Dare Magazine by BPM MAGAZINE

dare /der/ verb

1) HAVE THE COURAGE TO DO SOMETHING 2) DEFY OR CHALLENGE ( SOMEONE ) TO DO SOMETHING

DA R E E X P LA I N E D b y D r N i c h o l a s B r i f f a , C l i n i c a l Ps y c h o l o g y Pr a c t i t i o n e r a n d S e x o l o g i s t

Society is coloured by many different kinds of people, leading completely different lives. Of which, we find Sensation Seekers, who naturally take risks during the course of their life. Most of them are people in business who are constantly taking risks to innovate, invest and ultimately remain competitive. Sensation Seekers are not fans of the status quo – instead they often seek to challenge it. Their aim is to continuously spice up the ‘monotony’ of ‘normal life’, so to speak. They do not particularly enjoy routine and would do something out-of-the box like resigning from a job, take unpaid leave, travel the world, or pursue something that truly fulfils them. To DARE means to be able to let go of something in order to acquire something else. On the other hand, we meet others who prefer to stick to their comfort zone – a secure and comfortable place that allows them to remain at ease with themselves. They enjoy having the certainty of ‘now’. Both life choices are perfectly OK. What we need to keep in mind is taking calculated risks. A DARE can be used either to our gain or loss. A good DARE does not endanger me, or anyone else, either physically or psychologically. A good DARE brings joy and growth, both to myself and to others inspired by my story.

Interviewees Ali Bosios Christian Colombo Christina Clejman Fr Rob Galea Jeannine Vassallo Matthew Camilleri Ryan Falzon Ryan Farrugia Simon Sutton Steve Mercieca Terence Agius Victoria Cutajar Photography Giovanni Grixti Rainer Von Helin Filming Benji Sammut Models Antonio Privitera Carl Vella Gabriella Borg Mau Nedkov Robert Agius Supernova Model Management Psychologist Nicholas Briffa Printshop

T H A N K S Kellimni.com Satisfashion Jewellry Kristyann Agius MOAS - Migrant Offshore Aid Station Net News Matthew Mamo Newsbook Yendrick Cioffi The Nordic Bar Miroslav Balo Keith Formosa CityLounge Faculty of Communications Prof. Noellie Brockdorff Dr Gorg Mallia Student Help Desk Elton Mamo Jonathan Camilleri Communications and Fine Arts Students Organisation

European Pilot Academy Jeremy Gatt Matthew Rota

Insite Magazine

BMX Malta Karl Naja

Tutor Malcolm Bonello

Third Eye Malta

HOPPING THROUGH CONTINENTS SOLO

GHOST HUNTING

PRIEST ON TOUR

BARE: EXPLORING LIFE IN NUDE PHOTOGRAPHY

NAKED TRUTH

FROM MALTESE MANIAC TO MOGUL

GUARDIANS OF THE SEA

DODGING BULLETS

HELP ON THE OTHER END

NOT FOR MONEY, HONEY

BECOMING ME

THE PREACHER BECOMES THE CONVERTED

DARE TEAM

IN SANITY

SWAPPING PACEVILLE FOR POLITICS

HOPPING THROUGH CONTINENTS

SOLO

Just over a year ago, when Karl Stivala decided to pack a bag and travel the world solo, he had no idea where his journey would take him and how far he had already come without even going anywhere. Tired of working in suits for most of his career, having landed a string of executive roles in finance - all without a single O-level but an armful of experience in family business - Karl made a pact with himself never to work in an another industry that required him to wear formal attire to do his job. This is when his life began to take a “fantastic spiritual turn”. “In a sense, my journey began long before I left Malta because every aspect of life is about travelling and it is imperative that we fully understand the true essence of it. After years of failed relationships, suicidal jobs and a consistent feeling of being lost, I decided that I’ve had enough. I knew what I needed to do without even thinking about it. I decided to stop planning the future and start living right now”. “I landed in Perth, Western Australia on a scorching Summer day, with just one change of clothes in my bag and a lot of butterflies in my stomach”. But Karl quickly got down to business,

bought a car and found himself a farm job in a small farming town called Northam. For the next two months, he lived with “an amazing family” who took Karl in “like one of their own”. Karl was now working back-breaking 12 hour shifts from Monday to Sunday, enduring freezing temperatures in the morning and scorching heat by noon. After leaving the farm with a pocket full of Australian currency and a bundle of survival knowledge that the farmer taught him, he decided to travel North for a month-long road trip. “Long distance travel in Australia is no joke. You need to be prepared mentally, physically and financially - although I’ve met backpackers who survive on literally no money – zero, nada – and yet manage to travel all around the world and survive comfortably”. Karl also explains how travelling has changed his concept of money. “Rather than working for money, I decided to start working for myself. My focus shifted towards finding work that may not benefit me much financially, but will teach me skills that make my journey a pleasant one”.

BY MARIA CALLUS 10

With a few thousand miles under his belt, he found himself in a charming little pearling town on the coast called Broome and set his mind on getting a pearling job on a boat. “One week after my arrival, I was on a pearling boat setting out for a 10-day trip for a trial to decide my fate. I spent four and a half months on an amazing adventure with this company who fully understood my potential and completely appreciated my hard work”. I had to leave my pearling job in November and set sail to Malta to attend my youngest sister’s wedding. “In spite of the wonderful experiences that Oz had to offer, it was quite refreshing to be back home”. After two weeks in Malta, Karl packed his bags once again and was off to Nepal for a 3-month adventure. “After a few weeks of travelling around and exploring a land I had never set foot on, I randomly bump into an old friend, Hannah Cremona, whilst having my breakfast in the city of Pokhara. So we shared a little hug and she starts telling me how she’s been dedicating hours of her life for a school called Maya Universe, a youth movement that provides free education in rural Nepal”. Karl explained how the school brings teachers from all over the world to give the children exposure to the teacher’s language and culture. And so, a few days later, Karl was the school’s English teacher, working with a “remarkable set of students that are so smart and quite possibly the future for saving Nepal from poverty that corruption that currently exists”. Five weeks later, Karl decided to move on with his journey and embarked on a 3-day trek in the Jungles of Chitwan National Park, where he “came face-to-face” with wild black rhinos and Asian elephants. “It was quite magical, especially at night”.

Next stop: India. From freezing Nepal to a beachfront hut hugging the ocean on Goa beach, where he still lives at the time of writing. “True peace”, he puts it simply. But finding such peace did come at a price. “Throughout my travels, having no one but myself for company, I’ve learnt how I held a deep attachment to the past; how I was still feeling pain for mistakes that happened 3 or 4 years ago. Learning how to break through the years of constant emotional prison that I put myself through, almost felt like having a ton of weight lifted from my inner core. I started to feel happier and knew that I could enhance this new way of living”.

I F I N A L LY UNDERSTOOD THAT YOU DO NOT NEED TO GO ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD, AND YOU DO NOT NEED ANYTHING, TO BE H A P P Y.

“I finally understood that you do not need to go anywhere in the world, and you do not need anything, to be happy. I am by myself for a reason, I thought. In order for me to be happy with others, I have to learn how to be happy alone. I removed the need to have a ‘someone’ to be happy. That was the best moment of my trip”. As fun and adventurous as it may have felt, Karl certainly did think twice before leaving the island. He recalls upsetting his boss at the time, who “turned bright red and could barely mumble congratulations to me. I also share a special bond with my mother and I knew that it breaks her seeing me leave, but ultimately she understood”, he smiles. “I was also faced with a tantalising fear of getting old, of ending up without money, of wasting my life, of being alone, of getting robbed - all these fears held me back. But they were all created by the mind. You create your own challenges, I constantly told myself, and that helped me liberate myself from these self-made challenges”. So what’s next for the free-spirited traveller? “I have my eyes set on a business venture back in Malta, but then again, plans change all the time so who knows?”, he grins. I asked Karl whether he thinks his journey is a daring one. Daring? No, this is just life”.

GHOS THUN T I NG 14

KAROLINA NAJA SPEAKS TO VICTORIA CUTAJAR ABOUT HER EXPERIENCE WITH THE SUPERNATURAL Who likes to hear ghost stories? I know I do. Ghost stories are always intriguing and fun to hear, whether you’re a believer or a non-believer. They are stories with history, mystery, and thrills that captivate our attention. I met Victoria Cutajar through a friend and she told me all about her visit to a haunted house and about a particular picture there that shocked her. I contacted Vicky and she was eager to share her story with me. As a child, Vicky never thought that at twentytwo she’d be going on a ghost hunt with some of her close friends but she reveals that she had always had an interest in paranormal activity. She explained; ‘Even from a very young age I always questioned religion. I think it’s had a kind of influence in peaking my interest’. Vicky identifies herself as an atheist; she doesn’t believe in anything and thinks that maybe this lack of faith is what drove her to discover other conventions. However, how does one exactly decide to actively seek out ghosts?, ‘my boyfriend suggested this ghost hunt and I didn’t hesitate to say yes.’ She said. ‘I try everything. Whatever pops into my mind, unless it's harmful I want to try it’. Vicky then tells me her experience of her first ghost hunt. She and seven of her close friends went to an abandoned house in Marsaxlokk; known to be ‘haunted’. Armed with just some torches and rope at midnight, they entered the abandoned building eager to see what they could find.

‘I was so excited the first time. From my end it was serious and I paid a lot of attention to detail.’ She said smiling. The group moved through the rooms together, however they agreed that they would not say anything to fully take in the experience of possibly roaming a haunted house. Vicky laughed at this, ‘my friends weren’t taking it as seriously I was, they were laughing a lot.’, although she did counteract that they probably were laughing to calm their nerves as some were scared going into it. Vicky presses that when in the house, if someone felt or heard anything they’d mention it in their next meet up. ‘We agreed to that because that way we would be able to control our mind. If i was feeling a chill and brought it up maybe the other person would start feeling it also’. The group parted ways two hours later and made plans to share their findings such as pictures or recordings on another night. However, Vicky reveals that the only person who had something to show was herself. She presented to the group a picture she had taken in one of the rooms. She said that in the picture two figures could be seen; a man and a young boy, side by side. Intrigued; they asked friends who lived in the area if they knew anything about the house; it was rumoured that a man and his son had died there before the son’s holy communion. Vicky remained skeptical. When referring to the picture she said; ‘‘I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes. My other friends started believing and they started panicking. They really believed.’. Vicky then told me that they ventured to another two places that were rumoured to be haunted; a warehouse in Kalkara and another abandoned building in Valletta. More than anything, I was intrigued to know how Vicky and her group chose these places ‘We chose the Kalkara warehouse because there were rumours of a murder. We try to choose the place that has a reputation of being haunted, we also go on the internet, we do research and find something about the place.’ Unfortunately, it seemed that Vicky had never witnessed any concrete evidence of the supernatural in any of these places. I asked her

if in her personal life, she had any supernatural encounters outside of these ghost hunts; ‘Sometimes when I’m driving I see shadows on the pavement and when I ask the person who is next to me if they saw anything they always say no.’ She laughs and says that it is probably her mind playing games. ‘For now, I don’t believe in the supernatural but I would investigate if someone went into a haunted house and had seen something. I would go myself to see if I find something.’ At this point I was confused. Did Vicky believe or not? Seeing my expression she smiled and said that it sounds very contradicting. ‘Even if I feel or hear something, I’m still skeptical. My whole life is like this. For example I listen to heavy metal but I do yoga. My life is a contradiction, even my thoughts, I ask a lot of questions and want to experience things again just to make sure. Feeling or hearing something is not enough.’.

Although she does not believe in the supernatural, Vicky goes into these endeavors with an open mind. She believes that the mind can play a lot of tricks on you when you put yourself in these types of situations. Sometimes someone might see or hear something because they force their mind to see or feel it no matter if you believe or not. ‘‘We have to go to these places with an open mind and let go. We went in with no expectations.’ I ask Vicky if she’s waiting for something to make her believe in the supernatural, to this her eyes widened ‘I have to see something with my own eyes! If I’m sure of what I saw, then that would be the last time for sure!’, I laugh at this, I guess everyone has their breaking point of how much fear they can take. She knows ghost hunting in Malta is not normal, to her that is why it is daring. ‘It’s not a normal thing to do, but I’m also not a normal person.’

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P R I E S T T O U R

O N

BY MARIA CALLUS

Tattoos and priests are not usually part of the same sentence, and neither are bicep curls and evangelisation. Fr Rob Galea really is a priest like none other and it’s precisely this random equation that’s turning the singing evangelist into a household name worldwide. Fr Rob is an ordained catholic priest, currently serving in the diocese of Victoria, Australia after moving from Malta, his home country, in 2006.Throughout the years, he has gathered an international fan base as a singer and songwriter, sharing the stage with iconic worship bands like Hillsong United and was a contestant in Australia’s 2015 ‘The X Factor’.

MUSIC IS THE LA N G U AG E O F T H E H E A R T. W H E R E W O R D S F A L L S H O R T, MUSIC SPEAKS TO THE DEPTH OF THE SOUL.

Fr Rob claims that his passion is, first and foremost to draw others to the heart of God. “I get to work with over 200,000 teenagers each year. I am often overwhelmed by the desire and thirst for love in these teens. I have witnessed with my own eyes many of these teens coming to realise that they are loved and accepted, no matter their background, pain, addiction or orientation. This really is what it’s all about”.

He believes that music is an important instrument in helping people understand the need for intimacy with God. In his own words, “Music is the language of the heart. Where words fall short, music speaks to the depth of the soul. I have too often seen hearts melt and souls quickened when my band and I communicate God’s unconditional love through music”.

God’s love and teachings, especially through the ‘Stronger’ Youth Program, which incorporates a series of youth retreats, rallies and small group meetings. “Youth have for too long been seen as the future of the world and the church. They are not the future, but the present and very much need to be taken seriously. I have chosen to do that”. To date, Fr Rob has released seven music projects and has become somewhat of a celebrity – having fame and recognition across the globe. But in light of such success, one might ask whether his mission is self-centred, deviating thus from the humility that Christianity is built upon. “Many can assume that, and the temptation is surely there”, he puts it simply, “but God knows I would choose a quiet life over a popular one any day, if I had the choice. How do I respond to critics? I just don’t”. Moreover, the ‘FRG Ministry’ was established as a company in 2015, in order to assist with the apostolate of Fr Rob, whose demand to speak and sing at schools, conferences and concerts is increasing at an overwhelming rate. But isn’t faith supposed to be free? How does he justify having a commercial entity, and thus seeking profitability, to evangelise the love of God? To this he answers: “I’m very transparent about where all the money goes. The little we make goes back into youth outreach and evangelisation. I make no money for myself”, he says clearly and firmly. During his international tours, Fr Rob visits schools, mainly secondary schools, with the sole purpose of sharing “the Good News, in a relevant and meaningful way”. It is very evident that Fr Rob is incredibly passionate about sharing

He believes that this mission and calling, is in fact quite daring. “I moved to Australia for a working holiday. I never planned to stay, but circumstances led me here. I never asked or sought fame and recognition, I am often in awe at how I get to do what I do today”. The price he pays for all this is an insurmountable feeling of fear. “I get scared to do what I do each day. I am naturally an introvert. Each time I face a crowd, each time I write a song or speak to a young person I have to ‘do it scared’”. “But in spite of my fear and doubt”, he quickly adds, “I just followed my heart”. Fr Rob is now busy working on a new book and a new EDM album. His vision for the next five years? “I hope to be more in love with Jesus than I am now”.

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S T R E E T S & S A X O P H O N E S It is one of the warmest mornings this winter season in Malta’s busy capital, as I sit with Ryan Farrugia a young Maltese busker, for the first time. Despite the impression of mystery exuded by his long hair and pierced ears, not to mention his tendency to keep his sunglasses on, Ryan greets me the same way as the day does, radiating optimism and positivity. As we approach one of Valletta’s glorious gardens and perch ourselves comfortably on a warm bench away from the sun’s glare, the young performer begins to answer my questions related to his unconventional lifestyle and experiences. Ryan’s first street performance happened two years ago, when the idea to busk “arose unexpectedly”. It was for the sake of experience, he reveals, a little experiment - “I just told myself: ‘I’m going to play my saxophone in a public place and see what follows’”. Ryan describes his outdoor first music performance as “pure joy”, feeling as if this activity allowed him to “project a piece of [his] soul”. As a result, Ryan was rewarded with a few coins from those who enjoyed listening to him play. In addition, he explains that busking is a “sensitive” act, one which leaves you relatively vulnerable to the opinions of people on the street and society. In Ryan’s words, busking leaves you “naked”. By this point, Ryan’s words have secured my intrigue. “What makes busking difficult?”, I ask, more curious than ever. “The weather conditions and the stupid people”, he replies, then pauses.

“It’s more the adults than the teenagers, really”, Ryan continues, “who would judgmentally look at me play and say something offensive”. Another nuisance, according to the young busker, is being filmed by many fancy iPhones and smartphones, resulting in the circulation of countless videos on social media. “They hear, but they do not listen”, he asserts, admittedly stating that this makes him feel like a “statue” or an “artefact”. Ryan continues to describe one of his most unpleasant busking experiences to date, when somebody threw a rock and an umbrella at him while he was performing in Valletta. “Luckily”, he sighs, “the saxophone was not the target”. Such negative experiences, Ryan reveals, “affect [him] totally”, adding, “I become slightly paranoid and ask myself ‘am I playing well?’ or ‘am I repeating too much stuff?’”. However, these confusing emotions do not last for long, as he believes that such actions are merely a projection of people’s ignorance and a “misconception of life”. Ryan starts to roll a cigarette, and I notice an anxious look on his face. Whether this is because the interview is causing some tension, or because he has realised he is running out of tobacco, he continues to recall his more pleasant experiences, and his expression changes immediately. “Girls would give me their numbers”, he grins, “and once, a bar owner appreciated my musical effort so much he let me drink for free”. Above all, Ryan reveals his most cherished minute – when a man burst into tears while Ryan was performing, “he actually hugged and thanked me, and that made

BY IRINA KVASHALI

me feel that I have affected him in some positive way”, he says with a smile. As our afternoon chat continues, we move onto the subject of Ryan’s recent travels to Serbia, carrying nothing but his saxophone and a few coins in his pocket. What triggered this adventure, he announces, was a “starvation for an escape”. Although his initial plan was to busk throughout the whole Balkan Peninsula, the street performer enthusiastically clarifies that he remained in Serbia because “nobody went there”. He argues that people often refer to western states, such as the United Kingdom or France as countries to visit but explains that his desire was to travel to an “unpopular” place with a “grim past”. Serbia, according to Ryan, allowed him to come into contact with people who have experienced a difficult history and taught him to familiarise himself with Belgrade’s street atmosphere. Under such circumstances, the young street musician, along with a handful of other people, occupied an abandoned building as a place to live in - an activity known as “squatting”. Here, Ryan encountered persons from a plethora of different backgrounds, many of which were part of subcultures such as the ‘punk’ and ‘hippie’ subcultures. With regards to his financial

‘I’M G O I N G TO P LAY MY SAXOPHONE IN A P U B L I C P LA C E A N D S E E W H AT F O L LOW S’

situation, busking in Belgrade secured Ryan for four to five days. He goes on to describe one of his more remarkable memories: “On a terribly cold day, to keep warm, I had to buy another layer of clothing”, he reveals, pointing out the thick jersey he donned for the interview for added emphasis, “I could not afford it due to the lack of money”. However, in spite of feeling bitterly cold, he chose to continue playing his saxophone to passers-by for roughly thirty minutes, leaving him with enough to purchase the garment. By the same token, Ryan recalls periods of time he can only describe as “hell”. “There were days when I did not even have money for bread”, he says, “so I went to the square, played my saxophone and made enough money to eat, drink and make my friends drunk”. In a few months, Ryan plans to busk around Europe: “I’m just going to backpack and see where I end up”. Currently, he is going through what he refers to as a “period of hibernation”. In other words, he is taking the time to reflect on life and understand what he wants from it. He emphasises his desire to be happy and make the lives of other people joyful; to stop thinking and “just be”. Finally, just out of sheer curiosity, I ask the saxophonist to tell me something about the dark shades he has been wearing all morning, instilling an enormous amount of curiosity in those around him. “[I] just bought them today”, Ryan replies, punctuating his statement with a chuckle, “I broke my previous ones in a rage of fury. Some people were being a little annoying, so instead of punching them, which the social order forbids me from doing, I broke my sunglasses”. I dissolve into laughter and question whether it felt good in the end. He says, in an honest response, “not enough, as I still wanted to break a couple of bones,” and finally takes his sunglasses off.

B A R E E X P L O R I N G L I F E I N N U D E P H O T O G R A P H Y BY IRINA KVASHALI

WONDERFUL IS IN THE WEIRD

After some time searching for photographer Alixandra Bosios’s home in Gozo, I find it under the name ‘Nuda’, and the gifted artist opens the door wearing a t-shirt emblazoned with the words ‘BE YOURSELF; EVERYONE ELSE IS ALREADY TAKEN’. Fitting, I thought, as Bosios is known to push the boundaries with her work, daring to shoot and experiment with work revolving entirely around women in their most vulnerable form - nudity. Upon arrival, I discover that she will be shooting in Malta in a few hours, but it soon becomes clear that there is no element of rush to today’s interview. Alixandra warmly welcomes me in and whips up a cup of coffee while my eyes wander around her stunningly designed home. Every corner constitutes a distinctive artistic element. I have entered the dwellings of a person with taste. “Do you mind?”, she asks, politely, as she signals to her tobacco packet on the table, before proceeding to roll her cigarette. She is beautifully tattooed, I realise, as I ask her what spurred her journey in nude photography. “My great grandfather was a famous painter in Malta”, she reveals, “Professor Giuseppe Briffa, who worked mostly with nudes”. As a result, Ali has been accustomed to, and finds no shame in, looking at the nude human body. “My family is used to it all”, she says, emphasising her statement with the fact that one can even find a “huge life-sized painting of a [nude] woman” in her grandmother’s house entrance. “I love working with everyday people”, Ali admits, adding that one of the duties in her work is to make individuals feel good about themselves and their bodies. “I have people who come to shoot with me after they go through something horrifying”, she states, “including rape and abuse”. In this manner, the young artist conceptualises herself as a “therapist” - one that helps these individuals overcome such painful events by capturing their natural beauty and, as a result, enhancing their confidence.

Despite helping people move on from their tragic past by making them believe in their attractiveness, Ali stresses her disinterest in shooting “long legged Victoria Secret models” with which our society has been bombarded for years. “I would get bored easily”, Ali explains, revealing that she usually searches for uncommon features, which are not usually considered “beautiful”. She illustrates an example of a broad forehead, stating that the “wonderful is in the weird”. Additionally, the young artist argues that the media has “put us all in a situation where we are obliged to believe and say, ‘I want to be like her’ or ‘I want to change my body’”. Ali angrily questions the reason for this and asks, “to whose standards?”. The talented artist recalls women asking her, at the end of some photoshoots, to remove their cellulite or stretch marks during the photo-editing phase. “When I shoot a mother who has many kids”, she clarifies, “I can see the changes in [her] body, the stretch marks are her story. She went through an incredibly tough journey to get them. That is what makes her body amazing”. At this point, I know that Ali is not only a daring artist due to her chosen demographic, but that she is an artist who dares others, who challenges them to accept their body as it is. Ali has made it her personal quest to convince others that any birthmarks, scars, spots, moles, beauty spots, freckles, wrinkles, obesity or thinness must still be perceived as attractive, because it is part of our nature and because “it is yours”. She explains all of this with a contagious enthusiasm and a warm smile. I cannot help but smile back at this incredibly charming woman. I ask the talented photographer how she succeeds in making people, especially those who are not in the modelling industry, undress in front of her. Never breaking eye contact as we talk, Ali replies with “it’s difficult because it takes a very long time”, adding, “time is a real barrier, but I’m very patient”. The photographer is brave

enough to approach potential subjects for a nude photoshoot: “it could be the way she walks that may be the root of inspiration to shoot her”, Ali says. Needless to say, when a model has been working with her for an extended period of time the situation is, of course, different. However, “when you are a first timer” getting unclothed “may take from an hour to eight”. The reason for this, Ali explains, is that the person must get comfortable to an extent that the individual is ready to let drop their insecurities and fears. Moreover, the “fine line” from uncomfortable to comfortable, “is the hardest bit of all” and “once the line is crossed, shooting becomes much easier”. Additionally, she also calls the “thin line” a “transition” - one where the individual goes from being fully clothed to being fully naked, and thus fully “vulnerable”. At the same time, Ali admits that observing this transformation is a beautiful experience, particularly because minor changes in the person, even in the model’s pupils, can be observed and appreciated. With regard to Ali’s personal preference of photoshoot locations, she reveals her weaknesses for abandoned spaces from a very young age. The talented photographer asserts that “whenever [she] see[s] ‘DO NOT ENTER’ or ‘THIS PREMISE IS UNSAFE AND HAS BEEN CONDEMNED’, [she] immediately know[s] that this is where the photoshoot will happen”. She adds with laughter, “when I find such places abroad; I just want to take a model out of my bag and shoot”. According to Ali, it is the desire to bring out the harsh contrast between something so dead and cold, to something so alive and warm as a human body. She later showed me some examples of her daring work, one of which is called “The Gas Mask Collection” - where a nude model wears a gas mask, in a rusty and corroded building. Ali looks around, giggles and says, “I am very much into morbid influences, you can see skulls everywhere”. Furthermore, Ali reveals that for the past three years, she has been gathering various erotic and often very dark fantasies from everyone who is willing to share this information

online, and continues to “turn it into artwork”. As a result, many works are pornographic and involve sex toys. She reveals her urge to create pornographic material in Japan because it is an “open-minded society with arcades of sexualised games”. By this token, many perceive Ali as a “pervert”, when in reality, she asserts, “I work with the things that people themselves have shared”. “What would you say to someone who wants to start out in nude photography?”, I ask. “First, you must pose yourself nude”, Ali replies, explaining, “I’m not referring to the mirror selfies or your partner in your bedroom, but”, she stresses, “in front of a stranger”. The photographer claims that showing your naked body and posing to someone new to you is a “totally different experience”. “When you are placed in a situation like this”, she concludes, “you then become aware of what it’s like to be that vulnerable”. The artist admits that, even though we live in a small religious community, she does not consider herself to be “daring”. She continues, “I’m just being myself, but society thinks that I’m pushing the boundaries”. When experiencing criticism from others, Ali reveals, “I take it badly with myself”, but only, “because my work is a piece of me”. However, when I ask Ali how she gets over it so quickly, she replies with a tranquil expression on her face, “I just place it on a shelf called ‘I don’t care about you’”.

NAKED TRUTH BY KATE GIBBS

We arrive at the door of his temporary Siggiewi house, Karl, our photographer and I, and were greeted by a firm handshake and a bright smile. Simon Sutton has an urgency about him, as if you can see him living every moment, making the most of life in real-time. His girlfriend received me with the most sincere hug I’ve ever gotten from a complete stranger. Sitting on a chair, mason jar of herbal tea in hand, Simon explains the reason for his untidiness. Tomorrow he is leaving for the Dominican Republic, to work with students in a local school there. This trip was ‘gifted’ to him by a woman as payment for attending one of the Naked Retreats that Simon runs.

“Naked for me is not just about nudity. Naked for me, is about transparency. Transparency is about freedom and liberation. You love, respect, accept yourself so much that you are not in a space of unworthiness. Nakedness is about how real you are, how true you are, how liberated you are”, his job as a sort of life-coach shines through in his eloquence. Every word draws you into his mindset, an open-minded, accepting mindset that can’t help but bring a smile to my face. Simon uniquely works through, in his words, the Gift Economy. Having no idea about the Gift Economy, I immediately imagined him bartering his knowledge of Yoga to feed, clothe and house

himself. “I was a criminal when I was younger and used to do a lot of bartering, because I was a thief, so it’s funny that you use that word. Basically, the Gift Economy calls back to the sacredness of exchange. What are the values someone has, what are the talents someone has, and how can we use them as a form of value?” “A lot of the events and workshops I do, I do from a place of ‘gift’. What gift means is gifting my time and energy, and whatever I want to bring to you , and you gift back what your heart wants to gift back for the experience. So I can’t judge what your value is. I’m into seeing the value of each unique human being and what value they might have right now, regardless of whether you have any money. In my experience, most people don’t know how to tap into that”. Simon speaks about the Gift Economy with such passion, it is clear that his realisation of this way of giving and receiving money has brought him happiness, a result which anyone thinking of providing for themselves through the Gift Economy might not expect to have. But to the modern person, it may seem like an unrealistic form of economy. “You have to have a lot of faith and trust in the ‘gift’. The gift works by first understanding that you are not in desperate need and knowing that you can show up knowing you don’t need anything back. Also, if you decide to do something through gifting, and you only get €10, you have to go away happy with that €10 just as you would be with €10,000. And that’s really difficult. It has to be a whole shift in mindset.” Simon went through a sort of metamorphoses during his life. The mindsets of the Simon of today and the Simon of his youth, are unrecognisable as being the same person. When he was a teen, Simon was very much into crime. Growing up in a council estate in England, he fell into the trap of becoming what he thought was the only thing his circumstance would allow

him to be. A burglar. Smoking Marijuana didn’t help either of course, and Simon found himself being arrested many times for petty theft and possession, with one arrest resulting in jail time for an accumulation of crimes. “My mentality has changed from what can I get, to what can I give. That was really damn hard. It took years to change. When I was into the world of crime, it was all about what can I get, and it’s coming from a survival mentality. Now I’ve shifted to a place of what can I give. What can I give to the world, what can I give to people, what can I give to myself? I’ve always been a nice guy, but in terms of my actions, they still caused a lot of harm. So now I’ve moved from harm to harmony. So now, the reaction is a twinkle in people’s eye rather than a scowl”. So what is next for the self-professed ‘Burglar to Buddah’? “More daring. I feel like I am very aligned to what it is that I’m doing and I want to serve, in terms of serving myself, serving others and serving the planet. We have become massively conditioned by fear, self-loathing, unworthiness and the story of imperfection. I want to go more into the world of where I grew up, places of crime and deprivation, and bring a seed of light there. I want to speak to the sixteen year old that I was and say ‘hey- there are thousands of different paths you can take if you want to’, but if they need to stay on the path they are on, that’s fine too. It’s about not telling people what they should do but giving them the option of having a choice. So, much of the same, really. Daring to inspire myself and others”. I found myself leaving as if I just had a long conversation with a close friend. Simon Sutton’s rejection of formal societal paths is a breath of fresh air to listen to. Every word is sincere and caring in a way that you feel like he has really thought about what he wants to say. He wants to better people through his Naked Retreats, through his unrestrained sense of trust and most importantly by showing unconditional love for other people.

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F RO M M A LT E S E MANIAC TO BUSINESS MOGUL

here are those very rare occasions in life where you get out of a meeting or a performance and your mind starts buzzing with ideas. You feel this sudden urge of adrenaline pulsing through you and you want to spread that positivity which has touched you just moments before. We sometimes meet with individuals that captivate us with their energy and enthusiasm; nothing seems to be able to break this transfixion. Steve Mercieca does simply that when talking about his passion, which is his dream achieved. From Maltese Maniac to morphing into a successful businessman opening up the Quicklets franchise and Zanzi Homes, comprising of six offices. He achieved heights in a short span of two years - something that was deemed to be rather impossible in such a competitive real estate industry. At one point during a talk he was giving at the University of Malta, he looked at his audience and said that his own father’s words were, “You will fail!” But that is the exact drive that he thrives on – achieving something which he was told that he cannot. A drive which most of us can probably relate to – proving others wrong.

BY MICHELLE MELISSA SCOT TO

‘Growing up I always wanted to do something different. I was always sort of the outcast. I used to always come up with different things’, recollected Steve looking back on his formative

years. He perceives himself as always having been a bit of a businessman. He described how at the age between four or five, he would set up a stand in the street and sell his mothers’ old books for 25c a piece. He commented on how he had a very good childhood, however he always had the thirst to change how things were, to come up with something new and innovative. When asked if he would consider himself as being a daring individual, in agreement Steve said, ‘I would say that yes, I always try to take the risk’. Some risks are taken on impulse, with a ‘screwit-let’s-do-it attitude, as Richard Branson puts it, he added. ‘But yes, I don’t like it when someone tells me that something can’t be done. If it can’t be done, I sort of think that it has to be done!’ Instead of going to University after attending Junior College, Steve Mercieca went to work in a bank. The mundane routine of having a 9 to 5 job made him feel depressed and left the monotone job after five years. One day, Steve, along with a couple of friends of his, got a camera and got the idea that it would be funny to film himself wearing a mankini while skateboarding on the Sliema front, and that was the birth of the Maltese Maniacs. ‘Unfortunately in Malta, we are a little bit behind compared to other countries. When people see you trying to do these things they shut you down, they try to stop you, they start to report you and your videos, and the police come knocking at your door. People in Malta don’t like to see other people doing things differently. If they see you do something, they have to shut you down. Fine, skateboarding on the front in a mankini is a bit weird, but why is it breaking the law? I don’t see why it is breaking the law. What is the problem with dressing up in a costume and having a laugh? I don’t see why the police have to get involved’.

IF IT CAN’T BE DONE, I S O RT O F T H I N K T H AT I T H A S TO B E D O N E

Steve continued by saying that they got a lot of negative feedback online from parents mostly. They also faced a lot of critique due to speaking only in English and not in the Maltese language – an issue that is constantly revisited within our society. Ultimately, Steve realised that unfortunately Maltese Maniacs was creating more negativity rather than spreading positivity as intended, (everyone having a laugh at the stunts they pulled), which led to the decision to discontinue it. Steve always wanted to have his own business. In fact, during one of his talks, he emphasised how he did not want to help another person in achieving their dream, but rather achieve his own. He wanted to be his own boss. Sitting in the Quicklets and Zanzi Homes stand at the KSU Careers and Research Fair, he recollected how his grandmother used to ask him what he wanted to be when he grew up. He always used to answer her by saying, ‘I want to become a farmer, because I can go to the field whenever I want to’. Jokingly, he added that she rather crushed that fantasy by saying that the weather would dictate to him when to tend to his crops. One would expect that setting up a real estate business would be something planned, but it wasn’t so for Steve. He was very honest in saying that his decision to get into real estate was because it was the only job at the time that offered flexible hours. ‘I was into travel a lot, so I said I would just set up an office and get five people to work for me and I can leave. But obviously, it became an amazing venture’.

However he did not become a business mogul just like that. Despite not having attended University himself, and still seeing it as a tool for information, Steve pointed out that we are currently living in an age where information is at our fingertips. He explained how he did several online courses, read a number of books and articles, and followed numerous blogs online. ‘Ultimately, I have realised that all you really need in life to be successful is drive. Drive, grit and passion. And to aim really big. You need to know the big ‘Why’. Even when it comes to sales, there is this saying: People don’t buy what you sell. They buy why you sell it’. Steve continued by saying that when it comes to real estate, clients choose your company because of the purpose and vision of the brand. When starting the business, he always envisioned it to be a franchise, and with its current success, he would like to expand overseas. He wants to reach out to as many people as possible to experience this life of flexible hours whilst still being business conscious - the brand Quicklets ultimately is about doing things in a different way. He explained further by saying how Quicklets is a team of people purely focused on living life the way it is meant to be lived, rather than just to sell or rent property. “The important thing is to always do the right thing. If you don’t believe in something, then don’t do it.”

G U A R D I A N S O F T H E S E A BY ROMEA ADLER “We believe that no one deserves to die at sea”, a simple truth which nevertheless has to be said out loud. MOAS (Migrant Offshore Aid Station) is an organisation which has been not only saying this, but also actively operating. Within 3 years of existence they rescued nearly 12,000 people at sea. It all started in a warm summer day on the coast of the beautiful Italian Island Lampedusa, where Christopher and Regina Catrambone, founders of MOAS, were on holidays. They sailed away just day before Pope Francis held a mass devoted to the 2012 tragedy, in which 500 migrants drowned. Regina saw a winter jacket floating in the sea and was told that it probably belonged to someone from a sunken boat. Ever since then, Regina and her husband Christopher could not stop thinking about this tragedy. A few months later, they were sitting at home watching the Pope’s speech where he was calling entrepreneurs for action. At that moment, they felt that they need to do something, and they did. On the 25th August, 2014, the MOAS 40-metre expedition vessel Phoenix sailed from the Valletta Grand Harbour for the very first mission. Today, nearly 2 years later, they saved almost 12,000 lives in the Mediterranean and expanded their mission to Aegean Sea and South East Asia.

Touched by this remarkable story, I was curious to know what it is like to work for an organisation like this. I got in touch with MOAS and they invited our team to come over to their office. I had a great opportunity to speak to their fundraising officer Christina Lejman. Working for international development overseas, and having a great experience in charity behind her back, Christina joined MOAS nearly a year ago. “As a Maltese person, being able to work in an organisation made up of all these incredible people who are making global impact, is very special to me. I would say that I work with people who are quickly becoming role models for me, especially professionally”, said Christina. Working with people like far-famed author, journalist and documentary filmmaker Robert Young Pelton who is MOAS’ strategic consultant; Malta’s ex Chief of Defence, Martin Xuereb as the project director and the Catrambone themselves, can be very inspiring to push oneself to the next level. Christina explained that working in a place like this can be very emotional. They encounter with touching stories on a daily basis, not only at sea but even at the office. She shared a heartwarming story which happened when she had just started working for the organisation.

“I was reading through the emails and found an email from air-trained man congratulating us on the work that we do. I thought it was very sweet. He said that his brother had left Libya, but never arrived in Europe. He had suspected that his brother drowned in one of casualties in April. But then, whilst watching the news with his family, he came across a clip from the MOAS rescue in June and his brother was on the boat along with his family”. Cristina went on to explain that when MOAS started operating, it was very important to make people understand what they are doing and why they are doing it. It was also about allowing people to see that there was a place for privatelyfunded search and rescue at sea, as there had not yet been any private rescue operations in the Mediterranean. In 2015, as the migration crisis took over the media, there was a lot less explaining to do. So now, the organisation is more focused on helping people understand the individual stories of the people on board, inclining more towards the humanitarian aspect. Because the numbers are huge and the frequency of these incidents are always increasing, many people have become desensitised. It is important to make the general public understand that these are still people we are talking about here - it’s someone’s mother, sister, and daughter.

But the cold truth is nevertheless an eye opener. Children die at sea every day, trying to escape terror and become victims of smugglers. One can only imagine the horrors faced by these rescuers: searches in ice cold waters, cries of fear, pleas for help and children’s arms helplessly reaching from under water. People often say, ‘I am just one person, what difference I can make?’ Christopher and Regina Catrambone, together with their team, proved that every person can make a change. They remind us that every life matters and no one deserve to die in the sea. When did our hearts harden so much that we look away when people are dying? Tragedies happen around us everyday and it is our responsibility to react to injustice.

WE BELIEVE THAT NO ONE DESERVES TO DIE AT SEA.

Touching upon of the infamous picture of Alan Kurdi, she said “Of course it is upsetting, it is always devastating, but it is not a unique picture. For me, when I had originally seen it, it did not stand out from a lump. We see these kinds of pictures all the time”. WOULD YOU DARE TO STAND OUT? WOULD YOU DARE TO MAKE SUCH A CHANGE? www.moas.eu facebook.com/migrantoffshoreaidstation

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D O D G I N G B U L L E T S

When it came to interviewing Matthew Camilleri, I didn’t know what to expect. It was the first time I had actually met a soldier and this made me very eager to get to learn about his thrilling adventures. It was clear that Matthew’s shy smile and kind eyes hid countless stories, including near-death moments, which as an interviewer, gave me the shivers. Inspired by his father who volunteered as a Commanding Officer of the Malta GC unit of the Sea Cadet Corps, Matthew’s childhood dream was to become a soldier. Aged ten, he joined this same organisation and immersed himself in the army lifestyle, frequently visiting the UK for training. It was during his first year of high school, when Matthew encountered an online opportunity to join the British Army. It was clear from the beginning that the journey was going to be tough. The process of admission took longer than expected – nearly two years full of rigorous interviews, tests, security checks with lots of documents to fill.

Even after being accepted, Matthew had to face a number of aptitude, physical and academic tests. He passed the academic test with flying colours, giving him the opportunity to choose whichever job he wanted choosing the ‘hardest’ of all, that of an infantry. But unfortunately, he failed his aptitude and physical tests due to being underweight and too quiet. “I was devastated, but I thought it was no big deal. I could always try again”. And that’s exactly what he did. Following bouts of gym sessions, Matthew gained the muscle and with an unshakeable determination, went back and nailed the tests. Now aged twenty, Matthew signed his note of alliance and on May 24th 2004, started twenty four weeks of training in Catterick, North of Yorkshire. For Matthew, training was both mentally and physically draining, but it was also the most fun, “playing with guns, doing  assault courses etc…” For six gruelling months, trainers would always try to break them. In fact some of the trainees did give up. But not Matthew- “The more they shouted the more I enjoyed it”, he added smiling. Tearing up on what he called “the proudest moment of his life”, he finally achieved his dream and walked out as a British Army Soldier and now formed part of the second Battalion of the Royal Anglian Regiment.

BY GRAZIELLA CHETCUTI

Matthew’s first job was in Northern Ireland. It was 2004 and by then, the riots were over and things were more peaceful. For him, this was “an anti-climax Excitement soon followed. During that year, Matthew underwent six weeks of acclimatisation training in Jordan, where he got to prepare for his next posting in Iraq. I was

extremely looking forward to it. At that point, none of us were scared; it doesn’t sink in that something bad could happen to you.” His first six months in Iraq were quiet, but tough. Living conditions were horrible. But what frustrated Matthew the most was how difficult it was to contact relatives. A disconcerting moment for Matthew and his family was when the media reported the death of two British soldiers from his unit. When someone dies, the whole contact phone system gets blocked, “It frustrated me, I couldn’t call my mum to tell her it wasn’t me”. When they were transferred to Basrah,everything changed. “It was as if, one invited someone to his house and they decide to stay for too long… they started seeing us as invaders” Matthew explained. This was the start of an insurgency and he was right in the middle of it. “From that moment on, the enemy could be anyone. One who would have waved at you one day and that same night would shoot you in the back”. During the next couple of weeks, Matthew faced death a couple of times. “Once during a night patrol at the last round of the block, I saw a bright flashlight and started hearing a noise… like a steam engine leaving a bright yellow trail. I could see it coming in slow motion towards our land rover. Luckily, the driver reversed in time, with the projectile missing us by about ten meters. It was a rocket propelled grenade”, he explained to me, his eyes fixed on one spot.

punishments the army would invent just to keep them busy. “It felt degrading, It wasn’t what I wanted to do, I would have preferred to go back in Iraq, at least there I was a soldier.”

What he said next however surprised me - “We were laughing about it, we were so excited. That adrenaline… It was addictive. I wanted to go back” he said smiling. Another close call happened whilst he was guarding a tower by night. “The mortar landed ten metres away from our position. It’s smell was so strong I could taste it. It was very close, and there was dust everywhere”. One shot, then another and another, “I started praying… I wasn’t praying that I would survive, I knew I wouldn’t, I prayed that it wouldn’t be painful”. The next shot never came. “It was the most scared I have ever been my entire life”. In Iraq they experienced mortar attacks (indirect fire) through about eighty percent of the nights they spent there. During one of these nights, just as he was going to sleep, there was a mortar attack which killed the soldier on duty, less than two hundred meters away from Matthew. He was a NCO-Corporal. Matthew knew him and this affected him profoundly. “I have never been so angry in all my life. It was a big blow to us. During this period, Matthew was convinced that his luck would someday run out. “I remember thinking, I had a limit… just like a cat with his nine lives”. After that, he turned very pessimistic and was mostly worried about his family, of how they would feel if he was to die. A few months later, he flew back to the UK. Matthew explained to me that this was the period where he started to get bored of the army life. Daily routine included having to clean, moving things around, and sometimes going through

Having little time off and especially being away from his family, he started realising that this wasn’t the right lifestyle for him. By that time he had been in the army for three years and four months. He had to stay another one year in order to leave. The first few years back in Malta were difficult and he struggled to get used to the civilian life. Today, seven years later, Matthew works as a Tour Guide, a job which he finds to be much more comfortable. For Matthew the army was a learning experience, one which taught him how to become selfdependent, more mature, and learn to appreciate certain things that most people take for granted. He saw how easy it can be to lose it all. Matthew dared to endanger his life and left everything behind in order to pursue his dream, and bring safety to the civilised world. “Even though it turned out it wasn’t what I wanted to do, as least I know it and there are no what ifs.”

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H E L P O N T H E O T H E R E N D BY MICHELLE MELISSA SCOT TO

Adolescence and early adulthood can be quite troubling periods in our lives. We all go through things that make us feel as if we are all alone in the world and there is no one out there to talk to about what is going on in our heads. Luckily on the Maltese Isles, Kellimni.com is just the NGO who has been turning that around offering help and just an ear for those who need it at one’s fingertips. A professional on duty who makes part of the Kellimni.com team explained, ‘The objective of this service is to offer one-to-one, real-time online support services to teenagers and adolescents who are suffering from any form of social exclusion, abuse, neglect, and/or psychological difficulties and are in need of immediate emotional, moral and social support. Kellimni.com offers an innovative online platform targeted specifically at young people where they can feel safe to open up their concerns through a medium which they know and understand, where they feel they are not alone and that there is someone who cares about them, and cares that their life can be free from pain and fear.’ The service kicked off in 2011 by using email only as its medium through which people could reach out for support. Since then, Kellimni.com branched out its services through other mediums, introducing chat in May 2012, and SmartMessaging earlier this year. Chat lines are open

from Monday to Saturday from 7:00pm till 11:00pm, while SmartMessaging allows people to get in touch 24/7. The team behind it all is made up of supervisors and volunteers. Kellimni. com has had continuous year on year increases in users. Statistics have shown that in the first few months of 2016 user numbers are already greater than those in 2011, 2012 or 2013. When talking to members of the team from Kellimni.com, I enquired about what they think with regards to the stigma on the islands towards reaching out of help. A volunteer said, ‘Definitely, there has always been a stigma when it comes to psychological help, support, counseling services etc. We cannot say that is has not improved but yes stigma still exists. We emphasise on the fact that it is OK to look for support and ask for help. It is actually a sign of maturity when someone is aware of what he/she is feeling and knows that he/she needs help. I think it can be eradicated by time, but it entails a lot of effort, work, dedication and patience.’ The professional present expressed how the use of technology might be encouraging people who would feel unable to reach out for help because of this deep rooted stigma to open up and step forward. A volunteer continued by saying that technology ‘makes them feel safer in a way, as they can make use of the service whilst remaining anonymous.’ Users can spend hours talking

to volunteers at Kellimni.com about anything they wish and yet the operators will not know the identity of the user and they will not ask their name. The benefits of using this service is that young people don’t need to depend on their parents financially as counselors and psychologist charges tend to be very costly and there is no need to seek consent either for minors.

THE YEAR 2016 HAS ALREADY BEEN A YEAR OF CHANGES FOR THE ORGANISATION

The professional concluded how Kellimni.com continually strives to make its services more accessible to young people. 2016 has already been a year of changes for the organisation. In January the SmartMessaging App was launched through social media (the official launch will take place later on this year) and the chat service increased from 4 days a week to 6 days. In March the Saturday shift, which has been operating in the mornings, was moved to the evenings. A volunteer added ‘It is our priority to visit more schools, colleges and even universities to promote the service and make more people aware of what we can offer and how easy it is to actually get help and support.’ The organization has its doors also open to anyone who wishes to lend a hand or any University Psychology students who wish to gain some experience in the field to become a volunteer. To apply, just go on the following link: KELLIMNI.COM

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N O T F O R M O N E Y, H O N E Y BY ROMA ADLER

He allows himself to do what no one before him has done. He exhibits things which few are able to speak of. He is not afraid of accusations of being sketchy and does not like painting “beautiful” pictures. Ryan Falzon, Maltese artist whose works makes you want to stop and take a closer look. He makes use of a varied array of styles in his works, such as expressionism, abstractionism, surrealism, assemblage and many more. When I look at his works I feel his rebellious, at times even hooligan, spirit which is reflected in provocative subjects, unambiguous emotions of cocky characters, in the painting technique itself and the emotional sense which they arouse . Inclination to irrationality, emotionality and heightened fantastic grotesque, are some of his works’ characteristics. Looking at his paintings there are so many controversial interpretations. It was intriguing to meet an artist and see it all through his eyes. Entering his studio my eyes were overwhelmed. Vivid paintings on the walls bombarded my senses. My gaze fell on a very large piece called “Golden Boy and his Junk”. So much was going on in this piece I was stunned.

Ryan believes that his art is “quite in your face”, it is really direct and at times perceived as brutally honest. “My art is bang in your face…Like colours and size as well, it is all about layering. So people need to grasp the concept and the idea behind the work.” Ryan explained. “ At first my works might seem quite chaotic however everything is placed there for purpose, every single line on canvas or paper is there for purpose . Nothing is done for decoration. My paintings demand engagement but they don’t provide answers.” He believes that an artist always has to go the extra mile to create an aesthetic work which is very intriguing and innovative. He also adds that he never paints “beautiful” pictures just for aesthetic purposes, but there is always much more to it. Ryan’s works have always had political or social issues enshrined within them. Influences come from history of art, dark medieval art work, Byzantium artwork, but mostly from modern arts German expressionism, american expressionism. “ Like any other good artist I am constantly looking at others work. I don’t believe that working in isolation or focusing too much on my own style is healthy. It is like, if you are stuck at one point you can just look at art works and get ideas. It is not copying. We are all just a link in a chain, we inherited a history, we are shaping the present and in future people going look up to us. “ He believes that as an artist he needs to give an audience something to be challenged with. Ryan’s works are open and can be very personal to the individual. His works are not easy to digest, and the reaction that he gets from general audiences is very radical. There is no mid range you either love it or you hate it. “As a person I am like that, I love you, or I hate you. If I love it I’ll give

it my one hundred percent if not I won’t do it. So I think that somehow translates in my works. I believe that if I am going to present something to the public I need to do that with the public in mind. I don’t like those who say “Oh no I am painting for myself, then I exhibit, but I don’t care.” No! If you paint for yourself keep it for yourself . If you are going to put something out there, the audience is there and it needs to be respected.” He shares that his works are not that sellable, most people are not comfortable to hang them in their homes. He adds, “people say I love them, they are beautiful but I don’t want to have them at home. They are too brutally honest.” Money is not an issue for this artist. It certainly won’t stop him from putting his message out there in the form and shape that he finds to be most suitable. We shall see in his next exhibition “We lost the war”, which will be held in December 2016. This time the artist touches upon the issue of violence. Violence that happens everyday, but especially the political violence in Malta in 19701980s Certainly Ryan Falzon can be called an innovator. Young, talented, original, he is not afraid to break the rules creating his own world in a single painting. His work, inspired by the dramatic paintings of Vincent van Gogh, Edvard Munch and Jean de Dubuffet is imbued with emotions of delight, indignation and powerful social messages. Maybe like many other talented artist in the past, Ryan Falzon is far ahead of his time and shall be appreciated more in the future; or maybe we shall open our eyes wider and see the beauty even in something new, in something different.

G N I M O C E B E M S B B I G E TA K Y B

B E C O M I N G M E BY KATE GIBBS

I met Martina* at University almost three years ago, and what first struck me was her confidence. Her bubbly personality filled any room she was in and brought a smile to my face any time I spoke to her. She never held back in telling me I looked good that day or that what I spoke about in class was interesting. Her upbeat, positive personality drew me to her before I even knew about her past. Going into this interview I was hyper-aware of the focus on transgender issues in the media at the moment. With the huge media frenzy that surrounded Caitlyn Jenner in 2015, and which still continues today, the issues of the transgender community have become more relevant in society than ever. “People don’t expect a transgender person to speak the way I’m speaking, to be able to express themselves”, but that is exactly what she does. Speaking with eloquence and passion, Martina tells me about her discovery, acceptance and the actions she took while undertaking this major life change. Martina was born a biological male and began her transition into the woman she is now, five years ago. Her story begins as a child and she explains how she always felt like a girl before she even knew that that was not socially correct. “I transitioned because I was uncomfortable in my body. It’s a biological thing. I was always a girl, I didn’t know any different. I always acted the way I acted, I was always very feminine”. At 13 years old, Martina moved from a mixed school to an all-boys school. It was this change that confirmed it for her that she just did not belong to the gender she was born as. “I had never felt uncomfortable because I always acted the way I acted, I was always very feminine. At around 12 or 13, I changed schools, and that’s where it hit me. That’s where I felt ‘okay I’m feeling uncomfortable’”.

It was her discovery of the reality show Sex Change Hospital that allowed Martina to put a name to what she was feeling. “While I was doing my GCSE’s I started watching Sex Change Hospital, and I noticed that what they felt before their transition was what I was feeling. My mother tried to stop me from watching the show because she saw I was picking up on it and she wanted to guide me away from thinking like that”. Transgender people are often abandoned by family or friends because of their decision to transition to another gender. As you would imagine, Martina’s mother was shocked and frightened about the struggles her child would face if she began to transition. “At sixteen years old I started taking hormones without a prescription. At the time they were sold over the counter so it was easy to get them. I kept them locked away in a locked cash box until one day my mum found them and she started crying. She said ‘you don’t know what these do’ and I said ‘Mum, I’m unhappy’. So we had a big conversation and I said I’m not comfortable in my body, I’m feeling useless. I didn’t even know how to walk. It’s not you, you know? You don’t know how to walk, you don’t know how to present yourself. I didn’t feel beautiful”. Gender and sex throughout history have always been black and white, men and women. Any sort of shift away from this norm is seen as wrong, abnormal or perverted, with people being punished when this is not adhered to. Gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, cross-dresser, drag queen, whatever a person identifies as, that is not the common man with woman, heterosexual relationship or identification, was and still is considered by some people as grounds for bashing, violence and abuse.

lucky, because I never ended up on the street and there are a lot of transgender people who are on the street and doing sex work. I could have ended up on the street, because I couldn’t find a job. People wouldn’t hire me. But I was very determined. I said no, I’m going to find a job, I’m going to educate myself. That’s why I went back to University. It just shows we are all the same, we have jobs, we are daughters, we are university students”.

The most common misconception the public have with regards to transgender people, is that they have an agenda, that their motive is to be perverse, to shock, disgust or trick people. In my experience, this is never intended. Martina tells me two stories about incidents where she has been singled out and verbally abused for being transgender, by both a bus driver and a bouncer in a nightclub. Both of these stories echo the same thing - ignorance. These men think they are seeing a man masquerading as a woman, but this is far from the truth. Transgender people identify with the gender opposite to what they are born as. There is no agenda, no desire to shock or appall; just a desire to be who they are. These stereotypes that surround trans people have certainly affected Martina throughout her transition. “There is always a limelight around me, I’m always in a limelight of my own. But I’ve learned. I mean, I am a very bubbly person. I’ve learned that people will always say ok, she did that because she is transgender. Not because she’s a girl. A regular girl would do the same things I do, act the same way I act, but she won’t get labelled like I do”. It takes a certain type of person to act against the negativity they are faced with. A certain strength to stand up for who they are and what they believe in. I saw this in Martina as I spoke to her. Her clear understanding of the obstacles she has faced and her unbiased, loving attitude towards people, even towards those who were unkind, is something to be admired. “I was very

Confusion is a running theme throughout our discussion of her transition with regards to society. Confusion as to her intentions with men, and confusion about men’s attraction, or lack of attraction, to her. “There is this view that transgender is synonymous with being homosexual, which isn’t the same. It’s totally different. I felt like a girl. I didn’t feel like I wanted to have a homosexual relationship with a guy. I felt like I wanted to be a girl with a guy. I wanted to be treated as a girl in a heterosexual relationship.” “Guys will question themselves – Am I actually gay because I went out with her? Am I gay? Am I bisexual? No. It’s not about who you are attracted to, it’s about who I am with someone else. My gender, my inner soul, how I want to be treated. I will have friends that are guys, and when they find out they say, why didn’t you tell me, you tricked me. But I didn’t. I was just being a friend. But people won’t accept it. We are very objectified, it’s all about surgery.” There is always the lingering question or thought of a

*Name changed for anonymity.

transgender person’s surgical transition. A focus on what biologically is there. For a transgender person, the surgical change is a small part of a bigger change. A change which is not a defining part of who they are, but a part of them becoming the gender they want to be. Living in Malta, it’s not hard to notice the importance religion has on its people. Even coming from Catholic Ireland, I am surprised by the amount of churches found on this tiny island. I was interested to hear Martina’s take on the role religion played in her transition, and I wasn’t disappointed. “I like to think I am very spiritual, very religious. I’ve had people who have objected to it religiously, but I have one specific priest who I spoke to before transitioning and he told me ‘If you really feel this in your heart that this is for you, go for it’. There is an uproar right now about priests being unaccepting of transgender people, but it’s not all priests. This priest was the epitome of acceptance. He told me, ‘God loves you’. He made me understand that it is ok”. The happiness with which Martina told me this, showed me that this was a turning point in her transition. This priest’s acceptance of her, his choice to adopt the view of God as love, reaffirmed her faith in what she was doing. Religion could still play a big part in her life. She can continue to worship without the religious guilt or shame which could be associated with a change of gender identity.

Martina’s relentless strength and positivity is reaffirmed and reflected in her plans for the future. “I want to be able to give talks. Talking to people in Malta and abroad about my experiences, talking about daring to be yourself despite what people expect from you and despite what they may threaten to do to you. I want people to be more sensitive towards these things. I don’t think people know how much it hurts when people call you the wrong gender, or when people ridicule you, or they won’t give you a job interview. Many employers would hire an under-qualified person over an over-qualified transgender person. It’s stereotyping a transgender person who they think is not capable of doing these things. I’m hoping to educate people and let other transgender people know that it’s ok, that other people feel this way, and if I do that my job is done in the world. There are good transgender people out there who just want to be normal, act normal, have a boyfriend, have a husband, have kids, have a family and go to work every day. This is what I try to do every day at University. I try to have a job, I try to live a normal life. I think people don’t understand that. There is a common misconception that being transgender is the only thing that is important about us. People need to look at transgender individuals in a different way, trying to accept the person as they are. We are not all sex workers, we are not all prostitutes, we don’t all want to trick you. I always try to think like no, I’m capable, I’m educated”

WE ARE NOT ALL SEX WORKERS, WE ARE NOT ALL PROSTITUTES, WE DON’T ALL WANT TO TRICK YOU

It is obvious to me, in all my time knowing Martina, that she is a loving, caring friend. I’ve often gotten messages from her just letting me know that I’m doing great, that who I am is perfect. It is a genuine reassurance that she sees some sort of goodness in me, something I think we all need sometimes. I think this is rare to find in a person. She does not hold back in letting you know that you are cared for and appreciated. Being transgender does not define her. Martina is so much more than a transgender woman. She is intelligent, hardworking, articulate, strong, endlessly positive and an incredible friend.

I N

S A N I T Y

B Y KAT E G I B B S

It has been five years since I first became depressed. After two weeks of never leaving my bed, I knew that something was wrong. I had no idea why I was acting like this, but I knew I didn’t care. Unmotivated, listless, numb. I think I’m a happy person. Someone who usually smiles a lot and really enjoys being around people, but depression changes me completely. I lose my happiness and positivity as if it was never there and it becomes hard to remember a time when I felt happy. Five years later, I know when I’m becoming depressed but I never know what could trigger it and when. It’s a feeling of being constantly on edge. When will I be depressed again? How long for this time? What will the lack of motivation affect in my life? Family? Friends? My job? University? It’s called a mental illness for a reason. It’s all in your head. You look in the mirror and see the ugliest person in the world when in reality, it’s not the case. Every day of depression, you fight a battle with yourself that is unbelievably exhausting. For me, the worst part of being depressive is its effect on relationships. It was hard enough to wrap my head around myself for the past five years, let alone my friends and family. Because it’s a psychological thing, your moods change quite quickly. All of a sudden you’re a different, more negative, moodier person who really isn’t pleasant to be around. No one knew what was wrong with me and still to this day not many people know I get depressed. It’s not exactly the best conversation starter, is it?

People don’t understand depression yet. People don’t realise that you’re not being antisocial or lazy on purpose, it takes every ounce of willpower you have to get up in the morning, let alone having to function. The stigma attached to mental illness is not a rejection, but a misunderstanding. One that should be met with questions on how to help. Even a simple text from a friend asking me how I’m doing, helps more than could be imagined. I thought I was alone. I didn’t know how to put words to my feelings, even after a year of being depressed. I thought, ‘no way, I can’t be dealing with this. How am I suffering with this when I’ve been described as a happy, smiley person all my life?’ It didn’t make sense. People suffering with depression are not alone. There are so many ways to help yourself, it’s not a hopeless situation. For me, it has been thanks to University Counselling Units in both Ireland and Malta that I’ve come out of some of my darkest times. There are trained people out there to help you. When struggling with depression, the most daring thing you can do is battle through. As people who struggle with this illness can confirm, it does get better eventually. Keep that light at the end of the proverbial tunnel in the forefront of your mind. Some day it will ease up and you’ll be yourself again. The person you, your friends and your family, know and love. It does not define you, it shapes you.

T H E P R E A C H E R B E C O M E S T H E C O N V E R T E D BY KAROLINA NAJA

I met Dr. Christian Colombo at his office at the University of Malta. I walked in not knowing much about his history; just simply knowing that he was once a firm Catholic believer who had now turned Agnostic and also a Humanist Celebrant. As I sat down and asked him about his past, I knew that his story was far from simple.

Christian at this point had realized his love for teaching. At the age of eighteen he had become a full-fledged member. To him however, it felt that he had already become a full member at thirteen, as by this time, he was already teaching two lessons a day and spending over thirty hours a week in this society.

Christian began to tell me about his early childhood. He was part of a society called ‘Society of Christian Doctrine’ or more commonly known as ‘M.U.S.E.U.M’. A society founded by Saint George Preca. At first, I thought Christian was just telling me about the usual Catechism school. However, he immediately told me that this society wasn’t just about going to lessons. It involved special kinds of prayers and strong focus on conservative religion. He then startled me by saying that by the age of twelve, he had also started teaching lessons to younger children. It almost humoured me as I imagined a young boy teaching religion to children just a few years younger than him. But

I then asked Christian if he also did attend a church school. I could easily guess the answer to that immediately as he laughed and said “my life revolved around religion”. His everyday routine consisted of waking up at five in the morning, going to six o’clock mass, attending school, go to M.U.S.E.U.M, and finally saying the rosary before bed. “I used to do my homework but my focus was on religion”. I almost couldn’t believe it that a person so young was just so immersed in religion. With a pause, he then began to explain to me the long transition from being a Catholic to becoming an Agnostic. “I was this fully immersed person until the age of twenty. Then I started realizing that

some aspects of my life were being left out. Such things as emotions didn’t have a place in my life, they did not exist”. Ironically he recalled to me how he found help in an enlightened priest. I grinned at this and jokingly asked if he got out of religion through religion. He chuckled and said that this priest was actually the person to point out the aspects of life that he was missing and by talking to this priest and reading books, he began his transition. “I started to take concrete action. The first thing was to find friends that there were not in this society. Eventually I decided I should stop attending as I felt huge chunks of my life were missing”. He explained to me that at this point in his life, he was still religious. After leaving the M.U.S.E.U.M, he was involved at the chaplaincy at University where he helped out and managed communities called Christian Life Communities. This phase lasted six years for Christian before he realized that being exposed to a healthier religious lifestyle wasn’t going to stop the burdens that plagued his mind. Christian had always had trouble with his faith. But having heard stories of saints at the M.U.S.E.U.M who had also doubted their faith, had given him peace of mind for the time being. However, leaving the society had caused this question of faith to return. He became skeptic to a lot of the teachings in the catholic religion and began to seek answers in other areas such as psychology. Eventually for Christian, enough was enough. “It started piling up on me until I just had to stop. I prefer living out of this structure where I would feel freer and happier without all these burdens”. I then asked Christian what made him finally walk away from the Catholic religion. “I had a perfect world and it started cracking. And I didn’t feel like religion was taking care of all

my elements. I was a giant in some aspects and a dwarf in some others. It’s like walking with a short and a long leg. It was a life for angels or spirits, not a life in a body. The ideals were too abstract”. Hearing this, I didn’t need any further explanation. Christian then shared his thoughts to me about being a scientist and a spiritual person and how he doesn’t view them as opposites. Science alone, with all its elements, does not answer all our questions, just as spirituality alone also doesn’t. “The experience of becoming a scientist and the experience of becoming a spiritual person are similar. As a scientist you have to go through these dark phases during your research; you have to stumble in the dark till you find an answer. In spirituality you also have to trust and walk in that way; you’re not always going to have the answers. It’s a journey.’ As we are talking about spirituality, I ask him if he actually believes in anything at this point. He explained to me that he doesn’t believe in a deity but he believes in a set of values. He sees himself as a humanist who values being honest and being a good and loving person. However he continued, “if God is these values in which I believe in then maybe indirectly I do believe in God. God is such a big word and means so many things to many different people. That is why I choose silence in view of this huge reality”. When I had contacted Christian he was kind enough to send me a website that told me a little more about him. There it revealed that he was also a Humanist Celebrant. He was the

first Humanist Celebrant I had ever met and not knowing much about them, I asked him what it consisted of. “Religion is leaving a vacuum; it used to be a part of every milestone of a believer’s life from birth to death, through the sacraments. And now that people are leaving religion, there is an empty space that religion is not a part of”. Being a Humanist Celebrant means that he is able to carry out three important ceremonies baby naming, weddings and funerals. The idea is to make each ceremony more personal to the people involved. He exclaimed that “it’s putting meaning back in these important milestones of our lives”. To this he also mentioned another project that he was working on called ‘Secular Retreats’. Christian was inspired by the philosopher Alain de Botton who is very much into learning from religion and bringing the advantages from religion to non-believers. Within his retreat, Christian hopes to involve professional counsellors who can speak with people at the retreat and hopes to adapt exercises from different religions into a more secular world. “The idea is to remove the religious jargons from these exercises and adapt them to the secular world with words that we are familiar with, and using more technical words from psychology”. It seemed to me Christian has come a long way from his M.U.S.E.U.M. days as a young boy. But no journey is an easy one. Christian opened up to me about the feeling of being caught in the middle. “I left the church, so I don’t belong there. But at the same time, I don’t feel I belong in the community of Maltese atheists either as they’re

more antagonistic towards the church. I’m in the middle because I can understand both sides. I want to meet more people like that and who can understand something more meaningful. In Malta it’s so rare”.

I WAS SO UNCOMPROMISING FOR MY SEARCH FOR WHAT IS GENUINE AND WHAT IS TRUE Before leaving, I wanted to know what to him was the positive outcome of this whole experience. He revealed to me that before when talking about his past to someone, he used to skip over his M.U.S.E.U.M days. However, looking back, he knows now that this experience is what shaped his identity today. Adapting to life outside of this society was his biggest obstacle as his identity and his whole being were associated with this society. “But at the end of the day what got me to that society is the love and search for the truth and I was looking for something genuine and I thought I found it there and that made me feel proud. I was so uncompromising for my search for what is genuine and what is true, and that energy and conviction that took me there with such a force, is the same that got me out of there”.

BY MARIA CALLUS

S W A P P I N G P A C E V I L L E F O R P O L I T I C S Most of us remember the anticipation of turning 18. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the day you become an adult in the eyes of the law. You can rent your own flat, enter into legal contracts, vote for general elections, and if you live in Barbados, you are officially of drinking age. For Terence Agius, turning 18 meant running for office and becoming the youngest Mayor ever in Malta. No pressure.

I met Terence at the University canteen during a busy hour, bursting with clusters of students animatedly conversing with their friends, and their tablets. He walks in, wearing dark denim and “It was quite a surreal moment”, he recalls. “I knew that my campaign was a positive one, but never expected to be appointed for the top job”. He explained that there was no formal campaign strategy on his behalf, “I simply decided to get straight to it and go knocking on people’s doors. I was totally alone, because who would dare back a teenage candidate?” For Terence, gaining people’s faith and credibility could only have been achieved with untiring determination and relentless enthusiasm. “I was so determined to be of service in the community I love so much, that I had to continue pushing myself. I was alone, but so what? I had my drive”. “I knocked on hundreds of doors of my constituents. I offered to sit with them, to listen to the issues they face within our locality, and together discuss what could be done to change those issues into opportunities for a better neighbourhood”. “I come from a worker’s background. I am a graduate of the university of the street. I get it. I understand people’s struggles. And I believe that this was my winning ticket. Being genuine and relatable”. And the message certainly hit home. Terence managed to persuade them with dreams of establishing Ħal Kirkop as a household name in Malta, like Birgu or Żurrieq, he explains, which today carry a sense of prestige thanks to the investment and regeneration that has taken place. wTerence transcends a sincere interest in being around people. He believes that, “Politics is not about sitting behind a computer, but rather, it is about being there for people”. Despite this being his first election, Terence has been involved in politics for a number of years. Before serving as secretary for the local Labour Party committee, he was involved in the youth local council at just 14 years of age where, amongst other things, he managed to secure a €10,000 grant for Ħal Kirkop after proposing a project dubbed ‘Edu-Krea’, consisting of educational and creative courses for youths.

“I have loved debates for as long as I can remember. If I have a solid argument, I can argue with you, and eventually persuade you”, he grins cheekily, “till the cows come home”. Politics also involves a lot of teamwork. Terence today leads a team of 4 councillors, coming from opposing political parties. The hard question had to be asked: How does he manage to keep tabs on a team of councillors who are older and more experienced? “It is still a challenge I face, but my leadership strategy is simple. I adapt to each individual, rather than expect them to adapt to me. We’re all here for the service of the community, beyond political biases. I believe that all ideas are relevant, so I make sure that everyone’s voice is heard. I can earn their respect only by first respecting them”. Apart from transitioning from schoolboy by day, to tapping into EU funds by night, is there any free time left for Terence to just be, well, a teenager? “Not quite”, is the answer I get. “Time is still the biggest limitation I have”. Apart from the obvious office work and meetings, he needs to keep up with residents’ requirements and remain in constant contact - all of that whilst juggling a “steady flow of emails”. And on that note, he breaks off eye contact to steal a few seconds to check his phone. His eyes light up and he giggles to himself. “My friends”, he explains, “they’re asking me whether I’m going out tonight”. “So, do you have a girlfriend?”, I had to ask. “Eh! Forget about going out. There are no parties for politicians. Everyone knows you, there is no private life”. “In a sense, I do feel that perhaps I compromised my youth for politics. There’s a huge responsibility on my shoulders and it can be tempting to rethink my decision, but I can tell you for certain, that I have no regrets”.

CO M M U N I CAT I O N S

Kate Gibbs | Merilina Grante | Krissi Sammut

A DV E RT I S I N G

Caroline Agius | Jean-Paul Calleja | Anthea Galea George Zammit Montebello | Tracy Zerafa 76

DESIGN

E D I T O R I A L

Romea Alder | Maria Callus | Karolina Naja | Irina Kvashali Michelle Melissa Scotto | Beaudine Pieters 78

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