Life under the stairs

STOP THE WORLD… I WANT TO GET OFF

Good Day to You All

I’m back after a short break and looking forward to this year. Unusual for me as I dislike the New Year. It normally fills me with fills me with trepidation and gloom. My gran used to call it ‘a touch of misery-itis’.

To be frank, things got a bit too much toward the end of last year.

I was drowning in my own pool of self-despair and melancholy, without a lifeguard in sight, almost oblivious to all that had been going on around me. It was too easy to blame everything on the pandemic, lack of funds, restrictions on this that and the other. It is also truly exhausting being miserable! I waited for something wonderful to happen, to lift me out of the pool, yet I dismissed those vital, small things in life that carry us along.

I kept looking for actions and gestures from others to soothe my soul, until I realised that I was my own problem, and that the solution had to come from me. It was time I re-entered polite society! I had to put my big girl pants on and leave the house. fort zone and went with family. Eldest Offspring is getting married later this year and asked me to go wedding dress shopping with her; a wonderful evening which made me realise what a gorgeous and thoughtful woman she has grown into. I went to a wedding reception just before Christmas, again with Eldest Offspring and her partner, and Other Half. I enjoyed it and left when I wanted to.

Youngest Offspring has supported me with phone calls from sunny Bristol, just to see how I was getting on. I spent long evenings with Other Half, who had watched as I grew more silent and morose, but whose physical presence was comforting although his jokes were excruciating.

I read about the adventures of the wonderful Jim Barker on the Dartford Daily website, and his experiences with the NHS, home care and the kindness of others – now there’s a man who should write for you!

Normal life continued. Friends driving over for a cuppa and a chat, long distance video chats with my lovely cousin and a small gift from another friend in Lincolnshire., ‘just to let you know you’re not alone’.

It was actions of others that helped so much. I comfort eat, which solved nothing, as the number of cakes and biscuits I devoured never lifted my mood. Instead, I embarrassed myself by grizzling at a slimming club meeting, upon realising I only had myself to blame for a large weight gain. Those lovely people gathered round, offered hugs, advice, and such kind words I knew I could carry on.

This is just the mundane, everyday stuff many of us take for granted, but it was the prescription I needed. Now I’m more positive. I’ve started a tai chi class, got my Christmas weight gain under control, with the help and support of that wonderful group of people at my slimming group. I’ve cleared out old clothes, books, and papers. I’m going through old photos and binning a few that hold no meaning or memory for me. A sort of mental and physical declutter.

I have chosen some small goals rather than Mental health, wellbeing, call it what you will is a strange beast. So many of us have noticed the effects of the past couple of years on ourselves, friends, and family. We are advised to seek help at a time when the NHS is unable to cope – private counselling isn’t cheap, and for many of us anti-depressants become a way of life. The biggest setback is that although you may realise you are anxious and depressed, the challenge to seek help is sometimes so much effort. We can all benefit each other in this predicament, simply by a kind word or gesture, or a friendly action

I suppose this is a sort of love letter to those who helped me, whether they know it or not. It was the comments on local group pages, phone calls from far away, a friendly chat with a neighbour, and a cheerful good morning from some of the many dog walkers who come past my house which put things into perspective for me.