The Raw Hisotry of Thanksgiving

22 PERSPECTIVES

Men are socially designed to suppress women

There’s a double standard when it comes to men and women. While women are told how to do everything in order to conform with societal standards, men are congratulated for doing the bare minimum.

By Ali Madden | Social Media Editor

I’m sure it’s not just me, but I’ve noticed a really intriguing trend: the bar for men is too low. Now allow me to be clear, this is not to knock down men, in the words of Cher “I love men, I think men are the coolest,” but whether men know it or not, the bar they are expected to meet is the bare minimum. It seems as though that all they have to do is the bare minimum in order to impress women. It is the bare minimum that is used to suppress women. When I say “bare minimum” I mean treating women like human beings. They don’t look at us as objects, they respect our choices, and they don’t fi nd every opportunity to bring us down. That is the bare minimum. Why am I even talking about this? Why do I care? I know I’m not alone when I tell you that the amount of men who have talked or explained things to me like I’m dumb, is countless. I’ve been catcalled, called words I’d rather not repeat, been told how to look, how to act, who to be attracted to, by guys I’m friends with and guys I barely know. So, when I meet a male who actually treats me like a human being, I’m surprised. But isn’t that sad, that the bar for men is so low that all they have to do is the bare minimum and they’re showered with love and support? Not only is the bar for men so low, but as women we still make excuses for their horrible behavior. Systematically and socially, men are designed to be more aggressive, and to suppress women. I think that men are encouraged socially to be aggressive and to mess around, and women are what they take their agressions and desires out on. It’s almost as if from birth men and women are conditioned to think and act certain ways. Growing up, I recall being told to be “ladylike”, which entails being told how to act, dress, and look. I remember my mom and grandma telling me I need to be polite even when someone is rude to me, and to not to show if I’m experiencing any negative emotion. I was confused because then my male counterparts would get aggressive, and over small things too, like losing a game of kickball at recess. Their aggressive and seemingly immature reactions were always met with “that’s just how boys are”, and I never thought twice about it. These gender roles that society has placed on us as children excuse inappropriate male behavior, and suppress female emotional expression. When a man can’t get what he wants out of a woman, he’s encouraged to lie and/ or manipulate for it. But then there’s this double standard, because a woman can never get aggressive and mess around. If she does, she is shamed for it. She is told that she is disgusting and horrible. The bar is so low, it’s practically in the ground, and yet men still trip over it and blame women for their own issues. So I’m sure now you can understand why when I meet a man who respects me as a person, it’s astonishing. “Like wow, you believe that I should be allowed to wear what I want without being objectifi ed? Crazy!”. I wish that the bare minimum didn’t impress me, I wish I could raise my standards for men. But of course we run

Columns on the DNO

into another problem. Whenever women talk about what they look for in a man (personality, looks, style, etc.), it’s always met with men claiming that we’re asking too much from them when we really aren’t. So here we are left with the bare minimum, and even that feels unattainable sometimes. I say as women, we need to start raising our standards for men. We simply cannot accept the bare minimum, it’s not enough. We need to hold them accountable for their poor actions and decisions. And men, if you just so happen to be reading, do better. B