November&December2014
finding hope in your dark holiday, p. 28
GIVE ME GRATITUDE OR GIVE ME
STRESS p. 16
The French
Macaron History + Tips & Tricks + recipe for Maple Cinnamon Macarons, p. 38
UNDERSTANDING THE VALUE OF FAMILY KEEPSAKES p. 60
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Copyright Š 2014, Daughters of Promise. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. This magazine contains material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this magazine may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from Rachel Schrock or Daughters of Promise.
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inthisissue NOVEMBER&DECEMBER2014
{open} 2 Contact Information 6 Contributors 7 A Word from Rae
daughters of God pursuing deeper intimacy with the Father
8 16 20
Dying to Live, part II Give Me Gratitude or Give me Stress The Lord is My Sufficiency
relationship exchange cultivating the sacred gift of friendship
26 28
Keeping Relationships Simple The Weary Heart Rejoices
lifestyle
virtue in everyday living
38 42 44 46
The French Macaron My Holiday Home DIY Gift Wrapping Frugally Spice up Your Winter Wardrobe
legacy & impact learning & living God’s heart for the world
50 54 56
Hosting Group Studies, part II Women in the Trenches The Simple Joy of Giving
white spaces
creating rest, balance, & room to breathe
60 Treasures
{close} -4-
extras!
26
38
34 everest 44 square 48
featured blogger
58
team recommends
42 16 28
60
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Chief Editor Rae Schrock
BEHIND THE CAMERA
meet this issue’s guest photographers
Staff Writers Marlene Stoltzfus Brittany Shult Samantha Trenkamp
Columnists Luci Miller
Guest Writers Benji Mast Lauren Stoltzfoos Ruby Showalter
Nora Mobley Hey there, I’m Nora Grace. Photographer, creator, bulk food manager. I love God, people, quotes, and music. A rainy day with a book, notebooks, and good food sounds like perfection to me. I love spending time with my family, friends, and my favorite man Javan. Mason, the little boy I babysit, is the best of little men. Life is beautiful, I love capturing it.
Sandy Schwartz Tina Newson Wendy Good
Staff Photographers Carmie Sanchez Kristi Smucker
Guest Photographer Nora Mobley
Creative Design Rae Schrock
Cover Photo by Kristi Smucker
Copyright © 2014, Daughters of Promise. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. This magazine contains material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this magazine may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from Rachel Schrock or Daughters of Promise.
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a Letter from Rae
Hi there! So glad you have found your way to this publication. I truly hope it is a blessing to you. This issue was shaped around two words: Gratitude and Simplicity. Could there be a better time to be reminded of these qualities than during the holidays? As a DOP team, it our desire to approach Thanksgiving and Christmas in a radically transformed way, and we would love to see you do the same. Instead of focusing inward; getting hung up on our own wishlists or falling into unnecessary excess, let’s embrace a simpler way; a more grateful way. The holidays can be a very difficult time depending what experiences we find ourselves in. I encourage all of us to keep our eyes open for ways to give of ourselves to bless others. Let’s examine carefully the rich gifts we are already laden with, and practice simplicity in the way we do the holidays. The greatest joy isn’t in stuffing ourselves with pleasure but in seeking the pleasure of others! I love the privilege of editing this magazine. As the articles and photos trickled in over the past few weeks, I shook my head in wonder. This issue is absolutely crammed with richness! Take your time and read slowly through, allowing the Lord to encourage your heart and challenge your life. Tomorrow I leave for TN for a weekend of camping in the great smoky mountains. Delightful! Fall is my favorite season and I am relishing the opportunity to get away for a while and enjoy the stunning beauty of this time of year. Autumn makes me slow down and enjoy life in a different way. It brings a kind of satisfaction: the year is
drawing to a close; seeds have been planted and the hard work of tending is reprieved. The harvest is in and the earth moves into its natural season of rest. I am happy to rest with it, enjoying the quieter activities that winter brings. I love how, even during the winter, new life is happening. Blankets of snow may hide the process, but nonetheless, earth is not dead; it is being readied! For my birthday last year, a friend gave me some lovely Paperwhites; a delicate white flower that resemble small daffodils. The bulbs can be forced to bloom during winter, and last December they did, adding a bright reminder of LIFE to my chilly little apartment. Over the spring and summer, I rather forgot about the bulbs. They sat in a pot on my back stoop and were flooded by rain; starved by drought; and knocked over on multiple occasions. I thought they were surely dead after so many months of neglect, but this week I brought them inside and gave them a little water. Two days later, bright baby green shoots had erupted from shriveled, black bulbs, and are still leaning upward into the light. I was ecstatic! I tend to see object lessons in everything (ha!), and this was no exception. I won’t belabor the analogy, because I think it is clear: even in the dark, shriveled, neglected parts of life, where death seems near if not certain, life is being prepared. One day it will spring forth, tenderly nurtured by our Good Shepherd. Stay strong and faithful, friends!
Rae -7-
DYING TO LIVE PART 2
by Wendy Good Photography by Kristi Smucker -8-
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Part I Summary God wants all of us, every part, and will accept nothing less. This doesn’t have to be scary though, if we see him for who he is. What is scary, is to have to try to control our own lives. I learned true surrender when my marriage was forcibly taken from me through my husband divorcing me and remarrying. After that, though, I have had plenty of other occasions where I had to decide whether I was going to humble myself…or not.
Practicing Surrender: FORCED OR CHOSEN?
I look back at my life now and realize that some of the things I suffered were to burn pride off of me until I was completely purified. I think sometimes that’s the reason for our suffering: to humble us, because God resists the proud. That’s a scary place to be… to be somewhere God resists us? But he gives grace to the humble. We don’t automatically stay in that place. But if we don’t humble ourselves voluntarily, this is what I believe: if we don’t do it, God does it. Nebuchadnezzar said, “Those who walk in pride He is able to humble.” I would rather do it myself than God have to do it. I surrendered my husband to God only after he was already gone. It was a little late, but it did enable me to walk in love and forgiveness. After that, I felt God testing me, “You gave me your husband when you didn’t have a choice; will you give me your children when you do have a choice?” See, I had a choice of whether to go to court and fight for my legal rights (child support and custody) or to follow Matthew 5 in agreeing with my enemy quickly, and returning a blessing instead. It was a hard test, but I knew, “Lord, I can’t try to fight for them like I fought for my husband. I saw how useless that was.” So I told God again that all I have is his. Then I was able to live free from fear about what was going to happen with my children, not because I had any guarantees, but because they weren’t mine, and someone much greater than me was in charge. -10-
THE WILL OF GOD…??
But was it God’s will for me to be divorced, and is your pain God’s will for you? Let me ask you this: was it God’s will for Judas to betray Jesus? Here’s what I’ve come to understand: it wasn’t God’s will for Judas, but it was all a part of his plan for Jesus. God never wills for someone to sin, but he can weave that together in his plan for his children, for their good. So no, it wasn’t God’s will for Judas, because Judas was resistant to God’s will, but he used that in the master-plan he had for Jesus’s life. In the same way, it was not God’s will that my husband commit adultery, but this came as no surprise to God. He knew it on our wedding day, and he already had a plan of redemption in place for me. Slowly I began to see that God was using my intense grief to make me more like Christ. And that became my deepest heart’s desire. I encourage you also, when meeting with difficulty, instead of complaining, “How is this supposed to make me feel good?” to ask instead, “God, how do you want to use this to make me more like Christ? Because in everything we experience, good or bad, we can find the footsteps of our forerunner Jesus there, and in that way is lifegiving to our spirit. “And this is life eternal, that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent” (John 17:3). Here is a song that shows my growth during that first year that my husband was gone. Many of these principles I learned from Zac Poonen, a preacher from India whose messages I heard on tape and changed my life through giving understanding to my mind and heart.
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MY PURPOSE Let my prayer be not to be delivered, but let my concern be for your name that your name be glorified, Lord, glorify your name through me. Let my goal be not for comfort, but let my pursuit be: to be conformed to the image of your son, the likeness of your holy son. I am ready to meet you in the air but am I ready to suffer for you? Give me strength for whatever I face. I am ready, Lord, to die for You, but am I ready to take my cross and to live for you, following you? No one can hinder what you plan to do in my life but me! Heaven is my home and this life is more than what I can see! Let my aim be, not the taste of pleasure, but let my desire be, to be filled with the Spirit of love, of power and self-discipline. Let my request be, to know Christ and to know the power of his resurrection and to know the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings. Let your name be glorified through me. (Scripture Songs at www.singthekjv.org)
Later I had the idea to set chapters of Scripture to music. This was such a blessing to me because what I needed was truth when Satan came with so many lies and doubts and fears. We can have so many negative thoughts that spiral down into despair. I found when I was at work, that because I’d set scripture to music, those tunes would play in my head with the words cleansed my mind and brought me hope. When we have a crisis, we’re trying to figure out the situation, and why people are doing things, and how it’s going to turn out, and it takes us down negative thought patterns. There were times I just had to decide, “I’m not going to try to figure this out anymore.” Scripture says, some knowledge is too wonderful, or high, for us. I’d been trying to figure out, “What went wrong?” and analyzing everything, and I got to the point where I said, “God, I don’t have to know all that.” But when I had the word washing and washing over me, God used these scriptures to teach me what the truth is. The TRUTH is, that his lovingkindness is better than life. That’s truth. It blessed me so much to be able to take discouraging thoughts captive through the power of the word. This music is freely available at www.singthekjv.org. I chose the pseudonym “Tirzah Joy” for “Tears of Joy” because I longed to have joy in my life even through my tears. When I prayed for the Gospel to be true in my life, I asked God for the sign of joy. I’m an optimist by nature, but having joy while a broken home stretched out in front of me was beyond anything I could manufacture or fabricate. And yet, God slowly began a process of anointing me with joy. After that point of full surrender, there is another journey from grieving rejection, grieving loss, grieving broken dreams until we reach a place of joy. So I want to encourage you that if you are on that emotional journey, to be patient with yourself. I still deeply grieved my loss for several years where -12-
I was very raw, and even though God was doing a work in me, it was definitely a process. Surrender doesn’t mean you don’t feel pain. Jesus himself was a man of sorrows; after surrender we still feel pain, but it’s no longer a despairing, “I cannot go on,” but there’s a peace and rest in it as we find him to be our all in all. As Ps 27:14 says, “Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.” You may feel like I did, that you can never find joy after what you suffered but I tell you that GOD Is So Faithful and he will absolutely fulfill his word in your life! The joy of the Lord will be your strength! You cannot trust him too much! I found that as my mind gained understanding about the ways of God, my heart slowly began to believe in God’s goodness.
JOURNAL ENTRY, AUGUST 10, 2006:
Lord, I couldn’t believe in the benefits of brokenness except you had gone that way. I wouldn’t have accepted the superiority of suffering except you lived it first. I couldn’t have embraced the honor in submission unless you showed me. I couldn’t have treasured the experience of unreturned love unless you had first loved me, while I was yet a Sinner unrepentant. I couldn’t have endured the cross for the joy set before me, or retained hope for a bigger plan, but you...you have made all the difference.
JOURNAL ENTRY, MARCH 29, 2013: I enter
in by the Door and lay face up, my bed an altar and myself the living sacrifice. I complete the spiritual transaction: I give God all of me, and He in return gives me sonship, his love, his Spirit, supplies all my needs according to his riches in Jesus, and everything I need for life and godliness. He gives, gives, gives, all in exchange for the little payment of all of me. Not so valuable to some, but he places a price tag on me that was worth dying for. I would be a fool not to give myself to such a Master, but he doesn’t call me servant; he calls me friend. I love him.
A TRIBUTE TO GOD’S FAITHFULNESS
There were times when I didn’t want to live. I prayed, “Lord, I understand that to die is gain. But teach me today what it means, that to live is Christ.” But it was freeing to set aside all my own agenda, and seek the Lord’s. And this story wouldn’t be complete without me telling you what great things God has done for me. I didn’t seek material success and yet God has provided amply for me. I live in a wonderful
MORNING PRAYERS OF SURRENDER I found that in the morning, if I prayed and surrendered the whole day to God, when trouble came later, I had faith to say, “Lord, you know this. I already surrendered this day to you.” I could cast all my care upon him; for he cares for me. Whereas if I didn’t pray these in the morning, and something bad happened, I felt frantic, like, “God! Help! Are you there?? Do you see this?!!” and I didn’t have the faith I needed to face these things. So every morning I would meet with God and give him the day and everything that would happen, good and bad, saying, “I choose death today.” I encourage you to adapt these for yourself:
I GIVE TO THE LORD: • • • • • • • • •
My body and health My mind and thoughts My heart and affections My home and possessions My time My sons My future and will My aspirations My day with all the trials and blessings that will come
REFLECTIONS AND JUDGMENT:
• Is my heart a pure vessel before the Lord? Do I want anything, save the Lord? • Is there any unconfessed sin in my life? Anything the blood of Jesus has not cleansed? • Tell the Lord all that is on my heart.
THANKSGIVING FOR: (giving up my rights/
expectations, I focus on what I have, not on what I don’t)
• • • • •
This home My sons My friends Living in peace Abundantly supplying my needs
MY REQUESTS: • • • • • •
Fill me with Your Holy Spirit Lead me in Your will Increase my faith Allow me to serve Give me the armor of God Place a hedge of thorns around me and my sons • Teach me to pray (I’ve told you my burdens. What are yours, that I may share them?)
house that my parents bought, only because I offered to care for them in their declining years. For a while I was able to live off the money my husband paid me back from a loan, and when that ran out, God gave me a job teaching for Liberty University Online when I barely even pursued it. Last but not least, he has given me a supportive church family and rich friendships, so I am not alone.
CONCLUSION
We all know, if we will admit it, that there is something much better and deeper and purer and higher than the plans and kingdoms we would construct for ourselves. Yes, in our spirits we long to be conformed into the image of God’s son. When we surrender, we don’t know if we will be the one that receives our dead raised to life or the one who is sawn in two (Heb 11:35-37). And it doesn’t really matter; it is not my concern! Well, to our flesh it matters, of course. To our flesh, getting our will is the difference between pain and pleasure, agony and attainment, despair and delight. Ah, but that is the flesh; the part of us that must die! God said plainly to Adam, “If you eat this fruit, you will die.” Satan said, “You will not surely die.” God says to us in Romans 6, “If you live according to the flesh, you will die.” But what do we do? We live trying to satisfy the lusts of our flesh. We life in our palaces and we want our lives of ease and, “I don’t want any suffering in my life.” So we try to control people and circumstances around us to build our kingdom because we know best. And God says, “If you live that way you will surely die.” Satan comes and assures us that we will not surely die. This is the message of the cross that is so key to our lives that God wants us to find. And he’s faithful to bring things into our lives to bring this about in us, so don’t resist that! That’s his good work in you. Please feel free to contact me at wendyrgood@gmail.com God bless you!
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ONE THING
(Sabbath Song, July 12, 2014)
(“One thing thou lackest, if thou wilt be perfect.”) Mt 19:21 One thing you’ve asked me: take up my cross, Lu 9:23 Hate earthly riches, count it all loss, Lu 14:26; Lu 16:13; Php 3:8 To give up and follow you. Lu 18:22 This, my LORD, I gladly do, Mt 13:44 For beholding me, you’ve loved me with great love. Mr 10:21 One thing is needful, that will I choose. One thing is needful, all else I’ll lose. Sitting at Thy lovely feet, Hearing your voice still repeat: “I have loved you with an everlasting love.” One thing I have desired: to sing your praise, Declare your glory all of my days, To behold thy beauty, Lord, And inquire of thy word My heart said unto thee, “Thy face will I seek.”
Lu 10:42 Joh 12:25 Lu 10:39, Isa 52:7 Isa 44:8; Isa 45:21 Jer 31:3 2Ch 29:30; Ps 7:17; Ps 9:2 1Ch 16:24; Ps 104:33 Ps 27:4; Isa 33:17 Ps 119 Ps 27:8
Not one thing ever failed of all you’ve said. You’ve given new life raised from the dead. All I want is more of you: Doing all you ask me to, Loving you with heart and soul and mind and strength.
Jos 23:14 Ro 6:4; Ro 8:11; Col 2:12
Though I have not attained, one thing I do: Leave what’s behind me, reach for what’s new. Soon you’re coming in the skies, So I press on for the prize: The high calling in Christ Jesus, O my God. (I would be perfect.)
Php 3:12 Php 3:13 Ac 1:11; Re 1:7 1Co 9:24 Php 3:14 De 18:13; Ps 101:2
Lu 17:10 Mr 12:30
MEET THE AUTHOR Growing up, I had one primary desire in life: to be a wife and mother. Even deeper than that, though, my heart longed to live out God’s purpose for my life, whatever the cost. After I married the man of my dreams, he voiced fundamental spiritual questions, and I thought God hadn’t been faithful to give me the desires of my heart. Disappointed, I placed my happiness in having a good marriage and pursued higher education and a professional career with its resulting money and prestige. Seven years later, God sent a crisis my way, and, with it, a second chance at processing through whether or not I would believe his goodness and word. After trying every tactic I knew of resistance and control to change my circumstances (and failing), I chose absolute surrender to God instead of suicide. Since then, my life has been a journey of growing in love, grace, and joy. For seven years, I was blessed with the ministry of homeschooling my two sons and teaching music at my church school in Gladys, Virginia. I am currently an adjunct instructor for Liberty University Online.
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Pearl of Promise
“The one who offers thanksgiving as his sacrifice glorifies me; to one who orders his way rightly I will show the salvation of God!� Ps. 50:23 -15-
by Sandy Schwartz Photography by Kristi Smucker
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or
Gratitude stress give me
give me
“Corinne,
don’t touch that! A dog probably peed there,” I reprimanded my six year old daughter as we walked down a dirty sidewalk in our neighborhood of Brooklyn, NY. “My eyes watch for beauty!” she exclaimed to me. She would spot a tiny patch of green grass and stop to literally stroke it, while I usually saw concrete, garbage, or dog litter. How can two people in the same surroundings see two completely different things? It is all in what you purpose to look for. And this, my friend, is a glimpse into the core of what we call gratitude. No matter what the circumstance you or I face, we are given a choice to be grateful or to be stressed. Whatever we are up against, we can choose to thank God for it. Five years ago, I was intrigued when a friend from church told me about a book in which the author
chose to heed the words in Ephesians 5:20 and thank God for everything. In the weeks that followed, the Holy Spirit kept impressing on me that I was to do this. That was the beginning of a journey of God peeling off layers of unredeemed junk in my life. It was also what God used to keep me from going into a full blown depression. Little did I know that in asking me to thank Him for everything, God was actually giving me the tools to face some of the hardest challenges of my life. “Still I will trust” was what came to me on January 1, 2010. I sensed that that was the theme God had for me that new year. Just nine days later, in a sterile hospital room, I gave birth to our lifeless, 24 week old daughter, Elizabeth Charis. While in the fresh grief of that stillbirth, we were pulled into a very delicate,
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painful relationship issue. We all know that pain needs comfort and healing. I chose to go to anger, self-pity, and fear in my desire for relief. These can give a nice, temporary zap of numbness and sometimes even a thrilling “high,” but the end result is devastating! Let me tell you, self-pity or the martyr spirit coupled with anger does not look becoming on any woman, no matter how flattering your figure or how beautiful a face you wear! This junk is best traded in for a “garment of praise”!
was feeling depressed or discouraged, it was highly therapeutic for me to talk to God about these truths. In other words, I was worshiping. Ah….so good, so freeing, so relaxing, so transforming! One week when I spent extensive periods of time worshiping, I came to the realization that I haven’t actually suffered that
On sleepless nights, I learned to get up, read my Bible and wrestle with God, until He gave me relief through a word from Him. As I became His student, I learned that praise is faith in action. Complaining is actually unbelief because if I can’t I thank God for what He has allowed in my life, it’s like I am telling Him that I could have done a better job of planning things than He. That’s arrogance! That’s the equivalent of me telling Him that I know more than He does. Seriously. Who am I kidding? He is God and I am not. Period. One night when I couldn’t sleep I was reading about how the children of Israel wandered around the wilderness for 40 years because of their unbelief. (Hebrews 3:19) They were a bunch of whiners! I realized that I was wandering around in my own desert experience and I did NOT want to stay there for 40 years. I needed to start cooperating with God and start praising Him! I can see now that I was holding myself back from rest because of my unbelief in God, which being interpreted in every day life was complaining and fighting God and treating Him like He didn’t know what He was doing. At first, I found that practicing gratitude was a matter of the will. I needed to will to praise God. It becomes a choice to be grateful, even if I do not feel like it. I remember standing in my kitchen and thinking that this gratitude thing was as hard as working out—it would be easier to go to the gym than to thank God for the things in my life that I did not like. But I am finding that as I practice gratitude and choose not to give in to stress, it can actually, with the help of the Holy Spirit, enter all the way to my heart and become an inner motivation. I remember during the season that God was teaching me gratitude, I woke up one morning, and without even trying, as I woke up, my first words were, “Thank you, Jesus!” I thought to myself, “Where did that come from?” I believe it was the gracious gift of God, instilling it deep within my soul. So much of the battle is in the mind. It’s easy to base our thought process around our feelings in the moment. We can swish those negative thoughts around in our head until they actually “feel real”. Other labels for this include “stinking thinking” and/or “believing lies”. A sure fire cure for this is to drag our mind back to truth. What is truth? God’s Word. God’s promises. God’s names. God’s acts and attributes. I have found this to be extremely helpful! On days when I -18-
On sleepless nights, I learned to get up, read my Bible and wrestle with God, until He gave me relief through a word from Him. AS I BECAME HIS STUDENT, I LEARNED THAT PRAISE IS FAITH IN ACTION.
much in life. (Now there’s a remedy for self-pity!) Worship, praise, and gratitude embrace faith and build belief. Worship causes our suffering to shrink in our eyes, and elevates the God of the universe to His rightful place.
Isn’t it great that gratitude has nothing to do with our circumstances? Yes, that includes our outward appearance, our bank account, the size of our house, our husband or the absence of one, our job, our church, etc. But a grateful heart does affect how we view ourselves (our self-image), other women (the comparison game), if and how we share our home with others, etc. Believe me, hospitality is about caring for people, not showing off what you have. Wow, isn’t that a relief? If we can develop and live out of a heart of gratitude towards Christ, we can demonstrate love and hospitality to anyone who walks in our door. Why do we prefer wearing our troubles and busy schedules as a badge of honor instead of sharing the victories and blessings the Lord has given us? Now let me clarify something here. I am not promoting fakeness. If you need to ask somebody to pray for you and if you need help in your troubles, by all means be honest and open with others, but consider your motives for sharing. (James 5:16) I have discovered that sometimes my motives for sharing my “issues” is to look for affirmation or self-pity—maybe then I need to confess that as sin and ask for prayer. If you share your woes, do you want victory through prayer, or do you just want coddling from others? I believe that God calls His children to celebrate His goodness and to freely testify of the good things that He does, so let us practice that as the Spirit of God enables us. Now that you have developed a heart of gratitude, go shout it to the world! Testify! God has been good to you! Do not keep it to yourself. Some of you may think your Sunday services could use a bit more energy. Let it start with you. You share what God is doing for you, and watch what happens. “They overcame him by the blood of the lamb, and by the word of their testimony” (Revelation 12:11). You want to be an overcomer! I am sure you do. Then go testify, girl!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR Sandy Schwartz, wife of Rich Schwartz, is a home school mother of six children ranging between 10 months and fifteen years of age. In the flurry of activity that includes hosting guests “in season and out of season,” she has two options: bask in God’s presence, or become a basket case. Her identity is most certainly not wrapped up in the vehicle she drives. You can spot her cruising the streets of NYC in their 12 passenger van, otherwise know as “the bus.” Sandy loves spending time with her pastor, who is, incidentally, her best friend and husband. She is unique--she gets a thrill out of cleaning their church’s building. A few of her favorite things are: frequent belly laughs, banging out tunes on the piano, drinking coffee, hearing of God’s work in other womens’ lives, worshiping Her Savior, finding a good bargain, and hanging out with her family.
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I am the LORD your you up out of the lan mouth wide, and I w
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God, who brought nd of Egypt. Open your will fill it. [PS. 81:10]
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The Lord is My...
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by Rae Schrock Photography by Nora Mobley
Jesus I need you. These are the words that have been playing on repeat in my head for the last 14 months. All my life I have been aware that I need Jesus, but the past year and a half has opened a whole new understanding of how dependent I am on Him. Even on my best days, I am fraught with inadequacy. I pass up opportunities to show love. I say hasty words. I entertain critical thoughts. On my own, I do not have what it takes to, as Ann Voskamp says, “live this one life well”. Yet, I praise God! Though the events of the past year have revealed my deep and startling limitations, they have also unveiled to me the completeness of Christ’s sufficiency. This past year, I made a big life transition and moved from my home of 17 years to a new community. Living far from family and lifelong friends has been more difficult than I anticipated. I came with expectations of a seamless transition and of doing this transplanting thing right, so I was shocked when, instead, I felt bowled over by the adjustments. I dreaded going to work at the God-gifted job I had moved for. Making new friends turned out to be really tough. My whole identity felt rearranged, and in the emotional upheaval of change, loneliness often kept me home, hiding in my room wishing someone would come find me. The thing about life, though, is that it doesn’t wait for us. I had to get up and keep going to work, paying bills, and managing a magazine. Many days I felt so emotionally raw that I could barely find the physical energy for my daily tasks. In the past, I met trouble with the support of close friends and my own mental toughness. This past year, those sentinels of strength were stripped from my life. I learned to reach out to Jesus more vulnerably than I ever have before. In the absence of people and situations to ease or distract me from the burdens, I learned to lay my heart before the Lord, telling Him my troubles, and crying out to Him for help. “Jesus, I need you!” became, and continues to be, my prayer. He heard my cries, and answered, often in the form of Scriptural promises: “I know your heart’s desires and will satisfy them. You are my beloved. If you walk with me, no harm with come to you. I will turn your night of sorrow into the morning of joy.” Affirmations of His good heart toward me brought hope. Many days I experienced a supernatural strength that carried me through long days and tough
decisions. Moment by moment, He encouraged my heart and brought rest where before I had been consumed by anxiety. It became clear to me that grace is for the present moment; not tonight, or tomorrow, or next month. It is for now; fashioned to fit my unique need. I think we often feel like grace would be better if it came in larger swaths. It seems it would be easier to lean on Jesus if we had long-term guarantees, rather than the call to trust Him, moment by moment by moment. Yet, this is what keeps us near His heart. Being in situations that make us acutely aware of our deficiencies is what keeps us continually depending on Him. It is the place where growth happens, and where His power is most felt. Growing into new seasons of life calls for new kinds of dependence on Jesus. This is how life should be. To become fully mature in the faith, it is necessary to encounter new limitations that we might also discover new aspects of Christ’s sufficiency on our behalf. Several months ago I was hired as the Nurse Manager of a faith-based crisis pregnancy center. There, I have the extraordinary privilege of caring for women in unwanted pregnancies; ministering to their physical needs while also caring for their emotional and spiritual injuries. Many of these women come with heartbreaking stories. For the women who are already struggling in difficult and complex life situations, an unexpected pregnancy can be devastating. Never before have I felt that my words and actions carry so much weight. If a baby’s life is on the line, reaching the mother’s heart is imperative. A few weeks ago, a client sat in my office and told me she wanted an abortion. She told of the recent death of her fiancé, the father of her four children; how afterward she’d had a breakdown and lost her youngest child to the state. Bitterly she explained that the father of this baby was already out of the picture, incapable of taking care of himself let alone her and a child. She had no money, no job, no car, and was shut out by her family. Whatever faith she once possessed had been buried beneath an avalanche of pain and loss. Having a baby now was just too overwhelming. Everything I could think of to say sounded horribly trite. Her pain was deeper than any I have ever experienced, and her current situation was complex and difficult. I made some kind comments but they felt shallow and dissonant with the deeper needs of her heart. I felt lost in my big office chair, wondering why God would call me, a sheltered little Mennonite girl, to a ministry in which I would be caught at a loss for words. (Maybe you feel this way too, in the tasks God has called you to: mothering, marital struggle, relating to a lost friend, coping with long years of singleness.) Paul’s words in II Corinthians 2:15,16 expressed exactly the inadequacy I felt in that moment: “For we are the aroma of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing; to one a fragrance from death to death, to the other a fragrance from life to life. Who is sufficient for these things?” Being entrusted with the truth is heavy. A lot of times I feel too clumsy to wield it properly. But then I remembered the rock of truth behind
FOR WE ARE THE AROMA OF CHRIST TO GOD AMONG THOSE WHO ARE BEING SAVED AND AMONG THOSE WHO ARE PERISHING....
WHO IS SUFFICIENT FOR THESE THINGS?
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BUT OUR SUFFICIENCY IS FROM GOD, who has made us sufficient to be ministers of a new covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit. [II Cor. 3:6] every believer’s mysterious strength, the stunning answer Paul gives to His own question: “Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God, who has made us sufficient to be ministers of a new covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit.” (II Cor. 3:5,6, ESV) These words must be some of the most powerful declarations in Scripture. They hit me like a splash of water, awakening my heart. Yes! I am sufficient because Christ lives in me! He is the Savior and I am His vessel. I am not called to save lives, but to show Christ. If my primary agenda is preventing an abortion, then the plan is easily thwarted; my work is in vain. But if my chief goal is to share Jesus’ love, then nothing can interfere. The oppressing fear of saying the wrong thing or missing the perfect opportunity, lifted. The words of the Holy Spirit simply came: “Jesus loves you so much. He cares about what you have been through and He wants to bring you healing.” She began to cry, strong demeanor crumbling as the tender presence of Jesus touched her heart. It was a sweet and unexpected moment. The next day, my client returned for an ultrasound. There were more tears as she glimpsed her baby for the first time, marveled at its miniature perfection, saw its tiny heartbeat. This precious lady chose life that day. Her decision was not because I was so eloquent or so smart, but because of Jesus who used me in my weakness to serve as a vessel of His love. This was a powerful lesson in my life. How many times do I get -24-
in the way of the Holy Spirit by believing I have to do His job? Do I really think God needs my great strength and wisdom to accomplish His plans? There is something freeing about letting God be God. It frees the tongue, releases supernatural wisdom, and empowers me with strength I could never possess on my own. When I stop defying my innate human inadequacy and instead hold it up as an offering to God, His sufficiency becomes mine. There is no shame in admitting our innate weakness to God. In fact, it is those weaknesses – physical or emotional - that qualify us to receive God’s power. This is the reverse economy of the Kingdom: in Christ the poor are made rich, the weak made strong, and the humble lifted up. It is good for me to understand my human insufficiencies. They keep me humbled and calibrated to the reality of Who God is. As I experience my own weakness, I am exposed to His sweet grace, a gift I could not receive if I was not in need. My inadequacy reveals Christ’s sufficiency. Setting aside my self-strivings to depend fully on God is a process. I often wrestle with how to apply the concept practically to my daily life. This story from II Kings 4:1-7 has been meaningful in my journey: “The wife of a man from the company of the prophets cried out to Elisha, “Your servant my husband is dead, and you know that he revered the Lord. But now his creditor is coming to take my two boys as his slaves.” Elisha replied to her, “How can I help you? Tell me, what do you have in your house?” “Your servant has nothing there at all,” she said,
was this small flask of oil that multiplied to buy her sons’ freedom. We might ask ourselves the question: What do I have in my house? Our smallest, most unlikely resource—even the thing we deem a weakness—may be the thing that God intends to multiply into the fulfillment of our needs. Stop and take inventory. Look in the corners of your heart and life and see what resources of time, money, talent, and wisdom you have available. Then, take those resources and, as the widow did, put them to use. Elisha instructed her: “Go borrow empty jars from all your neighbors. Don’t ask for a just few. Then, go into your house, close the door, and fill the jars.” What an astonishing command! It might have sounded irrational to this woman, but she obeyed. She prepared for abundance without any rock-solid guarantees that it would come. Yet she was obedient to Elisha’s command and gathered every available receptacle. Her faith was miraculously rewarded. As I’ve pondered this story afresh, I have been amazed to realize that the amount of jars she gathered determined the amount of provision she received. Scripture tells us that the oil stopped multiplying as soon as the last jar was full. What if she had only borrowed two? The oil would have stopped flowing when they were full, and the income generated would not have been sufficient to pay off her debts. This is sobering to me. God invites me to test Him; to offer up my meager flask of oil and see if he won’t fill every empty jar I can get my hands on. Yet often my faith is short-sighted, and when I find myself in need, I stop collecting at two.
“except a small jar of olive oil.” Elisha said, “Go around and ask all your neighbors for empty jars. Don’t ask for just a few. Then go inside and shut the door behind you and your sons. Pour oil into all the jars, and as each is filled, put it to one side.” She left him and shut the door behind her and her sons. They brought the jars to her and she kept pouring. When all the jars were full, she said to her son, “Bring me another one.” But he replied, “There is not a jar left.” Then the oil stopped flowing. She went and told the man of God, and he said, “Go, sell the oil and pay your debts. You and your sons can live on what is left.” This story captivates me. We read of a woman who is, in every way, at the end of her rope. Her husband and provider is dead. Her sons are about to be taken as slaves to settle her debts. This woman has no other options; she is destitute, and she knows it. Here is the first lesson about claiming God’s sufficiency: I must recognize, like the widow woman, that I am inadequate. I do not have what it takes...to save a life, cancel an emotional debt, be a kind person, or cope with ministry challenges. Admitting my brokenness gives God room to work. Stubbornly insisting that I am capable dams up His grace and leads to spiritual destitution. Like the widow, it is important that we know who to ask for help. This lady recognized Elisha as a man who could help her and she went boldly to him. Even the strongest people in our lives aren’t enough to shore up the weakest parts of our souls. We need something more to equip us for our daily tasks. In my own life, I am learning to run to God first with my needs-great or smallcrying, “Jesus I need you!” Time spent with Him brings wisdom and solace that no human being or circumstance can. I love Elisha’s response to this woman’s plea for help: “What do you have in your house?” She answered: “I have nothing there at all…” and then added, “except a small jar of oil.” It must have seemed almost ridiculous to mention something so small. Yet it
God is calling you and me to borrow empty jars; to prepare for abundant provision. Stepping out in faith is scary, but like a muscle, faith grows strong with practice. I encourage you to begin with small steps. Today, do something that requires faith: start a life-giving conversation with a stranger. Share your testimony in church. Enforce that new daily routine your kids will hate but you know they need. Be honest with a friend. When we ask God to come through for us, and then prepare for plenty, we communicate our love to Him. He invites us to trust Him completely, and promises to abundantly respond: “I am the LORD your God, who brought you up out of the land of Egypt. Open your mouth wide, and I will fill it.” (Ps. 81:10, ESV). The degree to which I trust Him is the degree to which I will experience His sufficiency. The Lord has been my sufficiency over and over again. When I come up empty, I cry to Him for help and He hears me. The strength, wisdom, and courage that is the result is as miraculous as the widow’s provision of oil. I want to be more like her, freely confessing my need, asking for help, and then preparing for plenty. Like the small village child who came with many thousands to hear Jesus, I have nothing to offer Him save a few loaves and fishes. They will never be enough to meet my needs or the needs of those around me. So I will give them to Jesus. He will multiply my meager offering to feed multitudes and to fill me as well. |
My inadequacy REVEALS Christ’s SUFFICIENCY. -25-
Keeping Relationships
by Tina Newson
CS Lewis said, “Friendship is unnecessary,
like philosophy, like art. It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival.” In other words, life without friendship is reduced to mere survival. We can function, we can make do, we can go through the motions yet we are alone without friends. This is simply not part of the design for mankind. Over and over in scripture we see examples of how we are created for relationship. Our triune God represents a perfect blend of relationship in The Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit. In Genesis we see clearly that man was not meant to live alone so a help mate was created for him. However we were created for more then a life partner in the form of a spouse. We need others. Jesus himself walked closely with a group of men he called friends. Clearly we are created to relate closely to others. If this is indeed the case then why do so many endure loneliness and isolation? Friendship takes time and energy, two commodities that many of us find ourselves running short on. We live in a society that rewards tangible productivity. We often find ourselves pulled in too many different directions at once. We work hard, play hard and we are tired. For friendships to flourish priorities have to be shifted and time carved out to develop relationships. However there are other barriers that block connection with others.
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There is also the question of, “is it worth it?” Imperfect people love imperfectly. Song writer Bob Marley puts it this way, “The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.” All of us have been hurt at one time or another by someone we considered our friend; sometime those wounds go very deep and keep us guarded. If we have been wounded by relationship then it is possible to find healing through relationship (a more in depth look at this concept will be explored in future issues of DOP). It is clear that relating closely to others is part of God’s plan for our lives. Relationships can be be challenging but there are steps we can take to help keep friendships SIMPLE:
S-
SPEAK honestly. The depth of a relationship can be measured by the level of truth spoken. Be aware of how many times you lie in the name of not wanting to hurt feelings or cause conflict. When called upon for favors are you able to say no freely without guilt? If not then figure out why, maybe you’re a people pleaser or maybe you’re relating to someone who is punishing if s/he doe not get their way.
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INSTINCT is the gut feeling about a person that indicates if a person is safe for you. For many reasons we are drawn to and repelled by certain people. Trust your gut.
M- MANAGE your resources of time and energy.
Be realistic with yourself and others about what you can give and what others can expect of you.
Streamline activities by mixing responsibilities with recreation. For example spend a day cooking a week’s worth of dinners together.
P- PACE your relationship. Trust requires time. There
is a direct correlation to closeness and time spent together. When developing friendship, be confident of your new friend’s level of confidentiality before sharing your areas of vulnerability. Guarding your heart in healthy ways helps friendships to flourish.
L-
LISTEN to what is being said and what is not being said. Sometimes messages are mixed. Have you ever asked a friend how they’re doing and they say the standard, “I’m fine” but become misty eyed at the same time? Sometimes a kind invitation is all someone needs to share. “You look upset, sure everything is alright?”
E- ENJOY. Focus on mutually enjoyable activities
and have fun together. Be aware of relationships that become burdensome. Ponder the reasons for the heaviness and resolve when possible. Relationships are meant to enhance our life. We are naturally drawn to those we have things in common with. As we grow and change our friendships will also grow and change. Healthy friendships provide support, affirmation and fun. Ecclesiastics 6:14 “ A faithful friend is a strong defense: and he that hath found such has found a treasure.”
Photography by Kristi Smucker
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by Lauren Stoltzfoos Photography by Nora Mobley
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THE WEARY
HEART finding meaning and hope in your dark holiday.
THE WORLD WHISPERED COLD
a few days before Christmas. A time when it seemed everyone else was rejoicing in the love of family and friends, I felt lost. Pulling my coat tighter from the wind, ignoring the Christmas jingles and merrymakers, I walked slowly in the falling snow. Christmas did not feel like Christmas that year; my nose and heart numb, every lit tree and every carol were a reminder to me that my life was not right. Maybe this is you right now? You dread the holidays because of a loss, a new complicated season or a sad turn of events. The questions, the pain, the unfulfilled longings shout loudly demanding to be answered. There is no silent night for your heart this winter. Perhaps you are serving in the mission field; the heat and the new culture make you want to board every plane you see flying overhead (oh yeah, I’ve been there). You are a new bride in a new community and a trip home isn’t going to happen; it’s the first Christmas you ever spent away from your family. You feel misplaced, uprooted. Or maybe you have to go home to your family, and you dread it. It’s no
Hallmark card around your family Christmas table. Maybe you have just experienced a tremendous, heart-shattering loss and the idea of entering the holidays is paralyzing. It hurts too much to even think about the obligatory festivities. I don’t know your situation, but I do know that holidays have a way of amplifying the pain in one’s life. It can seem like everyone is happy but you. Comparison is the thief of joy. Living in a loss of any kind gives you the (false!) perspective that everyone has someone and everyone has it better. Don’t fall into comparing. Let go of the expectations (“This is how it always has been, and this is how it always must be.”) and the sense of entitlement (“I deserve a perfect life with a perfect holiday, just how I want it.”). Psalms is full of David counseling his heart. I love the thought of talking to our heart, telling it a thing or two: “Soul, let’s get back on track.” Or as David said, “Why are you cast down, Oh my soul? And why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise Him, my salvation.” (Psalm 42:5) The holidays offer many opportunities of counseling our hearts,
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guarding them from comparison and entitlement-- and guiding them into truth and thankfulness. In the ebb and flow life, there will be happy holidays and sad holidays. I’m so sorry if you are in a sad holiday this winter. But, please know, it is okay for this holiday to be shaded darker than the others in your life. Allow it to bring you closer to Jesus, for you to feel the need of His healing deeper than you have ever felt it before. Years ago my father left our family right before the holidays. It was the worst holiday season ever. I spent Thanksgiving dinner crying, broken-hearted, in a dark room. I didn’t eat a thing that day. I was sure I would never eat again. But God and time brought perspective. I did eat again--and I have had many, many happy Thanksgivings since that horrible holiday. The sadness of yesterday brings new thankfulness to the joy of today. The painful holidays, the one where the friends were gone and the settings were new and the family strewn, are the ones that brought me to my knees the longest, the hardest. The one where I felt like I was walking with a heart in two pieces is the one I look back on and feel Jesus closest, the story of His coming to earth the most meaningful (because isn’t it when we feel like we need saving the most that we are most thankful for salvation?). If you are in a shaded dark holiday this year, I cry with you, hold you close. It’s sad to be sad during the holidays. But, please remember, it will not be like this forever. This too shall pass. There will be happier days ahead. Walk in this changing situation knowing the tears will turn to smiles again, the beautiful Christmas happiness will return. I promise. Now my holidays are bright (although I still can’t listen to “I’ll be home for Christmas,” without tearing up). It’s about wrapping a bow around a green tractor for my little boy, stealing a kiss from my husband under the mistletoe and enjoying time with family and friends close. It’s a good season, a season of rest and joy. I know that it’s a gift, this season of joy, and I hold it close--cradle it softly in my hands, knowing how fragile it is. It can all change in a blink, a flash. While I cradle this gift of joy, I cry with my friends whose holidays look dark, painful, unsettling this year. I pray for my friend who has an empty crib, a young wife who reaches to find her husband missing in the night, a friend who watches lovers all around her and silently wonders if she will ever have a family of her own. I cry with my friend who is lonely in a new community, feeling misplaced and forgotten. Together we are Tiny Tims looking into the window of plenty and joy with our fingers numb and tummies hollow, wishing for something to make the ache go away. That something is Jesus. He is the true meaning behind the holidays, and He is the only reason we can have hope when all seems dark during them. He alone will fill us with good things. Spend lots of time with Jesus to keep yourself grounded and to gain fresh perspective on what He is doing in your life this holiday. And—be gentle, very gentle with yourself. Being in a new setting -- whether physically or emotionally-- is a vulnerable, scary place. The holidays have a way of making -30-
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the vulnerable heart even more raw and tender. Be prepared for unexpected pain – and unexpected joy. Let the tears flow; don’t try to pretend everything is okay. But don’t fall into despair. God is in the healing business. He will heal. Joy is around the corner. Redemption is nigh. And isn’t that what Christmas is all about? Redemption. Jesus came to redeem; that’s His chief business. He wants to take the hard things of life and make them into something beautiful. He wants to take your hard holiday and turn into something beautiful. Allow Him to do His work. Mary, the mother of Jesus, found herself in the center of the Christmas story in a very changing world. In many ways, her life was being painted in a swirl of unexpected, complicated colors. Her response to her changing circumstances are in Luke 1:46-55. She says, “My soul glorifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior.” She also sings, “He fills the hungry with good things.” He does fill us with good things. I pray your life will be full of good things this season, even in the loss, the uprooting, and the disappointments. Keep your heart open and tender to the good things He will bring your way. Allow him to bring you joy this holiday. I remember a week before Christmas, after my dad left, I hadn’t smiled for days. My heart was in so much pain. Someone said something funny, and I laughed. First, a smile and then, a belly-laugh. It actually hurt to smile, but it was healing. I felt a twinge of guilt from laughing at a time of such loss, but I realized God was giving me a gift through that funny word- a reprieve from the sadness, no matter how fleeting. Allow God to give you joy. Keep your heart open for it, for pain increases the heart to receive joy. This is your beautiful story, even if the paints right now on the canvas are strong strokes of blacks and grays. The shaded parts will only make the bright parts that more glorious. The darkness will bring new meaning to the light. One day you will look back on this sad and unsettling time and say, “Thank you and amen.” Weary heart, rejoice. Your redemption is nigh.
MEET THE AUTHOR
Lauren Stoltzfoos lives in Lancaster City, Pennsylvania with her husband, Delmar, and little boy, Hudson. Some of her favorite times of the day are when her husband comes home from work and when her little boy snuggles in for a story. She loves simple living, making beauty out of ugly and hosting people at her home. She would love to hear from you! Write to her delmarandlauren@gmail.com
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Practical Ways to Make the Holidays Bright
~ If you are in a new community, don’t just wait for an invitation. Invite a group of ladies from church for a Christmas brunch or cookie exchange. Sometimes people are just as scared of the new person as the new person is scared of the people. ~ Bake cookies and take them to your neighbors. As we give to others, we gain fresh perspective and joy. ~ Volunteer with a refugee program, a homeless shelter, a kids club, a nursing home. Visit a shut-in. Right in your own community there are many people who are hurting and could use some cheer and a touch of Jesus. Sometimes getting out of our own selves and pain is the best thing we can do. It’s a good reminder that life is not about us. ~ Be grateful for the little things, the little blessings, which surround each day. Keep your eyes wide open to the story God is writing for you this holiday season. ~ Read the Christmas story. Reflect on all that He has done for you, even if it is hard to be thankful or grateful right now.
OF ONE THING I AM PERFECTLY SURE: GOD’S STORY NEVER ENDS WITH ‘ASHES’. Elisabeth Elliot,
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SOMEONE HE’D LIKE YOU TO MEET by Benji Mast Photography by Lorida Burkholder
When you board a bus, do you put your bag on the seat beside you so you don’t have to talk with anyone? When you go to parties do you look for a cup of punch to hold and a corner to stand in? If you work with people you don’t have much in common with, do you avoid them? If you can identify, you probably consider yourself an introvert. Or perhaps you consider some people too difficult to talk to. I beg to differ. You may be introverted, someone who gets weary from prolonged exposure to people. I know I am. But that’s not the real reason we struggle to engage in meaningful conversation. Perhaps the people we’d like to talk to are aloof. However, what comes off as aloofness is often fear in them, and it is not the real reason we find it difficult to begin to talk with that person. The real reason is something else, but you’re not going to like it very much. Have you ever had two friends that you think should meet? When I got to know this guy named
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Caleb at college, I knew he should meet my brother. My brother Hans writes a regular news column because he’s the kind of guy who knows all the events going on in the world. Hans’ IQ is somewhere between really high and extremely high. He completed high school in two years because he could. Caleb is into politics and smart stuff too. He’s the kind of guy who does internships in Washington D.C. and was elected student body president his junior year. That was after he also won it his sophomore year. I wanted Caleb and Hans to meet. I just thought if they talked then the world could be saved, or at least the conversation would be very interesting. One night Caleb called me. He needed some ideas for an essay about libertarian policy. I confidently told him I was pretty sure I knew what libertarian policy was, but guessed he wanted a little more. I glanced at Hans sitting across the living room. “Just a sec, let me put you on speaker phone,
EVEREST GODLY MEN ENCOURAGE US ON TO THE SUMMIT.
I have someone who might have some ideas.” And so finally Caleb and Hans talked. I didn’t say much; I just nodded and smiled. I nodded, because I was pretending that I knew what they were talking about. I smiled because it pleased me so much to hear them talking finally. I imagine God is like that too. I imagine that since God is a huge fan of everyone he knows, and he knows everyone, that he has billions of connections he hopes to make for people. Some of the connections he hopes to make between two of his children include you. He has people he wants you to meet. God thinks they are fabulously interesting and he says to us, “If only you’d meet them, you’d share my opinion.” However, our response is often, “I’m not an outgoing person,” or “I feel like they don’t want to talk with me.” Both of those reasons have a problem: they are selfcentered excuses. We are reticent because we focus on ourselves. Focus on others and things will change. Let me clarify. There are a couple things I am not
saying. I am not saying that you should try to interact with people in greater volumes. This is draining for some personalities. I am not saying you should add a multitude of close friends. Everyone should find and cultivate those few close friendships. I am saying get over yourself, embrace humility, lower yourself, raise others up, and focus on those around you. The discoveries you make will surprise you. I was wandering the cobblestones streets of Jerusalem on a rainy November day when I ducked into a long narrow shop. The walls were lined with clay pots, silver dishes, and olive woodcarvings. A Muslim-Arab shop keeper named Omar leaned against his counter in the back. The image in my head of Muslim-Arabs was that they were Jew-hating terrorists. I was interested in talking to one in real life. After I’d made my purchase we began to chat. I asked him the question bothering me ever since I’d arrived in the city, “Will peace ever come to Jerusalem?” “Listen,” he said, “When I was a boy in 1967, the Israelis bombed our house. I was burned and received these scars.” He pulled up his pant leg to reveal the burns
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that bore witness. “My sweet mother and two sisters were not so lucky. Now they are in the hands of Allah the merciful.” He turned away and rearranged something on the shelf. When he turned back, the steel in his face startled me. “Tell me this, how many Israelis must I kill to avenge my family? One Israeli for each of my family members? Would five be enough? Ten? There are not enough Jews in the world that could die to make up for what they did to my family.” I blinked and swallowed. ”There will only be peace in Jerusalem when we say, ‘Enough. No more justice.’ We don’t need more justice. We need mercy.” My precious stereotypes thoroughly smashed, I walked away humbled and asking God if there was anyone else he’d like to introduce to me. When you begin to pay attention to other people you begin to make discoveries, some simple and some profound. No one is ordinary. Allow yourself to be staggered by the wonder and glory of the person beside you on the bus, across the room at the party, or smoking by her car after work. C. S. Lewis says it best: “The load, or weight, or burden of my neighbour’s glory should be laid daily on my back, a load so heavy that only humility can carry it, and the backs of the proud will be broken. It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses… it is with the awe and the circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics. There are no ordinary people.”* Perhaps Lewis got carried away in his desire to be poetic and colorful, and overstated things a bit. Perhaps, but what does it mean to be made in the image of God? For many of us, it has become religious cliché, almost devoid of meaning. Lewis’ creative shout shakes the dust from our complacency and says, “There are no ordinary humans! People are god-like! Honor them!”
This subject is important for women for two reasons:
1. A Woman’s Place:
Conservative Anabaptism says that men and women have different roles. At its worst, this can create women who wash dishes
WHEN YOU BEGIN
TO PAY ATTENTION TO OTHER PEOPLE YOU BEGIN TO MAKE DISCOVERIES, SOME SIMPLE AND SOME PROFOUND.
The Apostle Paul makes a similar point in Philippians: Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interest of others. Phillippians 2:2, 3 (NIV) But how? How do you follow Paul and Lewis’ heart when in conversation? What does it mean to consider someone better than yourself when talking with them? For this, I have one answer, only one practical word of advice. Ask lots of questions. This is the most unselfish conversational act you can perform, and if you believe that others are more important than yourself, questions should flow naturally. People love talking about themselves and very few people will hesitate to answer questions from a good listener. Jesus asked questions to stir conversations, “Whose image is on the coin? Which is easier: to say, ‘Your sins are forgiven,’ or to say, ‘Get up and walk’? Who was this man’s neighbor? What did Moses command you (concerning divorce)?” -36-
The Gospels record Jesus asking over a hundred questions. More than anyone else in history, Jesus of Nazareth focused on others. He never wished that those prickly Pharisees wouldn’t be so snobby. He never complained that he had no one more familiar to talk with than that Samaritan woman.
NO ONE IS ORDINARY.
but do not influence people for the kingdom. Men and women are different and have different parts to play, but remember, except for passages explicitly directed towards men, the rest of the New Testament still applies to women, The Great Commission, looking to the interests of others, and following the pattern of Jesus’ earthly life are directives that call for taking initiative, stepping out, and being proactive.
2. The Feminine Advantage:
Men are made for battle. Women are made for connection. It’s why we like the movies that we do. This
ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE STAGGERED BY THE
WONDER AND GLORY OF THE PERSON BESIDE YOU.
means that if we are choosing people who can influence through conversation, I’ll take the gal over a guy every time. You ladies have a superpower to connect but some of you are either using this power for yourself or not at all. My sister Heidi gets it. She focuses on others a lot. Last month it was the twenty-one-year-old Jessica**, sitting on a park bench, looking despondent. Heidi pulled over and walked over to her. She asked Jessica about her situation, and as Heidi listened, the story tumbled out. She had no money and no house. The state took away her three children because she was unable to care for them. The fathers couldn’t even care for her, much less the children they’d brought into the world. She’d do anything to get her babies back, but saw no hope. Several weeks later, we’d helped her settle into a new place. We hoped that the state would return her children now that she was in a better situation. One night, Heidi was talking to her new friend and began explaining the gospel. Something clicked for Jessica and that night she accepted Jesus as her Savior from her sins. Accepting him as Lord of her life will no doubt be a long struggle, but the celebration in heaven was long and enthusiastic in heaven that night. The angels were happy, but the biggest smile belonged to Jesus. For a long time, He knew Jessica and cherished her. He also knew Heidi and thought she was amazing. He just wished they would know each other. He knew that if they could just meet, the world could be saved, or at least person’s world. And he was right. Next time you board a bus, enter a crowded room, or walk out to your car with a co-worker, get over yourself. Focus on others. And ask questions. God has some people he’d like you to meet. |
MEET THE AUTHOR: Benji lives in sunset
Kansas where he shoots weddings, manages rental properties, and serves in youth ministry. His formal education is done for now after four years at Faith Builders and Sterling College. He’s made friends in several dozen countries. He often wishes he’d have more time to read and play basketball. An ideal evening would be staying at home, eating from the grill, and making up games with his siblings. *Lewis, C. S.. The weight of glory and other addresses. San Francisco: Harper SanFrancisco, 2001. 45-46 **Name changed to protect privacy
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the French Macaron -38-
Luxurious and delicate, the French macaron is one of Europe’s most famed pastry delights. Its origin is ancient, yet the delicate macaron continues to be representative of fine French culture. Shyly, but progressively embraced in America, the macaron is truly an example of culinary artistry.
My best friend Brittany
and I love to cook, and we fancy ourselves culinary extraordinaires. As regularly as possible, we get together to experiment with random gourmet dishes and to practice our stunning plating skills. Anyone can throw a casserole together; we enjoy challenging ourselves to new culinary heights, and hope we can inspire you as well! Our latest baking interest is the French macaron, a stunning pastry composed of two fragile meringue shells which sandwich a light, delicious filling. Brittany and I got together several weeks ago to try our hand at this delicate dessert, and wanted to share the results with you - in the hopes that you too will step a bit out of your comfort zone and give this elegant pastry a try! Our cooking tends to reflect our attitude - ever notice that? Cooking done with precision and care generally produces orderly, savory results. Haphazard, rushed work often results in a sloppy product. You will find both of these truths especially true in the construction of macarons. Their perfection (even edibility!)requires a precise series of steps, executed with care and sensibility. Don’t be intimidated by this, but simply take your time and be willing to experiment in order to master the perfect cookie! Before we get to the fun stuff of recipes and helpful tips, it is necessary to understand the basics of macarons themselves. What, exactly, are they? And why am I spelling the word with only one ‘o’? You are probably most familiar with the traditional “macaroon”, a hearty, flourless confectionry that can be crafted relatively quickly. This egg-white-based cookie is thought to have hailed from Scotland, though the exact heritage is not entirely known. It’s
basic identity remains unchanged: the macaroon consists of 3 basic ingredients: coconut, egg whites, and sugar. The macaron, on the other hand, is distinctly different. Spelled with only one ‘o’, the word ‘macaron’ hails from the Italian word maccherone (think macaroni), which means, “a pasta dish with cheese”, and is pronounced “mah-kah-ROHN”. French lore suggests that macarons made their debut in the country a few centuries ago when the Italian Catherine de’ Medici marrried Henry II and brought her Italian chefs with her to France. They introduced macarons: cookies made of almonds, sugar, and egg whites. At that time, macarons consistsed of only one flat cookie, rather than the sandwich-type dessert popular today. In old France, nuns were the driving force behind macarons, which provided an important source of income for many monastic orders. In the late 18th century, having been forbidden to eat meat, the nuns of a particular French convent began making macarons for their nutritional value. When the convent closed during the French Revolution, two of the sisters continued baking macarons to make a living for themselves. They became famous as the “les Soeurs Macarons”, aka, “the macaron sisters”. Today, a street in Nancy, France still bears this name in their honor. Macarons as a cookie sandwich are a relatively new invention. Not until the early 20th century did a man named Pierre Desfontaines have the idea to pipe a gonache filling on one shell and cap with another. Today, this is the going standard for serving the Parisian-style macaron, a sweet treat which can be found as common bakery fare throughout France and other European and Asian countries. Progressively, but shyly, the macaron is making its way into America, being available mainly in larger metropolitan areas and still relatively expensive.
written and photographed by Rae Schrock, in collaboration with Brittany Shult
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The macaron as we know it today consists of two meringue-based cookies that are neither cloyingly sweet nor bland; between which are sandwiched a creambased, gonache, or jam filling. Macarons come in a rainbow of flavors and colors, from lemon to chocolate to bacon. The crust of a macaron cookie is delicate, like an eggshell. It should be smooth, crisp and not chewy; and should shatter on the tongue upon biting into it. Past the smooth egg-shell-fragile top is a moist, soft cookie that, during baking, spreads into what is known as the “feet”: a crisp, slightly porous edge that develops around the base of the cookie. Macarons are not common fare in the average US bakery. But why wait until you make a trip to the Big City to try these lovely treats? Brittany and I had marvelous success and we’ve officially been bitten by the macaron bug. Our latest favorite recipe is for maple-cinnamon macarons - a perfect Autumn treat that pairs wonderfully with some piping hot espresso. We’ve included the recipe, along with some tips we have found helpful in achieving macaron success. Give them a try! You’re sure to fall in love.
Maple & Cinnamon Macarons 3 Egg Whites (room temperature) ¼ cup white sugar (super fine) (50 g) 2 cups confectioners sugar (200 g) 1 cup almond flour (120 g) pinch of salt ¼ tsp cream of tartar (2 ml) maple extract cinnamon PREP: Preheat oven to 300*F. Line baking sheets with parchment paper. STEP 1: Blast mix the confectioners’ sugar and almond flour in a food processor (if no processor, triple sift the almond flour and discard lumps). Double sift the mixture, discarding any lumps. STEP 2: Place egg whites in mixing bowl and beat to a soft peak. Add cream of tartar. Slowly add granulated sugar 1 teaspoon at a time. Beat egg white to very stiff peaks. STEP 3: Add maple flavor to taste. If you wish to color your macarons, add food coloring now. STEP 4: Fold together the egg whites and flour mixture. This step is crucial - see Tip #4 for helpful advice on the mixing process. STEP 5: Fill a pastry bag with batter and pipe into 1”-1 1/2” dollops on the cookie sheet. STEP 6: Pound each pan 2-3 times on the counter to release air bubbles. Lightly sprinkle cinnamon over the tops. Let rest for at least 30 minutes. STEP 7: Bake one sheet at a time in a fully heated oven, for about 20 minutes. To test for doneness, place a finger on one of the shells and gently move from side to side. If the cookie wiggles, it is not done yet. When done, the cookies will be firm and their tops will shatter easily under slight pressure. STEP 8: Remove from oven and allow to cool completely before removing from rack. Pipe shells with buttercream frosting and let cookies age in refrigerator for a day or two to allow for maximum flavor absorption. YIELD: 24 completed sandwich cookies
MAPLE CINNAMON BUTTERCREAM FILLING 5 tablespoons salted butter 5 tablespoons shortening maple extract, to taste 2 cups confectioners’ sugar 2 tablespoons milk Beat together butter and shortening til smooth. Add maple flavor, stopping to taste occasionally until you achieve the right level of flavor. Mix in sugar, and lastly, milk. Beat til smooth. Pipe onto macaron shells. ENJOY! -40-
TIPS & TRICKS
1. USE ALMOND FLOUR, not almond aging them for at least 48 hours - the meal. This makes all the difference in the world. Almond flour is a little pricey, but well worth the extra expense for the quality of product it produces.
2. TRIPLE SIFT the almond flour and
discard any clumps. Then, combine it with confectioners’ sugar and double sift. The more powdery your dry ingredients, the prettier and smoother your macaron shells will be.
3. HANDLE EGG WHITES with care.
First, make sure that they have come to room temperature. Some recommend
longer they rest, the better the protein will stretch when making meringue. Second, strain the whites to make sure there are no globs. Thirdly, make sure that everything coming into contact with the egg whites is squeaky clean. Any drops of oil, yolk, water, etc. in the mixing-ware will ruin your meringue.
4. MIX THE MACARON BATTER
CAREFULLY and quickly. Underfolding will create puffy, cracked cookies, while overfolding will result in hard, flat ones. Flip spatula beneath batter while turning the bowl. The batter is done when it comes off the spatula ribbon-like, like
lava, and appears somewhat viscous. Some estimate that it takes 65-75 turns of the spatula to achieve perfection.
5. ONCE THE BATTER IS PIPED onto
the pans, allow it rest for at least 30 minutes before baking. The cookies should be “tacky” to touch, and not stick to your finger.
6. TAKE YOUR TIME. Because these
cookies are so delectable, it’s tempting to rush the process. However, little details are the path to excellence. Allow the oven to preheat completely before baking, let shells cool before removing from pans, etc.
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My Holiday Home As the holidays approach and cold weather sets in, my creative energy is channeled into my home. I love the challenge of finding fresh ways to decorate, while maintaining a cozy, inviting atmosphere! I’m going to share a few tips I’ve learned about styling my home for the holidays on a budget. |
1. BRING IN THE OUTDOORS! Fall leaves, fresh evergreen and even branches can give that natural, woodsy feel that is perfect for any time of the year. The children and I went on a “treasure hunt” one evening, and we found some feathers as well as a few stems of money plant. It was a fun way to get the little people involved, not to mention the bonus of free décor! The money plant looks lovely in a vintage jar that I had, and I used 3 feathers that I’d collected to create some new artwork. Find a simple frame and cut paper to fit inside of it. I used plain white, but gray or even black would work too! Hot glue feathers on to your paper, in whatever pattern you choose. I added some lettering, but it would look just as nice without that. Pop your art into the frame and mount it on the wall!
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Content and Photography by Ruby Showalter
3. BLING IT UP! Gold spray paint is the
easiest way to take your décor up a notch. Try using it on an old frame, dried flowers and leaves or old bottles. For a Thanksgiving centerpiece, transform a pumpkin with gold paint and elevate it on a cake stand or flower pot. If you have access to a magnolia tree, spray the leaves gold and hot glue them to a simple wreath form. They make an elegant wreath that will last all winter!
2. GET COZY. Pull out that old blanket that you inherited from your grandma,
and drape it over a chair, or look for a cozy new fleece to store in a woven basket. You can’t have too many to snuggle in at bedtime! Make a cup of hot coffee, tea or even some hot mulled cider to sip on. One of my favorite winter drinks is a homemade chai latte. It’s a wonderful addition to a holiday brunch, or just to drink as an afternoon pick-me up.
Homemade Chai Latte 2 Lipton tea bags 2 cups water 1 cinnamon stick 1 whole clove ¼ tsp ground ginger Combine ingredients and bring to boil. Reduce heat, cover and simmer for 5 min. Stir in 2 ½ cups of milk and return to a boil for 1 min. Strain and discard non-liquid ingredients and stir in 1/3 cup sugar until dissolved. Top with whipped cream and sprinkle with cinnamon. Yield: 4 servings.
5. INVEST IN PEOPLE RATHER THAN THINGS.
It is so easy for us to get lost in the frenzy of getting rather than experience the simple joy that comes in giving. Develop the art of hospitality! If preparing a full-course meal overwhelms you, ask your friends to bring salad and bread to add to a pot of soup. A simple, hearty meal is often as satisfying as an elaborate one. More important than the dishes we prepare is the connection we make with the people we serve. And more important than a perfectly styled home is one that is full of love.
4. SURROUND YOURSELF WITH REMINDERS TO BE GRATEFUL.
I loved the “thankful tree” project that Ann Voskamp wrote about. On her blog, you can find leaf templates that are printed with a variety of verses about thanksgiving. I printed them onto cardstock, cut them out and hung them onto branches with fishing line. There are enough leaves to hang one on each day of the month; a great Thanksgiving project for the whole family! DIY chalkboards are another way to display inspirational sayings while creating a bold statement in any room. Look for large framed paintings or mirrors at thrift stores and spray several coats of chalkboard paint over the art or onto the glass to make your own!
Ruby is a farmer’s wife and mommy of two. When she isn’t chasing her mischievous toddler or having tea parties with her little lady, you can often find her creating decor for her home or artwork for her business, Diamond Designs. Ruby loves a good book {with a cup of tea} and capturing moments of beauty with her camera. Though she loves to travel, home is her favorite place to be and she is passionate about making it a beautiful one. Ruby blogs about homemaking and life at rubyshowalter.blogspot.com. -43-
SQUARE: think outside the box Hot Chocolate Add-Ins and Toppings
by Brittany Shult | Photo by Carmie Sanchez
1. One teaspoon seedless raspberry jam 2. 1-2 teaspoons maple syrup 3. Chocolate covered marshmallows 4. Whipped cream and cookie crumbs 5. 1 tablespoon caramel sauce
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by Brittany Shult | Photo by Lorida Burkholder
do-it-yourself
Christmas Gift Wrap BEAUTIFULLY WRAPPED
Christmas gifts are so much fun to give and receive. Oftentimes, however, wrapping paper and ribbon can be expensive to purchase. There are many creative and simple ideas that can be used to wrap gifts using items found in your home. No more rushing into crowded stores for last minute gift wrap!
INSTEAD OF TRADITIONAL BOWS, use scraps of lace,
yarn, rick-rack, or even baling twine. Incorporate pinecones, sprigs of holly or pine, old Christmas ornaments, pom-poms or dried flowers. You won’t even miss the big bow!
INSTEAD OF WRAPPING PAPER, use newspapers
(the comics section makes for fun gift wrap), brown paper bags, old maps, or a section of fabric.
QUICKY GIFT WRAP #1: Take a section of wax paper
and sprinkle any kind of dried herbs or spices across it. Be sure that there aren’t any herbs on the edges of the paper, that way the edges will seal properly when ironed. Take another section of wax paper and lay it on top of the first, being careful that the edges are lined up together. Use a warm iron and iron over the top of the wax paper. The wax will melt and cause the paper to cling together. Because of the herbs there will be some bubbles where the paper doesn’t completely stick together.
QUICKY GIFT WRAP #2: Take a brown paper bag
(or brown craft paper) and carefully pull apart the seams until you have a flat piece of paper. Use a clean pencil eraser stamped on an ink pad and make random polka dots on the paper. Have fun using your imagination to spruce up your holiday gift wrapping this year!
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SPICE UP YOUR WINTER WARDROBE There is no need to dress drably during the cold winter months. It is also unnecessary to reject your summerwear and purchase a brand new winter wardrobe. Consider these tips for staying warm + stylish + frugal this winter season!
GET CRAFTY: I am a strong believer in making things by hand, and in using what is readily available to make an item rather than rushing out to buy it new. The options for handmade attire and accessories are almost endless, and one has much more control over how well the end product fits and costs. Winter is my time to catch up on needlework projects, especially crocheting; an activity I find relaxing and productive. I love to wear beanies, so I make my own; they are warm, classy, and can be crocheted in just a few hours. Fingerless mittens also have a place in my winter wardrobe, but again, instead of buying them new, I make my own. Boot cuffs or leg warmers are a great accent to a favorite pair of boots, while serving the practical purpose f keeping the legs toasty warm. Make a pair in a flash by cutting off the sleeves of an old sweater, folding the wrist ends down, and adding a few buttons to accent. Search online for easy crochet/ knitting patterns for mittens, beanies, and scarves. There are tons of helpful tutorials to get your started. -46-
CHOOSE QUALITY OVER QUANTITY: It can be tempting to rush out and mop up on all the holiday discounts. However, resist the urge. Just because something is on sale, or available at a bargain, doesn’t mean it needs to end up in your cart. Shop for longevity, not just visual appeal. Take your time and shop around for clothing and shoes/boots that are both durable and costeffective. Check tags for fabric info. Leather, cashmere, wool, pure cotton, and denim are all excellent options. Often, because of their great durability, they can be bought secondhand and still in fabulous shape. Cashmere is an especially nice option during the winter months. This fabric is light weight, but extremely warm, and is versatile enough to be worn for both informal and formal occasions.
LAYER UP! One of the things I love about cool weather is the opportunity to play with new textures, patterns, and colors in my attire. Staying warm in winter doesn’t limit us to chunky parkas and thick wool stockings. Get creative {with what you already own!}. Create a cozy outfit by layering: Pair a ruffled tank top or long-sleeved shirt with a wool cardigan. Slip into an elegant silk shirt and add a leather jacket. Wear a simple cotton skirt over a longer lace skirt to add warmth while also staying classy. For less dressy occasions, pair flannel with jean. Throw on a vest. The key is to experiment. Use what you have and then layer it together into a tasteful, cozy outfit. You may be amazed at the combinations possible with the clothing already hanging in your closet. Content and photos by Rae Schrock
MAKE BOLD-COLOR STATEMENTS: Seasons invariably impact the way we dress. Winter may seem to call for neutrel tones like tan, white, gray, and black, but don’t confine yourself to only these. Add some bright pops of color to your winter wardrobe by pairing bold hues together: purple and lime green, kelly green and black, mustard and blue. Again, the options are endless. Sometimes the colors we feel certain would never go together, actually compliment quite nicely. Experiment! Maybe do a little research on the fascinating science of colorblocking. Mostly, just be creative with what you have! Your closetful of summerwear can work just as swimmingly in this winter climate if its paired properly.
GIVE IT THE CHOP: The goal of this little section is to inspire creativity and frugality in freshening up one’s winterwear. One of the best ways to do this is by practicing contentment, and a great way to get there is by intentionally purging your closet. I know it sounds counterintuitive. We may already feel bored with what we have; how could getting rid of clothes bring a fresh flair to our wardrobe? I stand by the theory that the more options a person has, the less appealing those options are. The more of something we have, the less valued and necessary the individual items become. Excess creates boredom. This winter, instead of adding to your stash, try getting rid of a few things. What haven’t you worn in the last 6 months? What do you have multiples of, but really don’t need? Trimming down to the items we actually love for their fit, comfort, and practicality leads us to appreciate our wardrobe more as a whole. Rather than being overwhelmed with too many average options, we can focus on a few of great quality. Pure your closet. Go on, I dare you!
ACCESSORIZE: Add some flair to your winter outfits by accessorizing. Scarves are not only pretty but add an important layer of warmth to the neck and upper chest. Give your outfit an extra dose of femininity by learning some clever ways to tie the scarf, rather than simply slinging it around your neck like a noose. Belts provide an attractive way to draw together multiple layers and add that extra bit of cohesion to an outfit. Bring a pop of color with a handmade flower pinned to your sweater. Crochet your own fingerless mittens. A few simple sccessories keep outfits fresh and fun. Add them to create an entirely new look to those “same old clothes” you are tempted to ditch for new ones.
EMBRACE THE LEGGINGS: I grew up with a bitter abhorence for all things “tights”. To me they represented ghastly white sheaths of ugliness that itched and got unbearably hot during those long church Christmas caroling sessions. However, with age comes ingenuity, and I have actually learned to love the twin sister of tights: leggings. They serve the practical purpose of keeping legs warm duuring long, boisterous romps in the snow (etc), and can also double as super cute extensions of one’s outfit. I have a fantastic collection of leggings (see photo for a sampling), being a lover of all things colorful and cozy. While still not a huge fan of tights (aka, the kind with feet), I found a great way to redeem them. I cut mine off to a desired length and hemmed the edges using a simple zigzag stitch. Voila! Leggings are also a great way to add length and warmth to the sundresses or shorter skirts we might otherwise avoid all winter. Pair leggings with some (handmade!) leg warmers or boot cuffs, and a pair of boots, and you’re stylishly, modestly, warmly good to go!
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featured blogger
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featured blog post
ON IDENTITY AND MEETING JESUS OUTSIDE MY BURROW HOLE used to think that my personality would somehow magically change when I got married, that I would have a new air of confidence, that I’d be that cool newlywed at whom all the young teenage girls stared googly-eyed (like I used to do), that I’d be that hostess who’d give those guests hugs and I’d know how to tell them with perfect graciousness to fill the water glasses or fluff up the salad, and then we’d all laugh merrily and they’d stay till all the taper-candles smoked and dripped their last wax-tears somewhere down close to the tablecloth, and they’d leave and wouldn’t even feel like they had to offer to wash all those pretty dishes. I used to think that maybe, just maybe, I would slowly find myself recharged, not drained, by being with people. Instead, I fairy-taled my way into my new world, and after all the confetti had floated away, I discovered there were no magic buttons to push after all, and I was still that person. That person who confuses you because you don’t know if I’m snobby or just shy. That person who you think you should take out for coffee but you invite somebody else too, because you think it’ll be awkward with just you and me. I’m that boring person who wants to go to bed early, and you’ll roll your eyes because you don’t understand that I used up all my energy sharing food and a movie with you and laughing at the appropriate places in your constant bantering with the other outgoing people (I did try to insert my little comments here and there), and I’m sorry, but now I require a little alone-time. I’m that person who loves having a baby to jiggle on her hips because when we’re talking and we run out of things to say, having something to coo at and play with is a mighty fine solution. (Okay, and I do SO love babies too.) I used to pray that God would make me more outgoing. I used to pray all the wrong things, and then I got tired fretting over my personality, and I stopped. I started praying that Jesus would make me more like Himself. In the past few months, I’ve known change and weakness and inadequacy like I’ve never known them before. A new role, a new home, a new city, a new State, and a new church. Sydney’s narrow roads are enough to frighten anyone, and I suddenly had to brave them. New friends meant raw encounters with their pasts and
deep hurts, and I could only murmur Oh Jesus. Other friends pumped us full of cheer after a weary week, and other friends rang our doorbell or phone every other night and we learned to giggle and say Come For Dinner instead of grumbling about the fact that nobody should do that to newlyweds. Living with my closest friend day-in and day-out means making my heart vulnerable, and I thank God it’s a safe place for me to learn that art. Still other friends misunderstood and sent ugly texts and suddenly I was an adult and had to fix it by myself instead of running away, and other friends called for advice on homeschooling or baby C’s gluten-intolerance and spilled family issues that were just TMI and I was wiping my forehead, alternately whispering “Me?” and “What Would Mama Do?” A new church brought a whole meaning to prayer and lots of it, and I found my walls crumbling in the constant whisperings to Father. “She has changed like crazy!” someone whispered to my sister the other day. She, in turn, whispered it to me, and I sorta stared into the distance, acting like I knew just what she was talking about, but really I was shocked and just utterly grateful in realising that Jesus’ work had crept up on me, and suddenly, here I am, and I’m still that same person but yet I’m not anymore. I’m still an introvert. But I think I laugh a little easier these days and know a bit more how to pass on grace by making your favourite hot tea and talking about what delights you. At a friend’s wedding recently, I was still overwhelmed by the feeling of people at my elbow no matter where I turned, and the dancing, the loud music, and the people shouting to be heard over it. (I might have asked my husband to hold my hand and keep me with him all evening.) But, I also smiled incredulously to myself the other evening when we were discussing date-night options and I asked if we could go somewhere where there were lots of people, because I wanted to feel alive. That’s a first. I suppose I’ll always need my times of hibernation, but I’m slowly learning to get my focus off of that and on to Jesus. He’s made me awkwardly uncomfortable and grated me down to the core until sometimes there is no Me and only Him, and only then can I see His allsufficiency and know where I am truly defined. I’m still an introvert, but I’m being hurled head-first into the grace of Jesus, and that, I suppose, is all that really matters. |
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by Samantha Trenkamp Photography by Carmie Sanchez
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HOSTING GROUP STUDIES {part 2}
FEEL LED TO START A SMALL GROUP STUDY, BUT NOT SURE WHERE TO BEGIN? SAMANTHA HAS BEEN THERE TOO. HERE, SHE OFFERS PART II IN A SHORT SERIES OF PRACTICAL SUGGESTIONS FOR BLESSING OTHER WOMEN THROUGH MEANINGFUL GROUP STUDIES.
ello! So glad you’re here! Pour yourself some tea (or other such hot beverage) and grab a seat. Since you’re reading part two of “hosting a study group” I’ll assume that you are now intrigued by the idea; maybe even prayerfully considering hosting your own. There are others far more experienced than I, but I will share with you what has worked well in group studies I have led. Every year brings new lessons on how things could have been done differently or more efficiently, as well as what has worked very well. For starters, when thinking about doing any kind of group study or project, the first thing to be considered is what age group you hope to target; who your audience will be. Maybe you are gifted in relating to teens, maybe you do better with young girls, or maybe you are a wife and mother who would like to offer some encouragement to your fellow comrades. So before you do anything, pray and find out who it is that the Lord would have you to minister to at this time; staying open to whatever He lays on your heart. Once you have an idea of who you hope to bless and reach out to, it’s time to get a topic in mind. You need to know what is appropriate for your audience so as to be the most effective and applicable to each one. You probably wouldn’t want to take 12-14yr. old girls through something as intense as what we did for our first group study: a counseling series that covered everything from emotional wounds to sexual abuse. A great way to help you decide is to pass out index
cards to the girls/women you will be teaching, with pre-written questions like“What have you been studying about in Scripture lately?” “What have you been struggling with recently?” “In what areas has the Lord been asking you to grow or has been stretching you?” Look for consistencies among their answers and go from there. If teaching a younger group of girls, going through your old journals could help you gain a better idea of what kind of struggles they may be facing. If you don’t have a specific topic already, keep a radar up for what you’ve been hearing other ladies talk about and recommending to each other. I spent some time browsing around Amazon this past month researching different authors, being careful to not go in for something “hook, line and sinker” just because it may be on the New York Times Best Seller list and have a huge following of admirers. Do your research! Always preview anything you plan to use, whether book study, videos series, etc. Here are a few recommendations for good material: One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. This study can be done with just the book, but we used the videos as well and thoroughly enjoyed it. Caring for the Emotionally Damaged Heart (to be used with videos) by John Regier.
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hosting group studies IS ONE OF MANY WAYS TO REACH OUT TO YOUR SISTERS IN CHRIST,
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A Woman’s Heart: God’s Dwelling Place, by Beth Moore. On the whole I would recommend Mrs. Moore’s books, though they have a bit more book work and may be difficult for some to keep up with. Some also come with videos. There are several books by Jennie Allen that look excellent. Though I have not used them yet, they seem rich and substantial and I plan on trying them in the future.
after the group study to split up into smaller prayer groups. Each would have no more than four people (so as to keep it more intimate), the groups were different every meeting, and the leader of each prayer group would have a list of relevant questions for discussion and prayer. At times we enjoyed these moments of being together almost more than the study itself! It helped us to really understand one another better and be real with our fellow sisters.
Again, I will say to stay open to the Spirit. I had found a book that I wanted to use for our next session, but felt the Lord nudging me to something else. So once you get some ideas together, pray and maybe get a second opinion before making any investments.
And speaking of prayer, I’d like to us this space to encourage you as the teacher to spend alot of time in prayer - for the study, for your students, and for yourself as well. Your class will only go as well as you yourself have prepared for it, and your students will only gain from you what you have invested as well. Don’t get so busy that you neglect this most vital part of having an effective study time. It is meaningful to pray as a group before beginning the class as well.
Now that you have targeted your age group and have a topic in place, it’s time to get down to the nitty gritty practicalities of organizing it all! There are important details to consider, such as deciding where you will host your meetings (at home, rotating between houses, at church, etc.) and collaborating with the ladies to work out schedules (always difficult! ). We found it worked well for our group to meet every other Monday evening. But, perhaps your clan would do better in the morning or afternoon, or even weekends. Don’t get discouraged by schedule
Our last study took about three months to finish, and our first one took six months. When you’ve invested that much time into something, it’s nice to have some closure when it’s finished, so we plan a final “huzzah” for our last session! Again, get creative! You could pull an all-nighter and do a pajama party, host a special tea, plan a girl’s campout under the stars, etc. Last year we planned a movie night and watched “Fiddler on the Roof”. The movie was about Russian Jews so we hosted a traditional Shabbat meal, having different people bring different aspects of the meal and everyone had to dress the part. I prepared some questions in relation to our topic and had a final discussion around the table. Make it as serious or silly as you want, but the point is to make it memorable!
rest assured THAT YOU WILL
AND NEVER REGRET IT!
conflicts - be flexible! One thing my group found helpful with hosting was to delegate out tasks. Since I was leading the study, and my co-leader was hosting the meetings in her home, we divided up the evening snack responsibilities between the other girls. It took some of the work off of us and helped the girls to be more involved. Hosting! This is where you can get creative! Give special care to setting a positive mood and creating an inviting atmosphere. Try to create a safe space where open discussion is encouraged and respected. Bring out the bean bags, pillows, soft lighting and hot drinks. This is a place for just the women to indulge in that sweet fellowship that comes from sharing our hearts and lives with each other, so try to create the ambiance that encourages a sense of camaraderie and freedom to be honest with one another. Maybe have quiet music playing when people walk in, or light a fire on the hearth, pop some popcorn if you are using a video series. Or you could kick off your first get together with a good object lesson or team development activity related to your topic. The possibilities are endless! Another practice used in our study group, and one that has been a huge blessing, is to take some time
As a side note, maybe you would like to do something for your sisters, but cannot feasibly invest in a longterm project. Never fear, there is a Plan B! A young woman I know takes the same idea and condenses it into a weekend. She invites her group to go camping (usually renting a cabin) and spends the whole weekend just being with them and doing things that make the time memorable. In the afternoon and evening she shares with the girls on whatever topic the Lord has laid on her heart for that year. Over the course of the weekend, they end up having about four to six lessons. In between these once a year camping trips, she finds time every so many months to host a luncheon and present prizes to the girls upon them having completed Scripture memory that she has had them working on. This is just one of many ways to reach out to your sisters in Christ, and rest assured that you will never regret it! May God bless you as you make an impact in your community! Grace and peace to you Sisters. |
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street, playing football, riding bikes. They’re used to playing away until somebody yells, “Car!” and then they all run to the side and wait. “It’s such a different culture. I grew up on a farm and was raised to work and live off the land. You walk down the street here and nobody’s working; they’re all sitting out on their porches. We took the kids to a farm on a field trip; a lot of them didn’t know where milk came from.“
TRENCHES IT IS 7:25 A.M. Marlea Kauffman
steps onto the porch of the brick row house where she lives, ready to head across the street to Tidings of Peace Christian School. This time of day, the streets are emptier than usual--fewer smells, fewer sounds. A white lady in tight snakeskin leggings and hoop earrings passes her on the sidewalk, while across the street a young black man walks with the wide stride necessary to keep his baggy pants from sliding down, one hand holding an edge of them, ear buds dangling from his ears. Today is trash pick-up day, and an old man with a scraggly ponytail rides up on a bicycle with a kid cart pulled behind, heaped with old bits of metal and wire. He stops in front of the recycle bin, props up his bike, and stoops over the bin, looking. Marlea crosses the street and walks up the two cement steps and through the blue door of the long, low brick building that is the school. A square white sign above the door reads “TOP Christian School.” Staff prayer starts at 7:30. At 8:00, the doors officially open, and with them the noise of children arriving, the thud of a basketball, the squeak of tennis shoes on gym floor, laughter, good mornings. Marlea is in her kindergarten classroom, making last minute preparations before the bell rings at 8:15, when round-faced Valerie arrives and stands just inside the door, waiting for a hug. Jeremy bounds in after her, full of excitement and chatter. Valerie and Jeremy are her only kindergartners this year, making this third year of teaching at TOP the easiest she’s had. York, Pennsylvania, population 400,000 and growing, is a far cry from the quiet farm ountry where Marlea grew up. She grew up throwing bales and milking cows, a self-sufficient-and-54-
proud-of-it country girl who never envisioned herself living in the city. That changed in July of 2012 when Clayton Shenk, principal and administrator at TOP, called and asked if she would consent to teach. “Of all the places I’ve gone, this is the place I most felt God’s leading,” Marlea says. “I was working at home, knowing I needed to go do something, knowing just having a day job wasn’t what I would do the rest of my life. Then I got the call to come here, and I fought it. I didn’t like the city, but I remember finally just knowing I had to leave my job back home and knowing I had to come to the city. “Everything was so new, and getting used to the different culture really stressed me out. I was paranoid of street life, and I walked everywhere I went because I was scared to drive in traffic. I was petrified to walk my kids down the back alley and across the street to the playground. I would make them all hold onto a rope, which was a big joke. They felt like they were tied to it. They were born and raised in the
Another thing I had to overcome was the issue of cleanliness. You kind of have to overlook the stinky child--although we’re allowed to send a note home if it’s a regular thing. I had to realize you have to love these children. They can’t help if they don’t have their laundry done at home, or no one to help them brush their teeth. We’ve often had lice and bed bugs carried to school, and do lice checks regularly--but God is in control of that, too, and I haven’t gotten lice yet, even when my student had them. “Teaching here, I’ve learned a whole new dimension of the word love--loving the unlovable and realizing the deeper need of their soul. Even if they don’t learn how to work, don’t learn their math, what are they?” This is the purpose of Tidings of Peace Christian School, to reach into homes and lives with the love of Jesus. The school was started in 1994 by Clayton Shenk and the Tidings of Peace Mennonite Church which
he pastors. Inspired by an innercity Christian school in Reading, Pennsylvania, the congregation told the Lord that if they had one committed teacher, three students, and $5000 in the bank by July 1st, they would start a school. When July 1st came and they had none of those things, they decided “not this year.” But on July 3rd, the owner of a building right down the street from the church called Brother Clayton and offered to let him have the building for the price of the closing costs, since he wanted to get it off his hands before winter. And so Tidings of Peace Christian School began. That first year there were five students. Today, twenty years later, there are forty-two students in grades kindergarten through twelfth. Maxed to capacity, with the seventh and eighth graders doing their classes in the nearby church building, they are in need of a larger building so they can expand. At TOP, parents have the option of paying full tuition, paying partial tuition with a sponsorship, or giving $30 and ten hours of community service a month. The school is able to operate because of volunteer teachers, with donations, sponsorships, and fundraisers covering expenses. Parents say they choose TOP because they want their children in a Christian school learning about God, or because their children were being bullied and pushed around in another school. At TOP, the children are treated with love and respect.
TOP’s motto is, “Respect God, respect others, respect yourself.” Respect doesn’t always come easily. The first year Marlea taught, she spent hours with one troubled little boy. Because of his home situation, he came to school with his homework undone, refused to obey his teacher, broke pencils, and fell on the floor in defiance. That situation, along with adjusting to the new culture, made her first year difficult. The little boy eventually improved his behavior, but sadly, his family moved away after he’d attended only half Marlea continues to grow in understanding her students. “I remember I was frustrated with a girl who would never pay attention,” she told me, “and Brother Clayton made the comment, ‘What’s most important, for you to teach her the schoolwork or for you to show her love?“ He said there could be other things in her life making it hard for her to concentrate, and the longer I’m here, the more I realize he was right. You see evilness here that you don’t see in the country. You walk out on the street and see the moms and dads yelling at their kids, and “Just down the street from us there’s a lesbian couple who always have a lot of kids around their house, and they’re always noisy with yelling and drunkenness. The cops were out there just the other night to settle an argument between the two ladies. And down the street is a gay couple who adopted children-so sad. Where I grew up, the neighbors were married, one man, one woman, and this gay/lesbian talk was just what you hear about. “At school, the whole thing
of ‘What would Jesus do?’ comes up a lot. They don’t understand why they need to do right, and we are trying to help them understand and live a more peaceable life. It’s so fun to teach them the Bible stories. Things that seem basic to us, that we’ve heard all our lives, they just soak up. To them it’s all new. “With discipline, I learned you have to focus on the positive. They might get verbal abuse at home, and scolding them doesn’t have much effect. But words of affirmation really make them beam. I’ve learned you should look for the good in what they do and give twice as many positives as you do negatives.” School ends at 3:00 p.m. Since her class this year is smaller and easier to handle than those of the other teachers’, Marlea helps with a multitude of after-school jobs: grading students’ work, mopping the gym floor, cleaning bathrooms and drinking fountains, fumigating for bugs, cooking, babysitting. After-school streets are crowded and noisy. If she walks down the street a ways, Marlea might see kids walking home from school or kids riding bikes, scooters, and ripsticks. There will be pedestrians of all shapes and skin colors. Neighbors lounging on their porches, playing with iphones or some other electronic gadget. She might smell cigarette smoke. Body odor. Beer on someone’s breath. On hot days, the smell of garbage from the bins. She might hear a siren passing in the distance, or the ding-ding of the snowcone truck. Rap music blaring from a passing car. A horn honking. This is the city. “Now when I’m out playing with the kids,” Marlea says, “I don’t let every person on the street bother me. Most of them know us and are friendly when they see the whole line of kids go walking by. I get worried sometimes, and we’re supposed to have phones on us all the time, but I’m not petrified anymore. “I became a real Yorker when I started collecting pennies from the sidewalk. I found a dime one day. That was a really good day, the best day ever.”
Photo
i Miller Kauffman by Luc arlea ed by M s provid
It’s school as usual in York, Pennsylvania. If you would like to learn more about TOP, visit their website at www.tidingsofpeace. org.
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THE SIMPLE JOY OF GIVING by Brittany Shult Photo by Carmie Sanchez The holiday season is here! Store windows sparkle with gorgeous ornaments and lights, tables are groaning under the weight of Thanksgiving and Christmas repasts, the scents of cinnamon and peppermint permeate many kitchens as holiday baking commences. For many of us, it truly is the most wonderful time of the year! But perhaps we get too caught up in the fleeting moments of roast turkey and shiny wrapping paper. Yes, the holiday season is cause for celebration and familiar traditions, but maybe there’s more. Or maybe
“You
HAVE NOT LIVED
there’s not enough. As cliché as it sounds, perhaps we’ve lost the real meaning of the season. Maybe we should focus less on the glitter and more on the gritty. Giving beautiful gifts and baking luscious treats and listening to Christmas music is all well and good. Those are wonderful things to do with family and friends, but perhaps we could do with fewer gifts and more of quality time spent helping others. Maybe we can add new holiday traditions to our celebrations that benefit somebody else. This is not to make you feel guilty about what you do with your holiday traditions. Let’s remember, however, that Someone gave up His only Son in order to give us a chance. Perhaps there is something that we can give up this holiday season in order to give someone else a chance. Sometimes there is more joy in the grit then there is in the glitter. Here are some practical ways to give this holiday season.
1. JOIN OPERATION CHRISTMAS CHILD. This is
a ministry of Samaritan’s Purse. Samaritan’s Purse is a nondenominational evangelical Christian organization providing spiritual
today until you have done something for someone
WHO CAN NEVER REPAY YOU.” -56-
-John Bunyan
and physical aid to hurting people around the world. Since 1970, Samaritan’s Purse has helped meet needs of people who are victimS of war, poverty, natural Son, Jesus Christ. (www.samaritanspurse. com) Through Operation Christmas Child, shoeboxes are filled with various toys, school and hygiene items, and accessories such as t-shirts, socks, hats, sunglasses, etc. These boxes are then distributed to children overseas. You can also include a personal note and picture of you and your family. This ministry is a wonderful way to help children get involved with the spirit of giving.
2.GIVE THROUGH CHRISTIAN AID MINISTRIES. Christian Aid Ministries has several options for ways to give back. Go to www.christianaidministries.org and click on “Projects You Can Do”. Some options include hygiene kits, school and teacher kits, and layette bundles. These get distributed to Haiti, Romania, Nicaragua, Liberia, and many other countries. Putting these kits together is another way to involve families and children.
3. BLESS MISSIONARY FRIENDS. Most of us know
families or singles who are serving the Lord somewhere. Many times they are not able
to be home for the holidays. Send a card or a box of goodies. Think of items that may not be readily available in their particular country and consider putting those in a box. Even something small will mean a lot! (NOTE: Do not send money or expensive items such as cameras, ipods, etc.)
4. SEEK OUT LOCAL MINISTRIES. There are
so many things that you can do locally. Consider volunteering at the local pregnancy support center or soup kitchen. Sometimes these ministries have special activities going on during the holiday season and often they could use extra help. Check out the community nursing home. Many times there are elderly people who don’t have family coming to visit regularly. Adopt an extra grandma or grandpa. Find ways to bring some holiday cheer to their lives.
5. PROMOTE COMMUNITY FELLOWSHIP.
Work together with your church and put together a community Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner complete with all the fixins’. Go out into the highways and byways to invite people to come. Perhaps it could even become an annual tradition.
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enjoying the
WINTER
OUTDOORS THE TEAM RECOMMENDS
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MARLENE BRITTANY Our area of Virginia is not known for its snowy winters, but one activity that I have enjoyed in the past is sledding. There is something about bundling up and joining a crowd of friends on the top of a tall hill for an exhilarating time of fun. Sometimes we have taken our plastic cattle trough out of its metal frame and piled a row of people in it in lieu of a toboggan. That usually results in a pile of people spilling out once we reach the bottom! Then it’s up to the top of the hill again for round two or three or four!
RAE I grew up in southern TN, where snow is a rare and delightful treat. Now I live in southern VA and the forecast is about the same. Wintertime can get long and morose, but I enjoy finding ways to experience its unique beauty. Several Decembers ago, my brothers and I went camping with some friends. It was frigid, and one of their pups pooped in the tent during the night, but we made some amazing memories huddled around the campfire swapping stories and sipping cheap hot chocolate. When it snows, I love loading into the back of a 4x4 truck and exploring snowy back roads, seeing how close we can get to completely stuck. A family tradition is to make snowcream (milk, sugar, and fresh snow). It is also great fun to gather a group of friends for a starlight hayride through neighboring fields, or around the community to visit people.
It’s become something of a tradition for my husband and I to plan a winter walk after dark in the snow. The group varies from year to year but the ingredients stay the same: a Coleman lantern, snow (often knee deep), a moon, and lots of warm winter clothing. It can be quite a workout in knee deep snow, so plan to have hot drinks and a substantive snack afterward! But there’s nothing quite so magical and surreal as the exertion in crisp air accompanied by moonlight and lamplight. It’s something completely different than the everyday modern experience; perhaps that’s why we continue it, year after year.
SAMANTHA When we actually get snow, my brothers and I enjoy trailing the animal tracks “over the river and through the woods”. You have to go sledding of course, but it’s much better when you have an obstacle course and a nice ramp to launch off of! Then there is the ever necessary building of a Calvin and Hobbs type snowman, and the “hunt for the biggest icicle”, aka, nature’s lollipop!
CARMIE Do you or a neighbor have a good sledding hill? Invite your friends and family over and have an old-fashioned sledding party. Be sure to serve hot chocolate and cookies afterwards, or if you’re really energetic make homemade donuts to share with everyone. If you have your party at night, light a bonfire to help you stay warm.
LUCI Build a snowman standing on its head. Play fox and geese with a group of friends. How to play fox and geese: Tramp paths through the snow in the shape of a wagon wheel with spokes. Stamp out a four foot circle in the center of the wheel to use as home (a safe zone.) One person is fox and tries to catch the others, the geese. The geese can take refuge in the home circle, but are not permitted to linger more than a minute or two. When the fox catches a goose, roles are reversed, with the goose becoming the new fox and the fox becoming a goose. Or have all the tagged geese become foxes and help to catch the other geese. Last goose left wins. Or have two foxes and use the center circle as a prison instead of a safe zone, from which tagged geese try to escape. When the foxes have successfully corralled all the geese, the game is over. Catch falling snowflakes with a piece of black construction paper and study their unique designs. Open your mouth snowflakes fall in.
and
let
Make “tire tracks” in the snow by walking with your feet angled. Make “dino prints” in the snow with your hands.
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WHITE SPACES
Treasures by Marlene Stoltzfus Photography by Kristi Smucker
been thinking lately about legacies and treasures, especially treasured items passed down from generation to generation. I’ve thought about how society has changed in the last two hundred years, when more people were poor and spent their lives in hard work with few possessions. What they did have was heavily focused on meeting necessities and was made through a longer process than today. These items were either self-made, without many of today’s tool and power options, or purchased through a longer process of hard work and saving pennies than it would take you and I. This backdrop of few and crude belongings made the -60-
exceptions stand out starkly. If one owned or received a treasured item, it was precious because it was rare. Perhaps also, if one was part of a good family, the absence of many belongings made deeper the awareness of the richness found in legacy, tradition, and relationships. There are two children’s books which make me think about such things: Something from Nothing by Phoebe Gilman and The Blessing Cup by Patricia Polacco. Both tell stories of strong, intergenerational families who are poor in possessions but rich in relationships. They both talk about treasured items which the child of the story values highly. The items are very different,
however. In Gilman’s book, it is a small blanket; for Polacco, it is a fine and expensive tea set. The child in each story draws a sense of security from the use of the treasured item in the rhythms of daily life. Joseph loves his blanket and brings it to his grandfather, its maker, to find new uses for it as it becomes more and more worn. Anna’s family uses the tea set, her parent’s wedding gift, as Shabbot begins. The treasures are placeholders, so to speak; representations of other securities in the children’s lives. Over time, however, the treasured items are lost or altered. Joseph’s blanket becomes so small that his grandfather finally uses it to cover a button for Joseph. And one day, even the button is lost. Anna’s family is subject to the Russian pogroms and has to flee with what they can carry. Eventually, they leave most of the tea set as a gift for the kind Gentile doctor who arranges their passage to America. So what makes a treasured item and why is it highly valued (apart from monetary worth)? It seems to me that, first, treasures are items of quality. Interestingly, we are richer and more materialistic than in times past. At the same time, we have easy access to mounds of mass produced goods that are not designed to last long. The result is a likelihood to possess a lot, but in a proliferation of low- to midgrade quality. This stands in contrast to the families of Polacco’s and Gilman’s books, who have little but still own an item or two of beauty and quality. If a treasured item is one of quality, it will then be expensive. It will cost something. This is not the lampshade project that you hot glued together one afternoon and discovered that the blogger was right: it did take only twenty minutes! It did cost basically nothing! No, treasured items require patience, time, and care. If you are the maker of it, you’ll reckon with that cost. If you are the buyer of it, you’ll reckon with the cost its creation required of someone else. After the hurdle of ownership, treasures wend their way, in some form or other, into use. This was the portion in the children’s books that took me by surprise. I thought about how differently Joseph and Anna would have felt toward the treasures if the items had been off limits. A blanket is one thing, but the wedding tea set quite another. I imagined my tendency, if I were the mother in the story, to keep that rich and rare gift under wraps---literally. Wrap it in blankets and keep it shrouded in a storage chest. Never fully enjoy it because I so feared losing it and never let my children enjoy it because they would be the most likely means of losing (i.e., breaking) it. I was struck by how the tea set was a source of wonder, beauty, and tradition for Anna because she was allowed careful and limited but consistent access to it. It had become woven into the fabric and story of her life. And I wondered if it was this free and generous attitude toward the tea set’s use that enabled her mother to leave it behind in Europe as a
gift to a Gentile. For the true treasure does not reside exclusively in the item. The item is representative of deeper parts of legacies and tradition: character, experience, wisdom, faith, and hope. Since we are physical creatures, the material items help to keep the immaterial realities within our awareness. Yet the immaterial realities certainly exist apart from the item. I always think about the nation of Israel in this regard. God seemed particularly interested in giving the Israelites physical objects as reminders of spiritual realities. Sometimes the items were chosen in the moment to represent what had just occurred, like the stack of rocks after crossing the Jordan. Others, in contrast, took patience, time, and expense to construct and had a dictated role in the community. (The tabernacle and its contents are the most significant examples.) As a result, over time those constructed items were with the Israelites through many stages and places. They were entrenched with history, stories, and the physical and spiritual journey of the nation beyond the span of individual lives. They were treasures. What treasures are in your family? What items and legacies have you received from the generations before you? (And just a note: sometimes it’s hard to receive someone else’s treasured item and truly appreciate it. It’s important to find access to the story and legacy behind the item itself, a way to understand why that awkward stool or ill-designed quilt was so significant to someone.) What treasures do you as an individual have? What items have cost you something---in time, money, or experience? What are your stories and lessons, from which have grown your wisdom and character, which those items represent; and how will you communicate them to others? I’m going to give thought to these questions this holiday season. Family gatherings will be a good opportunity to listen for and seek out the stories and symbols of legacies. Patricia Palacco, who happens to be Anna’s great-granddaughter, writes at the end of The Blessing Cup, “How rich I am indeed.” Like her, I expect to discover that I am richer than I know.
WHAT TREASURES ARE IN YOUR FAMILY? WHAT ITEMS AND LEGACIES HAVE YOU RECEIVED FROM THE GENERATIONS BEFORE YOU? -61-
“How rich I Patricia Palacco,
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I am indeed. � The Blessing Cup
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A LEAF FROM THE TREE OF SONGS By Adam Christianson
When harpers once in wooden hall A shining chord would strike
Their songs like arrows pierced the soul Of great and low alike.
Aglow by hearth and candleflame From burning branch of ember The mist of all their music sang As if to ask in wonder, Is there a moment quite as keen Or memory as bright
As light and fire and music sweet To warm the winter’s night?
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