poet Angela Carter stands with her husband, James, and daughters, Eve, 10, and Nori, 8, at their home in Harrisonburg. The couple moved to the city in 2006 after passing through during their delayed honeymoon trip to Boston.

their delayed honeymoon trip to Boston.

“We didn’t know anything about Harrisonburg [before the relocation],” admits Angela. “We stopped by and enjoyed our time, everyone just seemed so friendly.

We didn’t do a whole lot of research but decided to move here anyways. That’s just the type of people we are.”

The move was spontaneous, but the challenges the Carter family faced on their arrival were real.

Struggling to keep up with mounting bills and rent, the Carters lived below the poverty line for years.

Angela started out as a stay-athome mother while James worked full time as a gifts and records officer at James Madison University.

With time, the Carters gained ground. Angela received a scholarship to attend Eastern Mennon-

ite University and eventually became a human resources manager for Beam Brothers Trucking in Mount Crawford, a position she left in 2013. James would become the director of development and design at Immerge Technologies in downtown Harrisonburg.

The Carters are a very closeknit family who like to explore everything the Valley has to offer, whether picking berries in the summertime, biking at Hillandale Park, enjoying a show at Court Square Theater, or feasting on fried Oreos at Jack Brown’s Beer and Burger Joint.

“We love wandering downtown and bumping into someone or striking up a conversation with a stranger,” says James Carter.

“Harrisonburg really is our home.”

Angela hasn’t forgotten when her family had only enough money

to pay their bills and put food on the table and not much else. If anything, those arduous years have strengthened the bond she and James share and have forged a greater sense of family pride.

“Sometimes I think about how everything aligned, from that first plane ride all the way to now, and I can’t help but smile,” she says.

“Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if things went differently.”

She pauses for a few seconds, gathers her thoughts and then continues.

“The thing is, people say not to think about what would have happened, but the fact of the matter is, I know what would have happened.”

■■■ See CARTER, Page 19

D

Angela Carter, at her home in Harrisonburg, can’t pinpoint the moment when she fell in love with poetry but knows it came in the first 10 years of her life.

“

Carter

FROM PAGE 18

o you hear me world? I’m not done yet.”

Angela Carter fills the Artful Dodger with sounds of her past, her pain emanating from her voice.

“No, I won’t sit down,” she reads aloud. “No, I refuse to hide my earned frown. My tongue hardened into a hammer. And you keep on feeding me nails as I’m trying to speak the truth.”

Several members of the crowd shout fleeting messages of support, from “Wooo!” to “Go girl!”

Carter doesn’t break stride. The momentum of her words continues to build.

“I’m not done living, lady. Liv-

ing is a moving goal. If your heart ain’t aching, it must not be whole,” she proudly shouts.

“If you can’t stomach my story, imagine it were you.”

‘The person I always wanted to be’

Angela Carter cannot pinpoint the moment when she fell in love with poetry, though she knows it came in the first 10 years of her life.

In her first memory of writing poetry, she was 8 years old. She would pencil stanzas on an antiquated lamp shade her grandmother once owned and erase them afterward. She then moved on to the interior of her bedroom closet, a strategy that would keep

others from reading her thoughts.

She says that she would also document her poems on a tape recorder, hiding the tapes behind seldom-used books on a bookshelf. “[Poetry] kept me going,” says Angela. “I did not have a good childhood, so that was my escape.”

Around this time, Angela says, she became a victim of sexual abuse. The abuse, she says, triggered the development of severe depression, which she continues to battle today, and it affected her in many other ways growing up.

As a teenager, she says, she lost the ability to trust those around her, peers and family members. She wasn’t comfortable in her own skin. She could

not stand the sight of herself in the mirror. She didn’t like the person she had become and lacked self-confidence.

“When you’re abused, your whole world is different than what it was before,” she says. “Whether it happens one time or 100 times, it is still damaging.”

Angela now distills her past into her poetry, which continues to be her cathartic outlet; it is a vehicle that affords her the opportunity to express her feelings and share her past with others.

Two years ago, she took this endeavor a step further.

She now shares her works with local audiences through live See CARTER, Page 20

Fall 2015

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19

‘Seeing her up on the stage ... that makes me very proud’ Carter

FROM PAGE 19

readings. This eventually led to speaking engagements around the country at venues like the KGB Bar and Lit Journal in Manhattan, and Busboys and Poets in Arlington.

“When I’m on stage, I feel like the person I have always wanted to be,” she says. “And there’s an immense happiness wherever I’m at before I get onstage … and I feel proud of what I’m doing.”

There are some, however, who disagree with Angela’s decision to speak with such openness. Over the years, she says, she’s heard people say things like: “Making other people think about [abuse] doesn’t make the world better; it only makes them feel down.”

“I feel sorry for you, but maybe you should let it go.”

“Why would you bring your children to a reading?”

“Keep private matters private.”

She recalls situations in which audience members have questioned her motives or made their own displeasure with the subject matter blatantly apparent.

“Whenever that happens, I will say, ‘I realize you’re uncomfortable, I can see it in your

body language. But just understand how hard this must have been on me, to go half my life being told I couldn’t talk about these things. And you are here, a part of me changing that.’”

When she first began these readings, an unreceptive audience would have been overwhelmingly discouraging for Angela. Those who scowl at her while she’s on stage or storm out of the room mid-reading would have caused her to “die inside” or “feel so low and not accepted,” she says.

But that was in the past.

Constant repetition and encouragement from her husband, who was a regular attendee in those earlier days, helped her through these difficult moments.

“I would look into the crowd and find him,” explains Angela.

“He was the only person I knew who had my back, and I couldn’t have done it without him.”

The support she received from James during those early performances buoyed her confidence — not necessarily by anything James said, but rather simply by making his presence felt. She would look his way, and the unspoken lines of communication would inspire her to push through.

“Seeing her up on the stage being that strong, being able to read those words, that makes me very proud,” said James Carter.

“She’s a great role model for our children — to go on stage and perform in front of those people.”

The Carters allows Eve and Nori to attend certain readings, See CARTER, Page 21

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Fall 2015

Carter

FROM PAGE 20

so long the subject matter is suitable. Angela refuses to hide her past from her children and remains very upfront with them about her struggles with depression to this day.

“Some people say that I shouldn’t talk about this with my kids,” she says. “But think of how different my life would have been if people would have talked to me at those ages.”

The love she has for her two energetic girls is beyond comprehension and can be seen in the most subtle of interactions.

Each time she lays eyes on her children, it is as if for the first time, while embracing them as if for the last.

“My children are so understanding and caring,” she says,

with a warm smile. “When they attend my performances, they sit up front and are so happy to see me. They even create signs that say ‘We like your poetry, Mama.’”

Another person who enjoys Angela’s work is Terry Whitmore, who was an instructor for the adult education completion program at Eastern Mennonite University for 19 years.

Whitmore remembers meeting Angela in 2009, whom he described as very shy student.

Many of his classes employed small group interactions and the sharing of life experience, an atmosphere in which Angela was not as comfortable expressing herself.

“I was extremely depressed sometimes when I went in there,” recalls Angela.

Whitmore, however, helped her through that difficult time.

The two had countless personal conversations where he would offer words of inspiration and encourage Angela to use her negative life experiences to her advantage.

So when he now sees her up on stage, spilling her heart out to audiences, he cannot help but feel pride for his former student.

“The first time I attended a reading, it brought me to tears,” he says. “She really shared her stream of experiences, and that takes a tremendous amount of courage — a tremendous amount. I’m very, very proud of her.”

Angela’s words also have affected many audience members, some of whom she says are reluctant to voice their own abusive pasts.

“I’ll get thank you notes or Facebook messages at least twice a week,” says Angela, who calls these communications “amazing.” She says she rarely imparts advice as she continues to “try to figure things out for myself.”

The words of encouragement she has received and the private stories told by others juxtapose all of the criticism received over the years. As Angela says, the effect her words have on those who are enduring their own abusive situations is what keeps her driven.

“I always say to people, within a one-block radius of your home, there’s going to be at least four people that have been abused and probably more See CARTER, Page 22

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21

ing as the backdrop for Angela’s rhythmic cadence.

“There are more haters of mental illness than a recession has $2-an-hour waiters — but I’ll give my haters a tip or two,” she exclaims, which once again draws light cheering from the crowd.

“You can do that mean you do, and you can do while you kiss my weirdo ass too, because you ain’t the first to call me crazy, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to become weak just because you hope I do.”

Angela stares into the crowd as if it’s littered with the images of her critics, those who prematurely force on her a label before actually taking time to hear what she has to say.

“Yes, I’ve been a patient in a hospital, and I take six pills a day, but I’d rather be depressed than hurtful and ignorant any day. I’m a modern-day leper; my crazy is gonna fall off and be caught.

“They spend more energy trying to run away instead of asking me what it means to have survived or fought.”

Silence is not golden

In 2014, Carter published her first book of memoirs, “Memory Chose A Woman’s Body,” a collection of poems for which she was nominated for a Virginia Library Literacy Award.

Photo by Holly Marcus

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Fall 2015

Carter

FROM PAGE 21

than that have some sort of mental illness,” she says.

“I’m doing this for them.”

■■■ Blake Cramer, guitarist for the

Harrisonburg-based bluegrass band Shenandoah Alley, joins Angela on stage, toting an acousticelectric guitar and a somber expression. He begins gently strumming in A minor. A dark, gloomy sound fills the room, serv-

Angela’s poetry has not gone unnoticed to those whose jobs are to recognize exceptional work.

In 2014, she published her first book of memoirs, “Memory Chose A Woman’s Body,” a 94page collection of poems that spotlights the effects of silence after an abusive past, for which she was nominated for a Virginia Library Literacy Award. In 2014, she was nominated for the Pushcart Prize, an American literary recognition bestowed by the Pushcart Press, for her poem, “Woman at the Auction House.”

See CARTER, Page 25

‘Everyone seems to be going more toward the comfortable’ History

FROM PAGE 13

sophistication without the cummerbund.

Uniform-like skirts and matching jackets or blouses were all over the streets of New York Fashion Week. Patteson has a few in her store that she just can’t keep on the racks.

“It’s cool and it’s interesting, but the best thing about it is you can wear it as an outfit or you can wear it with something else,” she said. “So you get a lot of diff uses out of one particular look.”

The ever-important simple white blouse has seen multiple renditions this season, as either the structured, masculine buttondown, or softened with Victorian lace, ruffles and peter pan collars.

And of course, with the simple, preppy style of Bluetique and the goal of selling clothes that women will want to wear for several seasons, the white blouse is a staple in the store, according to Patteson.

“We have more drapier kinds, not necessarily the tailored kinds, but they’re always great basics to have,” she said. “They never go out of style and there’s like 10,000 different ways to use them.”

As for the feet, while riding boots are still a great casual look, this fall brings boot trends from opposite ends of the spectrum, with short booties and thigh-high over-the-knee boots.

While short booties run the gamut of styles, suede boho style and black biker booties seem to be the most popular, according to Patteson.

For those daring enough to try the over-the-knee boot trend, Patteson says the trend can be done

Photos by Nikki Fox

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appropriately with a balanced outfit.

“It’s like the rule of wearing something risqué,” she said. “You want to make sure that the rest of you is paired down.”

Patteson recommends wear-

ing the daring boot without showing any skin and dressing down the rest of the ensemble.

“With those kinds of things, you probably want to keep either tights or a high-neckline so it’s not looking quite so ‘Pretty Woman,’”

she said. “Over-the-knee boots are a very dramatic piece, and you want your focal point to be on your boots, so everything else is paired down to focus on your boots.”

But no matter the current trends, the one thing Patteson says she’s seeing again and again is that consumers are increasingly concerned with comfort and looking for clothing to fill those needs.

“Everyone seems to be going more toward the comfortable, which is fantastic because it’s like wearing your pajamas except it looks cute,” she said. “It makes it easy to get dressed without worrying about squirming and readjusting.”

And the trends on the runway mirror that ideal.

Structured suits now more closely resemble pajama sets than something worn to a black-tie affair, and the “normcore” trends are still seen on the streets in force.

Normcore is a term that depicts the idea of “normal style,” which embodies self-aware, stylized blandness.

Even the A-listers are donning simple, clean basics with the attitude of deliberately embracing sameness as the new cool, instead of endeavoring to be different or authentic.

“Today’s consumer right now is less worried about that because everyone is so busy. They’re worried about being comfortable and not thinking about it too hard,” Patteson said. “It’s all about knowing you and what you’re comfortable with, what looks good on you.”

Fall 2015

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23

Carter

FROM PAGE 22

Local author and friend Shirley Showalter remains unsurprised by the positive reception.

“She’s a good storyteller,” says Showalter. “For being a young person, she has lived a lot, and she’s always full of stories.”

While flattering, Angela says she does not strive for the honors and recognitions. She says her work is intended to establish awareness for those who have been abused or those who may live with a mental illness.

She also vows to tear down a long-lasting stigma that continues to affect many people today.

“I happen to know that there are people out there that now talk about their stories because they went to one of my shows,” says Angela. “If I can’t change the things in my life, if I can’t change

the fact that I was abused, if I can’t change the negative occurrences and the depression, what better thing can I ask for than at least leading a handful of people into changing their own lives?”

She hopes her performances will inspire those shamed into silence to break out of their shell and share their own abusive pasts. Doing so will not only bring about this awareness, she says, but may inspire others to do the same.

As she says: Silence is not golden.

“I don’t see a single thing we gain by not talking about it,” she says. “Constantly keeping secrets and remaining scared to say the wrong things; it doesn’t help anything at all.”

Angela adamantly maintains that those who live with a mental illness are not looking for a solu-

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tion. She understands she may grapple with depression for years to come. But she wants the world to know that people like her, those who may live with a mental illness after difficult childhoods, are not defined by this epidemic.

“I’m not crazy,” she says, “I’m coping. And I stick by that.”

■■■ o you hear me, world? I’m not leaving yet.”

Through 15 minutes of readings, the crowd remains as still as the Harrisonburg night, their eyes locked on Angela throughout the duration of her poetry reading.

Some viewers are visibly shaken, some watch with eyes filled with emotion. Others look with astonishment, as if admiring the bravery of a woman who, despite her poignant past, continues to wake up each morning, continues to ex-

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press empathy, continues to look for the good in those around her.

“I’m the thunder before the lightening. I’m that silenced girl, speaking. I’m the abused, publicly weeping. I’m the bullied, with arms up against the next strike,” she continues, her voice stretching thinner with every word.

“Turns out fading memories don’t mean the pain is through.

But I’ll live, because if I could learn to love my own self, I can learn to accept you.

“I’m not done surviving lady,” she says, before encapsulating her message into a single sentence, emphasizing each word: “Survival is a full-time job.”

Angela Carter steps away from the microphone, wipes her dampened eyes and descends the stage, holding up her chin.

The crowd roars in applause.

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Fall 2015

Traditions

FROM PAGE 10

with a thinly sliced protein — beef typically — in a soy-based marinade with sesame oil,” Reisenberg said. “It’s a little bit sweet while being savory at the same time. If you sit down at an actual Korean holiday meal, there is always going to be bulgogi.”

Another prevalent dish is japchae.

“It’s a really neat noodle dish that is basically sweet potato starch noodles, vegetables and a protein along with mushrooms,” Reisenberg said. “It’s a traditional side dish for a lot of the holiday gatherings.

Noodles feed a lot of people.”

The dish is served as a stir fry or cold.

At a Korean meal, there are a lot of side dishes with everything being family style, Reisenberg said.

Different cultures put significance on certain ingredients, and the ginseng root is indicative of long life, prosperity and strength.

“

Mikey Reisenberg, owner of Mashita food truck in Harrisonburg

“Once you sit at a Korean table, you are part of the family,” he said.

“You will have one focal point, which may be the bulgogi as an option, which will then be accompanied by leaves of lettuce that can be used to make wraps and also at the same time you will have bean sprouts and tofu.”

Preparing such a variety of dishes is a sign of affection from the host that is then returned by the guest, Reisenberg said.

One of the more significant

Korean holidays is Chuseok, a fall festival that celebrates the harvest and honors family ancestors.

People travel from smaller villages into large towns and cities to visit tombs and memorials. Food is a huge component.

“You offer tribute to your ancestors by leaving food — fresh fruits, things that you make,” Reisenberg said.

One of the major dishes is songpyeon.

“It’s a stuffed rice cake formed into a half moon,” Reisenberg said.

“It’s steamed over pine needles, which gives it a fresh aromatic scent.”

Also popular is hangwa, a rice flour cookie that is prepared with natural ingredients. Those ingredi-

Chuseok, a fall festival, celebrates harvest, honors ancestors ents can include edible flowers and herbs pressed into the cookie.

During the Christmas season, soup is an important part of the meal. One of the more popular soups, known as samgyetang, is flavored with chicken and ginseng.

“Different cultures put significance on certain ingredients, and the ginseng root is indicative of long life, prosperity and strength” See TRADITIONS, Page 29

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Traditions

Certified Chef Tassie Pippert makes a Puerto Rican rum drink called a coquito.

“It’s very rich and something like this people wouldn’t have all year round,” Pippert said.

In Venezuela, eggs may be added to the beverage.

FROM PAGE 27

Reisenberg said. “It’s representative of starting the New Year off right, while also enjoying the more luxurious goods of being a more developing nation.”

Cold temperatures also contribute to an increased consumption of soup.

Christmas has become significant in South Korea because of its closeness to western nations, such as the U.S. and its embracement of Christianity, Reisenberg said.

“There is such an influence of American culture that it wouldn’t feel strange as an American if you were in [South] Korea during the holidays,” he said. “You would feel right at home, while at the same time being presented with a bunch of different things.”

Photo by Nikki Fox

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29

‘Finding time to connect with others ... is really important’

Combination

FROM PAGE 5

Henderson. “Introverts may need less, extroverts more.”

Kristy Koser, certified emotionally-focused therapist and supervisor at Aporia Counseling and Psychotherapy, PLLC, in Harrisonburg, noted how studies have shown that when an individual feels supported or attached to someone else in their lives, they will see an increase in productivity.

A social life gives way to a more re-

laxed disposition, which helps boost your abilities on the job.

“Finding time to connect with others over a coffee or beer, running together, just experiencing these interactions is really important,” said Koser, noting how a social life also lends itself to a sense of openness. The ability to speak with others about life accomplishments or failures, she says, can be a cathartic release for many.

Establishing these relationships also can increase your sense of belonging, boost your happiness, improve your self-confidence and reduce your stress, she says.

Burning out

A lack of social life can lead to problems that affect your health, most notably burnout. Burnout is

a state of physical, emotional or mental exhaustion combined with doubts about the competence and value of your work on the job, according to the Mayo Clinic’s website.

The site also notes how weight gain and loss and a higher frequency of sickness also are lingering effects that may come with burnout, as well as doses of cynicism, irritability, lack of energy, lack of job satisfaction, an irregular appetite as well as a diminished social life.

“Fatigue or burnout can range from lack of motivation to go into work to questioning whether they want to do this in life…and this snowballs into a big catastrophe,” said Koser. “I think burnout is the number one consequence [of nonstop working].”

Additionally, a lack of social life

due to burnout can be damaging to one’s mental health.

According to the psychologybased publication and website Psychology Today, John Cacioppo, a psychologist at the University of Chicago, performed a series of studies on loneliness and made a number of discoveries: Living alone increases the risk of suicide for the young and old alike, lonely individuals report higher levels of perceived stress even when exposed to the same stressors as non-lonely people, and loneliness erodes the quality of sleep.

Furthermore, Koser says an important risk of bypassing a social life is a failure to simply establish relationships and connections.

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Combination

FROM PAGE 30

those around you,” said Koser.

“There is so much focus on work and not in developing relationships in various capacities.”

Finding a balance

Loneliness due to overworking is not uncommon for young adults.

Kyle Laver, owner and career coach at Harrisonburg Career Coaching, says she constantly witnesses clients who overwork themselves shortly after college, whether as a means to pay off their tens-of-thousands of dollars in student debt, or to build their resume up to impress potential employers. This, in turn, erodes their social life outside of their work environment.

“They get into positions, such as retail or teaching, where they push themselves to the limit and have a hard time with that life balance,” said Laver.

It may be difficult to balance work and social life, but it is a feat that can be conquered. Koser says the journey toward finding this balance is a trial and error process, especially for young adults in a professional world, but it all starts with identifying your limits and boundaries.

How much can you work be-

Presents

fore getting overwhelmed? How much can you take on? If you have a week where you take on too much, where you don’t have time to relax and spend time with family and friends, make a physical or mental note and keep it in mind for the following week, said Koser.

“Sit down and prioritize what you want in your life and career rather than always thinking about what your career wants from you,” said Koser. “It’s very helpful to prioritize.”

If you have a good, working relationship with your supervisor, use that to your advantage.

“If you like your job and have no life outside of work, ask about vacation possibilities or even about taking small breaks,” said Laver.

“Be honest [with] them about how you feel and what is going on in your life — it is so important to communicate well and openly.”

Laver noted how a career is a marathon, not a sprint. There are times to take on leadership roles and additional responsibilities, but also times to pull back and selfregulate, something not a lot of young Americans firmly understand.

“Know when you’re worn out,” she said, “and when you are, you have to find a way to slow down.”

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