Mistakes To Avoid When Trying To Catch A Cheating Partner The evidence is mounting, and so is your desperation, anger or fear. Like in any other high-stress situation (like the death of parent, for instance), you are not thinking clearly. You can’t. Your world is being shattered – even if it’s only in your own fearful mind. The main thing you want to do is slow down. Give your head and heart a chance to clear. Search the depths of your soul for what you really want to happen next. • Divorce (you’re one foot out the door, anyway) • Find and kill the bitch/bastard who’s tearing your family apart (While understandable, NOT a real option!) • Reconciliation – get over the issue and go on together • Healing – repair whatever was broken that lead t the affair and bring the romance back • A truce for the kid’s sake. Affairs can become much more volatile and dramatic once they’re found out than when they’re still hidden. The trickiest part, though, is not putting yourself in danger should your attempts to spy on your wayward mate go awry, and not sabotaging a perfectly good, or fixable marriage, by running off half-cocked, shooting and asking questions later. So get a game plan in place. Ask yourself: • Are you looking for evidence for a divorce? If so, if you’ve already decided the marriage is broken and you don’t care to fix it, then hire a good PI and get the evidence that will stand up in your court trial, or that will convince your mate to roll over and give you the settlement you seek out of court. It will also keep YOU out of the equation until the results are in, protecting your image, your dignity and your mission. • Do you want to save your marriage? Are you seeking proof only so you can either find a way to heal the rift in your relationship or move on with your life, if you have to? Then you can try gathering you own evidence and asking a professional counselor or therapist for step-by-step guidance and support. Visit www.BustACheatingPartner.com To Catch A Cheating Spouse Or Partner
• Do you plan to stay with him or her no matter what, but your curiosity is just killing you? Then seek out your therapist and support system and hold your breath for the pain. Many marriages do put up with known infidelity for years, or lifetimes. It depends what you want, and if your spouse is the ‘kind’ sort who is happy to keep providing for the family while maintaining a lover on the side, or the ‘mean’ sort who will use your desire to keep him or her, no matter what, as license to become emotionally or physically abusive. OK, now that you have a clear picture, let’s look at what you DON’T want to do, whatever your goals, ESPECIALLY without rock-solid proof that there is, indeed an affair going on. DO NOT: 1. Lose your dignity. This is just a losing proposition all the way around. No shouting, screaming, throwing things, threats, dramatics, violence, vandalism. 2. Be caught snooping. What if she’s innocent? What if he’s not, but now he’s mad? 3. Put yourself at legal or physical risk. You don’t want to end up in jail or in court defending yourself! 4. Confront the ‘other’ man or woman. No love affair was ever ended because the hurt spouse whined about it. They are together because, as much as you hate it, they have feelings for each other, and those feelings actually may have some value. Frankly, too, it is your spouse, not the ‘other’, who is more to blame. Your mate might not have been up front. Many innocent women and even men have fallen helplessly in love with someone they were fooled into thinking was single and available. Once those bonds form it’s VERY hard to break them – actually, just as hard as it is for you to lose the one you love. 5. Enlist the help of friend or family to confront or ‘talk to’ the other man or woman. 6. Confront your spouse. Accusations, broken trust, sneaky underhanded behavior might just make your mate want to get as far from you as possible – especially if he or she was innocent!
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DO: 1. Take care of yourself, pray, eat well, confide in trusted friends, seek advice and legal counsel 2. Try to be understanding and look at both sides. Is there just the slightest possibility that you weren’t completely blameless, yourself? Don’t beat yourself up about it but maybe you can forgive and let go more gently – or mutually come back together. 3. Protect your assets. No matter what, it doesn’t hurt to have your own account, savings, insurance, etc. 4. Be willing to listen and ask questions, rather than just blame and accuse and talk to vent at him or her. Your mate may actually have something constructive to say that’s worth hearing. 5. Be willing to let go. If that’s what’s best, once the dust settles, keep your heart open and stay kind and allow new good to come into both your lives. Life is too short to hold grudges.
To find out how to catch a cheating spouse or partner, visit www.BustACheatingPartner.com.
Visit www.BustACheatingPartner.com To Catch A Cheating Spouse Or Partner