Rockland Parent August 2018

Rockland Parent NYMETROPARENTS.COM PARENTS.COM AUGUST 2018

Get Set for

SCHOOL! • Weighing Your Educational Options • Create a Homework Hot Spot • ACT or SAT? • Easy Ways to Find Scholarships

How to Talk to a Baby HELPING PARENTS MAKE BETTER DECISIONS

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contents table of

august 2018

12 25

A Blended Family

How reluctantly raising my son in two homes turned out to be a blessing in disguise

Family Activities Calendar

Find something to do with your kids every day this month, from fairs and farmers’ markets to movies and crafts

back-to-school 16 Choices, Choices, Choices

38

18 Create a Homework Hot Spot 20 After-School Classes & Programs

Cash for College

Ten ways to find scholarships, grants, and financial aid online

raising kids

things to do

family life

6 Editor’s Note 8 New Places, New Programs 10 5 Things to Know About Raising an Entrepreneur 12 A Blended Family 34 The Different Ways to Talk to a Baby 36 A Tale of Two Tests 40 Characteristics of Coughs 41 Party Central 42 Meet the Doctor 44 Party Planner 45 Advertisers’ Index 46 Quotables

13 Pom Pom Hand Puppets

38 Cash for College

23 August Activities 25 Family Activities Calendar 32 Family Fun in Manhattan 33 6 Revolutionary War Sites to Visit

NYMetroParents

Helping Parents Make Better Decisions ON THE COVER ›› 16 Weighing Your Educational Options 18 Create a Homework Hot Spot 34 How to Talk to a Baby 36 ACT or SAT? 38 Easy Ways to Find Scholarships facebook.com/nymetroparents

@NYMetroParents Visit NYMETROPARENTS.COM for family activities updated daily and more than 2,000 parenting articles!

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AUGUST 2018 • Vol.11 • No.12

raising kids editor’s note

NYMetroParents nymetroparents.com

EDITORIAL

EDITORIAL DIRECTOR: Deborah Skolnik MANAGING EDITOR: Katelin Walling ASSISTANT EDITORS: Anja Webb, Melissa Wickes

Back to School Before You Know It!

D

on’t hate me for stating the obvious: In just a few short weeks, these lazy, hazy days aren’t going to be so lazy anymore. Though technically it will still be summer, at least for a while, school (or “the S-word” as my daughters like to call it) will be back in session. Maybe you’ll be relieved, glad to no longer have bored children underfoot, demanding to be entertained or bickering with each other. Or perhaps like me you’ll feel as sad as the kids do, mourning the loss of blank-slate days and the endless possibilities that accompany them. It’s also fine to fall somewhere between these two extremes, wistful for all that delicious free time but glad your family will once again settle into a more predictable routine.

If you’re the parent of a child in middle or high school, you know that kids in the upper grades have unique challenges. This month we’re tackling some of the major bigkid educational issues out there, offering guidance to help your year get off to a good start. Katelin Walling’s piece “Choices, Choices, Choices” on p. 16 examines the benefits of different types of schools, from public and parochial to charter and beyond, so you can determine what sort of environment will allow your child to flourish. Of course, your home environment should be geared toward your student’s needs too! “Create a Homework Hot Spot” by Lambeth Hochwald (p. 18) shares easy ways to design a study space that will help your student buckle down and excel.

And speaking of excelling, for parents of teens, the SAT and the ACT both loom large on the radar. Which test is best for your child to take? The expert insights in “A Tale of Two Tests” on p. 36 will assist you in coming up with the right answer. We’ll also help you tackle the exorbitant cost of higher education with “Cash for College” (p. 38).

But don’t worry: We haven’t forgotten those of you with little ones. You’ll definitely want to read Melissa Wickes’ article, “The Different Ways to Talk to a Baby,” on p. 34.

Child development pros share how to boost your little one’s speech development—and the way you may unintentionally be sabotaging it. And don’t miss popular kids’ musician Suzi Shelton’s essay (p. 12) about how raising a child under two roofs gave him a strong foundation.

Wishing you lots of fun as you get in your last licks of summer!

REGIONAL EDITORS: Samantha Beranbom (Rockland); Karen Demeter (Suffolk); Whitney C. Harris (Manhattan, Westchester); Rosalind Muggeridge (Brooklyn); Dorette Saunders (Nassau); Gail Warren (Queens) DIRECTORIES EDITOR: Alice Van Dyke EDITORIAL INTERNS: Alana Coopersmith, Allison Ingrum, Dasha Kofman To Submit Events: nymetroparents.com/submitevents

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raising kids new places, new programs

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The full accreditation designation was granted in April and will last three years. Accreditation by the NAPBC is an elite honor and is only administered to breast health centers that are voluntarily committed to providing the highest level of quality breast care.

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August 2018 | nymetroparents.com

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Courtesy Mark Cuban, Shaan Patel, and Ian McCue

raising kids in the know

5Things to Know About Raising an Entrepreneur

››

By Melissa Wickes

D

oes your son love to sell lemonade on the corner of your street? Is your daughter always making duct-tape wallets and decorating her own jeans? If your child demonstrates an entrepreneurial spirit, you should encourage him to pursue that. Here are five ways you can teach your child to be an entrepreneur, even as a kid, with help from Mark Cuban, owner of the Dallas Mavericks and star of the hit TV show Shark Tank, Shaan Patel, M.D., M.B.A., founder of Prep Expert, an SAT and ACT prep company that was pitched on Shark Tank in 2016, and Ian McCue, a rising senior at UNLV and the founder of Spark Skill, a technology summer camp provider. All three co-authored Kid Start-Up: How You Can Be an Entrepreneur.

Be supportive of your child’s ideas. While everyone’s path is different, the first step to starting a business is to get feedback from as many people as possible before spending any money, according to Dr. Patel. So, if your kid comes up to you with an idea she wants to kickstart, encourage her, give her honest feedback and advice, and make her excited about it! Entrepreneurs often have the fear that someone will ‘steal’ their idea, however chances are, even if someone wanted to ‘steal’ the idea, they won’t put in the time, effort, and passion that your child would. “Ideas are cheap, execution is the hard part,” Cuban says.

Instill perseverance. When running a business, you are very rarely going to do everything right the first time, McCue says.

Unfortunately, school-age kids are often programmed to think you have to. Teaching your child it is okay to fail can make him all the more successful. “You have to be willing to try a bunch of things and accept that only a few will work out. Be persistent,” McCue says. In teaching perseverance, you will also help your child know it may take time to get traction in a business. Dr. Patel suggests committing to an idea for six months to a year before deciding it may not be the best option. He also suggests being aware that 10

August 2018 | nymetroparents.com

From left: Shaan Patel, Mark Cuban, and Ian McCue, co-authors of Kid Start-Up: How You Can Be an Entrepreneur

some businesses are simply seasonal and will not take off until they are ‘in season.’ “I launched Prep Expert in December, but because SAT and ACT prep doesn’t start until around May, it took about five months to get my first customer,” Dr. Patel says.

Teach self-control. This is important because, when starting and running your own business, you regulate your own hours, no one is forcing you to work 9am-5pm at a desk, Dr. Patel says.

By teaching your child self-control, even when she is a toddler being told to only eat one cookie from the jar that is filled, you are increasing the odds that your child will one day have a higher income, better relationships, higher SAT scores, and fewer issues involving drugs and alcohol.

Encourage him to pursue his hobbies. It may seem unlikely that a kid can really be a master in anything. However, kids become infatuated with things they like, learning every facet of a game, a toy, a sport, an accessory trend, without even knowing they’re becoming experts. “My advice to all entrepreneurs is to start a business that you’re an expert in,” Dr. Patel says. “It’s pretty easy to narrow your ideas down to the things that you actually know and are good at. If you pick one of those things, this gives you a leg up.”

Teach her to be a problem-solver. In a world where so many ideas have been thought of and so many inventions have been created, one might ask, where do you even begin brainstorming creative ideas? The co-authors of Kid Start-Up suggest looking at everyday problems, no matter how small, and finding a way to solve them. These challenges are familiar to us, making it easier to think of ways to fix them. Does your son’s phone constantly die before after-school activities? Does your daughter complain her backpack is the same as everyone else’s in the class? Encourage your kids to look to these seemingly small inconveniences for inspiration.

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A Blended Family

Courtesy Suzi Shelton

raising kids voices

››

How reluctantly raising my son in two homes turned out to be a blessing in disguise By Suzi Shelton

W

hen my son was just 2 years old, his father and I decided to split up. We had tried for a while to make it work, but it was clear we would all be happier apart. For me, this meant our son would live with me full time in our Brooklyn apartment, and have visitation with his dad. For his dad, splitting up meant our son would split his time equally, and live in two homes.

This wasn’t something I was ready to accept. There was no way this was going to work out. It couldn’t be in the best interest of our young son. Could it?

A very wise family therapist told us, “Yes, actually, it could work out.” And yes, it could be a very happy and healthy way to raise our son. As long as we were both 100 percent onboard.

So, I thought long and hard about it, and decided I would get onboard. For our son.

At first, it was awful. I hated having to give up Sebastian (still a baby for God’s sake) for half of the week. And overnight! I would hand him over with his little Thomas the Tank Engine backpack with tears in my eyes and a pain in my heart. I would count the hours and then minutes until he came back to me, and I would hold him so tightly when he walked in the door. Except it wasn’t actually about me. It was about Sebastian and the fact that he deserved to have quality time with his Dad. We learned (through our family therapist) how to help Sebastian make this transition easier on himself, and on us. We learned to say things like, “I can’t wait to hear what you did at Daddy’s house,” instead of, “I’ll miss you so much!” And it became our new normal for our son to live in two homes. And have two beds and two sets of toys. And, eventually, two more parents. And Sebastian was fine with this. In fact, he was more than fine. He was happy.

Our blended family (from left): Sebastian (19), Julia (3), Emma (13), and Cole (10)

The thing I didn’t really anticipate with all of this was I would meet my now husband and have another child, and his Dad would marry and do the same, and those “extra” parents and children would be part of our family, too. Our modern family had expanded and grown and there was still quite a lot of love to go around. In fact, when Sebastian was in elementary school, he and his dad wrote a poem called “Mama’s House, Daddy’s House,” which we turned into a song that I put on my second album to share our message with the world…two homes but “one heart—filled with love.”

Now almost 18 years later, Sebastian’s dad and stepmom are two of my closest friends. We still share raising Sebastian, and we share raising our other children, too. My 13-year-old daughter has her own drawer of clothes at their house, and their two younger children have the same at my house. My husband and I fondly call them our “stepchildren” since there really isn’t another word for it, and you know what? It works.

Our 10-year-old stepson comes over regularly after school to “hang out” and get away from his 3-year-old sister. That same 3-year-old sister calls me “Mama!,” runs into my arms when I occasionally pick her up at preschool, and loves to come over and play with our dog, Penny. They both bring me so much joy.

We all decided to spend holidays together instead of alternating Sebastian between the two homes. It’s much easier this way, and actually more fun. I feel like I have four children instead of two. And when I need them, I have three other parents I can count on instead of just one. I feel lucky. I never would have imagined (way back when) that things would have turned out this way, and to be honest, I can’t imagine it any other way now.

Suzi Shelton, an award-winning singer/songwriter for the playground set, has been writing, recording, and performing music for families for more than 15 years. She is the proud mama of two and step-mama of two more. Shelton has just released her fourth solo album and is currently working on her fifth season of Sing with Suzi videos on YouTube for her preschool fans. See and hear it all at suzishelton.com.

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August 2018 | nymetroparents.com

things to do

diy corner

Pom Pom Hand Puppets While we love the summer weather and perfect beach days, sometimes it’s just too hot (or rainy) to be outside with the kids. But keeping them cooped up inside all day without planned activities can sometimes drive us crazy. So pull out the pipe cleaners and hot glue gun to make these hand puppets—a project featured in Debbie Chapman’s “Low-Mess Crafts for Kids”—and then have the kids write and perform a show for you!

Who needs a fancy puppet when you can use your hand?! Slide your middle finger into one of these pom pom hand puppets and use your fingers and thumb as the mouth. Hands can be surprisingly funny when you make them talk in a silly voice!

Do you want another low-mess craft tip? Look for bags of short pipe cleaners to add to your craft stash. There are no scraps to worry about when you don’t have to cut anything. Try curling a short pipe cleaner into a spiral for one set of eyes. Or use sparkly pom poms to make eyelashes on another one. A small change can inspire a completely new personality for your puppet.

Materials • 5 pipe cleaners, 6 inches long (or 3 full length pipe cleaners, cut in half) • 2 large pom poms • 2 small pom poms

1 2

• 2 medium googly eyes Tools • Low-temperature glue gun (make sure to ask a grownup to help when using)

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Directions 1. Fold one pipe cleaner in half, then bend it into a “U” shape.

2. Spread apart the fluff in one of the large pom poms. Add a small glob of hot glue into the opening, then press one of the pipe cleaner ends into the glue, pushing the fluff of the pom pom back into place around the pipe cleaner. Repeat with the other end of the pipe cleaner with the second large pom pom.

3. Fold two pipe cleaners in half. Add a small dab of hot glue onto the small pom poms and press them onto the tip of each pipe cleaner half. These will be the antennae.

4. Attach the pipe cleaner antennae to the top of each of the large pom poms using a glue gun.

5. Bend the pipe cleaner antennae slightly so they curve.

6. Take the end of another pipe cleaner and fold the end by about ½ inch. Fold it by ½ inch in the other direction. Continue folding it back and forth, in opposite directions, until you get to the end. Repeat for the last pipe cleaner. These will be the puppet’s eyebrows.

7. Attach the eyebrows to the front of the large pom poms using hot glue. Then attach the googly eyes slightly over the top of the eyebrows, again using hot glue.

8. Your pom pom hand puppet is complete!

Reprinted from Low-Mess Crafts for Kids with permission from Page Street Publishing Co. Photography by Debbie Chapman.

RocklandParent 13