FRIDAY, APRIL 1, 2011
VOL. 20 NO. 10
The serene quietness of this northern New H ampshire pond will soon be the setting for the colorful “Charlie Sheen and his goddesses”. (RITA DUBE PHOTO)
Charlie Sheen buys summer home in area
By April F. Gotcha WEST MILAN -- According to TNZ, Charlie Sheen has purchased a summer home at ‘See The Pond’, in Milan. The property was sold by RE/MAKE Properties at a whopping $2 million dollar price tag. The exact site has not been identified, but is located on the “See The Pond” loop road and needed to be large enough to park his tour bus. The famous actor has just landed a position as a mental health consultant as well as a drug consultant at the nearby hospital. The hospital will be working with Sheen, studying his brain in hopes of gaining insight into how his brain operates. According to sources, Sheen has been quoted “I’m looking forward to getting back to nature” and to bring much character to the area, since I’m such a winner, DUH!” The job will also supplement his income, since he was fired from the show “Three and Half Men”. There are rumors circulating that he’s been in contact with the county and has placed a bid to purchase the Coos County Farm’s Holstein Herd. He believes that running a dairy farm will be the perfect scenario for his new reality show. “The Farmer see SHEEN page 9
Wild council meeting I. M. Knot-Tellin’ BERLIN – Voices were raised, tempers flared, sparks flew, and all hell broke loose at Monday’s city council meeting. Long-time observers said it was one of the wildest nights in decades at city hall. Want to know what happened? Too bad! This week we are not reporting the news. You should have put down the television remote, dragged your lazy butt out of your overstuffed chair, and gotten over to city hall to see your elected officials in action. But you didn’t and now you will never really know what happened. Because while we were there, we’re not telling. And we might not report anything next week as well. Get used to it.
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Best Western to lease federal prison
There will be some optional activities for the By Dew Drop Bye guests such as sawing through metal bars with BERLIN -- Spend a weekend at the Big House. a plastic knife, chiseling through concrete with Or if the atmosphere captivates you, spend a week a paper clip, and escaping through or two. sound barriers with nano white noise With no money to open and operate devices. the spanking brand new federal prison, There will be transformation and the Bureau of Prisons has decided to consciousness raising sessions plus sublease the facility to the Best Westdisciplinary hearings with solitary ern Hotel chain. confinement handed out for infracCall it the latest in reality-based tions. vacation venues. The average lawCells will be booked as double abiding citizen can experience what it occupancy with the prison equally is like to spend a night behind the cold divided between men’s and woman’s iron bars without having to commit a quarters. There will be no conjugal single crime. visits allowed. The prison will be operated as a Best Western spokesman Howie prison. Guests will be treated like Beatem said the chain is expecting inmates with lock-up hours, designated its newest hotel to be an immediate recreation times, and no televisions in the small cells. Guests will eat the same Modeling the look - The doormen at hit with guests. “Our consultants, Murky Research, menu served throughout the nation’s the new Best Western Hotel in Berlin prison system, which does not include will be dressed in uniforms that conducted extensive surveying and highlight North Country style for the found a great demand for this type of an alcohol beverage with any meal. prison experience. experience,” he said. The head of the facility will be known Beatem said his company is taking reservations as the warden and trained correctional officers for the new hotel starting today, April 1. will be hired to manage the guests.
New heating strategy for East Side emerges
I. C. Fingers BERLIN—As one of the coldest winters in memory recedes, residents of Berlin’s East Side got a welcome surprise last week. At the monthly meeting of the AARDVARK board, Executive Director Sherry Goth announced that in a double check of the Mt. Carbury Landfill stats, Raoul Smit, P.C., of CCC Engineers, Inc., of Manchester, has discovered that the landfill is producing four times the thermal power anticipated when AARDVARK agreed to supply heat to the Avalanche Mill in Gorham. This power is generated by the decay of organic matter in the landfill and channeled by an intricate system of internal piping to a single outlet where it can be converted to a controlled heating system and/ or a power generator. With this welcome additional capacity, the landfill will begin to supply low-cost heat to the entire East Side, starting next fall.
Conduits will be laid alongside the sewer and water lines this summer and residents will possibly be able to hook into the system this fall before the weather gets cold. Residents will have to pay for their own hook-ups and convert their oil-fired systems to the new Mt. Carbury thermal system, but engineers anticipate that, once drawn, heating costs will be halved, if not quartered. Meanwhile, the AARDVARK board has voted to look into expanding this new resource to benefit not just the East Side but the Main Street section of Berlin, as well. With the planned expansion of the landfill, this eventuality may become a reality in the near future. Landfill planners are also taking first steps to further expand the permitted area of the landfill to enable AARDVARK to extend its heating power out into the communities surrounding Berlin, thus consee STRATEGY page 13
Superman alive and well at Gorham High School By Jeano Oleson GORHAM -- Don’t believe in Superman? Clark Kent was a perfect disguise for the world’s superhero. There is a current superman at Gorham High School and he is disguised as Bobby Langlands. “The Blurr”, “The Human Missle”, and “Bob Dog”, are all nicknames that are appropriate for the senior student athlete. “I like to keep a low profile,” said the Shelburne resident. “When I’m not on the playing field, golf course, ski slopes, or out on a boy scout jamboree, I like to remain humble and fit in with everyone else.”
The new Super Hero at GHS
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The Eagle Scout and FBLA member, has just completed one of the most successful ski seasons’ ever, being named the NH Male Skier of the Year, and taking gold in the skimeister by winning the slalom, giant slalom, and skimeister, all in 2011. Langlands excels at golf during the fall, as one of Gorham’s top golfers. “Bob Dog” see SUPERMAN page 8
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