Why Revenge Is Not The Best Way To Deal With A Cheating Partner We know it hurts. The temptation to exchange the helpless hurt you’re feeling with a stronger, meaner emotion like revenge might seem like a great change for you – but trust us, you really don’t want to ‘go there’. Anger can be self-perpetuating. Rather than dissipate and leave you calm or happy, anger can linger behind to become a festering grudge that is never satisfied. We’ve all read books or seen movies (Moby Dick is one example) where the obsession for revenge ends up bringing down everyone involved, innocent or not, including the revengeseeker – but paradoxically sometimes not the object of the revenge. Yet, even if the revenge is successful, who actually wins? No one. Here are some reasons why seeking revenge is the wrong move; • Think about the example you’re setting for your children • Do you want your friends and neighbors to begin seeing you as unbalanced? • If your spouse is actually innocent, do you want to lose face in front of him or her? • What if you are hurt or embarrassed as a result? • What if your boss or coworkers found out? It might cost you your job • What about your personal integrity? •What about your dignity? • Do you really want to end up in the headlines, dead, jailed or hospitalized? • Is ‘getting even’ going to get you what you REALLY want, which is the loving relationship and life you had before? If there is any hope of ever having reconciliation, your actions must remind your loved one of what he or she first fell in love with when you met – not a raging, mean-spirited maniac. The same goes for how a jury or judge might see you. The out-of-control or vindictive party doesn’t win the sympathy of the court. Even deeper than this, what about your personal spiritual or religious beliefs? Most faiths teach the healing qualities of forgiveness and prayer, rather than pettiness or vengeance. Visit www.BustACheatingPartner.com To Catch A Cheating Spouse Or Partner
If you must lash out, do it harmlessly. Write it out. DON’T send it, but write it down. Talk to your spouse in a letter. Don’t do this in email (it’s too easy to send). Write it in Word or another word-processing program or by hand on a piece of paper or in your journal. Talk to him or her frankly, openly. Tell him how much it hurts, how she emasculated you and crushed your heart. Tell him you hate him at that moment or that you hope she never finds someone else to love or who will love her as much as you did. Hold nothing back! This is your place to vent, to work out — and through — your feelings of hurt, betrayal, loss of self-esteem, your disappointment in him, your disappointment in yourself. DON’T SEND IT. Seal it. Put it someplace safe. In the freezer, perhaps. Then, forget about it. Let it go. Send it away in a prayer or through meditation. Then later, take it out and have a ritual to destroy it. Burn it, bury it, flush it. The symbolism of it all will take hold in your subconscious. You are ready to move on without those negative and destructive feelings. If you had very deep-seated anger, people would understand that, and if you’re able to work through it to grow beyond your current limitations, people (incljuding you!) will admire, rather than condemn, you. Continue your growth. Seek out a competent therapist or therapy group. Talk and get support from others who’ve been in your shoes. Help someone else who is hurting. Even meditate on really and truly forgiving both your wayward spouse and the object of his or her affair. We’re all only human, after all, and we all want and need love, security, friendship and stability. Perhaps there is a fuller and more rewarding relationship in your future.
Visit www.BustACheatingPartner.com To Catch A Cheating Spouse Or Partner
To find out how to catch a cheating spouse or partner, visit www.BustACheatingPartner.com.
Visit www.BustACheatingPartner.com To Catch A Cheating Spouse Or Partner