FEEDBACK

Question:

Have Your Tots Ever Backtalked You?

“Definitely depends on the situation but I usually reframe it to remember that the child isn't giving me a hard time, but having a hard time. If the child is reacting to hearing the word, 'No,' then when they are calm we talk about strategies to handle their emotions when they are told 'No.'"

Michelle Tinsley Ellis

“Make a simple statement that it hurts your feelings, then ignore it. At that age, they don't realize those are hurtful words, but they learn when we tell them."

Ashley Altman about better ways to express themselves while spending time doing positive things."

Cas McCane

On The Cover

“Time out."

Bobbie J. Fetchak-Fay

"I had a daycare director tell me to put MYSELF in Time Out. Removing myself from them definitely worked more effectively than the other way around."

Kelsey Rider

“Honestly in those cases I feel that the kid needs more positive attention, not negative. Have a family game night, go on walks, cook dinner together etc. When my son is grounded from electronics we spend a lot of time doing those things and working out at the gym together and just going 'back to basics.' It helps improve everyone's mood in the house. Kids are allowed to have big feelings. They need taught how to regulate those feelings and express them properly. Saying they are mad and hate you is the only way they know how to express their anger in the moment. Talk to them

“If it’s young kids 4 and under, they don’t understand a lot of concepts only how they feel. Talking about feelings is more effective, i.e, 'You hurt my feelings and make me sad when you say those things.' Or, 'If we can’t use kind words then you don’t get (insert toy, object, etc.)' So is consistency and redirection. Mine has communication difficulties, so we always point out the great things we see in the behavior we want and redirect what we don’t want. Catching kids in the act of good behavior and praising them for it helps them know and understand what you expect from them. Also, role modeling good behavior as parents is important, too. Kids pay attention and pick up on what we do whether we realize it or not."

C.J. Jennings

“If they like you, you aren't doing your job."

Jessica Nichole

"Say, 'That would make me sad, because I really like and love you. But it's my job to keep you safe/ healthy/clean/ learning. What solution do you want? This or that?' Usually followed by some other suggestion. 'I'm sorry, my job won't let me do that, but I can do X.' Do you want a hug while you think about it? I have to keep doing the dishes while you think of it or we will be late for whatever."

Jackie Lakes

by Amanda Ciani