How To Cope With An Affair

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How To Cope With An Affair It’s pretty much proven now. All those late-night phone calls and unexplained credit card charges really were signs that your loved one was stepping out on you. How the heck are you supposed to handle things now? 1. Seek professional help in dealing with everything. 2. Enlist trusted friends and family to be a support system for you, no matter what you decide to do about your relationship now 3. Stay cool 4. Don’t lose your dignity 5. Don’t lash out 6. Don’t beat yourself up 7. Weigh your options – all of them. 8. Take your time – don’t rush into hasty decisions or moves that may backfire on you in the long run 9. If you take comfort in prayer, pray for forgiveness and healing – for all of you; yourself, your family, your partner AND your partner’s lover (Surprisingly, he or she is possibly the most innocent victim of all because many adulterers don’t even let a new love interest know they’re married or in a committed relationship until very strong bonds and expectations have already formed). 10. Take care of yourself emotionally, physically, psychologically. Depending on how you both now wish to proceed, it will be time for either serious marriage counseling or legal advice. Your choice of next step will have everything to do with how to cope. If you both want to stay in your marriage and work through this ultimate betrayal of trust, then you need to schedule sessions with your therapist both together and alone.

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Seek your counselors’ advice and guidance on new ways to communicate, re-establish intimacy or tackle tricky discussions civilly and constructively. Even if, on the other hand, you mutually decide to go your separate ways, you’ll want a therapist in addition to lawyers to help you make the split amicably. Especially if there are young children involved, it’s best to remain civil and fair with each other if at all possible. You’ll also want family counseling to help your children deal with the massive hurt, confusion and traumatic changes ahead. If it’s already exploded into an ugly, bridge-burning mess, you still need support, guidance, good legal advice and all the friends you can gather. Your life is going to change. Unless you two manage to work it out and continue your committed relationship, you’ll feel it most deeply: • On Christmas or Hanukkah • Valentine’s Day • Your birthday • Your partner’s birthday • You children’s birthdays • When ‘your’ show, song or movie comes on • When your dog or cat either roams the house looking for your missing mate, or is taken away by your missing mate • Your children’s ‘firsts’ (first word, first tooth, first graduation, first bike ride, first dance, etc.) Whatever you do, should you decide to end your relationship, don’t blame yourself. Kicking yourself only stalls your healing process. And yes, it will be a process. There will be stages and fluctuations, progress and relapse, anger, grief, guilt, rage, despondency – the whole gamut of emotions. The best advice is to let yourself acknowledge them, feel them but don’t indulge them/prolong them. Allowing yourself to settle into a bitter outlook will alienate the people you need most – friends and possible new romantic interests.

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Most of all, be kind to yourself.

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Visit www.BustACheatingPartner.com To Catch A Cheating Spouse Or Partner


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