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Across the street was where Sarah lived. I liked Sarah, only my mom didn’t like Sarah’s mother, Betty, because she was what my mother called a woman with problems. Betty drank a lot and never got out of bed, but she was always nice to me when I came over after school. Cookie would come over too. Sarah and him and me would go in the backyard and play with the rabbits. Sometimes we would dig up red potatoes out of the garden patch and throw them against the garage wall because Sarah’s brothers and their friends would go in and lock us out. Cookie said they were doing things with fire. He took us to his garage and painted a circle on the floor with some fluid he had in a can in his pocket. He lit one circle after another until his dad came home and threw him against the wall. His arm bent funny behind his back when he hit and he cried. We didn’t see Cookie at school the next day. When the teacher asked Sarah and me about him we didn’t say anything. After a few days the teacher said that Cookie was sick. When Sarah and me stopped by to see him his dad said he had something we might catch and so we had to stay away. It wasn’t until Christmas vacation that I saw Cookie again. He showed up on the street with a long funny gun that shot Ping-pong balls. He said he was going to bag some pigeons and asked Sarah and me to come along. 2
Fire We went to the empty barn that was on a vacant lot a couple of blocks away. We saw pigeons on top of the roof, only it was cold so we went inside to get out of the wind. Cookie said there might be some pigeons in the loft. He climbed up with his gun while Sarah and me waited below to see where the birds would fall. Cookie shot his gun a few times. Some Ping-pong balls fell down that were hard to find in the hay but there weren’t any birds. Cookie asked Sarah and me to come up. Sarah didn’t want to go up the ladder because the steps were too far apart. Cookie came down and said we might as well wait in the barn until it got late because it was certain then that the pigeons would come. We sat down in the hay and listened to the wind. It was getting loud. Cookie took out a knife which we practiced sticking in the wall. I threw it too hard and the handle broke off. I said to Cookie I was sorry, but he didn’t get mad. He said he could fix it with tape. He was only sorry that he didn’t have another knife to play with. I didn’t have one either and all Sarah had was a fingernail file which we tried throwing but which wouldn’t stick, not even into the dirt. After a while Sarah got cold. She wasn’t wearing any gloves. When I touched her hand it felt like ice. Cookie said we should go home because Sarah’s nose was running. I thought so too, but Sarah said she wanted to get pigeons to take home to her rabbits and so Cookie said we better build a fire to stay warm. Sarah and me got hay and piled it up in the center of the barn. Then Cookie took out some matches and lit up the hay and threw on a couple of rotten boards that were next to the ladder. It was fun standing around the fire. Sarah held her hands over it and got them warm and Cookie kept running around trying to find things to make the fire bigger. He said if it was warm enough the pigeons might come in before it got dark. This cheered Sarah up. She kept talking about how much she wanted to have pigeons for her rabbits and that she would feed them the red potatoes and get baby chicks. 3
Fire Cookie went back up the ladder to the loft in case some chicks were hiding there while Sarah and me dumped on more hay and planks to bring in the pigeons. The fire got hot so that when I touched my pants with my hands they burned, only still no pigeons came in. Cookie hollered down that he was ready and that the fire looked good. He threw down a couple of cardboard boxes that he said should be just the thing to get the pigeons to come in from the outside. I tossed one of the boxes on and Sarah tossed on the other because she said she wanted to keep her right to the pigeons. The boxes put off a lot of smoke that went up to the top of the barn. I looked up to where Cookie was and everything was in a grey cloud. I called up to Cookie and asked if he saw any pigeons yet, but Cookie shouted out it was too smoky to see. He said to open the door to let out the smoke. Sarah wanted to do it because she thought it’d let the pigeons in. She pulled it wide open. The wind came in fast. It hit the fire hard and blew burning pieces of hay through the air. Before I could pull the door closed there was fire all over the place. I screamed up to Cookie to get down. Maybe Sarah thought I was calling to her outside because just as Cookie answered that he was coming she pulled the door back open. The wind came in again. At the top of the ladder there were flames leaping up. Cookie was in the corner of the loft away from the fire yelling at us to move the ladder. I was getting scared because it was hot and hard to breathe. Big chunks of fire were falling down from the roof and landing around us. I wanted to send Sarah out but I couldn’t because I couldn’t move the ladder by myself. We tried to lift it but it was too heavy for Sarah to move her end so we both held on to one side and pulled. It slid along for a little way and then got stuck on something. Sarah and me tried pulling some more, but that didn’t work, so we got on the other side and pushed. The ladder gave way all of a sudden. The feet kicked out in front of us. The ladder fell backwards so that Sarah and me had to duck out of the way. It hit beside us and when we tried to lift it again we couldn’t get it to stand up, I yelled to Cookie that we couldn’t get the ladder up. Then Sarah and me started to choke. The fire was loud. I thought I heard Cookie’s voice through it, but I wasn’t sure. Along the front of the loft there was a wall of fire. 4
Fire I grabbed Sarah and pulled her out of the barn. I felt like I was going to pee because I knew Cookie was going to burn up. Sarah was crying and saying Cookie was in there and the pigeons were burning up but then we stopped standing around and ran off for help. Before we got to a house the fire engines came. Sarah and me ran to a fireman and said Cookie was in there and that the ladder was probably burned up. Sarah was still choking. They asked us if we had been in there and Sarah said yes. Then they put a mask over Sarah so she could breathe. I wanted to go with them but they made me stay with Sarah and a fireman. He kept telling me not to worry, that everything was all right, but I knew nothing was all right because Cookie was in the barn and the barn was going off like a bomb. It was getting dark but the whole sky was lit up and I could see the firemen running along with their hoses. It seemed to take forever and then the water came on, but they didn’t put up a ladder, maybe because everything was on fire. Some of them ran inside the barn as the other firemen sprayed water on them, but as soon as they were in they came back out. They didn’t have Cookie as far as I could see. I felt weak and cold. I was choking and the fireman was putting a mask over me like he did Sarah. I breathed in the air and grabbed Sarah’s hand and held it tight but the fireman made me let go. Then the barn fell down. It caved in at the middle and sent a cloud of fire into the air. I knew that Cookie was in there. I peed in my pants and the firemen took me and Sarah to the hospital. Once we were there I didn’t see Sarah anymore. The nurse came and put me in a bed with a plastic top. When I looked out everything was blurry. I asked her about Cookie and she said, like the firemen, that everything was fine. I missed Sarah. I didn’t like the bed I was on because I couldn’t get out of it to see if she was all right. Then I thought of Cookie’s gun that shot Ping-pong balls and fell asleep. When I woke up my mom and dad were there, I was afraid because I knew I wasn’t supposed to be with Cookie. I tried to tell them we 5
Fire were hunting pigeons but my mom kept saying everything would be all right and putting her finger up to her mouth so that I wouldn’t talk. I got out of the hospital the next day. I could walk all right but they made me get in a wheelchair. I asked my mom and my dad about Sarah and Cookie and they said that everything was all right and that we’d talk about that later. I couldn’t understand why they weren’t mad and why they were so nice to me. After a while I started to think that everything was okay with Sarah and Cookie, but when I asked whether I could go play with them, my mom said it was time for me to sit down. My dad came in from the other room. He said he and my mom were happy that I was alive and that Sarah was still in the hospital but she would be okay. Then it got quiet. I could feel my heart beating and the pee coming. My mom looked at my dad and my dad looked back at her and then my dad said that Cookie was dead. He said it the same way he’d said it when my grandfather died, only my grandfather had died in his sleep. I peed in my pants. I cried even though my mom said no one was at fault. I told them about the pigeons and how we were trying to get some. My dad kept saying I learned an awful lesson the same way my mom said Betty was a woman with problems so that I felt bad. A man came. My dad said he was going to ask about the fire and that I had to be honest. I told him about the pigeons and Sarah and Cookie. He asked whose idea it was to start the fire. I said it was Cookie’s idea, only I didn’t like saying it because it made it sound like Cookie’s fault. I tried to tell him about the wind, but the man only wanted to know who had the matches. I didn’t answer until he said was it Cookie? I shook my head yes. When the man left my mom and dad said they were proud of me for telling the truth. I felt bad and like I was going to pee. I wanted to see Sarah, only my mom and dad said no, that we were moving to a new part of town where I was going to have new friends. 6
Fire I didn’t do well in the new school. My mom and dad said it was normal and that soon everything would be fine. I wanted it to be fine. Only I felt hollow inside. I kept thinking of Betty and that I didn’t belong at home anymore. I wanted to see Sarah and to go over to Cookie’s dad and tell him I was sorry and that it was only the wind and that Sarah and me wanted everything to be all right. It was hard getting away. My mom and dad never left me alone. They drove me to school. I had to sneak away at lunch. I wasn’t sure how to go to get to Sarah’s. I stopped at the grocery store. I saw a man who I knew from when I went shopping with my mom. I asked him if he knew Sarah’s mom Betty and if he could tell me how to get to her house. He was nice. He gave me a donut out of a box and told me to wait a minute, that he would be right back. I waited a long time. I wasn’t hungry but I ate the donut. Then the grocery man came back and told me it would be a few more minutes. My mom came through the door. She grabbed me by the arm hard and said thank you to the grocery man and dragged me outside. She started screaming about me running away from school and turning into a boy with problems. My legs got weak and I fell down. My mom screamed at me to get on my feet, only it seemed like I didn’t have legs anymore. She screamed louder until the grocery man came out and she calmed down and said he doesn’t want to get in the car. The grocery man picked me up and put me in the back seat. On the way home my mom kept yelling, only I couldn’t tell what she was saying. Nothing made sense. When I got to my room I laid in bed and stared at the funny little things in the wallpaper. I felt hollow inside like I was floating around in nothingness. The next day I went back to school. I had to read a story out loud about a girl who gets carried through the air by an umbrella. The wind is blowing hard and up in the sky there are pigeons and bluebirds.
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Fire I liked the story. I didn’t like having to read it out loud, but I knew Sarah and Cookie would like it except that it would be better with rabbits and potatoes in it. We had red potatoes for dinner that night. It made me feel better eating them. I told my mom and dad the story about the girl and the umbrella, which made them happy because I learned it at school and didn’t made any mistakes when I read it. I didn’t say anything about the girl reminding me of Sarah.
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Fire Copyright Š 2015 by Rick Nau Published by Dancing Pen Books www.dancingpenbooks.com PUBLISHING HISTORY The Augusta Spectator Cover: Wheatfield With Crows, Vincent van Gogh Illustration by Teresa Harper Reprinted with permission of Bill Harper All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or otherwise, without the prior permisson of the author, except as provided by USA copyright law. First Web Edition March 2015
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