The Beauty of Boredom

www.DanvilleLivingCA.com

@DanvilleLivingCA

By Peggy Arman, The Dorris-Eaton School

“I'm bored" is often accompanied by eye rolling and slumped posture, which sends many of today’s parents into “uberparent mode.” If kids are bored, soccer, piano, and Spanish may not be enough. Should an art class be added? With the best of intentions, many parents believe they should eliminate periods of time when their children aren’t feeling entertained or stimulated. However, when the majority of the day is choreographed by the adults, children miss valuable lessons and skills acquired from unscheduled time. Experiencing boredom and constructively responding to it sets realistic expectations for life, stimulates creativity, and cultivates self-reliance.

In the 70’s and 80’s when a road trip didn’t entail downloading podcasts, movies, or games, siblings had to figure out how to fend off boredom. Discussions often centered around which radio station to listen to and what game to play. Territorial disputes - the comical “You’re on my side!” complaint - developed the ability to negotiate. For the most part, parents left children to settle their own quarrels, so they learned to work together and compromise. Trial and error allowed children to identify strategies that work, honing their powers of persuasion. Running out of things to do is also fertile ground to develop creativity and imagination.

Unforeseen things happen when children experience monotony. Adding another class is not what’s needed, and parents aren’t neglecting their responsibilities by providing unstructured time. Boredom is useful. Eliminating the “noise” that comes from video games, television, and electronic devices opens a space for discovery. Building a fort, concocting something in the kitchen, or drawing may be how time is spent. When children are responsible for entertaining themselves--they day dream, create stories, or invent. Great ideas, and some not so great, are born in quiet time. It’s the process that takes place that’s valuable. When everything isn’t exciting or it takes several attempts to make something work, children develop a realistic view of life.

Parents know every aspect of their job isn’t entertaining, enriching, or stimulating. This is not to say a chosen occupation isn’t meaningful… every part of a career isn’t. There are mundane tasks to be done. When children have to struggle with disinterest, they come to the realization that not all parts of life are enjoyable. By providing times for children to grapple with humdrum activities and constructively cope, parents are countering the life their children see on Instagram or SnapChat, where life is portrayed as a series of good times.

Raising children in this age of soccer moms, helicopter parents, tiger moms, and most recently, lawnmower parents, can make it difficult to determine how much parental involvement is best for children. Balancing the opportunities inherent in quality extra-curricular activities with the realities of daily living is the key. Providing down time for your children and having them responsible for tackling the possible dullness prepares them for life after they leave home. The beauty of boredom is the skills your children acquire as they work through tedium.

Source: Pamela Paul’s New York Times article “Let Children Get Bored Again.”